Life Lessons from Motorcycles

Seventy-Five Tips for the Face in the Mirror

Liz Jansen

Copyright © 2014 Liz Jansen

Smashwords Edition

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Cover design: © Lyn Bishop

Table of Contents

Introduction

Five Overarching Messages for the Face in the Mirror

Ten Ways to Benefit From Your Reflection

Ten Features to Look for in a Mirror

Ten Things That Distort Your Perception

Ten Lessons on Perspective From Motorcycle Mirrors

Ten Ways Mirrors Shape Your Point of View

Ten Important Things to Focus On

Ten Messages From Mirrors

Acknowledgements

About the Author

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Introduction

Motorcycle mirrors remind you where you’ve been and show you things you couldn’t otherwise see. They add valuable information upon which you can base decisions that affect your future.

What you see when you look in the mirror can quickly change your perception about what’s going on around you and about what could be about to transpire. Yet, every time you look in the mirror, the view is different. Your environment is dynamic and circumstances change.

At any one time, the view in the mirror is a single snapshot that is but a piece of a larger puzzle. That view reflects back only what it’s focused on.

Mirrors that are dusty or foggy prevent you from getting a clear picture. They filter the message such that it’s distorted when it reaches you.

In life, people act as your mirrors. They come into your life to further your personal growth and keep you safe on your Road. When you look at others, you see what exists in yourself.

Life gives you all kinds of experiences, many pleasant and joyful, but also others you’d rather forget. They all serve a purpose on your journey. Mirrors teach you to honor the past by learning from it and carrying its lessons into your future. Learn how to read the messages from mirrors to navigate deftly down the Road of life.

Five Overarching Principles for the Face in the Mirror

The following five principles form the broad picture, which gives shape to the messages for the face in the mirror.

Love the reflection. No matter what the mirror is showing you, extend compassion and kindness. In some way, that face is yours. Preparing yourself to serve your purpose starts with serving and loving yourself.

Be pragmatic. Try not to take things personally, and instead look objectively at what’s there without reading emotions into it. Motorcycles respond only to fact, not emotion. Fear can distort your perspective and cause you to react inappropriately. Even if you can’t gain perspective by removing yourself physically from a situation, you can distance yourself mentally and emotionally.

Reflections change. Every time you look in your motorcycle mirror, the reflection is different. You’re moving in time and space. People come and go from your life. As you learn your lessons and take on new ones, you attract new mirror images, and, with them, new lessons.

Looks are merely a snapshot. It would be foolhardy to dwell on mirrors as you’re riding. Likewise, it’s unwise to focus too much attention on the reflection from others. As vital as mirrors are in keeping you safe, most of your time should be spent looking ahead and following your own inner guidance.

You, too, are a mirror. Just as others reflect your strengths and flaws, so, too, do you reciprocate with a response. Try changing your response, and observe the difference doing so makes in them.

Accept what you see in the mirror and use the opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. If you’re not happy with your reflection, take positive action and watch the reflection change.

Ten Ways to Benefit From Your Reflection

Mirrors reflect what you can’t otherwise see. On a motorcycle, they tell you what’s approaching from behind, and allow you to react appropriately in the present and prepare for the future. They’re crucial to keeping you safe on the road.

In life, people are your mirrors. View them as teachers, and be open to their lessons.

1. Clean the mirror. If the information coming back to you is going to be useful, the mirror must be clean. If you’ve just been through a storm, the rain and mud on your mirrors will obscure your image. Emotional filters do the same things in your relationships. Recognize that if you’ve just been through an upsetting situation, it can distort your perspective on the situation.

Accept it. Mirrors don’t lie. As uncomfortable as it may be, accept what they show you. Qualities in others may be magnified to get the point across, but accept that what you see in others exists in you.

Acknowledge admirable traits. What is it about a certain person that leaves you feeling good about yourself? These are strengths inherent in you as well. Building on them will further your growth.

Acknowledge blemishes. It’s much more difficult to accept ownership of qualities you dislike. Recognize that these imperfections are areas that need attention. Often they are linked to unconscious or unresolved issues.

Look at the big picture. Avoid getting bogged down in details. Shift your perspective to be open to what’s reflected back to you. If you keep attracting people you don’t like to be around, you’re not getting it. Feelings of anger, hatred, or irritability are likely a response to qualities in yourself you don’t like. Identify the patterns, including what prompts them to show up.

Identify success strategies. You may be pleasantly surprised to unearth admirable qualities you weren’t aware of in yourself. Spend most of your time developing these strengths. While you need to address areas for improvement, don’t spend inordinate amounts of time here. Tend to them so that you can resolve them and move on.

