Love the Life You Live - Hart Life Coaching

Love the Life You Live

Ten Step Workbook

Anne Hartley

HAR042Workbook 14/6/01 9:46 AM

2 LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE: TEN STEP WORKBOOK

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievalsystem,transmitted in any form or by any means,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Hart Publishing PtyLtd.This copyright will be strictly enforced.

This program has been developed for the express purpose of assisting individuals toachieve their goals, however we accept no responsibility for your failure to do so. Anyopinions expressed by life coaches presenting this program not contained in this work-book do not necessarily reflect those of Hart Publishing or Hart Life Coaching.

©1999 Hart Life Coaching

(a division of Hart Publishing Pty Ltd ACN 002 391 086,ABN 52 002 391 086)

P O Box 687

Dee Why NSW 2099

AUSTRALIA

Tel: 02 9940 1575

Fax: 02 9940 2091

Email: [email protected]

ISBN 0 957 8237 2 X


Contents

How to use the workbook

Do you love the life you live?

Step One Break free from the influence of the tribe

Step Two Know who you want to be

Step Three Choose what makes you happy

Step Four You create your life with your thoughts, words and actions

Step Five Face your fears

Step Six Create from within first

Step Seven Success lies in your daily habits

Step Eight Allow no doubt

Step Nine Love and respect yourself

Step Ten You can have everything you want when you don’t need it

3LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE: TEN STEP WORKBOOK


How to use this workbookIt’s easy to attend a course, read a book or listen to a cassette and be inspired by thecontent, but inspiration alone won’t change your life. In order to create a life that youreally love you need to do more than just think positively, you need to live consciouslyevery day.

My purpose in creating the Ten Step program and this workbook is to give you somevery practical tools to work with on a daily basis.

Please note that while this workbook gives a brief explanation of each step, it does notgo into the same depth of explanation as my book. This workbook is meant to be acompanion to my book, Love The Life You Live.

To obtain the best results I suggest that you use the book and workbook together.TheLove The Life You Live cassette can then be used to reinforce these steps.

Over the coming weeks as you work through the exercises you will need to think aboutwhat you want and who you want to be.This awareness is vital in order to break free ofpast conditioning.You will also be encouraged to establish new habits—ones that sup-port the life you really want to live.

The best way to work through this book is slowly, working on one step for a week at atime. If you prefer to complete the program in less time I suggest a minimum time of sixweeks.

It’s taken a lifetime to create your life as it is now.A little time spent now will assist youin establishing values and habits that will add to your personal happiness.

Sometimes the task of changing your whole life can be daunting, so a good idea is tofocus on one area of your life at a time.As you work through the exercises your wholelife will improve automatically.

Complete the quiz on page 7.This will give you a starting point.The area with the low-est score is usually the place to begin.Then move on to Step One, complete the exer-cises and work on the “To do”List at the end of that step.

At the end of each day review how much progress you’ve made by completing the dailychecklist.

It’s important not to judge or criticise yourself.This is your opportunity to choose what’smost important to you so that you can make conscious choices.Be gentle with yourselfbut persistent.When you have acted a certain way for a lifetime it takes time to developnew habits.

After a week, or when you feel comfortable with a step move on to the next one, andrepeat the process.

You have your dreams for a reason: your dreams help you to develop valuable life skillsand to grow as a person. Creating a life that you love can be a lot of work initially, butit’s also a lot of fun. Enjoy the journey.

Anne Hartley




Tick statements that apply to you.

Money❏ I pay my bills on time❏ I save regularly❏ I never receive letters from debt collectors❏ I have savings/investments❏ I own my home❏ I have a financial plan❏ I save into superannuation❏ My income is consistent❏ I am not embarrassed to see anyone

because I owe them money❏ I know how much I am worth❏ I am paid what I am worth❏ I don’t lose sleep worrying about money❏ I have 3 months living expenses I can access❏ I live within my means❏ I know where my money goes❏ I don’t have any judgements against me❏ I always have money I can access❏ I have a good credit record❏ I don’t experience financial crises❏ I know how much credit really costs me

____Total score

Work❏ I enjoy going to work❏ I am doing what I love❏ I am appreciated at work❏ I am kind to others❏ I am organised❏ I like the people that I work with❏ I am well paid❏ I am paid what I deserve❏ I know what work I want to do❏ I would work for nothing if I had to❏ I work regular hours❏ My work allows time for leisure/fun❏ I feel good at the end of the day❏ I have no conflicts with workmates❏ I have no conflicts with clients❏ I am happy to go home at the end of the day❏ I am happy to do more than I am paid for ❏ I am not constantly managing crises❏ I am considerate of others❏ My work does not create undue stress

____Total Score

Relationships❏ I get along well with most people❏ I get along well with my workmates❏ I get along well with my family❏ I tell people that I love them regularly❏ There is no-one I dread running into❏ I have made amends with people I have had

conflicts with❏ I can talk about my feelings❏ I am told regularly that I am loved❏ I do not criticise others❏ I like the people I spend time with❏ I don’t talk about my friends❏ I have friends that I can talk to ❏ I put people before things❏ I always keep my word❏ I have forgiven those who have

hurt/offended me❏ I ask for what I want❏ I make time for the important relationships ❏ I spend time with my children❏ I tell my children/partner/those close to me

regularly that I love them❏ I do not expect others to fulfil my needs

____Total score

Lifestyle❏ I make time to meditate/relax daily❏ I exercise regularly❏ I eat healthy food❏ I don’t take drugs❏ I don’t smoke❏ I look after myself❏ I make time for the things that I enjoy❏ My environment is the way I like it❏ I look the way I want to look❏ I treat myself the way I want to be treated❏ I can relax ❏ I like where I live❏ I surround myself with things that I love❏ I am in good health❏ I enjoy my leisure time❏ I make time for fun❏ I have hobbies that I enjoy❏ I give back to the community❏ I take regular holidays❏ I enjoy being me

____Total score

Do You Love The Life You Live?


Summary of Step One

Break free from the influence of the tribeWhen I talk about ‘the tribe’ I am referring to people such as family, friends, work-mates,religious groups and society as a whole that we are all influenced by.It’s fromthe tribe that you’ve acquired your beliefs, values and the rules that you live by.

Everyone has a story. Most people come from dysfunctional families, most peoplehave never been taught how to create a life they love.Your choice at this point is toreassess your entire life and to choose beliefs,values,rules and habits that will assistyou in creating a life that you love.

BeliefsYour beliefs are a direct result of conditioning—until you make conscious choicesas to whether they are valid for you or not.

Limiting beliefs are ones that make it hard for you to create the life you really want.

The good news is that what happened in your past doesn’t have to be a part of yourfuture.Your future is shaped now,in this very moment,by the choices that you maketoday.

RulesYour rules are the standards of behaviour that you find acceptable or unacceptableand just like beliefs and values, rules are generally not a conscious choice but area result of your conditioning.

Another way to describe rules is your expectations.The expectations that you placeupon others and yourself and on what you need,will play a large part in how happyor unhappy you will be.



Step One

Break free from the influence of the tribeTo create a life you love, you need to break free from the influence of the tribe.To dothis,you need to separate emotionally from it.This doesn’t necessarily mean leaving thetribe. Separating emotionally means being free to make your own decisions based onwho you are and what you want from life—not based on what you are told or whatother people will think of you.

To discover how much your choices are influenced by what other people maythink of you tick the box for the statement that describes you best:When my ideas are not accepted by others I feel upset. Yes ❏ No ❏

I get upset when someone comments negatively on my appearance. Yes ❏ No ❏

I feel upset when others criticise me. Yes ❏ No ❏

I often try to impress others by looking good. Yes ❏ No ❏

When I receive praise for my work (achievement of some kind).I tell everyone about it. Yes ❏ No ❏

When I don’t receive acknowledgment I feel upset. Yes ❏ No ❏

I sometimes brag about my children’s intelligence. Yes ❏ No ❏

I sometimes brag about what I have. Yes ❏ No ❏

I pretend that I am better off than I am. Yes ❏ No ❏

I pretend that I am more successful than I am. Yes ❏ No ❏

At work I would prefer to have a title to a pay increase. Yes ❏ No ❏

I like to be different to everyone else. Yes ❏ No ❏

I worry about how things look. Yes ❏ No ❏

I refuse to conform. Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you ever say anything like:But what will people think? Yes ❏ No ❏

I’ll look like a fool. Yes ❏ No ❏

You’ll think I’m awful. Yes ❏ No ❏

I’ll look like an idiot if I change my mind again. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate how much you’re influenced by the tribe.



We are all influenced by others to some extent,however it’s important that you take noteof what’s really important to you.When you know this you can then make your choicesbased on your desires and needs; and not on what other people may think of you.

When you need to be praised or noticed; when you are afraid of what others may thinkof you; when you rebel, you are always being influenced by the tribe.

BeliefsTo create the life you really desire,you need to re-evaluate your beliefs,values and rulesbecause the state of every area of your life—your health, relationships and finances—are a reflection of these beliefs.

We all have set beliefs about ourselves,most of these resulted from our childhood con-ditioning.For instance,as you were growing up you may have been told you were clever,just average or stupid; good with money or hopeless with money; helpful or lazy; kindor selfish; hard to get on with or easy to get on with; lovable or hard to love.These labelsare not who you are unless you choose to believe them. Being called stupid doesn’tmake you stupid, it just tells you something about the person who’s calling you stupid.

As a child you also made judgements by observing the world around you and howthose close to you responded to life’s challenges.You will have observed how your fam-ily achieved their goals, whether they struggled or achieved their desires easily. All ofthese observations will have had a profound influence on your life and the choices thatyou make today.

So that you can become more aware of beliefs that may be limiting, tick the boxfor the statement that best describes you or your beliefs:I limit what I can have or do because of my age, financial situationor education. Yes ❏ No ❏

I sometimes say “I’m stupid”. Yes ❏ No ❏

I would make dramatic changes to my life if I knew I could have everything that I wanted. Yes ❏ No ❏

You have to work hard in order to achieve. Yes ❏ No ❏

It’s not what you know it’s who you know that makes you successful. Yes ❏ No ❏

You can’t succeed without money. Yes ❏ No ❏

I often feel powerless. Yes ❏ No ❏

The only way we really learn is the hard way. Yes ❏ No ❏

You can’t make money being honest. Yes ❏ No ❏

You need to experience tough times in order to be really successful. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate your limiting beliefs. You change limiting beliefs byacting on your chosen values, this is covered in the next step.



