An Open Letter to American Parents From Danielle Shimizu

(mother of Ronin Shimizu)

The last time I saw this boy, I was hovering over his lifeless body, laying on his chest and begging for him to come back to me. It took two police officers to physically take him out of my arms and remove me from his bedroom where his body lay. I can remember saying to them that he is already gone, so please let me be with him. The officers took me outside while the first responders tried to revive him. That was the last time I saw him. That was the last time I was able to hold him. His name was Ronin, he was my son, and he took his life at the age of 12 after enduring years of bullying.

The bullying started in elementary school with the boys taunting him as to why he acted like a girl, screamed like a girl, hung out with the girls, etc. It escalated when he became the first male cheerleader in a local cheer organization. By the time he entered the 6th grade, hateful words like "gay, faggot, or queer" were directed to him on a daily basis. Not only was he called these things, he would deal with kids not wanting to be associated with him because he was "gay". Due to the constant intolerance and isolation from Ronin's peers, we had to pull him out of school and began home schooling.

We have been asked by our close family and friends, "was my son gay? From our past conversations with Ronin, and the questions he would ask us, we do believe he was in the process of figuring out that part of himself. Unfortunately, we were robbed of the opportunity of him discovering who he was, which we would have loved, accepted, and celebrated.

I remember asking myself many times, where do these kids learn to hate someone? Where is it they learn that it is ok to say such hateful, hurtful words to another human being without any sign of remorse? The fact of the matter is, bullies are just a product of their environment. Some are not being taught to think how their actions make other people feel.

Some who are being bullies to others are actually being victimized themselves in the home, or some other outside source.

I was recently offered an opportunity to view a soon to be released film titled, A Girl Like Her by a friend who arranged a special screening in her home. After seeing the film, I passionately and quickly began to process the questions that plagued me in a completely different light. Unlike anything I have seen before on the issue of bullying, this movie tells the raw reality about why this epidemic has become one of our societys greatest quandaries, and how important it is that the people in positions of responsibility need to intervene and correct the behavior. Every parent in this country should see this film. Every. Single. One. It gets to the heart of the issue and offers a solution that has been in front of our faces this whole time. The movie not only focuses on the person who is being bullied, but more importantly, the sociological aspects of the bully herself, which has been the missing link in why this issue seems to get worse, even though there are so many people trying to solve it.

When we have a problem in our lives, the most proactive approach would be to get to the root of the problem and fix it. "A Girl Like Her" offers us a rare opportunity to look at the root of the problem of bullying, and how we can change ourselves and the culture we live in so that we can hopefully end this national epidemic, once and for all.

Not one more child. Not one more.

~Danielle Shimizu