Love is...Misunderstood

7/29/2019 Love is...Misunderstood

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Love and other Fatalities.

Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara. Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler. No matter how

you say it, those names were destined to go hand-in-hand, up there with the likes of

Paris and Helen of Troy, Jack and Rose a la Titanic, Romeo and Juliet. But what do

all these stories have in common? Two lovers facing adversity. Fiercely passionate

women, heartrendingly romantic men and, of course, tragedy.

Romeo and Juliet took their own lives to be together. Jack gave up his life to

save Rose's when after the Titanic's demise. And in 'Gone with the Wind'? Scarlett

realises she has been in love with the ever-present Rhett when it is too late, when

she has finally got everything that she has ever wanted except the thing she has

always had but never wanted, Rhett. Which is perhaps the most tragic ending of all.

Love, as we are all constantly reminded, is complicated. A complicated, messy,

painful affair. But in literature, or on the big screen, it becomes tragic, heart-

wrenching, fatal. Let's take Margaret Mitchell's iconic American Civil War biopic

'Gone with the Wind' as an example. The tale unfolds in correlation with the

significant events of the Civil War of the 1800's between the Southern Confederates

and the Northern Yankees. We as the audience are firmly placed in favour of the

doomed Confederates, since it is within the Southern county of Georgia that our

reluctant heroine is thriving on the eve of the Civil War declaration. In pre-War

Georgia, which is where the story is established, we see for the first time the

beautiful but eternally selfish Scarlett O'Hara thriving; a beautiful county belle of a

rich noble ancestry, with slaves, money and rich, handsome suitors aplenty. Flirting,

dancing and tricking men into declaring their undying love for her were Scarlett's

favourite past-times. Her beauty and quick wit meant that there was not a man in the

County who could resist her charmsexcept Ashley Wilkes. A rich and handsome

neighbour of Scarlett's, a fellow County plantation-owner's son, with the world, and

the Wilkes family fortune, at his feet, but on the verge of an impending betrothal to

his cousin Melanie.

Of course, like every hot-blooded, passionate, beautiful woman, Scarlett

relishes a challenge. She wants Ashley, despite his betrothal to another woman and

her having every other eligible bachelor in the County on a shoe-string. In true

O'Hara fashion, she won't settle for anything less. What Scarlett O'Hara wants, she

gets. By any means necessary. When she tells Ashley before his engagement that

she is in love with him, and he tells her that he is to honour his promise to marryMelanie despite his attraction to her, Scarlett abandons her ladylike performance and


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shows her true colours -- brash, unladylike, selfish, passionate, violent,

temperamental. All the things she tries hard to masquerade from her suitors. After

her violent outburst to Ashley that ends in her throwing an ornament in her

frustration, Rhett Butler makes his untimely appearance, taunting her for having seen

her outburst, and now has the ammunition of knowing Scarlett's deepest secret of

her harboured feelings for Ashley. The subsequent conversational exchange

between the two sets the tone for their ongoing relationship: turbulent, violent, mis-

communicational. With Rhett's wit overshadowing hers, for the first time she has

found someone who could challenge her. As a result, Scarlett is at a loss of how to

deal with this handsome stranger who knows more about her than she can stand,

and who is seemingly immune to her beauty and charm. Thus begins a turbulent

love affair, a roller-coaster of miscommunication, misplaced feelings,

misunderstandings and missed opportunities.

The book is a documentation of the constant love-triangle of the three

protagonists: Scarlett is continually in love with Ashley, whose feelings are

reciprocated despite his marriage to her sister-in-law Melanie; yet Scarlett too is

twice married to men she has never loved (once to Melanie's brother out of spite and

once to wealthy businessman Frank Kennedy for money). Despite the competition

for Scarlett's affections, Rhett is secretly but completely, passionately, hopelessly in

love with her. Being the self-professed reprobate that he is, Rhett taunts her and

denies his feelings for her, but he lets his guard down and reveals his true feelings

for her on many occasions but to no avail, as Scarlett is too completely besotted with

Ashley to see what has always been in front of her.

