Components of

Marriage

Dr. Ama Kyerewaa Edwin

outline

1. What is marriage

2. Purpose of marriage

3. Components of a great

marriage

What is Marriage?

• Marriage is a covenant relationship designed

by God:

• It is the strongest covenant on earth

between two people.

• The pledge of a man and woman to

establish a love that is unconditional and

lasts a lifetime.

Purpose of Marriage

1. To experience companionship

2. To value others

3. To walk in unity

4. To grow in fruitfulness/synergy

5. To give love and protection

6. To raise children

a great marriage

Components of a great marriage

Components of a great marriage

FOUNDATION

Self-giving love• A lasting marriage must

be built on a sure

foundation that will not

rot, erode or wear away

over time.

• The only sure foundation

for a lifelong marriage is

agape – the self-giving

love that has its source

and origin in God

•

Love is patient

• Patience is where love

meets wisdom.

• Patience doesn’t

rush to judgment

Love is kind

• Kindness – love in action

1.Gentleness

2.Helpfulness

3.Willingness

4.Initiative

Love does not envy

• Illegitimate jealousy (to be

moved with envy)

• We complete each other and not

compete each other.

Love is not rude

• Rudeness usually results from

ignorance and selfishness

1.Guard the golden rule

2.No double standards

3.Honour requests

Love is not self seeking

1. Do I truly want what’s best for my

loved one?

2. Do I want them to feel loved by me?

3. Do they believe I have their best

interest in mind

4. Do they see me as looking out for

myself first?

Love is thoughtful

• Love thinks.

• It knows that loving thoughts

precede loving actions.

Love is not easily angered

• Irritability results from stress and selfishness

• Stress:

1.Excessive causes

2.Deficiencies

• Selfishness

1.Lemons

2.Peaches

Love keeps no record of wrongs

• Forgiveness is essential for any

successful relationship

• A great relationship does not result

from never hurting each other.

• It results from choosing not to keep

a ―record of wrongs‖

Love rejoices with the truth

• Love rejoices in the things that

are true

• Use your influence to lead your

loved ones to be true to

themselves and others

Love always protects

• Your relationship needs to be protected from

– Harmful influences

– Unhealthy relationships

– Shame

– Parasites

• Guard your heart/home

Love believes the best

• Appreciation room

• Depreciation room

• Love chooses to believe the best and gives the benefit of the doubt.

Love endures

• Of all the things

love dares to do,

this is the ultimate.

• Love endures

through thick and

thin.

Pillars of marriage

Pillars of marriage

• Having a common purpose

• Having a common pool of resources

• Having knowledge and

understanding

• Having fellowship

Common purpose

• Can two walk together except they

agree?

• Marriage is like a journey.

• You cannot travel in different directions.

• The 3 Ms

1. Master

2. Mission

3. Mate

Common purpose

Common resources

Common resources• See the bigger picture

• KSA =

– Knowledge

– Skill

– Abilities

manage resources

knowledge & understanding

• Men and women are different

• We have to understand our differences

and live with each other according to

knowledge.

• Love is making a commitment to meet

the needs of another person.

knowledge & understanding

Male Needs

1. Sexual fulfillment

2. Recreational

companionship;

3. Attractive woman

4. Domestic support

5. Admiration and

respect;

Female needs

1. Affection

2. Communication and

conversation

3. Honesty and openness

4. Financial support

5. Family commitment.

Dr Myles Munroe

knowledge & understanding

Men

• A logical thinker

• Language spoken is

an expression of

what he is thinking.

• Language that is

heard by a man is

the receiving of

information.

Women

• An emo­tional feeler.

• Language spoken is

an expression of what

she is feeling.

• Language that is

heard by a woman is

an emotional

experience.

Dr Myles Munroe

knowledge & understanding

Men

• Tend to take

everything personally.

• In material things men

want to know the

details of how to get

there.

• In intangible things,

men look at goals.