RulesThere is nothing good or bad about rules; they’re a guide just like your values.However,the more rules you have, the harder you make life for yourself—and for those aroundyou.When answering the questions below ask yourself if these rules make you happy. Ifnot you are always free to change them.

So that you can become aware of how many rules that you have, tick the box forthe statement that best describes you:There is only way to do things. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have trouble living up to my own expectations. Yes ❏ No ❏

I get upset when other people don’t live up to my expectations. Yes ❏ No ❏

I often complain about bad service. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have to maintain a certain standard of living in order to feel successful. Yes ❏ No ❏

I often correct other people’s speech. Yes ❏ No ❏

There is only right and wrong, no other possibilities. Yes ❏ No ❏

It’s important to always be on time. Yes ❏ No ❏

I get upset when I don’t get my own way. Yes ❏ No ❏

I often tell people how to do things. Yes ❏ No ❏

I set high standards for myself and feel bad about myself Yes ❏ No ❏

when I don’t meet them.

I get upset when others don’t agree with my point of view. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate your rules. Less shoulds in your life means less stress.



To Do This WeekObserve ways in which you are bonded to the tribe. Be aware of even the smallestactions, such as how often you say things like:But what will people think?You’ll think I’m awfulI’ll look like a fool

Observe too how often you make statements that indicate limiting beliefs. Writeyour observations down here:

To discover what your rules are—and most people have more than they think—just takenote of how often you say the words ‘should’and ‘must’.The ‘shoulds’and ‘musts’ in yourlife make up the rules that you live by, or feel you should live by.These rules influenceall of your decisions.

Note your observations about your rules here:



Daily ChecklistComplete this checklist at the end of each day to monitor your progress.At first you willprobably have lots of ‘a’ answers and this is good as you become more aware.However,your objective is to be aware and make changes so that over time you increase the num-ber of ‘b’ answers each week

The more ‘b’ answers you have the happier your life will be.

Notes


Did you notice any new limiting beliefs today?a-yes / b-no

Did you notice if your choices/decisions were influenced by what otherpeople think? a-yes / b-no

Did you say many words like “should”, “must” and “have to” today?a-yes / b-no

MonSun WedTue FriThur Sata b a b a b a b a b a b a b


Summary of Step Two

Know who you want to beWe all need a reason for living and the stronger the reason, the more motivation wehave.Your life’s purpose is not a goal, it’s demonstrating the character of the personyou choose to be through your daily actions.

In order to create a life that you really love you need to think first and foremostabout the character of the person you want to be.For instance you may want to bekind, tolerant or generous.These are called your being values.

Knowing and living according to your being values has a twofold benefit. Firstly bymaking a commitment to demonstrate your being values on a daily basis you havea very clear code of ethics and standards to live by, this makes it easier for yourespond positively to the ups and downs of daily living.Secondly,by choosing to acton these values you break the pattern of reacting, and this is how you change oldbeliefs and create new beliefs about yourself.

When you choose to act like the person that you want to be you not only feel goodabout yourself,you reinforce your chosen belief and you change your perception ofthe world, and the world in turn changes its perception of you. Everyday you makechoices,you can choose to act like a victim who has no control over what happensto him/her, or you can choose to be powerful, strong, positive, inspirational or kind.You can adopt a value that suits any situation you’re in.

Choosing Who You Want to BeI suggest that you split your being values into two sets.Your primary being values arethe character traits of the person you want to be,or another way to think about it isto decide what you are prepared to give.Make sure that you choose values that youare prepared to make the commitment to live by.When you act on these values con-sistently you are living your life’s purpose.

Your supplementary being values are character traits you need act on in order toreceive, these values may change as your goals change. In some situations beingpositive may be the best way to act, in another you may need to be courageous orwise. When you are confronted by a difficult situation ask yourself,‘How would acourageous (or whatever value is appropriate) person act in this situation?’ then actaccordingly. Happiness comes from finding a harmonious balance between givingand receiving.

Choosing, then living up to who you want to be, is your own personal code of hon-our—it’s setting a standard of behaviour for yourself.Not only do your values provideyou with guidelines for making decisions, they also present you with opportunitiesto change beliefs that no longer serve who you are,or what you want today.How youreact to life’s challenges is what will decide the quality of your life.You have totalcontrol over how much you allow into your life and total control over how much youcontribute.Who you choose to be is your compass. Use it to guide all of your futurechoices.You will never make a wrong decision if you act on your highest values.



Step Two

Know who you want to beWhen you choose and then act on your being values you break the pattern of reacting,and this is how you change old beliefs and create new beliefs about what you can be,do or have.

The following statements will give you an idea as to how reactive you are, tick thestatement that best describes you:When someone yells at me I feel upset. Yes ❏ No ❏

When I have a fight with someone important to me I console myself by eating something fattening or by shopping. Yes ❏ No ❏

If someone pulls into the parking spot that I’ve been waiting for I feel angry, toot my horn, or swear at them. Yes ❏ No ❏

When my children leave their mess all over the house, I often yell,or nag. Yes ❏ No ❏

When my bank balance is less than I thought I feel anxious and/or worry. Yes ❏ No ❏

When people who are important to me don’t remember my birthday I feel upset. Yes ❏ No ❏

When a bank teller/salesperson etc. is rude and won’t help with a simple request, I feel frustrated. Yes ❏ No ❏

When I’m stuck in traffic and know I’m going to be late I worry or fume and arrive at my destination feeling stressed. Yes ❏ No ❏

When someone else blames me for something that’s not my fault it spoils my day/makes me angry. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate you are reacting.When you react you give your power away to other people or circumstances. It takestime and some effort to change a habit, however you can do it if you choose to.Whenyou stop reacting and start acting like the person you choose to be you transform yourlife.

Choosing Your ValuesBeing values fall into two categories.Your first three being values (primary) representthe character of the person you want to be for example, you may choose to be kind,accepting and generous.

The second three being values (supplementary) are the character traits that help youachieve your goals for example; responsible, powerful and independent.

Your primary being values will most likely remain for your lifetime,your supplementaryvalues can change as your goals change.

Focus on choosing your three primary being values first as these are your life’s purpose.



Here are some of the character traits, or values, you may want to consider being:Kind StrongResourceful HonestTolerant AcceptingPassionate CompassionateLoving GenerousPowerful ResponsibleCourageous IndependentInspirational DynamicInvincible SupportiveWarm UnderstandingConsiderate TrustingCheerful ConfidentChoosing,then living up to who you want to be, is your own personal code of honour—it’s setting a standard of behaviour for yourself.

Write down your three primary being (life purpose) values:1.

2.

3.

As your being values are very important take your time in choosing them. You maylike to choose three and then experiment with them for a few weeks to make surethey make you happy.Next, choose three being values, or character traits, that will assist you to achieve whatyou want in life. For instance, if you decided to be kind, that’s what you choose todemonstrate on a daily basis. However, in order to achieve your goals, you may alsoneed to be powerful. Being ‘kind’ usually belongs to your primary set of being valuesand being ‘powerful’ belongs to the supplementary set of being values, although thereis no hard and fast rule about this.

Remember when choosing your supplementary being values that they can change asyour goals change.



Write down your supplementary being values here:4.

5.

6.

Note: being congruent is essential. All of your thoughts and actions must correspondwith whom you choose to be. For example, if you choose to be kind to your family andfriends, but at the same time make derogatory or racist comments about other people,you are not being congruent.

Create a Launching PadBefore you commit to living according to your supplementary being values (the onesthat help you to achieve your goal) you may need to create a launching pad.A launch-ing pad is a starting point.It’s a place where you feel comfortable with yourself and yoursituation.

If for instance you wish to make a lot of money but feel like you can’t make ends meet,you may need first to get yourself to the point where your income matches your outgo-ings.

In order to create wealth you may choose to be powerful. However, it’s hard to demon-strate being powerful if you feel like a fraud. So you may need to choose another valuesuch as being responsible to begin with.

In this instance acting on this value may mean that you do work that you dislike in theinterim (knowing that it’s only temporary). Although this process may seem slow youwill actually proceed faster this way than by trying to be something you are not.

Creating a launching pad means you do whatever you need to do to get yourself to firstbase, so you can then demonstrate who you want to be from a position of strength.

Make a Commitment to YourselfOnce you are very clear as to your chosen values think about what each of these valuesmean to you.For example, if you choose to be loving, think about how you will demon-strate love and to whom.

You need to be totally familiar with your values and be very clear about what they meanto you as there will be many occasions when you will need to act upon them in aninstant.



Statement of PurposeOnce you are very clear about who you want to be then write down your statement ofpurpose.Write this statement in the present tense, as if you already are the person youhave chosen to be. Don’t use words such as ‘try’ or ‘hope’, or any terms that suggest youwill not live up to the standards that you have set for yourself.

1. I commit to being:








To Do This WeekAt every opportunity delay reacting and take the opportunity to act on your chosenbeing values.

Keep your values in mind when making choices. If you are ever in doubt about whatchoice to make consult your statement of purpose.You will never make a wrong deci-sion if you act on your highest values.

Complete the daily checklist at the end of each day.

Daily ChecklistComplete this checklist at the end of each day to monitor your progress.Your objectiveis to increase the number of ‘b’ answers each week.


Notes





Did you react to anything today?a-yes / b-no

Did you act on your being values today?a-no / b-yes



Summary of Step Three

Choose what makes you happyWhen you make choices based solely on your intellect you may be successful andachieve all of your goals,but that is no guarantee you’ll be happy with those choic-es.There are many rich,successful people who are unhappy.Choices made from thehead are usually dictated by what other people think of you, or out of fear.

The key to living a happy, successful life is to know how to make the right choicesand you do this by knowing what makes you happy.

Once you establish what makes you happy you can then relate each example ofhappiness to a value. For example, if you love to spend time in beautiful surround-ings or love having a nice home, then beauty may be your value. If you like to payyour bills on time or to always have money available to you, then financial securitymay be your value.These are what I call your having values.

