Lost in the Rainforest Slide5 · K NEXT Here is a paragraph and the notes that were used to write...
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www .planbee.com NEXT Learning Objective: To edit the content of a non - chronological report Lost in the Rainforest Non - chronological Reports
Transcript of Lost in the Rainforest Slide5 · K NEXT Here is a paragraph and the notes that were used to write...
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Learning Objective: To edit the content of a non-chronological report
Lost in the Rainforest
Non-chronological Reports
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We are going to edit our draft writing from the previous lesson.
What does edit mean? What will we have to do?
Think, pair, then share your ideas.
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But why should we edit our work?
Think, pair, then share your ideas.
This means making a change to part of your writing by: adding, removing, altering, or moving around some of
your words and sentences.
EDIT
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These are some of the things you might think when you are told to edit your work...
My writing must
be rubbish if I'm
being told to do it
again.
I must have made lots of
mistakes.
I tried really hard with
my writing - why is it
never good enough?
Have you ever thought any of these things?
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Editing our work is an essential part of becoming a better writer.
All professional writers edit their work. They want to make sure that they have presented the information clearly and
in an interesting way for the reader.
Many writers make several drafts (versions) of their work before they are happy with it.
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Here is a paragraph and the notes that were used to write it:
Diet
• Eats fallen fruit on floor
• Catches and eats beetles
with sticky tongue
• Eats lots of different food
• Takes food up onto a tree
branch to eat it
Diet
This animal eats lots of different types of food. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
What do you think of it?Share your opinions.
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Diet
This animal eats lots of different types of food. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
What would you do to edit this paragraph?
This paragraph has included all of the notes in a sensible, helpful order for the reader. However, it could be made
more interesting to keep the reader's attention...
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Here are some ways in which we can edit writing in order to make it
more interesting for the reader:
Use conjunctions
Use different sentence starters
Add appropriate adjectives
Improve the vocabulary used
Let's take a look at how we can use each of these suggestions to edit a paragraph...
Diet
This animal eats lots of different types of food. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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The technical word for an animal that
eats both plants and other animals is an
omnivore.
Improve the vocabulary used
How would you edit the highlighted sentence to include this word?
Diet
This animal eats lots of different types of food. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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BACK NEXTDo you think this sentence makes the
paragraph better?
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects.
Improve the vocabulary used
SUGGESTED EDIT
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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It might be helpful for the reader to know
more about the fruit that the animal eats, as well as its sticky tongue.
Add appropriate adjectives
What adjectives could you add to better describe these words and phrases?
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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Add appropriate adjectives
�Do you think the addition of these words
makes the paragraph better?
rotting
extremely flexible,
SUGGESTED EDITS
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats rotting fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its extremely flexible, sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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Two of the sentences start with the same word: 'It'.
One of the sentences could be rearranged so
that it begins differently.
Use different sentence starters
Which sentence would you rearrange, and how?
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats rotting fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. It catches and eats beetles with its extremely flexible, sticky tongue. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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�
Do you think the way this sentence has been rearranged produces a better
sentence starter?
Using its extremely flexible, sticky tongue, the creature catches and eats beetles.
Use different sentence starters
SUGGESTED EDIT
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats rotting fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. Using its extremely flexible, sticky tongue, the creature catches and eats beetles. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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Use conjunctions
�
What conjunction would you use to extend the sentence?
Extra information could be added to the
highlighted sentence to explain why the animal does this. A conjunction could be used to extend
the sentence.
Diet
This animal is an omnivore with a wide-ranging diet, including many plants and insects. It eats rotting fruit that has fallen from the trees onto the floor. Using its extremely flexible, sticky tongue, the creature catches and eats beetles. Sometimes, the animal takes its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
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Use conjunctions
�
Can you identify the conjunction used?
If it feels at risk from predators on the forest floor, the animal
will take its food up onto a tree branch to eat it.
SUGGESTED EDIT
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UNEDITED VERSION EDITED VERSION
Do you think it was worth taking the time to edit this paragraph? Why?
Re-read both versions:
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Now it's time for you to edit your paragraph
drafts from the previous lesson!
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Sit with a partner (not from the group or pair that you have worked with during
the main activity).
Share some of sentences that you have edited, and explain why you chose to
make these changes.
Plenary
