MASSEY’S TOURS, L™

MASSEY’S TOURS, L™,______________ , , ' . • ■ - ■ ■ ■->

A ny Old Route. A ny Old Time.......- ■ • ■ ~~........ . ~— • • . —, ..—: ; . 1 • ~~~~ :•

Leaving at Unknown Intervals, via SOUTH PACIFIC ISLANDS (in the distance), SAMOA, COLOMBO,

KERMADECS, PANAMA, THE CANAL, ADEN, NEW YORK, GIBRALTAR, COCOS ISLAND, etc., etc.

A , Few Days Spent in Every Port ( Perhaps).

GLORIOUS SCENERY. COMFORTABLE CABINS. FATTENING FOODS.BO O K EA R LY m Bring Bathing Trunks for Tropics,:, NO FE E S ,BO O K EARLYm > Tennis Shoes, Snowshoes, Skis, NO FE E S ,BOOK E A R L Y , Skates, and an extra Blanket.. NO F E E S .

SODDEN CHANGES OF TEMPERATURE A SPECIALTY. T R Y OUR HEATLESS DAYS,

Personally Conducted Tours Battlefield, France, arranged.

BEST DUG OUT ACCOM M ODATION. MODERATE TERMS. BRING YOUR: IRON RATIONS.First Class Doctors and Nurses always in. attendances All care taken and responsibility,

R E M E M B E R —; You are travelling at our expense, not yours. We ofiFer better terms and better times than any other firms.

COME AND HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.; If we cannot induce you to come we must compel you. Every single man should jump at this chince to see life;

D O N ’T F O R G E T -You will land at every, port, unless local restrictions prevent you; so

BOOK NOW! BOOK NOW ! BOOK NOW !You will never regret it. Every convenience on board. Stew for the Studious, Saloons for the Subalterns/

Sport for the Sporty.

FREE TO ALL. V a c c i n a t i o n a n d I n o c u l a t i o n a S p e c i a l t y . FREE TO ALL.Try a course of Submarine Guat-d for that tired feeling;--It will make a new man of you.

Clinks for thes Criminal, Cash for "the Canteen, Cards for the Knuts.. We?ye got them all. .v So why not come and get your share ?

Delays are Dangerous. Delays are Dangerous.WE W ANT YOUR COMPANY NOW.

If your Conscience, pricks you our Special Course of Orderly Room will; soon put you right.

T R Y U S ! T R Y U S ! T R Y U S !If You Don’t We Will Try You.

S o D O 17 N O W .

For further particulars of interest to intending travellers see W ireless News and Casualty Lists.

JIM ALLEN,1 hy , ..........■ General Manager. \

^ r e s il ie n t :C aptain J. C- McKILLOP-

QT.m ninittee:Sergt. W . G- W ALKLEY

(A C oyJ.

S erg t. C. R O B E R T SO N (B Coy-)-

Serg t. L. J. S T E V E N S (C Coy.).

Sergt. N. M. M cGORLICK (D Coy.).

1/

H Uc(jhe Magazine o f the 3 3 rd Reinforcement

L A R K H I L L , F E B R U A R Y 1918 VoL I No, I Price 1/6

J o i n t S S tiito rs : ?nd-Lieut. W. J. R. HILL- Sergeant T- M- GEDDIS.

ffiommittec:Sergt. E. C R O SB Y

(E Coy-).C . -S .-M . R. ROYAL

(25 th Maoris).Sergt. L. A. M ARSHALL

(Specs ).S .-Sergt- W- E. HALL

(M edical Corps).

Fo l l o w i n g in the footsteps (or wake) of our predecessors, we have decided to gather this little collection of writings and sketches together and

have them published in book form as a memento of the 33rd Reinforcement. W e have not aimed at anythinggreat, our idea being to publish a souvenir of the mobilisation, the training, and the ship adventures of the latest N ew Zealand draft. Hampered consider

ably by a lack of correspondents, we have done our best with the material at our disposal, and if certain incidents in the life of the draft have been missed the fault lies with the Reinforcement and not with us. T o those correspondents who have helped we convey our heartiest thanks, and we only hope that the Reinforce - ment will derive as much pleasure from the magazine as we did in the preparation of it.

T H E K ing I the K ing I God save the K ing I From land and sea and sky,

From billet and from battlefield, from trench and battery, From Salonica 's scorching heat, from Belgium 's w intry plain, From Nile and Tigris, Seine and Somme, from Meuse and M arne

and Aisne,From shot-swept beach and deadly ridge in grim Gallipoli, i From ships that keep unending watch across the wild N orth Sea, T o all her Sons, in all her lands, sure of their answering,T he M other Country pledged the toast of 44 Gentlem en, the King ! "

“ The King, God bless him ! ” Sw ift and sure the loyal answ er comes, C an you hear our arm ies m arching to the rolling of the drums ?1 he sons of Britain of the South take up their arm s w ith pride,T o help defend the good old flag, for w hich their fathers died.From Auckland, Southland and O tago, W estland, S tew art's Isle, Haw ke's Bay, W airarapa, W ellington—the ranks pass on in file. N elson and M arlborough M anaw atu, C an terbury 's sons,These c'ean limbed giants w ith faces set, pass out to meet the guns. Beneath one flag, one King we serve, for one sure end we f ig h t;God save the King, God guard the flag, and God defend the r ig h t!

OURSELVES

3 EN, more m e n , and still more men were required. We had prom ised the men ; we had willed to win. Born of such will, the

corner stone of the 33rd Reinforcem ent was hewn and shaped in th a t little valley ’m idst the hills now dear to us at T rentham .

Ninety selected men arrived in T rentham at the end of May, 191^. Their experience the first day or two. was th a t of every recruit. M arched into the institu tes 'for a ttes tin g and paraded to the stores for equipm ent and clothing, they lost all their civic dignity in the inevitable suit of denims. Long slacks and denim coats, and h ats w ithout pugarees proclaimed them to all and sundry as “ the very la te s t.” Still under cover of those denims, so stiff and slodgy in their new ness, were the fram es of m en draw n from all the professions and walks in life. U niversity professors, law yers, farmers-, engineers, both civil and m echanical, all sunk their identity to come into the common brotherhood of soldiery. These were the men selected to lead the reinforcem ent through all its vicissitudes of train ing and w a rfa re ; corporals every one of them.

The little band of ninety took their responsibilities with g rea t seriousness. Fond ideas of their

commenced “ Squad drill with in tervals.” W eary days were spent in the elem entary p arts of infantry

O V ER T H E HILL,

im portance were soon ended when train ing began. U nder guidance of S .S .M .’s Taylor, Chas. Rogers, Jim Ryan and Co, the reinforcem ent of corporals

NEARING K A IT O K E,

training. They appreciated the slow m arch with the sam e hatred as the average private.

Ca p t a i n R. J. S e d d o n T a k e s a H a n d .

And then an event of im portance to the reinforcem ent happened. Captain R. J. Seddon reported for duty and was posted as O.C. His in terest in the boys was sincere and real. The little difficulties th a t a t first beset them cleared aw ay and the life of a soldier began to bear new significance. Captain Seddon w as everyone’s friend. In te rmingled with hard work were ample opportunities for recreation and the “ Leave K in g s” of the 33rds then came into being.

Well do all rem em ber the parades to the racecourse. How often did our C aptain Cheater roar

S tand s t i l l” — how often he praised them and how more often he b lasted them.

Still all the time the corner stone w as being ham m ered into shape. From one se t of instructors to another they passed. “ Bumper ” W right, droll and humorous, was ever a delight to1 the boys. Company drill under “ B um per” was never a bore — it always ended in somebody being called nam es. “ Don’t you think you’re rough, Corporal? ” was ever ready on his lips, bu t they were com paratively smooth when S.S.M. W right had finished with them.

And then Angus Milroy, alias “ H ag g is ,” the reputed Scot who could always find fault. If

IN THE BEGINNING.TramSog of the Tklrty4fa!fd Reinforcement IM0C0O 0 Glass

to Embarkation By To M. G*

H

T E H U I A 3nothing else was wrong it was the parade s ta te — poor orderly sergean ts.

They proceeded on to m usketry. Lieuts. Davis and Stevenson with S .S .M .’s F ranks, Beaum ont, F re t well and Co. were the instructors. They nursed them through the course and m ade out of th a t little company the instructo rs for the reinforcem ent. Physical drill and bayonet fighting were not fo rgo tten— nor was class leave. Captain Seddon saw to t h a t ; will it be fo rgo tten? By this time the corporals felt more like veterans than recruits.

C o l . Ma c D o n a l d ’ s L e c t u r e s .But much rem ained to be done. Col. Mac

D onald’s lectures followed and were fully appre-

AN EA SY GRAD E,

ciated. His clean, concise ways, and his estim able m anner, with his alm ost perpetual “ Sm oke-oh,” endeared him to all.

There were m any little feuds with the neighbouring N.C.O. classes—in the 33rds none. Good fellowship existed righ t through the training. It was the pleasure of the 32nds and the 33rds to chip a t one another— the sort of good feeling often found betw een an elder b ro ther and a younger one ; first a bit strained. But w hat of i t ! L ittle argum ents helped pass away the time th a t m ight o therwise have hung heavy.

A p p r o a c h i n g M o b i l i s a t i o n .Then the 33rd began to> m aterialise. Rumours

of approaching m obilisation stirred Corporal S treet to its depths. The corporals were to actually have “ m e n ” ! They were to command, they were to- be-------alas, some becam e se rgean ts , some rem ainedcorporals, m any were boarded out, and other branches claimed a few. “ Ernie ” Ford fell a victim to F a th er Time, to the reg re t of all the boys. The ninety bold and brave men were sadly depleted, and m ust be reinforced. Some of our old friends of the 32nds were selected to fill the gaps. With their coming all the old rivalry disappeared. B e tte r knowledge fostered g rea te r regard . They becam e the 33rds, h eart and soul.

Together they go onward, mindful of those not with them , but th e b e tte r for the train ing received in their N.C.O. classes and the friendships they made there.

W h e n t h e M e n Ca m e i n .“ When do the men come in? ” T hat was the

question. Speculation was rife. The m agic words seemed to be on the lips of every class-m an.

With w hat eagerness the Seddonian band of two- stripers looked forw ard to the arrival in cam p of the nex t d ra ft of recruits. How would they shape? Would we get our full complement, and w hat companies, if any, would be placed on the “ w ash -o u t” basis ?

The p leasan t memories of Corporal S tree t quickly faded into dim obscurity, and it was with m arked feelings of reg re t th a t the N .C .O .’s repaired to their new quarters , where, in due course, the respective companies were to be housed during the few d ays’ stay in T rentham . And every p reparation was m ade for the lads who were so soon to enter upon a milita ry career.

And then came the men— town lads, country lads. There was Charlie off the tu rn ips; Clarence of the necktie, Claude and C uthbert, too. Through the g ates of T rentham there had never passed a finer body of men. T rentham Band and “ Pack up your T ro u b les” were the first to g ree t them a t the sta tion , and all hands turned out to give vent to 'rousing cheers.

“ Are you dow n-hearted? ” they yelled.“ No-o-o-o-o! ” was the no uncertain reply.“ Well, you jolly well soon will b e ,” was the com

forting answer.I t was on Septem ber 20 th a t the g rea t m ilitary

octopus drew from every corner of the Dominion these men who were to form the 33rds.

T E A AND SM OKE-OH,

They came in tens— nay, in hundreds. From the centres of industry they poured in, from the gum- fields of N orth Auckland, from the farm lands of O tago and Canterbury. A, B, C, D, anql E companies received their quotas, but F m issed. And

A i

4

in this manner the 33rd Reinforcement was “ dress,” and were also given a little knowledge in launched. the art of carrying the rifle. They were certainly

C i v i l i a n s t o S o l d i e r s .

It is said that the drowning man conjures up before his eyes his life ’ s history— what thoughts passed through the minds of these brand new soldiers as they laid aside their civilian “ pretties ” for the khaki. Through the stores they filed in alphabetical order, each man being issued a soldier’s requirements. “ Sixes ” in tunics ; “ tens ” in footwear ; pugarees and puttees; shirts, socks and shorts — everything.

“ Blim ey,” w as Bill’ s remark to his m ate, “ folks as ’ ud think we were goin’ on a journey to the North Pole, the clobber they ’ ands out to u s.”

Genial M ajor Mounsey and his ever obliging staff at the Q.M. stores carried out their by no means light task with neatness and despatch. The men were quickly and satisfactorily equipped with all that a soldier most needs.

B ack to> the huts they went, and, ordered to divest themselves of their civvy clothing, the few- hour-old soldiers at once directed their attention to donning the uniform. W hat a busy time. Exam ination of this garm ent, trying on that. Puttees puzzled and few were pleased with their denim fit.There were no bouquets for “ Bill M assey’ s tailors.”Boots pinched— but only boots. We had no old soldiers at that stage.

M y s t e r i e s o f t h e H i s t o r y S h e e t .

Then came the corporal’s queries. M edical inspection over, groups' of twenties and- thirties were marched to the Church of England Institute, where shrewd-eyed corporals put leading, but nevertheless tactful, questions to the new-comers.

It w as here that our charges were introduced to the m ysteries of the history sheet— here where they had the deeds and misdeeds of a life-time raked fore and aft. When did he m arry? Why did he m arry? Y es, false teeth were essential. A farm up in the K ing Country. And her maiden name was Gertrude Matilda. No, no previous service, except two months in the Kuturoa B o ys’ Scouts.No m edals, but four children. Corporals are alw ays tactful and polite. Bit by bit it all came out and at last the two-stripe artists completed their task.

Those in charge had a busy time. There was the feeding of the troops to> attend to, hut accom modation arrangem ents to be considered, the inevitable palliasse to fill, t

T a u h e r e n i k a u .

Warned that we were to m ove to Tauherenikau on the Saturday, officers commanding companies took advantage of the first available opportunity of putting their men through the elem entary stages of . “ rough,” but the little instruction enabled them to infantry training. The men were given ju st a smat- m ake quite a creditable showing on the day of our tering of how to do the turnings, “ form fo u rs / ’ departure.

THE ADJUTANT,

T E H U I A 5Reveille sounded a t 5 a.m . on the S aturday, and

from th a t hour onward things w ent merrily. There was packing of k its , burning of straw , and finally the scrubbing out of the huts. By 8.30 all were ready. I t was an ideal day, and the troops were in high glee. Through the m ain ga te they m arched, company after company. And as the clock in old T ren tham tow er chimed the hour of nine the train steam ed out. In four hours’ time Featherston had been reached, with the reinforcem ent on the road en route to the seg rega tion camp.

U naccustom ed to m arching and sorely out of condition m any found the tram p along the dusty road no easy task . However, the officers saw to ii th a t the men were not unduly tried. T auherenikau w as reached by easy stages.

Resigned to the fac t th a t they were compelled to rem ain here for the first month of their training the would-be w arriors se ttled down, within the first few hours, tfj; the cram ped and irksom e conditions of life under canvas.

I t w as a t Tauherenikau th a t the first a ttem pt w^as really m ade to fit them to become fighters for the Empire.

T h e “ B u l l R i n g . ”

Who was there who had not been w arned of the terro rs of the “ Bull R in g ,” th a t wind-swept, isolated, rock-strew n area, kept, in the opinion of many, by a m ilitary authority whose chief aim it seem ed was to injure the limbs of the infantrym an.

And the system of training. Almost daily the reinforcem ent assem bled a t the “ Bull R ing,” for it was here th a t practically the whole of our elem entary train ing w as carried out.

S tartin g with positions such as “ a tten tio n ,” “ stand a t ea se ,” “ s tand easy ,” the syllabus next set. out th a t instruction in “ turnings ” w as to be given, and then came the slow m arch. There was “ goose s t e p ” in plenty, and few there were who did not sigh with relief when the second week of tra in ing brought in “ quick time ” movements. Each officer and N.C.O. took a squad of men— usually seven to te n s trong— and in this way the instruction was carried out. In fan try drill, physical exercise, m usketry, bayonet fighting— officers and N .C .O .’s instructed in every branch.

And it was not long before we had ample proof of the success of this m ethod of training. The members of the Reinforcement fast became real live soldiers, and it is whispered th a t on the day of our removal to F ea th ersto n . a certain Tauherenikau m ajor observed, “ There goes the best trained reinforcem ent we have turned out for some tim e.”

Our men learn t m any things in these first few w eeks of cam p life. The first leave did not come for ten days, and there w as a rush for a few hours freedom and frivolity. “ Leave Kings ” soon sprang into existence. Men learned th a t there was more than the dictionary definition in the word “ b la s t.” But it w as not all work. Concerts were

held alm ost nightly. There was always som ething 011 a t one or the other of the institu tes. And before the end came there was organised a m ost successful m ilitary sports gathering . Entries were num erous, and contests and com petitions were keenly fought out.

F e a t h e r s t o n .

It was on the m orning of the tw entieth day of October tha t the five companies of the 33rd Reinforcem ent shook the dust of Tauherenikau from off their feet and se t out for the more com fortable quarters in Featherston Camp. F irst our men were fed and hutted . Here was a new experience in the feeding line. At T rentham mess orderlies brought food to the huts, but here platoons were m arched to the large dining halls— a unique featu re of the F eatherston system — to partak e of the good things provided. It w as not long before all began to appreciate the convenience of the big mess principle, especially after the primitive m ethods of Tauherenikau, where all hands squa tted round the ten t floor in Maori Wahine fashion, and devoured the food best way they could.

For a day or two -the training went on on very much the sam e lines as a t Tauherenikau. M orning and afternoon it was either of the two train ing grounds, B urt’s and E lg a r ’s paddocks. A novel feature, and a new one so far as the men were concerned, was the presence of the F eatherston M ilitary Band at the head of the column m arching in and out of camp.

The daily syllabus then turned to more advanced work— close order drill gave way to extended order movements and fire discipline, and the soldier began to realise th a t he was being throw n more and more on his own resources. I t was a t F eatherston th a t much m usketry knowledge was im parted to the men, but no range practices were carried out until we reached T rentham .

F i n a l L e a v e .

W hat soldier has not rejoiced a t the thought of ‘ 1 final leave ? ” Week after week brought the usua? budget of camp rum ours, but no official intimatioci. At las t came the announcem ent th a t we were to have the eighteen days a t C hristm as, when the three camps would be closed for fum igation purposes. But, alas, our hopes were dashed to earth . Our next and final notice was th a t we would proceed to our respective destinations on November 8 and 9. The soldier had h ad week-end leave, Master- ton leave, local leave, and “ Tin H ut ” leave, but these short periods of freedom were nothing as compared to the possibilities of “ final.” W hat visions mounted up before his eyes— parties, picnics, send-offs, and the ever-ready fond kiss and welcome of kinsfolk, sw eethearts, friends.

Their holiday period a t an end the men returned to camp as determ ined as ever to se ttle down to serious work ahead.

O v e r t h e H i l l .

When roll call w as held on the morning of November 21 there was a low percentage of absentees, and the few days that followed our return were set aside in preparing the men for the Jong-talked-of march over the Rim utakas. Rente m arches, company and platoon drill, and, as ever, physical “ jerks ” were the order of each day, and by the 27th our lads were fit and hard and eager for our initial really big undertaking.

We were the first to march “ o v e r ” since the 24ths, and it was with no little feeling of pride that we were escorted out of Featherston Camp on the morning of the 27th stirred by the m artial airs of the Featherston Band. Strict m ilitary discipline w as adhered to throughout. The first day we experienced little wind, and a fierce sun made movement up the gradual Rim utaka slope slow and trying.

Led by Col. MacDonald, the boys kept up a steady pace, and landed in Trentham about 10 a.m. on the following morning. A pleasing feature of the march w as the reception received at the Summit. Here we were met by a band of W airarapa ladies, who had prepared a most welcome meal— hot tea, buns and saveloys. W e bivouacked at Kaitoke. The night w as ideal for sleeping out, and all enjoyed the novel experience. A fter dusk concert parties got busy and everyone made merry. There was also the inevitable joker— even the m eat took it into its head to get lively.

Early next morning the five companies were on the road, and by 10 a.m. we had entered Trentham Camp.

Col. MacDonald w as highly complimentary when he referred to our achievement, rem arking upon it as one of the best performances put up by any reinforcement. The men were well disciplined, and he did not hesitate in saying that it w as one o f the best reinforcements he had piloted over the hill. It also goes down to the credit o f the 33rds that in only one or two cases did men drop out o f the ranks during the march.

D e a r O l d T r e n t h a m .

How eagerly all hands looked forward to the next ^ fe w w eeks in Trentham , for has it not been writ in

song and story— “ For it ’ s home, sweet h om e” ?Our first undertaking after getting settled in our

new huts w as a rehearsal. It w as announced that Lo rd Liverpool would inspect the 33rds on the racecourse on Friday. There w as much preparation. Movements in battalion formation were practised, marching o f platoons in line, saluting, etc. The inspection itself w as a great affair. Every button polished, every soldier the very essence of neatness.

The Royal Salute w as given with clock - like regularity. His Excellency w as pleased. A t the conclusion he addressed officers commanding companies and platoon commanders. He compli

mented them on the appearance of their men and their work, and as in the cases o f some previous inspections he had no faults to find. From officer to private all had done their level best to m ake the show a success, he said.

Much of our time in Trentham w as occupied with shooting practices and various companies _put up good performances with “ the Enfield 1914.” Our last days were spent with more advanced infantry work, carried out under the direction of Col. Cummings. A ttack drill w as new to the men, and night manoeuvres were fuill of interest. Hard work was put in 011 the bayonet fighting course, the Reinforcement being the first to. pass through the hands of the recently constituted band of permanent bayonet fighting instructors.

O f f t o B l i g h t y .

The date of our departure from New Zealand w as then the all-absorbing topic, and from every hand came the ever-ready query— “ When are you going aw a y?” With Christmas so close at hand, it seemed improbable that we would be sent forward before the conclusion of the festive season, and the fact that no intimation w as forthcom ing did not tend to' satisfy the-anxiety of the troops. The authorities remained reticent, but eventually decided on giving three days’ leave, which was afterwards increased to six, thus allowing practically all to reach their homes for Christmas. How fully this holiday w as appreciated needs no elaboration. A gain the absentee percentage was not great, although before sailing the strength of F Company, which came in a month later than the main portion o f the Reinforcement, was sad ly depleted in order to m ake the numbers up to the required total.