The being values are the character traits you choose to live by,whereas your havingvalues are the material possessions and states that make you happy, and these arewhat you want to create more of.

What You Want is a FeelingWhen you pursue a goal you are pursuing a feeling.Sometimes what you want takesa while in coming, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never get it, and sometimes youdon’t get what you want, you get something far better.

Add a Dash of PassionPassion is what makes getting up in the morning fun, it makes your heart sing andit gives you the motivation to keep going when the going gets tough.Passion is yoursource of energy and anyone who thinks they’re too old (or too young) for passionneeds to think again.

Passion is what transforms an ordinary life into something special.

Give Yourself Permission to Have What You WantI always stress the importance of focusing on being the person you want to be—that’s not to say there is anything wrong with wanting.Sometimes we can feel guiltyfor wanting so much,as if wanting more implies that we are not grateful for what wehave. I believe that we have our dreams for a very good reason.Those dreams arewhat help us to learn and grow and ultimately to express love to others. My philos-ophy is very simple, if you have a dream then you have it for a reason, that meansthat you are entitled to have it manifest in your life and age for example,should notbe a barrier.



Step Three

Choose what makes you happyThe key to living a happy, successful life is to know how to make the right choices.Andthere is a simple, effective way to do this simply ask yourself,“What makes me happy?”.

Being aware of what makes you happy and deciding on your having values in this man-ner will give you a far more accurate list of goals than one you could compile using justyour intellect.

Some examples of what makes you happy could be:

Walking in the park

Spending time with your children

Talking on the phone to a friend

Reading a good book

Make a note of all that makes you happy on a daily basis and don’t discount somethingbecause it seems insignificant.Often it’s the little things in life that make us happy.Don’tspend too much time dwelling on this or you’ll get caught up in your intellect.Listen toyour heart and note the little daily activities or occurrences that make you feel good.

Relate What You Love to a ValueCompiling a list of what makes you happy could take weeks so it’s okay to move on toother steps while you’re doing this. Once you’ve established what makes you happy,relate each example of what makes you happy to a value. For instance, your list couldlook like this:

What makes me happy ValueSpending time with my children love/intimacy/companionship

Being part of a team companionship

Music beauty

Finishing a project achievement

When you pursue any goal you pursue a feeling.

There are times in life when you can’t have exactly what you want in the way that youwant it, but you can always achieve the feeling.The feeling we get from achieving ourgoals is always the real goal.

Ultimately, your list of what makes you happy will show you what your highestvalues are:What makes me happy Value



When you have a clear idea of what makes you happy consider this question:Are these values compatible with the person you want to be? Yes ❏ No ❏

If your answer is “No”, go back and rework your statement of purpose so that it’s com-patible with what makes you happy. It’s important to be honest about this, and to worktowards being who you want to be, rather than who you think you ought to be. Being amartyr or doing things out of duty doesn’t contribute to making the world a happierplace.

Now, from the list of what makes you happy choose what you want to create inyour life. These are your goals. These can be written as specific goals such as Iwant a happy marriage or a best friend. However specific goals can be limiting sokeep in mind how you want to feel. For example you could choose: I choose tohave loving relationships where I share my time with people I love and likeminded friends. These relationships fill my life with laughter and fun,companionship and intellectual stimulation.I choose:



When You Don’t Know What You WantUnderstand this, we all know what we want. However, there can be times when webecome confused and this usually results from:

a) not giving yourself permission to have what you want

b) being told that you can’t have what you want

c) trying and failing too many times.

When you pursue a goal remember that you are always pursuing a feeling. You candiscover what you want simply by asking yourself how you want to feel.When you don’t know what work you want to do ask yourself what needs you wantyour work to fill?

In relationships how do you want to feel?

How will having the money you desire make you feel?

How will the home of your dreams make you feel?

How will a more relaxed lifestyle/more time make you feel?



How will having a more active/or less active social life make you feel?

Your feelings are your compass—don’t ignore them.

To Do This WeekOn a daily basis,‘choose’ what you want to appear or happen in your life. Proclaim yourchoices out loud with feeling, for example when you are driving alone in your car orwhen you are in the shower,say out loud,“I choose....”.You will feel great when you arriveat your destination or leave your home to face the day.

Whenever something happens that you don’t like, repeat your choices to yourself: “Ichoose peace/abundance/harmony”.

Write down daily things that make you happy and align each statement with a value.










Did you do something that made you happy today?a-no / b-yes

Did you choose what you want today?a-no / b-yes



Notes



Summary of Step Four

You create your life with your thoughts,words and actions

Your thoughts,words and actions are the energy source that you use to create whatyou want,or don’t want.Successful people,ones who achieve their goals easily andeffortlessly, use their energy efficiently. They think and talk positively about whatthey want and by doing so they attract people and opportunities into their lives tohelp them manifest their dreams.This is called synchronicity.

Synchronicity describes the power you have to create your own coincidences.Coincidences don’t just happen. They result from the energy field that you createwith your thoughts,words and actions.In this step I have focused predominantly onthoughts and words, as actions, which are equally important, are covered in depthin Step Seven.

Your beliefs, values and rules are the foundations for your life.Your thoughts,wordsand actions create the structure.How solid and easy that structure is for you to cre-ate is decided on a daily basis by how you think, speak and act.

Real power and enormous success manifests when your thoughts, words andactions totally support each other. Each one of these is a powerful source of ener-gy and each one vibrates on a different energy level. For instance, if you think pos-itively and speak negatively you’ll attract some of what you want,but never enough.If you think and speak positively but fail to act, you’ll attract even more but not asmuch as is possible. However, when your thoughts, words and actions are totally inalignment, you become magnetic and your potential is unlimited.

Watch Your WordsWords are a precious gift that we often carelessly squander.You may be limitingyourself by going along with the crowd and talking like everyone else,or by alwaysagreeing with them.

Choose your words carefully. Every time you say something like,‘I can’t believe it’,‘It’s too good to be true’,‘You can’t win’,‘If it’s not one thing, it’s another’, or ‘That’sjust my luck’ you are actually using your energy to make these statements true foryou.Equally,when you constantly talk about wanting something,you are effectivelyexpressing the belief that you can’t have it.

So in order to create the life you want you need to speak and act as if you alreadyhave your desires. By doing this you use your energy to attract the opportunities toyou that will help you manifest those desires.

Thoughts,words and actions all create on different energy levels.Life will flow a loteasier when your thoughts, words and actions are in harmony with each other.



Step Four

You create your life with your thoughts,words and actions

When you align your energy so that your thoughts, words and actions are totally con-gruent (harmonious, similar, comparable), you have the power of a magnet to draw allthat you need into your life.

The Law of Cause and EffectEvery thought you have and every word that you say about another goes out into theuniverse and ricochets back to you. If you gossip and criticise someone, this will comeback to you in some form; the other person may never know what you have said, butyou are the one that will suffer the consequences from the negative energy that you putout.

If you have constant problems in your life—even simple everyday ones such as trades-people not turning up when they promise—and you talk about this to everyone youmeet, you are actually using your energy to create more of the same.

Think About Your ThoughtsTo discover what you really think about all day long, monitor your thoughts for a day.Choose an average weekday where you follow your normal routine. Don’t make a spe-cial effort to control your thoughts or judge yourself. Adopt the role of an impartialobserver.

Start from the moment you wake up and, every three to four hours, take a break fromyour work or regular activity to jot down what you thought about during the past fewhours. Do this until the end of the day.

Write your thoughts down here:



At the end of the day look back at what you have thought about during the dayand honestly assess how on track your thinking is, keeping in mind what makesyou happy.You may find it easier to uncover your real thoughts by asking yourself somequestions, such as:Did you think about things that made you feel resentful, stressed,angry or frustrated? Yes ❏ No ❏

Before you went to work, or started your day, did you waste energy going over the same old things—telling your children to hurry up,to put their things away, to turn off the TV? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you say the same things to your family that you say everyday and get the same response. Yes ❏ No ❏

At work did you waste energy thinking about how annoyed you were with someone—maybe your boss, a workmate or even a customer? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you worry or think about a problem in your life? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you think about how much you dislike doing certain activities,for example catching public transport, making beds, rushing to meet a deadline? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you think about all the reasons why you can’t have what you want? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you think about the monotony of your life? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you wish that you had someone to share your life with? Yes ❏ No ❏

Did you think about how stressed you feel or how there is never enough time? Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

The more ‘No’ answers you have the happier your life will be.Make a list of your observations here. Note the negative thought and what occurred totrigger that thought, then choose something to think about that will make you happy:

Negative thought What caused me to think that way What I could think instead



First The Thought,Then The FeelingHave you ever thought about how you got angry,stressed or fearful in the first place? It’ssimple: first you had the thought, then the feeling follows. Everything originates withthought.

When you begin to take conscious control of your thoughts it may take a while for yourfeelings to follow the same way,but they will if you persist.The thought comes first thenthe feeling follows.

Changing Negative ThoughtsEveryone has negative or fearful thoughts at times. It’s up to you to choose whether youwill dwell on these thoughts or not. Always remember that you have power over yourthoughts.

The key to creating lasting change is to be prepared, you can do this by having a tech-nique ready to use to counteract the thought immediately.

Some suggested methods are:• Every time you find yourself thinking about things you don’t want, or worrying, give

thanks for all that is good in your life.This is the most powerful thing you can do.

• Imagine a huge ‘cancelled’ stamp and visualise yourself using that stamp every timean unwanted thought enters your mind.

• Imagine yourself erasing a thought.

Choose a blanket statement that you can use to replace undesirable thoughts with.Some examples are:Replacement statements:I am so fortunate I am blessed

I give thanks for all that’s good in my life I can have everything I want

I am good enough There is always enough for me

Everything always works out for the best

Add your own as well.



The Power of WordsYour thoughts are a form of energy, so too are your words; choose your words carefully.

Every time you use a common utterance like,“It’s too good to be true”,“You can’t win”or “That’s just my luck”,you are actually using your energy to make these statements truefor you.

You can transform fear and doubt by turning your statements into questions.

If you have a habit of saying,“I can’t afford it”, say instead,“How can I afford it?”By turn-ing the statement into a question,you create an entirely different perspective on the sit-uation and open up a whole new set of possibilities.

