MAKING KIDS lives BETTER

The Official Newsletter of the Children’s Protection Society

October 2017

273 Settlement Road Thomastown VIC 3074 | ph: 03 9450 0900 | e: cps@cps.org.au | w: www.cps.org.au

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Mentoring Mums is an early intervention and prevention program working with the most vulnerable and expectant mothers. Mums who participate in the program come from diverse backgrounds and are experiencing a degree of social isolation and vulnerability.

Mentors are volunteers who are mothers themselves and come from a broad cross section of the community. They are the mothers of young children, grandmothers, working mums and have a vast range of experience including nursing, social work, teaching, early education and their own personal experiences of being a mum.

Volunteer Mentors are recruited and undergo induction and comprehensive training that covers topics such as; child development, attachment and bonding, child abuse and reporting, communication, family violence, post-natal depression and child vehicle safety.

The Mentor works with mum to build a trusting and consistent relationship, visiting her at home and spending time getting to know her and her child. Mentors support mum in her parenting role and assists in connecting her to the community, encouraging access to health services, maternal and child health programs, parenting services and other community groups.

For more information about our Mentoring Mum’s visit www.cps.org.au/mentor

EVERYONE NEEDS THEIR MUM - A NEW LIFE, A NEW HOPE

YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCEOur goal is to raise $30,000 which could…

•Fund the whole program for 3 months, or; •Fund the mentors’ expenses for 2 years (e.g. petrol money, car seats, and social inclusions for mums such as outings to play centres, children’s farms, playgroups, coffee catch-ups), or; •Fund the recruitment of 7 more volunteer mentors to support another 7 vulnerable mums every year A $100 donation could… •Provide a fortnight’s baby formula and nappies for one infantA $200 donation could… •Provide a car seat to facilitate transporting mum and baby to appointmentsA $1500 donation could… •Train 6 new volunteer mentors for the program

You can support the campaign by making a donation by visiting: www.cps.org.au/mentor

In the final weeks of her first pregnancy, Donna* was all alone in a foreign land with no family. She was unable to travel with partner Greg*, back home to be with his father (diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour). Adding further stress to the couple’s situation was an unsympathetic landlord’s eviction notice.

Did I mention Donna and Greg’s history of anxiety and depression and consequent high risk of post-natal depression?

One of these factors alone would see the average mum-to-be drowning in despair. Thankfully, a life raft presented when a midwife from the Mercy Hospital encouraged her to contact CPS’ Mentoring Mums program. As is the way, Donna was carefully matched with a compatible mentor. Her first meeting with Meghan* occurred after an anti-natal appointment. They shared information and they clicked immediately. Having given birth to three children in the same hospital, Meghan was a wealth of positive stories, boosting Donna’s confidence as the big day drew nearer.

Donna’s birth to baby Emily* went smoothly and video of the baby was Skyped to Greg’s ailing dad. Everyone had been waiting for this day. An incomprehensibly bittersweet day when Greg’s father died that very afternoon. As Donna’s partner grappled with disparate feelings of joy and grief, at least she had a practical support to help guide her through a tumultuous period in their family’s lives.

“My mentoring mum has been such a fantastic guide for my first year of motherhood. I have a new supportive relationship with my Mentoring Mum,” reported Donna.

Donna and Greg being the first couple to have a baby in their friendship group further enhanced the value of “awesome” Meghan’s presence. Donna has spoken of how “really easy it is to freak a new mum out” and the reassurance of the advice and support of someone so experienced as a mother on everyday yet vital matters such as feeding and nappy rash. The consistency of the same volunteer throughout the first year of Emily’s life was also comforting, given Donna’s various medical staff and nurses. “All children are different and she is just fine,” Donna is happy to report. We are happy to report Donna is also doing just fine, becoming a socially well connected mum, belonging to a mother’s group and even instigating and leading her own playgroup. She knows her neighbours and has become a community strength. “I would like to join the program as a mentor when my little one is older,” said Donna when her official partnering with Meghan closed early this year. We’d love to have you on board too Donna, you have quite the journey to share.

* Names and pictures have been changed to protect the Identity of the individual and family.

