Looking Toward the Future. Understanding Life Stages n Understand the present n Take a glimpse into...

Looking Toward the FutureLooking Toward the Future

Understanding Life StagesUnderstanding Life Stages Understand the presentUnderstand the present Take a glimpse into the futureTake a glimpse into the future

Erik EriksonErik Erikson

Human beings pass through 8 stages in Human beings pass through 8 stages in a fixed ordera fixed order

Each stage is a turning pointEach stage is a turning point The outcome of each stage is positive The outcome of each stage is positive

or negativeor negative

What is your life stage?What is your life stage?What comes next?What comes next?

Stage 1: Trust Vs. MistrustStage 1: Trust Vs. Mistrust Age 0-1Age 0-1 If caregivers are consistent and caring, If caregivers are consistent and caring,

the child learns to trust the world as a the child learns to trust the world as a safe placesafe place

If the infant is abused or If the infant is abused or mistreated, he or she will mistreated, he or she will learn that the world is an learn that the world is an unsafe placeunsafe place

Stage 2: Autonomy Vs. Stage 2: Autonomy Vs. Shame and DoubtShame and Doubt Ages 1-3Ages 1-3 The children learn to feel competent by The children learn to feel competent by

feeding themselves, using the toilet and feeding themselves, using the toilet and playing aloneplaying alone

Or they learn to doubt Or they learn to doubt their abilitiestheir abilities

Stage 3: Initiative Vs. GuiltStage 3: Initiative Vs. Guilt Ages 3-5Ages 3-5 Children learn to plan their activities Children learn to plan their activities

within their parents guidelineswithin their parents guidelines Or they develop guilt over their Or they develop guilt over their

misbehaviormisbehavior

Stage 4: Industry Vs. Stage 4: Industry Vs. InferiorityInferiority Ages 5-11Ages 5-11 Children learn to meet the demands of Children learn to meet the demands of

teachers, parents and peersteachers, parents and peers They learn that effort They learn that effort

leads to successleads to success Or they develop a lifelong Or they develop a lifelong

feeling of inferiorityfeeling of inferiority

Stage 5: Identity Vs. Role Stage 5: Identity Vs. Role ConfusionConfusion Ages 11-18Ages 11-18 Children learn about their identity Children learn about their identity

(personality, interests, values)(personality, interests, values) They also learn about the They also learn about the

world of workworld of work Or they develop confusion Or they develop confusion

over their role in lifeover their role in life

Stage 6: Intimacy Vs. IsolationStage 6: Intimacy Vs. Isolation

Ages 18-40Ages 18-40 A person develops a A person develops a

loving, committed loving, committed relationship relationship

Or the adult becomes Or the adult becomes isolated from othersisolated from others

Stage 7: Generativity Vs. Stage 7: Generativity Vs. StagnationStagnation

Ages 40-65Ages 40-65 The adult contributes to The adult contributes to

future generations through future generations through raising children, helping others, raising children, helping others, developing products or coming up with developing products or coming up with creative new ideascreative new ideas

Or the adult becomes stagnant and self-Or the adult becomes stagnant and self-centeredcentered

Stage 8: IntegrityStage 8: Integrity Vs. Despair Vs. Despair Ages 65+Ages 65+ People reap the benefits of People reap the benefits of

all they have doneall they have done They realize that life is They realize that life is

temporarytemporary Or the individual struggles to Or the individual struggles to

find meaning in lifefind meaning in life

Another Life Stage TheoryAnother Life Stage TheoryDaniel LevinsonDaniel Levinson

Daniel LevinsonDaniel Levinson

Adult developmentAdult development Stages alternate between stable and Stages alternate between stable and

transitional periodstransitional periods Stable periods last 6-7 years during Stable periods last 6-7 years during

which people pursue their goals and which people pursue their goals and establish a structureestablish a structure

Transitional periods last 4-5 years and Transitional periods last 4-5 years and adults change the structure adults change the structure

What is Your Stage?What is Your Stage?

17-22 Transitional17-22 Transitional 22-28 Stable22-28 Stable 28-33 Transitional28-33 Transitional 33-40 Stable33-40 Stable 40-45 Transitional40-45 Transitional 45-50 Stable45-50 Stable 50-55 Transitional50-55 Transitional 55-60 Stable55-60 Stable

Another Theory:Another Theory:Gail SheehyGail SheehyAuthor of Author of Passages andPassages andNew PassagesNew Passages

Provisional Adulthood 18-30Provisional Adulthood 18-30

Two opposing goals:Two opposing goals: Exploration-Who am I?Exploration-Who am I? StabilityStability


Age 30 is a turning pointAge 30 is a turning point Feel confident in making choices Feel confident in making choices

without help from parents without help from parents


ChallengesChallenges Changing views on marriageChanging views on marriage Drugs, guns and violenceDrugs, guns and violence Gap between rich and poorGap between rich and poor AIDSAIDS Rapid changes in the world Rapid changes in the world

First Adulthood 30-45First Adulthood 30-45

At age 35 ask, “Is half of my life over?”At age 35 ask, “Is half of my life over?” The beginning of mid-life crisisThe beginning of mid-life crisis

What is mid-life crisis?What is mid-life crisis?