When you ask a question you give yourself permission to have what you really desire—and this opens new doors.When the doors open, you may find you don’t want whatev-er it is enough,or that you aren’t prepared to make the commitment,but that’s an entire-ly different situation.

Think about the negative words/statements that you make regularly.Then find a positivereplacement for these statements, or turn them into liberating questions.When you dothis you often find a way to get what you want—a way that may never have occurred toyou before while you were so busy telling yourself you couldn’t have it, do it or be it.

Here are some words and expressions you can use to replace the ones that no longersupport the life you want.



Disempowering words Empowering wordsI can’t.... I can

how can I....?it’s hard it’s a challenge

how can I change this?problem challenge

what’s the opportunity here?by myself with myselfstruggle working towards

how can I make my life easier?broke temporarily low on cash

how can I create more money?it’s too good to be true good things always happen to me

I deserve thisgoing around in circles another opportunity

how can I change this pattern?it’s no use it’s my turn

what can I do to change this situation?should want to

how can I make my life easier?you can’t win I always win

how can I make this a win/win situation?devastated temporary setbackhurt disappointedangry annoyedworried sick slightly concerneddepressed not my usual selffailure I’ll get it right next timeoverloaded in demandscared stretching my comfort zoneChoose just a few positive statements and make them a part of your regular vocabularyrather than trying to remember everything.

Write the words you have chosen to use here:Negative phrases I regularly say Replacement statements



Commitment Means Doing

Doubts and fears are natural but remember they are only feelings—they have no powerexcept what you give them through your thoughts, words and actions. If you don’t dwellon a feeling it passes.

You demonstrate belief (confidence, power) by speaking, thinking and acting like theperson that you want to be.

If you don’t know how to achieve your goals ask yourself what can you do on adaily basis:Can you break your goal down so that you can start working towards it now? Yes ❏ No ❏

Can you do more research? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you need to seek advice? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you need to develop a new skill? Yes ❏ No ❏

Have you set aside a regular time to work on this goal? Yes ❏ No ❏

Can you ask someone to help you? Yes ❏ No ❏

Write down some ways you can demonstrate more commitment to yourself andyour dreams:



Affirm For What You WantPositive affirmations mean that you say you have something before it shows up in yourlife.The reason you do this is because your subconscious doesn’t know the differencebetween fact and fiction.So in order to create a life you love you need to speak and actas if you already have your desires. By doing this you use your energy to attract oppor-tunities to you.

Affirmations work best when they are short, in the present tense as if you already havethe object of your desire. For instance you could say:

I am a home owner. (if your goal is a home of your own)

I live in the house of my dreams. (If you want a better home)

I love my work and I’m paid abundantly. (to create a better job,or improve the oneyou have)

I have more money than I will ever need. (to create more prosperity)

I always achieve my goals easily and effortlessly. (when life seems hard)

Write down an affirmation to suit your goal. This then becomes your statement oftruth.

Commit to saying this to yourself or out loud at least 60 times a day (in threegroups of 20).If the journey seems too hard you aren’t committed enough yet, or whatever it is thatyou think you want is not what you really desire. So go back, and take note of whatmakes you happy. Remember that happiness and fulfilment are part of your life’s pur-pose; it’s not just the attainment of material possessions.



To Do This WeekDevote this week to monitoring your thoughts.Choose a method for replacing negativethoughts with more positive ones.

Allocate specific times to say your affirmation or link it with an activity, such as, everytime you look into a mirror, turn the ignition in your car, or turn on a tap.

I commit to affirming my statement of truth everyday at:_______________________Complete the daily checklist at the end of each day.











Did you predominantly think about things that make you happy today?a-no / b-yes

Did you waste energy talking about what you don’t want?a-yes / b-no

Did you criticise others today?a-yes / b-no

Did you gossip today?a-yes / b-no

Did you worry today?a-yes / b-no

Did you feel unduly stressed today?a-yes / b-no

Did you think, act and talk like a person who loves his/her life today? a-no / b-yes



Notes



Summary of Step Five

Face your fearsRecurring patterns are your signposts, and your opportunities, although they neverfeel like it at the time.If you have any type of recurring problem you have an oppor-tunity to face your fears, by doing so you free yourself from having to experiencethe same situations over and over again.

When you acknowledge that you have control over your life and you stop blamingother people or luck for the situation you’re in,then you are ready to face your fears.When you do this you will find that you have one of three opportunities,sometimesyou have all three rolled into one.

Opportunity One: Every problem presents you with an opportunity todemonstrate who you want to be; this demonstration allows you to change alimiting belief.Opportunity Two: You are able to realise what emotional benefit you aregaining—the pay-off—from having your problems.By pay-off, I mean the reward you get from keeping up a behaviour. Pay-offs can besubtle and not always easy to discover by yourself and that’s because pay-offs oftenhide a deep-seated fear, or an erroneous belief.

Opportunity Three: You can face some unresolved emotions that need to bedealt with.Even when you discover what your pay-off is there is usually more work to be done.To get your life to really work, to leave pain and sadness behind, you need to allowyourself to feel.

Choose to allow yourself to really feel emotions that will help you to heal, and bydoing this you may also recognise a limiting belief that is preventing you from hav-ing what you really want.For instance, if you feel helpless or depressed,underneaththese feelings is usually a belief that you can’t have what you want.If you feel resent-ful or unworthy you may have a core belief that you’re not good enough.Remember, your feelings are your compass and even so called ‘negative’ feelingscan serve their purpose if they help you to make positive changes.

Real forgiveness begins in your heart.When forgiveness is authentic you can lovethe people that hurt you,even if you don’t like them or don’t want to associate withthem again.Real forgiveness transforms your life dramatically and it can happen inan instant.

Once you have forgiven you are able to let go, move on and leave the hurt behind.If you’re not prepared to forgive, you’re not prepared to let go of the pain.

By facing your fears you free yourself from your past and begin to believe that it’spossible for you to have everything that you’ve always wanted.



Step Five

Face your fearsLife’s problems always present you with an opportunity to face your fears. If you haveany type of recurring problem, there is a fear related to that problem that needs to beaddressed. And the fear and the problem won’t go away until you deal with the rootcause.

Your OpportunitiesWhen you are ready to face your fears you have one of three opportunities, sometimesyou have all three rolled into one.

Opportunity One: Every problem presents you with an opportunity to demonstratewho you want to be; this demonstration allows you to change a limiting belief.(See Step Two: Know who you want to be)Once you make a decision to act on who you want to be, life will always present youwith an opportunity to demonstrate that aspect of yourself. Look at these events asopportunities, even though they rarely feel like an opportunity when you’re in the mid-dle of a crisis.

Don’t Just ReactWhen something goes wrong,stop and think about who you want to be.This will changeyour pattern and stop you from reacting in the same old way. By simply reacting, youremain bound to your past.

You can think of life’s problems as being a burden,or you can look upon them as oppor-tunities to take control of your life and at the same time to change any limiting beliefs.

The following are some examples of the opportunities that problems present for you tothink about:

If you are constantly experiencing money problems, you have an opportunity to bemore responsible or creative.

If you are constantly criticised by others, you have an opportunity to be more inde-pendent, and to separate yourself from the opinions of the tribe.

If you are unable to find work, you have an opportunity to be more self-reliant.

Write down some of the opportunities that are present in your life right now.My financial situation gives me the opportunity to:



My work situation provides an opportunity to:

My relationships provide me with the opportunity to:

My health and fitness level provide me with the opportunity to:

Write down any other opportunities that may exist for you:

If necessary repeat Step Two and take note of all the opportunities you have to changeyour limiting beliefs.

Opportunity Two: You realise what emotional benefits you are gaining—the pay-off—from having your problems.To discover whether you have any pay-offs tick the box for the statement thatdescribes you best.When something goes wrong in my life I always talk to my friends/family about it. Yes ❏ No ❏

When someone hurts/humiliates me I like to take revenge. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am afraid if I am too successful I will leave my friends behind. Yes ❏ No ❏

I feel bad if I am more successful than my partner/family. Yes ❏ No ❏



I am concerned that too much money will change me. Yes ❏ No ❏

I don’t want to be burdened with responsibility. Yes ❏ No ❏

I’m afraid that if I change my life too much I might not like what I get. Yes ❏ No ❏

I’m afraid that if I change my life too much I might lose what I already have. Yes ❏ No ❏

If I had more money/time I would feel that I have to achieve more. Yes ❏ No ❏

It’s easier to dream than to try and fail. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am afraid that if I’m too successful people won’t like me. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate your pay-offs.The pay-off, or the emotional benefit you get for keeping up a behaviour (such as notfacing your fears), can be subtle and not always easy to discover by yourself. This isbecause the pay-offs often veil a deep-seated fear.

Examples of Possible Pay-offs are Listed BelowYou get attention.

You take revenge.

Problems prevent you from facing the real issue.

You’re afraid of people discovering you are a fraud.

You will leave some people behind.

You’re afraid of change.

You don’t really believe you are good enough.

Identify Your Pay-offIf you have a problem that keeps recurring, ask yourself what you’re gaining from hav-ing this problem.

Write down any possible pay-offs that may be preventing you from creating the lifeyou really want.



Replace Your Pay-offWrite down some positive ways that you could gain the same emotional benefit.Make sure your choice supports what makes you happy and who you want to be.

Opportunity Three: You can face some unresolved emotions that need to be dealtwith.Even when you discover what your pay-off is, there is usually more work to be done.Toget your life to really work, to leave pain and sadness behind,you need to work throughthe fear and the problem it causes.

During childhood,most of us were conditioned not to show anger—we learnt that somefeelings just aren’t okay to have or show.The irony is that to find real freedom you nowneed to reverse that conditioning and give yourself permission to feel all of your feel-ings.

Your objective needs to be to get beyond blame, resentment, confusion or whateveremotion it is that’s holding you back and to get to the root of your feelings.

Give Yourself Permission to FeelThere are ways that we can encourage ourselves to acknowledge our underlying emo-tions—to face our fears—and these are outlined below.

Note: If major emotional issues surface during this process, you may need to consult aprofessional counsellor or therapist for help in dealing with them.

Modify Your HabitsDon’t do what you would normally do. If your way of avoiding pain is to eat, drink, talk,sleep or work, don’t do it and allow the fear or pain to surface instead.

