Matrimonyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq2RDYlOLrs&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL142A357FEBD4900A

In Scripture Where do we see elements of marriage in

Scripture Throughout Genesis

Page 209 Men and women are created for each other Married life is be basis of human society Love – a reflection of the Love of God is central to

marriage. Love is essentially human – reason, choice, not just

instinct. Choosing the good of the beloved. Love seeks the other, not the self. It is self giving.

In Scripture Christ makes known

Marriage is a permanent union Two become one flesh

Original Meaning of Marriage Love by its nature requires a relationship.

Requires an ‘other’. Seeks union with that person (give myself to the other, for

the other) Father – Holy Spirit – Son

Originally created male and female complete union of self-giving love Created in a state of marriage – unity between the man

and woman.

Original – Reflects God’s love (P, U, C)

Original Meaning - Destroyed Sin destroys the original plan of marital union.

Selfless love of total gift was destroyed Now selfish love, own desires Heart was hardened against original plan Disordered passions and desires (get mine) Ultimate – adultery

To tolerate this fallen state, Old Testament allows for divorce “For the hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your

wives, but from the beginning it was not so” – Matthew 19:8

Original Meaning - Restored Marriage needed to be elevated to return to the original state that

was intended As part of his redeeming mission (restoring our place with God) he

re-established the permanence of marriage, making it a sacrament. Mark 10:6-9

From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

Declaration that it should be lifelong again would not just make people be able to live up to it. Graces available for married couples to live as God wants them to live.

CCC 1608 To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman

need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them “in the beginning”.

Marriage and Grace Needed to overcome Original Sin Also needed to overcome sinfulness that is active

today Culture of sin affects both partners in marriage

Focusing on self-interest instead of self-sacrifice

Couple must cooperate with God’s grace given in the Sacrament and follow teachings of Christ to overcome these weaknesses.

Efficacious Signs of Grace Transform and bear fruit in those who

receive them Here God joins a man and woman in an

indissoluble bond (original intention) Gives them supernatural graces to live out

their vocation to marriage Vocation is for the good of the spouses and

their children, the fruit of their love.

The Covenant of Marriage 3 parties involved:

Man, Woman, God God creates the marriage bond

God gives it special laws Therefore, man can’t break it

All aspects of marriage point to one thing: The total gift of self to the other person. Graces make this gift possible Perfect love, strengthen marriage, welcome children, attain

holiness Take up their crosses: forgive one another, bear each others burdens

etc.

Summary so far… God binds a baptized man and woman together in

permanent union Indissoluble covenant established by God, can’t be

broken by man Gives actual graces needed to fulfill vocation to marital

state Directed toward union of spouses, their mutual good,

procreation, education of kids Enables couple to cooperate with God in his plan of

creation.

UNITIVE AND PROCREATIVEDimensions of Marital Love

Unitive God is Love

Gives himself entirely to us Desire we give ourselves entirely to him

Love God with whole heart, mind, soul, being Shows itself

Old Testament – Faithful, likened to bride & groom New Testament – Christ and his Church – same

Matrimony is the greatest example of this love Give themselves to each other entirely – body and soul –

promising unending fidelity Promise made in a human way – body and soul

Vows and conjugal love

Conjugal Love Latin – conjungere

Means join together

Love is manifested in many ways. Examples?

Full expression of unending faithful love The Conjugal Act So integral to MARRIAGE PROMISES, marriage bond is not

complete until consummated.

Conjugal Love Every time couple expresses marital love

this way, they renew their marital covenant (think about it) In the Covenant, couple promises

Faithfulness Permanence‘ Openness to life (that is total self gift)

This is what we say, written in the very action. It cannot be separated.

Marital ActSex is Good.

Church seeks to protect the fullness of its meaning.Culture tries to destroy sex by objectivizing the other and making

it all about pleasure

Written into the action however, as humans, is something we can never remove/society simply denies it, which is why we have so

many issues today.

Marriage/Consummation/Marital Act The couple expresses their intention It is consummated when that expression is given fully –

through the marital act Therefore, the full meaning of sex, being a human act, not just a physical

act, has a physical dimension, and a spiritual, actualized with the commitment to be fully given to the other.

What is being said with the body has real meaning behind it as well that is fully expressed in the sacramental exchange of vows.

Every action has meaning – it can’t be separated out. Example: slap in the face. You can’t really do it and say you didn’t

mean anything by it. Sex has meaning written into the very action.

The action says to another – I give myself completely to you. Written into the sexual act is the total gift of self to another.

The Fullness of an act Sex then finds its right and true expression in marriage:

The inherent meaning of the marital act is the same as the vows said in the sacrament.

