Managing Difficult Educational Situations. David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School.
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Transcript of Managing Difficult Educational Situations. David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School.
Managing Difficult Educational Situations
David W. Feenstra
Hudsonville High School
You will never know where your influence starts or stops.
You are the Director of first Impressions.
Educational Environment
Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting a Different Outcome.
Don’t Stick It To Yourself
In every situation, ask who is most comfortable and who isleast comfortable.
What are your HOT buttons?
• Always remember that Anger is a Choice.
• You are the Educator.
• You are the Professional.
• They learn by your actions and words.
• Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Schools need to be positive niches- adventageous environments that minimize weaknesses and maximize strengths and thereby help students flourish. Armstrong 2012
A Challenging student provides one of the best means for reaching mastery in our fields- but only when teachers themselves get support and safety, an when they are dealing with situations in isolation. Bensen 2014
You May Not Always be Able to Control What Life Puts in Your Path, But You Can Always Control Who You Are.
Precipitating Factors
Events that occur in our life that effect how
we interact and respond in social settings.
Acting out is usually a symptom of a bigger problem.
People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Identify the Stages of Crisis Development
• Anxiety- notice changes
• Defensive - release and refusal
• Acting Out - Loss of rational thought
• Tension Reduction
• Therapeutic Rapport
Verbal Escalation Continuum
Release
Disrespectful
Refusal
Intimidating
Threatening
The Four D’s of Conflict Intervention
• Develop Positive Relationships.
• Design an Environment for Success
• De-escalating and Defusing
• Debriefing for Rapport
Lose a Battle and Win the War
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than
saved by criticism.
I am Sorry that IT happened.
You acknowledge the perceived problem and ask the person for possible solutions.
Be Professional
• Treat everyone with respect every day, all the time.
• Earn the right to be listened to by listening first.
• Be Non-judgmental.• Never place a negative value on the difficult
person.
Know and Adhere to your Policies and Procedures.
• Crisis Plan is written and practiced.
• Know when and how to engage in a conflict.
• Develop and Maintain Systematic Classroom Procedures.
Develop Positive Relationships with All People .
• Notice them.
• Express a genuine interest in them.
• Research their background.
• Dignify them as Individuals.
• Model the desired behaviors.
Identify the people that are likely to cause you the most frustration.
Make authentic positive contacts home on your three most challenging students.
Empathic Listening
• Rule of three
• Listen carefully to what the person is really saying (focus on feelings, not just facts).
• Allow silence for reflection
• Use restatement to clarify messages
See Anger and Frustration in others as GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES to teach and model NEW ATTITUDES!
MAKE THE POLICY OR THE CONSEQUENCE THE “BAD GUY.”
Share a practical example of this strategy with someone else.
Teaching with Love and Logic
• Show sadness instead of anger.
• Always give the positive choice first and the negative choice second.
• Delayed Consequences - We are going to have to do something about it, but try not to worry about it.
People will not care about how much you know until they know
how much you care for them.
Be more concerned about making people feel good about
themselves than making them feel good about you.
Design an Environment for Success
• Clean Slate• Team Approach - All Staff• Open Door Policy• Accentuate the Positive• Pride-O-Grams• Minimize the Negative
A Good Discipline Plan Allows Students To:
• learn to predict consequences of their behavior ahead of time.
• learn to accept responsibility for the outcomes of their choices.
• learn from their mistakes.
• Attempt to control their OWN behavior instead of that of others.
De-escalating and Defusing
• Active Listening• Use Humor• Be Non-judgmental• Read Between the Lines • Separate Who you are from Who the other person
is during a confrontation.• focus on feelings.
Debrief for Rapport
• Isolate
• Emotional State vs. Thinking State
• Share the Control
• Reality Therapy
• Internal vs. External Locus of Control
Therapeutic Rapport
• Identify threshold stimuli- Cues
• Confront threatening and intimidating statements.
• How do we avoid this conflict in the future?
• What can I do to help you in the future?
• Rational Detachment
People will Change only if we honor who they are now and help them discover how they might become MORE content than who they are now by making some CHANGES.
Choices give people the Opportunity to Make Decisions and Experience Consequences which will Help them feel Empowered and Responsible.
One thing I know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.Albert Schweitzer
Comments, Questions, Hostilities
Identify one thing that you are going to implement to help you to effectively manage difficult people.
LOVE AND LOGIC INSTITUTE
2207 JACKSON STEET
GOLDEN, COLORADO
80401-2300
Jeffrey Bensen
Hanging In
Strategies for Teaching the Students Who Challenge Us Most.