Even at this stage it w as not anticipated that the 33rds would sail until the arrival o f the New Year, but our limit had been reached, and on the last day of the last month of 1917 the good ship T .S . 99 pointed her bows seawards carrying with her M aoriland’ s latest contribution to Britain ’ s fighting forces.

FAHEY’S FIGHTERS.Tf H EARD it quietly told last n ig h t: ii Two well-known policemen had a fight.

W hat brought these naughty “ Johns ” to blows I can assure you no one knows.

One “ John’s ” lip is very thick;The other, he paraded sick.He told the “ D o c ” his neck w as stiff;No word said he about a biff.

Now these two “ Johns ” so hate a light,They dodge each other morn and night.And both have cast aside such fun Till they get up against the Hun.

® URING the voyage we have been privileged to read many new books fresh from the Athenic Press, and for the benefit of our readers we have much pleasure in reviewing several of the most interesting ones. Quite a number of the new editions are of the text-book variety, but a few works of fiction have been very capably

handled by the budding authors on board.

M y E x p e r i e n c e s i n L o n d o n . B y L ie u t. Jack Langridge.T he author covers a very wide field. T he reader is taken

for a ten-days’ leave trip to the teem ing metropolis, and is m ade thoroughly au fait with everything worth while. In the chapters dealing with the “ Glad E y e /’ a kind of war disease affecting the fem inine sex, the author displays a wide knowledge of his subject, as is also the case with the chapter on coffee cocktails. This is one of the most stunning incidents in the book. W e are sorry, however, tha t “An A dventure in the Leicester L o u n g e” was deleted by Censor. A ltogether a charm ing book, not the least interesting feature being the catchy “ Scissors to G rind .”

L o v e , C o u r t s h i p , a n d M a r r i a g e . By Lieut. K. Siddells.This book can hardly be classed as fiction, although the

chapters on “ The W insom e W innies of W anganui ” and “ T he N estling Nancys of N apier ” read m ore like extracts from- the “ Amours of B rigadier G e ra rd ” than the plain recitals of a junior sub. T he author is evidently a fine manly fellow, in fine favour with the genus flapper, and fair readers will, no doubt, find additional interest in the photog raph of the author which adorns the title page. Junior subalterns at sea for the first time will find this book an invaluable guide in all m atters pertain ing to the heart.

E n R o u t e . By Capt. J. C. McKillop.T ravellers by Suez and other routes will have their

im agination fired by the thrilling chapters of this book. A fter a somewhat dull introduction, in which the hero (Mack) discourses on the necessity of secrecy in. the m atter of spots, the inspection of ships, bungalows I have known, and th6 celebration of birthdays, the reader is taken without

delay to a cabaret in ancient Panam a. H ere H arrie tt, one of the m any heroines of the story, is introduced. H arrie tt is a songstress, and Mack, a true son of E rin , is quickly num bered am ongst her many adm irers. Readers will be touched by the gentle pathos of these chapters, the parting with H arrie tt being done in quite the au th o r’s best style. The final scene of the P anam anian act, in which the m ingling of “ Old Glory ” with the “ M eteor F lag ” is celebrated with honours, is absolutely intoxicating, and one can quite understand the stunning influence it had on the gallant com pany present. From Panam a the reader is taken to an A m erican watering-place, where Mack, as usual, figures in many gallant adventures, and the story ends in a m ilitary cam p in the country of Blighty, where M ack slings his “ Bossoverus ” m antle from him and attains his heart’s desire. A ltogether this is a delightful book, although it has its disappointm ents, notably the chapter dealing with the absence of leave (a desirable commodity) at the P ort of Halifax.My L i f e in a H am m o ck . By “ K ew pie.”

A lthough the au thor is desirous of rem aining anonym ous readers will have little difficulty in piercing the veil. This book, which is more in the nature of a biographical sketch than anything else published on board, deals w ith the adventures of “ Kewpie,” a good “ K irk ” m an, in a swinging ham mock. On a quiet evening, with all lights out and the moon obscured, lovers of good litera ture will no doubt find the volume interesting. Personally, we are not interested in ham m ock life, and consequently this book in our opinion is not as good as “ K ew pie’s ” two other efforts, “ N aval Adventures off K aiw arra and Petone ” and “ W hy I W ear a Trench C ap .”

7

T E H U I A

N a t u r e S t u d ie s . By “ Kahawai Jack .”A nother anonymous book. U nlike “ Kewpie,” however,

“ Kahawai J a c k ” is a m an of action, and the book simply teems w ith exciting incident. The narrative of the “ Little W hite R ider of the Beautiful W hite Stallion ” is worthy of Jack London at his best, as is also “ The Pipi K ing ’s Adventure with the Jackpo t.” W e welcome “ K ahaw ai J a c k ” to the arm y of N ature lovers. H ere we have another who goes deep into things. H ere is not the beautiful butterfly skipping daintily from flower to flower, dusting listlessly its legs with sweet-smelling pollen. H ere is the bee, the worker, the searcher after honey. A pparently t£ Kahawai Jack ,” in his life-long scrutiny of N ature, has accumulated much honey. May we soon hear from him again !

L i t t l e W i l l i e a n d O t h e r V e r s e s . By P. M. O.

Lovers of the im m ortal “ Little Jim ” will derive great pleasure from this little book of verse. Like the ill-fated Jam es, Willie was a child of nature. Placed for the first tim e am ongst a crowd of rough men on a troopship Willie, who had the m isfortune to be born in a back-block village, is confronted with m any tem ptations, but, thanks to the noble 'influence of a good sister, he rises above them. Willie does much good am ong the rough men, tending to their w ants and nursing them when -they are sick, and although he has many rebuffs at the hands of the villainous quarterm aster our hero eventually achieves his object. The final scene, in which Willie, having come to the great country of Blighty, is seen descending the gang-plank hand in hand with the good sister, is quite delightful, and readers will derive g reat satisfaction from the im potent rage of the villainous quarterm aster prevented from following by having to rem ain on board on duty. A sweet pretty tale with a good moral.

A t h e n i a n A d v e n t u r e s . By A djutant.Greek scholars will draw a blank in these pages, as the

book deals not w ith Greece or the ancient Athenians, but with the adventures of one Gibbo oh an up-to-date transport. On -the sailing- of the tran spo rt Gibbo,- by virue of much

experience in the famous health resort, T auherenikau, is appointed to a high position, and readers will thrill a t the recital of his m any adventures. In the early stages the book deals w ith the m achinations of the foul fiend “ Crownan- anker, ” which haunts the ship. In em ulation of the im mortal St. George, Gibbo sets out to slay it, aided by a posse of “ peelers,” so designated on account of the peals of laughter caused by the earnestness of their efforts in the playing of the gam e called “ d u ty .” Aided by C linkus (or C link), the terror of all evildoers, Gibbo drives the ogre from the light of day, but his efforts to kill it are unavailing, the beast flourishing m ightily in the bowels of the ship. Finding time hang heavy on his hands, Gibbo invents m any new nursery gam es for the w arriors, which pleases them not. As a resu lt Gibbo falls into disfavour, and his health is not drunk at the celebration of birthdays, nor is he invited to take part in the game of “ A penthejakpot,” a popular am usem ent of the w arriors. Even the good sisters sit not with -him, and Gibbo is distressed. Pathetic in parts, the sto ry .is really in hum orous vein, and experienced w arriors will derive great am usem ent from the reading of it. I t m ight be as well to w arn readers, however, tha t the volume should not be considered a text-book for the guidance of others who follow. This w rite r’s other book, “ R ight H o ,” m ust not be connected with Charles K ingsley’s novel, “ W estward H o! ” although it also deals w ith the sea.

jg V E R hear of W azza battle?How the pellets they did rattle.

Anzacs, Gippos in the fight.Angry scenes were there tha t night.

Get O ’R iordan, Tom , to prattle , "Tom , who deals in H aw ke’s Bay cattle.

H e ’ll describe the bloody sight, Tales tha t one could not re-write.

8

T E H U I A 9The following books were received too late for lengthy

rev iew :H ow I G o t .12 K n o t s O u t o f a n i i - K n o t B o a t . B y

L ie u t. R e v in g to n .

A technical w ork, quite beyond the ordinary laym an. The chapter on “ A V isit to the Engine R o o m ” is rather too “ hot ” to be enjoyable.H ow t o S m ile W h e n D is m a l. B y Lieut. Denne.

An excellent book for beginners, the chapter on cheeriness after vaccination being enough to touch any sister’s heart.

• P a n s y F a c e s . By Lieut. Thorp.T he author, in a series of essays, attem pts to prove tha t

a male can be term ed pretty. W e have nothing to say. C a b a r e t s a n d C o c k t a i l s . By Lieut. Lethbridge.

A v e ry su ita b le b o o k fo r a v e ry cold , .r a w e v e n in g . N ot"

reco m m en d ed fo r in c lu sio n in S u n d a y scho o l lib raries.

B a r k i s is W i l l i n ’ . B y L ie u t. F in la y so n .

W e cannot understand the title., bu t no doubt it is one of F in ’s m any b righ t im possibilities. However, we are still hopeful.M e s s O r d e r l i e s a n d T h e i r T r a i n i n g . B y L ie u t.

W illia m s .

T he author, in an introductory note, states: “ H aving m ustered sheep for m any years on a big station, I claim the righ t to speak with authority 011 the tra in ing of mess orderlies.” Personally, we cannot see the connection, but we take it th a t the author im plies that mess orderlies and sheep have many traits in common. Not having been a mess orderly, we cannot say, but we adm it tha t this book does not come u p to the h igh standard of Mr. W illiam s’s other effort,“ G rum blings from the Galley ; or, How to M ake 32 Sausages Satisfy 41 H ungry M en .”L o v e l y L a s s ie s . By Bob M atch e tt.

Bob’s first book on the suitability of T urk ish D elight as a health food p repared us. for som ething good, and 'w e have not been disappointed. “ Lovely L a ss ie s” is a series of letters, tender and sweet, in which the hero, Bobbie, is always th e central figure. W e m ust adm it th a t the letters bear a s trik ing resem blance to the work of tha t great writer, “ C roz,,r but, unlike the la tte r’s work, which smacks somewhat of inexperience, “ Lovely Lassies ” pulsates with life. If the w riter is giving his- own experiences we congratulate him , and we readily agree w ith “ C roz,” who, in a well- w ritten introduction, states : “ I have no hesitation in placing Bobbie on a h igher pedestal than tha t of the im m ortal Juan. ” R a f t s OR B o a t s ? Essays on the safest conveyance in

the event of shipwreck. By Lieut. McDonald.The w riter draw s a harrow ing picture of a signalling

officer afloat on a raft, w ith no flags to m ake his w hereabouts know n. Perhaps the m ost trying chapter in the book, however, is the loss of the Spearm int gum when the torpedo struck the transport. ’Tis a most shuddersome

.chapter. N ot a very cheerful book. .T h e C u l t o f t h e M o . B y L ie u t. V ic k e rm a n .

After years of experim ents, the au thor has found a recipe. Purchase the book and learn, the art. W e are thankful the book is not illustrated.S p a r B o x in g . W ith a few . Sidelights on the O pening of

Jakpots. B j “ P ad re .”W e m ust confess th a t the author, who has successfully

cloaked his identity, has a good grip of his subject, the chap ter te lling how to win an acepot with a pair of twos being most- entertaining. A very readable book indeed.

Athenic PicturesDaily 10.30 a.m. D aily 10.30 a.m.

UNPARALLELEDATTRACTION

The Management have pleasure in announcing that they have—at enormous cost—secured exclusive film rights of the

m onster “ K eystone” production

“ MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.”“ MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.”

“ MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.”“ MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.”

S T A R R IN G

Capt. JOHN C. MACK as AMBROSECapt. JOHN C, MACK as . AMBROSECapt. JOHN C. MACK as AMBROSECapt. JOHN C. MACK as AMBROSE

A scintillating sparkle of effervescent merriment.

The story centres around the daily inspection of a troopship, and the procession of inspecting officers is 10,000 feet of unadulterated comedy. You laugh in spite of yourself. Cost 1,000,000 dollars to produce. 1,000 soldiers were constantly employed in connection with it for six weeks. A 12,000 ton steamer was chartered, and the scenes are laid

in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.

P R E SS O P IN IO N S .T E H U IA .— Quite a new departure in the w orld of

film com edy. If you don’t laugh w hen Am brose catches a m ess orderly standing easy during inspection yo u ’re not norm al ; consult a specialist. H ila rity reaches its clim ax at A m brose’s birthday celebrations.”

T H E S T A R & H E R A L D , Panam a:— “ A moving picture. T o be precise, a very moving picture.”

Prices as usual. Box Plan at Canteen.NO EARLY DOORS,

F OR twenty-five days we had been a t sea. Twenty-five monotonous days of lectures, physical drill; m usketry, and other stun ts.

Above us always a cloudless sky, around us a heaving m ass of w ater, broken only by the hurrying flights of flying fish, and the slow, m ethodical jum ps of porpoises in shoal.

Where were all those “ tin fish ” we had been specially w arned against? Surely a sailor’s life holds more excitement than the drifting carcass of a gigantic whale or the cleaving fin of a predatory sh a rk ? ̂ W as it any wonder we grum bled? ,Who wouldn’t grouse when the glass daily reg istered a tem perature of 90 and m eal tim es were a nightm are of perspiration, uncooked spuds,- and galley smells? Not even the gory b attles on No. 4 hatch were sufficient to shake off the feeling of ennui after our first fortn ight on board. But like all things monotony cannot long remain unbroken, and those of us who were early afoot on the morning of the 24th realised this when a d istan t flicker from a lone lighthouse

-told us of the nearness of the first of the m ilestones th a t m ark the long long trail from the new to the older world.

Panam a— the first of the m ilestones. W hat a nam e to conjure w ith! P anam a and Columbus. Panam a and M organ. Panam a, once the rendezvous of Spanish Dons and of bloody pirates. P anam a, the outer g a te of 15th century civilisation, the m ost luxurious city of the new world of

the E lizabethan age, the age of chivalry and doughty enterprise. All day we rem ained on deck, for who cared to' m iss a single picture of the wonderful film now being unreeled? Tropical islands, strange, queer-shaped w ater-fow l, the inevitable porpoise, and, m ost in teresting of all, the ships of other nations.. Deeply we drank our fill of the wonderful kaleidoscope, and our feelings long pent found vent in a lusty cheer when a dapper little launch raced sm artly alongside and discharged on to our sw inging ladder a port au thority clad in the white uniform of the Am erican Navy. A t times like these soldiers are apt to fo rget the existence of sick parades, the grouch against the platoon sergean t is w ashed out, and, after all, even the officer isn’t half a bad sort when he is willing and anxious to hand over his new prismatic glasses. The first glimpse of the g rea t continent left the New Zealander at sea for the first time agape with wonder, realisation that New Zealand, Christchurch, W ellington, and the glorious W aitem ata were not the beginning and end of all things came home with staggering force.

Balboa, and re st a t last. A fter twenty-five days of the aptly-nam ed bu t monotonous Pacific we were tied up a t the m ost m odern of w harves. Wharves built ̂on shingle once grooved by fnany a thrifty Spanish keel— w harves of concrete and of steel quite beyond the descriptive powers of this w riter— wharves crowded with all the m odern inventions of

10

m an to expedite, the working of ships th a t link up the old world with the new. It is not the purpose of this article to describe the city or its environs.

A PPR O A C H IN G CULEBRA CU T.

Abler pens have long since covered every phase ofil, bu t few w riters have been privileged to write about or feel the w arm th of the welcome extended- to New Z ealand’-s sons by the guardians of the m ost wonderful engineering fea t of m odern tim es— the Panam a Canal. Clad in uniforms combining utility, n eatness, and com fort, our American soldier cousins vied with each other in the heartiness of their welcome. Pockets were emptied, hats were stripped, 'buttons parted company with tunics, and all went to form the shower of missiles that fell like hail on decKS crowded with Fernleaf’s sons scrambling

' like children at a Sunday school treat for souvenirs. In turn, New Zealand pugarees found new owners,

SAMM IES A T G A TU N.

buttons of brass embossed with N.Z. Forces soon garnished the tunic shirts of the “ Sammies,” kitbags were ransacked, and soon we had naught else to give but our cheers, and these we gave unsparingly.

Then came the bands with “ God Save the K in g ” — ‘‘ S am m ies’5 standing to a tten tion as to the m anner born— “ The S tar Spangled B anner,” with cheers for “ Old Glory,” and a t la s t “ Auld Lang Syne.” Who then would have dared to doubt the earnestness of America in this g rea t fight? W here was the m an who> was not thrilled a t the thought of the two g rea t English-speaking peoples standing side by side in this g rea t hour of tria l, and who am ongst us did not feel humbled and deeply thankful for the g rea t privilege of seeing with our own eyes the unification of, all th a t stands for God and right in the fight against the rem orseless greed and cruelty of Kultur and m ight?

The m orning found all van tage points crowded with b reakfastless soldiers. Who had thoughts' of b reak fast when outside all the wonders of the g rea t canal were being unfolded ?

F irst, the Miraflores Locks— wonderful monum ents to the ingenuity of man. Then the Pedro Miguel—each with its cheering band of fC Sam mies ” and the inevitable shower of coins, c igare ttes , badges, and buttons. The Culebra Cut— the g rea te s t obstacle in the fulfilment of all the plans and dream s of the g rea t Colonel Goethals, its banks green with the deep rich tones of the tropical foliage. And then Gatun, the las t of the locks. H ere it was th a t the heartiness and w arm th of our welcome reached a pitch beyond even the wildest dream s of Balboa. Here were the first signs of p reparation for our coming. A regim ent draw n up on parade, a-full m ilitary band, ladies and children, and in the background the dusky skinned sons and daughters of Ham , white teeth glistening in their broad, happy smiles of w elcom e’’

But why try to describe it all ? The task is quite beyond me.

Ah! Gatun. I wonder if you realised how full were our hearts as we' steam ed out after our one g rea t hour with you ? • I wonder if you realised how humbled we were, and, yes, I wonder if you realised how we loved you?

As I write we are in the A tlantic, bu t a day ’s sail from a g rea t Am erican port, and memories of our trip through the canal are chasing through my brain i:i a wild jum ble of thankfulness, g ladness, am azem ent, wonder, and love. I have tried to chronicle the events after leaving G atun, bu t, apart from our brief s tay a t Colon, and the wonderful coaling fea t of -200 tons in twelve m inutes, I cannot think consecutively. Here in the Gulf of Mexico, as I gaze through the lounge ports, I can see the rep resen ta tive of the g rea t Am erican Navy steam ing proudly ahead, fully conscious of her responsibility in the guarding of New Zealand’s la te s t reinforcem ent, and the prayer th a t bubbles up from my h ea rt i s : May God in His goodness never let us fo rget the day when America, in our day of tria l, ranged herself on the side of the Allies to ensure the perm anent peace of the whole world.

B i

I I

A CHILD is seldom satisfied. Give it honey, and it cries for jam . How like children are soldiers. In the Pacific when the g lass daily

reg istered a tem peratu re of 90 deg. we grum bled, cursed the heat, and pictured the N orth Pole as the m ost desirable of sum m er resorts. We were not satisfied with the tropical w arm th. We w anted a change, and suddenly we got it with a vengeance. H ardly had we said good-bye to' the canal and long before we had even contem plated the discarding of shorts or the donning of heavy underw ear we struck the ice. At eleven o’clock on the evening of the 31st of January the decks were covered with sleeping men. I t was too hot to sleep below. Four hours la ter, every ham m ock below had its occupant, for summer had turned suddenly to- w inter, turned so suddenly that" daylight saw a thousand arm s groping blindly in k itbags for those w arm -knitted socks sent on board a t the las t m om ent by Her. We didn’t expect to' w ear those socks before Blighty; in fac t, we were keeping them for our first spell in the trenches, but sentim ent went by the board when the nip of th a t ice-cold wind struck us on th a t grey February morning. For obvious reasons it cannot be chronicled here ju s t where we struck the ice field, but w hat m atters it w hether you strike it off the coast of Greenland or use it in your m idday cocktail, ice is always ice and it is always cold. No need to tell how we travellers fresh from the tropics felt. Like the fam ous American nigger, Mose, we ju s t friz, and friz, and friz, and our circulations, so active bu t a week before, w ent right out of business, until se t righ t by a long tram p ashore. During one whole day we pushed our way through* an alm ost solid sheet of ice, and when a t la s t we dropped anchor in a very fam ous port even the w ater in our bedroom carafes was frozen solid. Two

.days ashore, however, and the w arm th of our welcome more than com pensated for the ruby pro- bosces, the wheezy chests, and the inevitable flu. We had the time of our lives in th a t seaport town, and somehow it will always be impossible for us to fo rget our cousins, whose p reparation for entering this world strugg le was the m ost am azing thing we ■ had yet seen. Could all the m others, sisters, wives, and Sw eethearts whose loving thoughts were with us from the time we steam ed out through the Pencarrow H eads have sensed the w arm th of the hospitality shown at the Presbyterian Church that afternoon or a t the H ospitality House in the evening, their feelings would have been as deep as was our appreciation of w hat all women are now doing. Those women whose own men had gone and were croing, vied with each other in their efforts to make

us feel a t home, and evidence of the fac t th a t they succeeded was forthcom ing when alm ost every m an who had sung the old choruses in the church th a t afternoon turned up a t the evening function.

Of our subsequent voyaging little need be said. It is impossible to ge t much inspiration from an ice- coated sea, when the g lass reg isters 16 deg. below freezing point, and a great-c ity cannot furnish much copy when seen from a d istance of several miles. It would be possible to pain t a grim picture of w hat we saw a t another port, recently 'sorely stricken, but the new spapers have already covered'everj? detail of th a t d isaster, so- there rem ains nothings .but the storm . No m atte r w hat the trenches hold in store, few of us will ever fo rget the 18th of February , when a cold, bleak day was turned suddenly into a howling wilderness of shrieking devils, m ountainous seas, and stinging show ers of w ind-tossed spray.

