LifeWay Press®

LifeWay Press®Nashville, Tennessee

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PRODUCTION TEAM

Writer:

Mike Mack

Editorial Project Leader:

Brian Daniel

Art Director & Designer:

Heather Wetherington

Content Editor:

Brian Gass

Production Editor:

Megan Hamby

Video Director:

Kyle Lollis

Video Producer:

Rick Simms

Director, Adult Ministry:

Faith Whatley

Director, Adult Ministry Publishing:

Philip Nation

Published by LifeWay Press®

© 2013 David C. Cook

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to LifeWay Small Groups; One LifeWay Plaza;

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ISBN: 9781415877920

Item: 005558784

Dewey Decimal

Classification Number: 152.1

Subject Heading: SUFFERING \ PAIN \ JOY

AND SORROW

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quotations are taken from the Holman

Christian Standard Bible®, copyright ©

1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Holman Bible

Publishers. Used by permission. Scripture

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CONTENTSAbOUT ThE AUThOR 4

INTRODUCTION 5

hOW TO UsE ThIs sTUDy 6

1 sUffERINg Is REAL 8

2 MORALIzINg sUffERINg 26

3 MINIMIzINg sUffERINg 44

4 ThE fREEDOM Of DEfEAT 62

5 ThE gOsPEL Of sUffERINg 80

6 WEIghTy MERCIEs 98

LEADER gUIDE 116

gROUP DIRECTORy 128

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Tullian Tchividjian is the senior pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. In addition, he is a seminary pro-fessor, popular platform speaker, and author of several books and articles.

A South Florida native, Tullian is the grandson of Ruth and Billy Graham. He is a graduate of Columbia International University, where he earned a degree in philosophy, and Reformed Theological Seminary, where he earned his Master of Divinity. Tullian was the founding pastor of the former New City Church, which merged with Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in 2009. Tullian is also the founder of Liberate, a content ministry devoted to connecting God’s inexhaustible grace to an exhausted world through books, articles, media, music, and an annual conference.

Tullian speaks at conferences throughout the United States and his sermons are broadcast on the radio. Additionally, Tullian is a contributing editor of Leadership Journal, and has authored The Kingdom of God: A Primer on the Christian Life; Do I Know God? Finding Certainty in Life’s Most Important Relationship; Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different; Surprised by Grace: God’s Relentless Pursuit of Rebels; Jesus + Nothing = Everything, and Glorious Ruin: How Suffering Sets You Free.

Tullian and his wife, Kim, have three children and reside in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

Check out Tullian’s website at www.liberatenet.org or follow him on Twitter @ PastorTullian.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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InTROdUcTIOnWelcome to Glorious Ruin!

That’s an exciting introduction for a book on suffering, I know. Before we go too far with the good news, though, here’s the bad news: Everybody suffers. Suffering is suffering, and it is universal. Many people like to think of suffering in terms of the big D’s: death, disease, divorce, and the like. But suffering affects us in so many other ways that are sometimes less obvious but no less real. And sadly the ways in which we cope with pain, loss, and tragedy often make the problems worse.

In this study through the Book of Job we will explore how the reality of human suffering, in all its forms, relates to the truth of God’s liberating grace in a way that is both honest and comforting. Glorious Ruin will not seek to answer the Why or How of suffering, but it will help you to discover the Who in the midst of suffering. For the life of the believer, one thing is beautifully and abundantly true: God’s chief concern in your suffering is to be with you and be Himself for you.

In other words, our ruin may not ultimately spell our undoing. In fact it may spell the beginning of faith. And in the end, that is enough. Gloriously so.

Tullian

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How to Use tHis stUdyWelcome to this 6-week experience on suffering and its redemption through Christ. This study can be used for small-group or personal study, but you will obviously benefit most from doing the study together in a group of people. Before you get started, here is some helpful information about the different elements you’ll encounter within the study.

InTROdUcTIOn

Each session begins with a narrative overview of the weekly topic. You will probably want to read this before your group meets so that you’ll better understand the topic and the context for your time together. Leaders may also summarize for those who might not have read it.

GETTInG sTARTEd

Your actual group time will most likely begin here with an icebreaker that is designed to help you ease into the study and get everyone talking. Questions set the table for the topic as well as allowing members to share how God spoke to them through their personal study time the week before.

VIdEO dIscUssIOn

The DVD contains teaching related to each session, as well as a testimony from people who have experienced various kinds of suffering. Each video session is accompanied by discussion questions designed to build your faith.

BIBlE sTUdy

This section will help your group dive into Scripture and further discuss how God’s Word applies to your lives concerning the topic for each session. It is God’s Word that brings about real change in people’s lives.

