Metaphorical Oblivion

by

The way my lips form a curve whenever I see your name come

up on my screen as the notification goes off, *ping*, you

are online. My heart does that thing it does, you know that thing, where it skips a beat or a few bars, kind of like that girl in a

bar who drank too much and fell off her heels on the dancefloor after one

too many shots of tequil – a.

Deep down I know it’s not real, but this metaphor is like a

sandcastle that we built in the air and not with sand

but with words and the pictures of our days, play in my head like a

film reel and this forms our exchanges and our conversations.

Cyber-ficial interchanges of ideas and thoughts of what makes us tick and of what makes us talk.

We miss each other. But what is it that we miss if not something

we can touch? We have built this metaphor of emotions that are not tangible, but yet we can

feel it.

We feel it when we say you and when we say I and when the word love is

weaved in between the two to form a sentence that to

most would read I love you, but to us, it remains

invisible to our naked eye…

because we cannot say it, not to each other, it would

be a lie, because you cannot love a metaphor.

A symbol, an image, a façade, you cannot love a

representation of your imagination.

You cannot hold a screenshot of the last

message that came through when you felt lonely and

their online presence was the only thing that

comforted you like the virtual presents that he

would send you.

You cannot kiss the text message that reads “I want to

be with you”, as your lips part and you read the words

and envision his lips touching yours as you mouth the last

syllable out loud.

I close my eyes and the images that flood my mind open the

valves of my tear ducts and the salty water escapes and burns

my cheek as it falls to the ground, like my emotions fall –

slowly, but it makes a loud sound.

One that makes me open my eyes and stare

at the veil that is between us, the veil that has become my

refuge.

I tell myself: I want more. I need more.

That’s when reality sets in and it feels like a knife has been pushed through my

heart as I catch my breath and in that moment I

realize…

I AM IN LOVE WITH A METAPHOR