ReinhardBonnke:LivingaLifeofFire–anautobiography

EnglishCopyright©E-RProductionsLLC2010

ISBN978-1-933106-81-6

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,oranyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,without

permissioninwritingfromthepublisher.

Editor:SiegfriedTomazsewskiCoverDesign:BrandNavigation,U.S.A.

Typeset&Layout:RolandSenkelPhotoPages:SimonWentlandPhotographs:OleksandrVolyk

PetervandenBergRolandSenkelRobBirkbeck

Karl-HeinzSchablowskiT.ThomasHenschke

FlowerPentecostalHeritageCenter

E-RProductionsLLCP.O.Box593647

Orlando,Florida32859U.S.A.

www.e-r-productions.com

TableofContentsDedicationPart1Adivineappointment

Chapter1Chapter2Chapter3Chapter4

Part2OutofGermany

Chapter5Chapter6Chapter7Chapter8Chapter9Chapter10

Part3SchooloftheSpirit

Chapter11Chapter12Chapter13Chapter14Chapter15Chapter16

Part4Preparationyears

Chapter17Chapter18Chapter19Chapter20Chapter21Chapter22

Part5Theworld’slargesttent

Chapter23Chapter24Chapter25Chapter26Chapter27

Part6Thecombineharvester

Chapter28Chapter29Chapter30Chapter31Chapter32Chapter33Chapter34

Part7Thesupernaturalharvest

Chapter35Chapter36Chapter37Chapter38Chapter39

Part8Newhorizons

Chapter40

EndnotesPhotosChristforallNationsboardmembersAdditionalResourceMaterial

Dedication

ForHermannandMetaBonnke,

trueparentsinlife,andintheLord.

AndforLuis(Ludwig)Graf,

whoobedientlycarriedthegospelwiththelivingfire

oftheHolySpirittoEastPrussia,

andsetthepatternformetofollow.

Part1

ADIVINEAPPOINTMENT

WhichthreadshouldIchoose,Lord?Therearesomany.Theyhangbeforemyeyeslikestrandsofsilkinadoorway.

Eachpromisingthatitwillweavethefinesttapestryofmylife.Butitisnotmytapestry.Itisnotmylife.SoagainIask,whichthreaddoIchoose?

Whichstrandwillpassthroughtheveryeyeoftheneedle?

Chapter1

Isitquietlywithanexplosionbuildinginsideofme.Ileanforwardtotheedgeofmyseat.MyhandsexplorethecoverofmypreachingBibleasmyfoottapsanervousdanceontheplatform.Everymoleculeofmybodyanticipateswhatisabouttohappen.Ithinkyouwouldfeelthesameifyouwereinmyshoes.ItisatropicalnightinNorthernNigeria.WeareintheheartofAfrica.Theairiswarmandmoistandfullofsound.Alocalgospelgroupperformsamelodyofpraiseaccompaniedbyasnakeskindrum.Achorusofbirds,frogsandinsectsjoinsthemfromthesurroundingtrees.Thevastcrowdstandinginfrontofmeradiatesheatandexpectancy.Nearly700,000tribesmenhavewalkedformanymilestothissite.ManyofthemareMuslims.Theirupturnedfacesdrawmelikeamothtoaflame.2,400,000willattendinfivenightsofpreaching.Morethan1.4millionwillacceptJesusasSaviorattheinvitations.Follow-upteamswilldiscipleeachone.Anticipationmakesmyheartrace.Whataboutyours?Asyoubegintoreadmystory,Iwonder,areyoulikeme?DoestheprospectofseeingtheGreatCommissionofChristfulfilleddriveyoudayandnight?Ifnot,thenIpraythatthestoryofmylifewilllightafireinyou.Afirethatwillchangeeverything.AholyfirethatwillconvinceyouthatnothingisimpossiblewithGod.Iseethatsomeinthecrowdtonightarecrippled.Someliesickonpallets.Othersleanoncrutches.Notallwillbehealed,butsomeofthesecrippledwillwalk.Imusttellyou,whentheywalk,Iwilldancewiththemacrossthisplatform!Wouldn’tyou?Someareblind,andsomeofthoseblindwillsee.Icannotexplainwhy,butinMuslimareasIseemoreblindeyesopen.Iwisheveryonecouldbewithmetoseeit.Chronicpainsleavebodies,cancerousgrowthsdisappear.Thesearebutafewofthesignsthatfollowthepreachingofthegoodnews.Ifeelalowvibration.Itisalmostaudible.Generatorsarepurringinsidetheirinsulatedcontainersnearby,feedingkilowattsofelectricitytoourthirstysoundtowersandstagelights.Wehaveimportedourownpowergridtothisremoteregion.WearefarbeyondthereachofMarriott,Hyatt,HiltonorevenMotel6.Ourteamhasinstalledasmallvillageoftrailerhousestoshelterusforthe

duration.Cellphonesareworthless.Satelliteskeepusconnected.Fewhaveevenheardofthisplace.Yetmorethanahalf-millionareheretonight!Mythroatconstrictsattherealizationofit.Hottearsseekthecornersofmyeyes.ThisisjoybeyondanyIhaveknown.Ismileandtiltmyheadup,lookingintoaskyofancientconstellations.IfeeltheCreatoroftheUniversesmilingdownonthiscorneroftheworldtonight.Ibreathedeeply.Thesmokeofcookingfirespaintsthebreezeandbringsmebacktoearth.Iamathousandmilesfromanywherenormal,andthisiswhereIfeelmostathome.Wehavefoundanotherforgottenstatewherefewhaveheardthewayofsalvation.IamReinhardBonnke,anevangelist.Welcometomydestiny.Tonight,eventswillunfoldlikeawell-rehearseddream.Iwillbeintroduced.MyeyeswillsweepthecrowdknowingthatwehaveallcomeforthesameJesus.MyheartwillopentotheHolySpiritandinmymindanimagewillappear.Icallit“theshapeofthegospel.”ItisanoutlinethatIwillfillwithanexplosionofwordsthatpourfrommyheartwithoutrehearsal.Imustnowmakeaconfession.Thishasbecomeanaddictionforme.ButitisanaddictionI’dgladlysharewithyou.Leadingsinnerstosalvationenmasse–oronebyone–itisallthesame.Ieatit,Isleepit,Idreamit,Ispeakit,Iwriteit,Iprayit,Iweepit,Ilaughit.Itismywishtodiepreachingthisgospel.IamlikeamanstarvinguntilIcanstandagainwithamicrophoneinmyhand,lookingacrossaseaoffaces,shoutingthewordsofHisloveintothedarkness.Itishugenow.Theresultsarehuge.Iamonmywaytoseeing100millionrespondtothegospel.Morethan52millionhaveregistereddecisionssincetheyear2000.Withoutthedecadesofexperiencethatbroughtmyteamtothisharvest,wewouldbeoverwhelmedbythesenumbers.Butwearenotslowingdown,weareerectingmoreplatformslikethisoneinplacesyou’veneverheardof.AfterreadingmystoryIhopeandpraythatyouwilljoinmeoneachofthosefutureplatforms,sharingmyexcitement.Ifyouareunabletobethereinperson,thenIhopeyouwillbethereinprayer,infaith,inspirit.Intruth,Ihavedonenothingalone.Godhascalledmeandhasbeenmypilot.TheHolySpirithasbeenmycomforter,myguide,andmypowersource.Asyouwillreadinthesepages,Hebroughttometheperfectwife.Hegaveusour

beautifulchildrenandextendedfamily.AndHehasprovidedateamthathasgrownwithmethroughdecadesofworkingtogether.Beyondthat,Hehasbroughtthousandstostandwithus.Theyhavesupportedusinprayerandinpartnership.OurrewardsinHeavenwillbeequal.Oh!Excuseme.Ihavetogonow.Ihavebeenintroducedandthereisamicrophoneinmyhand.Istandtomyfeetandleapforward,readytopreachwiththefirethatIalwaysfeelinmybones.ButjustbeforeIopenmymouthIfeelaholyhushdescendoverme.Itwashesoverthecrowdaswell,andIdroptomykneesinhumilityandreverence,raisingmyfacetothesky.ForintheairabovemeIsenseaninvisiblecrowdthatdwarfsthealmost700,000Nigeriansstrainingtohearmynextword.IamspeakingofHeaven’scloudofwitnesses,anumberlessthronguponwhoseshouldersIamcarried.Andfromthatheavenlycrowdstepsaman,aGermanevangelistwhohasgonebeforeme.Iknowhimbyreputation.HeisinmanywaysliketheseNigerians,overlooked,exceptbyHeaven.Hislifewassowninweaknessandsomesayindefeat.Yettonight,everysoulbornintotheKingdomwillalsobefruitofhisministry.TheverywordsthatIspeakfirstpouredfromhisheart.NowIcanbegin.

Chapter2

AsIbeginthestoryofGod’sworkinmylife,Iamfloodedwithwonderfulpossibilities.Toomanytoignore.So,Inarrowmysearch.Ithinkspecificallyoforigins.NotofHiscallingandHismanydirectionstomealongtheway.NoroftheroadthatledtoAfricaandaharvestofsoulsbeyondmywildestdreams.No,IfirstlookbacktoOstpreussen,toatimeandplacethatisnomore.AsIlookthereIfeelamysteriousweightinaplacenearmyheart.Whatisthisweight?Iask.AndthenIknow.IknowthatIknow.ItisthedebtIowetoamanwhodiedyearsbeforeIwasborn.HoweasilyImightforgethim.Heisunknown.Hislifeandministryuncelebrated.IfIremainsilentnoonewillthinkofhisnameinconnectiontomine.ButIwouldknow.AndImustnotfailtotellhisstory.EachtimeIstepontoaplatformandlookacrossaseaoffaceseagertohearthegospel,Ifeelhisgazeuponmefromheaven’scloudofwitnesses.IcouldnotstandablazewiththeHolySpirittodayifthisforgottenbrotherhadnotcarriedtheflametotheBonnkefamilysolongago.IexaminetheweightthatIfeel,andIthinkitmustbelikethedebtagreatoaktreeowestotheacornfromwhichitsprang.OrthedebtofagiantsprucetotheseedthatflutteredtothegroundanddiedthatitmightonedaystandtallasawatchtowerabovetheGermanforest.Yes,thisisthedebtthatIfeel.ItistheweightofadebtIowetoamannamedLuisGraf.

Oneday,whenIwasstillaveryyoungman,IstudiedachartofourGermanfamilytree.ItwasthenIdiscoveredthegeneralungodlinessofourclan.Ibecameamazedthatmygrandfatherandmyfatherstoodoutasmenoffaithinaspirituallybarrenlandscape.Iturnedtomyfather,whowasaPentecostalpreacher,andasked,“HowdidGodbreakintotheBonnkefamily?”Myfather’sanswerhasmarkedmylifeandministrytothisday.HetoldmethestoryofLuisGrafcomingtoourvillagein1922,18yearsbeforeIwasborn.

LuiswasaGerman-borngunsmithwhohadimmigratedtoAmericaasayoungman.There,hehadamassedapersonalfortunethroughhardworkandself-discipline.Followingretirement,hereturnedtohishomelandinthepoweroftheHolySpirit,afterexperiencingalife-changingbaptismwithspeakingintongues.ThelongerIlivethemoreIseethedivineconnectionsbetweenmyselfandLuis,thoughInevermettheman.So,asIpreparetorepeatmyfather’sstory,willyoupleaseindulgemeasIgobeyondhiswords?IwillsharedetailsthatIhaveonlyrecentlylearnedaboutthisservantofGod.ThestoryofLuisGrafismorethanapersonalnarrative.ItispartofthehistoryofanentiremovementofwhichIamasecond-generationpreacher.ThemovementofwhichIspeakisthePentecostalMovementthatbeganontheDayofPentecost,blazedanewattheAzusaStreetMissioninLosAngelesin1906,andthenexplodedacrosstheentireworld.TodayitisthegreatestmodernforceinChristendom,withmorethan600,000,000adherentsinourtime.TounderstandthestoryofLuisGraf,forme,istounderstandthisgreatmovementmoreperfectly,andtoseemyplacewithinit.ForthesereasonsIhavedonemorethanresearch.Ihaveletmyselfenteratimemachine.IhavegonetoabygoneerawhereIhaveenteredtheskinofanotherevangelist,probinghisfeelingsandthoughtsduringatimeandaplacethatarenotmyown.AndIhavebeenrewarded.Ihavecomeawaybelievingthatsurelyhisstorypassesthroughtheveryeyeoftheneedle.ItisthefirstthreadinthetapestryofGod’sworkinmylife.

Chapter3

Anarmyofcloudsmarchedacrossthesky,dressedinshadesofdismalgray.Itwasearlyspringin1922,andthegripofalongwinterwasnotreadytoreleasetheEastPrussianlandscape.AfinenewMercedestouringcareasedalongacarriagetrackthroughtheforest.Itsengineputteredlikethecadenceofamilitarydrummer.Mudsplattereditssilver-whitefinishasitpassedbeneaththetrees.Thecarenteredalargeclearing.Acrossafieldofdeeplyfurrowedearthafarmerturnedtostare.Heleanedonhishoebeneathacapofthicknaturalwool,hiscollarturnedagainstthewind.Theexpressiononhisfacewasgrimandhostile.InthisGermanenclaveontheBalticSeaanautomobilewasararesightafterWorldWarI.Russianarmieshaddestroyedroads,factories,andcitiesbeforebeingdrivenbackbythePrussianArmy.TheGreatWaranditssubsequentinflationhaddepletednotonlythebankaccountsoftheGermanpeople;ithadguttedtheirverysouls.Morethan3,000,000ofGermany’sbesthadperishedinfouryearsoffighting.Thewoundsofwarwerefreshandbleeding.TheMercedesdriverbeneathhisjauntyaviator’scapandgogglesknewthisfullwell.HewasaGerman-bornAmericanrecentlyreturnedtohishomelandaftertheGreatWar.Heunderstoodthatthispoorfarmerhadnothingincommonwithsomeonewhocouldaffordtoridethecountrysideinafancytouringcar.Still,thedriver’sheartremainedtendertowardtheGermanpeopleashedrovefromoneendofthiswar-tornlandtotheother.Hegaveafriendlywavetothisfarmer,hopingtoatleastspreadsomegoodwill.Sadly,themanturnedbacktohishoeingasifhe’dreceivedaninsult.Thedriverturnedhisattentionbacktotheroad.Itdisappearedoveraridgeaheadofhimatthefarendoftheclearing.Atthatvanishingpoint,hesawgreatarmsofsailclothturningagainstthehorizon.Ashiscartoppedtheridge,hecouldseethattheflailingarmsbelongedtoalargewindmillworkingtoextractpowerfromthesky.Atthebaseofthewindmillsataflourmill.Besidetheflourmill,alargestuccobakerywithwhitesmokerisingfrombrickovenstacks.