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WRAp

This section includes a lesson summary and a reflection or challenge to live faithfully in the area of study for this session. A suggested prayer is included or you may choose to pray together in a format that your group is used to.

nOTEs

A notes page is provided at the end of the Bible study for group members to jot down thoughts from the Scripture, video, or group discussion.

pERsOnAl TImE

This section is designed for you to continue your growth at home. Each per-sonal study session includes Scripture, questions, and material for you to digest to promote continued growth. These can be done every other day, or perhaps in one day each week as a concentrated personal retreat. The first two are more devotional in nature. The third is more of a missional challenge. And the fourth is reflective with questions to take to your own heart and to God.

lEAdER GUIdE

The Leader Guide helps you prepare for each session and the study as a whole. Tips are included for setting up your meeting place and following up with group members. Answers to the fill-in-the-blanks are also included to help in the Video Discussion phase.

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sUffering is real

s e s s i o n n o . | 1

8 GLORIOUS RUIN

.....

WE dOn’T nEEd AnsWERs As mUcH As WE nEEd GOd’s pREsEncE In And THROUGH OUR sUffERInG.

for many, the 2012 christmas season was clouded with pain and sorrow. The East coast was still digging out and cleaning up from Hurricane sandy. The nation was stunned after a gunman killed 20 children and six adults at sandy Hook Elementary school in newtown, conn. just 11 days before christmas. Then, on christmas Eve, a gunman ambushed firefighters in Webster, new york, killing two of them.

Those who have faced the pain and sorrow of life will readily agree: suffering is inevitable and suffering is serious. It is universal. Everyone is suffering in some way right now. Perhaps your current suffering is the result of a tragic event or maybe yours is the result of heartbreak, job loss, or a wayward teen-ager. Perhaps your situation is relatively innocuous: a harshly worded email, a few extra pounds on the scale, or an unexpected bill. All of this is suffering, and it all points to the fact that the world is not as it should be!

How do we make sense of suffering? Speaking specifically about the school shooting in Newtown, Michael Gerson wrote, “There are no easy philosophic or theological explanations for unnatural death—no greater, cosmic good that neatly justifies unfair suffering.” 1 It’s natural for us to ask the why questions when we face trials and painful life cir-cumstances, but information is seldom enough to heal a broken heart. Instead, we must look at the Who in our suffering. We don’t need answers as much as we need God’s presence in and through our suffering.

In this session, we will be discussing the reality and gravity of human suffering. We will be learning how to live with the fact that suffering is inevitable and serious, and how to suffer honestly.

week ONe : SUffeRING IS ReaL 9

G e t t i n g S t a r t e d

These questions are intended to help your group engage the topic and allow each group member to participate from the start.

Discuss:

In the first chapter of the Book of Job, the main character is introduced to the reader. Of course, many books begin this way. If there were a book with your name as the title, how would you like to be introduced in the first paragraph?

Think back to the events mentioned in the introductory section of this session—Hurricane Sandy, the Sandy Hook shooting, and the New York firefighter ambush. Or, consider tragic events that have occurred more recently in the news. How did you react? what emotions do you remember feeling at the time? what did you learn about suffering from these events?

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Video sessions available for purchase at www.lifeway.com/GloriousRuin

V i d e o D i s c u s s i o n

View session 1 on the Glorious Ruin dVd. Use the space below to jot down any notes you might have.

The Reality of suffering (15:00)

1. Life is more than it is easy, more than fun.

2. When we face suffering, the most natural question we ask is .

3. What we find in the Book of Job is the answer to the .

4. God never answers their .

5. The Who always the why, how, and what.

Discuss:

would you agree with Tullian that life is really more hard than it is easy? why or why not? In the video, Tullian says, “He is God and we are not.” why can that be a significant realization in the midst of our suffering? Like Topher, how has suffering impacted your life? How have you dealt with that?


BiBlE STudy

The Book of Job is not religious fiction. Ezekiel 14:14,20 and James 5:11 confirm that. Job was a real man facing real loss and suffering. His story is included in the Bible to reveal to us the truth about real-world problems in life and how we as followers of God can understand them.

The first chapter of Job introduces us to this man, and one of the first things we learn about him is that he was “a man of perfect integrity, who fears God and turns away from evil” (v.8). He was also very wealthy and successful. He had it all. This was no random, ordinary guy; he was known as “the greatest man among the peoples of the East” (v.3). Job and his wife had ten children, seven sons and three daughters, whom Job loved very much. When they celebrated birthdays together, Job’s custom was to make a sacrifice for them, just in case any of them sinned during the parties. God noticed Job’s integ-rity, but so did Satan.