A FAMILY’S ROAD TO RECOVERYMore often than not, clients referred to CPS Family Services are dealing with a complex bundle of problems. From a distance they might seem unrelated, however one commonly spawns another and feeds into the next Unpacking the source and finding a way to untangle the mess is what our passionate and experienced Family Services team does.

When Jane Smith* and her two children Ewen* and Tom* were referred by the Department of Human Services to CPS for the first time 8 years ago, their lives resembled a kid’s knotted shoe lace. At the crux of it all was significant family violence by the children’s father. Besides Type 1 diabetes, Jane suffered from anorexia.

Her physical and mental health were such that she didn’t want to live, nor did she wish to die. Jane’s self-care was non-existent and often spent short periods in hospital. Whilst Jane had left the father, safety concerns saw the maternal grandmother become the children’s carer.

CPS Family Services supported her and the children until Jane was in a better space to prioritise her children (with support and advocacy from multiple services, including CPS Family Services). Once reunified they stayed at the grandmother’s home. For a long time Jane and her kids slept in the same room, often in the same bed, due to trauma induced fear.

Yet despite an IVO, the father continued to stalk, verbally abuse and harass Jane whilst sometimes gaining access to her children. With significant support from her Family Services worker, Jane was eventually offered a two storey Office of Housing unit. Whilst eager to move in, the trauma hadn’t moved out – the kids too scared and anxious to sleep upstairs in their rooms. Ewen and Tom (one year apart) continued sleeping together in their mother’s bed for the 2½ years they lived there. Jane’s battles continued.

In addition to coping with her own past trauma and anger, there was the negative behaviour of her two children in addition to meeting their needs on a limited budget and with a Centrelink debt. At least Ewen and Tom were overcoming the odds at school winning the principals student of the year award in grade six.

Several CPS Family Services workers supported Jane over the years, particularly through transitional stages and especially difficult times. Besides imperative advocacy and referrals to other service providers, CPS assisted Jane with parenting information, discussions around age appropriate discipline and consequences, consultations to manage past trauma and educational and social support for the children.

Now living in another unit, both (now adolescent) children are sleeping in their own rooms in their own beds. With funding successfully applied for by Family Services, Jane had the necessary driving lessons to obtain her license. She is funding her own car and enjoying a life-changing sense of independence. Despite being diagnosed with Grave’s disease, Jane is maintaining her physical health and has her diabetes under control. A financial counsellor helped Jane with her Centrelink debt which is being resolved.

Crucially, we are happy to report violence has finally left the Smiths’ home. With most practical and basic emotional needs met Family Services is preparing to close the Smiths’ file, though CPS’ Sexual Abuse Counselling and Prevention Program will have a role to play in providing further counselling to advance the healing process. For now we can celebrate the difference the holistic approach of our Family Services has made, and the efforts by Jane and her family, to make their lives better.

For more information about our program visit www.cps.org.au/familyservices

* Names and pictures have been changed to protect the Identity of the individual and family.

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Recently Hassan’s father became her full-time carer. Though clearly sceptical of the program at the outset, Hassan quickly demonstrated an ability to self-reflect and take ownership of fathering behaviours best left in the past. The group saw an openness to discuss the neglect for his older children and his attempts to provide Lucy a different experience. Besides addressing his substance use issues,

Hassan plans ahead for being with her so he can provide nutritious food and quality time playing with and praising her. He also makes a point of talking positively to Lucy about her mother. For Hassan, the impact of Caring Dads has been profound. This includes a deeper understanding of the broad range of behaviours that family violence encompasses and its effects on women and children.

The group dynamic also played a role when another member convinced Hassan to accept Caring Dads is about owning and addressing their attitudes and behaviour. The group also helped Hassan confront the shame he repressed in relation to the way he treated his children.

Consequently he plans to access individual counselling to further process this. Hassan has since reported to the Caring Dads team that not only has the program helped him become a better father, but also a better person.

We wish Hassan all the best in his endeavours to make up for lost time and be a true caring dad.

For more information about our program visit www.caringdads.org.au

Each year children are granted the opportunity to develop the skills required to be safe in and around water through water exploration and familiarisation.