Women

• Tend to take

everything I

• In material things,

women tend to look at

goals only.

• In intangible things

women want to know

how to get there.

Dr Myles Munroe

knowledge & understanding

Men

• A man's mind is like

a filing cabinet.

• A man's job is an

extension of his

personality.

• Men can be

nomadic.

Women • A woman's mind is like

a computer.

• A woman's home is an

extension of her

personality.

• Women need security

and roots.

Dr Myles Munroe

knowledge & understanding

Men

• Men are stable and

level off.

• Men tend to stand

back and evaluate

before they get

involved.

• Men need to be told

again and again.

Women • Women are always

changing

• Women tend to become

involved more easily

and more quickly than

men do.

• Women never forget.

Dr Myles Munroe

knowledge & understanding

Men

• Men tend to

remember the gist

of things rather than

the details.

• Males are givers by

nature

Women

• Women tend to

remember the details

and sometimes distort

the gist.

• Females are receivers

by nature

Dr Myles Munroe

Fellowship

• Communication

• Sexual Intimacy

Communication

• True communication can occur only

in an environ­ment conducive to

honest self-expression.

• Genuine communication requires

both speaking and understanding.

Communication

• To communicate is to transmit

information, thought, or feeling so

that it is satisfactorily re­ceived or

understood.

• The key to communication is

understanding, and the key to

understanding is listening.

Communication

• Good listening involves reaching

beyond our filters to hear what other

people are really saying

–Not only with their words,

–But also with their tone of voice

–Their facial expressions

–And their body language.

Communication• Effective face-to-face

communication is

always holistic in

nature.

• It involves all the

senses and the full

engagement of body,

intellect, and mental

energy.

Communication

Communication

• How someone else perceives

and understands us depends on

• 7 % on what we say (words)

• 38 % on how we say it, (tone)

• 55 % on what we are doing (body

language) when we say it.

Communication

• One sign of a healthy and growing

relationship is a deepening level of

intimacy in the interaction and

communication of those involved in the

relationship.

• One way to define intimacy is the

willingness and trust to make oneself

completely open and vulnerable

Sexual Intimacy• Sex is not love.

• Sex is an appetite.

• Sex is for procreation.

• Sex is for recreation and release.

• Sex is for communication.

Sexual Intimacy• Sexual fulfillment and happiness in

marriage depend on an open, loving,

accepting, and affirming environment in

which each spouse feels comfortable

making his or her needs and desires

known to the other.

• A solid guiding principle for all of life,

including sexual behavior, is to ask the

question, "Does it edify?"

Lovemaking Cycle

Roof – friendship

Roof – friendship • A husband and wife should be each

other's best friend.

• True friendship transcends and rises

above even the ties of family

relationships.

• Openness and transparency are marks

of true friendship.

• Friends are open and honest with each

other.

Roof - friendship

• Friendship between a husband and

wife, with its characteristic honesty and

openness, is absolutely essential for a

happy, successful, and thriving

marriage.

• Friendship is the catalyst that ultimately

will fuse a husband and wife into one

like a precious gem.

leak proof your marriage

leakproofing• One excellent way to keep a marriage

alive and vital and exciting is for the

husband and wife both to be

spontaneous at times—to do something

unexpected.

• Honest love and appreciation are the

lifeblood of a happy marriage.

• Love needs to be expressed regularly

and often; it should never be assumed.

Leak-proofing• Paying little attentions will help keep

romance and the spirit of courtship

alive in the relationship, even after

many years of marriage.

• Above all, always be courteous.

Sealing the leaks

Sealing the leaks

• Avoid criticism.

–By its nature criticism is destructive

because it focuses on finding fault

with the intention of hurting rather

than of finding a solution.

–Seek solutions instead.

• Avoid taking each other for granted

Take home Message• Building a great

marriage is like

building a home

Take home MessageSometimes you may

not see the beauty in

the process

But keep working at

it, can be beautiful

if you work at it.

Thank you