Sex outside of marriage is a corrupting of the inherent meaning of sex.

Today’s culture in making sex simply a tool of personal pleasure destroys the truth of what the act says.

Society tries to split sex and remove what is truly human about it. It tries to take the physical aspect and deprive it of any meaning. This is impossible to do

Any act that intentionally prevents these natural ends of marriage (good of the couple and procreation of children, total gift of self) violates the nature of marriage.

Society tries to make sex less human. The Church tries to maintain the fullness of its human meaning.

The Impossible Action Premarital Sex

Actions of couple are trying to express a reality that doesn’t exist

They have not given themselves permanently to each other through the Sacrament, and they have not been bound together by God

Here the physical act is a deception, a corruption Adultery is not only contradictory, but also against

a bond that does exist.

Sex Outside of Marriage This is why it is so damaging and why sex is not to be outside of marriage

Sex outside of marriage, one is saying: Be my object of pleasure (about me) (not giving you myself) I don’t give myself to you permanently Definitely not open to creative side of self-gift

BUT Our bodies say total self-gift, and total self-gift IS holding nothing back and

permanent, and its about the other not me. SO sex outside of marriage is detrimental and so damaging because it is a lie. Everything about it says gift, and even if one doesn’t want to take it that way you

can’t. Trying to make it just say ‘pleasure’ is impossible, even if both parties agree.

The very action itself says “I give to the other” but the rest of you says you don’t. So after sex, when one leaves, or doesn’t stay, there is real damage.

Sex outside of Marriage Trying to just be animals. Trying to deprive it of the will, the intellect, love

All that makes it/us human

Sex outside of marriage is being more animalistic and less human

Will – Choice, meaning More than just instinct and biology.

Sex outside of marriage tries to take the will, the intellect, the human element out and say we can do this without the meaning.

PROCREATIVE ASPECT OF MARITAL LOVE

True love bears fruit Creation is an expression of God’s love Person responds to God’s love, it produces good fruit Love btw Husband and wife does the same

Procreative aspect is integral part of unitive, not second attribute.

Nature of marriage and marital act then is directed towards unity of spouses and procreation of children Any act that INTENTIONALLY frustrates this end, violates the

nature of marriage

Artificial Birth Control Couple, by the act of the will, intentionally removing one of the

inherent meanings of the marital act ABC intentionally removes one of the inherent meanings of the

marital act, corrupting the meaning of the act itself. What are you doing? You are withholding the complete gift of self. You

are saying in one sense I give myself to you, but in another sense you are saying you don’t.

Ultimately, you are lying. Same with adultery – you are saying one thing with your body (I

give myself to you completely) but intending something else. Similar to receiving Eucharist with mortal sin.

Actions don’t line up with your interior disposition. Human act must have both.

Infidelity as well – holding something back from spouse – not giving all of yourself, which is what you say in love/marriage and the sexual act.

Humanae Vitae (1968) Pope Paul VI reemphasized Church’s stance on sexuality and Articifical

Birth Control Explained moral reasons, and prophetically mentioned what would

result from ABC: Adultery would become more common Sexual morality would be lowered in general Increase in sexual promiscuity Premarital sex would become widespread Respect for the human person and especially women would be

diminished as the body would be viewed more as an object of selfish enjoyment

Governments would impose ABC on segments of the population.

NFP Natural Family Planning

Fundamentally different than ABC Used according to God’s moral law, upholds the dignity and

sacredness of the marital act as an expression of total self-giving and openness to life

Abstains from sex in fertile periods, yet open to life if it is to happen.

Not intentionally changing the act itself and holding back, simply abstaining from the act in times for correct responsible reasons

CELEBRATING THE SACRAMENT

Similar to Holy Orders Both Sacraments at the Service of

Communion Both begin life-long commitment to a

specific vocation Both the commitment is made before the

sacrament takes place Both need significant preparation

REQUIREMENTS FOR MARRIAGE

Requirements Proper Age

Universal Church 16 for man 14 for woman

Nation Conference of Bishops in each country can raise it but can’t lower it.

Most raise it to 18 unless consent of parents Also must meet the requirements of the country

and state they live

Requirements Can’t be forced – must be free will Must be able to reason

So mental or psychological problem that doesn’t allow one to truly concern the duties and rights in marriage can’t receive sacrament.

