Managing Difficult Educational Situations. David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School.

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Managing Difficult Educational Situations

Transcript of Managing Difficult Educational Situations. David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School.

Page 1: Managing Difficult Educational Situations. David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School.

Managing Difficult Educational Situations

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David W. Feenstra

Hudsonville High School

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You will never know where your influence starts or stops.

You are the Director of first Impressions.

Educational Environment

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Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting a Different Outcome.

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Don’t Stick It To Yourself

In every situation, ask who is most comfortable and who isleast comfortable.

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What are your HOT buttons?

• Always remember that Anger is a Choice.

• You are the Educator.

• You are the Professional.

• They learn by your actions and words.

• Say what you mean and mean what you say.

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Schools need to be positive niches- adventageous environments that minimize weaknesses and maximize strengths and thereby help students flourish. Armstrong 2012

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A Challenging student provides one of the best means for reaching mastery in our fields- but only when teachers themselves get support and safety, an when they are dealing with situations in isolation. Bensen 2014

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You May Not Always be Able to Control What Life Puts in Your Path, But You Can Always Control Who You Are.

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Precipitating Factors

Events that occur in our life that effect how

we interact and respond in social settings.

Acting out is usually a symptom of a bigger problem.

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People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

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Identify the Stages of Crisis Development

• Anxiety- notice changes

• Defensive - release and refusal

• Acting Out - Loss of rational thought

• Tension Reduction

• Therapeutic Rapport

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Verbal Escalation Continuum

Release

Disrespectful

Refusal

Intimidating

Threatening

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The Four D’s of Conflict Intervention

• Develop Positive Relationships.

• Design an Environment for Success

• De-escalating and Defusing

• Debriefing for Rapport

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Lose a Battle and Win the War

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than

saved by criticism.

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I am Sorry that IT happened.

You acknowledge the perceived problem and ask the person for possible solutions.

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Be Professional

• Treat everyone with respect every day, all the time.

• Earn the right to be listened to by listening first.

• Be Non-judgmental.• Never place a negative value on the difficult

person.

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Know and Adhere to your Policies and Procedures.

• Crisis Plan is written and practiced.

• Know when and how to engage in a conflict.

• Develop and Maintain Systematic Classroom Procedures.

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Develop Positive Relationships with All People .

• Notice them.

• Express a genuine interest in them.

• Research their background.

• Dignify them as Individuals.

• Model the desired behaviors.

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Identify the people that are likely to cause you the most frustration.

Make authentic positive contacts home on your three most challenging students.

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Empathic Listening

• Rule of three

• Listen carefully to what the person is really saying (focus on feelings, not just facts).

• Allow silence for reflection

• Use restatement to clarify messages

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See Anger and Frustration in others as GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES to teach and model NEW ATTITUDES!

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MAKE THE POLICY OR THE CONSEQUENCE THE “BAD GUY.”

Share a practical example of this strategy with someone else.

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Teaching with Love and Logic

• Show sadness instead of anger.

• Always give the positive choice first and the negative choice second.

• Delayed Consequences - We are going to have to do something about it, but try not to worry about it.

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People will not care about how much you know until they know

how much you care for them.

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Be more concerned about making people feel good about

themselves than making them feel good about you.

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Design an Environment for Success

• Clean Slate• Team Approach - All Staff• Open Door Policy• Accentuate the Positive• Pride-O-Grams• Minimize the Negative

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A Good Discipline Plan Allows Students To:

• learn to predict consequences of their behavior ahead of time.

• learn to accept responsibility for the outcomes of their choices.

• learn from their mistakes.

• Attempt to control their OWN behavior instead of that of others.

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De-escalating and Defusing

• Active Listening• Use Humor• Be Non-judgmental• Read Between the Lines • Separate Who you are from Who the other person

is during a confrontation.• focus on feelings.

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Debrief for Rapport

• Isolate

• Emotional State vs. Thinking State

• Share the Control

• Reality Therapy

• Internal vs. External Locus of Control

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Therapeutic Rapport

• Identify threshold stimuli- Cues

• Confront threatening and intimidating statements.

• How do we avoid this conflict in the future?

• What can I do to help you in the future?

• Rational Detachment

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People will Change only if we honor who they are now and help them discover how they might become MORE content than who they are now by making some CHANGES.

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Choices give people the Opportunity to Make Decisions and Experience Consequences which will Help them feel Empowered and Responsible.

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One thing I know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.Albert Schweitzer

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Comments, Questions, Hostilities

Identify one thing that you are going to implement to help you to effectively manage difficult people.

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Dr. Todd Whitacker

[email protected]

www.eyeoneducation.com

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LOVE AND LOGIC INSTITUTE

2207 JACKSON STEET

GOLDEN, COLORADO

80401-2300

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Jeffrey Bensen

Hanging In

Strategies for Teaching the Students Who Challenge Us Most.