A major transition in life in which we A major transition in life in which we question what we did in the first half of question what we did in the first half of lifelife

Adults often make major changes in Adults often make major changes in their livestheir lives

What changes have you observed in What changes have you observed in adults going through mid-life crisis?adults going through mid-life crisis?


Adolescence the second time aroundAdolescence the second time around Sheehy calls it “middlescence”Sheehy calls it “middlescence”


Half of life is not overHalf of life is not over Half of life lies aheadHalf of life lies ahead A gateway to a new A gateway to a new

beginning of second beginning of second adulthoodadulthood

Second Adulthood Ages 45-85Second Adulthood Ages 45-85

Begins with the resolution of the mid-life Begins with the resolution of the mid-life crisiscrisis Age of Mastery 45-65Age of Mastery 45-65 Age of Integrity 65-85+Age of Integrity 65-85+

Age of Mastery 45-65Age of Mastery 45-65

The apex of lifeThe apex of life People have a sense People have a sense

of mastery and have of mastery and have experience with livingexperience with living

Age 50 is the youth Age 50 is the youth of second adulthoodof second adulthood

Successful AgingSuccessful Aging Determine what is important in lifeDetermine what is important in life Taking an active part in lifeTaking an active part in life Find what you enjoy and do itFind what you enjoy and do it

Age of Integrity 65-85+Age of Integrity 65-85+

Have learned how to live lifeHave learned how to live life The retirement transitionThe retirement transition Make contributions to Make contributions to

family and communityfamily and community

Health and Wellbeing in the Health and Wellbeing in the 60’s +60’s + Mature love is more Mature love is more

important than money important than money or poweror power

Continued growth and Continued growth and excitement about lifeexcitement about life

Exercise is the most Exercise is the most important factor in retarding important factor in retarding the aging processthe aging process

Sheehy defines aging as Sheehy defines aging as sageing-the process by which sageing-the process by which men and women accumulate men and women accumulate wisdom and grow into the wisdom and grow into the culture’s sages.culture’s sages.

Exercise: LifelineExercise: Lifeline

TURN YOUR PAPER SIDEWAYS

Start with your birth date

1947

Predict your date of death. Remember that we will probably live to be 100 years old. How are your health habits?

1947 2047OR LATER

Connect the dots

19472047 OR LATER

Locate today’s date

19472047 OR LATER2011

What significant events have occurred from birth to present?

19472047 OR LATER2011

•1964 LEFT HOME•1968 COLLEGE GRAD•1978 WORK AT CUYAMACA•1979 SON BORN•1982 DOCTORATE•1983 DAUGHTER BORN

When do you plan to finishyour degree or degrees?

19472047 OR LATER2011


Project some plans for the future.

19472047 OR LATER2011


•2006 NO KIDS•2007 RETIRE•2008 TRAVEL•2009 WRITE•2030 START BAND

What will happen after your death?

19472047 OR LATER2011


•2006 NO KIDS•2007 RETIRE•2008 TRAVEL•2009 WRITE•2030 START BAND

My kids will be happy and healthy. Maybe someone will still read my book.

Write 2 Statements:Write 2 Statements:

I discovered that I _________.I discovered that I _________.

Share.Share.

Thinking Positively About Thinking Positively About Your Life and Your FutureYour Life and Your Future

Powerful Tools for SuccessPowerful Tools for Success

OptimismOptimism HopeHope Future-MindednessFuture-Mindedness

Believe in YourselfBelieve in Yourself If we have positive beliefs about If we have positive beliefs about

ourselves, we will feel confident and ourselves, we will feel confident and accomplish our life goals. accomplish our life goals.