Rhett and Scarlett's relationship is an emotional roller-coaster, consisting of

mainly antagonism and taunting, yet there is an undertone of genuine affection that

is felt between the couple, as he is the only person who understands the real

Scarlett, and he is the only one to whom she shows her true malicious, selfish,

egotistical, money-obsessed self to. Whilst she is blissfully unaware of the secret

feelings she harbours for Rhett, he doesn't reciprocate the same level of ignorance.

He knows that he loves her, and despite telling her that he is not a marrying man,

after the demise of her second husband Frank Kennedy, Rhett proposes to her. Of

course, if he tells Scarlett that he wants to marry her out of love, he knows Scarlett

would manipulate him as she has done to her countless beaux over the years, so he

feigns indifference and marries Scarlett so that she can have access to his vast

wealth, hoping that in time she will reciprocate his feelings if he is able to give her

everything she has always dreamed of.


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The marriage starts out as a happy one. Scarlett is happy that she is rich again,

and Rhett is content to spoil Scarlett like a child, waiting patiently for the time when

she gradually realises that she loves him. Of course, this time never comes, as

Scarlett is still dreaming of Ashley. Upon the birth of their first child together, Rhett's

interest in Scarlett begins to diminish, as he puts all his energy into caring for their

daughter, who loves Rhett unconditionally. He spoils Bonnie like he used to spoil

Scarlett, which elicits her jealousy. Things begin to deteriorate between Rhett and

Scarlett. She is infuriated that he is lavishing attention on their daughter and no

longer on her, whilst Rhett is inwardly seething that she has not yet forgotten Ashley.

One night, when Rhett has been heavily drinking, he vows to make Scarlett "forget

about that Ashley Wilkes once and for all!" and whisks her up to their bedroom. The

next morning, Scarlett wakes up truly happy, as she has seemingly recaptured

Rhett's attention. For the first time, she looks forward to seeing Rhett, and we as theaudience for the first time are hopeful for the two lovers. Maybe this will mark the

start of their newly awakened, reciprocal love. But upon Rhett's entrance, he is cold

and indifferent towards Scarlett, leaving her at a complete loss about how to act with

him, and does the only thing she knows how -- she becomes angry and hurtful.

Misinterpreting the situation, upset that his plan hasn't worked and assuming that

Scarlett doesn't, nor has ever, loved him, he is utterly defeated and takes Bonnie on

an extended trip to get away from Scarlett.

On their return some weeks later, Scarlett is apprehensive. During their time

apart she has come to miss Rhett immensely, and has discovered news of which

she was uncharacteristically optimistic: their night of passion before Rhett's

impromptu departure has led to Scarlett becoming pregnant. Since she knows how

much Rhett dotes on their daughter, she is hoping that this will fix their deteriorating

relationship. When he comes back and she tells him, he is thrilled, but feigns

indifference because he thinks she doesn't want any more children. Thinking that he

is uninterested, she is disappointed - She craved the passion, love, attention he

lavished on her at the start of their relationship. Wanting to hurt her as she has hurt

him, Rhett tells her "Cheer up, my dear, maybe you'll have a miscarriage", to which

Scarlett lashes out at him, trips, and tumbles down the stairs. Looking utterly

devastated, we realise that Rhett never meant what he said, and wanted both

Scarlett and their unborn child as vehemently as he dismissed them.

As Rhett had ironically foreshadowed, Scarlett lost their baby, and her road to

recovery was hard. He waited outside her door every day to see if she called for him.

She never did. In her sick-bed, she called for him, waiting for him to come to her. Henever did. Both think the other doesn't care. They both do, but they never realise


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until it is too late.

When Scarlett makes a full recovery, their relationship has never been worse.

They have both completely misunderstood each other, and have convinced

themselves that the other does not love them, when they both are completely and

secretly in love with the other. Who said the road to true love was easy? But they

both stayed together for the sake of their child, and were still civil to each other for

their daughter. One day shortly after the accident, Rhett's determination that Bonnie

should be a good horse rider led to Bonnie aiming a high jump on her pony. As she

was gearing up for the jump, Scarlett had a flashback to her father's death, a broken

neck due to a miscalculated jump on his horse, and screamed at Bonnie to stop. She

didn't, and as a result she was catapulted off her horse and broke her neck, just like

her late grandfather, like Scarlett had foreseen. Scarlett was devastated, but Rhettwas inconsolable. He saw Bonnie as Scarlett, and her death marked the beginning

of the end for Scarlett and Rhett's already deteriorating marriage.