Should receive Confirmation before Also Eucharist and Reconciliation

Ceremony must follow the rites of the Church Can’t make up their own

Requirements1. Consent – free act of will by each

1. Mutually give and accept each other

2. Willingness to welcome children and educate them

2. Follow Proper Marriage Rites

3. No Impediments – Divine Law

1. Impotence

2. Existing Marriage Bond

3. Consanguinity

4. No Impediments – Church Law

1. Age

2. Disparity of Cult – (baptized and non-baptized)

3. Holy Orders

4. Public/Perpetual Vow of Chastity

5. Crime

6. Legal Relationship

Marriages to Non-Catholics Mixed Marriages

Between Catholic and Christian not in full communion with Catholic Church

Need permission from Local Ordinary Disparity of Cult

Between Catholic and non-baptized Need dispensation from local Ordinary

May Grant permission under these conditions: Catholic recognizes the dangers of falling away, makes promise to avoid

those, and to raise children in the Catholic faith Other party is informed of these promises Both are instructed on the essential ends of marriage Should marry in the Catholic Church.

Matter/Form/Minister Matter/Material symbol

Not the rings Not the dress The spouses themselves – their persons/bodies Through their bodies given to each other grace is poured out

Form/words The repetition of the wedding vows

Minister Priest is simply a witness to the vows, NOT the minister of the

sacrament The marriage consists of the expression of commitment to each

other, therefore, the spouses administer the Sacrament of Matrimony to each other.

THE RITE OF MATRIMONY

Questions Catholic wedding vows are usually preceded by three questions

from the priest: "(Name) and (name), have you come here freely and without

reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"   "Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your

lives?"   "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up

according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

Vows  I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife.

I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Exchange of Rings Groom (placing the wedding ring on his

wife's ring finger): (Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

VOCATION TO MARRIAGECall to holiness

DOMESTIC CHURCH

SINS AGAINST MARRIAGE

ANNULMENT

Marriage Covenant Page 214

Key points? Questions? Discussion?

Covenant vs Contract Self giving relationship.

What does without reservation mean? Repeated self-giving? What is necessary for total-self giving?

What does infidelity do? What is permanence all about?

Consent to Marry The man and woman make known their will to

give themselves to each other in order to live faithful, fruitful love. With intentions: Unity – exclusive love Indissolubility – permanent love Openness to life – love must be open and life giving.

Human Act Freedom Not constrained or forced Not impeded by some other law

Baptized man or woman

Page 223 – Divorce, Remarriage, Annulment Marriage is permanent Civil government has no power to dissolve a valid marriage

It can only dissolve the civil aspects. In the eyes of God, even in civil divorce, a valid marriage still exists. (all about

authority again) Church has no power to dissolve a valid sacramental marriage that

has been consummated. (only death does that). Church may declare a marriage null and void after investigating the

marriage didn’t exist in the beginning. Annulment Lack of free consent Something wrong in the form Impediment

Remarriage without annulment, following the words of Christ, is a very serious sin in the eyes of the Church.

It is equivalent to adultery in that one who is still married is living with another. They are to not receive sacraments except for confession.

The plan of God for Man and Woman God is Love

Created man and woman for love to love Called to a communion of life in marriage

‘No longer two, but one flesh’

Love necessarily from the beginning is permanent and faithful. Total self gift How so? Permanent – seeking the good of the beloved, not sometimes,

but it says now and forever. Love never means momentarily. It has an infinite quality.

Faithful – I seek the good of the beloved. Telling one you give yourself to their good, but then you wrong them or in your actions say that you don’t, it is not true love. It says to trust you – it says to open up and be vulnerable.

Fear in today’s world is that one won’t be faithful, that you can’t trust them, that one who says ‘I love you’ doesn’t actually mean it.

The ends of Marriage in God’s design By its nature ordered towards:

The good of the couple. Generation and education of children.

Indissoluble “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder’

(Mark 10:9) Consent to love in marriage is a giving of self – without sin

entering the world, that gift is unwavering. When two are joined together, they are joined in God, and

are forever joined.

Sin and Marriage Since original sin entered the world, disharmony flooded

every aspect of life Including harmony between man and woman Because of this, marriage union is always under attack from

Discord – conflict Infidelity – love becomes corrupted by selfishness, and makes it

hard for one to be faithfully committed to another. Infidelity shows a withholding of total love.

Intention to end the marriage in the future also shows incomplete love – love being total self gift.

Moses adds divorce to the law because he sees the original plan for marriage so very hard to maintain in a world immersed with concupiscence.

Marriage for Everyone? If God created marriage, then is everyone

supposed to get married? Nope. Some follow Christ in a life of celibacy for

the sake of the Kingdom. They give up the goods of matrimony to seek what

is above (Col 3) They are a sign of what is to come in heaven.

CCC 1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have

recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was.

If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law.

Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists.

For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities.

Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often

keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons: They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to

attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.