Leigh Trisha-Betrayals in Spring

8/13/2019 Leigh Trisha-Betrayals in Spring

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BETRAYALS IN SPRING

By

Trisha Leigh


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Kindle Edition

Copyright 2012 by Trisha Leigh

Cover art and design by Nathalia Suellen

Developmental Editing: Danielle Poiesz

Copy Editing: Lauren Hougen

All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organization

ations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used factiously. All

aracters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the authors imagination and are not

nstrued as real.


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BETRAYALS IN SPRING

Trisha Leigh


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or my parents. For everything that Ive asked for and a million more things that I didnt hav


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CHAPTER 1.

For the first time in my life, seasons flow into one another in the proper order and take me

m. No skipping summer, no short autumns or long winters. The air outside the cabin where wding burns my cheeks with cold, and snow dusts the earth as far as I can see. But its late M

ich means spring gusts toward us in a steady advance. Even within the safe walls of the

ngs are shifting.

Something has changed between Lucas and me.

I dont know whether its him or me whos changed more. All I know is that Im not the girl I

months ago. In fact, I barely remember her, and wonder how it could be any different for Luca

Whats stayed the same is that Pax hasnt woken since being impaled by a jagged piece of me

fight against the Others.

Every time I look at him, fevered and unconscious, fear sucks sound and light from the rould not be this new, better, stronger version of myself without his influence. What Cadi said

ding Deshi, about time running out, tugs at my patience, but theres nothing I can do. We need

much as we need Deshi, and hes not going anywhere.

If we lose him, we lose everything.

We only have the four of us. We cant trust our Element parents to help, even if they did sav

es outside Portland. Lucas and I havent discussed any of these things. Not the way we would

fore. We havent talked much at all, really, passing the hours with only Paxs labored breathin

olfs light snores breaking the silence. We tiptoe through the hours like strangers, even thoug

reare, I thinkfriends. We might have been on the path to being more once, but now Ime.

Despite that uncertainty, happiness digs its fingernails under my worries at just the sight of L

his company. Every time I look up and meet his gaze, glimpse his shaggy blond curls, air catch

y lungs. The feeling is strong, stealing my breath instead of coaxing it away like it used to.

Maybe we only need time to readjust to being together.

Or perhaps Lucas needs time to remember how to not be alone. There wasnt anything I could

ne to find him sooner, but it still twists my heart to know that while I had Pax and Wolf at my

st of last season, Lucas had no one. Again. To be thrust back into that lonely existence may

oken me.

Ive wanted to ask what happened, how he survived, where hes been, but he folds in on him

enever our rare exchanges turn serious. When I met him and we figured out the two of us

ferent than regular humans, Lucas held himself wide open. Anything I wanted to know wou

nted across his face and in his smile, written in those bright blue eyes.

Now hes like a black hole, sucking all of the candor out of his face and into somew

ccessible to me. Part of me hasnt pushed because Im afraid to know why he changed. Eve

nter, the one thing Id been sure of was Lucas. A small doubt sits in my stomach now, sugge

t maybe the alterations in him sink deep below the surfacethat maybe whats shifted ar

lings for me.


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Tonight the fire crackles happily in the wall, bringing me out of my worries and into the cozy l

om. Wolf stretches out on a multicolored rug in front of the flames, the tip of his nose resting o

nt paws. His back legs hang off the rug, splayed onto the wood floor. Lucas lounges in a b

ther recliner, bare feet and legs draped over the footrest, reading A Wrinkle in Time for th

me. Its hard not to ask him what part hes at every two seconds, so I flutter around Pax, checkin

ndages and changing the wet washcloth on his forehead. Hes still burning up, the skin aroun

unds red and angry even though we clean them three times today.

You let him call you Summer.