Read Job 1:8-12.

Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My

servant Job? No one else on earth is like him, a man of

perfect integrity, who fears God and turns away from

evil.” 9 Satan answered the LORD, “Does Job fear God for

nothing? 10 Haven’t You placed a hedge around him, his

household, and everything he owns? You have blessed the

work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in

the land. 11 But stretch out Your hand and strike everything

he owns, and he will surely curse You to Your face.”

12 “Very well,” the LORD told Satan, “everything he owns

is in your power. However, you must not lay a hand

on Job himself.” So Satan left the LORD’s presence.

If this were a court case, who would be on trial? who would be the prosecuting attorney and the defense? who would be the judge?

12 GLORIOUS RUIN

How does this analogy of a court case help you better understand Job?

God made what amounts to a legal contract with Satan. God agreed to allow Satan to test Job and his faith. First, God allowed Satan to take away every-thing that was special to Job, including his children. Some might argue that for all his integrity and righteousness, Job’s “reward” was severe loss, just so God could prove to Satan that Job was a good man. What do you think of that? How does it make you feel?

Remember that this heavenly meeting took place without Job’s knowledge. When the consequences of this meeting began playing themselves out tragically in Job’s life, he had no clue to the spiritual reasons why. We can learn something from Job’s experience here: We do not know what is taking place in the spiritual realm that may be contributing to what is happening in our lives. Like Job, all we can do is take life as it comes to us, with faith and trust, regardless of the circumstances.

After the meeting between God, His angels, and Satan took place, Satan got busy. One by one, four different messengers came to Job, giving him the bad news of his losses: his oxen and donkeys, his sheep, his camels, and all of the servants who were tending to them. Finally, the worst of the news came: all ten of Job’s dear children were suddenly taken from his life. How would Job respond to such catastrophic loss?

Read Job 1:20-22.

Then Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell

to the ground and worshiped, 21 saying:

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will leave this life.

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.

Praise the name of Yahweh.


BiBlE STudy

22 Throughout all this Job did not sin

or blame God for anything.

How specifically did Job respond to his loss?

How would you have responded?

Because of Job’s great wealth and influence, as well as the enormity of his loss, we may have a difficult time relating to Job. The point of the story, how-ever, is not to compare the size of Job’s losses to ours, because that can lead us to minimize our own suffering. Rather, we can relate to Job’s suffering as a condition common to man and become more honest in our own suffering.

Religious people in particular have a tough time being honest about their suffering. There are at least six barriers that we sometimes put up to suffering honestly:

1. Minimizing our suffering by comparing it to others. Example: “I’m having a bad day, but at least I don’t have .”

2. Establishing time limits on our suffering. Example: “You should be over this by now.”

3. Declaring certain “rules” for suffering “correctly.” Example: “Real men don’t cry.”

4. Equating an admission of suffering with a lack of faith. Example: In a group setting we say, “My wife and I are struggling, but we know iron sharpens iron” so that others do not question our faith in the midst of our struggles.

14 GLORIOUS RUIN

5. Equating suffering with punishment. Example: “God must be pun-ishing me, because I .”

6. A narrative of self-improvement. Example: “I used to , but then I met Jesus and now I’m ,” reducing the good news to its results.

All of these are ways of dealing with suffering through what Martin Luther called a “theology of glory” rather than the “theology of the cross.”

Theologies of glory: Approaches to life that try in various ways to mini-mize difficult and painful things, or to move past them rather than looking them square in the face and accepting them.

Theology of the cross: An approach to life that accepts the difficult thing rather than immediately trying to change it or use it. It looks directly into pain and “calls a thing what it is” instead of calling evil good and good evil. It identifies God as “hidden in [the] suffering.”2

Look at the six barriers to suffering again. How does each of these prevent us from suffering honestly?

The apostle Paul seemed to fully comprehend that suffering is inevitable in this world and things are not as they should be. “Anti-shalom” is the antith-esis of the way God originally created the world and the way we still yearn for it to be. This wrecking of shalom is very personal. When someone sins against us or harms us, it violates God’s shalom. But there is a bigger, even cosmic, picture to all this.


BiBlE STudy

Read Romans 8:18-23.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not

worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed

to us. 19 For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for

God’s sons to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected

to futility—not willingly, but because of Him who subjected

it—in the hope 21 that the creation itself will also be set free

from the bondage of corruption into the glorious freedom

of God’s children. 22 For we know that the whole creation

has been groaning together with labor pains until now. 23 And not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit

as the firstfruits—we also groan within ourselves, eagerly

waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

Look at the word groan, which Paul used twice in these verses (and once again in verse 26). what emotions does that word evoke, as you read or listen to this passage?