Thedriversalivated.Hehadakilometertocoveryet,buthecouldalreadytastethetortes,strudels,andhausbrottakenwarmfromtheovens.Hemightevenstoptostockuponsaltedpretzelsfortheroad.These,herecalledfromchildhood,werealwaysfoldedcarefullyinatriadrepresentingtheFather,theSon,andtheHolyGhost.Hechuckledtohimself.I’mnotinAmericaanymore.I’minthelandwherereligionhastwistedScriptureintoapretzel.Ashecamecloserhecouldseeasmallvillageofadozenorsohouses.Theylinedbothsidesoftheroadonthefarsideofthebakerywheretheforestborderedtheclearing.Hefiguredthissmallvillagewouldprovideawelcomestopforacoldtravelerwhohadlosthisway.Heimaginedawarmfire.Perhapshewouldpayforabedforthenight.Thedaywasfarspent.Heslowedthecarandstoppednearthebakerydoor,pullingthehandbrakeandcuttingtheengine.Immediatelythearomaoffreshbreadblessedhissenses.Heremovedhisdrivingglovesandopenedthecardoor.Steppingout,hepulledoffhisgogglesandleathercap.Hestoodforawhilebrushingflecksofmudfromhischeeksandchin.Globsofmirefelltothegroundfromthecar’swoodenspokesandpneumaticrubbertires.ThestylizedeleganceoftheMercedes’fenderssweptawayfromthemainbodyofthevehiclelikethewingsofaswaninflight.ButthisswanhadbeengroundedbytheprimitiveroadsofEastPrussia.Anumberofvillagerssteppedcuriouslyfromtheirhousestopeekatthenewarrivalandhisfancyautomobile.Thedriverworeafleece-linedleathercoatwithleatherpantsandboots.Hewascleanlyshaven,adistinguished-lookinggentlemanwithwispygrayhaircontainingstubbornstreaksofbrown.Amanperhapsinhisfiftiesorsixties.Meanwhile,aperfectlybaldmanwithafullhandlebarmustacheemergedfromthebakerywipinghishandsonhisapron.Hewatchedthedriver,whohadnowremovedhisneckscarfandwasusingittowipemudfromthedoorpanel.Asheworkedatit,ahand-paintedsignonthemetalsurfacecouldbeseenemergingfrombeneaththemess.Itread:Jesusiscomingsoon.Areyouready?Thedriverturned,noticingthebakerforthefirsttime.

“Agooddaytoyou,sir,”hesaid,extendinghishandwithanenergeticsmile.“IamLuisGraf,aservantofGod.”ThebakerslowlywipedhishandsonhisapronbeforetakingLuis’hand.Hespokeinacautioustone.“IamGerhard,andweareallLutheranshere.”“Lutheranswilldo.LutheransneedJesus.IwasbaptizedLutheranmyself,butIhavesincemettheLordandreceivedthesecondPentecost.HaveyoureceivedthesecondPentecost?”Themanshookhishead.Hehadnoreasontoknowofsuchathing.“Well,Imusttellyouaboutthat,becausethereisnothingmoreimportanttothetimesinwhichwelive,myfriend.Butfirst…IwasonmywaytoKönigsberg,anditappearsIhavelostmyway.CanyoutellmewhatvillageIhavefound?”“ThisisTrunz.”“Trunz.I’mnotsureI’veheardofit.”Hechuckledgood-naturedly.“I’mmorelostthanIknew.Butthat’snotaproblem.IamsuretheLordhasledmeheretopreachthegospel.Hallelujah!”“ItoldyouweareLutherans,”themanrepliedcoldly.Inthemeantime,ayoungmanonabicyclehadriddenupandwasnowinspectingtheMercedeswithaweandcuriosity.Luisfeltatremblingexcitementinhischest.HeoftenfeltthisvibrationwhentheHolySpiritspoketohisheart.Astillsmallvoicetoldhimthatbondageswouldsoonbebrokeninthisplace.Henoddedtothebaker.“Icanseethatmypreachingherewillhavetowaituntilyouhavebeenmadereadytohearit.Thesearethelastdays,Gerhard.WoeismeifIdonotpreachthegospelofJesusChrist.Tellme,isanyonesickinthisvillage?”“Sick?Areyouadoctor,too?”“No,Iamapreacher.ButIrepresenttheGreatPhysician.Letmeaskyou

something,Gerhard.IfIprayforsomeonewhoissickandyouseethemhealed,willyoubelievethatIhavebeensentheretopreachthegospel?Willyoulistentome?”Slowly,thebakerbegantosmileandnod.“Yes.Yes,Iwouldlisten.”ThebakerknewsomethingthatLuiscouldnothaveknown.EveryoneinTrunzknewtherewassomeonehorriblysickthere.AndGerhardwassmilingbecausethisnaïveAmericanwasabouttoleavethevillageinutterdefeat.Hewouldneverhavetoendurelisteningtohisgospelsermon.“Infactthereissomeonesickhere,”hesaid.“Someoneverysick.Listen.”Hepointedtowardthevillageandthencuppedhishandsbehindhisears.Luisdidthesame.Atfirsthecouldhearnothingbutthesighingofthewinddrivingthearmsofthewindmillabovehim.Then,afterafewmomentsheheardit.“AaaaaaAAAAAAAArrgh!!”Hefeltthehairriseatthebackofhisneck.Thesoundcamefromthefarendofthevillage.Itwassomethinghemighthaveimaginedonamoonlessnightinthedarkestwood.Perhapsasoundofdemonicorigin.Hisfirstinstinctwastoleapintohiscarandacceleratetowardanothervillage.Butheheldhisground,rebukingtheimpulseofspiritualcowardice.Thecrycouldbenothingifnotthevoiceofaman.Asickman.Sufferingasamanwouldsufferonatorturer’sbench.“Whoisthat?”“HisnameisAugustBonnke,”Gerhardrepliedquietly.“HeistheMüllermeisterhere.HeownsthismillandbakeryandistheleadingmaninTrunz.Agreatmanwhohasbeenstruckdownbyaterribledisease.Goutorrheumatismorsomesuchthing.Nooneknowswhatittrulyis.Hehassufferedforyears,andthedoctorscandonothing.Hecriesoutinpainnightandday.”“AaaaaaAAAAAAAArrgh!”Theterriblecrysoundedagain,butthistimeLuishearditthroughearsof

compassion.Theelementsofpain,desperation,andragecomingfromthemaninthehouseatthefarendofthevillageweresoundstranslatedinhisheartbytheHolySpirit.HerewasasoultrappedbySatan.AsoulChristhaddiedtosetfree.HerewasadesperatecrytoGodfordeliverance.ThekindofcrythatwouldnotbeheldbackbyprideorstoicismorGermanwillpower.ThiswasthekindofcryGodneverrefused.LuisimmediatelyunderstoodthatGodhadarrangedforhimtobecomelostonhiswaytoKönigsbergforthisdivineappointmentinTrunz.“IwouldlikeverymuchtoprayforHerrBonnke,”Luissaid.“Doyouthinkhewouldallowmetoprayforhim?”Thebakershrugged.Heturnedandcalledtotheyoungmanwhowasstillenthralledwiththeautomobile.“Hermann,comehere.”Theyoungmanpickeduphisbicycleandwalkedittowherebothmenstood.“Yes,Gerhard.”“Hermann,tellyourfatherthatapreacherisheretoprayforhim.”Hermannlookedinpuzzlementfromonemantotheother,obviouslysurprised,notunderstandingwhatwasgoingon.ThebakerturnedagaintoLuis.“Whatkindofpreachershouldwesaythatyouare,ReverendGraf?ALutheran?ACatholic?Evangelical?”Luisthoughtforamoment.“HaveyouheardofAzusaStreet?TherevivalinAmerica?InLosAngeles?”Gerhardandtheyoungmanshooktheirheads.Theyhadneverheardofit.“Itdoesnotmatter.TellHerrBonnkethatIamamanfilledwiththeHolyGhost.WhenIprayforhimitwillnotbelikewhenapriestpraysforhim.IwillprayinthepoweroftheHolySpirit,andhisbodywillbehealed.Tellhimthat.”ThebakerturnedtoyoungHermannandnoddedthatheshouldgoandtellhisfatherthesethings.Theyoungmanjumpedonhisbicycleandbegantoridequicklytowardthehouseatthefarendofthevillage.ThatyoungmanonthebicyclewasHermannBonnke,myfather,just17yearsof

ageatthetime.Thesickman,AugustBonnke,wasmygrandfather.TheBonnkeclanlivedinanisolatedareaofGermanycalledOstpreussen,orEastPrussia.OurenclavehadbeencreatedbyinternationaltreatyattheendofWorldWarI.IthadbeenartificiallycutofffromtherestofGermany,anditfacedtheBalticStatesandtheRussianEmpiretotheeast.Alongourwesternbordersomethingcalleda“PolishCorridor”extendedfrommodernPolandtotheportcityofDanzigontheBalticSea.Today,Ostpreussennolongerexists.FollowingWorldWarII,allGermanswereethnicallycleansedfromthisregion.Inthisisolated,cold,damp,andforestedlandinthespringof1922,however,theflamingtorchoftheHolySpiritwouldsoonbepassed.LuisGrafcarriedthatfire,thefireofPentecostthatwouldeventuallyconsumemylife.

Chapter4

LuisGrafenteredAugustBonnke’shouseholdlikeablazinglanterninadismalcavern.CobwebsofreligiousdoubtandstagnationweresweptasideashemovedtowardthebedwheretheMüllermeister,“thebestmaninTrunz,”laywrithinginagony.Heproclaimedlibertytothedowntrodden,healingtothesick,andsalvationtothepoorneedysinner–Lutheranorotherwise.HeannouncedthattheHolySpirithadbeensentforademonstrationofthepowerofGodthatcouldmakeallthingsnew.Divinehealingsweresignsandwonderstoconfirmthepreachingofthegospel.HetookthesickmanbythehandandcommandedthatheriseandbemadewholeinthenameofJesus.Augustfeltajoltofheaven’spowersurgethroughhisbody.Heleaptfromhissickbedandstoodtremblinglikeacriminalaroundwhomthewallsofaprisonhadjustfallen.Helookedathisarmsandlegsasifironchainshadjustbeenstruckfromthem.Hefelthisonceswollenandinflamedjoints,andtheywererenewedtoasuppleandyouthfulstate.Hiswife,Marie,whohadbeenathisbedsideforyears,begantoweep.Hebegantowalk,thentorun,thentoleap,thentoshout.Hegrabbedhiswifeandembracedherwithtearsrunningfreelydownhisface.Amomentagohehadbeenunabletoenduretheslightesttouchonhisskin.Now,hewasamansetfreeofpain.Hewasfreeindeed.Hecouldembracelifeagain.Andembraceithedid!Anewlifeofhealthandvigorhadbeengiventoamancondemnedbyanevilandtormentingdisease.AugustBonnkewouldneverbethesameandwouldnever,untilthedayhedied,failtotestifyofwhatGodhaddoneforhimthatdayinTrunz.In1922,LuisGrafdidnotseethegreatharvesthehadhopedtoseeafterthedramatichealingofAugustBonnke.Spiritually,Germanywashardandbittersoil.JusttwoacceptedChristasSaviorthatday;Augustandhisgratefulwife,Marie.Luisledtheminthesinner’sprayer.Thenhelaidhishandsonthem,andtheyreceivedthegiftoftheHolyGhostwithspeakingintongues.ThetorchofPentecosthadbeenpassed.

Twoyearslater,LuiswasinvitedtoreturnformeetingsatthelocalPentecostalfellowshipinnearbyKönigsberg.MygrandparentstraveledfaithfullyfromTrunztothosemeetings,whichcontinuedforfourmonths.Attendanceoutgrewthechurchbuilding.Acityhallwashired,seating800.Soonthatwasabandonedinfavorofastableatthefairgroundsholding2,000.Inall,4,000peopleweresavedintheKönigsbergmeetings.Thiswasanunusuallylargeharvestinthosedays.HermannDittert,alifelongfriendofourfamilyandonewhoattendedthosemeetingswithmygrandparents,laterwrote,“LuisGrafwasanevangelisticlawnmower.”Ifoundthisquoteonlyrecently,anditisfascinatingtocomparethis“lawnmower”descriptiontotheoneIbeganusingasourcrusadesinAfricabecametoolargeforanystadiumtohold.Meetingintheopenairwithstandingroomonly,webegantoseecrowdswithmorethan100,000inattendance.Withinafewyearsweregisteredconversionsinthemillionsofsouls.Icouldfeelanevangelisticparadigmshifttakingplace,andIsaid,“Wehaveenteredtheageofthecombineharvester.”Ireflectnowonthedifferencebetweenalawnmowerandacombineharvester.Itshows,Ithink,thedifferencebetweentheeraofLuisGrafandthatofReinhardBonnke.Inthe1920sthelawnmowerwasbecomingacommontool.Throughthefollowingdecades,thecombineharvesterwasdevelopedforthemassiveagriculturaloperationsweseetoday.Thesetwosymbolsalsoreflectadifferenceinfaithhorizons.Inthe1920s,thePentecostalsofGermanyweresomarginalizedfromthemainstreamofreligiouslifethattheyonlydaredtoseetheharvestfieldasalawntobemowed.TodaymyteamdarestoenvisionanentirecontinentcomingtoChrist.Agreathighwayisbuiltalongtherouteofthepioneerswhofirstblazedthetrail.ThespiritualtrailblazedbyLuisGrafinTrunzlaiddownapatternformylifeandministryagenerationlater.Evenmore,thatcongregationofPentecostalbelieversinKönigsbergprovidedtherichsoiloffellowshipthatnurturedthefaithofmygrandparents,andlater,myparents,HermannandMetaBonnke.TwoyearsaftertheKönigsbergmeetings,attheageof65,Luissensedinhisspiritthatheshouldretirefromallspeakingengagements.Thedurationofhis

evangelisticeffortwasquiteshort.Merelyfouryears.