Enact success strategies. You can spend lots of time analyzing, dissecting, and rationalizing. At some point, the rubber needs to hit the road. Do something. Take a step. Even if it’s a baby step, you’re one step closer to success.

Reflect what you’d like to see. This is an interesting and fun experiment to try. While having a conversation with someone, take note of his or her facial expression. If they begin to look worried or upset, recognize they’re reflecting what they see in you. Adjust your expression and watch their face change.

Monitor progress. It doesn’t usually happen overnight, but if you’re committed to growing and learning from your experience, you’ll see a change over time. People come and go from our lives. As you progress, you’ll attract new mirror images.

Replace them. When mirrors have outlived their usefulness, it’s time to replace them. This can be very difficult in life. There are times you have to make a conscious decision to part ways with someone. Even when you know it’s best for both of you, it can be heartbreaking.

Looking in the mirror can be an eye-opening and humbling experience. You are here to grow and flourish. The people you meet along the way are your teachers and reflect both your strengths and shadows. Learning lessons from mirrors furthers your spiritual growth and keeps you safe as you travel your Road.

Ten Features to Look for in a Mirror

By reflecting information you would otherwise not have, mirrors act as important safety features. That information forms the basis for decisions that affect your future.

People are your mirrors in life. You want to be looking in the mirror that’s going to give you a valid reflection—one you can use to make the best possible decisions for your life.

1. Uniqueness. The information reflected back is for you alone, unique to your particular place in time and space. Focus it by determining its relevancy to get the most meaning for you. Be open to the truth that everyone is your mirror, while seeking out those whose opinions you trust.

Drag. The best mirror choices are aerodynamically suited to your bike. Poor design can create drag, reducing the fuel efficiency of your bike. In the same way, choosing to accept advice from the wrong person can weigh you down rather than facilitate your path forward.

Size. The reflective surface needs to be large enough to give you valid information. Most jurisdictions regulate this. When processing feedback, make sure you have enough information to get a complete picture.

Shape. Convex mirrors offer a wider viewing range, but they make vehicles appear further away than they really are. Even when accepting opinions from trusted advisors, remember that they are seeing you, your situation, and the world through their own filters and perspectives.

Style. It doesn’t matter whether it’s shaped like a wing, a dice, or a skeleton—the surface still reflects back what it’s focused on. Spirit delivers messages in the most surprising ways. Rule out nothing. Be receptive to all.

Blind spots. You can be so intent on focusing your mirror to get the proper rear view that you neglect the fact it’s blocking your forward view of the road. It’s easy to subconsciously block information you don’t want to deal with, but this information could be vital to your well-being.

Magnetism. Your bike’s shape and aerodynamics will influence how dirt, dust, and rain are attracted to your mirror. Not only can this be annoying, it distorts your perception, creating a potential hazard. Watch how you pick your mirrors in life. Observe who else is attracted to them and what this implies for you. Follow your intuition.

Flexibility. Mirror heads on many bikes, especially sport bikes, fold backward or forward to protect the mirror in tight spaces. Those who truly care about you can roll with the punches. They’re there for you to act as mirrors should you need them, but will get out of the way when appropriate.

Versatility. Motorcycle mirrors can do double duty when turn signals are added to the inner or outer edge. Your closest friends and trusted advisors are more than mirrors to you. They’re an important part of your support system and are there for you when you call on them.

Transparency. How well is the mirror reflecting what’s in front of it? If its surface is degrading, it can’t give you an accurate message. If your mirrors in life are caught up in issues of their own, they can’t help you. You can’t count on them to be accurate.

It’s natural to gravitate to the mirror styles, shapes, and sizes you like, sometimes overlooking whether they give you the best information, suit your purpose, or function in your best interest. Whether you’re choosing mirrors for your motorcycles or for your life, select those that are right for you.

Ten Things That Distort Your Perception

Motorcycle mirrors play a key role in keeping you safe on the road. Lens shape, cleanliness, fog, and raindrops act as filters and distort or obscure the image coming back at you from mirrors.

The same thing happens with the reflection coming back to you from other people. If you don’t see the image clearly, or if you misunderstand what’s coming back, you won’t learn the lesson.

Mirrors, whether glass or human, deliver messages like any other form of communication. The model is simple. There’s a sender (mirror) and a receiver (you). In between are filters and distortions that interfere with the delivery of the intended message.

1. Desire. Like the photograph that shows a kitten looking in the mirror and seeing a ferocious lion, or the adage “Love is blind,” there are times when you want something so badly you overlook what’s really there.