How do Paul’s words help us understand that the world is not as it should be?

It’s vital for us to remember that the existence of evil isn’t evidence against a good and caring God. No, it’s evidence that God created human beings with freewill. God loves us so much that He did not create us as robots with no decision-making capabilities. When He created us, He knew we would not always choose what was good, and when we do not choose what is good, it is evil. When we see evidence of evil in our world, we must remember that this is a result of our free will, which is a result of God’s love for us. C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, Mere Christianity, that “Free will, although it makes evil

16 GLORIOUS RUIN

possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.”3

The good news is that God stepped into this world of devastating broken-ness, experienced it fully, and then overcame it. Jesus meets us where we are. He came because He cares.

How does knowing God cares for you help you suffer more honestly?


Wrap

One of the biggest values of being in a healthy, grace-filled small group is that it can be a place where we can be real with one another. In this session we’ve learned at least three things about suffering and how we can face it honestly:

• Suffering is inevitable and will happen no matter how “good” we think we are.

• God stepped into this world of devastating brokenness, experienced it fully, and then overcame it.

• We do not know all that is happening in the spiritual realm—we must take life as it comes to us.

As we enter into our prayer time each week, let’s remember to build one another up. Instead of trying to fix one another, perhaps we should try “stirring one another up to love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24, ESV) by daily reminding one another, in humble love, of the riches we already possess in Christ.

Close your time in prayer by lifting one another’s needs to God. Consider using the following to get this prayer time started:

Father, as we’ve learned in this lesson, we know that You are not unaware of or surprised by our troubles. You know that this world is not as it should be, and because of that, we face a variety of suf-fering in our lives. You care about our suffering, so much so that You came into this fallen world and experienced it firsthand and will return to bring us to a place where there is no more suffering or pain. Until then, Father, we lift up those in our group—as well as our friends—who are suffering. We ask that each one will find You in the midst of the suffering, because You are our only hope. Amen.

18 GLORIOUS RUIN

NOTES


PERSONAL TIME

FAir-WeATher FAn Or FOllOWer?

In Job 1, Satan made an eerily accurate analysis of many people who claim to be followers of Christ. Basically, Satan told God that Job was just a “fair-weather” believer.

Satan suggested that Job was only blameless and upright when he was protected and things were going well. He said that if all was taken away from Job that he would curse God to His face. Satan implied that Job only followed God because, at best, it was convenient for him to do so, or, at worst, to personally profit from the secure relationship.

Satan may have been wrong about Job, but does his assessment ring true for people today? Jesus has many “fair-weather fans” who are “all in” as long as following Jesus is comfortable and profitable. However, when their faith becomes personally costly to them, they’re nowhere to be found. Churches are full of happy consumers, who show up and put money in the basket as long as they like the style of music, the preacher talks about everyone else’s sins, and everyone gets along. But this is a fraudulent faith, if it’s faith at all.

Jesus often spoke to His disciples about the cost of following Him. Once, when great crowds began to follow Him, Jesus told them they must love Him more than their own families and even their own lives. Otherwise, He said, they could not be His disciples (see Luke 14:25-26).

How can you use Satan’s off-base assessment of Job to rightly assess your own commitment to following Jesus?

PERSONAl TiME

TO BE A dIscIplE Of JEsUs, yOU

mUsT lOVE HIm mORE THAn

yOU lOVE yOUR fAmIly OR yOUR lIfE.

20 GLORIOUS RUIN

Satan was allowed to test Job to see if Job would remain steadfast if every-thing God gave him was suddenly stripped away. Eventually Job came to understand that he was being tested. Even though God felt distant to him, Job said, “Yet He knows the way I have taken; when He has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold” (Job 23:10).

This idea of God testing us, as fire tests the purity of silver or gold (see Proverbs 17:3; 27:21) is referred to in several places in Scripture. The apostle Paul warned his readers to be careful how they build their lives upon the foundation of Christ: “If anyone builds on that foundation with gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, each one’s work will become obvious, for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one’s work” (1 Cor. 3:12-13). The apostle Peter said trials happen “so that the genuineness of [our] faith—more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:7).

If the fire of loss and suffering tested your faith, what do you think would be the result?

“yET HE knOWs THE WAy I HAVE TAkEn; WHEn HE HAs TEsTEd mE, I WIll EmERGE As pURE GOld.” JOb 23:10


PERSONAL TIME

SUperherO

Why do we run so hard from something so inescapable, so much so that we often make the painful situation even worse? Why do we as a culture have such an aversion to suffering?