.Every movable thing w ent by the board, sea after sea sw ept us from stem to ste rn , and the grand climax w as reached when a g igantic wall of w ater tossed the forw ard booby hatch aside like th istledown before the breeze and sw am ped the sleeping

" W E STRUCK AN IC EFIELD .”

quarters of two companies. For twelve long weary hours we were hove to tak ing buffet a fte r buffet, but we had a s tou t ship, a splendid captain , fine officers, and a good crew, and the m orning found us in the sam e old place, b a tte red and bruised, but doing business as usual. W ith B lighty bu t a day ’s sail away and our long and som ew hat monotonous trip alm ost ended, it can be tru thfully said th a t the storm was the only unpleasan t incident of the voy- a g e ; w e’ve had a g rea t time ; w e’ve seen many lands and strange sigh ts, and w e’ve been the happiest of families. May our luck be the luck of our com rades who follow after.

12

THE FINAL STAGES.By Wo J, R* JHL

THIS is not my story, I am thankful to say.

Just the lament of a common ordinary Platoon Sergeant. * He is met these times

m ost everywhere. We hear of subalterns galore and captains; even of corporals; but of the like of poor Bill the Sergeant nobody worries about him, nobody cares.

It is written that the w ay of the transgressor is hard— Bill must be a great sufferer. H e told me a little about him self the other day. Mind you, Bill w as not grousing— he never does— but this is what Bill s a id :—

ff The likes of me are the goats for everybody and everything. Everybody hates us. The only thing we get ungrudgingly is blame. We are expected to get up before reveille and to call everybody e ls e ' without anyone to call us. We are expected to stand by until lights out, and then to go to bed in the dark. A sergeant must not have a glim after 1 the bugle; it would be a breach of discipline. He m ust be on parade half an hour before anyone else. He m ust think of leave for others; never any leave for us. Our duty is to our platoons. Of course we have platoon commanders, but what are we for if the officer has to do the w ork? ”

And Bill sat quite a moment filling his pipe. He held a m atch nervously in his fingers and continued

“ We are frowned on by the O.G. ju st as a m atter of course. We are paid less than a bad officer, and all that anyone expects o f us is that we shall have alw ays on hand a flow of brilliant ideas suitable for any em ergency. We must be letter perfect in our work. We m ust be able to instruct, to command, to craw l, and to creep. The Staff ^Officer m ay be . an exp ert in one branch of m ilitary work— the likes of me are expected to be experts in all branches. One minute we are exactin g torture on our platoons in the shape of physical jerks ; the next we find our

selves in the role of m usketry instructors, and again we are infantry instructors, not forgetting bayonet experts. Just in between times we are expected to have a sm attering of signalling, m ilitary law , sanitation, and no doubt ethics and psychology will be added.”

A gain he paused— this time he lit his pipe and •appeared more satisfied. Then he said:—

“ The likes of me must hear all the pet schemes of every officer. He comes along with some little stunt. He orders that the company must be harassed accordingly. We have to do the dirty work. We have to take the little pet and dress and serve it up for company consumption. If it grates on the men we are blasted by the officer ; if it doesn’ t we are still blasted. If words could kill w e ’d have been dead long ago. We sometimes try to pass on the blasts, but it rarely succeeds. W e must listen to all the joys and woes of every man in the platoon.

> We know when ’Enery w as married. We must sym pathise when the baby has croup— and then when auntie or mother-in-law is dead we must weep. We have to listen to the cow-cockie describing the beauties of his c Straw berry ’ and to the sm art youth describing his m ythical ‘ L izzie .’ Do you wonder our brows are gettin g lined and our hair growing thin or silvery ?. ”

Bill seemed much better— he smiled and continued :—

“ Y es, of course, a man doesn’ t have to be a sergeant, I know all that. But then w hat is the Arm y to do without them ? Somebody has to be unhappy, and, well, I always did have bad1 luck. A nd then the patriotic part has to be considered. We have our duty to our country, so I guess I shall stick it— I ’d miss the blasts if I were out of it. ”

Such w as Bill’ s lament. As I said, Bill w as riot grousing— he never does. Rather he w as in a happy mood— for Bill. He is so conscientious is Bill.

14 T E H U I A

OW it came to pass upon the last day of the year 1917 that there sailed from New Z ealand a ship, and the name thereof w as the

Ah-the-nik. And, behold, there dwelt upon, and within the bowels of, the aforesaid ship sundry cohorts of soldiers with their centurions and under- officers even unto the number of seventy times seven, yea, verily, twice over and then some more, for the ship was of an exceeding great size, and men marvelled much at her vastness.

Now to feed the multitudes there were numerous purveyors of foodstuffs, known as Kwar-ta-m as- tahs, and the chief thereof w as called Phin-le-suhn, and next to him was one Rhe-jee-men-tahl, also known as Hah-le-ghan. And these spake unto those under them, saying, “ H asten now, prepare food for the troops, for they have come from afar, and are faint and fasting. Begone, jump to it! ” And they prepared savoury m eats, and gave them to e a t* and be of good cheer. And they ate and drank and were merry, as is the custom o f warriors.

But the wind blew, and the ship did pitch without and within, and many of the soldiers were sore smitten with a grievous sickness, and their bowels did curl up and melt within them, to be cast.forth upon, the face of the troubled w aters. Y ea, verily, my oath! And the day brake and the stewards, yea, even the mess orderlies,- cried unto them with a great voice, “ Scoff oh,” and desired them to eat, drink, and be merry.

But they turned their faces from the stew ards, for their appetites were not. And the morning and the evening were the second day. But upon the third day the wind abated, and the sea grew calm, and their sickness departed from them, and they ate and drank and were merry. And upon the fourth day they arose early, even at cockcrow, and girded up their loins and drilled upon the deck.

Now Mah-kil-lop, the chief centurion, w as wise in

his generation, and he gave orders that the soldiers do “ Fiz-zik-kal-Jhur-kz ” before that they ate and drank. “ F o r,” said he, “ .the work w ill buck them up.”

And behold, when they had eaten their fill, they came again upon deck, and held up their heads and pushed out their chests, even as young giants refreshed with corn and strong wine, and so passed many days.

Now it came into the mind o f Rhe-jee-men-tahl, whom men also called Hah-le-ghan, that the men deserved well of him, and he spake unto the purveyors of food, yea, even unto the cooks, saying, “ H earken now, and heed. See to it that ye serve out f Duph ’ unto the soldiers at the middle of the d ay .”

And they answered him and said, “ R ighto ,” which, being interpreted, means “ B etcherlife.”

Now they girded up their loins, and took unto themselves many measures of flour and o f cement, o f suet, and of chewing-gum , of raisins and of barbed wire, of currants and of peanut-shells, of treacle and of w ashing soda, and divers other things. And they made much “ D uph.”

And when the sun w as on high, even in the middle of the day, they carried the “ D u p h ” unto the soldiers, and desired them to partake of it. And when' they would fain have partaken of it, lo, it would not break. Whereupon • they communed among them selves, saying, “ H ellity-dam n,” which means, in our language, “ Tare-an’ -ages.” A n d none knew what to m ake of it.

Now there dwelt upon the ship one Rua, a prophet, who had lived many days in that part which men call “ Ivul-jnkh.”

And they bore the “ D u p h ” unto him, crying, “ Greeting, 0 Prophet! We desire thine aid.” But he gazed upon them askance, saying, “ Go t o ; I know ye not.”

T E H U I A 15Yet they pleaded with him, and lo, his heart was

softened, and he turned his face upon them , saying, “ W hat w ould’st th o u ? ” A nd . they showed him the “ D uph.”

Now Rua m ade to break it asunder, but it brake not, whereupon he raised it on high and cast it down upon the deck with all his m ight and streng th , m eaning to sh a tte r it.

But it rose up again from off the deck and smote Rua under the chin, and well-nigh broke his neck.

Now the soul of Rua was filled with w rath , and he seized the “ D u p h ” and cast it fa r from him, over the side of the vessel into the sea, crying aloud, “ R eturn a fter m any d ay s .” And behold, it sank and w as not.

Now it came to pass th a t H ah-le-ghan beheld Rua cast the “ Duph ” overboard, and his heart was filled with anger against him, and he said, “ W herefore dost thou cast good prog into the sea? ” And Rua, answ ering him, said, “ Go to ,” which also m eans “ S tay th e re .” Whereupon Hah-le-ghan took the pot of Rua and put it on.

U nder the auspices of the Y.M.C.A., Sergt. Crosby, of E Company, has delivered a series of historical lectures, which were given weekly during the voyage.- Sergt. Crosbie has also conducted classes in French conversation, his pupils being all beginners. Sergt.-M ajor Adam s, of D Company, has had in hand students of a more advanced type. The former class had a membership of th irty and the latter an attendance of fourteen.

A bout seventy soldiers joined the Bible Class, which met every available evening on the stern deck. The study circle m ethod was adopted, and was used with much success.

Mr. Sydney Peck, of the Y.M.C.A., has accompanied us on our journey to the Hom eland. P laced on board at the eleventh hour as the representative of the Red T riangle and those denominations coming under the heading of U nited Institutes, our friend has m ade him self very popular with the men. Large though his field of work-has been, it is always his endeavour to assist in anything having for its object the entertainm ent of our soldier lads. He has w riting m aterial and reading m atter, which in tru ly “ Y.M.” fashion is distributed liberally on all sides. H is gramophone has proved a source of amusement and pleasure to m any, especially hospital inmates. We look on Y.M.C.A. quarters as our inquiry bureau. Mr. Peck has m ade out our wills, he has prepared powers of attorney, he has watched our spare cash. Probably more than anything else has Mr. Peck and his popular \ organisation succeeded in m aking cheerful our few weeks aboard *T.S. 99.

Some idea of the gigantic cost of the war m ay be gained from a perusal o f . the follow ing list of articles required on board this troopship for consumption by troops on board : Fresh meat, 200,000 lb.; fish, 20,000 lb.; m ilk, 500 gal.; eggs, 10,000; bacon and ham, 8,000 lb.; ship’s bread, 30 cw t.; coffee, 30 cwt.; cheese, 35 cw t.; flour, 1,033 cw t.; jam , 85 cwt.; syrup, 40 c w t; tea, 20 cw t; sugar, 350 c w t; peas and beans, 116 c w t; dried fruit, 46 cw t.; butter, 8 tons.

There was recently prom oted within the ranks of the Medical Corps a. “ Five H u n d re d ” T ournam ent There were thirty-tw o participants, and two rounds were p layed before the semi-final and final stages were reached. In the semi-final matches Ptes. W ebb and R. G. Graham and T ate and Dempsey proved the victors. In the p lay off honors went to W ebb and Tate.S H IP ’S BUGLER.

BEFORE a New Zealand soldier can m arry in E ngland leave m ust first be obtained from the General Commanding in London. P rivate

H enare Tikitere, anxious to become a benedict, m ade application in person, and the following conversation took place-:—

G eneral: Why don’t you w ait until you retu rn to N.Z. and marry one of your own race, H enare?

H enare: Oh, I m arry this English girl.General: But think w hat will happen when you

take her back to N.Z. and to your Pah.H e n a re : Oh, I not ever go back to New Zea

land. H er m other keepit te pub.

Sergeant Billcox, of A Company, w hilst in T rentham , was handling some recruits, and in order to instil into them the necessity of keeping step, was carrying out the habit of m ost N .C .O .’s and yelling, “ L eft! R ight! L eft! R ight! L eft! R ig h t! ” A budding T aranak i General, ju s t off the turnips, hopped out of the ranks and' rem arked to the astonished Billcox: “ Look! I ’m going to no plurry wa.r with you. You don’t know your own mind tw o m inutes.”

A R eturned Soldier, who had been successfully sw inging the lead, w as enjoying the result of his labours in his own town and indulging in riotous living when, on entering a pub one day, he was m et by His venerable fa ther, who had ju s t been quenching his th irst. The fa ther, in forcible language, upbraided the returned one, finishing a lengthy harangue with the w ords: “ Look ’ere, my boy. This is no good to me, you know. We can’t burn the candle a t both ends.” “ Well, w h a t’s

wrong with blowing out your end, D a d ? ” replied the ex-fighting man.

* * • * *When the first New Zealand wounded cam e to

London hospitals leave was not always g ran ted without reasons being given. One of our pioneers, H enare, finding himself convalescent, applied for a fo rtn igh t’s leave. The paper w as retu rned to him with the request th a t he give the reason why he w anted the leave. Henore replied: “ To visit my relations in Scotland.”

-x- * * *O’G rady: Me shoulder’s very sore, sergean t.S erg ean t: W hat’s the m atte r, B arney?O’G rady: I t ’s me rifle, se rg e a n t; if she kicks so

much when I ’m shootin’ on the 25-yard range, what the divil will she do' when w e’re on the 600?

* * * *Popular, though ste rn was he—Taylor, Jock, the “ C .,” O.C.

How he loved to take a reef,In a so ld ier’s weekly “ le a f .”

And now th a t we are fa r a t sea,How can our Jock happy be?

-x- *■ -X- -X-P a tie n t: Tell me, sister, is this drink easy to take?S is te r : Why, of course, th a t concoction is recom

m ended by all the crowned heads— the half-crown heads, and the eighteenpenny ones. I t ’s drunk by kings, queens, and aces. W as she thinking of* ‘ Any more for an}? more ? ’ ’

-x- * * • * *The scene was a club room in New Y ork,-and the

young m an who had ju s t returned from France was

i6

T E H U I Abeing bom barded with questions as to his experiences a t . th e front. “ W ere you ever in danger, Jack ? ” w as one question. “ D anger! Well, I ju st guess I w a s .” “ Ever hear any bullets in the t re n c h e s ? ” “ Bullets! Well, I guess I d id .” “ How many, J a c k ? ” “ How m any? Well, I heard one once; heard it twice to be co rrec t.” “ How did you come to hear it twice? ” was the next question.

W ell,” was the reply, “ I heard it once when it passed me and once when I passed i t .”

* * * * •I t is said th a t the men of the 331'ds sleep in ham

mocks to take up the least room in the ship, bu t it could be pointed ou t th a t a sailor takes up much less room when he goes to sleep in his w atch.

The platoon w as practising passing of orders. The day was warm and the men correspondingly sleepy. A perspiring se rgean t w ent to the end of the line and gave the following m essage to be passed dow n: “ O.C. troops seen leading patro l of nursing sis ters tow ards No. 1 troop deck a t 11 a .m .” “ Well, Brown,” inquired the sergeant when the m essage reached the m an a t the other flank, “ w hat m essage did you rece iv e?” “ The m essage I got, se rg e a n t,” grinned Brown, “ w as: ‘ O.C. troops seen nursing sis ter No. 1 troop deck a t 11 p .m .’ ”

* ■ * * *

An airm an had a m ascot hen To bring him luck while flying.

One day she tum bled overboard And landed, bruised and dying.

H e stopped his bus, vol planed down,Arrived a little la te r ;

But never found his m ascot hen,Because an av ia to r!

* * * *

Cpl. Bishop: I ’m s'moking a terrible lot of cigars lately .

Cpl. W ard (with conviction) : You’re right there, “ B ish .,” if th a t ’s one of them.

* * * *In order to have eggs for his b reak fast, the wily

se rgean t-m ajor of A Company is reported to have approached the captain with the request th a t he order the ship to 1-ay-to, so th a t he m ight have one.

* * * *

W hen Nine P latoon goes out to drill,They’re handled well by th ree-stripe B ill.. P a r t of his nam e I ’ll m ake you guess.All th a t I ’ll give is Leonard S.Upon his lip nothing will sprout.Does his m other know he’s out?

* * * *

S u b .: Have you dubbined your boots this m orning?. P r iv a te : No.

Sub. : No, w hat?P riv a te : No dubbin.

R.Q.M.S. HALLIGAN.

“ If th e re ’s any .more noise I will stop the fight and give no decision.”

A CANTEEN DITTY,T here’s a d ry canteen at the top of the hold , W here M cDonald bosses his little fold.H e watches the stores‘and collects the go ld— (A nd chews away the profits),

17

c

FIRST call a t local defence office and enlist. Your nam e will look nice in the evening paper, and your wife will probably be quite pleased

with you.On reaching camp go direct to the A dju tan t and

make yourself known to him. Be nice and friendly. Make some am using rem ark, such as : fC’Ow are you, old cock? W hat about a sp o t? 55 I f he. appears embarrassed, take no notice, just sit down on his desk and let him see you are determined to be pally with him.

Always try to improve on the Army manual. Some day when you meet an officer of field rank salute him with both hands.This will be a distinct novelty to him, and no doubt he will be quite pleased with you.

If your officer admonishes you at any time it will be distinctly to your disadvantage if you salute him when next you meet him. Remember he may still be angry with you and not want to speak.

If by chance an order is given for whijch you see

no reason courteously bu t firmly ask the officer for further details and explanations. I t may happen th a t there was no reason for the command.

If anyone approaches your post when you are on sentry du ty , place your rifle on the ground and say as pleasantly as possible, “ Who is i t ? ” If the person cannot produce a visiting card and you think he is try ing to deceive you show him that you know your job and th a t you are not to be trifled with. Speak quite sharply to him.

If you should be awake in your hutm ent la te some night rem em ber there m ay be some other weary or homesick com rades in your company. To cheer them up begin singing in a clear, sw eet voice, “ A W ee Deoch an D o ris” or "T ipperary .” They are all certain to join in a chorus, and your lonely feeling will soon depart.

Don’t wait for an invitation to call from your O.C. Drop in and see him any evening. He m ay be ju s t longing for a friendly word.

Should you m eet an officer w ith a p re tty girl step right up to be introduced. He will be delighted with th is.atten tion to his friend. Do not, however, detain them more than an hour or two. Remember there are other men in the company he will be anxious to have

her meet.If you feel your com

pany commander is lacking in a few minor respects, talk it over with him in a patient, sympathetic manner. If you think he is in trouble tell him your purse is at his dis posal. H e will be touched' at your thoughtfulness.

W hen you notice that your quickness and natural ability are placing you ahead of your comrades, explain your good qualities to them, and then point out all their defects. This should be done in public, so tha t you cannot be accused of favouritism. While you are in the

hospital subscribe to Snowy Baker’s “ Boxing by Post Course.” It may come in handy next time.

When you have completed your train ing , and final leave has been gran ted you, don’t be foolish and come back to time. Why should you catch the boat, when you know others will follow a t certain intervals ? Besides, you never know w hat your luck will be a t the races. You may strike the double.

When a t la s t you decide to' sail, always include a crown and anchor outfit in your kit. You m ay be short of money a t tim es, bu t you never need be if you know the gam e. Besides, the A d ju tan t of the ship will be disappointed if you don’t give his police something to do.

And, lastly , don’t fo rget to growl. Remember, everyone will be disappointed if you don’t grum ble a t everything.

i 8

WHEN YOU JOIN URHINTS FOR SECOND D IV ISIO N .

By ,W. I. R. H.

“ MARCONI.”

T E K TLT I .A. I 9

MEDICAL HISTORY SHEET.As all the inform ation on this sheet is unnecessary

care should be taken to answ er the questions correctly.

1. Name ..........................................................................2. A ddress . ................................................................

. 3. Why did you m arry? ....................................... ......4. Is th a t, the only reason? ....................................5. Give address of your lady friend i ......... ..........6. Do' you know any other addresses? .................7. S ta te height, w eight, and chest m easurem ent

la s t C hristm as .................................... ................................8. Explain reason why you were born .................9. W here were you la s t n ight? ...................... .'.......

10. Is th a t the correct answ er? ...............................11. W hat is the correct answ er ? ...........................

.......................................................................... Thank you.12. Would you like a commission? ...........................13. Give nam es of Staff officers you object to ...14. Do you require more than Service p a y ? ...........15. How m uch? .............................................................16. W hat do you think of the K aiser? ......................17. Is th a t all? ............................................................18. H ave you ever committed suicide? ....................19. Why no t? .................................................................20. Are you sure you have kep t nothing b ack ? ...

Sign here ....................................The answ ers m ust be sw orn a t by a justice of the

peace and the sheet sen t to the General Records Office, where it will probably be lost. If the G eneral Commanding owes you any money telegraph the answ ers to him collect.

MY FRIEND*

SOME friends prove true through life, but these are few.

I have a friend who always has been true; Always the sam e, in sunshine or in storm ,Comfort and solace brings when I ’m forlorn.My friend has journeyed with me far and wide,Ii: d is tan t lands, across the restless tide.But now I ’m thinking th a t the time is rip>e To tell you my true friend ” is my old pipe.In W inter’s evening gloom, or Sum m er’s sun;In early morn, or when d ay ’s toil is done;On foreign shores, or* out upon the sea,My pipe has been a real good friend to me.When long n igh ts come, sure, then ’tis my delight To draw my chair close to the fireside b right,To. light my pipe, and ’mid its soothing haze Tc sit and dream my dream s of o ther days.Old age, w ith all its care, will soon be here.With my old pipe, old age I shall not fear.And if, beyond the tom b, a choice is given,My pipe— in p re fe re n ce to a h arp — in h eaven .

W ellin g to n , N.Z. WILLIAM T . T a r r y .

A Sergeant and a Policemano

(^ER G E A N T EDWARDS a lesson told He spoke of respect to superiors due,To all the police, brave men and bold.

And was landed for the C.O. to view.

He gave his evidence in m anner born,And trod right on the policem an’s corn.His w rath w axed high, his words were strong, But the C.O. concluded th a t he was wrong.

And now the se rg ea n t’s a penitent m an,Who avoids all trouble if he can.He eschews the police, he dislikes the force, ’Tis t r u e ! he’s no other course.

CAPT. J. W. LANGRIDGE, TRAINING OFFICER. AN ORIGINAL ANZAC,

Cl

I F it be allowed to begin an article on the music of the ship without quoting, “ Music hath charm s to soothe the savage b re a s t,” and re

m arking th a t Shakespeare wrote it— which he did not— our account of the R einforcem ent’s excursion into this, at first sight, unm ilitary field will beg in with the concert given by the Pierrot party.

We had reached the Saturday of our first week at sea, SO' much busied with the hundred and two details incidental to the startlingly new conditions of a floating camp, th a t we had overlooked the necessity of doing som ething to soothe the homesick (ra ther than savage) b reasts of our heroes-to-be. A com m ittee was form ed of Surgeon Max, the Padre (Chaplain-Capt. M urphy), Mr. Peck (Y.M.C.A. Field S ecre tary ), 2nd Lieut. Hawke, C.S.M. Girdle- stone, C.S.M. Adam s, and Sergt. Tucker. The com m ittee im m ediately announced a concert for the following W ednesday, and vocalists and instrum enta lists were sought throughout all the companies.