Write down some ways you can modify your habits:



Listen to Your BodyAsk your body what it's trying to tell you when you want to eat, drink and so on. Thedesire for food,even when you aren't really hungry,can be a way of masking your angeror fear.

Write down what your body is trying to tell you.



Write Your Problems Out of YouOne of the easiest ways to release your feelings is to write them down. Start a journaland go back to your earliest memories writing down what you feel angry/hurt/sad orguilty about. If you’re not sure what made you feel these emotions,write down what youthink could have caused your anger, pain, sadness or guilt.

Just keep writing—don’t edit your thoughts or words and don’t show them toanyone else. Allow the feelings to pour out of you.



When you’re finished don’t read back over what you have written and, whateveryou do, don’t write a letter to anyone telling them how you feel. The purpose ofthis exercise is to face the past and let it go—not to constantly relive it or blamesomeone.

Talk The Problems Out of YouIf writing doesn’t appeal go for a drive in your car by yourself,somewhere without muchtraffic,and say everything you’ve ever wanted to say.Stop the car somewhere private andcry, rave, scream—let the hurt out.

Now Move onOnce you have faced and grieved for the past let go of it.Stop talking about it,stop reliv-ing it—release the past’s hold on you. End it by forgiving everyone you need to forgive,then move on.

Say Goodbye to What Could Have BeenSome dreams don’t come true,however remember you can always obtain the same feel-ing in a different way, or with someone different. Sometimes though before you canmove on you need to say goodbye to the past,to the dreams,the people that did not liveup to your expectations.

On a separate sheet of paper write down how you feel, acknowledging all of yourfeelings such as anger, sadness, helplessness. Then allow yourself to heal bysaying goodbye to what can never be.Set a time limit for this exercise. It could be one hour or one week. It’s important thereis a time for completion,do not repeat this exercise once you have finished.Face it, thenwork through it.

When this exercise is completed it’s a good idea to perform some type of ritual.You maytear this page up, burn it, destroy it in some way.

The only way the past can affect your present is if you keep going back and dwelling onwhat happened.

Forgiveness is The Pathway to FreedomForgiveness means letting go, moving on, leaving the hurt behind. If you are not pre-pared to forgive, you are not prepared to let go of the pain.

And, remember, forgiveness does not mean condoning something that someone hasdone: forgiving someone does not mean that you need ever associate with that personagain, or that you have to remain in a harmful situation.



Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person—it is about you.When you forgivesomeone,you release his/her power over you.So forgiveness is the most liberating thingyou can do for yourself.

Make a list of the people you need to forgive:

To Do This Week

Don’t Just ReactWhen something goes wrong,stop and think about who you want to be.This will changeyour pattern and stop you from reacting in the same old way. By simply reacting, youremain bound to your past.

Identify Your Pay-offIf you have a problem that keeps recurring, ask yourself what you’re gaining from hav-ing this problem—what’s your pay-off?

Replace Your Pay-offFind a positive way to gain the same emotional benefit that supports the life that youwant and who you want to be.

Write Your Problems Out of YouStart a journal and go back to your earliest memories writing down what you feelangry/hurt/sad or guilty about. If you’re not sure what made you feel these emotions,write down what you think could have caused your anger, pain, sadness or guilt. Justkeep writing—don’t edit your thoughts or words and don’t show them to anyone else.Allow the feelings to pour out of you.

Talk The Problems Out of YouIf writing doesn’t appeal go for a drive in your car by yourself,somewhere without muchtraffic,and say everything you’ve ever wanted to say.Stop the car somewhere private andcry, rave, scream—let the hurt out.

Now Move onOnce you have faced and grieved for the past let go of it.Stop talking about it,stop reliv-ing it—release the past’s hold on you. End it by forgiving everyone you need to forgive,then move on.





Notes















Did you think, act and talk like a person who loves his/her life today?a-no / b-yes

Did you do something to help you achieve your goal today?a-no / b-yes

If you faced your fears today do you feel happy with the way you handledthe situation? a-no / b-yes

Did you act like a victim today?a-yes / b-no



Summary of Step Six

Create from within firstReal power comes from within and has nothing to do with how much money,opportunity, or intelligence you have. Everything, the chair you’re sitting in, the caryou drive, this book you are reading were at one time just an idea.The way to turnyour ideas into reality is by going within regularly and connecting with your spiriton a regular basis.Finding a quiet time to meditate,relax,or simply walk alone is animportant step and the one most people don’t bother to follow.

Take a moment to imagine what your life would be like if you knew you could haveeverything you want. In fact, I highly recommend you put this book down as soonas you finish this paragraph and spend just two minutes daydreaming about thatgreat life.Think about how you would feel, imagine the joy of getting up each dayeager to spend another day doing what you love, with the people you love.

When you give yourself permission to have everything you want, you feel real hap-piness—and isn’t that the way life is supposed to be?

Doing without doesn’t help you create what you want because when you feeldeprived most of your energy is focused on what you don’t have,what you’re doingwrong, or how to change your situation—and whatever you focus on you attract.When your focus is on problems, doubts and fears you continually manifest moreof the same.

It doesn’t matter how you manage to go within, so experiment until you find a waythat suits you and make it a part of your daily life.



Step Six

Create from within firstYou will not create your dreams by working harder and longer; you create from withinfirst, then your dreams manifest in the physical realm. Everything begins as an idea.

Go Within RegularlyGoing within regularly—we recommend meditation, but other relaxation methods canbe used—is the most important part of the process of creation,yet it is the one step thatmany people avoid.

If you were told you could have everything that you wanted if you just devoted 20 min-utes a day to creating it, you’d jump at the opportunity—we all would. But most peopledon’t because they are not aware of the benefits to be gained from regular meditation.Some of these benefits are: it’s good for your health, you have more time, more energy,you become more intuitive, more creative and often meditation will provide solutionsto problems that you would not normally have dreamt of.

Your reason for not meditating may be lack of time, if this is the case think about howmuch time you spend creating the life that you don’t want—how much time do youspend searching for solutions, talking about problems or feeling sorry for yourself.

Meditation,on the other hand,will take you to a level of experience that will make manyof your concerns seem trivial.

You don’t need any special skills to meditate; you don’t need to attend classes.You justneed to make the time to sit quietly, close your eyes and go within.

At the beginning of your meditation ask for what you want,and when you sit quietly,stopthe mental chatter and listen to your inner voice.

It’s all about faith,and faith is not a feeling; it is putting your beliefs into practise.A beliefis not a belief until you act upon it.

There are many different types of meditation, two are covered here.

Giving Thanks MeditationDr Deepak Chopra describes the ‘gap’ as the space between your thoughts,where thereis no mental activity. So many people give up on meditation because they cannot stilltheir minds, all you have to do is slow down the thinking process, and you can do thisby giving thanks for everything that you are grateful for.

To begin this meditation have a very clear intention of what you desire.Then simply givethanks,and as you do this it is normal to slip into the ‘gap’—in a way it is very similar towhen you daydream, when you let the cares of the world slip away and you drift off toanother state.

Meditating to SoundWayne Dyer’s CD Meditations for Manifesting is a specific meditation for creating whatyou want in life. This meditation takes you to a level of Siddhi consciousness usingsound.



During this meditation you use the sound “aahh” to draw what you desire into your life.

The ideal time to do this meditation is first thing in the morning. Sit somewhere quietand comfortable.

Begin with a mental picture of what you want,your choice can be small or large,it does-n’t matter—there’s no need to limit yourself, so be guided by your having values. Placeyour attention on how you will to feel once you manifest this desire.

As you take a deep breath imagine the energy flowing through your body from yourbase chakra, which is where your sexual organs are located, proceeding up throughyour body, clearing your energy field until it reaches your third eye, which is locatedbetween your eyebrows.

Exhale slowly and as you release your breath make the sound ‘aahh’. As you do this,imagine your energy flowing from your third eye, circling what you desire. Keep yourfocus on how you would feel having your desire, rather than on visualising the mani-festation of a specific thing.

As you breathe in deeply again, draw that feeling of wellbeing, triumph, happiness orwhatever the emotion is into your body and repeat the process.

And always remember,there is no right way or wrong way to do this meditation.You canmake the “aahh” sound out loud at high volume or softly, or you can just say it to your-self.

Like anything this meditation takes practise to master.You may not feel like anything ishappening at first, that doesn’t mean it isn’t. Just persist with daily practise and watchwhat happens.

If You Can’t or Don’t Want to MeditateFor those people who simply can’t or don’t want to meditate, that’s okay, but you stillneed to find a way to relax and access your intuition.

If you prefer to be active while you go within, tai chi or another type of meditationwhich involves movement may be ideal for you.Another form of meditation is to walkalone each day, preferably in the early morning when it’s quiet and there aren’t manypeople around.

VisualisationVisualisation is another process that allows you to quiet the mind while you mentallysee your life the way you want it to be.

The best way to do this is to find a quiet place,relax,close your eyes and breathe in andout deeply a few times.When you feel relaxed,use your imagination to create a sanctu-ary (real or imaginary)—a place where you can go to dream.

Put yourself into this special place and,while there, imagine your life the way you wantit to be.See yourself as already having the object of your desire,or doing what you wantto be doing, and imagine how you would look, feel and so on.

Some people prefer to listen to a tape that guides their visualisation, this helps to stopthe mind from wandering.A good tape to use is Craig Townsend’s Mind Mastery (avail-



able from your life coach/Hart Life Coaching).Craig is trained in hypnotherapy and spe-cialises in teaching mind control. He has a very soothing voice and his tape is easy tolisten to. It’s also ideal for people who are unaccustomed to meditating, as it’s only 12minutes long.

It doesn’t matter how you manage to go within, so experiment until you find a way thatsuits you and make it a part of your daily life.



To Do This WeekPractise going within everyday. If you haven’t done this before start with five minutes aday.After a week, increase this by five minutes a day (so that you are going within for 10minutes a day).

Increase the time you spend in this state by five minutes each week until you can com-fortably meditate/relax for 20 minutes a day. First thing in the morning is the best time.





