The swimming program at Banyule Olympic Leisure Centre in Heidelberg West offers children the opportunity to develop these life skills at their own pace in a safe and supported program taught by experienced and qualified swimming teachers. Over the past couple of years the program has been generously supported by local businesses in providing financial support for the children to be involved and learn how to swim, this year we haven’t been able to find funding support for the program.

Our goal is to raise $700.00 so that we can provide 11 children with a 1 hour swimming lesson per week for 6 weeks.

A $20 donation could… •Provide two children with an 1 hours swimming lessonA $50 donation could… •Provide five children with an 1 hour swimming lesson

You can support the campaign by making a donation at www.cps.org.au/swimming

CPS’ ground-breaking Early Years Education Program (EYEP) for children aged 0 - 5 years and families facing significant family stress and social disadvantage provides intensive academic and emotional support over a 3 year period. Only clients who’ve experienced at least two sources of vulnerability meet the EYEP’s research guidelines, be it the likes of substance abuse, parental mental illness, family violence, family trauma (e.g. refugee families) or teenage parentage.

An important element of the EYEP is providing opportunities for children to develop their physical attributes via sport and swimming, the latter also providing crucial training around water safety. For more information about our program visit www.cps.org.au/earlylearning

HEALTHY MINDS NEED HEALTHY BODIES

SPLISH SPLASH

Since 2010, for one term each year children across the whole Centre have had the opportunity to partake in a weekly sports incursion. Learning about physical fitness is an integral part of developing a child’s wellbeing and self con-fidence. The sports program focuses on children gaining confidence and improvement in the following key areas:

• Balance and co-ordination

• Hand-eye-foot co-ordination

• Core body strength

• Feeling of belonging to team/group, self esteem

• Fine/gross motor development Our goal is to raise $1000.00 so that we can provide 11 children with a sports program of 8 weeks.

You can support the campaign by making a donation by visiting: www.cps.org.au/sports

SPORTS PROGRAM

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HASSAN EMBRACES CHANGE

* Names and pictures have been changed to protect the Identity of the individual and family.

Raised in Melbourne by Turkish parents,

Hassan* witnessed and experienced family violence during his childhood. As can be the case, in his 20’s Hassan started using drugs to paper over the trauma. In his 30’s Hassan’s life took more wrong turns; drug trafficking then five years ago an addiction to speed, then ice (used regularly with then partner Simone*, mother of his 7 year old daughter Lucy*).

Now 44, Hassan has just completed the Caring Dads program after referral by Lucy’s Protective Worker. Hassan has another three children (aged 9, 12 and 14) with former partner Jo*. In the Caring Dads group therapy sessions he conceded drugs, and other factors, significantly impacted his fathering abilities.

Hassan admitted being equally neglectful of Jo. Despite broken promises, a failure to spend quality time with them and even a 12 month stretch in prison, until joining Caring Dads Hassan blamed her for his lack of contact with them. Hassan’s challenge is two-fold. Foremost is repairing his relationship with Lucy. Admittedly physically and emotionally abusive towards Simone during their relationship, at the Caring Dads assessment Hassan was initially unable to identify the effect on his daughter.

He found the Caring Dads focus on fathers’ abusive behaviour confronting, having experienced violence and aggression from his mother and Simone (who passed away after their relationship ended). Whilst satisfying Child Protection expectations was his initial motivation to participate in Caring Dads,

Hassan demonstrated considerable growth - a genuine desire to make things right, or at least better. A commitment evidenced by attempts to also reconnect with his eldest daughter. Hassan continues working with Child Protection with the aim of regaining care of Lucy and currently lives with his father, step-mother and five half siblings. During the course of Caring Dads he enjoyed increased unsupervised contact with Lucy.

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You can help vulnerable members of the community by making a donation, supporting a campaign, a bequest or by starting your own social fundraising page for CPS to help keep our essentials services going.

Mentoring Mums needs your help, to donate to our Mentoring Mums campaign online please visit

www.cps.org.au/mentor

We thank you for supporting the Children’s Protection Society. Financial contributions to our programs are gratefully received.

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Children’s Protection Society, 273 Settlement Road Thomastown VIC 3074. Donations of $2 and over are tax deductible.

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