T h e P i e r r o t P a r t y .By W ednesday morning a P ierrot party of twelve

singers and an orchestra of six players were completed, and 6.30 p.m. found them assem bled and donning quite wonderful “ creations,” as they could be called quite justly , for the costumes, once pyjam a suits, h ad been effectually transform ed, and so titti- v a ted .b y the skilful hands of our ingenious lady- passengers—with Mrs. Hanley as O.C. costum es— th a t few of the officers m ust have been able to recognise their own garm ents.

The “ o rc h e s tra ” consisted of two ̂ violins, two m andolins, one ’cello, and one piano. I t opened the a ttack in each p art of the program m e with a selection which, being not excessively classical, was cordially approved. The program m e consisted of solos, varied by choruses, part-songs, and monologues— to say nothing of the sketch, in which the cats and dogs (alias, the senior se rgean ts) of B Company anticipated the usual hour of their vocal dem onstrations. The P ierro ts excelled them selves in the “ Soldiers’ C horus” from Faust, which would have had to be repeated had not the C.O., instigated by the Purser, announced an interval for fresh air ( ?).

I t is a rare thing for one concert party to contain two' monologuists of the calibre of Mr. Peck and Private D evereux : both were enthusiastically encored.

But the g rea t fea tu re of the entertainm ent was the contribution m ade by the Maori party . Their plaintive rendering of the som ew hat dirgeful “ Message ” was much en jo y ed ; but the audience went even m adder than the Maoris them selves over the

haka. This, was the event of the evening. Even more so, if possible, did it appeal to the whole ship’s company, when the sam e program m e— except the caterwauling scene, the perpetrators of which apparently feared a volley from the “ spud-deck ” — was given to the Reinforcement on No. 4 hatch.

Im p r o m p t u C o n c e r t s .Since th a t entertainm ent, more or less im prom ptu

concerts have been given every second evening, alternating with sports events. Except for an initial hesitancy on the part of singers to volunteer these concerts have worked out very successfully. On the 21st of January there was a comic-song competition, in which six participated . The prize of one guinea was won by Cpl. H odgkinson, of E Company. Sergt. Peattie (B Company) and Sergt. G. Tucker (E Company) were the runners-up with Limericks, whose topical allusions, being all in good humour and good taste, caused universal merriment.

66 THE DAY n AND “ A T

^ jp 7 H E B ISH O P, supported by the D E A N , deli- Jl v.ered him self of the follow ing G RA V E

address: “ For years the JE R M Y N has schemed for the DAY. So K E E N was he, so E A G E R for the spoils, that, casting aside all sense of W R IG H T , K N O T T even try ing to CLO A K his deeds by a ST O R E Y , he set his G U N N and F O O T E to conquer the world. A nd L O W , leaving H O L L A N D , like a H A W K E he swooped and laid waste the G R E E N pastures of FR A N C E,

“ The dain ty P R IM R O S E on the B A N K S, the BRO W N F IE L D S of corn, the H A R D Y W O O D S were tram pled under the B R O A D F O O T of the JE R M Y N soldiers. On. their WAY, S H A R P E and terrible as a B L IZ Z A R D , rushed these hordes of a m ad KING. Then B R IT T A IN awakened, and her sons the S C O T T , the F A R M E R , the P O R T E R , the C A R T E R , the B R E W E R , the CA R R driver, the M A R SH A LL, and men from m any M O O R E stations in life unknown flocked to the FLA G G . It is D U N N E .

“ Brave deeds tha t men tried to H Y D E won the DAY. It. is now history how we m anaged by Q U IC K action to W A R D off the JE R M Y N advance, and G R A N T by the assistance o f the T h irty -T h ird Reinforcem ent th a t we MAY be able to crush for ever this domineering, bombastic JE R M Y N nation.” .

A. E. G ib b o n s . A /33.

MUSIC ON BOARD.

20

T E _E~I TJ I jPl

A R E M A R K A B L E event took place near the river M U RRA Y in the County of York.

W hile walking down a L A N E the other DAY a lady A N D -ER -SO N met a M A R SH A L L of the district of W H IT T E Y , who informed them in a loud V O Y C E that a lion was M ISSEN . His appearance was un-K EM P-t, as he . was im -M EN CE-ly excited. The lady exclaimed, “ Good L O R D ,” we shall have to ring the B E L L and W A R N E R the public. Lord F IT Z M A U R IC E offered a reward of £50 S T IR L IN G for the capture of the escaped animal.This was added to by a 100 H A N N A S from Lord L O N S D A L E .

Advertisem ents were inserted in L L O Y D ’S Register and B A TES Journal.The famous detective K E E B L E was in charge of the hunting party, and he at once searched for C L E W E S . H e was assisted by the CLA RK of the local H unt Club, who gathered all the B R O N C H O S together. These were distributed among the brave searchers, who were all armed. The sons of these gentlem en each had a large piece of C O LE.

There was the son of F E R G U S , the son G IL B E R T , the son of E L L IS , the son of PA R K IN , Jack’s son M O R R ISO N , JO H N SON and T H O R N S O N The local conscripts came to assist in bringing their V IC K (ERS). This party was in charge of G R O TTY of riding trouser fame, who gave up his position to an old warrior named BEN SEM A N N , who had had great experience in shooting Samoan pigs. T he noble Q U IN T O N was one of these heroes, and he assisted by squinting ahead for the target. A sailors’ brigade, which gave great help, was in charge of Sinbad W A R D EN , with long T E L F E R as a pull through, who would have been better at home as a lamp post. The Scotch element was in great strength. There were M cKAYS, M cRA E,M CDONALDS, M cD O U G A L L S, and CAM ERONS. They were all in full H ighland dress.

The detective’s discoveries made it plain that the lion had fled to H A R W O O D , but he could not be found.

Lord L O N S D A L E ’S SH E P P A R D , who had come in with his flock, reported seeing the animal heading for IN W O O D . Again the search failed. A party explored the O A K SD E N without success. T U C K E R was supplied to all who volunteered to W A D E across L U D S-B R O O K , where there were H E D G E S of M A N U K A . T he lion was seen in the H E D G E , and a JE L L Y M A N spread his W EBB around it. .W IN T E R was on, but the animal had secured small R O E -B U C K , and had brought a C A FF-IN . There were also numerous B E R R IE S .

The V IC K -E R S crew now set to work and bomlbarded the hedge for several minutes. The party then began A -B EA TO N round the place, and the lion was found R ID D E L L -E D with bullets. They then wandered home. W hilst crossing R U T H E R S -F O R D the V IC K -E R S ;crew fell into the L O W - BR O O K S. They at once began to make (M c)LE O D noises, which were hushed by “ B R O N C H O ” saying, " Dic-ken, here comes Pastor Elli.”

A most excitable youth nam ed A D D IS was IR V IN E a good time. The lion was P E A R C E -D from all sides.

It took each one some time to look like a W H ITE M A N again. In the Giv,es us << Qn evening they attended pictures taken of the hunt by H E Y W A R D S picture .down! ” Tells man, and the adventure concluded' by all singing Auld LA N G Syne. . them down.

the hands, is to keep

A Specialist's Nightmareo“ BY ONE OF THE BOYS,”

2.1

A “ SPECS” SERGEANT

My D e a r H u i a ,—You will be dying to hear all about our trip, I know, so I ’m going to sit down and get my letter written in case we call at a port this week. Well, dear, we’ve had the most glorious weather so far, and the time has passed most pleasantly. W e girls, being in a minority, have been simply rushed, with the result (now, dear, this is a big secret) that quite a lot of promises have been made. The officers have Ibeen just too sweet for words, and my only regret is that you are not here with us, because you know, dear, there are not many opportunities for a girl in New Zealand just now. I was only telling Mr.T------ no, perhaps I ’d better not say any more justnow. Well, dearie, I must tell you about our garden party. Yes, we had a really truly garden on board, with lovely flowers and shrubs, and the dearest old gardener to tend them. H e was quite an old1 man— far too old, in my opinion, to be working—but he did look hale and hearty in his clean white smock. He sang for us, too— such a funny song.

I cannot tell you the names of all who were there, but you can rest assured, dear, that only the nicest people were invited. W e girls had hoped that some of those nice Sergeant boys— the ones we met at Trentham —would be there, but as there was only a limited number of cups and saucers only the bungalow crowd and the 'boys from the suburbs were asked. You remember my telling you about the bungalow crowd, don’t you? Well, dear, they are just as jolly as ever. T hat stout one, the one you liked called “ Mac,” is one of the liveliest, and yes, dearie, quite one of the naughtiest. W e all love him, though, even when he wears those awful purple socks.

Oh, by the way, dear, that Ibrown-eyed one’s name is Langridge. H e’s a returned man, and such 'a pet, but, alas, like all the nice' men, he is married. The two medical ’men also are married. Of course, you knew dear old Stoney in Nelson, but the other is (or was) quite a stranger. H e has been in the Navy, and, of course, that alone was enough to set us all crazy about him, but, apart from that, he is so good looking. I just doted on him when he came on board, but he has some foolish infatuation for Gladys Cooper, and quite ignores us girls. W hy do the nicest boys run after the actresses so. much? H e’s got a ripping name, too. I t’s Max. D on’t you love it? I t sounds so manly, I think. Then there’s Bobby Gibbons. You remember we met him at W anganui—the boy with the nice soft moustache. Well, dear, he is quite grown up now, and we girls are so proud of him. W e feel sure he will be made a general or something when he gets to France. L ittle Fin, of course, you know. He, too,

is a returned man, but he’s been so busy all th e ‘trip that the m ajority of us have seen so very little of him. H e was ill, too, for a spell, and the doctor had to get him a nurse. The boys from the suburbs, -being country bred, were not so jolly. O ne of the most interesting was a descendant of the famous Mojo tribe. You will remember what they taught us at school about these people. They were Spearmen(ts), and lived on the 'C huddy or Chicklet, or some such place.

Well, dear, this man doesn’t look like a tribesman at all. H e’s tall and fair, with a nice silky moustache (I just dote on military moustaches now, Huia), and the other boys call him "M ack.” Apparently he doesn’t like to speak about his people and their habits, because he gets quite angry when they ask him to give an exhibition of “ Chewinthecanteengum.” I really don’t know what they mean, but I think it must be something dreadful the way “ Mack ” takes on about it. Did you know we have a real live Don on board ? Well, we have, and I know you will like to hear about him, because you were always keen on Spaniards. Well, dear, our Don is tall and fair, with b ig dreamy eyes, and we girls have built quite a halo of romance round him. L ittle Sister, who, as you know, is so

romantic, told us stories of the Spanish Dons who used to sail these seas, and the stories so worked on my imagination that I dream t that our Don came aboard with his sword and carried off one of our girls.- It seemed so realistic that we got up a sweep to see who would be the lucky girl, and, of course, I didn’t win, but there, dear, red capes never did suit me. .

I ’m afraid tha t I ’m not telling you much about the party, but I ’m sure you will be interested in the men. Now Kirkey I ’m sure you’d like. W e call him Kirkey because of his resemblance to one of those old Scotch churches, so very solid, you know. H e’s the one who wore that trench cap on the wharf. Of course he hasn’t been to France, but he’s a true soldier for all that, having had years of experience with the old navals. H e tells us such thrilling tales of adventures off Kaiwarra and Petone that we go simply green with envy, and we really do think he is entitled to wear that cap. L ittle Stevey, the boy with the nice complexion, wears one, too, and he also is justified, because he used to run such fearful risks at those dances in Featherston and Masterton. D on’t you worry about Stevey, d e a r ; he’s got plenty of ginger. Then there’s Mr. Siddells —the nice Mr. Siddells—he’s such a manly fellow, and has the most glorious pair of legs. And Tommy, too, poor little Tommy Thorp. W e were so worried about him at first that we felt sure he wouldn’t see out the trip, but after we got him a nurse he took a turn for the better, and he is now able to sit up on deck of an

22

A LADY'S LETTER

T E H U I A 23

evening. Jimmy W hite, too, was ill, but I had better not tell you anything about him, because he gets

so awfully scotty.But I had better get back to the. party. W e had

songs and choruses, and easily the most popular was “ Pansy Faces.” T hat nice-looking ship’s officer, the one with the dark eyes (you didn’t like him Mutch), sang so sweetly, and afterwards one of the sisters read a paper on “ Affinities.” She’s such a nice girl, and I wish you were here to read her cards. She’s a diamond girl— a red diamond—:and although she has interested herself solely in little subjects on board, I feel sure she will reach great heights before the war ends. I only wish I had as much as a quarter of her knowledge.

Well, Huia, dear, after the party we had very little excitement for some days, but just before we reached land “ M ac,” the dear soul, gave a birthday party. I t was given out th a t it was his twenty-ninth birthday, but we know better than that, don’t we dear ? Still, Huia, what does it m atter how old one is when one feels gay. Personally, I feel like twenty-one, despite the fact that.you and “ M ac” and I went to school in dear old M asterton in the late ’eighties. The party was just too beautiful for words. W e had wines and nuts and turkeys and asparagus and ice cream. The orchestra played, and such funny speeches were made. That little Jim Trainer—doesn’t it seem a shame to send boys like that to the war—spoke up like a proper little man. Really, dear, we had all thought he was such a shy little laddie, but I think we found out long ago that the quiet ones are always the worst. After dinner we danced on deck, and a party of Maoris gave us a haka. Oh, it was just heavenly, and I was so disappointed when they put the lights out at ten. Some of the girls w eren’t disappointed, however, but there, I could never make myself so cheap as to throw myself a t the men. Well, dearie, I could write such a lot more, but the Padre (I really like him the best of the

lot) wants'to take me for a walk round the funnel, so 111 stop. Good-bye, dearie, do look after yourself. Don’t forget to send me those measurements. Give my love to Jackie, and tell Nick I think he’s the naughtiest man I have ever met. Yours at Sea,

BlLLEE.

UNSUNG !

WH ILE poets sing of halcyon days,Of childhood days and May days,

We m ust reg re t T h a t they fo rget

Those happy days— the pay days.

Though pay days come and pay days go, T here rarely is a sad one,

The poets, too,Would tell it you,

But perhaps they never had one.W. J. R- H.

WE are in the army. W e know that there we have to stay till death or disability puts us out. While there we want to be happy.

These are all fierce facts. Read this article studiously, act upon it, and your load will be lighter.

Discipline is rarely defined. By a bare statement it can be described as immediate obedience to an order given b y one in authority. But that is not all. True obedience comes from within and not from without. I t should be spontaneous and not the result of ignition, ft is not sufficient to just do a thing. I t is necessary to do it well.

F a c t i .— W h a t e v e r You Do, Do Y o u r V e r y

B e s t .

If it’s not your best, it’s not good enough for' the army.

In civil life you all have competitors. If you don’t exert yourself, you’re at the bottom. The prize is always there for the striven And so it is in the army. It may seen far away. O ften times it is obscure, but because you can’t see it, you think it isn’t there. But it is. K eep on trying. Keep on striving. The road is hard. The road is long. H ardships are there. Burdens are there. You have to bear your cross-. “ But only he who bears the cross is. fit to wear the glorious

F a c t 2.— T r y . T r y H a r d — T r y A l l t h e T im e .

Discipline makes hard things easy. T hat’s what it’s for. Make your hard work interesting. Keep on taking an interest. S tart the right way. • Interest yourself in reveille. Interest yourself in physical drill. (There’s no need to tell you to interest yourself in your meals. This is a voluntary effort. No man has to be balloted for there.) K eep on interesting yourself. I t’s hard at first, but when it comes it stays until you find all your military life interesting.

F a c t 3.— M a k e E v e r y t h i n g I n t e r e s t i n g .

Never mind about the crawlers and the influence seekers. They’re not men. Sometimes they turn out trumps.

Act upon this advice. You’re sure to get on. If you stay where you are, you’ll be happy. So you see you can’t lose, no m atter what happens.

In conclusion, discipline your inward self, and your outward self can’t help itself. You’ll, be a be tter man ; you’ll be a better soldier.

And that’s all that’s wanted.

D I S C I P L I N E .By “ PILLS.”

U R IN G the f.ourth w e e k of July, 1917, thereJ) arrived in T rentham a fine body of men, who

were to comprise the infantry of the 32nd Reinforcement. A good healthy lot they looked, and with the training they were going to get were of the right fighting stuff. The first draft arrived on the morning of the 24th, the remainder arriving in daily drafts during the week. As thesei men were being medically examined at one of the camp institutes, volunteers were called to join the 33rd Specialists, which comprised a company to be specially trained in machine gunnery and signalling. L arge numbers stepped forward.

The only men accepted were those of good physique, good eyesight, fair education, and, if possible, .of a mechanical turn. Men with previous military experience were also considered, and in this way a full company of 128 of all ranks was accepted. After spending a Aveek in Trentham on elementary drill, issue of clothing, etc;, the company proceeded (August 2) to Tauherenikau by train, over the Rimutakas. In this camp they spent a month “ hard pegging ” at infantry drill, and it was a very hard month, as the camp at that time was not the up-to-date camp it is to-day. Most of the men enjoyed tent life, and much work was put into the company’s lines. H ard graft was repaid, for the Specs, were complimented by General H enderson (Chief of N.Z. Medical Services) on the cleanliness of the lines.

On the 28th the company proceeded to huts at Featherston. Infantry drill continued till about the second week ;in September, the work at this time being mostly musketry.

A fter this they moved to Papawai to do their week’s- shooting. The route march and stay at this picturesque little camp near the river will always be remembered by the boys. Then back to Featherston after a fine week, and with a good shooting average. Then came “ final leave,” thirteen days. And didn’t it fly ! W hen the men returned work began in earnest.

Special training commenced on October 16, the machine gunners going to the gunnery school, under M ajor Fraser, the signallers to the, signalling school, under Lieut. Baker, R.E. Slackers there were none. Men always could be replaced owing, to the numbers waiting to get in, and if a man was not up to requirements at the commencement of his training he received a very quick shift.

The first work of the gunners was on the Vickers light gun, and comprised mostly parts and mechanism,

combined gradually with gun drill. A fter seeing the nature of the work the men were more eager than ever. Later, the training was of a more advanced nature, being composed of sub-section and combined . company drill, standard tests, etc. Many interesting lectures were given by Captain P. B. Henderson, N.Z.S.C. (the Father of Machine Guns).

W hen the gunners had passed their standard tests the section again visited the old favourite camp— Papawai—to do their three weeks’ advanced field work, battle practice, and class firing.

Tactical schemes were carried out under M ajor F raser and Capt. Smith, N.Z.S.C. T h e weather, was ideal during the whole of the three Weeks ’ and the sharp ra t-ta t tat-ta t-ta t-ta t of the. guns could be heard daily. The N.Z. record for machine gun firing was established on the second week, the company gaining 83! per cent, master gunners and i 6 | per cent, qualified. N ot a man failed.

A t the end of the third week the company returned to F eatherston to learn their pack saddlery and continue in structiori on the Lewis automatic gun, mechanism, and drill.

During the gunners’ course the signallers went through a very hard course at the school.

On Monday, December 31, the company left Featherston by rail to embark at W ellington, later to take part in the big game on the other side of the globe.

May the Specialists’ reputation be as good at the front as it was inNew Z ealand! THE OLD MAN.

24

THE “SPECS.” IN TRAINING.

N ew Z ea lan d 33rd R ein fo rcem en t.

A TRENTHAM MEMORY.

REINFORCEMENT OFFICERS AND NURSES.

OFF DUTY HOURS,”

VETERANS.

APPROACHING CULEBRA. THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT.

RINGA PAKIA, IDLE MOMENTS.

MUSKETRY.

ROYAL SALUTE, GATUN.

THREE “ HEADS.”

SENIOR N.C.O’S.

PIERROTS.

E ’V E ;drunk to the King— God 'bless him— W e’ve toas ted our lassies, too,

Our khaki boys in the trenches And our sailor boys in blue.

But th e re ’s one more to a s t to be honoured, So in silence your glasses take

And drink to the boys of New Zealand Who died for their country’s sake.

P te. C. P. O ’H a n l o n , D/33.

AOTEA-RGA,

TH ER E’S a little foam-flecked island in a.lonely Southern sea

W here the tre e s ’ sw eet call ringing is ever borne to me.

No hum an h ea rt can u tte r , nor lip thy bounties tell;H eaven’s voice, e ’en angels’, could scarce thy

p raises swell.We love thee and we honour, our thoughts go out

afar,Nor ac t nor deed thy sons perform ' thy puissant

nam e shall m ar.’Tis the common cry of m any, an echo from a tree

land, .We love thee well, our island home— our island

home, New Zealand.

Where-’er our way m ay lead us or pa ths of duty he.The thought of every son of .thine shall be alone of

thee.Tho’ burning sun-blazed tropics or ice-bound lands

we roam ,T houghts of a Southern Island shall w aft us back

to home.We shall fight for King and country, for the

thousands now o ppress’d,Nor tu rn till the evil of evils and w rong have been

red re ss’d.And righ t on the w ay behind us, from a g rea t to- a

g rea te r free land,Shall rise our own dear island— our island home,

New Zealand.J . M . P r i m r o s e , A1 Company.

IF you w ant to m ake a nam e in this m ilitary gam e, Why not m ake it like a white m an on the

square ?W hat’s the use to swell all up like a milk-inflated

pup?W hy not play it on the level, plain and fair?

Why this everlasting bull, and this, sly and secret pull?

Why this turning of a friend to save yourself ?W hy this strut and posing punk and this “ temper-

5m ental ” bunk ?Why this servile, spineless slobber for some pelf?

Why these underhanded tricks, gab and gossip, politics,

This quacking like some self-contented duck?Don’t you know th a t those on top fall the h ardest

when they flop,And a hog is always fa tte s t ’fore i t ’s stuck?

Why a frown for those who speak honest words w ithout a squeak?

Why for craw lers and their ilk a welcome smile ?Why not put a square-toed stop to this use of m ental

hop,And ju s t be stra ig h t and honest and w orth while?

W. J. R. H.

HAT mission like to thine can be com pared? None half so noble, full of sacrifice;Caring and tending to those knights so

brave,Dishevelled in this bloody gam e called war.With h earts aflame for those who quietly lay

■With sh a tte red fram es, resting on pillows white. • Often with death thou w alkest, and in p a in - Thy soft white hand supports the aching head; . And as the spikenard is balm to wounds,So dost thy presence nurse the sick to health.Bring forth the jewelled crown, and on her brow Place it with tender care and loving hands;For she, by self-denial and labour sw eet,H ath m erited a place among the blest.