Hermann&Metaengaged1932Thisremainsamysterytome.NorcanIrelatetoit.Iamcelebrating50yearsinactiveministryandammorepassionatetopreachthegospelthanever.Icannotimagineretirement.Butin1926,LuisGraftookthatstepandtheevangelisticlawnmowerfellsilent.

Nineyearslater,AdolfHitlerrosetopowerintheeconomicandpoliticalchaosthatwasGermany.AstheworldrushedtowardtheholocaustofWorldWarII,Luiswascalledhometoeternityattheageof74.

Part2

OUTOFGERMANY

NowIlaymedowntosleep.IpraytheLordmysoultokeep.

IfIshoulddiebeforeIwake,IpraydearLord;keepMommyandDaddy,mybrothers,andmylittlesister,Felicitas,safe.

Andme,too.Amen.

Chapter5

Peaceandsafetythensuddendestruction.Itwas1945inStablack,EastPrussia.WorldWarIIwasdrawingtoacloseandHitler’sarmieswerebeginningtocollapse.Mycomfortablechildhoodwasshatteredwiththescreamofartilleryshells,explosions,andthedroneofRussianplanes.Ihadnoideawhathadchanged.Irantothewindowandlookedout.Thenightskyflickeredandglowedwiththelightofburningbuildings.Tomyfive-year-oldmind,theyseemednomoresinisterthanembersinafireplace.Nomoredangerousthancandlesinastained-glasswindow.Searchlightsswepttheclouds,andtracerbulletsflewatthecross-wingedsilhouettesinthesky.

Bonnkefamily1941Mymother,Meta,gatheredallsixofuschildrenaroundherandbegantopray.IsnuggledtogetherwithMartin,theoldestatelevenyearsofage,withGerhard,whowasnine,andthetwins–JürgenandPeter–whoweresix.MotherheldlittleFelicitasonherlap.Shewasnotyetthreeyearsold.

Suddenlythedoorburstopen.Asoldierstoodthere.Hewasafootsoldierwhohadbeensentbyourfather,HermannBonnke,anofficerintheGermanWehrmacht.“Whyareyoustillhere,Meta?!”heshouted.“Itmaybetoolate.Hermannsaysyoumusttakethechildrenandrun!Runnow!Runforit!”Mothersatonthestoolofherbelovedharmonium,herarmsaroundus.Sheknewthatshehadwaitedtoolong.Dayafterdayshehadlongedtoseeherhusbandagain.ShedidnotwanttoleavethesecurenesttheyhadmadetogetherinthemilitarycampofStablack.ShesimplydidnotwanttoacceptthattheendwassonearforGermany.Hopingagainsthope,shehadstayedinspiteofthemenacethatgreweachday.Andnow–this!“Yes,tellHermannwewillgonow,”shesaid,noddingtothesoldier.Heturnedanddisappearedintothenight,leavingthedoorajar.“DearJesus,preserveus!”Motherwhispered.Weeksearlier,quietly,outofearshotofthechildren,HermannBonnkehadtoldhiswifethatthewarwaslost.“WorldWarIIwillgodownashorriblyasWorldWarIforGermany.TheAlliesareinvadingfromthewest.Hereintheeast,Stablackissurrounded.Wewillmakeafinalstand,butRussiahasbuiltanoverwhelmingforce,andtheywillprevail.Wedon’tknowwhentheywillbegintheattackbutitcouldcomeatanymoment.”Hetoldherthathewouldhavetostaywiththetroops.Hemightnotbeabletoreturnhomefromthegarrisontoseeherbeforetheend.Thearmywouldmakeafinalstandinanefforttoallowrefugeestoflee.WhenallwaslosthewouldbeorderedtopullbacktosurrendertotheBritishorFrenchinthewest,ratherthanfallintothehandsofthehatedSoviets.Heinstructedhertosewbackpacksforallofthechildren.Wewouldusethemtocarryfoodandclothing.Wewouldhavetopacknowandbepreparedtofleeatamoment’snotice.Itwasearlyspringandwewouldhavetoenduretemperaturesbelowfreezing,dayandnight.“YoumusttaketheroadtowardKönigsbergthenturnsouth.TheroadtoDanzig

iscutoff.YouwillhavetocrosstheHaff.Itistheonlyway.”TheHaffwasafrozenbayontheBalticcoast.EventhoughitwasnowFebruary,desperaterefugeeswerecrossingthemeltingicetoreachDanzig.Mother’sparents,ErnstandMinnaScheffler,hadmovedtoDanzigsoonafterthewarbegan.ItwasaGermanstrongholdinPoland,onthesouthwesternborderofEastPrussia.Ithadanice-freeporttotheBalticSea.HermannknewthattheGermanHighCommandhadbeguntherescueoperationcode-namedHannibal.[1]KeymilitarypersonnelandcivilianswerebeingevacuatedfromDanzig.ThenewlybuiltGermanpassengership,WilhelmGustloff,wascurrentlyinportloadingforavoyagetotheGermancityofKiel.“Thiswillbeyourverybestescape,”hesaid.“IfyoucanmakeittoDanzigthenyourfathercanbookpassageforyou.”Beforeleavingthatmorning,hetookMeta’shandsinhisandtogethertheyprayedforoursafety.Manytimesastheyprayedmyfathercouldbeheardspeakinginothertongues,pouringhisheartouttoGodinthisdesperatehour.Thentheyembracedandsaidatearfulgoodbye.MotherknewthiscouldbethelasttimeanyofuseversawFatheralive.Motherhadnotonlysewnpacksforeachofusboys,shehadmadethemforeachofthechildrenofourneighbor.AsthefinalRussianassaultbegan,andafterthewarningbythesoldier,shequicklycalledtheneighborstocomejoinus.ThetimehadcometobundleupforalongtriptoGrandpaandGrandma’shouseinDanzig,shesaid.LikemostGermans,weownednoautomobile.Wewouldhavetogototheroadandtrytofindarideonafarmer’swagon.Therewereelevenchildrenandtwomothersinourlittlerefugeegroup.Itwasstillthedarkofnight.Wecouldnotimaginethefearsourmothersweredealingwithonthisjourney.Forusboysitsoundedlikeafunadventure.Somethinglikeawinterhayride.Outside,wehurriedtowardthemainroad.Inthedistancewecouldseethatthewaywascloggedwithwagons,militarylorries,andthousandsofpeopleonfoot,allstreamingwesttowardKönigsberg.Wejoinedourselvestothestream.

SoonFelicitasgrewtired.Shebegantocry.Motherbundledherinablanketandcarriedher.Inthedarknesswedidnotmanagetofindafarmer’swagonthathadroomforourentiregroup.Sowecontinuedtowalkuntildaylight.Weboyssoonrealizedthatthistripwouldbenothinglikeahayride.Allaroundpeopleweretalkingoftheatrocities.Russiantankswerecomingalongtheroadbehindus,andtheywererunningoverpeople.Soldierswereshootingwomenandchildren.“Andthosearetheluckyones,”anoldfarmersaidgrimly,wagginghisheadaswequickenedourpace.Weheardtheroarofanengineontheroadbehindus.Motherscreamedatustorunintotheditch.Allofthepeoplescatteredfromtheroadway.ButitwasnotaRussiantank.Itwasamilitarytruckspeedingpast.AtruckloadedwithGermansoldiersfromthebattlefront.Theywerefleeingfortheirlives,leavingustofendforourselves.“WherearetheRussians?!”screamedarefugee,asthetruckrumbledon.“TheyhavetakenStablack!”shoutedasoldier.“Runthroughtheforest!Hideyourselves!”“Wecannottakethesechildrenthroughtheforest,”mymothersaid,asshelookedatherfrightenedneighborandfriend.“Afarmer’swagonisnomatchforthespeedofamilitarytank.Whatarewetodo?”Anothertruckcameby,andanother.Mymotherwasdeeplydistressedthatshehadnottakentotheroadmuchsooner.Shenowunderstoodthatshehadmadethedangergreaterforusbywaitinguntilthelastminute.Chaoswastheorderoftheday.ThepossibilitythatwecouldberunoverorgunneddownbytheRussianarmywasnowherfirstconcern.“ThenextGermantrooptruckwillstopforourchildren,”Mothersaidresolutely.“TheywillseethatIamaGermanmother.Theywillhavemercy.”Thenexttimeatruckspedtowardusmymotherstoodonthesideoftheroadwayhailingthedriver.Thetruckswervedinordertogopast.Motherleapt

infrontofit,andthetruckslidtoastopinthemud.Thedrivercursedangrily.“Wehavechildren!Youmustgiveusaride!”shescreamed.“Frau,thistruckisoverloaded.Icannotstop.”Withthat,thedriverputthetruckinmotionagain,leavingushuddledbesidetheroad.“Someonewillstop,”Mothersaidwithdetermination.“DearJesus,movetheheartsofthesementotakeustosafety.”Sheattemptedtostopthenexttruckandthenext.Theydidnotevenslowdownintheirheadlongrushtosavetheirownlives.Mudsplatteredoverusfromtheirspinningtiresastheyspedpast.Aswewalkedon,Motherhatchedanotherplan.Thistimeshewouldhaveourneighborstandapartwithuschildren.Wewouldremain15feetorsobehindMother’sposition.Ifshemanagedtostopanothertruckandengagethedriver,ourneighborwouldnotwaitforhisanswer.Shewouldbegintotosschildrenonebyoneintothebackofthetruck.Wewouldlandlikeelevensacksofpotatoesamongthesoldiers.Lastofall,thewomenwouldbegthementomakeroomalsoforthechildren’smothers,expectingthattheywouldnotwanttohavetocareforthechildrenbythemselves.Thisplanworked.Onceinsidethetroopcarrierthesoldiersmaderoomforuswhereformerlytherewasnone.Itwasstandingroomonly,buttheypushedagainsteachothertomakeasmallcircleintheirmidst.Finally,theypulledourmothersintothetruckanddepositedthemonthefloorbesideus.ThetruckrevveditsenginesandbegantorollontowardtheHaff.Mothersobbedandhuggedus,thankingthesoldiersagainandagainfortheirhelp.Buttheyrefusedtolookather.TheproudPrussianmilitaryhadfailedtoprotectitshomeland.Allhadbeenlost,andnowitwaseverymanforhimself.TheireyesdartedleftandrightsearchingforanysignofRussiantroopsonthemove.Notlongafter,themenbegantoscreamandpoundtheirfistsagainstthecab.Someonehadspottedaplaneapproaching.Thetrucklurchedtoastop,andthesoldiersspilledoutlikescramblingants.Hittingtheground,theyracedforcover

inanearbygroveoftrees.MothergrabbedherboysandFelicitasasafighterplaneswoopedlowoverthetruckandthenpitchedupintotheskytopositionitselfforabombingattack.Wehadnotimetoleapfromthetruckorcatchuptothesoldiers.Wewereasittingtarget.Mothertookuslikeamotherhenhoveringoverherchicks.Sheputusunderherbody,spreadinghercoatoverusandbegantopray.“HeavenlyFather,protectthesechildren.GiveusYourangelsforashield.Letnoweaponprosper.TheseareYourchildren,Lord.Keepthemsafe,inJesus’name.”Shecontinuedtoprayasthehumofballisticshrapnelfilledtheair,arrivingfasterthanthespeedofsound.Thiswasimmediatelyfollowedbytheroarofthefighter’scannonsdrowningallothersoundsandthoughts.Thetruckleaptandshookwiththedeepimpact–thump!thump!thump!–ofbombspoundingtheearthinrapidsuccession.Explosionsofsoilburstoverusastheplanebankedtowardtheeastfromwhenceithadcome.Wecouldhearsmall-armsfirefromthegroveoftreeswherethesoldierswerehiding.Thesoundoftheplane’senginediedinthedistance.Nothinghadhitthetruck.Nothingatall.Welookedup.Mothershooksoilfromhercloak.“ThankYou,Jesus,”shewhispered.Whenthesoldiersre-enteredthetrucktheyweredeeplyshamed.Nonehadlookedtooursafety.Asseasonedfighterstheyhadbeensurewhentheyboltedforthetreesthattherewouldbenothingtocomebackto.Notruck,norefugees.Theywenttogreatlengthsafterthatincidenttotakeextracarewithus.Webecametheirprizedcargo.Darknessfellagain,andwecontinuedonthroughthenextnight.InthepredawndarknesswestoppedinaforestedareaneartheHaff.Hundredsofotherfamilieshuddledinthetreesbybonfires.Thesoldierscarriedusintothewoodandtoldustobuildafire.Withdawnbreakingtheywouldnotcrosstheice.TheRussianswereflyingfromtheirpositionsaroundKönigsbergtobombtherefugeesasthey

fled,theysaid.Iwashappyforthechancetostretchmylegs.ThesearchforfirewoodintheforestwasjustwhatIneeded.Ibegantohurryalong,lookingforscrapsofdeadwoodthatmightburn.Buttheotherfamilieshaddoneagoodjob.Therewerenoscrapstobefound.Iwentdeeperintothewoods,searchingthegrounddiligently.SuddenlyIlookedupandhadnoideawhereIwas.Irantothenearestgroupofrefugees.“HaveyouseenmyMother?”“No.”Irantothenextgroupandthenext.FrombonfiretobonfireIhurried.Nooneknewme.Nooneknewmymother.Allwerestrangers.“HereisMeta,”avoicecalled.Irushedtowardthesoundofit.AmanpointedtoawomanIdidnotknow.“HereisMeta.”“No!”Icried,andrushedawayfromthem.IhadbeensuddenlywrenchedfrommyshelteredlifeinStablack.NowIwaslostinadangerousworldfullofnothingbutstrangers.Allofthethingsthatmeantcomfortandhometomehadbeensnatchedawayinonefrightfulnight.Ibegantocrylikeanairraidsiren.Akindladycameandaskedifshecouldhelpme.BetweensobsItoldherthatIhadbeenlookingforfirewoodandnowIcouldn’tfindmymother.Shepickedmeupandcarriedmefromgrouptogroupuntil,atlast,Isawmymotherwithaworriedlookonherface,searchingformeinthedistance.Ileaptfromthatwoman’sarmsandracedtoMeta.Ididn’teventhankthekindlady.Motherembracedmetightly.MyheartwasbeatingsofastwiththereleasefromfearthatIcouldhardlycalmdown.ItwasMother’scustomtohugherchildrenonceayear,onlyontheirbirthday.Herhugswereespeciallyprecious.Onthebrighterside,IhadunexpectedlyfoundawaytogetanextrahugfromMother.Itfeltsogood.