Did you forgive someone today?a-no / b-yes

Did you take time to go within today?a-no / b-yes



Notes



Summary of Step Seven

Success lies in your daily habitsThink about this, how often have you set goals and then allowed your daily wordsand actions contradict what you want? For instance, you may want to have lots ofmoney, you may dress the part and look like you’re worth a million dollars howev-er,you worry constantly about money,how you’re going to pay the bills and keep upappearances. If you recognise this or similar situations then your inside doesn’tmatch your outside.

You create from within first with your thoughts and words,and then you create in thephysical realm with your actions. To create the life you really want you need to thinkand speak as if you already have all that you choose as covered in Step Four.Younow need to act as if you already have all that you choose and you can do this byreassessing every area of your life.

In order to change a habit you need to first be aware of it, and secondly developstrategies to put in place whenever you find yourself returning to that old habit.

Change one thing at a time then keep building on those changes.That way you arelikely to be motivated by these small achievements to choose goals that may be fur-ther out of reach, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the list of things you want tochange.

It will take time to fully implement this step, and this could be years. Think abouthow you would act if you knew you could have everything you’ve always wantedand it’s only just a matter of time.Once you’ve done this act as if all of your dreamsare about to come true within the next twelve months by preparing now.

Establish a Daily RoutineIf you’re serious about living a life you love it’s important to establish a routine thatbecomes a part of your daily life.

A daily routine is as individual as you are, to give you some ideas your routinecould include:Time for meditation/relaxation

Time for reading or listening to inspirational cassettes

Exercise

Researching a specific goal

Learning a new skill

Time to plan

Taking a small, but specific step towards your desired goal each day.



Step Seven

Success lies in your daily habitsHow would you act if you knew that you could have everything you wanted?

Owning your success means that you not only think and talk as if you can have every-thing that you want, you act that way as well. Being congruent is vital.You do not evenhave to feel confident, you just need to act it.

Some people act as though success has a mortgage attached to it—they partially ownit, but they have to keep achieving or they won’t be able to make the mortgage pay-ments and someone else will take their success away. Success of this type is controlledby the ego, and the ego never gets enough.

You create within first with your thoughts and words, and you create in the physicalrealm with your actions.

Becoming CongruentThe process of establishing congruence, in every area of your life, is the same as a phys-ical and mental spring-clean.And, just as when you paint a room and then notice howshabby the carpet looks, the more you progress, the more you’ll find there is to be done.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the prospect of this perpetual spring-cleaning—there isalways a way to find the time, and to reduce stress in the process.And, ultimately, yourreward will be so much more time and energy.

If you need help with organising I recommend Julie Morgenstern’s book, OrganisingFrom The Inside Out, it’s an outstanding book that will help even the most organised.

To help you design your future, ask yourself these questions. Make your answersspecific, giving details of your actions.If you had harmonious, loving relationships in every area of your life how wouldyou treat your family, spouse, children, friends and co-workers?



If you’re not married or in a happy relationship and you want a loving partnership,what would you do differently if you knew the man/woman of your dreams wascoming into your life in the next few weeks?

If you knew that next month you would inherit $10 million from an uncle thatyou’ve never known. What would you do?



If you knew that you could look the way you always dreamed of and had perfecthealth, how would you treat your body? (Remember, your body is the vehicle thatyou need to carry you through the rest of your life.)

If you knew you worked just for fun, what would you do?



If you had whatever was necessary to pursue hobbies, travel, spend time withfriends or whatever you desire in your leisure time, what would you do?

The key to being successful is to do all of these things as much as you can—now.

Create Harmonious RelationshipsIf you want harmonious relationships, act like you have them now.

The following suggestions will help to create harmonious relationships.Is there anyone that you have not yet forgiven, or are working at forgiving? Yes ❏ No ❏

Is there anyone with whom you need to make amends? Yes ❏ No ❏

How can you do this?

Can you practise being kind rather than right? Yes ❏ No ❏

Make a list of things that have been done to you that you dislike:



Don’t do these things to other people.

Make a list of things that have been done for you that you like:

Do these for other people.

Create OrderOrder reduces stress and allows you to attract opportunities. Does your home or work-place look the way you want it to look?

The following statements will indicate how orderly your surroundings are:I treat everything that I own with love and respect. Yes ❏ No ❏

My desk is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

I regularly dispose of anything that I haven’t used for 3 years or more(excluding anything with sentimental value). Yes ❏ No ❏

I clean out my cupboards etc regularly. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the way my bedroom is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the way my wardrobe is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the way my linen cupboard is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the way my kitchen cupboards are organised. Yes ❏ No ❏



I am happy with the way my garage is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

My spare room is orderly. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘No’ answers indicate the areas you need to work at clearing away the clutter.Write down what can you do to change the situation and a time you plan to have itcompleted by.

Create Order in Your FinancesThe first priority is to establish an income—you cannot create from nothing.

If you don’t have enough to live on, find a way to generate an income while you areworking towards what you really desire. You don’t need to love what you’re doing,because it’s only temporary; you can put up with just about anything when you knowthat it’s for the short term and it’s taking you where you want to be.

If your focus is constantly on survival, you are not in a space to create abundance.

The following statements will indicate how orderly your finances are:I know how much I earn. Yes ❏ No ❏

I know how much I owe. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have a budget. Yes ❏ No ❏

I live within my means. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have a financial plan. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have a system for record-keeping of all receipts, accounts,tax returns etc. Yes ❏ No ❏

I don’t retain old receipts/papers that are no longer relevant. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am up to date with my tax return. Yes ❏ No ❏



I don’t have too many bank accounts. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have more than three months living expenses that I can access. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have a will. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have all important documents in a safe place and my executoror appropriate family member knows where these records are kept. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have provided for my family when I die. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘No’ answers indicate the work to be done.

Improve Your Work LifeThe following statements will indicate how happy you are at work:I am happy with the work that I do/ I have a plan and date set by which I’ll do work that I love. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the income I earn. Yes ❏ No ❏

I like the people I work with. Yes ❏ No ❏

I like my work content. Yes ❏ No ❏

I like the place where I work. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am happy with the way my workplace is organised. Yes ❏ No ❏

I agree with the values of the organisation I work for. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘No’ answers indicate the areas to work on.Write down ways that you can improve your current situation.

If you are doing work that you dislike, set a date by which you plan to stop doing it.Youmay need to adjust the date forward or backward as you progress, the important thingis to keep in mind that this work is only temporary.Remember,that passion and work gohand in hand—in the long term don’t settle for less than you really want.



Create Your LifestyleThe key to living a great life is to add some of the things you have always wanted intoyour life today.Don’t wait for tomorrow,or until your life is perfect,or until you can affordit. If you do,you’ll wait forever.Just add these things into your life in a responsible,afford-able way.

I plan to:Listen to music I enjoy Have a long soak in a bubble bathUse more luxurious towels Have beautiful flowersHave a regular massage Read more good booksHave a manicure Dine out moreWalk in beautiful areas Have regular holidaysParticipate in a hobby I enjoy Do more for the communitySee my friends more oftenCreate an environment which expresses who I amAdd your own as well.

Adding beauty to your life whenever you can touches your soul and brings you to alevel where it is easier to create.But it won’t touch your soul if you don’t have the moneyto pay for it.

Indulging yourself doesn’t mean living beyond your means; you allow into your life asmuch as you can afford now.The reality is, for most people, that’s a lot more than theyrealise. Most people spend a lot of money chasing the consolation prize, filling them-selves up with things they don’t really want.

The Importance of CongruenceThe important thing is to really know who you are and to really know what you want,and to live every aspect of your life with those things in mind—in other words, to becongruent.

Being congruent means eliminating everything from your life that is not in accordancewith who you really are. Eliminate thoughts, words and actions that are not taking youwhere you want to go.Act on a daily basis as if all of your dreams will come true in thenext three months, and watch what happens.

To Do This WeekSelect one area of your life to work on and begin the process of establishing congru-ence.


























Did you act today like a person who is comfortable with money?a-no / b-yes

Did you act today like a person who has harmonious relationships?a-no / b-yes

Did you act today like a person who enjoys his/her work today?a-no / b-yes

Did you act today like a person who believes she can have what she wants today? a-no / b-yes



Notes



Summary of Step Eight

Allow no doubtThink back to when you first learnt to ride a bike; you probably felt really exciteduntil a doubt entered your mind, at that stage you most likely lost your balance.Doubt undermines your goals. It’s like a constant stream of water trickling under afoundation that eventually undermines the structure of the whole building.

I actively listen to the words people say, these are the clues that tell me what theirreal beliefs are.One day I noticed how many people, including myself, started theirsentences with ‘I think’. It’s a very common expression. If you are one of many whouse this expression stop and think about what you’re really saying. Sometimes youmight be thinking out loud, but more often than not it’s habit, you’ve become soaccustomed to saying it you do so even when it’s unnecessary.

Make a conscious effort to eliminate any words that imply doubt from your vocab-ulary.A lot of the time these words are unnecessary. If you need to say something inplace of ‘I’ll try’ for instance, say ‘I’m working on…’ instead.

Give Thanks in AdvanceGiving thanks in advance is one of the most powerful things you can do. Ask forwhat you want by all means but you only need to do so once.After that give thanksbefore the object of your desire is present in your life, then give thanks after it man-ifests as well. It’s the perfect way to allow no doubt and to break the worry habit atthe same time.

If you tend to worry give thanks for everything that is good in your life every timeyou realise that you are dwelling on something you don’t want to happen.This caninclude the sun, air, trees, the beauty of nature, your great country. You can givethanks for your home,possessions, friends, intellect, ideas,work and the people thatyou love, the list is endless, we all have so much to be grateful for.

Decide now not to waste precious time and energy dwelling on something that maynever happen.

Allowing no doubt doesn’t mean that you’ll feel totally confident every minute ofthe day; it means that you simply don’t dwell on the possibility of getting less thanyou really want.



Step Eight

Allow no doubtThe process of creation involves changing the beliefs and habits of a lifetime.So,when-ever something goes wrong, you are being presented with another opportunity torelease, forgive and accept your worthiness to receive.

It may be you didn’t take the time to do the work in the first place because you were intoo much of a hurry.You don’t need to start all over again, just act as if you have nodoubt.

Understanding FocusFocus is where we put our energy on a daily basis.

When you constantly talk about what you are doing wrong, the problems in your lifeand your daily irritations, your focus is on what you don’t want. Completing the check-list at the end of each day and creating a daily routine are ways to stay focused onwhat’s really important to you.