P i l l s .

W

TO A NURSE.

W

WHY ?ANZAC,

OUR POETS' PAGE,

25

26 T E H "CJ I jPl

W H A T the ’ell are you doin’ there ? Get to ! Out of i t ! ”I didn’t stand on ceremony, but just went for my life. The scene was the old riding school at Trentham, the

rime April, 1916, and the gentleman whose above quoted remarks had caused me to remember an appointment elsewhere was “ Blazer.” Unless you are an artilleryman you won’t know “ Blazer,” but to the early reinforcements “ Blazer ” was as well known as “ Bum per” and “ H ag g is” are to-day.

. L et us imagine ourselves members of the 5th, witjh an hour of leisure and a desire to watch (and listen to) “ B lazer” at work. W e must be wary in approaching our objective, however, because “ Blazer,” who dislikes audiences, has, in addition to a fine vocabulary, a beastly habit of remembering faces, and stable fatigue is liable to become tiresome when general leave is the order of the day.

Ten minutes of manoeuvring and crawling through hedges and we are safely hidden by the Manuka breakwind. The pilay opens with “ Blazer ” standing in the centre of the ring, the while ten recruits circle slowly round. They are mounted on steeds who know a thiiig or two, and they are by no means happy.

Suddenly “ Blazer ” clears his throat, and at the sound thereof the horses cock their ears, and the riders grab handfuls of leather and hair. Then follows “ Blazer’s ” famous m onologue:

“ Now, then, watch for the word. Gently away— tra-a-at.”The horses break in a slow jog tro t and the riders into a cold

perspiration.“ Sit down, you in fro n t; ’ollow yer bloomin’ b a c k ; don’t sit

’unched up like you’d over-ate yourself. You ain’t a bleedin’ camel. I t’s me who gets the ’ump, not you. Number Four, stop throwin’ yourself about in that blarsted manner. You’ll miss the blinkin’ saddle altogether presently. You can’t expect the ’orse to catch you every time.”

“ Number Three, stop flappin’ your bloomin’ elbows like an ’en. You ain’t laid an hegg, ’ave you ? ”

“ ’ Ollow yer backs, blarst y o u ; ’eads up, ’eels down. Keep your feet out o’ the m are’s mouth, Number Five, and come down off her ’ead. Do you want to give ’er a blinkin’ ’eadache?”

“ Now, then, Number Eight, you’re goin’, not cornin’, so leggo that ’orse’s tail. That ’orse likes to keep ’is tail to ’isself, and you’ve fair upset ’im. The tears is fair streamin’ down ’is face. ’Ave a bit of feeling’ for a pore dumb beast, carn’t you ? Come, now, you ain’t shadder sparring. Keep yer bally elbows to your side. You’ll bust somethin’ if you don’t calm yer action a bit.”

“ Now, then, remember a light feelin’ of the right rein and pressure of the left leg. Ride, w a-a-lk! R i’-tur-rn ! ’A lt ! ’Pare to ’smount —’sm ount! Dis-s-s-mount, I said. Number Six, that means get down on yer feet, not on the flat of yer back. P ’r’aps you like that method best, but you’re in the army now, me lad, and you must be more dignified.”

An interval of five minutes, and th e n :“ S tan’ to yer ’orses. ’Pare to mount. M ount! ”“ There you go, Number Nine, up one side an’ down t ’other. Try

to stop in the saddle a minute,.if only for the bleedin’ view. You’ll KAPAL TE PIONEER.

“ BLAZER” : A MEMORY.By Wo Jo Ro. Ho

T E H U I A 27

’urt yer,self one o ’ these days dashing all over an ’orse like that, and s ’posing you was to break yer neck, who’d get into trouble? Me, not you.”

Now watch it. Ride— ri’-tur-rn, walk, march. Tr-a-a-at! Elbows slightly brushin’ the ribs. Your ribs, Number Three, not the ’orse’s.”

“ Now shorten yer reins, ’eads up, and ’ollow yer backs. Get orf that m are’s neck, Number Four, and try ridin’ in the blinkin’ saddle for a change; it’ll be more comfortable for everybody.”

“ For Gawd’s sake, Number Six, don’t try to ride yer ’orse upside down like that. There, now, you’ve been and fell off. Nice way to repay me for all the patience and learnin’ I ’ve given y o u ! ”

“ W hat the ’ell are you lyin’ there for ? Dream in’ of ’ome and mother, I s’pose. B e 'w ritin’ ’ome about it next, I s’pose. Get up, blarst yer.”

“ Now, then, altogether. Ride. Can-ter.”As the horses break into a steady canter we catch

sight of the colonel approaching in company with the C.G.S. W e depart quickly and quietly, quite satisfied to remain plain infantrymen.

INDICATION OF TARGET:

A la Baby Bliss? the Clink Comedian*

HAT he w as in civil life I don’t know. Pos- . sibly he was a curate. But w hatever his

calling m ay have been does not concern the story. On board he is more than a m an— h e’s an institution. His raven curls and dainty fram e have earned for him the nam e of “ Baby B liss.”

Since he w as torn from his parish and from all he held dear to join the Army he has m ade one lapse. Only one— but to a person of his sensitive n a tu re it alm ost proved fa ta l. He was on leave and om itted to retu rn . R esu lt: “ 112 days. Prisoner and escort. About turn. Quick m arch .”

A fter spending a short time in the Clink a t Tren- tham he w as transfe rred to our private Clink on board. A t p resen t he has a perm anent job sw eeping the decks. »

To vary the m onotony of his task “ B a b y ” has resorted to a very original plan, and, together with one of his co-m ates and bro thers in exile, he provides am usem ent for all who' care to watch. Physical drill, rifle exercises, are always on the syllabus, bu t “ B aby’s ” fire orders are his long suit. T hey’re a revelation— ah education in them selves. P icture th i s :

“ Squad— ’S hun.” “ B aby’s ” squad of one m an adopts the required position. “ B a b y ” thinks hard. To assist the mental process he hitches up his pan ts. He has an inspiration and roars out “ Smoko ! ”

While the squad enjoys a smoke “ b o rro w ed ” from a specta to r, ff Baby ” announces th a t he is

about to deliver a lecture on fire control. The lecture takes the form of the following fire o rd e r :

“ T ake for your front w ater in d istances. Got that? Centre—more water. L eft—water. R ight — another patch o f'w ater. D ’ye get me? Twelve c ’clock— Blue w ater— two fingers righ t— concave slopes on top of w ater. Left— crest of wave— six o’clock— small bird. Top of nex t wave— contents of weak stom ach— four fingers righ t bird and fish advancing on contents— at the contents— contents gone!— w ashout— carry on .” Curtain.

" JOCK HAGGIS ” ON THE ]QBo

NoC.Oo Class Day Memories®

SS ‘VyWY HAT are yer doin’ ? Ye’r stand in ’ there lookin’ a t yer squod and yer seein ’ noth in’ ? S top fingerin’ yerself and look

a t yer squod, I tell ye. They’ve got their hands roun’ in front scratch in’ instead of behind and yer still lookin’ a t ’em. N othin’ but a g rea t big nincompoop ye are, and how ye got here Colonel P o tter only knows— I don’t.

“ And now, w hat are ye glowin’ a t— pay a tten tion to w hat’s bein’ said and w atch yer front. I ’m not here to dance like a goat in front of ye. Any more of yer sm irkin’ in the ranks and some of you non-kommissioned officers ’ill be goin’ before the curnel and back to the ranks, where ye ought to be now. Non-kommissioned— officers— u m p h !

“ Come round here in a circkle. T h a t’s not a circkle, you. Ye don’t know th a t yet.

“ Weel, now, we were ta lk in ’ about guard- m ountin’— not like they do it here, bu t the way we used to' do it when I was m ountin’ a t Doublin Castle. Ye’ve got to see yer guard are clean and turned out sm artly. Be careful they haven’t any bu ttons undone, as it looks bad to see yer sentries parad in ’ up and down with one or tw o of their buttons not dun up. When I used to mount on the Lord Lieuten an t’s I was like a new pin.

“ You, ye goaat ye, look this way and never m in’ th a t squod. Half yer time yer no’ botherin’. W hat y e’ll be like when yer men cum in I don’t know. They’ll be teach in’ ye and m aybe y e’ll learn then.

“ To go on with our guard-m ountin’, ye always have a look before ye take over, and inspect the order boards to see they are eligible—that means ye can read it.

“ W hat are ye sn iggerin’ about again? Remember whot I w as tellin’ ye sum time ago and don’t be fo rg e ttin ’ it.

“ Ye can go back to yer squods now ancj no more gigglin’ and nonsense from any of ye n o n c o m missioned officers.”

“ Sm oke-o.”Sergt. J. M. P r i m r o s e , A/33.

W

28 T E. H U I A

Come and do your guard, my boys,Come and do your guard ;

You’ve had fourteen days in bed,So it w on’t be hard.

T H E Y were an ord inary ship’s guard—just N.C.O.s and men with a clink on charge without any prisoners. They marched to duty

spic and span—shoes and socks and little shorts and shirts so smart. They took their posts, and the sentries looked dream ily to sea.

And then a change. A se rgean t! A worried look ! A sanguinary b la s t! A nd the birth of the Rag-Time Guard.

All was bust and bustle. The guard was strengthened. In desperation nine miscreants were detached from the Army to join the guard. Rifles and bandoliers and live ammunition were, issued. Think of i t ! Real jumpy live ammunition. This was to be some guard. Rifles at the slope, bayonets fixed, and magazines charged sent a thrill through the guard. Guard ! Oh, h as ten ! Get into your glad rags. Real officers were to be in charge. Three little one-star artists were to leave the attraction of the saloon, the ladies,and'------ ; But duty must be done.(The curtain drops here for one minute to represent a

lapse of time equal to five minutes.)The good ship was berth ing; the guard were lined

up. The clink had come back into its own. Into its sacred precincts had gathered all the guests of the potato deck. Sleepy Hollow was left—potatoesunwashed and unpeeled. The army could go to------ ,but the clink had its day. It filled to overflowing— the guard-room filled.

And then the guard. Bedecked like sore toes, they told off, the reliefs fell in, and the corporal marched them off. An anxious throng waited breathless. Real pop-guns, real bayonets, real cartridges. How everyone looked ! T hey reached the pier and to their posts. “ Right tu rn !” bawled the corporal, and they left- turned save one. H e was wrong. The sentries marched— sometimes twenty to the minute, usually lolled 140 to the minute. The clink was. opened, and the Potato Brigade filed out to drink in the view— that’s all there’s ibeen to drink so far. All was excitement. L ittle wonder that the sergeant and the corporals looked coldly from bow to stern for their guardsmen and their charge.

A t last they appeared and were marched off to relieve the sentries. The corporal took his little band along, pride and esprit de corps glinting in every eye. “ Slope arms,” ordered the corporal, and “ Sentries

pass.” They , passed right enough— the old sentry passed straight up the gangway. H e may be still passing for aught tha t’s known. The corporal says he is.

And then the rag-time sergeant. Torn up with the cares of duty, he strolled around his sentries to see if all were correct. H e strayed down the pier—he found ------ . Alas for that bedecked g u a rd ! One had forgotten his suspenders and had left his puttees in his kit-bag. His socks told a tale of death. They were

. half-mast. T h a t poor sentry passed straight down to h------ . A t least, the sergeant- ordered him there.

The band began to play. T he sentries’ feet, long accustomed to route marches from the troop deck to 'the main deck, could not resist. W ith rifle hugged and caressed, they began to rag and to haka. The guard joined, the boys took it up, the Maoris grew excited, the ship began to jig and whirl to the strains of the music of that rag-time band.

Long nights have their ending. Morning’s dawn awakened. The guard settled down. It drew itself aboard the ship and let go the lines. The clink took ■upon itself its accustomed air. of emptiness. The guard was relieved and the labourers rested from their labours.

The sergeant rubbed his eyes and yawned. “ O h ! W hat! Time to inspect the relief? W here am I and when ? ” T he poor sergeant had been awakened from his five-minute nap on the siren halyard. The Rag-Time Guard was all right. I t was just a pleasant little dream, a little fact, a little fancy. “ Carry on,” said the sergeant, and went on with his sleep, as sergeants always do. Ask the corporals?

THE - 33rd PSALI

3-

W e are in the a rm y ; we shall not want.I t maketh us d rill and do all fatigues.I t draweth on .our vocabulary and g iv e th . us

much running.4. Yea, verily, though they teacheth us much

fi.ghting;.we fear little evil, for the H un is our enemy.

5. We shall dine at the mess table and be broughtforth to the waters of the shower.

6. A nd the remembrance of the arm y shall followus all the days of our life, and we shall dream ARM Y forever.

THE RAG-TIME GUARD.By THE RAdlTIM E SERGEANT,

1.2.

Y j S I travel on board a troopship,U With a thousand men and more,cAnd think of the hundreds of thousands

Already gone before,I think of that barbarous Kultur—

The cause of a deadly war.

I think of broken-hearted mothers,Sisters, sweethearts, wives ;

But I dread to think of the mighty change War has made in so many lives.

I think of copious tears and sorrow,The awful grief and pain—

?And the cause of all was desire for power *And greed for earthly gain.

I think of brave young heroes,Who heard their country’s call,

Who went to do their duty,<iAnd who did it—one and all.

tAnd, as I think of silent heroes Who sleep on a foreign shore,

I curse the perpetratorsOf the ghastly “ great world war."

A. F. G r a h a m , C/33.

T E H U I A 29

30 T E H U I A

A stands fox Alington, who fiddles awayW ith his violin and music a t the end of the day.

B stands for Banks, who is fond of a trick.He pulls a t the ham m ocks, and m akes the boys

kick.C stands for Carmody, who is orderly clerk.

He w ears a big smile, and is fond of a lark.D stands for Daikee, who sniffs a t his food,

And turns up his nose a t all th a t is good.E is for E dgar, who deals out the stew.

H e’s a good hand at the gam e and knows w hat to- do.

F is for Farrow , who torm ents the boys.H e’s second to none in m aking a noise.

C stands for Gunn, who' aims a t the boys,But, unlike o ther guns, he creates little noise.

H is for Hom an, and wherever you go,You will find him still the sam e old Joe.

S stands for Iggs, the bank for each lad.He pays out the cash to the good and the bad.

J is for Jack , who’s surnam e is Low.A t drill, or a t play, he gives all a fair go.

K stands for Keen, who' in cam p was so gay.But with polish and rags he is quiet all day.

L stands for Lawrey, he’s known everywhere.Fie sings out “ H ere, S e rg ean t,” with very fine

air.is for M eagher, who is well known as Fred.He is w aiting for hair to grow on his head.

N stands for Num ber, and I wish to tell y o u :’Tw as G rierson’s passw ord, “ Fall in Number

T w o ! ”0 is for Osgood, who leaves things about.

H e’s a pest to m ess orderlies, so they count him righ t out.

P stands for P orter, who is eager for scran.He is first a t the table and g rabs all he can.

Q is for Q uarter, who earns a good cheque By ordering the boys up on to deck.

F? stands for Read, who was good a t his “ crib .”As for coming on board he thought he would jib.

S is for S tanton , and y.ou only need lookAt his staunch corporation to know he was cook.

T is for Thornthw aite, who is crossing the foam. And the girls are all w aiting to welcome him

home.U stands for Uniform th a t w as issued in camp.

So we have to w ear it wherever we tram p.V is for Victor, the lance-jack, of course.

He hails from the tussock, the broom, and the gorse.

W stands for W ater, which we see on every hand.I t has been said “ th a t the sea was a big w aste of

lan d .”

X is for “ E x tras ” which the Q uarter gives out.And some of them disappear when he’s not about.

Y is the Youth who does not like drill.But is sw inging the lead and says he is ill.

Z stands for Zig-Zag, the course of the ship.So far we have had a jolly fine trip.

Gi n g e r , 64808.

BUM PERISM 3 UP-TO-DATE.

N OW, stand up corporal. Got a chest on you like a gravedigger’s spade—hooked at both ends.

Shave this morning, sir? You did, sir? Well, I wouldn’t give much for your razor, sir.

Shaved las t n ight, corporal. Ancient history. Why, you could swing on ’em.

D on’t yawn like that, corporal. For Gawd’s sake close your mouth till I see who you are.

W ash-out th a t last. W h a t! I t ’ll all be a w ash-out soon, sir.

H and down, corporal; leave it alone; never get better.

Come on, father, parade your bones in front. Now, get busy, dad.

Come on, cause it to be done again, sir, and for Gawd’s sake shov’ ’em back before anyone sees ’em.

Party, halt. Not a move. Men, you may laugh.C ripes! get back, corporal; you ought to be

upstairs on a rocking-horse.You shaved? Extended order I don’t mind, but

massed formation. Well, if you can’t cut ’em off, for Gawd’s sake get a hammer and hammer ’em in, sir.

Look to your slope, sir. If that rifle was india- rubber you’d strangle yourself, sir.

Now, corporal, you’re nervous’, a re n ’t you? But, G aw d! give it a go.

T hat little codger in blue pants, with the golf-stick on his shoulder, hop out and move the army along. Now, get busy, corporal.

Not bad, not bad at all, sir. But how about doing •it right, sir?

Sergt. J. M. P r i m r o s e , A /33.

PROVOST-SERGEANT.

THE 'A.B.C OF NO. 2. (

Ao A Company Platoon Story*

T E H U I A 3i

A s h t o n is one o f a few ,W ho talk upon parade.

BOSUSTOW helps to m ake th e stew,And knows of what it’s made.

C a m p b e l l is his aide-de-cam p;W e think he works too hard.

DAVISON, Coqp., from R iccarton :W hy, he’s our geni&l pard.

EW ART dream s of chew ing-gum ; -W ith gums he chews his cud.

FARQUHAR little kn ow s he’s com eTo fill the place of Rudd.

G il e s is go od for tug-of-w ar,And may his weight increase.

H ARDY helps to k e e p us square,F or he’s on Ship’s Police.

IREMONGER’S hard, just like his kind, .And cuts his nails in bed'.

Ja m i e s o n , w e le ft behind,Because he swung the lead.

K e n . A n d e r s o n lost all his cashTo “ sports ” we have on board.

L e n . D r a y t o n says he has the dash To give them their reward.

MAHONEY, keen to come so f a r ;W e hope he goes right through.

N a r b e y helps the armorerTo keep the rifles new.

O s b o r n e le ft “ A C o m p a n y ”—H e showed to us his back.

PRIMROSE, flow er o f sergeants he,Though not so shrewd1 as Me.

QUIN N , the steward of our m ess;H e always takes us in.

R o b in s o n , R ussell’s friend , I guess,Could any maiden win.

S i d n e y W a r d , our artist corp.H e’s more pluck than a man.

T e d R o b e r t s o n — oh, happy th o u g h t!Our old “ comedian,”

U p p e r m o s t in all our mindsBecause he’s left behind.

VlZER, too, I trust he findsGood friends, but, never mind.

W r i g h t and W h y b o r n ever moon,

’X ist like two lost birds,YZ’s know, No. 1 P latoon '

Is the “ Best of the Thirty-thirds.”C o r p . L . P. D a v i s o n , A/33.

MESS forty-one has heaps of fun,Led on by Corporal Anderson.

With hair clipped short he looks a “ sport H e’s not one of the angry sort.

Mess ord’lies two we bring to view,Their faces of a reddish hue.Friend Barkle brings the treacle new,And Pepp’rell gets the Irish stew..Then there’s the man with face of tan,W ho sits ibeside the pudding-pan,Our friend, Bill Hampton, always game,Is never slow to call again.

Then comes Jim Anderson and Jones,A t eating onions make no bones.“ ’Twill cure you’re aches,” both of them said, “ And make you sleep when in your bed.”

Then there’s George Henley, tall and prime, Who never gets to meals on time.H e wanders all about the place,W ith ne’er a smile upon his face.

N ext comes our comrade, William Maule,W ith arms so long and height so ta l l ;W henever dainties come in view Will never tackle Irish stew.

Len Jackson, of tlie Ship’s Police,Is always crying out for g rease ;While Occarino in the corner Declares “ The place is getting warmer.”

F. H. H i l d r e t h , B/33.

A M M O U M C E M E N T S o

W A N TED , ten men for peeling potatoes; m ust be intelligent and used to wearing* gas m asks.—Apply, Chief

■ Steward.A H PEA T has reopened his laundry business ; ^shirts a

speciality; orders m ay be left w ith W ak Lee—just overthe road.

P RIMiCOCKS, W ILKROSE AND CO. wish to announce tha t they have a “ D ictaphone” for h ire ; absolutely

guaranteed to continue when once wound up.______________

LO N E LY S O L D IE R with means desires to m ake the acquaintance of the beautiful nurse who held his arm

when being vaccinated. Meet me by the funnel on the boat deck. I shall carry a potato in one hand and a canteen ticket

' in the o t h e r . ___________________________________________

FO U N D , 23 lb. of potatoes in a boat on the port side of the boat deck. O w ner please com municate with 2nd

Lieut. Stevens, “ B ” Company.__________________________

L O ST, reputation ; finder com m unicate with J. C. M cK ., The Bungalow.

A E. G IB B O N S, C .S.M ., is no connection of R. B.♦ Gibbons, A djutant, and in future the former will not

be responsible for statem ents made or for debts contracted in his name.

Ode to No* 1 Platoon,

OUR MESS,

I T has long been recognised th a t some revision of this— N at Gould’s g rea te s t work— has been necessary. Although these am endm ents have

been m ade with the view of conforming to the peculiarities of the average recruit, they have not yet received official recognition by the W ar Office. However, it is refreshing to note th a t they have been adopted by the General Staff of the Army of Siam.

Sec. 13, P age 19.— “ A tten tion .” A dd: “ Upon assum ing the position of attention the recruit will im m ediately proceed to scratch his nose with his left hand and search for the b u tt of a c igare tte with' his r ig h t.”

Sec. 16, Page 21.— “ R ight D ress.” Amend to read : “ Every m an, excepting the right-hand man, will preserve a dignified indifference to the movem ent. The right-hand m an will take the first two steps in the T ango and look foolish.”

Sec. 22, P age 28.— “ Quick M arch.” Substitu te : “ The squad will w ear a preoccupied appearance and stand f a s t .”

Sec. 22.6, Page 29.— “ — paces s tep back— M arch.” Add: “ The recruit will endeavour to come in contact with some immovable object (such as an outlying flange of his neighbour’s boot) and will then throw a back som ersau lt.”