2. Experience. Two motorcycle riders traveling together will see different things in their mirrors. Everything that’s happened to you forms a filter that affects how you view life. Just as others cannot see through your eyes, you cannot see through theirs.

Cultural upbringing. As soon as you’re born, the training begins. Your parents train you according to the beliefs and norms of their parents. This becomes deeply ingrained in your subconscious and acts as a strong filter through which your perceptions pass.

Opinions of others. Most people mean well, but when you’re asking their advice on anything, recognize that their perception comes through their filters, and they speak from their experience and perspective, not yours.

Media. Video games, television shows, and movies are entertainment. They are make-believe, not reality. Yet, it’s easy to become drawn in by them and insidiously develop an altered perception of what’s true. Shun violent video games and turn off the TV. Get outside for a hike with a friend instead.

Patterns. You develop ways of dealing with things without consciously realizing you’re dealing with the same issue just with different players. You may keep ending up in unhealthy relationships without seeing your role in the pattern. Acknowledging the pattern is the first step to correcting it. Remember, those partners are your teachers.

Relativity. The people who get the greatest reactions from you and those who you’re most sensitive to are generally your greatest teachers. Why else would they elicit such a strong response?

Defense mechanisms. You may not like what you see in the behaviors of those around you, and either rationalize them or refuse to accept that those behaviors are also in you. Over the years, you’ve developed coping mechanisms. Although they protect your ego, they’re not necessarily in the best interest of your personal growth.

Feeling overwhelmed. You can get caught up in heavy traffic and be so intent on what’s happening ahead of you that you forget to check your mirrors. It’s the same as when you’ve got a lot going on in your life. During chaotic times, you forget that those around you are trying to teach you something about yourself.

Stress. You’re recovering from recent physical or emotional trauma, or you have a deadline looming at work, and that’s all you focus on. You glance at the mirrors, but you really don’t see what they’re telling you. Slow down and breathe. Listen to your inner voice, and let it guide you.

Objects in mirrors are physically and emotionally closer than they appear. The image coming back to you from other people is accurate. Like beauty, perception is in the eye of the beholder. You have the power to deal with what mirrors are telling you. How you deal with it is up to you.

Ten Lessons on Perspective From Motorcycle Mirrors

As a rule, street motorcycles have two mirrors. Both provide ongoing critical information upon which you make decisions that affect your safety. Vital and revealing as they are, the information stream they provide is only one data point and must be considered in the context of everything that’s going on around you.

In your non-motorcycle life, using perspective and feedback from multiple sources is essential to getting a complete picture upon which to base decisions.

1. Discern the crucial from the merely incidental. It’s not necessary to take note of everything you see in your mirror. You want big-picture data rather than unnecessary details. Focus on details in your mirror while riding and you’re likely to crash. Focusing on them in life can get you overwhelmed very quickly.

2. Process what’s happening. Unless safety is at risk, don’t act rashly or make quick judgments. Taking the time to process information is an important skill for forming a broad picture, keeping things in context, or gaining perspective on a choice.

3. Adjust your mirror. Your mirror’s not providing constructive information if it’s focused on the sky. Similarly, you may be receiving irrelevant information if you’re getting it from someone whose destination is different from yours.

Consider the angle. You can only take in so much through your mirrors, so you adjust them to focus on what’s important. Focus is equally important when you’re working toward goals. Keep your attention on what will aid you on your way, rather than being distracted by extraneous details that usurp your energy.

Look for what you don’t see. Mirrors provide a snapshot of whatever they’re focused on. Shoulder checks supplement the view and address blind spots. When you’re making decisions, especially those with potentially significant consequences, look beyond what’s obvious to what you don’t see.

Recognize that surroundings change. Experts recommend you check your mirrors every five seconds. You and the vehicles behind you are moving. You forget what you’ve glanced at, new thoughts have come into your mind, and the next time you look, it’s through a different filter. It’s the same in life. No situation is static, especially where others are involved.

Take movement into account. You, and most things around you, are moving. They’re moving at different speeds and approaching you and each other at different velocities. We can’t assume they’ll be in the same place they were when we looked last. Every time you look, you’ll see something different.

Objects are larger than they appear. Sometimes the message has to be exaggerated for you to get it. Observing gross faults in others may be necessary

for you to see a similar behavior in yourself. It’s presented as larger than life to catch your attention.

Consider what others are seeing. Even if you don’t think about exactly what they’re seeing, acknowledge that, just like you, their perspective is changing too. How (and if) they view you changes in the context of what they’re dealing with at the moment.

