Listening beyond the words
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Transcript of Listening beyond the words
Listening Beyond the Words
Change Your Emotion Change the Outcome
Meaning (you give to events) = emotions = quality of life
Mastery of Listening to your Feelings and Others Feelings
1.Identify your feelings (People your dealing with usually have those same feelings)
2.Identify your judgments (rude, loving, ignorant, brilliant, etc..)
3.Identify how you have those same traits4.Identify the needs
(What they really want you to hear)5.Observe without judgment6.Enjoy Your Connection
THE FUTURE OF MEASLES IN HIGHLY IMMUNIZED POPULATIONS A MODELING APPROACH
American Journal of EpidemiologyVolume 120, Issue 1, 1983Pp. 39-48. AbstractLittle is known about how an intensive measles elimination program changes the overall immune status of the population. A computer model was created to study the effect of the measles elimination program in the United States on the number of susceptibles in the population. The simulation reveals that in the prevaccine era, approximately 10.6% of the population was susceptible to measles, most of whom were children less than 10 years of age. With the institution of the measles immunlzation program, the proportion of susceptibles in the population fell to 3.1% from 1978 through 1981 , but then began to rise by approximately 0.1% per year to reach about 10.9% in the year 2050. The susceptibies at this time were distributed evenly throughout all age groups. The model did not consider the potential effect of waning immunity. The results of this study suggest that measles elimination in the United States has been achieved by an effective immunization program aimed at young susceptibles combined with a highly, naturally immunized adult population. However, despite short-term success in eliminating the disease, long-range projections demonstrate that the proportion of susceptibies in the year 2050 may be greater than in the prevaccine era. Present vaccine technology and public health policy must be altered to deal with this eventuallty.
that in the prevaccine era, approximately 10.6% of the
population was susceptible to measles, most of whom
were children less than 10 years of age. With the
institution of the measles immunlzation program, the
proportion of susceptibles in the population fell to 3.1%
from 1978 through 1981
, but then began to rise by approximately 0.1% per year to reach about 10.9% in the year
2050
The results of this study suggest that measles elimination in the United States has been achieved by an effective immunization program aimed at young susceptibles combined with a highly, naturally immunized adult population. However, despite short-term success in eliminating the disease, long-range projections demonstrate that the proportion of susceptibies in the year 2050 may be greater than in the prevaccine era. Present vaccine technology and public health policy must be altered to deal with this eventuallty.
World Economic Forum (WEF) Switzerland
Mindfulness. and mindful leadership were discussed at the WEF for the first time.
New challenges: leaders are facing more situations that require them to access their self-awareness and emotional intelligence in order to be successful.
New science: impact of mindfulness on brain plasticity.
scientist Richard Davidson puts it: Even a few hours of meditation can change the epigenetics of our brain.
access their self-a
wareness and
emotional intellig
ence in order to be
successful.
If you haven’t mastered each area of your life someone else will
•Romance•Finances•Health•Spiritual•Business/Career•Recreation•Physical Environment•Personal Growth
1. You Have a Choice2. You have the Power to make a decision
What is your Judgment?
•How are or have you been educated to think
•Have you been educated to connect to your needs
Depressed or sad do you judge your self for being depressed “I’m a failure, I’m not motivated, I’m stupid, I’m not respected”
Thousands of Years of training
Experiences that we have shapes the way the brain is structured
Thinking and feeling = emotion is a chemical change in your body
Ancient Proverb:If you meet 3 jerks in a day then you are
the jerk!
Learning + Repetition = Reprogramming
“A Memory with out the emotional charge is called wisdom… “
Dr Joe Dispenza
Conscious mindFilled by Choices
Unconscious mindProgrammed by
repetition
Sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing
Body’s Response
Criticism Blame Judgment are just a way to say Please
He/she is Rude
He Insulted me
My brother blames me for making him angry
She/He makes Harsh comments to me
With NVC you will never hear Criticism Blame Judgment
You will hear only Please or Thank You
You Never ListenYou don’t care
New EducationWrongness or Rightness
No More Right or WrongNo PunishmentNo Reward
2 dangerous words:DeserveShould
It Is a Violent act to imply that others can say
something that can hurt you
It hurts me when you say…
You make me so Angry
You treat me like Sh&*
1.Write Down 5 traits that you don’t like: (Rude, don’t listen, ignorant, close minded, etc…)
2.Write Down how you have those same 5 traits:(Rude, don’t listen, ignorant, close minded, etc…)
How to deal effectively with challenging people
3.Write Down 5 traits that you do like: (Confident, good communication, witty, etc…)
4.Write Down how you have those same 5 traits:(Confident, good communication, witty, etc…)
Happiness•Experience•Accomplishment•Sensual Pleasure•Material Possessions•Physical Appearance•Financial Success•Solitude
Successful•Self Development•Achievement•Recognition•Material Possessions•Popularity•Personal Freedom •Creativity
Highest Values - Inspired
Lowest Values - Motivation
Highest ValuesSupport = Challenges
Inspirationa force from within
Motivationminimize physical pain and maximize pleasure
Highest ValuesSupport = Challenges
Values/Priorities:•spend $•spend Time•Fill your space•Passionate about•Disciplined about•Most organized•Energizes You •Visualize the Most
“..Victims of your History not masters of your destiny” Dr John Demartini
The Universe Will BalanceOut of Balance Won’t Last
Highest ValuesSupport = Challenges
“She/He is Perfect”
“This Job is Perfect”
Arnold Works Out All the Time
D. 54 yo mom who lost her son 4 years ago
When you have dealt with a loss effectively then you are only left with love and gratitude
Feeling = your conscious awareness of your Chemical production or neuronal
firings
Body = a massive energy that is the expression of your consistent Chemical
production and neuronal firings
“How are you feeling?” “I’m consciously aware of being emotionally involved with an idea or memory there fore I’ve moved into a neuronal firing that is producing a chemical response so my body is actually living a past memory right now called a feeling”
New Definitions
“I’m Feeling” = a ChemicalBehind Every Feeling there is a NEED
•“are you feeling sad because your needing… to be understood•“are you feeling angry because your needing… to be heard•“are you feeling frustrated because your needing…connection
I feel hurt when you say..I feel insulted when you say..