Asmorninggrewinthesky,Motherandtheneighborladylaytheirelevenchildrenonpackedbundlesaroundabonfire.WewenttosleephearingtheirprayersthatGodwouldprovidesafepassageforusacrosstheice.Suddenlythesoldierswerewakingusup.Theygatheredusandloadedusquicklyintothetruck.Wedidnotunderstandityet,butGodhadperformedananswertoourprayer.AswerumbleddowntheslopetowardtheHaffathickbankoffogrolledinfromtheBalticSea.Soonwewereengulfedinthemostblessedwhiteoutconditionsimaginable.ThiswasthedivinecoverneededtohideusfromthebombingandstrafingRussianfighterplanes.AsthetruckranacrosstheHaffthedriverhadtoslowdownandusecaution.Itwaslateintheseasonandpoolsofwaterontopoftheicesplashedaroundourtires.Attimeswewouldslidesideways,nearlyoutofcontrol.Sometimestheicewouldgroanandcrackbeneathourwheels.Februarywasnormallytoolatetoventureouthereinavehicle.Butdesperationandtheprovisionofthelife-savingfogdroveuson.Occasionallyoutoftheghostlymistwewouldencounterthedarkcirclesofbombholes.Bodiesfloatedonthedarksurfaceofthewater.Thousandshadlosttheirlivestryingtocrossbeforeus.Butwereachedtheothersideinmarveloussafety.InDanzigwepartedcompanywithourneighbors.SoonMeta,withallsixBonnkechildrenclusteredaroundher,knockedatthedoorofGrandpaandGrandmaScheffler’ssecond-storyapartment.Itwasatearfulreunion.Mother’syoungersister,Eva,wasthere,too.ThefirstthingMotherwantedtoknowwasiftheyhadheardanynewsofStablack,oranynewsofFather.Noonecouldtellheranything.Communicationshadbrokendown.Danzighadbeenunderbombardmentfordays.Assoonastheweatherlifted,thebombardmentresumed.Wesawbuildingsburstintoflamesasplanesandartilleryhammeredthecityindiscriminately.Dozensofplumesofsmokecouldbeseenaroundtheapartmenteveryday.ItwasthenthatweheardtheawfulreportthatwhenthefoghadliftedfromtheHafftheRussianairforcehadcompletelybombedouttheicecrossing.Thatway

ofescapewasgoneforalltheremainingGermanscaughtbetweenKönigsbergandDanzig.“Oh,pleaseGod,”Motherprayed,“showHermannawayofescape.Don’tlethimbecaughtoutthere.”“AndwhataboutGrandpaAugustandGrandmaMarie?”mybrotherMartincried.“TheyarestillinTrunz.”“Wedon’tknowwheretheyare,”Mothersaid.“Butwewillprayfortheirsafety,too.”GrandpaErnstseemedespeciallytroubled.Hewantedtogetusoutofthecityasfastashecouldtoescapeitsfallintoenemyhands.AtthebeginningofthewarhehadlefthisruralsheepfarmneartheLithuanianborderforajobwithawoolenmillinDanzig.Hewasdeterminedtostayuntiltheend,butDanzigwasnoplaceforhiswife,hisdaughters,orhisgrandchildren.Dailyhewouldbravethebombardmentandgototheharbor.Therehewouldjostlethroughthecrowdsseekingpassageforusonaship.“WhatabouttheWilhelmGustloff?”Motherasked.“Hermannsaidthatwemightfindsafepassageonthatship.”ForalongtimeGrandpadidnotanswer.Hisfacewasamaskofseethinganger.“Shealreadysailed,”hesaidhoarsely.Motherassumedhewasangrybecausetheyhadsailedwithoutus.Hiswife,Minna,knewhewastroubledforanotherreason,andshecouldnolongercontainhergrief.Sheburstintotears.“Tellthemtherestofit,Ernst.”“Telluswhat?”Motherasked.“ARussianU-boatsanktheWilhelmGustloff.”Suddenlythegravityofthedangerwewereinbecamemuchmorereal.WehadescapedfromStablack.ButwouldweescapeDanzig?“Didanyonelive?”

“Therewere10,600peopleonthatship.Almost9,000ofthemwererefugees,therestsoldiers.Mostofthemperished.”Motherlookedathermother.“Thenwemustpray.WewillpraythatGodwillleadPapatofindtherightshipforus.”“IwilllookforashipthatisnotgoingtoGermany,”hesaidbitterly.“Ashipthatisnotcarryingsoldiers.”Mothersatquietlyforawhilepondering.MighttherehavebeenadivinepurposeinherdelayingourdeparturefromStablack?EvenunderthethreatoftheRussianinvasion?WhatifwehadarrivedinDanzigintimetobookpassageontheWilhelmGustloff?WewouldallbeatthebottomoftheBalticSea.OnMarch17thecitywasstillbeingbombarded.Wehadleftourhomemorethanamonthago,andtheRussianshadincreasedtheirpositionsthroughoutthecountry.Grandpacamehomethatdaywithgoodnews.Hehadbeenattheportasanoldcoalfreighterhaddocked.Visitingwiththeofficers,hehadobtainedpermissionforustoridealongtoCopenhagenthenextmorning.Wewouldhavetoleaveearly.Hefeltthatthiswasanespeciallygoodvesselunderthecircumstances.Itwasnotamilitarytransport.Healsothoughtthatitsdestinationbodewellforanunmolestedcrossing.ItwasboundforDenmark,thecountrythathadsufferedlessthanothersunderGermanoccupation.Asthewarended,thisseemedthebestpossibleplaceforus.ThatnightMinna,Eva,andMetafastedandprayed.EventhoughGrandpaErnsthaddonehisbestforus,theywereterrified.TheywantedtohearfromGodaboutourjourneyonthisship.Afterawhile,Minnagotupandtookasmallboxfromthemantle.Sheremoveditslid.ItcontainedhundredsofBiblememoryversesprintedoncards.ShehelditouttoMetaandtoldhertotakeoutacard.ShebelievedthatthecardwouldcontainawordfromtheLordastowhetherweshouldgoonthisshiporwaitforanother.Motherreachedouttothecardbox.Shetookacardandhandedittohermother.

“Isaiah43:16,”Minnabegan,“ThussaiththeLord,whichmakethawayinthesea,andapathinthemightywaters…”Shecouldnotreadanotherword.NordidMotherreplyforamoment.Thethreewomensatwithtearsstreamingfromtheireyes.TheLordhadspoken.Hewouldbethecaptainofthisvoyage.NowtheyburstoutinpraisetoGod.Allofuscameneartosharethejoy.Wereadthecardagain,andfaithroseupinourheartsforthejourney.FaiththatGodwouldseeusthroughsafely.Thenextmorningwepackedourbundlesforthetrip.Wewalkeddownthehilltotheshipyards.WhenwegotthereGrandpawasdismayed.Apparentlyothershadseizeduponthesameidea.Thousandsofpeoplewerepackedontothedock,readytomakethesametrip.Wewerelostinthecrowd.Theshipcouldnotpossiblyholdafractionofthoseseekingpassage.Ourheartssank.MotherwasdeterminedshehadheardfromGod.Shetookuschildrenbythehandandpressedintothecrowd.“Makewayforchildren,”shesaid,againandagain,aswepushedourwayforward.Finallythepressofthecrowdbecametoogreat.Wewerewithinsightofthegangwaytotheshipbutcouldgonofurther.Motherwasfearfulthatoneofusmightbehurt.Thepeopleinthecrowdweredesperate.Suddenly,someonebeganscreamingandpointingtotheskyintheeast.ARussianfighterplanewassightedflyingdowntheshipyardline,gunsblazing,headedstraightforwherewestood.Peoplebegantoscreamandrun.Motherknewthechildrenwouldbetrampled,soshehuddledusalltogether,tellingustogetdownandhidebehindourluggage.Oncemore,asshehaddoneonthemilitarylorry,sheshieldeduswithherbody.Theairhummedagainwiththesoundofballisticshrapnel.Hungrybulletsseekingfleshtodestroy.Whentheplanehadpassedoverweweresafe.Safe,butbadlyshaken.Myoldest

brother,Martin,tothisdayvividlyrememberstheterrorofthatmoment.Hesaidthathefeltsurehewoulddiefromtakingabulletthroughhisback.Hewasabsolutelysureofitandfoundithardtobelievehewasstillaliveafterward.Butwewerenotinjured.Needlesstosaythecrowdhadthinned.MybrotherGerhardremembersthatMother’ssister,Eva,stoodupatthispointandbeganscreamingataship’sofficerwhostoodnearthegangway.“Sir,lookhere!Hereisamotherwithsixchildren!Youmusttakethemnow!”Theofficerturnedhisbacktoher,pretendingnottohear.Butshewouldnotstop.Sheranasclosetothegangwayasshecould,repeatingherdemand.MoreRussianplaneswerenowcirclingabove,seekingtargetsofopportunity.WegrabbedourluggageandhurriedafterMothertowardthegangway.Evacontinuedtoscreamattheofficerwhoseemeddeterminedtoignoreus.Suddenly,withoutwarning,hesimplyturnedandopenedthegangwaygatetoletusallin.Inthisway,GodmaderoomforusonthatshipboundforCopenhagen.WeturnedandwavedatGrandpaaswehurriedupthegangway.Onboardtheyhustledusbeneathdeck.Soonotherrefugeeswerecrowdedtogetherwithus.Theyfilledthelowerholdoftheshipwithasmanypassengersasseemedprudent.Thentheywithdrewthegangway.Manymorepeoplewereleftoutsidepleadingforaplaceonboard.Butthegreatfoghornsounded,andtheshippulledslowlyfromthedock.Ourvoyagehadbegun.OnceontheopenBaltic,theconditionsbelowdeckdeterioratedfast.Theseawasmakingconsiderableswells,andmanyweresuccumbingtomotionsickness.Thesmellofvomit,feces,andurinebegantoreekintheair.Inthemiddleofthenightmybladdercouldholdnomore.“Please,Momma,Ineedtogoondecktopee.”Mothercouldnotletmegoalone.ShesentAuntEvawithme,whotookgreatcare,makingsureIheldtightlytoherhand.Wereachedthemaindeckandenteredthecoldnightair.Irememberthesaltyfreshsmellofit.Itinvigoratedmeafterenduringthestenchbelowdecks.AfterusingthelatrineIlookedupintothestarrysky.AsIgazedatMilkyWay,slowlytiltingwiththerollofthe

shipIheardthefaintdroneofaplane.Suddenlymyheartnearlyleapedfrommychest.Ondeckofthiscivilianshipanti-aircraftgunshadbeenmountedandhiddenundertarps.Thecoversweresuddenlyremovedandthegunsbeganblastingintotheheavensattheapproachingfighter.AuntEvascreamedanddraggedmetowardtheopenhatch,butIbrokefree,fascinatedbythedramainthesky.BeforeshecouldgrabmeagainanddragmedowntheropeladderIsawthefighterplaneburstintoflames.“Look!Look!”Ishouted,pointingtoit.Foramomentbothofuswatchedtransfixedastheplanefelllikeaburningmeteor,splashingintothedarkandicywatersofftooneside.Thepassengersondeckbegantocheer.IthadbeenaRussianfighterthatplummetedfromthesky.AsEvahurriedmedownbelowdecksshewasthankingGodthatatleastwehadescapedthestrafingthathadtargetedusonthedocksinDanzig.Ialsorecalledtheterrorofthebulletsandbombsthathadrockedthemilitarytruckaswesathelplessontheroad.Incidentbyincident,therealitiesofthiswarwerebecomingrealtomyfive-year-oldmind.Sometimeaftermidnight,wewereawakenedbyanimpactagainstthehull.Staringintothedarkness,allwecouldhearwastheconstantchurningoftheship’sengineroomcontinuingoncourse.AllofthepassengershadheardofthefateoftheWilhelmGustloff.Aftersomeminutes,passengersbegantopanicastheshiplistedhardtooneside.Thecrewrushedtothelowerdeckswithgasoline-poweredpumps.Eithertheshiphadstruckamineorhadbeenhitbyatorpedo.Waterwasrushinginfromagapingholeinthehull.Soonthesoundsofthepumpenginescouldbeheardbelowdecks,removingtheincomingwater.Mothercalledustoherside.HerewasthesupremetestofherpromisefromGod.Shebegantopray,MinnaandEvajoiningher,remindingGodthatHewastheGodwhohadspoken,sayingthatHemadeawayinthesea,andapathinthemightywaters.Aftersomehourstheshipbegantorightitself.Thecrewexplainedthatthe

pumpshadbeguntoworkfasterthantheincomingwater,andwewerestayingafloat.WhenthecoastofDenmarkappearedandweenteredtheharboratlast,everyoneweptandcheered.Ilookedatthedistantshorewithoutaclueastowhatawaitedushere.AllIknewisthatIwantedtostayclosetothewomanwhohadprayedussafelythroughthefallofEastPrussia.ThoughIcouldnotyetputitintowords,inmyheartIwantedtoknowtheGodsheknew.AndIwantedtoknowHimlikesheknewHim.