Lucass gruff voice startles me out of my thoughts, and I taste blood. My teeth have worried ay through the skin on my bottom lip while concern for Pax flayed my heart as expertly as any k

quick glance toward Lucas reveals a practiced disinterest on his face, an expression akin t

died neutrality we both depended on while living among the humans. The sight of it settle

plication of his statement around me like a cold, wet blanket.

Ive always been adamant with Lucas about calling me Althea, nothing else. A lump jams i

oat, and I have to wait until it dissolves before answering. I know youve just met Pax, but I

ually lethim do anything.

Theres more I could say, about how Pax does what he likes or that weve had bigger issues to

th than my silly name preferences, but further explanation feels defensive. It lights a flickrayal inside me that Lucas would assumewhat? That I let Pax use a nickname because I lik

ter? Because Pax is special somehow?

Lucas and I are friends, and even though he kissed me and made me feel safe, we never prom

ch other a future. We might not even have one.

This entire planet might not even have one.

The thought immediately drops my heart into my stomach. After spending the last few months

x, Id started to believe my feelings for Lucas werent what I remembered. But the instant I saw

nding in that Observatory Pod, staring at me as though he would swallow me whole just so

ver have to be apart again, I knew I hadnt misremembered anything. And suddenly the thougt having a future scared me more than ever.

Hes bossy, thats true. Lucas puts the novel down, his leg holding his place. His eyes r

re wariness now, perhaps less trust. Hes aged these past months, and the expressionless loo

face scares me all over again.

The idea that I might not know him anymore, that maybe he doesnt want to let me, makes me

explode. Theres no way to make him, or to go back to the way things were. Maybe the answ

mply to face whatever turned him older and sadder last season. Even though the thought of a

ats my palms. If I want things to be okayor more than okayI cant ignore what happened t

ring our separation.How did Pax find you? I nudge.

Lucas looks away, staring into the fire as though the flames hold the secret to unlockin

verse. Tension filters into the room like a ghost, through the cracks around the windows

derneath the front door. A muscle jerks in Lucass jaw and he crosses his arms. When his

urn to mine, fire has leapt into them as well. Is he why you didnt find me?

His strangled, harsh tone slaps me in the face.

I slide from the couch onto the floor, wanting to go to him, to make this better, but not know

even possible. Lucas, I

Dont bother. You had Pax. I was alone. The two of you could have traveled and you kn


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uldnt, not on my own. But you didnt come. Lucass hand trembles as he picks the book up o

eatpants and holds it in front of his face, betraying his anger for whats underneath it. Sorrow,

andonment. And fear.

The combination floods me with hot regret, but I remind myself that nothing that happened wa

oice, either. Or my fault. My earlier question, about where he had been when Pax found him

en tossed aside in favor of hurt accusations. He clearly thinks I could have fought harder, tha

ght have agreed to help me find Lucas if we promised to go to Portland with him afterward.

Except I asked, and Pax said no.

I wanted to try to find you, Lucas. But it was winter and I couldnt figure out how to travel on. After Pax showed upWell, it was either stay with him or go it alone. Either way wou

ve changed things for you. When he doesnt answer, the spark of indignation in my center fan

mes. Does he think so little of me, of what we had, to believe I could just forget him? W

ether now. Thats going to have to be enough.

The words snap out, and the surprise and chagrin in his eyes chills the room. It cools the

bbling in the back of my throat, too, and a deep breath lowers my voice. Maybe you think I

ve done more, but you werent there, Lucas. I did my best.

He stares at me for another minute and I dont look away, letting him read the truth in my

hen he gives a small nod and flashes me a hint of his old smile, its a little tighter, unsure of idoesnt apologize, but I let the flash of confrontation fade to embers, anyway, and scoot acros

rdwood floor on my pajama-clad knees. Lucas pretends not to notice, returning to his re

tead.

We need one another. Were going to have to nurse Pax back to health, and then the three of u

ng to figure out how to rescue Deshi and get the Others off this planet before it disintegra

ws up or freezes or whatever happens when they leave a place theyve used up.

