Male & Female Relationships

Our TextEphesians 5:21-33

Overview

• One blessing of marriage isgrowing more into the image ofChrist (v23, 24, 25, 29, 32)

• But it’s NOT EASY!

Men and Women are Different

Our brains are wired differently!

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Buying shoes at SM

Men: In and out!

Women: With friends; all day;social occasion!

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Doing things

Men: Focused! One-box!

Women: Multi-tasking!

A man watches boxing on TV while awoman can talk on the phone, take care ofthe kids, text, and cook at the same time!

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Lost!

Men: Will NOT ask directions

Women: Will ask directions

Men and Women are Different!

Example: How was your day?

Men: Okay . . .

Women: Oh, it was very interesting. Imet Betty at the market and we talkedabout … then as I was going home I sawJona and we talked for a few minutes …etc., etc.,etc.

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Problems

Men: Quiet

Women: Talk!

Woman to man: “Why won’t youtalk to me!?

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Problems

Men: Forget it!

Women: I can’t forget it!

Woman to man: “Why won’t youtalk to me!?

Men and Women are Different!

Example: Movies

Men: Action-Adventure. Hoo-hoo! Kill-em!! Oh ya!!

Women: Love stories. Uhh-huhuh!! He really does love her!

Women GIVE, men TAKEWomen: Cook Men: Eat!

Women GIVE, men TAKEWomen: Give up money Men: Buy!

Women GIVE, men TAKEWomen: Give hearts Men: Take sex

Women give compliments, Men insult each other

You look great!

Your dress is so nice!

Man, your head looks like a cue ball!Dude, you

laugh like a hyena!

Men, like hunters know how to catch their prey

One possibility…

Another …

Let’s look at how we can have

healthier, happier relationships

Context of Ephesians1.You must be born again (1)

2.Filled with the Spirit (18)

3.Submitting to one another (21)

Wives1. Submit (yield to) to your own

husband as unto the Lord (22,24)

• An act of worship• God’s divine order• Make your husband feel as if he is

the head of your family–NOT an excuse for the husband to

RULE over his wife!

Wives2. Give reverence to your

husband (33)

• Men want respect more than love!

• Do NOT shame (embarrass) him

• He wants to be valued

Husbands1. Love your wife (25)

• An act of worship

• She wants to know that she’sloved

• Love has a short memory

• Give her your devotion

• Flirt with HER only!

A three-fold love:

1.A sacrificial love

2.A sanctifying love

3.A secure love

A sacrificial love (25):• Christ gave Himself

• Dying to self does not meanonly die for your wife, but todie to self.

– Sacrifice what YOU want forwhat SHE needs

A sanctifying love (26-27):

• She’s supposed to be abetter person and a betterChristian because she ismarried to you

• Your love lifts her up NOTdrag her down

A secure love (28-29):• It’s okay for her to have a badhair day sometimes

• It’s okay if she burns the tilapiasometimes

• It’s okay if she’s overweight orhas stretch marks, etc.

• There is NO FEAR in LOVE(1John 4:18)

Husbands2. Lead your wife (23-24)

–You are the leader!

–She will follow a man who loves her

– Jesus washed the disciples’ feet.

–A difference between BOSS andLEADER

• go vs. let’s go

Husbands3. Leave and cleave (31)

– Leave = loyalty to her FIRST– Cleave = unity with HER

• NOT momma• NOT old friends

– Your relationship is the highest humanrelationship• If he is always thinking about SERVICE,

then he isn’t thinking about YOU– You are his FIRST ministry!

Husbands4. Nourish and cherish your

wife (28-29)

–Nourish = to feed (physicalneeds)

–Cherish = to warm (emotionalneeds)

“As his own flesh” (28-29)

• When you are tired you rest

• When you want something, youget it

• When you want to buysomething, you buy it

• What about your wife?

Housewife1. She is NOT just a housewife

2. She is a HOUSEWIFE

– Budgets, daycare, teacher, chef,cleaner, nurse, doctor, foodgatherer, and more

“As his own flesh”

• Men, you have aresponsibility to take care ofyourself …

• So that you can take bettercare of your wife!

What does a woman want?

1. Security

A. To feel safe in a man’s love

I. This is why it hurts a woman sodeeply when a man cheats on her

II. She needs to KNOW that she isloved ( a hug, a kiss, an unexpectedgift, a comment, a text, …)

What does a woman want?2. Protection

A. PhysicalI. The idea of the macho guyII. From harm

B. SpiritualI. From bad doctrine

a. Adam & Evei. The woman was deceived

C. EmotionalI. From heartbreak

What does a woman want?3. Provision

A. A HOMEI. Not just a houseII. An environment offering affection

and security

B. The man to have a JOB with steadyINCOME

C. Things she NEEDS to do her part(e.g. stove, washing machine,plates, tablet pc, etc.)

How can men and women communicate better?

1. Women, get the man’s attentionFIRST, then speak

2. Women, give the man encouragingwords

A. Give him respect

B. Build him up!

3. Women, understand that the man isNOT concerned with details

How can men and women communicate better?

1. Men, stop what you are doing, facethe woman and pay attention to her

2. Men, remind the woman of yourlove

A. Not just words, but by doing as sheasks; by granting her requests

3. Men, understand that the womanwants to share in the man’s world

Conclusion of the matter1. Men and women are different2. So GOD gave us instructions how to

have right relationshipsA. And if we follow them, our

relationships will improve

3. But it is a challenge!4. Marriage is another way for

spiritually healthy, Christian coupleto be conformed to the image ofChrist

To be conformed to the image of Christ is how we can worship God in

marriage

WOMEN: Through submission andreverence to your own husband

MEN: Through loving, cherishing,devotion to, and care for yourwife.

“As Christ … the church”

THE END

I will gladly come and teach this in

any church or group

NEXT: Lesson 1

Foundations

FUTURE: AttractionGod’s Will

DatingMistakesMarriage

Raising Children