Chapter6

MetabundledFelicitasinablanketandcarriedherinherarms.Shegatheredallfiveblond-headedBonnkeboysaroundher,andtogetherwesteppedoffthecoalfreighterintothefreezingsleetofaCopenhagenspring.EvaheldGrandmotherMinnabythearmastheyfollowedunsteadilydownthegangway.Othershipswereunloadingatthedocksaroundus.SlowlywebegantounderstandthatwewerebutnineofaquartermillionGermanrefugeesenteringDenmark.85percentofthemwerelikeus–womenwithchildren.[2]Atfirstweweretreatedwell.TheNazi-supervisedDanishgovernmentdidtheirbesttofeedandhouseusinemptyschools,warehouses,andmeetinghouses.Butinamatterofdays,Hitlerwasdead,andGermanysurrendered.TheoccupyingGermanforceswithdrewandeverythingchanged.ThehorrorsoftheNazideathcampsandcrematoriumsbecameheadlinenewsaroundtheworld,andwefeltthehatredoftheDanishpeopleexplodinginourfaces.SomerefugeeswereattackedbyangrymobswhowantedtokilleveryGermaninsight.Forourownsafetywewereremovedtoamilitary-patrolleddetentioncenter.Itwasringedinbarbedwireandhastilyconstructedguardtowers,resemblingthosewe’dseenattheprisoner-of-warcampinStablack.Thedifferencewasthatnowweweretheprisonersontheinside.ThiswouldbeourhomeforthenextfouryearsastheworldsortedouttheterribleaftermathofWorldWarII.Wesharedasmallbungalowwithtwoandsometimesthreeotherfamilygroups.Noonehadmoney.Wehadasystemofvouchersforrationednecessitiesliketoiletpaper,soap,toothbrushes,andclothing.Wewerefedenmasseatacentralkitchen.Thefoodprovidedwasunappetizingandbarelynutritious.Manysufferedfromdysentery.Intime,weakeradultsandchildrenbegantodieofmalnutritionanddehydration.Forusboys,partofeachday’sroutineinvolvedhelpingtocarrywaterandfirewoodtoourcabin.Firewoodremainedinshortsupply,andgettingwarmandfedbecamethefirstgoalofeachandeveryday.

Asthedaysandmonthspassed,Mothernursedusthroughthenormalfevers,colds,andboutswithflu,usinghomeremediesandprayer.Doctorswerenotavailable.Onlybasicmedicinesandfirstaidcouldbefound.Duringourfirstyearinthecamps,13,000died,mostlychildrenundertheageoffive.[3]Today,moss-coveredstoneslabsmarktherestingplacesoftheseGermanchildreninnearlyforgottencornersofDanishgraveyards.Insomecasesonestonerepresentsseveralchildrenhastilyburiedinasinglegrave.IrecalloneIrecentlyvisitedatthesiteofourinternment.AsinglestonecrossbearsthenamesofGeorgeKott,3monthsofage,RosewithaRogge,3months,andErikaRauchbach,whodiedafterfourdaysoflife.Andtheheadstonesgoonandonlikethis,rowafterrow,7,000inall.Evenasthewarended,thetragicmomentumofdeathithadspawnedsimplywouldnotstop.Butofcourse,boyswillbeboys,eveninaprisoncamp.MyolderbrothersandIfoundwaystoplayourgamesasMother,Eva,andMinnaborethefullbruntofhardship.Ivividlyrecallchasingamakeshiftsoccerballthroughthecamp.OnedayIchasedituptothebarbedwirefence.Stoopingtopickitup,Isawanarmedguardinatower.ItremindedmethatwewerenotfreetorunandplayaswehadbeeninStablack.Itslowlydawnedonmethatwewerenotliketheotherchildrenwhosometimesstoodontheothersideofthefencestaring.Sometimestheirparentsstoodwiththemandpointedatus,andsometimestheycursedusforwhatwehaddonetotheworld.Islowlybecameawarethatthearmymyfatherhadservedbelongedtoanevilempire.ThetruthaboutNaziatrocitiesandHitler’sinsanitybegantomaketheirwayevenintotheconversationsofGermanboysandgirlsatplayinthecamps.Ourfather’smilitaryrank,whichhadoncebeenasourceofpridefortheBonnkeboys,nowbecamesomethingwekepttoourselves.Weweresoberedandsaddened.MybrothersandIlongedtoseeourfatherandtoknowthathewasokay,andtolearnfromhimtheanswerstotheseterribleaccusations.MotherhadreceivednoofficialwordaboutDad,butshereassuredusthatGodwouldtakecareofhimjustasHehadtakencareofusonourperilousflightfromEastPrussia.Butformanylongmonthswewereunderadarkcloud,

wonderingifhehadbeencrushedbeneaththewheelsoftheadvancingRussiantanks.Inresponsetoourquestions,MotherfinallysatusdowntotellusthatwewouldneverseeourhomeinStablackagain.ThatpartoftheworldhadbeentakenoverbytheSovietUnion.SheexplainedthattheendofthewarhadcaughtusinDenmarkandthatintimewewouldbeallowedtoreturntoanotherpartofGermanywherewewouldbuildanewlife.Untilthen,wewouldhavetomakethebestoflifeintherefugeecamp.Carryingthefullweightofparentingsixchildren,MotherletthesternnessofherPrussianupbringingcomeforth.Nodoubtherstrictnesswascompoundedbyconstantanxietiesaboutoursafety.Wehadtogiveaccounttoherforourwhereaboutsatalltimesandgetpermissioninadvancetodoanythingorgoanywherewithfriends.Shewouldtoleratenodeviationfromhereverycommand.Norwouldsheallowotheropinionstobeexpressedonceshehadspoken.Torunafoulofherwastoriskagoodhiding,asshecalledit.Thewordhadsomethingtodowiththetanningofananimal’shide,whichmeantthepunishmentwouldbesufficienttochangetheshadeofone’sskin,attheveryleast.Shedidnothesitatetospankorslapuswithanopenhandtomakesureherauthoritywasnevertakenlightly.Anditseldomwas.Thethreatwasdeterrentenoughforeveryone–thatis,everyonebutme.

Denmarkrefugeecamp.Thebackgroundwasawallpaper.SomehowIearnedmorethanmyshareofhidings.Imightrunofftoplaywithafriendandforgettoaskpermission.Or,Imightexpressanopinioncontrarytoherrules,asifIhadaperfectrighttodoso.Iwouldbecomedistractedwhilecarryingfirewoodandendupplayingsoccer.OnasuddenwhimImightfashionafortfromthefirewoodIwascarryingandengageinafuriouschestnutfightwithanopposingteamofchildren.Myclotheswouldbecometornandfilthyat

theknees.AtmealtimeImightbeginwrestlingwithasiblingandspillmyfoodanddrink.ThereseemednoendtothewaysIcouldgetintotrouble.ItgotsothatinthemorningMotherwouldlookatmeandsay,“Younaughtyboy!Imightaswellgiveyouagoodhidingrightnowandgetitoverwith.”Andshemeantit.AstimeworeonIbegantofeelthatshewasright;Iwasanespeciallynaughtyboy.NomatterhowoftenIwascorrecteditseemedIneverlearnedmylesson.Iworemymotherout.Oftenshewouldsay,“Isowantedalittlegirlwhenyouwereborn,butyouweremyfifthboy.Dear,Lord!”ItbegantodawnonmethatIwasaheavyburdentoher,butIcouldn’tseemtoriseaboveit.Finally,itdidn’tseemtomatter.EvenwhenImanagedtodoeverythingrightIstillsensedanattitudeofexasperationcomingfromhereverytimeIwasintheroom.Itwasmorethanmisbehaviorthatirritatedher.Ifeltthatitwasme.Notfeelingwell,myfatherHermannBonnkelayinhisprisonbunkstaringatthewoodenslatsofthebedafewinchesabovehisnose.Hehadbeenexcusedfromworkdetail,whichallowedhimtospendsomeprecioustimealoneintheBritishprisonbarracks.Hethoughtofhowmanymillionsofprisonershadlainawakeinclaustrophobicquarterslikethisthroughoutthehellishwaryears.VictimsoftheNaziregime.Howmanyofthem–millionsofthem–haddiedinhorriblewayshewishedhecoulderasefromhismind.HehadonlyrecentlylearnedofHitler’sFinalSolution.Hewasstillinshockoverit.TheexterminationofJewsappalledhimbeyondwords.AsaPentecostalbeliever,hehadregardedtheJewsasthechosenpeoplethroughwhomGodhadrevealedtheMessiah,theSaviorofallmankind.Knowingthathehadservedagovernmentthathadplannedtoexterminateallofthemlefthimpermanentlyshaken.Ithauntedhisthoughtsandevenhisdreamsatnight.HewonderedhowtheStablackprisonersofwarwerefaring.ThosehismenhadguardedattheprisoncampinEastPrussia.TheyhadbeenmostlyBelgianandFrenchsoldiers.SomehadreturnedtoEuropewithstoriesofevenworseconfinementafterbeingliberatedbytheRussians.HowwerehisfellowGermansoldiersfaring?Howmanyhadsurvivedthefinal

onslaught?HethoughtespeciallyofthosewhohadstayedbehindinKönigsbergsohecouldescapebysea.Herecalledhowtheyhadsacrificedthemselves.“Youareafatherofsixchildren,”theofficerinchargehadsaid.“YoumustreturntobuildanewGermanywiththem.”HehadbeengivenpassageonthelastminesweepertoleavetheharboratKönigsbergbeforetheend.HisfellowsoldiershadheldbacktheSovietsuntilhisshiphadmadeitsafelyintotheopenwatersoftheBalticSea.RumorsnowhadcomethatthemenwhohadstayedbehindhadbeenmarchedawayonthepointofbayonetsintothevastSiberianGulaginRussia.Theywouldneverbeseenagain.Heraisedhisrighthandandturneditoverandoverbeforehisface.InthedepthsofhishearthewishedhehadneverbeentheyoungboywhohadraisedawoodenswordinthevillageofTrunz,dreamingofgloryinbattle.LittlehadheknownthatthePrussianCrosshehadsolongedtowearwouldbehijackedfromitsgodlyheritageandtwistedintoHitler’sswastika.HowthedescendantsoftheHolyRomanEmpirecouldbetransformedintotheNaziregime,hestillcouldnotfathom.Buthehadseenithappenwithhisowneyes,dayafterday,withahelplessfeelinginthepitofhisstomach.IthadtakenonlytenyearsforHitlertoseizeabsolutepoweroverhisbelovedhomeland.HewouldneverliveanotherdaywithoutregrettingbeingGerman.Hermannhadbeeninthisprisoncampfor279daysandnights.Everyminuteofeverydayhefeltthepangoflongingforhiswife,Meta,andhischildren.Hesaweachoftheirfacesinhismemorynow,ashehadseenthemlastinStablack.Heprayedforthembyname,askingthattheybepreservedaliveandwell,andthattheybereunitedbyGod’sgraceinduetime.HehadinquiredagainandagainthroughtheRedCrossoftheirsafetyandwhereaboutsbuthadlearnednothing.Witheachpassingdaythegnawingacheinhisstomachgrewstronger,whisperingthattheyhadnotsurvived.Still,inhisconfinement,hedidnotfeelpersecuted.ItseemedsmallpaymentforthemegadeathandsufferingdealtbytheGermanarmyoverthelastfewyears.ThetrialsforNaziwarcrimeswereevennowbeginninginthecityofNuremberg.HewouldnothavetostandtrialbecauseasanofficerintheReichswehr,hehadneverjoinedtheNaziParty.Buthehadservedtheircausein

aterriblekillingmachine.Hethoughtthatifheweregiventhedeathpenaltyasaprisonerofwarnow,itwouldnotbetoosevere.Butalas,itcouldnotatoneforsomanysins.Thewar’ssweepwastoomassiveanditsevilstoomanyforanycourttoeversetright.ButtherewasOnewhokeptperfectcount.NotevenasparrowfellwithoutHisknowledge.Thehairsoftheheadsofeverywarvictim,nottomentionofeveryperpetrator,hadbeenperfectlynumberedandrecordedinHisdivineBook.OnedaytheBookwouldbeopened,andeveryonewouldstandbeforetheGreatWhiteThronetogiveaccountforhisdeeds.Godalonecouldbalancethescalesofjustice.AndHehaddoneso.InheaventherewasasecondBook.TheBookofLife.Themembersofthehumanracewouldfinallynotstandorfallbasedupontheirdeeds–goodorevil.TheywouldbesavediftheirnameshadbeenwrittenintheBookofLife.ToacceptJesusasSaviorplacedtheirnamesinthisBook.ThiswasHermann’shopeandthehopeofeveryChristianbelieveronbothsidesofthewar.Ashelaythere,inhisimagination,hesawapairofscalesweigheddowntothefloorwithanimpossibledebt.Atank,abomber,afieldhelmet,abayonet,anIronCrossadornedwithswastikas.Then,placedontheoppositesideofthescale,theoldruggedcross.Undertheweightofthatcrossthescaleswerebalanced.Thisalonewastheequationofdivinejustice.GodplacedonHimtheiniquityofusall.[4]TearsebbedfromhiseyesashisheartreachedouttothisinfiniteGodinprayer.MyheavenlyFather,IamYoursfortheremainingyearsofmylife.Nomoremilitaryserviceforme.Itismyheart’sdesiretopreachYourgospelandtoserveYoualone,untilthedayIseeYoufacetoface.Acrosstheemptybarracksheheardadoorquietlyopenandclose.Someonebeganwalkingsoftlyacrossthefloor.Theflooringsoftwoodscreakedbeneatheverystep.HermannthoughtperhapsitwasaBritishguardcomingtocheckonhim.Oradoctorcomingtoseewhyhehadreportedfeelingsick.Herolledfromthebunkandstooduptofacehim,andtohisuttershockitwasamaninwhite,wearingaseamlessrobeandMiddleEasternsandals.Hewas

