Looking Out/Looking In Thirteenth Edition 5 LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE CHAPTER TOPICS Language is...

Looking Out/Looking InLooking Out/Looking InThirteenth EditionThirteenth Edition

55LANGUAGE:LANGUAGE:BARRIER AND BRIDGEBARRIER AND BRIDGE

CHAPTER TOPICSCHAPTER TOPICS

• Language is Symbolic• Understandings and Misunderstandings• The Impact of Language• Gender and Language• Culture and Language

22LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGELANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE

Language is SymbolicLanguage is Symbolic

• The Natural World• Smoke means something is burning• A fever means someone is ill

• Language is Symbolic• Connection between words and the ideas or

things they represent is arbitrary


Understanding and Understanding and MisunderstandingMisunderstanding

• Understanding Words• Semantic rules

• “Bikes” are for riding and “books” are for reading

• Equivocation• Statements that have more then one commonly

accepted definition• Newspaper Headlines:

• “Family catches fire just in time.”• “20-year friendship ends at the altar.”• “Trees can break wind.”


Understanding and Understanding and MisunderstandingMisunderstanding

• Relative Language• Words that gain their meaning by comparison

• Do you attend a large or small school?• Fast and slow• Smart and stupid• Short and long

• Static Evaluation• Statements that contain or imply the word is

lead to mistaken assumptions about people


Understandings and Understandings and MisunderstandingsMisunderstandings

• Abstraction• Is vague in nature• Behavior language is specific

to things people do or say

• Abstraction Ladder• Abstract language can lead

to miscommunication

Figure 5.1 Page 165



• Syntactic Rules• Govern the grammar of language

• Pragmatic Rules• Govern the way speech works in everyday

interaction• Consider the difference between:

• I love you• I love ya• I luv U



• Pragmatic Rules• What do infer by the following sentences?

• “Would you like a drink?”• “Would you like something to drink?”

• Pragmatic Rules of Email• When reading an email what do you think when

you come across CAPITAL LETTERS!


The Impact of LanguageThe Impact of Language

• Naming and Identity• Names are more than just a simple means of

identification• They shape the way others think of us• They shape the way we view ourselves• 1900’s most popular names

• Bertha, Mildred and Ethel

• 2008’s most popular names• Madison, Ava and Chloe



• Affiliation• Speech can build and demonstrate solidarity

with others• Convergence

• The process of adapting one’s speech style to match others

• Divergence• Speaking in a way that emphasizes one’s

differences from others



• Power• Power difference between two statements:

• “Excuse me, sir. I hate to say this, but I . . .I . . .I guess I won’t be able to turn in the assignment on time. I had a personal emergency, and . . .well . . .it was just impossible to finish it by today. I’ll have it on your desk Monday, OK?”

• “I won’t be able to turn in the assignment on time. I had a personal emergency, and it was impossible to finish by today. I’ll have it on your desk Monday.”



• Powerless Language • Hedges:

• “I’m kinda disappointed . . .” “I think we should . . .” “I guess I’d like to . . .”

• Hesitations: • “Uh, can I have a minute of your time?”• “Well, we could try this idea . . .”• “I wish you would—er—try to be on time.”

• Tag questions: • “It’s about time we got started, isn’t it?”• “Don’t you think we should give it another try?”



• Disruptive Language

• Three linguistic habits to avoid

• Fact-Opinion ConfusionFact OpinionYou forgot my birthday. You don’t care

about me.

You keep interrupting me. You’re a control freak.

You tell a lot of ethnic jokes. You’re a bigot.



• Disruptive Language• Fact-interference confusion

• A: Why are you mad at me?• B: I’m not mad at you. Why have you been so

insecure lately?• A: I’m not insecure. It’s just that you've been so

critical.• B: What do you mean, “critical?” I haven’t been

critical. . . .



• Disruptive Language

• Emotive Language• Seems to describe something but actually announces

the speakers attitude toward it

If you approve, say If you disapprove, sayThrifty Cheap

Traditional Old-fashioned

Extrovert Loudmouth

Cautious Cowardly



• Language of Responsibility

• “It” Statements• Note the difference in each set of sentences:

• “It bothers me when you’re late.”• “I’m worried when you’re late.”• “It’s nice to see you.”• “I’m glad to see you.”• “It’s a boring class.”• “I’m bored in the class.”




• “But” Statements• In each sentence the word but cancels the

thought that precedes it:• “You’re really a great person, but I think we should

see other people.”• “You’ve done good work for us, but we’re going to

have to let you go.”• “This paper has some good ideas, but I’m giving

you a D grade because it’s late.”




• Questions• Some questions are used to avoid making a

declaration• “What are we having for dinner?” Could mean, “I

want to eat out.”• “How many textbooks are assigned in that class?”

Could mean, “I’m afraid to get into a class with too much reading.”




• “I” and “You” Language• “I” statements accept responsibility for a

message • “You” statements express judgment

• “You left this place a mess!”• “You didn’t keep your promise!”• “You’re really crude sometimes!”




• “I” and “You” Language• An “I” statement has four elements:

• The person’s behavior• Your interpretations• Your feelings• The consequences that the other person’s

behavior has for you




• “I” and “You” Language

• Example:• “I get embarrassed (feeling) when you talk

about my bad grades in front of our friends (behavior). I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid (interpretation). That’s why I got so worked up last night (consequence).”




• Reservations about “I” language• “I get too angry to use ‘I’ language”• “Even with ‘I’ language, the other person gets

defensive”• “ ‘I’ language sounds artificial”




• “We” Language• Implies the issue is the concern of both

parties• “We need to figure out a budget that doesn’t

bankrupt us.”• “I think we have a problem. We can’t seem to talk

about money without fighting.”


Gender and LanguageGender and Language

• Content• Female friends spent more time discussing:

• Relationship problems, family, health

• Male friends spent more time discussing:• Current events, music, sports, business

• Consider the gender’s impact on language:• “I want to talk about important things, like how

we’re getting along. All he wants to do talk about the news or what we’ll do this weekend.”



• Conversation Style• The myth that women are more talkative than

men does not hold up under scientific scrutiny• Men’s speech is characteristically:

• More direct, succinct, and task-oriented

• Women’s speech is more typically: • indirect, elaborate, and focused on relationships



• Nongender Variables• The link between gender and language isn’t

as clear-cut as it might seem• The language between sexes is more similar

than it is different.• One scholar suggested that the popular book,

“Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” should be changed to “Men Are from North Dakota, Women Are from South Dakota.”


Culture and LanguageCulture and Language

• Verbal Communication Styles• Low-context cultures

• Generally value language to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas as directly as possible.

• High-context cultures• Generally value using language to maintain social

harmony. • Learn to discover meaning from the context in

which a message is delivered: nonverbal behaviors, history of the relationship, etc


Culture and LanguageCulture and Language

• Verbal Communication Styles• Language and Worldview

• Linguistic relativism• The worldview of a culture is shaped and reflected by the

language its members speak.• The Eskimos have a large number of words for snow


Chapter ReviewChapter Review

• Language is Symbolic

• Understandings and Misunderstandings

• The Impact of Language

• Gender and Language

• Culture and Language

Looking Out/Looking In Thirteenth Edition 5 LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE CHAPTER TOPICS Language is...

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