Sec. 24, Page 30.— “ M arching in double tim e.” “ Double m arch .” Amend to read : “ The squad will carry on with a gam e of hare and hounds.”

Sec. 25, Page 31.— “ The side s te p .” Substitu te : “ The squad will do the Gaby Glide until lassoed by the N.C.O. in com m and.”

Sec. 26, Page 31.— “ Turning on the m arch .” “ Right tu rn .” Amend to. read : “ The squad will a t once assum e open order and advance on three fronts sim ultaneously.”

Sec. 31, Page 33.— “ M arching in single ra n k .” Add : “ The squad will endeavour to approxim ate its m ovements as nearly as possible to the action of a concertina, i.e ., alternately opening and closing.”

Sec. 35, P ara . 2., Page 35.— “ M arching as in file.” “ Changing direction.” “ R ight wheel.” Add as a n o te : “ I t is im m aterial w hether-the squad wheels to righ t or left. This will depend upon the particu lar delusion the leading m an happens to be labouring under a t the m om ent.’•'

Sec. 41., P age 40.— “ Form ing squad .” “ On the left (or rig h t) form squ ad .” S ubstitu te : “ Each m an will move off a t a tan g en t to the required front. If an officer happens to be in charge of the squad he will a t once give f Carry on, Serg e a n t.’ ”

I T I JQl

“ JIM.”LIEUT. J. J. TRAINER.

Infantry Training 1914* Alterations and Amendmen.ts0

T E H U I A 33Sec. 44, P age 45.— “ Movements in fo u rs .”

“ Changing d irection .” A dd: “ The leading four will increase its pace with the view of placing the maximum distance betw een them selves and the nex t succeeding four. They will ignore all exhortations to step sh o rt.”

Sergt. W ALKLEY, A/33.

BUNKHUM .

T HE w ar has b rought to light many new wonders in chem istry, the la te s t being a new anaesthetic which is known to the m ilitary

world as “ B unkhum .” I t was first discovered when the Main Body left for the Front, and has been found to a more or less degree on every troopship since, and is especially prevalent on Troopship 99.

Bunkhum is m ost easily produced by cramming- m any sw eaty bodies of soldiers (the dirtier the better) into the hold (officially designated sleeping accom m odation) a t 8 p.m . and closing all portholes. The continuous use of “ langw idge,” illicit “ fags ” and pipes, and the prevalence of subm arines are other im portant fac to rs in its production. The advan tages of this new production over chloroform and o ther anaesthetics are th a t its action is more ra.pid— unconsciousness being caused inside three seconds^— and also more lasting , one small whiff being sufficient to put a pa tien t to sleep for a t least e ight hours. The only d isadvantage noticed so far is th a t it has a very deteriorating effect on the tem pers of all quarterm asters, who come in contact with it a t 5.30 o’clock in the morning. Supplies of Bunkhum are likely to be plentiful, as it is produced in large quantities on all transports.

“ A ” COMPANY SPASMS.Introducing a private called Toomer,The essence of all wit and humor.

He is doing his best,As well as the rest.

I f you hear he’s a mug— it’s a rumor.A nd now we’ve Mess O rderly Knott This private we like quite a lot.

H e’s round and he’s red,He looks very well fed,

I f you see a thin man, i t ’s not Knott.I ’ll now mention Corporal Green,W ho never will be a “ H as been.”

A t physical “ je rk ,”H e makes his squad work,

H e’s the toughest sm all man I have seen.A good chap is Corporal N ullan,No one could e’er call him a dull ’un.

H e’s brigh t and he’s breezy,To him sm iling’s easy,

A nd a sm iling face beats one th a t’s sullen.

r HE peelers of our gallan t boat,With badge upon each’khaki coat,Do perch them selves in places queer

Like beasts of prey aw aiting deer.And woe to him who does not right,For to fill the clink is their delight.

There are dozens quite unknown to me,All over the boat they are plain to see.They keep their w atch with professional skill To see th a t no soldier does any ill.They look quite well in their harness strong,And undoubtedly keep all men from wrong

(I don’t th ink).

Our worthy ad ju tan t turns gam bling down,He says you lose dibs a t the Anchor and Crown. But still did the gam blers their chances take,T ill'the A d ju tan t’s heart did th rea ten to break. Then he ordered the peelers their eyes to well

skinAnd thus save the soldiers’ souls and their tin.

But one worthy spec, grown old a t the gam e Declared, w ithout gam bling the trip would be

tam e.So he brought his board from down below,And after a while began collecting the dough. W hen up popped Fahey, of detective fame,And prom ptly did Adolphus finish the game.

He nabbed the good spec, who was loth to forsake

The place where his fortune he’d s ta rted to m ake But e ’er m any hours had passed to the good, Before the C.O. in orderly room stood. - And his sentence was passed in less than a wink, ’Twas dice overboard and 7 d ay s’ clink.

But we a ll'm ust agree the Johns are quite right, Else chaps would be smoking and gam bling all

night,'And thus would their fags and health run low, And w hat use are invalids when facing the foe?So we will all join together with one accord And help the John Hops while we are aboard..

Definition o

A Gorge—A feed at the sergeants’ mess.

THE PEELERS OF 99*By T h e T im a r u K id .

P a y .— W e are alw ays pleased to receive outside contributions, but your poem beginning—

“ O ysters, oysters, I love you Fried, on shell, or in a stew ;Lobsters, too, cooked a la nob,I loves to shove it in my go b .”

is hardly suitable. T he noble thoughts expressed in the last verse, however, must live. So .here goes:

“ I loves pea soup, I do, by gad ;•It m akes my tum m y feel right glad.T w o platefuls of this toothsome dish I alw ays swipe before the fish .”

V ery beautiful that last verse— very, very beautiful. By the way, your article, “ Ananias O ut-A naniased,” has created great interest. W e quite believe you could.

M a c k .— W e cannot answer the question in your little “ pom e,” as we don’t chew ; but in case some of our readers can assist you, we publish your e ffo rt:

“ Please answer me this question,M ister Editor, I pray,

And let me know immediate If there’s anything to pay.

Does the m asticated chew ing gum (B e its colour green or white)

Lose the sweetness of its flavour On the bed-post overnight? ”

C h r i s t a d e l p h i a n . — K in g ’s R egulations dealing w ith the powers of a C .O . relate to com m anding officers and not

to conscientious objectors.S t e v e . — (1) Y our explanation as to w hy you hid behind

the bull-board is not quite satisfactory., W e agree with you, however, that astronomy is an interesting subject in the tropics. (2) T he chief steward probably would be glad of those potatoes.

J a c k H a w k .— T he captain apparently .had good and sufficient reason for swearing, but we do not think that the man at the wheel took a very unfair advantage.

L i e u t . L a n e ask s: “ W hat shall I do when m y am m unition is e x h a u s te d ? ” . W e have looked through 218 m anuals on the subject, and the'correct answer appears to be, “ Cease firin g.”

ANXIOUS.— There is really nothing to worry about. “ Lead- sw inging ” m eans: Pursuing the line of least resistance. Tt is not a symptom of lead poisoning.

L i e u t . , A .C .S ., w rites: “ W hat can I do to m ake m yself popular with m y men ? ” Join another company.

E. N. Q .— Sergt. “ W iri ” D ick, of A Com pany, is no longer connected w ith the B lack W atch. H e severed his connection with that unit some years ago to follow the more congenial occupation of collecting bawbees. No, we cannot vouch for the accuracy of his personal rem iniscences in the Peninsular W ar.

T e m p is.— W e are sorry your w atch finds the task of keeping pace with ship ’s time too great a strain. If-you use the follow ing form ula you w ill obviate the necessity for adjusting your w rist-ticker. H ere ’s the secret: W hen the hour hand points to 3 and the m inute hand to 8 you know it is half-past ten.

R e t u r n e d . — Y ou r -assumption that officers who wear trench caps have not necessarily seen the trenches would indicate that you possess a giant intellect. T he remainder of your communication has been “ deleted by C en so r.”

Wte e k - e n d .— The suggestion that a percentage of troops be given week-end leaves each week, and allowed to spend it in the first saloon, has been forwarded to the proper quarter. B rainy idea.

L e a d -Sw in g e r .— W ould like to meet you. T he term “ clink ” comes from the Latin word “ clinkus ”— a place of rest. Y es, the word still preserves its ancient meaning.

L e o .— $ergt.-M ajor Girdlestone denies that he has any intention of taking over C arl H agen b eck’s menagerie when we reach Berlin. H e assures us that he has sufficient trouble with his B Co.

C o l d - F e e t . — Y ou have our sympathy. Most distressing malady, but fortunately very rare on this boat. T reatm e n t: Attend lectures by Lieut. H ill, of E C o., and hear what you w ill have to do when we reach the trenches.

K a h u w a i J a c k .— W e were intensely interested in your article on “ A N ight in B alb o a,” but we regret we are unable to publish it. W e do not- think, however, that the charge w as excessive.

PUG.— U nable to say whether R .Q .M .S . H alligan trained Jess W illard. “ Llally ” is very reticent on the subject. Dare sa}̂ he would devote a portion of his ample and well- paid leisure to coaching j^ou, provided "you approached him with becom ing deference.

T E H U I A . 35N e r v o u s .—The answ er to the conundrum , “ W hy does the

colour of the Pacific Ocean favor the subm arine? ” is : “ Because its Prussian b lue .”

H o ri.—G lad you like the color scheme of the pyjam as worn on the 6 a.m . parade by the O .C. Troops.

E q u a l i t y . —Your proposal to abolish sh ip ’s police and substitu te a “ Soldiers’ Comm ittee of Vigilance ” is too revolutionary. Suggest you devote your undoubted talents to “ Crown and A nchor,” “ Snakes and Ladders ,” or some other harm less diversion.

AMO.—Such adm iration of the nursing sisters is touching. W e also adm ire .them—at a distance. Never mind, Scout, y ou’ll be an officer some day—perhaps.

R o l l o f H o n o u r .—Sorry we cannot publish a roll of the 33rds who missed the boat. Insufficient space. Their address is : care of Sergt. of the G uard, T rentham Camp.

C.S.M . G ir d - S T -n e .— W e agree with you it was guile. But have you never heard of D elilah and Samson ?

SGT. E d -W-DS.— O f co u rse ,' splend id fo rce the police.

W h a t ! ! !

R.Q .M .S . H a l-G -N .—Your “ Talks oh Etiquette ” to hand. O ur publishers cannot accept contract. Try “ B reak and C o .”

SGT. G u -N.— A l itt le k n o w le d g e is a d a n g ero u s th in g . N e x t '

tim e y o u w r ite p lease u se the nib-end o f the pen. N o

q u e stio n s ask e d .

S g t . F ER -IE.— W e pro ffer our sy m p a th y . H e w a s h a rd on

yo u . W h y not p lunge. “ in m ed ia s res ” w ith “ M y

h e a r t ’s d a r lin g ,” or, better still, “ c o d e ” i t ?

O.M .S. AD -PH .— (i) I t was a grand fight, but who w on? (2) Rip Van W ink le’s sleep was continuous. (3) W e have not yet found who holds the record as a trencherm an. Your claim is under consideration.

S g t . G u t-R IE .—Certainly not. Get him to interview the R .Q .M .S . He has a book on the subject.

SGT. O ’D on-LL .-^(i ) Yes, an Irishm an has a large heart, but have you noticed his feet? (2) W e agree that Daniel O ’Connell was a great orator, but there are times

* and places for haranguing a crowd.Sg t . T u-K-R.—I t is hard, we adm it, but the course of true

love never did run smoothly. Recommend you to read “ Songs of Solomon.”

L i e u t . S i d - l s .—You do m urm ur sweetly in your sleep, but why be so brusque w ith a sergean t? He only did his duty.

Q .M .S. C o - b s .—M ephistopheles is the character yo u mean. W e are glad it has gone.

C a p t . M c K -L - p .— O h, y e s ; o rders is orders. Y e s , it w a s a

S c o tch m a n in ven ted it. M ack ay ,, w e th in k .

S g t . W -T -N .— W e reco m m en d A n tip o n .

C.S.M . H a l l . — (1) The girdle of Venus w asn’t it. (2) I t looked like an elephant, certainly. (3) ‘Y our charge was too low.

O.M .S. P - b - ls .—Of co u rse, y o u ’re not th e o n ly pebble on

th e b ea ch , bu t yo u ce rta in ly are a p o lish ed one.

O tM.S. M a -H -t.—It was outrageous. Macbeth was troubled tha t way, too; also H enry IV.

M e l o n . — N o ; th e C.O . did not issu e a n order th at all ra n k s

sh o u ld ca rry , besides life -b e lts an d w ater-b o ttles , th eir

k its and a w e e k ’s d ry ratio n s.P o k e N o s e .— N o ; the officers were practising the H aka

th a t night. You mentioned Bedlam, but as we have not been there, we ca n ’t support your rem arks. Yes, we know the recipe. H ere it is : The tropics, a full moon, som ebody’s birthday, and aerated waters.

SEPTEMBER 20.— Thirty-third Reinforcem ent entered camp. Had medical inspection and received first issue.

Septem ber 21.— All ranks were sw abbed. Men received second issue and also drew rifles.

Septem ber 22.— Reinforcem ent transferred from Trentham to Tauherenikau.

September 29.— Inoculation of officers and men.OCTOBER 17.— Sports m eeting held a t T auher

enikau Camp. A successful gathering— especially for A Company. **

O ctober 20.— Reinforcem ent transferred to Featherston (without reg re t).

October 31.— Orders th a t the A to E Companies of the 33rd would go for final leave on November 8 and 9. Men selected for the N.C.O. Class proceeded to Trentham .

NOVEMBER 8 and 9 .— A ll ra n k s in a b u stle , m ak in g for train s to ta k e them a w a y fo r final lea ve until—

November 20.— When they returned to camp.November 27.— A, B, C, D, and E Companies

m arched over the R im utakas, and reached T rentham . None the worse for the trip. General leave gran ted in the afternoon.

November 29.— The Governor-General reviewed the troops on the Racecourse.

DECEMBER 19.— A rrangem ents, for em barkation on the 24th.

December 21.-—“ V isitors’ D a y ” at the camp, and held a surprise in store for the men, as leave was g ran ted until W ednesday, 26th, and was la ter extended to—

December 29.— When we returned to camp.December 30.— A day of bustle preparing for

em barkation.December 31.— We entrained about 9 a.m. and

em barked a t midday, saying au revoir to New Zealand at dusk.-

(As it im presses a member of the 33rd after being out of sight of land for twenty-two days.)

T HE sea is very, very wide,It takes up all the room outside.And when on deck I w atch the sea It comes right up and splashes me.

Corpl. S. J. B., A/33.

M A O R 1 L A N D M E M O R I E S ,

Our History at a Glance.

THE BLOOMIN' SEA.

36 T EL H U I A

T ROOPSHIP 99 was plugging steadily ahead through the blue Pacific 's w aters. The sun shone down with .fierceness and sm ote the

decks and also the m em bers of the 33rd Reinforcem ent, causing them to seek shade, and repose in graceful and ungraceful a ttitudes. Everybody was half asleep.

Nothing but w ater, more w ater, and still more w ater had been seen for days, and the men had tired of gazing a t the bareness of the horizon.

Suddenly the sharp, striden t tones of the m an on the look-out, up in the Crow’s N est, is heard above the noise of A Company practising a Maori H aka, “ Som ething on the sta rboard bow— looks like w re c k a g e !”

Im m ediately all was excitem ent. Lieut. -------rushed down to his cabin, cram m ed cartridges into his autom atic, and pu t on his lifebelt.

A Company’s haka stopped with surprising suddenness. The skipper m ade a bee line to the chart- room to get his tru sty sex tan t. The gunners in the ste rn broke all records in. loading the 17-inch .gun. The police rushed to the boat sta tions.

Five m inutes passed— ten m inutes— fifteen m inutes of deathly silence. The strain was so intense th a t R.Q.M .S. H alligan m ade a “ clean break ” and had to be assisted below by the nurses.

Suddenly the skipper, who had his eye glued to the periscope of his sex tan t, gave a sigh of relief and shouted, f< ’Tis bu t a whale, and, m ethinks, a dead one a t th a t .”

A shout of victory bu rst from everyone’s lips, and Troopship 99 breathed again. But only for a short time. A gentle . zephyr w afted a whiff of ozone from the direction of the la te Jonah ’s dug-out. The engines coughed and splu ttered and all hands made a fran tic rush below to put on gas masks,.

H alf an hour la te r all was norm al again. A Company resum ed their haka. The police picked up the sca tte red cards and w ent on playing ff Crown and A n ch o r” behind the rafts . Arms and am m unition were returned to the m agazine and nothing was heard save the scratching of pens w riting up the diaries.

<f S u b m a r i n e . ”

'T 'O L E T, in 5th Avenue, No. 1 H atch, one swinging ham - m o ck ; all conveniences; hot and cold w ater som etim es;

beautiful sea view on all sides; elevated position; frontage 1 ft. by depth of 7 ft. ; situated in select quarter close to clink and sh ip ’s fog bell; ow ner about to take up suburban residence on deck; hundreds of good reasons for le av in g rent m oderate.— For further particulars apply to Corporal Jenkinson, “ A ” Company, 33rd.

OUR PERFECT ROLL.

HEN-you come to the end of a perfect roll, And you sit alone and you think,And you see in your pay-book an empty

scrollFor your two m onths’ trip in the clink.

Do you think of the tim es th a t you m ight have had, And does it not feel sore

To see officers, N .C .O .’s, and menG etting dressed to go ashore ? .

Well, this is the end of a perfect roll,And the end of a journey, too,

But it leaves a thought th a t is big and strong Of the work th ere ’s still to do.

Now memory has painted this perfect scene,Not thinking of days to come,

But the boys of the clink will be there, we think, When we s ta rt to vanquish the Hun.

From O.C. No. 5 Cell, Clink.

R A C I N G . ;

Thirsty Thirds Cldbo

FO L LO W IN G are the final acceptances for the meeting to be held on No. 4 H atch im m ediately after Sick P arade on Sunday nex t: —

JU V E N IL E H A N D IC A P.— F or trophy presented by the Athenic O ld G irls’ Association.

For horses that have not previously raced off their home courses : — ^

S id d e l l e s (Big Boy— Clumsy).T h o r p e e (Chaser— Shemale).S te v e y (Ginger—Spendthrift).VlCKEY (Nice L ad— Specialist).D e n n y (Dism al— W halepellyj.JlM W lTE (Scotty— Deck Chair).BIG M ack (Chewing Gum— Canteen).K a w a i J a c k (Red L igh t— 'Two-bob).S T R IP E S S E L L IN G ST A K E S .— Open to all

horses tha t have won three or more stripes in the season. T rophy picked' by Mr. Peck : —

A d am s (Professor—Learning).GlRDY (Live W ine— Popular).CLARKE (McGosh— M any Parcels).P ie r c e (Some Guy— ’Aveaspot).G u t h r i e (Pretty Boy— Orderly).A d o lp h (Pussy— Im itator).

. H a l l i g a n (Q uarter— Not H alf).. H a l l (H o t Stuff— Cairo).

C ro s b y (Modest— Scholar).■Tay lo r (Genteel— Soft Voice).DICK (Argum ent— Bite).MATCHETT (Good Chap— Turkish D e lig h t) . TUCKER (W arbler— Harmony).D e a r (Money— Oneansix).

WExcitement and a Whale,

An Anxious Moment

Y/hat could gladder? the burlap eye

f^ore that? that s c e 9 e •'>?the dis+ar?+ sky?

Qp lift n?ar/s thoughts f r̂ orr? this cPuiTjblii?^ sod

fo tfipk of bis CPea+°p. God?

A . F . G r a h a m

T E H U I A

SUNSET.

Ob! Wondrous gpat^deup, O b ! s c e i?e Su b I in ? e

Such as i?e’ep entered a r t i s t ’s n}ii?d

Op aptisi’s bpusb e’ep coloped yet

T bat gorgeous Scel?e at subset.

37

T E H IT I jQl

IT all ’appened in this way. “ P u s s y ” G IR D L E S T O N E , “pug dog ” A D O L P H , and

• “ bull dog ” O ’R IO R D A N all. met in the sergeants’ alleyw ay when lights were low. “ P u ssy ” scratched and hissed, A dolph barked snappily, and O ’R iordan growled. A nd then they were into it. They all required stitches, so the T A Y LO R came out with his needle. Somebody said that Adolph was done BR O W N , and so the Medical Corps came out to see if everything was H A L L right.

The professor, who was having an ADAM S apple, emerged from his cabin, accompanied by “ cardinal ” GIBBONS. Then a melee ensued.

M cCOSH C LA RK , with his arms full of parcels, tum bled and fell in' their midst. Somebody in the W H IT E heat of excitement said they had seen nothing to M A T C H E T T for years, the only draw back being that th e dogs had h ad too much T U C K E R . Somebody began to PE C K , and to make m atters worse a G U N N went off. I t was indeed a battle ROYAL. Someone else called for B R IT T A IN to come to their aid Q U ICK . I t was such a D E A R fight to watch. Things began to fly. H A IL IG A N cried out, “ Girdie has been h it on the T E M PL E -M E N with a P R IM R O S E .” A nd then they commenced to throw, not rocks, but P E E B L E S .

A nd then the church bell rang for K IRK . Jam began to fly, and a tin of KAY struck CROSBY and P IE R C E /D G U T H R IE in the eye. W hat a P E A T T IE , they all cried !

The proden appearance of Charlie C haplin’s father carrying a lamp shed light on the proceedings, and then all was still.

“ P il l s .”

K is for Kaiser, whom T hirty -th irds hate.A is the Aisne, where his troop trains were late. I stands for Indian , cat-like and quick.S for our Soldiers—John, Sandy, and Mick.E begins Essen, where Prussian pride sits.R is Recruits, who will blow it to bits.

B stands for burial, when hanged and dead.I is an “ Iron Cross ” to place o’er his head.L stands for lays they will sing in Berlin.JL is the place he’ll repent for his sin.

S e r g t . J. M. P r im ro s e . A/33.

STAFF-SERGEANT HALL.

H ALL, the sergeant, self-styled “ Pills, Up. against all soldier’s ills.