smilingasHemovedtowardhim,handsextendedasiftoembracehim.HishairwaslongandHisbeardfull,andwhenHermannreachedouttotakeHishandhesawthatitwastorncompletelythroughfromtheforceofaRomannail.“Hermann,Iamsogladyouarecoming,”theMastersaid,thenvanishedintothinair.Hermannfelltohisknees.Hecoulddonothingbutweepfortherestofthedayandnight.HowcouldtheSaviorbemadegladbyonesoguilty?Returningtohisbunk,helaydown,hissouloverflowingwiththepeaceofGodthatpassesunderstanding.UntilthismomentithadseemedinconceivablethatanimprisonedsoldieroftheThirdReichcouldreceivethesmileoftheLambofGod,andthattheSaviorwouldexpressGod’spleasureathisdesiretoserveHimasaministerofthegospel.Thetreasureofthisencounterburnedlikeawarmingfireinhisheartuntilthedayhedied.WhatadayforuswhentheRedCrossdeliveredthatwonderfulletter!Thefirstofmany.Ourfatherhadfoundusatlast!Mother’stearsfellfreelyasshereadhiswordsagainandagain,strokinghishandwritingwithherfingers,knowingthatherbelovedHermannhadmiraculouslyescapedthewar’send.IjumpedwithjoyasshegaveusthenewsthathewasaliveinaBritishprisoner-of-warcampnearKiel,Germany.Kiel,sheexplained,wasnotfarfromDenmark,justacrossthenarrowstraightsoftheBaltic.Itwouldbeyearsuntilwesawhim,butjustknowinghewasaliveandthathewasthatclosetousinmiles,wasenoughfornow.OurentirefamilyhadbeensparedbythehandofGodfromtheterribleendofthewar.IwatchedthejoyonMother’sfaceandIreflectedherhappiness.Ispentmytimeintherefugeecampwithanewmeasureofpurposethereafter.Dayslater,whileatplay,InoticedaseriouslookonthefaceofmyolderbrotherMartin.HewasspeakingtoGerhard,Peter,andJürgennearthecompoundfence,andheseemeddeepinthought.Icamenearandheardsomeofwhathewassaying.“…Whydidn’tGodsavethepeopleontheWilhelmGustloff?TheywereChristians.WhatabouttheoneswhofellthroughtheiceontheHaff?DidGodsavetheBonnkesandnotthem?Goddidn’tsendthefogthatcoveredus.That

fogwasjustpartoftheweatherpatterns.Weweretheluckyones,that’sall.Somedaysthefogcomesandsomedaysitdoesn’t.Goddidn’tdoit.”Thesewerebigideas.Toobigformynowsix-year-oldmind.HearingthemfromMartinmademefeelterrible,likesomeonehadstolenmymostprizedpossession.Iwalkedawayquickly,deeplydisturbed.Later,IfoundMotheralone.“Mother,GodkeptussafefromtheRussians,didn’tHe?”“Oh,yes,Reinhard,Hedid.”Icouldseeherfaceglowingwiththankfulnessasshespoke.“AnddidHekeepFather,also?”“Yes,andFather,too.Godissogood.WemustpraiseHimeverydayandbethankfulforHisprotectionoverourfamily.Somanyperished,butwewerespared.”Myheartbecamepeacefulagain.Herfaithwasthesolidrockthatanchoredmydriftingsoul.TothisbeliefIwouldclingforcomfortandjoy.AndinthiswayIbegantowalkapathseparateanddistinctfromthatofmyolderbrothers.Ourwayswouldeventuallyleadustoverydifferentdestinations.Afternearlytwoyearsinthecamp,GrandpaErnstSchefflercontactedMinnaandEvathroughtheRedCross.HehadsurvivedthefallofDanzigandhadescapedtoNeu-Ulm,Germany.TheoldsheepfarmerwasworkingforabranchofthesamewoolenmillthathademployedhiminDanzig.Hehadsecuredahomeandhadfoundawaytofreehiswifeanddaughterfromthecamp.Weweresad,andatthesametimesogladwhenwesaidourgoodbyes.WewantedGrandmaandAuntEvatobefree,butwedidnotunderstandwhywewerenotgivenourfreedomatthesametime.Thesewerequestionstowhichwecouldexpectnoanswers.WeweremerelyGermanwarrefugeeswhointheeyesofmanydeservedlifeinprison.Meanwhile,wecontinuedtoreceivelettersfromFather.Thesewerethehighlightofourremainingtimeinthecamp.WewouldgathertogetherandMotherwouldreadthemaloudtous,andwewouldfeelconnectedagain.We

woulddaretodreamofafutureinwhichwewouldbetogetherwithFather.IthadhappenedforGrandpaErnst,Minna,andEva.Itwouldsurelyhappenforus.IrememberthedayFathertoldusofhisreleasefromtheprisoner-of-warcamp.WeshoutedandcelebratedandsangpraisetoGod.HehadbeenallowedtogotoacityinnorthernGermanycalledGlückstadt.Therehehadfoundaroominafriend’shouse,andhehadbeenofferedagoodpayingjobasacivilservant.Hewaspreparingaplaceforustocomeandlivewithhimwhenwewerereleased.Wewereecstatic.ThenameGlückstadtmeant“LuckCity.”AsChristianswedidnotbelieveinluck,butwecertainlybelievedthatitwouldbeourverygoodfortunetolivetherewithFather.EspeciallywhenwelearnedthathehadfoundalittlePentecostalchurchinthattownandhadjoinedthefellowship.Thiswouldbeourchurchhomewhenwejoinedhim.Weweresurethatourtimeoffreedomwasnear.WebegantodreamoflifeinthehousewithFatherinGlückstadt.Butaswewaited,thedaysturnedintoweeksandintomonths,untilfinallywestoppedasking,“Mother,whenarewegoingtolivewithFather?”Thequestionbroughttearstohereyes.Anotherletterarrivedthatthreweverythingintotension.Moreprecisely,theletterthrewMotherintoturmoil.NowthatIamanadult,Icanbetterunderstandit.InthisletterFatheraskedifshewouldsupporthiminadecisiontoturnhisbackonthesecureincomehewouldreceiveinacivilianjob.HewantedtobecomethepastorofasmallgroupofPentecostalrefugeesinthenearbyvillageofKrempe.HeexplainedthatKrempewasonlyfivemilesfromthehousewherehelivedinGlückstadt.Hecouldridethereonabicycleandbecometheirpreacher.Hehadgreatcompassionforthesesufferingpeople,hesaid,anditwasthedesireofhishearttoservetheLordbyservingthem,ratherthanreceiveanotherkindofpaycheck.HeremindedherofhispromisetoGodintheprisoncampandofthevisitationfromJesushehadreceivedthere.Thesethingshadbeencommunicatedinearlierletters.HealsoremindedherofhisdedicationtoGodbeforethewar,whenhehadgonetoasoldier’sretreatatReinbeckCastle.Fromthatdayon,hehadwantedtorespondtothecallingoftheLordtofull-timeministry,buthehadbeenunabletoobtainadischargefromtheReichswehr.Now,afterthewar,allofthathadchanged.

MotherprayedandsoughtGodforheranswer.Thiswouldnotbeeasy.Shewasthestrugglingmotherofsix,livingforyearsinarefugeecamphopingforabetterfuture.ItappearedthattheLordhadprovidedthatbettertomorrowinGlückstadtwithherhusband.Meanwhile,millionsofGermanswereunemployed.Togiveupanincomewithpost-warsecuritywaslikelettinggoofalifepreserveraftertheWilhelmGustloffhadgonedown.Inadditiontoherfinancialconcerns,Mothercouldthinkofoneotherhurdlethatstoodintheway.Hermannhadmadeapromisetoherfather,ErnstScheffler,inordertoobtainpermissiontomarryher.ShewroteareturnlettertoFather,remindinghimofthesolemnpledgehehadmade.Hadheforgotten?CouldanypreacherbeatruemanofGodifhebrokesuchapromise?

Chapter7

Motherwrotealetter,remindingHermannofapledgehehadmadetoherfatherErnst.InordertomarryMeta,hehadpromisedthathewouldneverbecomeapreacherofthegospel.IthadbeenErnst’sonecondition.Whatwastobedonewiththatpromise?Coulditbesimplydiscarded?Myfather’sreplywasbasically,yes,itcouldbediscarded.HewouldapproachErnsttolearnifhewasstillholdinghimtothepromise.Surelyhewasnot.Butifso,hewouldhavetoinformhimthatheansweredtoahigherauthority.HermannrememberedhowhehadsignedawayhislifetotheGermanReichswehrwhilestillayoungmaninhisteens.Yearslater,aftercomingtotheLord,andcomingofage,hehadchangedhismind.Hewantedtoleavethemilitaryandenterthefulltimeministry.Butthegovernmentwouldnotallowit.Bondagetoayouthfulvowhadledhimtoservethemosthorrificregimeinhistory.Lessonlearned.HewouldnotbeheldtoErnstScheffler’sdemandifitviolatedthecalloftheManwiththenail-scarredhands.Thequestioncamebacktotheonebetweenmyfatherandmother.Wouldshesupporthimifhefollowedthiscall?Onceagainshehadtogotoherkneesintheprisoncamp,seekingassurancethatGodwouldsupplyforthefamilyifHermannmadethischange.Atlength,shereceivedpeaceinherheart.ShewroteHermannbacktellinghimthatshewouldsupporthimfullyifhefeltKrempewasthedoorGodhadopenedforministry.ThepromisehehadmadetoherfathercouldnotcomparetothevisitationhehadreceivedfromtheLord,confirminghiscalling.Besides,hermother,Minna,wasawomanofbiblicalspirituality.ShewouldhelpwithanyobjectionsfromErnst.Subsequently,ourfatherwasprovidedabicyclebythepastorofthechurchinGlückstadt.HeusedittoridethefullfivemilestoandfromchurchinKrempeeachSunday.Everyletterfromhimfromthistimeonwasfilledwithstoriesofministry.WelearnedoftheextremepovertyamongtherefugeesandhowthetownofKrempehadgenerouslyprovidedahallforhismeetingsfreeofcharge.Eachlettercontainedinformationthatmadeusfeelapartofwhathewasdoing.Overtime,Father’scongregationgrewtoinclude100refugees.Thisgrowth

forcedthemoutofthefreehallintoayouthhostelthatcouldaccommodatetheentiregroup.HetoldusofchildreninKrempewhowouldsomedaywanttomeetuswhenwecametojoinhiminGlückstadt.ItriedtoimaginewhatGlückstadtandKrempelookedlikeandwhattheotherchildreninmyfather’schurchwerelike.Allofthedifficultyintherefugeecampseemedmoreendurablenowthatwehadsuchafuturebeforeus.MostofallIrememberimaginingmyfatherinthepulpit.Iwasveryproudtothinkthathewasnolongerasoldierbutapreacherofthegospel.Motherfoundwaystobeablessinginspiteofthechallengesofcamplife.ShemanagedtogetaccesstoasewingmachineandkeptuswelloutfittedfortheDanishclimate.Sheorganizedacampchoir,copyingsheetmusicbyhand.Whensomeonehadabirthdayinthecampshesawtoitthattheywereproperlycelebratedinsong.WhenanyonediedshewouldconductthechoirasthechaplainsaidprayersandreadScripture.AtChristmasourentirefamilycelebratedwithaconcertofcarolsandstrollingminstrels.

GrandmaMinnawasawomanofbiblicalspirituality.AsIgrewolderinthecampIcontinuedtoearnherangerandharshdiscipline.

Oftenmymisbehaviorwouldreducehertooutburstsevenasshewasengagedinleadingthechoirorsewingclothes.Nooneinthosedaysthoughtanythingwrongwithaparentactinginthisway.Itwasassumedthatparentswereresponsiblefortheactionsoftheirchildren.Underthiskindofthinking,Iwasbringingshametoher.Nearlythreeyearspassedinthecamp.Onherbirthday,MotherwasallowedtotakeustoattendalocalLutheranchurch.Whenwearrivedshewasthrilledtoseethatthisparticularedificehousedafinepipeorgan.Aftertheserviceendedsheapproachedthepreacherwithaspecialbirthdayrequest.Wouldheallowhertoplayjustonehymnonthegreatorgan?Hegraciouslyallowedit.Whensheplayed,thepreacherreceivedarevelation.Nooneinhisparishpossessedmother’smusicalskills.Hequicklyrealizedthatsuchatalentcouldmakeamarkedimprovementintheworshipexperienceinhissanctuary.Now,hehadarequestforher.“Wouldyoupleasecomeback,Mrs.Bonnke,eachSundayandplayforus?”Andofcourse,itwashergreatpleasuretodosoandtobringallsixofustositinthepewsnearby.Irememberhowtallthevaultedceilingswereinthatchurch,andhowlargethepipesonthatorgan.Irecalltheblastsofthevariousnotesandinstrumentsthatseemedtoexplodefrommymother’sfingertipsassheplayed–notesthatechoedbacklikepeltingrainfromavaultedheaven.Itwasformealoudandintimidatingformofworship.ThatmightymusicinthatcavernouschurchleftmewithafeelingthatGodwashugeandfarawayandindifferenttothesquirmingbehindofayoungboyimprisonedinahand-carvedDanishpew.Untilshefinishedplaying,IwasnearlybesidemyselftobefreeofthatplacesoIcouldrunandplaysoccerintherefugeecampfieldagain.Myfouryearsofinternmentfromtheageoffiveuntilninemarkedonmypsychethewonderfuldifferencefaithcanmake.EspeciallyfaithinalovingandcompassionateGod.Mymother,morethananyoneelse,etchedthatlastingimpressionuponme.Asspringfollowswinter,asthosewhomournwillbecomforted,soMeta’smusicfollowedaftertheagoniesofwar.Inmyheart,andyearslaterinmyhead,herperformanceonthatgreatpipeorganbecameamagnificentanthem.Those

greathymnslikeLuther’sAmightyFortressisourGodhaveawayofimprintingthemselvesindeliblyinthememory.Watchingtheexampleofmymother,asbothamusicianandarefugee,IbegantoknowthatthecompassionofourLordflowslikearivertowardthoseinprison.Whethervictimsorperpetrators,Hisbloodwasshedforthesinsofall.NocauseoreffectofhumanfailureisbeyondHisreach.Yearslater,asIbegantoreadandunderstandtheBibleformyself,IcameacrossthewordsofJesusasHequotedfromIsaiah61:TheSpiritoftheLordGodisuponme;becausetheLordhathanointedmetopreachgoodtidingsuntothemeek;hehathsentmetobindupthebrokenhearted,toproclaimlibertytothecaptives,andtheopeningoftheprisontothemthatarebound;ToproclaimtheacceptableyearoftheLord.MyheartimmediatelyrecognizedthisgoodnewsasamessagefromtheveryheartofGod.TheGodmymotherknew.TheGodIlongedtoknow,eventhoughIwasaverynaughtyboy.