Think of the situation as a puzzle. What you see in the mirror is but one piece. Only when you have a sense of the picture as a whole will you know how it all fits together.

It’s hard to imagine that you miss more of what’s right in front of you than you see, or that your own reasoning is biased. Learning to gain perspective on what’s constructive, essential, and—more importantly—how it’s connected to the whole moves you safely and deftly along your Road to empowerment.

Ten Ways Mirrors Shape Your Point of View

Through the experiences of your past, mirrors teach life lessons and shape your point of view. But focus on them too much and you miss the present and risk the future.

Without saying anything, mirrors convey a loud message. Without doing anything, they help keep you safe from harm, as long as you’re open to their message. They shape your point of view in ten important ways.

1. Add perspective. A motorcycle has two mirrors to capture images from both sides. Both mirrors are necessary to get enough information on which to make a decision. You need to view things from more than one perspective to get the most accurate picture in life as well. Although reality is always changing, you make the best decisions when you can get as many facts as practically possible.

Affect perception. The image you see in the mirror is not the actual size. It’s the same when you look back on life experiences. Time has a way of embellishing events. Your mind makes them smaller, larger, more painful, or more difficult than they really were. A quick reality check can correct that.

Teach change management. Each view in the mirror is but a single snapshot, and it’s dynamic. Experiences and people come and go. Time flies. New inputs take priority over older ones. Mirrors teach you how to be flexible and manage change.

Create distortion. Dirty, foggy, or sooty mirrors distort what you see, preventing a clear picture from forming. This is akin to negative thoughts and emotions that drag you down, usurp your energy, and jeopardize your progress. Stop and clean them. It’s amazing how things change.

Aid hazard recognition. Mirrors show you hazards that are approaching from behind. Presumably, you recognize them and can take corrective action before harm occurs. In life, ideally you only need a particular lesson once, and you recognize it if it happens again. Learn from the mistakes of the past so that they don’t need to be repeated. There’s too much else to do.

Require repetition. It’s not sufficient to check your mirrors at the beginning of your journey and then not again until the end. Because of the ever-changing nature of our past, checking them frequently keeps us sharp and ready to take appropriate action.

Offer limited usefulness. Mirrors reflect only what they’re focused on. Much of what’s going on around you isn’t captured and can potentially influence your life. Likewise, if you focus only on one aspect of your past at the expense of a much larger experience, you act on incomplete information. And that leads to trouble.

Reward mindfulness. A cursory glance in the mirror does very little. Although you’re going through the motions, you’re not seeing what’s there. Mindfulness keeps you receptive and safe.

Balance needs. Motorcycle mirrors must be large enough to capture as much information as possible but small enough to be aerodynamic, light, and practical. You’ll never understand everything that happens. Realize that there’s too much to comprehend, take what is practical, and then respect and park the rest. You’re not meant to understand everything, and trying only keeps you in the past.

Increase accuracy. With technology and enhanced manufacturing processes, mirrors are increasingly perceptive. Often, as people get to know you, they become more astute, and the messages they send back become more valuable to you.

Mirrors help shape your point of view. Life gives you all kinds of experiences—many pleasant and joyful, others you’d rather forget. They all serve a purpose on your journey. But if you get embroiled in the past, you miss the opportunities and gifts of present moment and risk your future.

Mirrors teach you how to honor the past, learn from it, and carry its lessons into your future.

Ten Important Things to Focus On

Mirrors reflect whatever they focus on. Motorcycles, the most vulnerable vehicles on the road, have only two of them. In a way, that makes things simpler. It also makes whatever they’re reflecting back at you that much more important.

They’re an important safety feature, but to be of value, mirrors have to be focused on what truly matters. And, of course, you need to be looking at them. The same is true of the things you need to focus on in life.

1. The present. Savor the present and what you’re doing now. It’s easy to get caught worrying about what’s going to happen or fretting over the past. It skips you over the present. Focus more on what’s going on around you than on what’s going on in your mind.

Today. Each day has 24, and only 24, hours. It’s the same for everyone. There’s a finite amount that you can do. Prioritize so that those things that add the most value to your life get done first.

Tomorrow. You can learn the lessons of the past, but you can’t change it. Use those lessons as mulch, to fertilize the seeds you’ve planted and create the future you want.

Saying yes. When your intuition guides you in a certain direction, even if it’s opposite to where you thought you were going, take notice and trust that voice. It only gets louder if you ignore it.