W hen lights are low no one works harder, V er’ nice, ve r’ clean, his lemonada.U nder his care the Red Cross drills',H is nature studies give.us thrills.Of P anam a a picture painted,Flea powder blue the air he tainted.

38

AWFUL ’APPENINGS IN THE ALLEYWAY,

KAISER BILL,

COM PAN Y COMMANDERS.

40

T A K IN G advantage of the calm old Pacific sports soon became a feature on board the transport. A fter a big all-day carnival, in

which boxing, wrestling, and tug-o’-war were the chief items, sports were held every other evening on No. 4 hatch. Boxing was the most favoured competition, and some excellent matches were witnessed, a challenge bout between W itin itara (Pioneers) and W alshe (D Company) being of exceptional merit. This contest, which went the full course (six two-min. rounds), was won by W itin itara on points. Considerable interest was taken in the spar boxing, some of the men showing great skill in the contests. An Officers’ Championship proved very exciting, the final, between the Padre and Lieut. Revington, being the finest bout o f the voyage. These two officers tied for first place. On the saloon deck several cricket matches were p layed, but, owing to the loss of all the balls overboard, a competition which was arranged fell through.

Lieut. R. C. Moore, of the U niversity Club, A uckland, was the star batsm an on board. Bull board, quoits, skipping, medicine ball, all had their supporters, Sister Lewis being easily champion of the rubber discs. A treacle bun-eating competition, “ Are You T here,” “ Get Rick Q uick,” “ Chalking the P ig ’s E y e ,” and other amusing games helped to pass the time p leasantly on the Pacific, but after passing through the canal all games were washed out owing to the roughness of the elements.

Follow ing is a .list of winners of the various competitions : —

F idd is (gst. gib), Medical Corps, beat Griffiths (gst. gib.),-M edical Corps.

R ankin (gst. gib.), Specialists, beat Brooks (iost.j, Specialists.

S e m i- F in a l .F id d is forfeited to K araitiana.Evans beat Rankin.

F in a l .Evans won by d efau lt to K araitiana.

M ID D L E -W E IG H T S .Corpl. Johnston (lost, iolb.), D Coy., and

G avagan (lost, iolb.) a draw.M clsaac ( l is t . 61b.), C Coy., beat' W illiam s

( n s t . 61b.), E Coy.W itin itara ( l is t . 61b.), Maoris, beat H ick

(i ist. 61b.), C Coy.Smith ( l is t . 61b.), A Coy., beat M urphy ( lis t ,

61b.), B Coy.S e m i- F in a l . •

Smith beat Gavagan:Corpl. Johnston a bye.

F in a l .Smith was declared the winner.

H E A V Y -W E IG H T S.Simonds ( l is t , u lb .) , D Coy., beat W alker

( l is t , n ib .) , E Coy.Corpl. M asefield (i2st. 7lb.), C Coy., a bye.

F in a l .Simonds beat Masefield.

BOXING*FIRST TOURNAMENT.

L IG H T -W E IG H T S .Evans (lost.), D. Coy., beat Neylon (lost.), B Coy. K araitiana (lost.), Maoris, beat Chapman (lost),

Medical Corps.Cookson (9st. 91b.), D Coy., beat Hazell (9st. 9lb),

A Coy.

SECOND TOURNAMENT.H E A V Y -W E IG H T S.

A llen (i3st. 31b.) beat Corpl. Masefield (13st. 31b.)This w.as an interesting bout, and was won by

Allen in the first two rounds. H e established a big lead on points, and, although Masefield won the last round easily, he could not make up the points he lost in the opening stages.

M ID D L E -W E IG H T S .Smith ( lis t , n ib .) easily defeated T rau (i2 st) . M clsaac ( l is t . 61b.) had an easy victory over

Pihema ( l is t . 41b.).Berry a bye.

S e m i - F i n a l .Smith ( l is t . 11 lb.) beat Berry ( l is t . 4lb.)Berry put up a good exhibition against a tough

proposition.Smith and M clsaac meet in the final at a later

date.L IG H T -W E IG H T S .

W alsh (lost.) beat H ill (lost.).T his bout proved the best of the afternoon and

was an exceptionally clever exhibition of boxing. W alsh getting a decision in his favour only after an ex tra round was fought.

WRESTLING.C U M BER LA N D .

M ID D L E -W E IG H T .F i r s t H e a t .

D avis (E Coy.) beat Lee (E Coy.).H iha (Maori) beat Orr (B Coy.).Toho (Maori) beat Mclsaacs (C Coy.).Toho (Maori) beat H ullena (C Coy.).

F i n a l .H iha beat Toho.

H EA V Y -W EIG PIT . •F i r s t H e a t . ■

Anderson (C Coy.) beat Carr (D Coy).Greenen (A Coy.) beat Cook (Maori).

F i n a l .A nderson beat Greenen.

C A TCH -A S-CA TCH -CA N .F i r s t H e a t .

Greening (Specs.) beat Topia (Maori).H iha a bye.

F i n a l .H iha beat Greening.

T E

VARIOUS COMPETITIONS*BUN E ating .— P te. H. Perfect (D Coy.).T r u s s e d C o c k - F ig h t .— Pte. W. N. W ade

(Specs.), Pte. Tasker (E Coy.).Q u o i ts .— A Company team.B ull B oard .— A C om pany team.TUG-O’-WAR.— F irs t contest, Maoris. Second

contest, A Company team (L'/Cpls. Ross, Montague, Galloway, E dgin ton , Corpl. Butler, Ptes. R aynbird, Bruce, Homan, Dalton, Sharpe).

LAZY-STICK.—Light-w eight, Pte. R. IT. Gray (M edical' Corps). Heavy-weight, Campbell (Maori).

B l in d - F o ld P u n c h .— Pte. H. Kemp (Specs) i, E. H. A ddis (Specs.) 2.

G e t-R ic h -Q u ic k .— Pte. FI. C. Spargo (C Coy.). ^C om pany S p a r-B o x in g .— Missen (Specs.), B erry

(Specs.), a draw .

^\\jilllllllllllll!ll!lllllllllllll!illlllllillllllllllllllllllllllll/^

| Canteen! || C an teen !! |H C H A SE US ! C H A SE US ! ! | |

—S Come and buy, but come w hen we are open ; pub- EEE Dished h o u rs.n o indication. Try your luck any old

=jj= time. A few disappointm ents w on’t hurt, for you’ll EE catch us sometim e. zz:

H U I A 41

| DRINK! D RIN K !! j~ T h ere’s n o th in g half so sw eet~ in life as a W et Canteen. EE:

H B ring y o u r p a l fo r a w e t “TP® EE

jEj C hildren’s Sum m er D rinks, Lemonade EE EE and Ginger Beer always on Tap. =E

| SPEIGHT’S XXXX |=j ARRIVING BY N E X T BOAT. =

= C IG A R E T T E S 3d. Tres bonne ! —

= S IX P E N N Y C AKES at 1/- M auvaise! =

M NO O D O R IFE R O U S SPU D S §§ = SO LD H E R E . == T ry the deck im m ediately above. ~

— A ll Business done on the =~ Tuppenny Ticket System . =

H War News and Ship’s Gossip. == If time no object'buy a box of m atches and “EE~ while w aiting an hour or so listen to the ^ E~ Clerk’s chat. m

1 THIS IS FREE. 1

= The only F R E E thing on board ==

%llllllllllllllll!lllllllll!llllllilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll#

SIL E N C E reigned among occupants of the Sergeants5 Quarters, broken only by the rhythmic thud of the engines and the snoring

of Ah Peat. Down Q uinn’s Post. A lley tBe fitful glow of a surreptitiously smoked cigarette could be seen, leaving the place in deeper darkness as it dimmed.

Could one have been watching, no thought of d as tard ly work about to be wrought would have entered the imagination. Y ef men were afoot with evil purposes in their souls against the body of a fellow-matt— to wit, no less a person than “ Young F o rfa r.” The victim slept peacefully, not even having entertained his neighbours to a few selections on his Dictaphone.

The villains entered his chaste abode. An E nglishm an’s house m ay be his castle—but the A dolph— I mean adage—holds not for the Scot. I said “ They entered ! ” Yes, and in a deep silence, which - further cloaked the m ystery, removed him from his virtuous couch and ruthlessly bore him into the corridor. “ F o r f a r ” d id not go w illingly—not at all. Robbie declares he was awakened by a tremulous voice asserting, with as much assurance as the darkness would perm it—

“ W ull ye let me go ? Let me go, I tell ye ! I ’ll report ye in the m ornin’ ; you see if I w ullna’ ! ” A thump, a swish, a splutter.

W attie awoke, and asked, with m any qualify ing phrases, w hat was the row. Before any answer was possible a voice broke in from the darkness of the p a ssag e :

“ Ye pair o’ cooards. Ye alwis tackle a wee yin 1 ”Giggle ! Gurgle !Then another long spell of silence, broken by the.

inhabitants of 47 try ing to borrow cigarettes from each other, and, fa iling to achieve their end, beginning to elicit from “ F o rfa r ” his tale of the outrage It was too voluble to set down fu lly , also too forcibly to ld , but one oft-repeated sentence sticks in my memory :

“ I t ’s no joke bein’ sprayed with flea powder doon the throat.”

Even Robbie’s assurances that by such treatm ent he would now be immune from the staggers d id not soothe the enraged Gael.

“ I ’m going to report the two cooards in the m ornin’ ! I don ’t care for anybody ! I ’ll stand treatm ent like tha t from no man, no m atter who he may be. T h ey ’re no gentlemen, but a pair of roughs.I know who they are— the cooards.”

A drowsiness settled again over the quarters, but the low moaning sounds of the Dictaphone were wafted ever and anon through the midnight air.

“ I ’ll report them in the m ornin’, the cooards ! See if 1 don’t ! ” F inally , towards daybreak the sounds died away in broken and incoherent murmurs of “ cooards,” “ m ornin’, ” “ flea pow der,” whereupon W attie requested Robbie for a cigarette, but, meeting no response, smoked one of his own, and a deep, sweet silence descended upon Q uihn’s Post Alley.

THE BLACK HAND s ITS INFLUENCE ABOARDBy ADOLPHUS GIRDLE.

42

T E H U I A 43

Officer Commanding Troops.—Captain J. C. M c K i l l o p .

Adjutant.—2nd Lieut. R. B. G ib b o n s. Quartermaster.—2nd Lieut. J. F in la y s o n .

Padre.—C haplain-Captain M . M u r p h y .

“ A ” CO M PA N Y .C aptain J. C. M c K i l l o p .

C aptain J. W . L a n g r id g e .

2nd Lieut. J. P. H a w k e .

2nd Lieut. R. C. M o o r e .

Company Sergeant-M ajor A. E. G ib b o n s.

Q uarterm aster- Ser gea nt G. W. P e e b le s . •

NUMBER ONE PLATOON.N.C.O.s and Men.—Sergeant J. M. Prim rose. Corporals

L. P. Davison, S. L. W ard, R. W hy born, D. C. W right. Lance-Corporals H . Bam pton, I i . H . Nicholas, W . B. Robinson. P rivates K. L. Anderson, P. R. A pplegarth, C. S. Ashfon,F. C. Beaven, R. B. Benny, C. A. Booker, H. Bosustow,A. S. Beckett, F . C. Bradney, W . E. Campbell, G. S. Carter, J. I i . Carter, C. Cassidy, C. L. C. Childs, G. Chilton, J. S. C lapham , A. Clephane, C. Crim ius, L. H . D rayton, R. H. E w art, G. Farquhar, R. A. Ferguson, W . G arlick, W . Giles, W . I-I. Green, T. W . H ardy, F. J. Holland, F. C. H um phries, M. I i . Irem onger, D. D. Mahoney, F. C. May,F. J. Mouse, N. R. Muir, W . M cQuinn, A. A. P. Narbey,I. Nimmo, J. B. Ross, G. W . Russell.

NUMBER TW O PLATOON.N.C.O .s and Men.—Sergeants G. A. Gunn, R. A.

G uthrie. Corporals T. E. Lang, A. S. Scott. Lance- Corporals V. O. Frizzell, W . F. C. H am m ond. Privates J. S- Alington, I. B. A rm strong, V. W . T. Banks, F . Beach,F. W . Boakes, J. Bryson, W . Brewer, A. W . Clare, W . Colt,I. H .*D ack, O. O .'D a ikee , E. G. Day, R. Edgar, W . G. Edw ards, G. R. Evans, V. R. Farrow , I- R. Fayen, M. Fitzgibbon, A. E. Foote, A. J. F. Foster, J. E. Goodchild, J. Greenan, J. E- H ardw ick, G. I. Iiazell, W . H endry, I. B. H om an, F. I- Hyde, L. G. Iggo, W . I i . O. Keen, A. Kermode, C. J. K ing, I- F. Laury, J. G. Low, O. Lynch, W . G. Mably, F. I i . M eagher, I i . D. McArthur, J. R. M cFarlane, I i . S. O ’Neill, W . A. B. Porter, M. G. Roper,B. S. Robertson, J. T. T hornthw aite.

NUMBER THREE PLATOON.N.C.O.s and Men.— Sergeants W . B. Dick, L. T. Wilcock.

Corporals S. I. Bishop, E. Graves. Lance-Corporals E. Crozier, B. D. Edginton, L. F. Jerm yn. Privates A. H. Adams, H . T. Allen, S. G. Allen, E. Beehag, I i. J. Blanchett,C. Blizzard, D. Bonar, F. M. B rittain , I. E. Broadfoot, A. Brough, A. J. Burke, A. E. Burrell, I . J. Cain, A. G. Campbell, I. V. Carm ody, F. C. C. C arr, A. I. Dalton, J. D ickinson, J. D. D ohom ann, F. R. D unne, A. H. Ennis, L. R. D ean, L. S. Faw cett, C. Gibson, S. Gregory, J. Iia rd ie , R. H as well, R. Iioldaw ay, D. K. H ouston, J. N.

Jones, W . R. Jones, A. Lam m as, A. T. Laurie, P. J. Lovell, J. G. Lucas, E. M urcott, R. W . Osgood, W . Raynbird, A. Rodger, D. T. Ryan, J. G. Sharpe, M. R. Skirving, C. T. Smith, R. J. Stoney, L. A. W ay, G. E. R. W eisent, S. Woolley.

NUMBER FOUR PLATOON.N.C.O.s and Men.— Sergeant W . G. W alldey. Corporals

P. Butler, L. W . Green, R. F. Jenkinson. Lance-Corporals LI. J. Galloway, J. M ontague, N. M. Ross. Privates W . J. Austin, F. Brown, W . J. Bruce, I). Cameron, M. J. Cam eron, C. Campbell, T. A. Corkbill, F. LI. Cunningham , I i. A. D ickinson, E. Dobson, J. Donald, G. D rum m ond, W. M. Fenton, A. Finlayson, J. Frood, A. G arlick, A. G rant, C. C. Greening, G. L. Lloulton, W . R. Jeffrey, P. R. Johnston, G. Keer, A. J. Kelly, I i . R. K ingsland, W . LI. K nott, A. D. M cArthur, J. R. M arshall, H . J. M attingly,G. W . M orrison, W . Mulrooney, M. Reidy, U. S. Roy, C. E. Toomer, J. H. Wills.

“ B ” CO M PA N Y .Lieut. B. C. K i r k .

2nd Lieut. R . B. G ib b o n s.

2nd Lieut. S. K. S i d d e l l s .

2nd Lieut. W . D. R e v in g t o n .

Regim ental Q uarterm aster-Sergeant I i. L I a ll ig a n .

Company Sergeant-M ajor H. E. G ir d l e s t o n e .

Q uarterm aster-Sergeant W . M. A d o lp h .

NUMBER FIVE PLATOON.

N.C.O.s and Men.—Sergeant A. H. Peattie. Postal- Sergeant T. P. Quick. Corporals T. M. Abernethy, C. R. Anderson, F. R. E ltherington, C. A. Ibbotson. Tem porary Corporal J. Mills (chiropodist). Lance-Corporals J. Beat, W. H. H am pton, W . H. Maule. Privates J. W . Anderson, R. W . N. Clifford, H. S. Ha,1 1, W . Hill, F. H am pton, F. I i. H ildreth, A. Hemsley, E. T. Llolmes, M. G. Iiansen , L. Jackson, A. E. Jackson, L. I i. Jam es, O. Johns, J. B. Johns,A. I i. Jones, L. A. Jones, J. LI. Liggins, J. C. Litherland,E. M adegan, J. Magee, I i. Mason, W . I i. Mitchell, A. W. M uir, F. M urphy, W. S. Mackenzie, R. W . McCrorie, I i. McKenney, S. H. N airn, W . Naylor, J. R. N ewman, J. Nicolson, G. N. Novastrom, C. Nutsey, W . A. Pepperell, J. Pointon, J. Sobey, E. R. W right.

NUMBER SIX PLATOON.

N.C.O.s and Men.—Sergeant R. V. Kay. Staff-Sergeant W . H. Dear (attached Pay Sergeant). Corporals G. C.

THE ROLL CALL.

44 T E H U I A

Cooke, C. R. J. Relf, W . I i. Pearce. Lance-Corporals Brooke-Taylor, G. A. Pike, W . H. Clemens. Privates T . W . Bassett, J. Batson, C. V . Bleeze, B. Boult, J. Boult, K . C . B. Bowen, W . B. Brattle, A. J. Bright, E. B. Browne, J. Burt, l i . F . Clapham , A. A. C raig, I i. A. D avis, G. W . Dorne, E. E. E. Edmunds, E. M. Grace, I i. E. Guise, A. A. H aggett, W . G. H enley, C . R. Iiougton, T . Innocent, E. W . Jacobsen, W . J. M cCullough, W . Myhill, J. G. O ’Donnell, W . A. Rainsford, T . Ranson, J. I i. Rees, P. Ii. Stearne, E. T w eker, I i. Z a chan.

N U M B E R S E V E N P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeants W . Fergie, C. Robertson. Corporals N. Robertson, W . J. Sm ith. Lance-Corporals V. L. Belsham , J. Burgess. Privates W . Anderson, D. R. Andrews, J. A. Bagrie, R . C. Barkle, A. J. B egg, D. F. Boyes, W . T . Cain, I i. Compton, T . Connell, T . Crisp, T . P. Dunne, I i. F. Earl, G. E. Eaton, I i. S. Greene, F . Galavan, M. Gill, I i. H ay, F. W . Herbert, W . Hodgson, E. Jackson,E. I i. K ing, F. W . I i. Langdale, L. B. Leith, P. L. Lynch, M. M artin, A. M cLellan, G. W . Raven, J. M. Sm yth, S. C. South, I i. Thom pson, I i. J. W heeler, R. J. W ilson, J. J. Y oung.

N U M B E R E IG H T P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeant J. E. W atson. Corporals P. R. W inchcom b, A. J. Furness. Lance-Corporals A. R. Officer, W . I i. Perry. P rivates E. H . J. Barker, M. Belotte, R. B. Berry, A. J. C lark, W . A. de V . Dudley, D . C. Duns, S. W . Field, F . J. Foster, F . Gilm our, G. G. Graham ,B. J. Grant, A. M. Gunn, A. Iian.nant, J. J. H aynes, N. Henderson, E. I i. H erbert, J. R. J. Lattim ore, A. A. K . Leitch, I i. W . Lym an, I i. D. Lynch, A. I i. Mitchell, A. M cAlister, F. K . M cN atty, J. McPherson, J. M cElroy, J. J. Neylon, R. A. Orr, C . E. O ’H ara, J. Spencer, E. Sweeney, W . G. V ial, A. A. W ard, R. S. W ebb, J. W ilson, W . J. Woods.

^ = m = ^

“ C ” CO M PA N Y .

Lieut. J. R . T a y l o r .

2nd Lieut. A. C. S te p h e n s .

2nd L ie u t. J. I i . W h it e .

2nd L ie u t. A . I i . D ilnne.

Staff Sergeant-M ajor L. W . T a y l o r .

Com pany Sergeant-M ajor T . J. J. O ’R io r d a n .

Q uarterm aster-Sergeant J. F. Cum m ing.

N .C .O .S and M en .— Sergeants F. A. Brittan, R. W . J. Edwards, A. C. Fahey, T . M. Geddis, T . I i. Sherwood, L. J. Stevens. Corporals L. R. B lake, F . P. Jones, J. I i. Tunge, J. W . M ackay, I i. W . M artin, R. T . Masefield, E. T ." j . M oyna, G. A. Peachey, S. A. Skilleter, N. K . Thom son,F. J. W aterw orth. Lance-Corporals D. Burgess, E. W . I-Iallett, I i. I i. Harrison, S. R. H ollis, R . I i. Johnson, A. G. Lancaster, A. E. M cCracken, D. N. Pye, A. Sm ith, A. G. Sowry, R. F. R . W atkins, J. H. R. W ilton. Privates C. G. Adams, S. Adlam , A. Allan, W . Allen', R. C. Anderson, D. Arthur, L. A. Bailey, A. I i. F. Bashford, C. C . Bee, J. E. Beggs, F. I i. B lakeley, E. A. Bennett, A. J. Bott, J. G. Boyd, J. Brady, I i . Bridgem an, W . E. Burgess, W . J. Butler, A. L. C artw right, I i. Cassin, W . T . Claxton, J. J. C leary, P. Coad, C. Compton, C. Coyle, J. Davidson, S. R.