Chapter8

Pöppendorf!Pöppendorf!Pöppendorf!Thiswordpuffedfromthestackofthesteamenginethatpulledourtrainalongtheshiningrails–or,soitseemedtome.Pöppendorfwasthenameoftheprisoncamptowhichweweretraveling.ItwastheplacewherewewouldmeetFatheragain.Icouldnotsitdown.Forweeksafterlearningthatwewouldbereunited,Ihadseenmyselfrunningfasterthanallofmybrothers–andofcourse,mysister,too–andleapingfirstintoFather’sarms.WhileplayingsoccerinthecampinDenmark,Ihadsecretlytestedmyself.IwassurethatIcouldoutrunthemall.IwastheswiftestBonnkeintheclan.Bymyownmeasure,atleast.AswerolledthroughthegreenfarmlandofnorthernGermany,Istoodatanopenwindow.Icouldsmellandtastethesulfur-tingedexhaustfromthecoal-firedengine.ThetraintookalongcurveandIstrainedtoseepastthewhitetrailofsteamandcindersmoke.Iwasdeterminedtoshout,“Pöppendorf!IseePöppendorf!”attheveryfirstopportunity.Myinsidestickledlikeaballoonfullofbutterflies.Ifairlybouncedonmytiptoeswithanticipation.WhenlastIhadseenmyfatherIhadbeen4.Now,Iwasalmost9.MothertoldmethathewouldbeveryproudofhowIhadgrown.Icouldn’twaittoshowhimhowtallandhowfastIwas,andtomakehimproud.TherewouldbetimeenoughforhimtolearnwhatanaughtyboyIreallywas.“Pöppendorf!IseePöppendorf!”Ishouted,pointingtoalargeplatformsurroundedbybarbedwire.IfeltsoproudthatIhadseenitfirst.Theotherchildrenjoinedmeatthewindowsasthetrainbegantoslowitschuggingpace.Martinwasnow15,Gerhard13,PeterandJürgen11;Iwas9,andFelicitas7.Thewheelsbeneathusbegantoscreamwithbrakefrictionaswerolledslowlytoastop.Metaremainedcalmlyinherseat.Sheknewthatthetimeforhappinesswould

betheactualmomentofseeingherhusband.Thereweremany,manyprocedurestoendurefirst.Wewerestillrefugees.Forsomereasonwecouldnotsimplybereleasedevenafterbeingdetainedforsolong.Theinternationalcommunityhadtoinflictonelastindignityuponus,forcingHermanntore-enteraprisoncampforourreunification.Itmusthavebeenhardforhimafterenjoyingrecentyearsoffreedom.Fatherhadbeenaprisonerofwar,acapturedsoldier.WhenhismilitaryservicerecordshadbeenproducedandexaminedbytheBritish,theysawthathehadneverjoinedtheNazipartyandhehadbeenreleased.Theironyforuswasthat,asciviliansrunningforourlivestoDenmark,wehadbeenincarceratedforalmostthreeyearslongerthanhehad.Sucharetheiniquitiesofwar.Finally,wewerebeingtransferredfromDenmarktoBritishcontrolatPöppendorf.Therewewouldhaveallofourreleasepaperworkprocessed.TheofficialsneededtoconfirmthatwewereindeedthefamilyfromStablackwhohadbeenseparatedfromHermannduringthefallofOstpreussenandthatwewereregisteredproperlywithallofthenewWestGermangovernmentagencies.InDenmarkwehadbeenreleasedfromthecamp,issuednewpapers,andshippedacrosstheBalticstraightstotheportofKiel.There,wehadboardedthistrainunderBritishguardandnowarrivedatPöppendorf.Itwasthemostfamous,orperhapsthemostinfamous,displacedpersonscamprunbytheBritisharmy.InPöppendorf,beforewearrived,theBritishhadconfinedthousandsofJewswhohadsurvivedtheBergenBelsendeathcamp.ThesedesperatepeoplehadtriedtoimmigrateillegallytoPalestineaboardashiptheycalledTheExodus.TheBritishnavyhadturnedtheshiparoundandforcedtheillegalstoreturntoGermany,confiningtheminPöppendorf.ThefirestormofworldopinionthatfollowedembarrassedtheBritishsobadlythattheyhadhastenedtoreleasetheJews.Thisembarrassmenthadalsoacceleratedsomethingquiteunanticipated.Aneventthatwouldforeverchangetheworld–theformationoftheJewishstateofIsraelinPalestine.MotherandFatherhadcorrespondedwithexcitementaboutthisgreatevent.OutofthehorrorsoftheHolocaust,GodseemedtobeorchestratingthefulfillmentofOldandNewTestamentprophecy.Inmanypassagesithadbeenwrittenthat

HewouldgatherHischosenpeoplefromtheendsoftheearthandestablishthemagaininthelandHehadpromisedtoAbraham,Isaac,andJacob.Wewereseeingthesewordsfulfilledinourtime.ItcreatedasensethatourswouldbethefinalgenerationbeforethecomingoftheLord.IheardthewordsofJesusquotedoften,asrecordedinMatthew,Mark,andLuke:VerilyIsayuntoyou,Thisgenerationshallnotpassaway,tillallbefulfilled.[5]AyearaftertheformationofIsrael,itwasourturntopassthroughthegatesofPöppendorf.Oncethere,ourpapersweredulystampedandnoted,ourbelongingssearched.WewereledtothesectionofbarrackswheretheytoldusHermannBonnkewouldbewaitingforus.Asthefinalbarbed-wiregatestohiscompoundwereunlocked,Iknewmytimehadcome.Ibrokefreeoftheothersandsprintedacrossthecommonyard,searchingamongtheothermenwhowerewaitingfortheirlovedones.Someofthemwereplayingsoccerandboardgames,othersstandingingroupstakinginthesun.IranasfastasmylegswouldcarrymeuntilIreachedthewallofaQuonsethutonthefarsideofthefield.ThereIturned,sidesheavingasIgaspedforoxygen.Ihadnotseenmyfather.Ihadsomehowmissedhim.Ilookedfranticallyrightandleft.“Reinhard!”IheardMothercall,afamiliarexasperationinhervoice.“Reinhard,getbackherenow!”WhenIturnedtolookbackfromwhenceIhadrun,therewasmyfathernearthegateonhisknees,huggingallofhischildren–minusone–thefastestBonnkeintheclan.Mydisappointmentwasquicklyoverwhelmedbydelight.Iracedbackandleapedonthepile,becomingthetippingpointthatthrewthewholebunchofthemtotheground.Hermannlayforawhileamonghischildren,laughingandcryingallatthesametime.Weeachhuggedanarm,aleg,historso,whateverwecouldfindforourselves.Wehuggedandlaughedandcriedwithhim,unabletouserealwordstosayjusthowwehadmissedhimandhowgladweweretoseehimagainandhowwelovedhimandadozenotherthingswehadbeensavinguptosayforalmostfourlongyears.Helaughedandhuggedusbackbecausehecouldnothelphimself.Andhecried,

perhapsbecauseherememberedthathewasthemanhisbuddieshadputonthelastminesweepertoleaveKönigsbergsohecouldbeherenow,withhiswifeandchildren,justlikethis.Andthosemenhadpaidwiththeirlives.Hehuggedeachofusthen,onebyone,andtoldushowproudhewasofus,remarkingathowwehadgrown.InthejoyandenergyofthisfamilyreunionIdidnotfindanopportunitytoshowhimjusthowfastIcouldrun.“Yousee,Reinhard,”Motherwassaying,“youdon’tlisten.Youalwayshaveyourownideas.IfIhadnotbeenhereyouwouldstillbewanderingaroundlookingforyourfatherinallthewrongplaces!”“Iknow,Mother.I’msorry.I’msorry.”

Chapter9

“Martin,youhavegrownsotallandsmart.AndGerhard,youarenotfarbehindhim.Nearlyastall.Icanhardlybelieveitisyou.Walkonyourhandsforme,Gerhard.Letmeseethattrickagain.”Gerhardquicklytiltedhimselfupandmadehiswayfromonewalloftheroomtotheother,walkingonhishands,hislegsabovehistorso.Atthefarwallheturnedandreturnedtotheplacefromwhichhehadstarted.ItwassomethinghehadtaughthimselftodowhileinthecampinDenmark.Fatherlaughedandclapped.WhenItriedtodoit,Ifellawkwardlytooneside.NomatterhowmanytimesItriedtobalance,Ifell.ButforGerharditseemedaseasyaswalkingupright.“Gerhardistheathleteofthisfamily,”Fathersaid.“Martin,youwillsoonbeoldenoughtojointhemilitary,butyouarenamedMartinforgoodreason.YouwillpreachthegospellikeMartinLutheroneday.”Fatherwentonjokingwithusandtellinguswhathefeltweshouldbecomeoneday.Nightafternight,eightBonnkeswerestuckinthesingleroomFatherhadfoundafterthewar.Wesharedthehousewithseveralotherfamilies.Evenworse,eachnightFatherseemedstuckonthesametopic.ThehappinessofourhomecomingseemedtobesuckedfromtheroomashetalkedaboutWorldWarII.“Wefoughtforourcountry,whichisanobleideal,butourcountryhadbeentakenoverbyHitlerandtheNazis.Theytookthegreatestmilitarytheworldhaseverseen,andtheywasteditforegoandinsanity.TheybetrayedeverythingGermanystoodfor,anditisnowondertheworldhatesus.Intheend,theSovietsoverranus,andnowanIronCurtaindividesGermanyintoEastandWest.ItdividesBerlinandmostofEurope.Thisiswhatourwaraccomplished,boys.YourGrandfatherAugustwaskilledbytheSovietswhentheycrushedEastPrussia.”“NowHerman,”Mothercautioned,“dothechildrenneedtohearthis?”

“Myboyswillsoonbeoldenoughtobecomesoldiers.BoysnaturallydreamofglorylikeIdid.Theyneedtoknowthetruth.WhentheSovietsoverranTrunztheywerefilledwithvengeance.Everyoneraninpanic.YourGrandfatherAugustwastoooldtokeepup,andthesoldierskickedhimandhithimagainandagainashetriedtotakeyourgrandmothertoatrainstation.GrandmotherMariewasbesideherself.Shecouldnotmakethemstop.Theydiditjustforsport,forvengeance.Still,Grandpamadeitwithherontothetrainwheretherewashardlyroomtostand.“Asthetrainpulledfromthestationandreachedfullspeed,hediedfromhisinjuriesandfelltothefloor.Thepassengershadnotoleranceforadeadpersononthattrain.EvenourownPrussianpeoplehadbecomeanimalsintheaftermathofthewar.SomeofthemheldMotherbackastheothersthrewhisbodyfromthewindowofthetrain.Thisishowmydearfatherendedhisdaysonearth.AndnowyoucanseewhatImeanwhenItellyou,warishell!”Wewerestunnedtosilenceanddeeplysaddened.Felicitaswascrying.“Whydidn’tGodprotectGrandfather?”Martinaskedsomberly.“IfHeprotectedus,whydidn’tHeprotecthim?”IttookamomentforFathertofindhisreply.“Thatisaveryhardquestion,Son.Ihavewonderedthatmyself.ButforquestionslikethistherewillbenoanswersuntilweareontheothersideandcanaskGodfacetoface.”ForMartin,thisanswerwasnotsatisfying.Heremaineddeeplytroubled.Myotherbrothersseemedtofollowhiscue.Asforme,Iembracedmyfather’sanswerwholeheartedly.Itbecamemyown.OnemightsayitwasbecauseIwasmerelytenyearsoldandmymindwaslessawareofthefulltragedyinvolved.Perhapsso,butIwilladdthatagreatblessingfollowedmychildlikefaith.Ablessingthathasreturneddividendsfortherestofmylife.TwelvemembersofourfamilyhadbeenmarvelouslypreservedthroughthefallofEastPrussia.Butforareasonnonecanexplain,thepatriarchoftheclan,myspiritualancestor,AugustBonnkewaslost.TomagnifyonetragiclossabovetwelvemiraclesofpreservationwouldseemtotarnishthejoyandmeaningofmyrelationshiptoGod.Byembracingmyfather’sfaithfulanswerIcouldremainopenandtrustingtowardaGodwhoIbelievedhadourverybest

interestsatheartinspiteofthethingswecouldnotunderstand.Ihaveneverimprovedonmyfather’sanswer.Tothisday,theunanswerablequestionsIleaveinGod’scapableandlovinghands.EveryeveninginGlückstadtwewerejammedintothatoneroomtosleepforthenight.TheBonnkechildrensharedblanketsonthefloorarrangedaroundtheonebedreservedforMotherandFather.Wewerecrowdedbuthappytobetogether.Atleastwewereoutoftheprisoncampandbreathingfreeairatlast.GlückstadtwasasmallporttownnearthemouthoftheElbeRiver.TheriveremptiednorthwardfromthetipofGermanyintotheNorthSea.ItsestuarywassituatedjustwestofthegreatpeninsulathatconnectedGermanytothemainlandmassofDenmark.