More than that, Lucas and I need to be okay. Even if he doesnt want things to go back to how

re, we cant keep going this way, both unsure and angry.

Lucas was my first real friend, the first boy who kissed me and made the world spin around, ssed him so much it felt as though my arm had been ripped off.

I reach up and take the book out of his hand, tugging hard when he resists relinquishing i

bbornly refuses to meet my gaze, but I pull his hand to the arm of the chair and lay my cheek a

The rapid thrum of his pulse fills my head with waves of contentment until it swims.

After a while his arm relaxes, then I sense the rest of his body go limp as a slow breath leav

ngs. Lucas shifts in the chair until his free hand wriggles underneath mine, and he lays his he

arm of the chair, our noses almost touching.

For a long time he keeps his eyes closed, and the sound of the fire and the feel of his cold b

ving strands of hair around my face lull me, make me forget how horrible everything is.I study the familiar crinkles at the sides of his eyes, the way his curls tangle atop his head. My

hes with the desire to turn the moment into something more, but I cant. Its not the time, a

uldnt be fair to Lucas. He doesnt know about everything thats happened since we disapp

m Danbury. If he did, would he even still care about me?

But everything that happened last winter, those heat-filled moments with Pax, seem a d

mory. Now, with Lucass hand in mine, his crisp scent filling my head, its so incredibly cle

that I would have searched for him forever.

I missed you. I thought about you all the time, I whisper, my lips moving against his icy hand

gers tighten around mine and his breath hitches in his lungs, but he doesnt respond. So


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bbles up from my center and past my lips. Im sorry you were alone.

Im not apologizing for any wrongdoing, but knowing he hurt makes me hurt. His blue eye

rfect twins of my own, open and we stare at each other for several moments.

Or an hour, Im not really sure.

They found me in Atlanta. Pax and Griffin. Pax guessed I was there because you two had al

en in Danbury, Des Moines, and Portland and hadnt seen me. Really, I think Griffin knew.

en watching all of us.

Griffin. Id give my eyeteeth to know what his angle is in all of this. He found us this cabin

cas back, but I still dont know if we can trust him.When I first woke up there, in summer, I panicked. I didnt know you had gone to winter, and

d Cadis message assuring me youd made it out of autumn, too. First I escaped into the Wild

und a canyon with a lake in the middle. I had enough provisions from the Kendricks house

mmer familyto make shelter and fire, and keep myself fed. I tried traveling, too, but it d

rk. He pauses, his eyes searching mine. I wasnt scared for me, but I worried a lot about you

The words trail away as though he simply runs out of them, as though maybe there arent enou

scribe the emotion of it all. We were alone so longour whole lives, essentially. The memo

se desolate days in the cabin outside Des Moines, before Wolf arrived and eased the loneli

tter through my mind like autumn leaves. To the three of us, sometimes I think being alone uld be more painful than dying.

The rattle of Paxs breathing worsens, and when it doesnt settle back down after two or

nutes, I reluctantly leave the perfect temperature Lucas and I create and go back to the couch. W

y hand rests on Paxs chest, his breathing returns to normal and the crease between his eyeb

ooths away.

Cold air hugs my back, letting me know Lucas stands over us. You care about him.

Weve been through a lot. We care about each other, I think. Theres no point in lying,

ugh the admission scrapes the back of my throat a little. Maybe because Lucas could h

ferent kind of confession in the words, all of the things I should tell him, or maybe becausssibility of losing Pax frightens me.

Lucas leans over me and presses a hand to Paxs forehead, his chilly touch eliciting a violent

asm. Its not good, the fever. Maybe we should give him more of those pills.

Okay.

We were lucky to have found bottles of medicine behind the mirror in the wasteroom. One o

els promises temporarily reduces mild pain and fever. I doubt Paxs pain is mild, but its the

can do.