Denson, W . A. D ray, W . E. Fernie, A. F . Forem an, A. F . Graham , J. F. Go van, A. Greenhow, D. Gunn, R. D. H ales, W . I i. S. H am ilton, J. J. H anover, D. Henderson, P. Z. H enneker, J. Iierlihy, F. T . H ick, F . H ickey, A. H ill, T . I i. W . H itchens, A. W . H ollingum , A. G. Homes, N. W . H owie, J. Mulena, E. Iium pherys, T . Jamieson, W . D. Jarden, A. Jennings, A. D. Johnson, J. Jones, W . Joughin, J. W . Jowers, F. K eating, P. Kel.leher, J. J. Killip, E. C. K ing, M. W . Leam an, H. Leatham , W . I i. Lee, W . R. Lee, R. j . R. Lepper, G. I i. Leston, A. Low e, J. I i . Luke, M. Lynch, T . A. M ackie, O. Mann, A. G. M artin, M. M artin, O. I i. M arx, J. H. M askrey, J. F . Mason, P. P. Meehan, J. F. M illiard, A. Milne, T . G. M itchell, R . M ullen, C . V . Murray, G. A. Murton, A. Milton, A. E. M cA 1-ley, W . L. M cCallum , S. M cConaghty, A. T . M cEwen, A. I i. M clsaac, A. S. M cK ay, F. D. M cW illiam , C. C. Naish, R. Neal on, R. P. O ’Brien, M. O ’Brien, M. C. O ’Flaherty, C. O ’Gorman, J. J. O ’Riordan, G. L. C. Paddison, W . L. Payton, W . G. Peckham , E. J. R . Pepperell, F . Prince, J. F. Reilly, J. A. Roberts, S. Robinson, F. T . Row e, J. D. Row e, E. C. Seaton, S. H . Sewell, M. Sexton, H . J. Simmons, A. Sm ith, A. G. T . Sm ith, C . L . Sm ith, W . Sm ith, S. H. C. Spargo, M. H. Sutton, C. Sum m ers, H . Summers, A. H. Taylor, F. H. Thom son, H . G. Thorpe, W. Tinney, C. F. Vinsen, T . F. W alm sley, I. D. W aldin, A. W . W atters, J. F. W hittaker, W . A. W ilson, P. A. Wirvnie, J. W . W itt, G. S. Y oung, W . Y oung.

“ D ” C O M P A N Y .

Lieut. G. M. D o n .2ncli Lieut. J. LETHBRIDGE.

2nd Lieut. T . H. T h o r p .

Com pany Sergeant-M ajor T . D. A d am s.

Quarterm aster-Sergeant L. W . C o o m be.

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeants W . H. H icks, A. R . Johnston, N. M. M cG orlick, J. O ’Donnell, C. F . Rainey. Corporals G. E. T . Abbott, C. Chesnutt, T . LI. Coleman, C. T . D ickinson, W . J. W . Ford, LI. Gledhill, E. W . H am es, A. M. Johnston, G. A. R. Johnstone, D. M oCorkindale, W . G. Sparks. Lance-Corporals L. F. I i. Barber, W . G. Brem ner, I i. W . Christian, G. B. Evans, G. A. C . Greener, P. J. Guppy, D. Iieslop, I i. O. Moffitt, J. Muir, M cFadyen, T . I i. W alsh. Privates W . R. Absolum, W . A. Aitken, J. Anderson, C. G. Arm strong, W . E. Barber, P. Barr, W . G. Barker, W . J. Batchelar, G. B lack, W . A. Brabyn, J. Breen, W . E. Brice, S. T . Brooking, I i . LI. Brown, J. Brown, J. A. V . Brown, J. C. Brow n, W . Brow n, R . Bruce, A. A. Burgess, J. C arlaw , I i. E. Carpenter, J. C arr, J. C ole, C. Cam pbell, T . N. Cookson, N. Christie, F. A. Clim o; F. Cornwall, C. Counihan, S. C ox, W . C ox, T . O. Crabb, I i. Crockett, J. T . Crow,, I i. G. Cunningham , A. Dalzell, J. Dawes, T . D aw son, J. I i . Delves, P . A. D evereaux, M. Donnelly, A. D ouglas, W . D ouglas, J. D uffy, F. J. Dunn, W . J. Easton, R. E. Eaton, J. H . Edwards, F . A. Ellis, L. Everitt, J. Fennell, J. D. Ferguson, T . From e, J. Friar,G. N. G arlick, W . N. Gibbons, J. Gibson, A. Gillanders, S. J. Gould, LI. Greenslade, E. Groufsky, T . G. H all, A. D. Iiallam ore, W . Iiarper, J. B. Iia w k en , R. V . Iieaddey,G. S. Iiick s, E. Iiosk in g, J. R . H ulm e, C .-J . H uston, J. Irwin, I i . Jackson, E. S. Jameson, J. Jensen, A. Judge, E. K ing, W . Kirkw ood, A. Lavender, J. G. Lesjardin, F. D.

T E H U I A 45Lippith, C . V . Little, A. Loveridge, A. J. Lyons, F. K . Mackenzie, J. A. M acpherson, D. M cLean, E. K . M cLean, C. M cFall, T . M cLaughlan, W . A. M cGill, T . K . M cIntosh, K. M cQuarrie, A. L. J. M artin, R. M ayer, J. Menzies, G. Metcalf, D. H . Morrison, K . N. .Muir, B. M<urphy, A. J. Nicholls, C. Olsen, J. P. O ’Donnell, C . P. O ’Hanlon, P. J. O ’K ane, A. O ’Keeffe, F. R . P aiky, W . Palm er, E. E. Parfeet, A. I i. Pitcher, A. I i. Parker, A. C. Percy, A. Pidcock, L. E. Porter, J. I i. Perfect, F . A. Price, L. Pirini', L. Preston, C . Prince, W . S. Qualtrough, J. Quinn, F . J. Ram sden, R. T . Rayner, J. L. R egan, P. I i. Rendall, J. D. Reynolds, M. Robb, W . A. Roberts, J. Robson, R. M. Rountree, F. Routley, R. P. R ow an, S. I i. A. Row e, H. C. Russell, J. G. Santy, W . H. A. Scott, C. L. V . Seabourne,H. G. Seerup, A. Shirley, J. Sm ith, S. T . Sm ith, S. C. Spooner, S. I i . Simons, J. J. Stella, J. Stewart, F. Stirling, P. Stokes, D. Stormont, I i. K . Taylor, C . A. Turnbull, R. M. W alsh, F. W ells, J. W harton, G. I i. W ilson, C. I i. W itt, A. E. S. Wood.

“ E ” CO M PA N Y .

2nd Lieut. W . J. R. H i l l .

2nd Lieut. H . C. W ill ia m s .

2nd Lieut. J. F in la y s o n .

2nd Lieut. J. J. T r a i n o r .

Com pany Sergeant-M ajor G. S. P ie r c e .

Q uarterm aster-Sergeant R. J. M a t c h e t t .

N U M B E R S E V E N T E E N P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeants A. M cC. C lark, F. G. T u cker (C anteen), G. R ickard (Records). Corporals J. Prentice, W . J. Dunn, J. E. Tebbutt. Lance-Corporal R. LI. Beattie. Privates F. C . Agassiz, R. Aitken, F . Anderson, A. T . Bangs, I i . A. Bower, I. Barron, B. J. C la rk , G. I i . C. Dunnett, C . Freem an, J. Fitzpatrick, J. F. Hollobow, R . I i. Jonnassen, R. A. K iddy, C. Leighton, A. W . Luscombe,G. H . M ayn, J. J. M cW hirter, M. J. O ’Neill, W . M. Oliver, J. O ’Sullivan, F . C. R am say, W . Rice, L. C. Richards, R. Ross, F. R . Stew art, E. B. Sm ith, W.- B. Som merville,G. I i. Sm ith, T . Smith, W . L. Sm ith, W . J. S. W orm s,E. A. W orm aid.

N U M B E R E IG H T E E N P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeant E. Crosby. Corporals A. M. Bartley, G. F. Stone, J. Tinnock, W . P. Iiodgkinson. Lance-Corporals G. C. W ilson, W . J. L aw . Privates A. Alexander, A. Brown, V . J. F. Benn, S. B lack, W . J. Bryan,F. J. Carroll, G. B. Cavell, F. C ow ley, LI. N. D ickinson, A. Farrar, P. G askell, E. Gate, W . L. Goodwin, I i. W . Iiackett, K . A. H ooker, V . Llowm an, G. R. Irw in, J. Jobe, W . I i. Lam bert, R . C. M ansell, S. W . M cM illan, G. W . M cCallum , J. R . M cCauley, W . J. B. M clndoe, W . G. Morrison, E. Peters, P . P. Phelan, E. R. Radcliffe, R . G. Strickett, T . J. H. Speedy, A. C. Sampson, L. Stills, S. C. Tom s, H . J. F. V ickers, J. H . W illiam s, J. P. W ills, J. E.

W ilson, A. R . W igg.

N U M B E R N IN E T E E N P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeant K . Ross. Corporals A. Gate, P. R. W illott. Lance-Corporals A. E. Barr Brown,

N. I i. Palm er, J. Reid, C. R. Sharm an, C. A. Tasker. Privates M. L. Adam s, F. W . Bartlett, T . J. G. Baxter, W . Bell, D. A. Brisbane, E. J. W . Coles, F. O. Caddigan, T . A. Christie, J. Connor, C. R. Cookson, J. Drabble, J. R . Ellison,- T . Edmondson, W . J. Guy, S. A. Iiaverfield, J. R . K iely, G. Leathern, W . Miller, W . More, E. F . Muir, J. M cllroy, E. I i. Newm an, J. P. Sadler, C. W . Scott, I i. B. Sinclair, I i. W . T . Sinclair, J. Robinson, A. F. Sandford, I i. V . Sm ith, J- F. Sm yth, I i. Stretton, T . W . W ebster, F . J. W oller, A. W inchester, V . T . W ilson.

N U M B E R T W E N T Y P L A T O O N .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeant A. R. Brown. Corporals R. S. Newcomb, T . LI. W ilson, G. W indram . Lance- Corporals A. R. Puknan, R. G. Coutts. Privates G. A. -Baikie, J. V . Beazley, G. L. Bell, D. Brow n, F. Barnett,E. J. Casey, P. S. Caudw ell, M. M. Davies, J. Davison, I i. Dyer, S. Forrest, R. B. Gresin, J. Graham , L. T . Goodhue,F. W . lio sk in g , E. H oy, A. E. Jones, A. T . Lee, R. O. M cCabe, E. B. M cDonald, J. J. M cDonald, J. M. M cDonnell, R. J. Morrison, V . J. O gilvy, C. V . O ’Reilly, W . LI. Priest, C. I i. Pritchard, J. Q uigley, M. L. Shandley, N. A. Stevens, C. E. Stewart, W . Sommerville, G. Sprott, L. Steele, F . R. Tennent, F. P. W alker, I i. J. W illiam s, W . A. W oodward, E. W aller, I i. W . W alker.

NEW ZEA L A N D M EDICAL CO R PS

C aptain W . D. S. J o h n s t o n .

Staff-Sergeant W . E. H a l l .

Q uarterm aster-Sergeant J. A. F e r g u s .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeants R. I i. Ingram , R. K irk . Corporals W . P. C raighead, K . LI. Dean, G. Packer, B. G. Thompson. Lance-Corporal R. I i. M artin-Smith. PrivatesG. I i. Amies, E. W . Ault, J. Baddiley, J. W . Baddiley, A. Barke, D. V . Batem an, A. Berry, N. R. Brown, W . J. Burrows, C. I i. Byron, J. Caldw ell, S. C. Chapm an, S. F. C hristie, E. G. C larke, T . F. C larke, E. W . Cooper, J. C ow ley, E. P. Cullinan, A. Dempsey, C . A. D euxburry, W . D ickson, L. Dobbs, H. Fiddis, W . E. Galbraith, D . Graham , R. G. Graham , R. I i. Gray, A. Griffiths, E. Lledley, I i. H iggins, W . A. H ill, I. A. Holden, S. Llolmes, W . R. H owland, I i. C. Iiu tt, W . J. LIuxtable, A. S. Jacobsen, C. L. Knofflock, A. Leppard, T . G. Liddington, M. Lyons, W . E. M allindine, S. C. Maslen, F. J. Mason, J. M eikle, T . Min shall, G. G. Mitchell, S. R . Morley, T . M. V . Morton, S. G. Northey, L. D. Page, A. C. Philpott, I i. L. Possennishie, A. S. Powell, E. J. Prince, R. D. Rolston, J. D. Roulston, D. R. Saunders, A. F. Skinner, P. E. T . Stewart, A. C. Tate, H. G. Thom as, L. C. W allace, C. G. W att, J. I i. W ebb, A. W ebster, F. G. W hite, LI. G. F. W ilkinson, Ii. W . G. W ilson, R. P. W ilson, W . W ilson, E. S. W orthington.

SPECIALISTS CORPS.2nd Lieut. C. L . L a n e .

2nd Lieut. K . L . V ic k e rm a n .

Sergeant-M ajor T . A. C r o t t y .

N .C .O .s and M en .— Sergeants L. O. Bensem ann, W . E. Johnston, LI. R . Ludbrook, N. C. Tucker, F . H . Quinton. Corporal P. T . W illiam s. Lance-Corporals C. L. Jeffries,

4-6 T E H U I AW. Riddell, E. G. Stirling. P rivates E. H . Addis, H. Anderson, J. T. B arrett, A. R. Bates, P. Beaton, J-. M. W. Bell, A. L. Berry, R. D. Brebner, G. Brunsden, C. R. Caffin,H . D. Cam eron, J. A. Catto, V. H. Cole, W . Clewes, A. Craig, H : E. Ellison, R. G. Ferguson, R. Gavigan, A. J. H anna, R. L. Harvey, W . Hedges, C. D. H eyw ard, G. L. InWood, A. R. Jackson, J. I i. Jellyman, F. Keeble, C. E. H.C. Kemp, G. B. Laing, I i . Lindsey, E. Lloyd, R. S. Lonsdale, C. H . Lord, W . I i . M arshall, A. L. Menoe, D. Missen, W . F. Mowibray, C. B. M urray, T. R. McLeod, J. McKay, E. D. M cRae, O. C. E. Nicholson, F . W . W. O akden, J. Parkinson, A. P. Pastorelli, T . W . Pearce, R. M. R ankin, R. I i . Roebuck, W . J. Scott, J. Smale, W . T. Stoddart, J. C. Thom pson, F . S. Tyler, W . N. W ade, W . W. W ardell, D. G. W arner, J. W ebb, M. W hitem an, L. S. W ithey, H. K. York.

SIG N A LLER S.2nd Lieut. J. A. M c D o n a ld .

Q uarterm aster-Sergeant B. G. H a r w o o d .

N.C.O.s and Men .—S ergeants W . Caradus, L. A. M arshall. Corporals G. W . M cDouall, J. Telfer. Lance- Corporals A. E. Allen, L. A. C lark, S. Dickens. . Privates S. F. Bayliss, R. Berry, L. Brightldng, T. Brooks, W . J. Carson, G. I i . F. C lark, D. Crawford, A. Day, F itzm aurice, W . Gerrie, J. Gilbertson, A. J. H arris, A. S. H arris, H. H arris, T. Irvine, F . W . Low, J. A. M arston, A. E. M orrison, L. L. Pledger, T . Rutherford, I i. F. Shepherd, E. D. Sinclair, I. I i . Spencer, G. Thom son, T. C. Voyce,C. D. W allace, G. A. W estray, G. W inter. A ttached Army Pay D epartm ent, Sergeant-M ajor W . L. Iiaseltine.

&==ffl===3>D IVISIONAL SIG N A LLER S.

N.C.O.s and Men .—Corporal L. A. W hitham . Sappers W. Craig, W . J. Lattim er, G. E. I i. Davis, J. A. Wyllie, J. F. McEnirney.

<£=W =^

25th M AORIS.2nd Lieut. C. G o ld s m it h .

Company Sergeant-M ajor R . R o y a l .

N.C.O.s and Men.— Corporal I i . E. McGregor. Lance- Corporals N. Tonihi, B. O. M eihana. Privates K. Campbell, R. Cook, J. Coffin, M. Edw ards, P. H ahona, E. Iierew ini, R. H iha, T. I tam ara , G. K araitiana , G. M anson, I i. M ihingarangi, R. Moiehu, W . W . N atanahoia, K. Papanui, M. Pihem a, P. Poum ua, P. Retim ana, H . Smith, Ii. Takotahiw i, P. Toho, R. Topia, L. Te H au, J. T rau , R. Tum atahi, I i. G. W itin itara , H . Zubritzky. Attached, L. Beyl, French Reservist.

NEW Z E A L A N D NURSES.

Sisters Bennett, Barker, Lewis, Dempsey, and H arris.

PA SSEN G ER S.M esdames N. Shelley, E. J. Hanley, Oerton, and D ickie;

Misses B. M ocatto, O ’Dwyer, and D ick ie; Messrs. E. J. H anley and W ilson.

ROYAL FLYING CORPS CADETS.

AMONGST the m em bers of the S e rg ean ts’ Mess are nine cadets of the Royal Flying Corps, known on board as the “ Flying B irds.”

They all had to undergo a course of train ing in New Zealand, culm inating in a stric t te s t in “ solo ” flying, whereby they obtained their aviator certificates.

E ight of the men obtained their “ t ic k e ts ” a t the C anterbury Flying School a t Sockburn, while the rem aining one, Mr. H. H. Smith, who left with the Main Body and was in the landing a t Gallipoli, took his “ ticket ” a t the Auckland School a t Kohi- m aram a.

When they reach E ngland they will report to our High Commissioner, Sir Thom as M ackenzie, and will be sent to one of the various R.F.C. aerodrom es, m ost probably the School of Instruction a t Oxford University. Before finally obtaining commissions they will go to a ’drome to learn “ stu n tin g ,” th a t is, they will learn looping the loop, stalling, vertical banking, and flying upside down. These stun ts a few years ago were considered mere circus tricks, but the w ar has proved them to be absolutely essential in m odern aerial fighting.

Following is a list of the fliers: R. C. Adams (Mount Eden, A uckland), M. L. P. Chapman (Papanui, C hristchurch), H. P. Dalwood (C hristchurch), R. A. G rant (Fairlie, South C an terbury), A. W. Macdonald (Glenlee, Blenheim ), J. D. Sloss (Cheviot, N orth Canterbury}, H. H. Smith (Pahia- tu a ) , J. S. Tem pleton (Spreydon, C hristchurch), M. D. Landenson (Sumner, Christchurch).

OUR SHIP.

One of the best know n of overseas traders before the w ar, our transport has ferried m any thousands of troops across the line since 1914. She was one of the fam ous fleet tha t carried the first Anzacs to Egypt, and has been actively engaged in the transportation of troops ever since. She is com manded by C aptain Evan Davies, and the list o f her officers is as follows :

Chief officer, Mr. I i. A. L earm outh ; 1st officer, Mr. W. H . G/ Y ates; 2nd officer, Mr. C. M utch; 3rd officer, Mr. J. Collins; doctor, D r. R. W. F o rrest; purser, Mr. S. C. J. F reem an-M atthew s; chief engineer, Mr. J. W olfe; 2nd engineer, Mr. C. N ew ton ; 3rd engineer, Mr. L. R. M agness; 4th engineer, Mr. F.. B. B a n k s ; 5th engineer, Mr. S. R ichardson; 6th engineer, Mr. W . R obinson; 1st ref. engineer, Mr. F. W . R an d e ll; 2nd ref. engineer, Mr. J. E. M cLellan; electrician, Mr. T. P hilps; boilerm aker, Mr. H. Eastw ood; 1st M arconi operator, Mr. J. E. W oodw ard; 2nd M arconi operator, Mr. A. L. Johnson; chief stew ard, Mr. A. H . M athew son; and a crew of 150 men.

LEADER : Ringaringa pakia.Ringa pakia, pakia Kia rite.*

C h o r u s : E rite nei H o k i.fL e a d e r : Aa waewae takahia Kia Kino.C h o ru s : E Kino nei hoki.L e a d e r : Ringaringa i torona Kei waho matt tonu.

Tau Ka Tan.J C h o ru s : H ei.LEADER : Tau Ka tau Ki runga o te tinia nei whangaia mai ra. C h o ru s : Nge, nge, nge ara tu.LEADER : Ha whangaia mai.Ch o ru s : Nge, nge, nge ara tu, ara ta, ara tau.L e a d e r : Tahi Ka riri-i toru mai wha.Ch o ru s : Homai ra o Kupu Kia wetewetea, wetewetea aa te,

aa toa, ara tau.L e a d e r : Tera i hapainga.Ch o ru s : Hapainga, hapainga, hapainga he.LEADER : Aha paripari, paripari, paripari te tai Kite pakanga

tera i kuakina.Ch o r u s : Huakina hei.

K A M A T E ,LEADER : Ringaringa pakia.

Ringa pakia, pakia, Kia rite.Ch o r u s : E rite nei hoki.L e a d e r : Aa waewae takahia Kia haruru.C h o r u s : E haruru nei hoki.L e a d e r : Aa Ka mate, Ka mate.Ch o r u s : Ka ora, Ka ora.LEADER : Ka mate, Ka mate.C h o ru s : Ka ora, Ka ora

Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru, naana nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra. Upane, upane, upane Kaupane whiti ra.Hu, ha, Hei.

* Pronounced ree-tay. f Pronounced haw-kee. J Pronounced tah-oo»

TE HUIA HAKA,

47T E 32 TJ I A .

X EL H U I A48

m m : n :

M O G R O W E E N(FINLAYSON’S FAMOUS FUTILE FACE - FUNGUS FERTILISER)

A recently discovered preparation, absolutely harmful, used and recommended by all No. 5 Platoon Officers

and youths of twenty.

MOGROWEEN MOGROWEEN“ Bumper ” Wright's Bete-noire.

MOGROWEEN

*

KGROW ONE NOW. GROW ONE NOW.

Use MOGROWEEN and outrival GHarlie GHaplin.

I f whiskers fail to sprout by the end o f the war your money, on application to the Q.M.G., will be returned with interest.

n o a i t r o w i

The following are a few testimonies i distinguished patrons:

I must recommend your wonderful mixture* Before us team, but since applying my intimate friends call me *[ Am tropical fungi*

Before using your splendid preparation my lip was married and am the envy o fth e officers, N .C .O /s, and m

Great joy! Since using your wonderful ointment extra hairs. K . L* V

Make your upper lip tremble under the glories of a luxuriant growth. There is nothing so becoming in a man as a flowing silken moustache (vide “ Family Novelette ”). It will transform a plain, unattractive face to one full of charm, beauty and ex* pression. It makes a man look so extinguished, so commanding, and oh! so tantalising to the ladies, who are often most fright- fully tickled by it. It clothes a man better than a smile. It can be used as a pen-wiper, a collecting base, or for any other purpose its commander may desire.

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D u n e d in

P u b l ic

L i b r a r y ,

P R E S E N T E D B Y

PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY THE A R G U S P R I N T i N G COMPANY, LIMITED, s 10, TEA\PLE AVENtiE, LONDON, E .C .4, FOR THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE’ OF ** TE HUIA,”

3 3 r d :' . •R-E.IN F O R C E M E N T S /\ N E W Z E A L A N D '

/ EXPEDITIONARY . '.■ FORCE. - ;

FEBRUARY \ 1918

MASSEY’S TOURS, L™

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