ArrivalinGlückstadtInfact,ourcity,whosesealdepicted“LadyLuck,”hadbeenfoundedin1617asthemaintradecenterfortheregion.Fiftyyearsbeforemyfamilymovedthere,processedmeatwasshippedregularlyfromGlückstadttoAmerica.Thishadkepttheportviablefordecades.Butinthebiggerpicturethetownhad“runoutofluck”indirectcompetitionwithahugetradingcenterupriver.Thelittleburgnowhadaninferioritycomplex.EspeciallyasitcompareditselftoHamburg,the

cityof1,500,000thatdominatedtheregion.ShipsfromtheportofHamburgchurnedtoandfromtheNorthSeaeveryday,passingthedocksatGlückstadtwithoutapause.Onlyafewlocalfishingvesselswereevertiedthere.PerhapsIwasespeciallyvulnerabletotheinferiorityofGlückstadt.Ibegantofeelitwithinmyself.NotjustbecauseofthesmallcityinwhichIlivedandthepainfulpovertyofmyrefugeefamily,andthefactthatIwasaverynaughtyboy–butforotherreasons,too.OurnewlifeinGlückstadthelddisappointmentsforme.Firstamongthemwasmyperformanceinschool.AstheBonnkechildrenenteredtheregularGermanschoolsystem,wediscoveredjusthowfarbehindwehadfallenintheDenmarkcamps.MuchoftheenergyIwouldratherhaveinvestedinplayingchildhoodgamesnowhadtobefocusedonextrahoursofstudytomakeupforlosttime.Evenso,Ididnotseemtoovercomethissetbackasquicklyandsuccessfullyasmyolderbrothersdid.Theywereenergeticstudents.Atthehomeworktabletheywrangledaboutthenuancesofalgebra,trigonometry,andcalculus.Theydebatedhistoryandsocialsciences,biologyandphysics.Andtheirimprovinggradesreflectedtheirefforts.SoontheywonhighpraisesfromMotherandFather.ItwasallendlesslyGreektome.MybrothersseemedtosoaracademicallywhileIploddedlikeanearthboundfarmersowingacademicseedsthatwouldnotbearfruitformanyseasonstocome.Everyclasswashardworkforme,buttherewasoneclassIdetestedaboveallothers–English.“Mother,Father,whyshouldIhavetolearnEnglish?IamGerman.”Theytriedtotellmethatitwasn’tformetoquestionwhy.ItwasarequiredcourseinallofGermanynow.Ihadtodoit,andIwouldbeheldaccountabletodoitwell,likemyolderbrothers.EverydayinschooltheteacherwoulddictatewordsinEnglish.Weobtainedastandardworkbookfromthelocalbookstoreandfilledinthedictationonblankpages.Whenthebookwasfilledweweregivenafinaltest.Wordswereplacedontheblackboardthatweweretotranslateandwriteonourfinalpage.OnthedayofthetestIwrotemyanswersinanger.Intruth,IknewthatIwas

guessing.IsimplydidnotknowtherulesoftheEnglishlanguage.SoIwroteoutoffrustrationandturnedinmytestbeforeanyotherstudentintheroomhadfinished.Ithenmadeashowofhandinginmybooklettotheteacherbeforeanyoftheothersandbeingallowedtogooutandplayontheplayground.Whatashallowvictory,doomedtobackfireandmakethingsworse.ThenextdayIwasnotsurprisedtoseemyworkbookfilledwithredmarks.Theteacher’scommentaryonmyworkwasnotcomplimentary.EventhoughIknewitwascoming,Iwascrushed.AsIplacedthatbookinmybagandbegantowalkhome,IknewthatMotherandFatherwouldseeitandIwouldhavetoanswerformyfailure.ThemoreIwalkedtheheavierthatbagbecame.Finally,theweightofitslowedmetostopinfrontoftheGlückstadtbookstore.That’swhenawonderfulthoughtcametome.Icouldbuyanewworkbookusingmylunchmoney.Icouldexchangeitfortheoldone.IwouldnothavetoanswertoMom,Dad,andmybrothersformymistakes.Itooktheworkbookfilledwiththeaccusingredmarksandthrewitintoatrashbarrel.Inthisway,IbecamefoolishlikeAdamintheGardenofEden,usingafigleaftocovertheawfultruth.Everythoughtinmyheadaboutschoolhurt.Itweighedonmelikeaheavyyoke.IcouldnotsucceedandIcouldnotescape.Nowmysinfulwhitewashmadetheburdenofitseemevenheavier.Addingtotheload,IsoondiscoveredtheintensescornthatLutheranschoolchildrenhadforPentecostalchildren.OnatypicalSunday,ourfatherwouldbegonebeforesunuponhisbicycle,travelingtoministerinKrempe.Wecouldnotaffordanotherbicycle,sononeofuswentwithhim.WeattendedthelocalPentecostalcongregation.ThePentecostalbelieversinGlückstadtmetinasmallschoolroombehindtheLutheranchurch.WhenwewereseenleavingourhumblemeetingsintheshadowofthegreatLutheransteeple,thenewsquicklyspreadthattheBonnkesweretonguestalkers.Theteasingbegan.Anditwasmorethanteasing.Pentecostalswereseenasprimitivepeople,religiousNeanderthals,aknuckle-draggingsectthatonlyexistedbecauseofitsignorance.ThisgavetheLutheranchildrenlicensetocalluseverynameinthebook.

AsaboyIhadnorealargumenttomakeinourfavor.Infact,ourfaithdidnotspringfromaseminarytextbook,abaptism,acatechism,oraconfirmationceremony.Rather,bothsalvationandthebaptismoftheHolySpiritcamefromadirectandpowerfulencounterwithGod.BythatexperiencetheWordofGodbecamealiveforus,andwewereguidedtothetruthofScripturethroughourspiritualrelationship,ratherthanbythestudyoftheology,orchurchhistory,orreligioustraditions.OurkindofreligionbypassedallthattheLutheransseemedtoholddear,andwewerepunishedforit.Wewereconsideredunworthyofsocialstanding.Irememberhowallofourwomenworeplainclothesandnojewelryandtheynevercuttheirhair,wearingitinanunstylishbunatthebackoftheirheads.ThiswasdoneaspartoftheholinessheritagethathadbeenthecradleofPentecostalsworldwide.Holinessstandardsdemandedthatbelieverslookandtalkandactdifferentlyfromtherestoftheworldasatestimonytothetruenatureoftheirfaith.So,inthelittletownwithaninferioritycomplex,wePentecostalswerebelowthebottomfeeders.Wewerequitevisibleandgavethelocalresidentssomethingtolookdownupon.Myolderbrotherssimplyroseaboveit.Theycontinuedtoexcelinschoolwinningpraisesfromtheirteachers.AccusationsofPentecostalignorancesimplywouldnotsticktothem.Whiletheyresentedtheteasingfromtheirclassmates,intheirheartstheybegantodealwithevenmoredifficulttensions.Pentecostalpracticeandtheclaimsofeducationwenttowarintheirsouls.Thismeantthatatchurchtheymightbetraytheiracademicbeliefsundertheinfluenceofaguilt-inducingsermon.Thenagain,atschooltheymightbetraytheirPentecostalfaithwhenitseemedtofallshortoftherationalargumentsofscience.ThiswasadilemmaIcametounderstandmuchlaterinlifebecauseIdidnotshareitatthetime.AnythingIencounteredatschoolorfromclassmatesorintextbooksthatwentcontrarytomyPentecostalheritagewasdiscardedwithoutseriousconsideration.Ifeltthepainofrejectionkeenly,butinthosedaysIneverrespondedtoitbyconsideringthatanythingaboutPentecostalismcouldbewrongatall.Father’scongregationinKrempebegantogrow,buttheywerestillagroupof

poorrefugeefamilieswhocouldleavelittleinanofferingplate.ItseemsthenewchancellorofWestGermany,KonradAdenauer,hadpassedalawallowingsoldiersoftheReichswehrtoretireearlyandreceiveapensionforlife.Attheageof44,myfatherhadtakenadvantageofthatlaw,believingthatwastheprovisionofGodtofundhisministryinKrempe.Motherthoughtitallsoundedtoogoodtobetrue.Shedidnottrustthegovernmenttofollowthroughonitspromisetopaythepension.Howwouldtheyraiseenoughtaxestosupportsuchathingafterthewar?OnadayIshallneverforget,thepostmanarrivedwithexceedinglygoodnews.Hehandedheragovernmentenvelopecontainingthefirstpensioncheckfor799deutschmarks.Sherippeditopen,shoutingpraisestoGod.Shedancedaroundtheroomandinsistedongivingthepostmantwodeutschmarksasatip.Ihadneverseensuchadisplayofgenerosityinmylife.Almostimmediately,shesatdownandwroteapostcardaddressedtoherparents,ErnstandMinna,nowlivinginNeu-Ulm.Shewasveryeagertoannouncethegoodnews.TensionsbetweentheBonnkesandtheSchefflersoverFather’schoicetoenterthefull-timeministryhadgrowninrecentmonths.Objectionscenteredonthelackofareliableincometosupportafamilywithsixchildren.Now,thatobjectionwasgone.Wewouldbeabletomovefromtheoneroomthatweshared.MotherreassuredherparentsthatregardlessoftheamountofsalarythelittlechurchinKrempecouldpaytheirpastor;Hermannwouldbesupportedfortherestofhislifebecauseofhislong-standingserviceintheReichswehr.Somethingthathadbeenaheavyburdenforhimhadbeentransformedintoablessing.MothergaveallthegloryforthisbenefittoGod.Asaresult,somethingwasintroducedintotheBonnkehouseholdwithwhichIhadlittlepriorknowledge.Money!Andsoon,tomyten-year-oldmind,moneybecamenearlysynonymouswithchocolate.Thismoney-for-chocolaterelationshipbeganwhenIaccompaniedMothertodohershoppingoneday.IsawhertakeaportionofFather’smoneyfromherpursetopayformeat,bread,vegetables,dishandlaundrysoap,andasmallamountof

chocolatecandy.Themoney,itseemedtome,wasliketherationcouponswehadusedinthecampinDenmark,exceptthatthechoicesinDenmarkhadneverincludedchocolate.Motherbroughtallthegrocerieshomeandcookedthemforsupper.Thenfordessert,withaglowonherface,shecarefullyrationedaportionofchocolatecandytoeachofhersixchildren.ThiswaslikegettingChristmasinJuly!SuchluxurieshadsimplyneverbeenaffordedsincewehadleftourhomeinStablack.AsIbitintothechocolateIexperiencedarevelation.Whatmarveloussensationwasthis?Mytastebudshadneverbeensoturnedon.Theflavorwentallovermewithasenseofdeliciouswell-being.Lifeseemedtoconsistofmanythingsthatweredifficultanddullandtedious,likeschoolandhomeworkandchores.Butnowtherewaschocolate.Isimplyneededtohavemoneytohavemoreofit.Thesolutionbecamequitecleartome.Motherhadplentyofmoneyinherpurse.Moneywasnowreadilyavailabletoourfamily.Anditwasfree.Shehadgivenawaytwodeutschmarkstothepostman,hadn’tshe?Aportionofchocolatewouldcostevenless.Shewouldnotmisssuchasmallportionofmoneyfromherpurse.ThoughIwasmerelyanaveragestudent,Iimmediatelybecamemotivatedtoachieveatmath.Well,atleastthekindofmathnecessarytocalculatetheproperamountofdeutschmarksnecessarytobuyanindividualportionofcandy.OnceIhadthisfiguredout,allIhadtodowaswaituntilMotherhadabandonedherpurseinthebedroomandretrievetheexactamountfromherchangewallet.Alittlehere,alittlethere.Once,twice,threetimesoverthenextseveralweeksImanagedtofindtherightamountofchange.Justafewpennies.Itresultedinatripdowntowntoobtainthepurejoyofaveryintenseandpersonalchocolateexperience.Oh,howIsavoredit!AndhowIwasfilledwithasenseofbeingwealthy.Andfinally,thedaycamewhenItookafulldeutchmarkfromherpurse.InmyheartIknewIwaswrong.Atthestore,asIfinishedmychocolatepleasure,Ibegantofeelasenseofguiltgnawingatmyinsides.Iwalkedfromthatplace,andImadeaguilt-bornvow:“OnedayIwillrepayMomma100deutschmarkstomakeupforthemoneyIstole.ThatiswhatIwilldo.”

Howdomothersdoit?Howdotheyknow?Wheredotheylearntheexquisiteartoftiming?MyhandwaswellintoherpursewhenIheardhervoicebehindmeinthegloomofthebedroom.“Reinhard,whatareyoudoing?”Iwithdrewmyhandasifamousetraphadjustsnappedonmyfingers.“Nothing,Mother.Nothing.”ThiswastechnicallynotaliesinceIhademergedfromherpursewithnothinginmyhand.Somehow,however,IknewthatwhatIhadbeendoingwasmuchmorethannothing,anditwasvery,verywrong,andIwasabouttogetthehidingofmylife.WhichIpositivelydeserved.Iwashopelesslynaughty.Motherturnedthelightonintheroom.Shestoodtherethoughtfullyforalongmomentdecidinghowshewouldhandlemytransgression.Thenslowlyanddeliberately,shecametositonthebed.Everymomentofthisprocesswaspuretorture.Openingherpurseshelookedinside.Thechangewalletwasopen.“Reinhard,haveyoubeenstealingmoneyfrommywallet?”“No,Momma.Idon’tknowwhattheothershavebeendoingwithit.”Iwantedtopasstheblameontomybrothers.Pattingthebedbesideher,sheindicatedthatshewantedmetositdown.Idid.“Lookatme,Reinhard.”Thiswasmuchworsethanahiding.IlookedintotheeyesofthewomanImostlovedandrespectedintheworldandknewIhadbetrayedher.Mypulseraced.Itpoundedinmytemples,fueledbythefoulvinegarofshame.“Reinhard,youknowthatyouhavedisappointedmeagain.”“Yes,Mother.Iknow.”

“Ihavebeenmissingmoneyfrommywalletbefore.Haveyoudonethisbefore?”Ittookjustabitofmentalreviewingtoproperlygetthisreplytocomeoutofmymouth.Iheavedasigh.“Yes,Mother.”“Iamsodisappointed.Butnow,Iamevenmoreworried.Itisonethingtomisbehave,butitisanothertobeasinner.DoyouknowthatwhatyouhavedoneisasinbeforeGod?It’scalledstealing.”Actually,Ihadn’tthoughtofitquiteasstealing.Ihadseenitasawayofgetting–well,sortof“sneaking”chocolate.Butnowthatshementionedit,therewasnodenyingthatwhatIhaddoneshouldbecalledstealing.Ihadtakenhermoney.Purelyandsimply.Inodded.“Thoushaltnotsteal.ItisoneoftheTenCommandments.”Inoddedagain.IhadmemorizedtheTenCommandments.Iknewthembyheart.“WhenwebreakGod’slaw,itissin,Reinhard.Youareasinner,andIamworriedaboutyoubecausesinnersgotohellforalleternity.”Thepain