Trust Your PowerImagine you have problems with money, and there is not enough to go around. So yougo around saying positive affirmations to attract more money. In between these affirma-tions you rehearse what you will say to your creditors, or you avoid opening billsbecause that will only make you depressed, you avoid doing any financial planningbecause that means you’ll have to face up to your current situation.In this situation youractions would be in conflict with your words and this most likely would result in a fluc-tuating financial situation.The yoyo cycle stems from a lack of trust in yourself and yourown power.

Trust is not a feeling—it is action.

What new habit can you establish that will assist you to counteract doubt?



And for those who lack trust because of things that happened in the past, think aboutthis: your past doesn’t affect your life—your life today is a result of what you put yourattention on. Just stay focused on now.

Take Care Who You Share Your Dreams WithWhen you talk about what you want to others you weaken your resolve.

Only you can decide if you want to keep all of your dreams to yourself. However, if youdo decide to share them with others,take extreme care choosing whom you share themwith.

In future I will only share my dreams with:

Follow Your First ThoughtTo change a root thought act on your ideas.You must act quickly, or your intellect willkill the idea before you know it.

Acting on your first thought means trusting your intuition. If you’re unsure about this tobegin with check if the impulse matches your values. If it does you can proceed, if notyou may wish to make another choice.Over time,and with practise,you will learn to dif-ferentiate between intuition and fear.

Watch Your WordsI often say words such as:I think Yes ❏ No ❏

I guess Yes ❏ No ❏

I’ll try Yes ❏ No ❏

Perhaps Yes ❏ No ❏

Possibly Yes ❏ No ❏

Hopefully Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers all indicate doubt. When said excessively these wordsundermine you.



Just imagine you say “I think”,or a variation of it such as “I guess”,“perhaps”,“I’ll try”,“pos-sibly” or,“maybe” hundreds of times a day—what do you think will happen? You’ll con-stantly doubt yourself. So make a conscious effort to eliminate any words that implydoubt from your vocabulary.

And remember, allowing no doubt doesn’t mean that you will feel totally confidentevery minute of the day; it means that you simply don’t allow yourself to dwell on thepossibility of getting less than what you really want.

Give Thanks in AdvanceAt this point stop saying your statement of truth and replace it with giving thanks, as ifyou already have what you want. Giving thanks in advance is one of the most powerfulthings you can do.

Write down some of things that you can give thanks in advance for. For example:I give thanks for my beautiful new home.

I give thanks for my perfect work.

I give thanks for peace and harmony at home.

To Do This WeekTake particular note of any words that you say that implies doubt.

Find positive replacements for these statements.

Give thanks for everything that you want on a daily basis, as if you already have it.

Stop talking about what you want.



Notes


Did you say any words today which implied doubt?a-yes/b-no

Did you keep your focus on what you want?a-no/b-yes

Did you scatter your energy today by talking needlessly about your dreams today? a-yes/b-no

Did you give thanks in advance today?a-no/b-yes

Did you act on your first thought today?a-no/b-yes



Summary of Step Nine

Love and respect yourselfThis is the step that a lot of people need help with because many people havenever been taught how to love and respect themselves.To put it in a nutshell, lov-ing and respecting yourself is about taking responsibility to fill your own needs; toaccept responsibility for achieving your own goals and to communicate yourneeds to others.

The most common needs that we all share are:To love and be loved.

To be honest with ourselves.

To be valued.

To love ourselves.

To be passionate about our work or a hobby.

To make time to connect with our spirit.

To create balance in our lives.

To accept the differences between us.

And we need to trust.

A large part of loving yourself is about learning to set standards and boundaries.Upuntil now you’ve taught people how to treat you by tolerating behaviour which issometimes less than acceptable to you. If for instance your boss screams abuse atyou and you do nothing, you effectively state by your actions that it’s okay to treatyou that way.

It’s not uncommon for many people to put up with less than they want in their rela-tionships.When you were young you had no control over how people treated you,now you do. It’s your responsibility to communicate your standards.

It takes courage and persistence to act on this step but it is one that will truly trans-form your life.



Step Nine

Love and respect yourselfFeelings of powerlessness stem from not taking the time to love and accept responsi-bility for yourself.This feeling is often behind problems such as;addictions,money prob-lems, relationship problems, weight issues and even confusion about what you want.

To go beyond powerlessness to authentic power, you need to understand what lovingand respecting yourself means.Self respect is about how you feel about yourself on theinside, not what you have on the outside.

Know Your Real NeedsIt is your responsibility to take whatever steps are necessary to meet your own needs.

Tick the statements that best describes you:Do I act like a person who is loved? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I cherish myself? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I act in a way that will draw the man/woman of my dreams into my life? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I act in a way that will encourage the man/woman in my life to treat me the way that I want? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I act as if I am good enough? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I act like a responsible person? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do I act like the person I want to be? Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘No’ answers indicate the areas you need to accept more responsibility.The common emotional needs that we all share are:

We Need to Love and Be LovedFor most of us close personal relationships are our greatest source of happiness and ourgreatest source of pain.

Choose from the heart by all means but understand that happy, harmonious relation-ships are not about need fulfilment. They provide you with opportunities, on a dailybasis, to choose to be the highest and best of who you are.

Write down some of the opportunities that your relationships provide you with:



We Need to Be Honest With OurselvesBeing honest with yourself about what you want,and how you really feel,is the only wayto be free.Instead of being honest though we sometimes hide our real desires from our-selves. Instead we make excuses, or we blame others for not fulfilling them—and wealso hide our pain and sadness behind addictions, or by pretending to be somethingwe’re not.

When you live beyond your means, when you live and mix in circles with people whohave much more money and freedom than you can afford,when you have to have a cer-tain standard of living in order to be happy—you’ve settled for the consolation prizeand you’re not being honest with yourself.

That doesn’t mean that you cannot have friends that are better off than you are—butbeware of living up to an image,usually a false one.This is the easiest thing to deny andjustify by saying,“But I just like nice things”.

Answer these questions honestly: A BWould you move to a different part of town, which means lowering your standard of living for a period of time, say a year or two, if it meant you would be better off financially over the long term? No ❏ Yes ❏

Would you be embarrassed if other people discovered your real financial situation? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you infer that you are better off than you are? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you feel that you are better than some people? Yes ❏ No ❏

Are you mad at yourself? Yes ❏ No ❏

Are you mad at life for giving you such a raw deal? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you blame your husband/partner for not giving/or for preventing you from having the life you want? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you feel cheated of your rightful heritage? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you feel like a failure when you don’t have what you want? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you obsess over what you want until you get it? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do you feel tired all the time? Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

The A column indicates a lack of self respect. You can change this by acceptingmore responsibility for your life and the achievement of your goals.You can have what you desire in life, but if having your desires means giving up yourself-respect you won’t get it—you’ll find your life going around in circles. Self-respectcomes from a feeling inside you, but when your life is a lie you expend so much ener-gy living up to that lie, that there’s not enough energy left over to create the reality youreally desire.

By being totally honest with yourself,you redirect your energy so that you can deal withthe real issue, thereby setting yourself free. That does not mean that you have to telleverybody your business, you just stop pretending to be something you’re not.



We Need to Be ValuedBeing loved does not necessarily mean being valued. Being valued is about the stan-dards that we set for how we allow other people to treat us.

You are responsible for you and for how you allow others to treat you.

Write down some standards that you can set and maintain that will help you feelbetter about yourself. Even simple things like telling tradesmen or repairmen whatyou expect at the outset will make a difference to how you feel about yourself.

We Need to Love OurselvesSelf love is about taking responsibility for filling your own needs,rather than waiting for,or expecting, someone else to do it for you.When you really love yourself you put your-self first. This is not about being selfish—it’s the same as putting the oxygen mask onyourself in a plane first, so that you can help others.You cannot help anyone else untilyou can look after yourself.

The following statements will give you some indication of how much you loveyourself:I am able to ask for what I want and I communicate my expectations to others. Yes ❏ No ❏

I do something everyday to nurture myself. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am able to say “No”. Yes ❏ No ❏



I accept all of my feelings. Yes ❏ No ❏

It’s okay for me to feel vulnerable. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am able to say to myself in the mirror,“I love you”. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am able to receive from others graciously. Yes ❏ No ❏

I find positive ways to comfort myself when I am hurt. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am comfortable asking others for what I want. Yes ❏ No ❏

I make time for what is important to me. Yes ❏ No ❏

I am comfortable saying what I feel. Yes ❏ No ❏

I allow regular time for fun. Yes ❏ No ❏

It’s okay for me to make mistakes. Yes ❏ No ❏

I regularly spend time doing things I enjoy. Yes ❏ No ❏

I have friends I share my leisure time with. Yes ❏ No ❏

I know and communicate my rules. Yes ❏ No ❏

I laugh a lot. Yes ❏ No ❏

I feel comfortable spending money on myself. Yes ❏ No ❏

I allow myself to have what I want. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘’No’ answers indicate you need to love yourself more.Write down some ways that you can demonstrate self love:

We Need PassionPassion in this instance is not about romance—it’s about doing something that youlove.Doing work that is your passion is the ideal,however,if this isn’t possible at this timethen add something into your life that you are passionate about; it could be a hobby,sport, or volunteer work.

Write down something (not someone) you are passionate about:

How can you add more passion into your life?



We Need Time to Connect With Our SpiritToo much busyness,and always ‘doing’ takes you away from inner peace. It’s easy to for-get that life is not just about the achievement of goals, getting through the day, lookingafter a family, or doing your job. By taking time out to connect with your spirit you getback to what’s really important, it’s the pathway to self fulfilment (this is covered in StepSix:You create from within first).

Write down some ways you can connect with your spirit:

We Need BalanceYou cannot expect one area of your life to fulfil all of your needs.For instance,when youfirst fall in love everything seems wonderful,but this time doesn’t last forever—when thehoneymoon period ends it doesn’t mean that you are any less in love.

Some people feel discontented after they’ve been in a relationship for awhile and it’seasy at this time to wonder what’s gone wrong with the relationship—when all that feel-ing of discontent means, is that it’s time to create balance in another area of your life.

Write down some areas of your life where you need to create more balance:

How can you do this?

