WHEN MURDER IS NOT AN OPTIONDealing with Conflict

Business VisionsSandy Ringer502.718.7749

What is Conflict?Definition: A sharp disagreement of opposition of

interests or ideas.

Synonyms include:FightStruggleContention

Organizations need to understand the cause and impact of workplace conflict.

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Sources of ConflictCompetition for limited resources

Competing demands and expectations

Personality clashes / aggressive personalities

Behavior of others

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Sources of Conflict (cont.)

External FactorsPoorly functioning equipmentTime constraintsBadly designed policies / procedures

Internal FactorsDissimilar values / biasesFear of the unfamiliarUnrealistic expectationsInflexibility

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The Value of ConflictIs natural and can be valuableCan be a source of energyIs a result of real differencesDifferent perspectives allow for breakthrough thinkingImproved creativity and problem solvingPositive release of emotion, anxiety and stress

Conflict pushes us to strive for solutions and collaboration.

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Common Responses to ConflictAvoiding

Smoothing

Forcing

Compromising

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DESTRUCTIVE CONFLICT

Reduces cooperation and teamwork

Brings about hostility

Undermines the system and the people within it

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Examples of Destructive ConflictRefusal to cooperateVerbal attacksSabotage of projectsTalking behind another’s back to uninvolved people to

gain support for one’s positionPurposely missing deadlinesMaking deliberate errors in one’s work

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Destructive conflict must be identified and managed to reduce its negative effects.

Unfortunately, the destructive elements of conflict are present simultaneously with its positive or constructive elements – it swirls together!

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Conflict Management Style

What’s Your Conflict Management Style?

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Five Most Common Conflict Management Styles

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ASSER

TIVEN

ESS

ACCOMMODATION

High

LowHigh

Compromise

Win-Lose

Competition

Lose-Win

Accommodation

Win-Win

Collaboration

Lose-Lose

Avoidance

A Win-Win Approach

Typical Tactics- Stating your views about the issue or problem in

clear, nonjudgmental language

- Clarifying the core issues by sorting out areas of agreement from areas of disagreement

- Listening carefully to each person’s point of view

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Factors that De-Escalate TensionFocus on the objective – not the subjective

Listen more – talk less

Don’t put others on the “defensive”

Deal with conflict early

Refuse to “play the game”

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The 10 Most UnwantedAnd

How to Deal With Them!

The 10 Most UnwantedThe TankThe SniperThe Know-It-AllThe Think-They-Know-It-

AllThe Grenade

The Yes PersonThe Maybe PersonThe Nothing PersonThe No PersonThe Whiner

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The Tank Pushy and ruthless, loud and forceful, or with the

quiet intensity and surgical precision of a laser, the task assumes that the end justifies the means. Expect no mercy.

Your goal: Command respect.16

The Sniper This covert operator identifies your weaknesses and

uses them against you, through sabotage behind your back or well-aimed putdowns in front of the crowd.

Your goal: Get all his “snipes” and objections on the table.

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The Know-It-All This person knows 98% of anything. Just ask! They will

tell you what they know – for hours at a time – but won’t take a second to listen to your clearly inferior ideas.

Your goal: To open their mind to new information and ideas.

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The Think-They-Know-It-All This character does not know much, but does not let

that get in the way. Exaggerating, bragging, misleading, and distracting, these legends-in-their-own minds pull you off track.

Your goal: Give their bad ideas the hook, and replace with more acceptable solutions.

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The Grenade They blow their tops, they’re unable to stop, and

shrapnel hits everyone in range. Then the smoke clears, the dust settles, and the cycle begins building to critical mass again.

Your goal: Take control of the situation before the person starts to lose it if possible.

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The “Yes” Person

Quick to agree, slow to deliver, the Yes Person leaves a trail of non-commitments and broken promises. Though they please no one, Yes People over commit to please.

Your goal: Get commitments you can count on, and HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE!

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The “Maybe” Person When faced with a crucial decision, they keep putting it

off until it’s too late - but there comes a point when the decision makes itself. Then, it’s nobody’s fault but their own.

Your goal: Help them think decisively.

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The “Nothing” Person

You won’t know what’s going on because they tell you nothing! No verbal feedback. No nonverbal feedback. They seal their mouths and stare past you as if you’re not there.

Your goal: Persuade the person to talk.

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The “No” Person They say that “What goes up must come down.” And

what comes down must never be allowed to get back up again. Doleful and discouraging, they drive others to despair.

Your goal: Getting them to transition into a problem-solving mode.

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The Whiner

They wallow in their woe, whine incessantly, and carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Your goal: Form a problem-solving alliance.

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In Summary . . .Don’t avoid conflicts – they will always be there!Do understand your personality & ways to deal with

the situation.Use clear communications to deal with conflict.Listen, listen & listen!Learn personalities, and diminish the triggers of

conflict.

Thank you!

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