Wanting to hurt Rhett for all the emotional pain he had caused, she blamed him

for Bonnie's death because he taught her to ride and had spoilt her so much that

Bonnie had become more pig-headed than even Scarlett. Rhett, too, channelled his

devastation into lashing out at Scarlett. Their relationship was worse than ever, and

after Bonnie's funeral Melanie, the one person who had been there for Scarlett

throughout the trials and tribulations of her life, collapsed after falling pregnant again.

The birth of her son Beau nearly killed Melanie, and the strain of her miscarriage

during the second, ill-fated pregnancy, was the last straw. Melanie was dying. Her

dying words to Scarlett were informing her that Rhett loved her more than she

realised, and made Scarlett promise that she would look after both Ashley and Beau.

Melanie died without ever knowing about Scarlett and Ashley's betrayal, and this

was all it took for Scarlett to realise how much she had always loved Melanie,

despite everything she had put Melanie through.

This was it, this was what Scarlett had always wanted. Melanie was gone,

Rhett had asked for a divorce. Scarlett and Ashley were now free to marry each

other, like she had always wanted. But in true Scarlett O'Hara fashion, she still

wasn't happy. Now she had what she always wanted, she realised that this was

never what she wanted. She knew, in that moment, that Ashley had always loved

Melanie, not her. It was with this realisation, and her rejection of Ashley, that she

suddenly, passionately, instantly knew what, and who, she had always wanted:

Rhett, who had been there, who had loved her, all along.


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Racing home to tell him, she was dismayed to find him packing. He was leaving

her. Like the Rhett Butler she had always known and loved, he was stubborn,

refusing to make her declaration easy. She told him everything, from her happiness

at the pregnancy to the fact that she called for him every day during her

convalescence and her disappointment when he didn't come to her. Laughing

humourlessly at the irony of their crossed paths and miscommunications, Rhett tells

her that it is hopeless, that he had always loved her, but now that Bonnie had gone,

so had their hope at happiness. Despite Scarlett trying in vain to make him stay,

Rhett's answer to Scarlett's pleas of love were answered with a quick wit and an

even quicker exit. It was all over, the fights, the double entendres, the missed

opportunities, the passion, their unrequited love for each other. In eight words, it was

all over. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".

How is that for tragic? Just as Scarlett realises that it is, and has always been,

Rhett whom she loves, he falls out of love with her. Boom, it all comes crashing

down. While the entire duration of the book makes us despise Scarlett for all her

selfishness, pigheadedness, vanity, manipulation and downright stubbornness, we

do feel sorry for her at the end for not only realising that the man she had lusted over

for nigh-on 20 years was a fragment of her imagination, a mere screen onto which

she projected her own fantasies of what she wanted Ashley to be, but also because

she, through her realisation, loses the only man she has ever really loved. She

realises everything that Rhett said was true: she would never be happy with Ashley

because they are so different, and that she is in love with the idea of Ashley, her

amalgamation of him, not the person himself. He continually told her that she needed

someone who knew her, who was so infinitely like her, in order to be happy. He also

prophesied that, should she continue lusting after the physically- and emotionally-

unavailable Ashley, she was "throwing away happiness with both hands". Should

she have listened to Rhett, she may well have got her fairytale ending. But as it

stands, she was blinded by her own ignorance. Ignorance was the fatality of Scarlett

O'Hara and Rhett Butler. And that is more infinitely tragic than death, the knowledge

that Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, despite their interweaving fate, will never find

happiness. This is more of a fatality than Jack Dawson's death, than Romeo and

Juliet's double suicide. These merely marked the end of their lives, Scarlett and

Rhett's was the death of their love, a love that would never again be reignited.

Love is...Misunderstood

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