Beliefs:Beliefs:Personal opinions about Personal opinions about yourself, your life and the yourself, your life and the world around youworld around you

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Our expectations influence our Our expectations influence our behaviorsbehaviors

The behavior causes our expectations The behavior causes our expectations to come trueto come true

For ExampleFor Example

If I believe I am not good in math, I may If I believe I am not good in math, I may not do the assignment or may even not do the assignment or may even avoid taking mathavoid taking math

If I believe I can be good in math, I can If I believe I can be good in math, I can take the steps needed to be successful take the steps needed to be successful

Robert RosenthalRobert Rosenthal

Did experiments on the “self-fulfilling Did experiments on the “self-fulfilling prophecy”prophecy” Animals Animals School childrenSchool children

Positive expectations led to positive Positive expectations led to positive outcomesoutcomes

Positive Self-TalkPositive Self-Talk

The thoughts or silent inner voice in our The thoughts or silent inner voice in our headsheads

Negative ThoughtsNegative Thoughts

Can be toxic to the bodyCan be toxic to the body Can cause biochemical changes that Can cause biochemical changes that

lead to depressionlead to depression

Positive ThoughtsPositive Thoughts

Build good self-esteemBuild good self-esteem Help us to become confident in our Help us to become confident in our

abilitiesabilities Help us to achieve our life Help us to achieve our life

goalsgoals

Pretend you Pretend you had 3 wishes. had 3 wishes. What would What would they be?they be?

Using your wishes, write 3 Using your wishes, write 3 affirmation statements.affirmation statements.

Affirmation StatementsAffirmation Statements

Start with “I”Start with “I” Include your name Include your name Are written in the present tenseAre written in the present tense

For example:For example:I, Marsha, am relaxed.I, Marsha, am relaxed.I, Marsha, am healthy.I, Marsha, am healthy.

Share one of your affirmation Share one of your affirmation statements with the class.statements with the class.

Guidelines for Increasing Guidelines for Increasing Positive ThoughtsPositive Thoughts Monitor your thoughts. Are they Monitor your thoughts. Are they

positive or negative?positive or negative? When you notice a negative thought, When you notice a negative thought,

imagine rewinding a tape and recording imagine rewinding a tape and recording a new positive message.a new positive message.

Guidelines for Increasing Guidelines for Increasing Positive ThoughtsPositive Thoughts Start the positive message with “I” Start the positive message with “I”

and use the present tenseand use the present tense Make your affirmation stronger by Make your affirmation stronger by

visualizing what you want to visualizing what you want to achieveachieve

Repeat positive thoughts to Repeat positive thoughts to yourself until they become a habityourself until they become a habit

Visualize Your SuccessVisualize Your Success

Athletes Use VisualizationAthletes Use Visualization

A good way to practiceA good way to practice Helps you to pre-experience events in Helps you to pre-experience events in

your mindyour mind For example, pole vaulters For example, pole vaulters

imagine the perfect jump imagine the perfect jump before they make it before they make it

VisualizationVisualization

We create all things twiceWe create all things twice Make a mental Make a mental

picturepicture Create the physical Create the physical

reality by taking reality by taking actionaction

For example:For example:

In building a house weIn building a house we Create a blueprint or planCreate a blueprint or plan Then we build the house Then we build the house

As a college student:As a college student:

Visualize yourself in your cap and gown Visualize yourself in your cap and gown walking across the stage to receive your walking across the stage to receive your diplomadiploma

Exercise:Exercise:Visualize Your SuccessVisualize Your Success

Draw a picture, make a list or Draw a picture, make a list or write some sentences. write some sentences. Share with the classShare with the class

Hope for the BestHope for the Best

Believing that you can be successful Believing that you can be successful helps you to be successfulhelps you to be successful

Hopeful students are more successful Hopeful students are more successful

Steps to Happiness Steps to Happiness

Express gratitudeExpress gratitude Cultivate optimismCultivate optimism Avoid over thinking and social Avoid over thinking and social

comparisoncomparison Practice acts of kindnessPractice acts of kindness Increase flow activitiesIncrease flow activities

Steps to HappinessSteps to Happiness

Savor life’s joysSavor life’s joys Commit to accomplishing your goalsCommit to accomplishing your goals Take care of your bodyTake care of your body

Secrets to HappinessSecrets to HappinessMartin SeligmanMartin Seligman Identifying, cultivating, and using your Identifying, cultivating, and using your

personal strengths in work, love, play, personal strengths in work, love, play, and parentingand parenting

Happiness = S + C + V Happiness = S + C + V

SS is your set range (50% of happiness is your set range (50% of happiness is determined by heredity)is determined by heredity)

CC is your circumstance (8-15 % of is your circumstance (8-15 % of happiness)happiness)

VV is what is under your voluntary is what is under your voluntary control (40%) control (40%)

What are some examples of What are some examples of factors under your voluntary factors under your voluntary control? control?

Seven Habits of Highly Seven Habits of Highly Successful PeopleSuccessful People Steven CoveySteven Covey

Be ProactiveBe Proactive

Accept responsibility for your lifeAccept responsibility for your life

Begin with the end in mindBegin with the end in mind

Know what is importantKnow what is important What do you want to accomplish in your What do you want to accomplish in your

life?life?