Saying no. If you want a balanced life, you’re going to need to learn to say no. Time thieves are everywhere. Saying no preserves clarity and the resources to get the important stuff done.

Simplicity. The less cluttered life is, the less you need to work to obtain, maintain, and eventually dispose of stuff—and the more time you have to enjoy the present along with its gifts. Consider if what you’re accumulating is something you need to do or have.

You. There is, after all, only one of you. You’re one-of-a-kind, here to fill a role that only you can fill. Love who you are and care for yourself, and you’ll be in a healthier position to serve others.

Relationships. Choose people who energize, inspire, and nourish you. We’re interconnected, social beings. We need others to thrive. The positive effects of healthy relationships extend well beyond the immediate when you invite positive people into your life.

Your destination. Although your primary focus is on your goal, you still need to check your mirrors regularly. Objects in the mirror are in your past, but you use that information to keep your future safe.

Your passion. Do what excites you, what you’re here to do. You’re the only one who can do it, and it’s so much more fulfilling than getting caught up in other things.

Ultimately, the decision on where to focus either your mirrors or your eyes and, consequently, their relevance is up to you. As it is on your motorcycle, so it is in life. Focusing on what matters helps keep you on the road, safe and enjoying the ride.

Ten Messages from Mirrors

As a communications device, mirrors act as both senders and receivers. They show you what’s going on in your surroundings while sharing your reflection with others. Similarly, people act as mirrors, delivering life lessons to you and reflecting back what they perceive is coming from you.

Motorcycle mirrors reflect information surrounding the rider and present it in a meaningful way—designed for safety. Yet, their messages go beyond safety, extending to life lessons you can benefit from every day.

1. Put safety first. The paramount function of motorcycle mirrors is to reflect the surrounding activity you need to make a decision on your safety. Similarly, people will alert you to physical and emotional hazards that you may be blind to.

Maintain perspective. Even given a large image, your eye may be drawn to a specific detail, precluding you from seeing the big picture. It’s a dangerous practice on a motorcycle, and it’s dangerous in life. Granted, you may need to make a quick decision, but base it on as much information as possible.

Keep your distance. If you’re too close to the mirror, every detail is magnified and you can’t get the full picture.

Watch out for flaws. Imagine if all you could see in the motorcycle mirror were problems. You can if that’s what you’re looking for. And if that’s the case, you might as well park it and take up something else.

Consider all inputs. Focusing exclusively on either flaws or beauty is not healthy on the road or in life. The trick is to take neither personally and to keep a balanced perspective. Remember, the beauty you see in others is present in you. Really! You choose where to focus.

See what’s there. Mirrors reflect what they see, whether they’re on your motorcycle reflecting traffic or they’re another person responding to your actions. If someone is responding negatively to you, step back and consider what you’re showing that mirror.

Everyone has their own opinion. The reflection that comes back to you has gone through any imperfections on a mirror’s surface and may misrepresent reality. Likewise, the opinions of others are filtered through their perceptions and beliefs. Keep that in mind when they’re offering advice.

Accept the truth. Whether you want to look or not, what’s there is there. Better to look and deal with the facts than to plead ignorance, especially if there’s a Mack truck bearing down on you.

Listen to your feelings. Images in a mirror or reactions from other people can

elicit fear, anger, or tension. On the road, it’s usually related to perceived harm. The same is true in life. If others are prompting you to feel negative emotions, or exhibit negative behavior, reflect on why you are responding in such a manner and look for the lesson.

Figure out the root cause. If you keep seeing flashing lights in your mirror, it’s time to adjust your riding habits. Likewise, if different people keep telling you the same thing, ask yourself what the message is and figure out what they’re seeing that you’re not.

Mirrors are carefully designed to serve a vital function—i.e., protect you from harm. Learn from them. The next time you see the same reflection, you’ll know how to respond. But remember—even with mirrors, there are blind spots.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to three wonderful people who were instrumental in the birth of this book: Carla King, for prompting me to write it in the first place, sharing her publishing expertise, and encouraging me along the way; Lyn Bishop, for another awesome cover design; and Marcy Kennedy , for her excellent edits and eye for detail.

I’d like to acknowledge the community of riders everywhere that I’m blessed to be a part of. The camaraderie, free spirit, and open roads we share inspired these insights and taught me these lessons from the road. Thank you for your questions, comments, and feedback, which have shaped this book.

About the Author

Liz Jansen is a writer, speaker, facilitator, consultant, and adventurer. Her work is based on wisdom and insights inspired mostly by two-wheeled experiences. She can be reached at www.lizjansen.com .

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