None of us want to face what Job did. We’d prefer to be the conquering Christian rather than the suffering servant. We’d rather be like David the war-rior than David on the run in the wilderness. We prefer the mighty superhero to the weakling alter ego. Of course we do. Simply stated, we really don’t want to be human, and outside of Hollywood movies, none of us becomes superhuman.

When Jesus came to earth, He didn’t arrive as a superhero; He entered the world in very human and humble circumstances. When He began His min-istry, His followers expected Him to be the conquering hero, but He came as a suffering servant.

why do we have such an aversion to suffering?

If we are to live Christlike lives, how does that change your perspective about the pain and suffering in life? How so?

Just as Adam and Eve hid themselves in the garden of Eden, we have a ten-dency to hide. Perhaps because pain is a part of the human drama, we take on superhero personae that rise above the suffering of life. We build up a defense against the pain we feel. We tell ourselves that we can be the heroes. When we don’t like who we are, we put on a mask and cape to become the person people want us to be.

PERSONAl TiME

22 GLORIOUS RUIN

“There is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death” (Proverbs 16:25). Our superhero costumes can feel right when they protect us from the pain, but here’s the problem: the only real superhero humbled Himself to the nature of a servant and became obedient to death, even death on a cross! We have no superhuman power, and no true defense against the suffering in this world, pretend as we might.

So God in His grace rescues us from our pretend superheroes, who, it turns out, were really the villains all along. He tears off the masks and rips off the capes. And yet, what God really wants is the true us … who He created in the first place. Not a fake. Not a self-savior. Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will save it” (Luke 9:24).

are you ready to trade in the “theology of glory” for the “theology of the cross”? what is God doing in your life right now to take off the mask of the superhero in your life to reveal the real you? How will you respond?


PERSONAL TIME

MAking A DiFFerence

This week as you reflect on suffering in the world, consider some ways that you and your group can engage others and make a difference. Think about people around you who are suffering right now. In the space below, write out some ideas for how your group could make an impact. Brainstorm about groups of people who are suffering and what you could do. For example, one small group learned that the homeless in their city did not receive meals on Sundays, so they began preparing sack lunches with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and took them downtown to distribute. Other groups partnered with local ministries to help victims after tornadoes devastated a nearby area. In your next group time, you can share your ideas with one another.

Ideas:

•

•

•

•

PERSONAl TiME

24 GLORIOUS RUIN

The heArT OF The MATTer

Take some time this week and reflect on any questions that still linger in your mind about suffering and loss. What questions would you like to take to God? For instance, you might want to ask God why He permitted Satan to cause a good man like Job such pain and suffering. Write them below. Be honest with God with your questions. Through the week, sit with these questions and listen for God’s response. Don’t worry if you do not “hear” any-thing right away (or even at all!). God will speak on His own timetable and in His own way: through His Word, through wise friends, or in some other way.

My Question(s) for God:

1. Michael Gerson, “This Christmas, Joy Wrestles With Grief,” Washington Post [online], 24 December 2012 [cited 26 February 2013]. Available from the Internet: http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2012-12-24/opinions/36016376_1_christmas-day-christmas-season-grief.

2. Alister E. McGrath, Luther’s Theology of the Cross (Malden: Blackwell Publishing, 1985), 150-151.3. C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: HarperCollins, 1952), 49.


IN THIS WORLD ONE THING IS CERTAIN: EVERYBODY SUFFERS.Suffering may take the form of tragedy, heartbreak, or addiction. Or it could be something more mundane (but no less real) like resent-ment, loneliness, or disappointment. Unfortunately though, there is no such thing as a painless life. We are broken people, living in a broken world, with lots of other broken people.

In this six-week, small-group study, Tullian Tchividjian takes an honest and refreshing look at the reality of suffering, the ways we tie ourselves in knots trying to deal with it, and the comfort of the gospel for those who can neither fix themselves nor others. Through this study, you will not so much learn why God allows suffering or even how to approach suffering. But you will come face to face with the God Who suffers with you and Who suffered for you.

THIS GLORIOUS RUIN STUDY GUIDE INCLUDES:

• Gospel-centered Bible teaching• Core small-group principles and practice• Viewer guides• Weekly devotions• Leader helps

This experience has been designed to be read in conjunction with the Glorious Ruin leader kit (P005558744) and will help guide you through your suffering with the kind of hope that only the gospel can bring—the hope that takes the shape of a cross.

TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN is the pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, a visiting professor at Reformed Theological Seminary, and grandson of Billy and Ruth Graham. He is the best-selling author of Jesus + Nothing = Everything, a contributing editor to Leadership Journal, and a popular conference speaker. Tullian and his family reside in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

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