Put first things firstPut first things first

Set prioritiesSet priorities

Think win-winThink win-win Seek solutions that benefit everyoneSeek solutions that benefit everyone Focus on cooperation rather than Focus on cooperation rather than

competitioncompetition

First seek to understand. First seek to understand. Then be understood.Then be understood. Listening is the first step in effective Listening is the first step in effective

communicationcommunication

SynergizeSynergize The whole is greater than the sum of its The whole is greater than the sum of its

partsparts Working together as a team, you can Working together as a team, you can

accomplish more than each member accomplish more than each member can accomplish separatelycan accomplish separately

Sharpen the sawSharpen the saw

Invest time in yourself to stay healthy: Invest time in yourself to stay healthy: PhysicallyPhysically MentallyMentally SpirituallySpiritually SociallySocially

Find your voice and inspire Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs others to find theirs Believe that you can make a difference Believe that you can make a difference

in the world and inspire others to do the in the world and inspire others to do the samesame

From From The 8The 8thth Habit, From Effectiveness Habit, From Effectiveness to Greatnessto Greatness by Steven Covey by Steven Covey

More Secrets to HappinessMore Secrets to Happiness

Secrets to HappinessSecrets to Happiness

Happiness can’t be boughtHappiness can’t be bought Happiness is more internal than Happiness is more internal than

externalexternal Happiness is not determined by age, Happiness is not determined by age,

race, gender or incomerace, gender or income Happiness won’t arrive in the Happiness won’t arrive in the

Publisher’s Clearinghouse envelopePublisher’s Clearinghouse envelope

Secrets to HappinessSecrets to Happiness

Happiness depends less on things than Happiness depends less on things than on our attitude toward the things we on our attitude toward the things we havehave

Happiness is a ‘hookable” habitHappiness is a ‘hookable” habit

Make a decision to choose Make a decision to choose happinesshappiness

Find small things that make Find small things that make you happy and sprinkle your you happy and sprinkle your life with them.life with them.

Laugh more. Laughter Laugh more. Laughter produces a relaxation produces a relaxation response.response.

A good joke beats a pill for a A good joke beats a pill for a lot of ailments.lot of ailments.

Learn to think like an optimist. Learn to think like an optimist. Assume you will succeed.Assume you will succeed.

Replace negative thoughts Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.with positive ones.

Do things that use your skills.Do things that use your skills.

Fill your life with things you Fill your life with things you like to do. Remember the 20 like to do. Remember the 20 things you like to do?things you like to do?

Get enough rest. Get enough rest.

Exercise to feel good and to Exercise to feel good and to cope with anxiety.cope with anxiety.

There are no substitutes for There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and fresh air, sunshine and exercise.exercise.

Reduce stress.Reduce stress.

Close relationships are Close relationships are important.important.

If you don’t do anythingIf you don’t do anythingelse in life, love someoneelse in life, love someoneand let someone love you.and let someone love you.

Keep things in perspective. Keep things in perspective. Will it matter 10 years from Will it matter 10 years from now?now?

Exercise:Exercise:Happiness Is . . . .Happiness Is . . . .Share Your IdeasShare Your Ideas

Keys to Success:Keys to Success:You Are What You ThinkYou Are What You Think

What we believe is true, What we believe is true, comes true.comes true.What we believe is possible, What we believe is possible, becomes possible.becomes possible. -- --Henry FordHenry Ford

Watch your thoughts;Watch your thoughts;they become words.they become words.

Watch your words; Watch your words; they become actions.they become actions.

Watch your actions; Watch your actions; they become habits.they become habits.

Watch your habits; Watch your habits; they become character.they become character.

Watch your character;Watch your character;it becomes your destiny.it becomes your destiny.

Frank Outlaw Frank Outlaw

Grand Essentials of LifeGrand Essentials of Life


Something to do (that you like)Something to do (that you like)


Something to do (that you like)Something to do (that you like) Someone to loveSomeone to love

Grand Essentials of LifeGrand Essentials of Life Something to do (that you like)Something to do (that you like) Someone to loveSomeone to love Something to hope forSomething to hope for

Use theUse thetools in tools in this book this book to createto createyour success.your success.

This is not the end of the This is not the end of the course but a new beginning.course but a new beginning.

Review the Keys to Success Review the Keys to Success in this book. What is your in this book. What is your favorite one and why?favorite one and why?

Measure Your Success Measure Your Success

Complete the exercise.Complete the exercise. Pick up the one you did the first day of Pick up the one you did the first day of

class.class. Compare your results. Is your score Compare your results. Is your score

higher?higher? Staple the two exercises together and Staple the two exercises together and

hand them in.hand them in.

Place these in the envelope:Place these in the envelope:Visualize Your SuccessVisualize Your SuccessHappiness Is . . . .Happiness Is . . . .Intentions for the FutureIntentions for the FuturePut your name and address on it.Put your name and address on it.

Turn In:Turn In:LetterLetterCourse EvaluationCourse Evaluation

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