SCHOOL-AGED ANXIETY:WHAT’S TYPICAL AND WHEN SHOULD WE ASK FOR HELP?

Melissa A. Them, Ph.D.Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Specialist in Assessment and Treatment of Childhood Mental Health Disorders

Goals for Tonight

Differentiate between typical and atypical anxiety

Understand signs and symptoms of anxiety

Discuss strategies for encouraging students to cope with stress

Provide guidelines for parents Question & Answer

Typical Anxieties by Age

AGE ANXIETIES

7-9 months Stranger anxiety

1-4 years Separation anxiety

3-6 years Fears of imaginary things (ghosts, monsters, people in masks)Worries about the dark, the closet, what’s under the bed

7-12 years Real dangers (fires, burglars, storms, illness, drugs)Magical thinking (magic numbers, counting games)

12-14 years Worries stemming from social comparison (academic or athletic performance)

14-18+ years Concerns about social acceptance, moral issues, future plans

When has anxiety crossed over to disordered?

Signs of Significant Anxiety

Worry is excessive over seemingly insignificant situations

Worry and associated avoidance become the automatic responses in many situations

Subjective experience of feeling “on edge” or irritable

Support and coaxing are no longer effective

Perfectionism and extreme self-criticism

Signs of Significant Anxiety

Anxiety occurs most days for weeks or months Physical ailments are recurring (headaches,

stomach aches, nausea, vomiting) Avoidance is interfering with normal activities

(e.g., going to sleep, attending school) Child seeks excessive reassurance that does

not appear to relieve the anxiety Parents find themselves becoming extremely

frustrated with child’s worries or avoidant behaviors

So, what do we do???

Be Proactive

Develop Healthy Habits and Routines Family Mealtimes Bedtime Routines and Reasonable Bedtimes

7-12 years 10-11 hours 12-18 years 8-9 hours

Homework Routines and Time Management Exercise Relaxation and Down Time

Listen to your Child

Listen quietly and attentively Acknowledge his/her feelings with a word or two Give the feeling a name Understand that the fear is real to your child

and don’t minimize it All feelings can be accepted. Certain behaviors

must be limited. “I can see how worried you are

about this test, but you have to go to school. Let’s work together to find a way.”

The Anxiety Game

Anxiety is all offense and no defense Anxiety tells you there is something to fear

and – worse – you can’t handle it. Anxiety tells you to stay away Anxiety = AVOIDANCE

Winning the Game To beat anxiety, we must not avoid it Better yet, we could APPROACH it

Maintain Expectations

Keep things as typical as possible For instance, set and keep your expectations

that your child will attend school Don’t cater to fears

Support your child and provide encouragement for approaching them

Provide reinforcement Verbal praise Non-verbal signs of approval If helpful, positive contingencies

Where Can We Turn for Help?

School Personnel Guidance Counselors Social Workers School Psychologists

Outside Treatment Options Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Medications

Some Common Concerns

Test Anxiety What is test anxiety?

Test anxiety is NOT a lack of test preparation Test anxiety occurs when a student is well-prepared,

but is excessively worried about an exam or enters an exam and his/her mind goes blank

Can include shakiness, nausea, light-headedness, etc.

What to do Study in advance Ask for help Challenge negative thinking Healthy habits (eat and sleep) Encourage compassion for mistakes

Some Common Concerns

Social Media Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, gChat Distraction from homework Failure to

prepare Cyber-bullying School avoidance

Cell Phones Texting distraction, disruption of sleep,

cyber-bullying

Questions?

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