Filling your own needs is not something that you do only once,it’s something that needsto be done on a regular basis.



We Need to Accept The Differences Between UsA part of filling your own needs, and accepting others, is to understand that we are alldifferent, and that includes the way in which we go about setting and achieving goals.

Some people like to set goals in a very linear fashion.They write their goals down,makea plan and set a date for their achievement, this is the traditional method for goal set-ting. But that method doesn’t suit everyone.

Others prefer to have an intention.They put out for what they want, they may visualiseor affirm, and act only when they feel intuitively led to do so.

Write down some ways that you could accept others more:

We Need to TrustFulfilling your own needs is about trusting yourself and your ability to fill those needs.Youneed to be able to trust yourself before you can trust someone else or a higher power.

How trusting are you?I know that I can have everything that I choose, and it’s just a matter of time so I can wait for the things that may be out of myreach right now. Yes ❏ No ❏

No matter what others may say or imply, I know that I deserve to have my heart’s desires. Yes ❏ No ❏

I know that I don’t have to look a certain way, or live a certain way in order to be acceptable, or prove anything. Yes ❏ No ❏

I know that I will always love myself, therefore I act in a way that states clearly that I will not accept abuse in any form. Yes ❏ No ❏

I make time for the things that I enjoy regularly. Yes ❏ No ❏

I make time to live a balanced life. Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘No’ answers indicate the need for more trust.

Trust is Acting Even When You Feel DoubtfulTrust is just like a muscle—you develop it by trusting yourself first.As you demonstratelove and trust for yourself, you will attract it into your life from others.

To Do This WeekTake stock of how well you look after yourself and whether you accept responsibility forfulfilling your own needs.

Take note of how much you value yourself in relations to others.Also note how often youget annoyed because someone else doesn’t do for you all you would like them to do.

Go out of your way to make time for yourself and the things you love.



Notes







Did you honour your own needs today?a-no/b-yes

Did you make time for yourself today?a-no/b-yes



Notes



Summary of Step Ten

You can have everything you want when you don’t need it

You know that when the seeds are in the ground in your garden you can’t see them,that doesn’t mean they aren’t growing. When seedlings appear you can see themalthough they are still tiny and vulnerable, and not yet like the flowers they willbecome once in full bloom.If you gave up your life to stand guard and watch theseseedlings grow you would miss a good deal of life and its pleasures.Yet this is pre-cisely what you do when you obsess over what you want,by thinking about it all thetime and trying to work out ways to achieve your goals, you miss out on enjoyingeveryday life.

Your thoughts and words are like food and water you give your plants. Feed yourdreams regularly with thoughts, words and actions that support that dream—thenget on with your life.You won’t achieve your dreams any faster by obsessing.

Obsession is akin to pulling out the seedlings everyday to see if the roots are grow-ing.

If you continued to do this all of your plants would eventually die.

The Ten Steps aren’t something that you practise just once, they are a lifetime com-mitment.However, the more you live them,the easier they become and the day willcome when practising them is so natural you won’t even have to think about it. If atany time you feel stuck, or confused look for the opportunity within your problem.Go back to the Steps and look for one that’s appropriate to your situation.You mayhave an opportunity to love and respect yourself more or you may need to changea limiting belief.

Remember that life doesn’t just happen to you, you create it. Letting go doesn’tmean giving up your dream,although it may mean that you let go of how and whenyou will achieve it.



Step Ten

You can have everything you want when you don’t need it

The hardest thing for most of us to do is to let go—yet it’s this very action that will drawall that you desire into your life. It’s not uncommon when you really, really, want some-thing, to think about it all the time,sometimes until the thought of it consumes much ofyour waking hours.You may talk about it to others,plan for it,and live for the day whenyour dream becomes a reality, but often these actions can sabotage your efforts.

When you want something too much, when your happiness depends upon theachievement of goals, then fear and doubt have a fertile breeding ground. Before longfear-filled thoughts of worry and doubt can enter your consciousness, and soon afteryour focus shifts from what you want, to worrying about whether or when, you will getit—or worse still, to trying to make it happen.

There are some people who think and act positively, but still struggle to achieve theirgoals, and that’s because they haven’t really detached from the outcome.

When you think about what you want all of the time, you are focusing on getting.

When you support your goals with positive thoughts and actions and then focus on giv-ing, you will achieve your goals easily and effortlessly.

When you get on with your life, accept responsibility for yourself, and believe that youcan have your heart’s desires, things just work out of their own accord.

Commitment Versus EgoThink about what commitment means for you, and ask yourself if you are really com-mitted to your dream, or is your ego holding you back.

When you dictate how you will achieve your goals,or limit what you will do,your choic-es are usually governed by your ego.When you try to make things happen, you act outof fear.

How committed are you, if it was necessary would you:Clean houses? Yes ❏ No ❏

Be a labourer? Yes ❏ No ❏

Sweep streets? Yes ❏ No ❏

Stay in the job you hate? Yes ❏ No ❏

Would you take any job for the short term? Yes ❏ No ❏

Get up an hour earlier? Yes ❏ No ❏

Study? Yes ❏ No ❏

Do what you love for nothing, while working at another job? Yes ❏ No ❏

Total ____ ____

Your ‘Yes’ answers indicate your level of commitment.



If you answered predominantly ‘No’,you may find that you are still bonded to the tribe,so you need to go back and review Step One: Break free from the tribe, if you are seri-ous about living your dream.

In the choosing phase (Step Three: Choose what makes you happy), you decide whatyou desire and you try it on—does this suit who you are and the life you want to live?You then ensure that your daily habits support these choices, then you get on with life.

This stage of getting on with it with faith is an important one.

What you desire you attract, what you need you repel. The key to success is in theknowing.When you know you can have everything that you desire and it’s just a matterof time before it manifests,you get on with your life.That means remembering your pur-pose by demonstrating being the highest and best of who you are on a daily basis—and you do that by living from love, instead of fear.

The question to ask yourself is:How would you live if you knew it was just a matter of time before you hadeverything that you wanted?

What you would do for others, and for the world at large?



Living Your DreamYou can be finally free to live your dream,you just need to claim what you want for your-self.The process of creating the life you want is simple,but not always easy. It takes prac-tise to change the habits of a lifetime,to stop yourself from reacting in the same old way,and to master new habits that support your choices.

The Ten Steps are not something that you practise just once, they are a lifetime com-mitment.However,the more you live them,the easier it gets and the day will come whenpractising them is so natural you won’t even have to think about it. If at any time youfeel stuck,or confused,then you can go back to these steps for guidance.They can trans-form your life.

Remember, it’s you and no-one else who decides what your life will be. Letting go doesnot mean giving up your dream, but it may mean that you let go of how and when youwill achieve it.

To Do From Now OnEnsure that you keep your focus on what you want and off what you don’t want.

Ensure that your thoughts, words and actions support each other.

Every time you experience a problem,think about what aspect of yourself that you wantto demonstrate.

Act as if you already have everything that you want on a daily basis and live your lifeaccordingly.

Complete the daily checklist at the end of each day for the coming week and longer ifyou choose.



Notes







Did you honour your own needs today?a-no/b-yes

Did you make time for yourself today?a-no/b-yes

Did you let go and trust today?a-no/b-yes



Notes




About Anne Hartley and Hart Life CoachingAnne Hartley is the founder of Hart Life Coaching (a division of Hart Publishing

Pty Ltd).The purpose of this business is to empower individuals so that they can cre-ate a life they really love.

We believe that when we work together for the greater good of all,we achieve moreand more people benefit. To this end we train individuals to be life coaches, who inturn can use our material and resources with their individual clients. We are not afranchise organisation and we do not take a percentage of our graduates income.Coaches trained by us conduct their own businesses.

Our core training program,The Ten Steps, was created by Anne Hartley.Anne, whois best known for her work with money issues, at one time owned a women’s invest-ment advisory business. During this time she developed a course known asFinancially Free, which focused on changing attitudes to money as well as habits.Thislater developed into the best-selling book Financially Free.

Anne has spent more than thirty years studying, researching and applying self-development principles to her own life, then sharing them with clients and book read-ers.As a single parent, seeking to create a better life, she started four small businesses(sometimes without any start up capital), and sold all of them at a profit.

During the early nineties Anne found that while she’d achieved many of her per-sonal goals, they did not make her happy. She spent the next few years searching fora way to create a life that she loved. This search resulted in The Ten Step program.Anne began sharing these steps with her personal clients and this led to the devel-opment of Hart Life Coaching, the training organisation.

If you are looking for a life coachAnne coaches a limited number of clients either on a casual or regular basis. Shecan be contacted on the number listed below.

Information on accredited life coaches can be found on our web page www.hartlifecoaching.com.au ,or you can contact our office.

If you are interested in becoming a life coachAll of our training programs are conducted over the phone in groups usingteleconferencing facilities, or individually. Individual training can be done face-to-face, by phone, or by correspondence.This means that distance is no object. Ourintention is to have many like-minded coaches assisting individuals throughout theworld to create a life they really love.

For more information about our life coach training program, please visit our websitewww.hartlifecoaching.com.au, or you can contact our office.

Hart Life CoachingP O Box 687 Dee Why 2099AustraliaTelephone: (0061) 2 9940 1575Fax: (0061) 2 9940 2091Email: [email protected]


Resources

We have a number of products that can assist you to create a life you love.

The Psychology of Money Anne HartleyDiscover the secrets of successful people.This book is full of inspirational storiesabout real people who have achieved their dreams.$19.95 including GST

Love The Life You LiveThis book gives an in depth explanation of each of the Ten Steps and includesinspirational stories of people who have used this process to change their lives.$19.95 including GST

Love The Life You Live cassette programReading a book is part of the process, to make it a part of your daily life you need tohear it over and over again. This cassette program, recorded by Anne Hartley,willhelp you establish new habits so that you too can create a life you love.$19.95 including GST

Please add $2 postage for each item (Australia only)

All of the abovementioned products are available from:Hart Publishing Pty Ltd (ABN 52 002 391 086)

P O Box 687 Dee Why 2099 AustraliaTelephone: (0061) 2 9940 1575

Fax: (0061) 2 9940 2091Email: [email protected]


Love the Life You Live - Hart Life Coaching

Documents

Transcript of Love the Life You Live - Hart Life Coaching