PowerPoint Presentation

Life after Launch: Aroad map for parents whose kids have left the nest

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With just a little time

You can reorient yourself

This IS a big dealIs it our fault somehow that we didnt prepare adequately for the empty nest even though we knew it was coming full speed? It doesnt matter how much we prepare or plan, the heart still breaks when someone leaves. It hurts. We have to embrace a future that looks different but is full of new and as yet unattained promising experiences. We have to find a new normal, just like we do in every new season of life. Life is always in motion nothing ever remains the same, which is a good thing.From Empty Nest, Whats Next? By Michele Howe

How did your launch go?

Self Care

"We can't give the best of ourselves, unless we first take care of ourselves".

Self Care is NOT SelfishStew Friedman, co-author of Work & Family Allies or Enemies?, Study of the personal lives of over 800 business professionals. The more time people spent taking care ofthemselves, the better were the emotional and physical health of their children. When study participants were asked to rate the different aspects of their lives, self was often the lowest and that is common in studies across the board. Why is that?

Why Is that?We are accountable to no one but ourselvesWe feel guilty or selfish spending time on ourselvesWe are too busy , and let the tyranny of the urgent drown everything else out

Physical NeedsSleepExerciseEating wellHealth issuesRoutineYearly tests

any coping mechanisms?

Emotional stateAttitudeOverreactionsAngerFearHopelessnessMoodyGrief

do you have a mental junk drawer?

Spiritual reinforcementsListenPrayReadBreatheVolunteerJoin a Bible study

do you want a happy day or sustainable joy?

Attributes of a Christian LifeLoveJoy Peace PatienceKindnessGoodness GentlenessFaithfulnessSelf Control Galatians 5:22-23

Reconnecting

Something that can take a major backburner as we raise and grow our children is the focus on the other relationships in our lives. In this point in your journey, its time to reconnect! 14

Top 10 relational needsAttentionAppreciationAcceptanceEncouragementSecurityAffectionApprovalComfort (Empathy)RespectSupport

Time to connectRediscovering your spouse

Now is the time to step back and get a picture of the special relationships in your life that may have not been given the care and feeding it needs to flourish. Date nights, trips, new hobbies. These are great ways to connect with your spouse.

Maybe your time has been stretched and something had to give, like keeping in touch with family or friends. What a great time give them a call, schedule a lunch or a trip to visit.

And what about all those friends you made sitting in the stands at your kids sports competitions, choir performances, school plays and dance recitals? Just because your child has moved away doesnt mean that those relationships have to end. Stay connected by planning a lunch or night out to stay connected.

Your road map has so many opportunities and options to allow your life to be rich and flourish! 16

Time to connect New normal with kids still at homeAcknowledge that their lives have changed, tooWork to establish relational routineReinforce family even when a child has left home

Time to ConnectReconnecting with familyTime for friends, old & new

Time to CareReconnect with aging parentsMaybe you are caring for parents at home and the focus is shifting

Reinventing Yourself

Something put off Career Interests and ActivitiesLearn Travel

When we come to a crossroad or transition in life, it is a great time to reevaluate your life. What has changed? Has this change given you more time to explore and discover interests or career opportunities? 20

Career

At this point in your journey is it time for a change? 21

CareerReinvigorateRecharge and renew focusA whole new directionA brand new world

Many of us have been working for years. Some left work behind to care for young and growing children. Some have always kept the focus at home. Does that mean that we cant make a change? NO! Careers are a journey with lots of changing directions with new opportunities for you right now. After a child leaves home, there might be more time to focus on your career with renewed focus. Take a class or possibly get a higher degree that will allow you to have more mobility and opportunity.

OR, if you are ready for a big change, why not a whole new direction? Are there interests and hobbies that you could turn into a career that would allow you even more freedom of time.

OR, you can discover a career for the first time! It is never to late to make a new start!22

Famous Career ChangersWalt Disney Newspaper Editor. Told he lacked imagination and had no good ideasJulia Child Spy with the OSS (now the CIA). Became a chef at 40 and didnt get her famous TV show until age 50!Harrison Ford Carpenter. Liked the financial stability. George Lucas had other plansAndrea Bocelli Defense Attorney. Didnt begin singing full time until his mid 30sJoy Behar High School English Teacher. Didnt begin her career in comedy until her 40s. Grandma Moses Potato Chip Saleswoman. Started painting in her 80s because her arthritis was too bad to embroider.

Interests and ActivitiesWhat do you love to do? What do you miss doing?Whats stopping you?

You know, at this point in your journey, this is also a great time to rediscover the interests and activities that might have taken a back burner. Or explore something new. What do you love to do? Cook? Write? Dance? Be adventurous? Whats stopping you!24

Where do you want to go?Road tripsFriend tripsDream vacationsAdventure trips Trips around an interest or hobbyRetreats

This road map is not short on some fun and adventure. When was the last time you took a road trip you and your spouse or just with friends? Have you had a dream to take a trip of a lifetime? Start planning it! There are trips around hobbies from quilting to country music to white water rafting. There are also retreats that allow you to focus on your spiritual life or allow you to take time for introspection. Where do you want to go? Remember, none of this happens in a silo. All of these things we are talking about tonight overlap and weave together to make a rich life. And with that, Sharise is going to talk to you a bit about how to re-enter and fully claim your life. 25

Re-Enter Your World

Any Questions?

Thank you!

Sharise AmanteLife CoachShariseBarnhillCounseling@gmail.comNatalie Cowen-GonzalezLife, Career and Cancer CoachNatalieBarnhillCounseling@gmail.comKristina HentgesTherapistKristinaBarnhillCounseling@gmail.com