Observation: description of “what’s actually happening” as reported by our senses
The highest form of human intelligence. “To observe without judgment”
•sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell•“inner” senses = our inner voice, vision, thoughts• “Just the facts.”
Observation vs. Observation Mixed with Evaluation“Your too sensitive” , “Your judgmental”
good~bad, right~wrong, appropriate~inappropriate
“Can you tell me what you think is the challenge you have in communication”•YEAH HE HAS A BIG MOUTH•HE TALKS TO MUCH/TO LITTLE
FeelingBehind Every Feeling there is a NEED
•Feelings are universal!! • NEVER ask “how are you feeling”
instead go fishing• NEVER are you feeling hurt because “of what I said”
•“are you feeling sad because your needing… to be understood•“are you feeling angry because your needing… to be heard•“are you feeling frustrated because your needing…connection
I feel hurt when you say..I feel insulted when you say..
Feelings when your needs are met •Enthusiastic•Fulfilled•Compassionate•Fascinated •Friendly•Interested• invigorated• peace•Loving• intrigued• lively• encouraged• quiet•open hearted•Passionate•Optimistic•relaxed
•sympathetic •surprised •Stimulated•vibrant •amused •Satisfied•Warm •Delighted•Serene•Blissful• glad•empowered •Awed• ecstatic• happy• tranquil•open
•wonder •Elated •Trusting•Proud •Safe• amazed• exuberant• tickled •Enlivened•Secure• animated• radiant •Rejuvenated•Absorbed• aroused •Thrilled• comfortable
Feelings when your needs are not met•burnt out •Hopeless•Apprehensive•removed •depleted •uninterested •exhausted• withdrawn •Unhappy•Frightened•Disgusted•Agitated•sleepy •Alarmed•Anxious•Petrified• horrified •weary cranky•scared
•Suspicious•Repulsed•terrified •Edgy•Fidgety•Worried •Bewildered•Irritable•Aggravated •Heartbroken •Overwhelmed•Uncomfortable•miserable •stressed out•Frustrated•Regretful•puzzled
•Fragile•Irritated•Guarded•depressed •Helpless•Alienated•Insecure•Despair•Apathetic•Distracted•Jealous•Indifferent•longing
Request An opportunity to contribute to the well-being of
ourselves and/or others
• A concrete offering with the intention of contributing to fulfilling a need.• Requests are specific actions stated in the positive (what we DO want).• Immediately doable.• There are three types of requests:A.ActionB.Feed BackC.Clarity
Request vs Demand• Demands include a threat of punishment•the promise of reward linked to a behavior
Request vs Wish• Wishes tend to be vague, future oriented, and non-specific
Must be able to Accept a NO
NVC Non-Violent Communication
Observation = what do you actually see/hear/happened (without judgment)Feelings = What you feel (only your feelings)Needs = clear and concise (Not feeling better) Request = Clear (and be ok with a "no" answer)
People only want to communicate Please or Thank You
won't take the garbage out
“You are more energy than mater, and energy can’t be created or destroyed so the power that holds you together has been around since the dawn of time” “When you walk by a mirror you’d better smile”
Old atom model Quantum atom model
The New Health Care System
Giving Advice
•A Violation or immoral if not asked for
•Always ask permission:•“would you be open to some different information or input on”…• (vaccines, medications, how to do the dishes, diet changes,….)
37 yo womanJoint pain, anxiety, back and neck pain, can’t sleep•Lost a Child from an auto accident
Mastery of Listening to your Feelings and Others Feelings
1.Identify your feelings (People your dealing with usually have those same feelings)
2.Identify your judgments (rude, loving, ignorant, brilliant, etc..)
3.Identify how you have those same traits4.Identify the unmet needs
(What they really want you to hear)5.Observe without judgment6.Enjoy Your Connection
Proper nerve supply – Get Checked for Subluxation
Regular Exercise (Daily)
Proper Nutrition (B-3, Vit C)
Sufficient Rest (Every night)
Prayer and Meditation
Keys to Restore & maintain health
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NVC Non-Violent Communication
Observation = what do you actually see/hear/happened (without judgment)
Feelings = What you feel (only your feelings)
Needs = clear and concise (Not feeling better) Request = Clear (and be ok with a "no" answer)
“A Memory with out the emotional charge is called wisdom… “ Dr Joe Dispenza
say the opposite or antithesis is true or replace “they/she/he/you” with “I”
How do you know the new belief is true? “they are rude….. I am rude” “He/She is not listening…I am not listening”“He/She is so negative …I’m so negative”
Turn Around Your Limiting BeliefsWhen dealing with Others (spouse,etc)
Look in the Mirror