Lucas leaves, then returns with a bottle of water. He lifts Pax up gently, though not perha

ngerly as I would have, and together we manage to get him to swallow four more of the uble the recommended dosage, but the container is jumbo sized, so there are plenty. I absently

y thick, dark red hair into a bun on top of my head while waiting for Paxs muscles to relax, fo

een of sweat on his upper lip to evaporate.

Night falls outside the curtained windows, and my eyes grow heavy despite the potential ter

ep. The Prime Other knows how easily he can get to me through my mind, and sleeping

test way to vulnerability.

The first night we arrived I rebuilt the wall to my sinummy own alcove in the Others hive

figuring it was best to get at it right away while they were still dealing with the chaos in Por

s not a very strong structure; I slapped the bricks together in less than fifteen minutes. Th


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ready been working on knocking it down, but at least the pieces arent tumbling into my bon

me. My ribs and back still ache from the beatings, and the deep, partially healed cut that run

y hairline past the outside of my eye throbs through its scab. I need more time to heal, and th

els strong enough to keep them out for a couple of days, at least.

Lucas tries so hard to protect me, or at least he used to, that Ive tried my best to hide my w

d grimaces. We havent spoken in detail about what happened to me in the Observatory Pod,

o or Greer, or that Natej said the Broken might still be alive. Ill have to tell him everything

d the thought spreads dread through me. Talking about what happened between Pax and I, and

erything I went through, will hurt Lucas.I lower the flames for the night as Lucas crawls back into the recliner and pops up the foot

rl into a mat made of blankets next to Wolf, taking what comfort exists from his companionsh

e earthy scent of him.

The loneliness in my center yawns wide. The desire to be held close, for Lucas to te

erything will be okay, tries to turn into words and push past my lips. I swallow them and sn

oser to Wolf.

I do want Lucass arms around me. I want to feel the crisp coolness of him, smell the pine n

n his skin, and for us to be as we were in the autumn. But even if Paxs worsening breathing h

terrupted the moment earlier, doubt stops me from telling Lucas how I feel about him. Hes hed the things he might be secreting away worry me.

Not to mention the things Im keeping from him.

Its going to be hard enough to be together in the same house, wanting to touch him all the tim

make sure hes really here. It would be unbearable to reveal those wants aloud and have him

e away.

So I say nothing, and as the sun rises on the third day, I sleep.


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CHAPTER 2.

Althea, wake up. Lucass rough voice shakes me out of a dreamless sleep. At least, no mem

dreams follow me into daylight.What is it? Is something wrong?

His lips pinch as he looks away, tightening worry in my chest. No. But the fires about to go

d its probably best for him to stay warm.

Him. Lucas doesnt call Pax by name if it can be avoided, but the fact that hes concerned fo

rds safety speaks volumes. His obvious jealousy annoys me, but when I put myself in his sho

r fourth was a girl and she and Lucas had spent last season crossing the planet together, I wou

any happier about it.

I crawl to the fire and heat the fresh, frost-covered logs Lucas must have brought in unti

ckle and pop. Lucas settles back into the recliner, reading what appear to be the final pagesinkle in Time.

The way he studiously avoids meeting my eye or holding a conversation says that althoug

ght have inched toward understanding last night, our relationship hasnt returned to its pre

e. I try to ignore the twist in my stomach at the realization. It doesnt matter how badly I want

m him, it only matters that we can work together. Lucas, Pax, and I. Three of the only

ssidents.

This morning I vow to try harder to focus on our goals, to be cheerful, and to not give Luca

minders of how hes been all alone while Pax and I have had each other. When he sighs and c

book several minutes later, I grin. Well?Well what?

I roll my eyes. Dont be difficult. What did you think of the book?

I thinkit was good. Weird, to read for a purpose outside of learning, dont you think? Whe

es meet mine, Lucas looks as though he wants to turn away but cant. Like an invisible tether

together across the room.

We need this, the time to sit and talk about our lives and what they could mean on Earth withou

erruption of the Others or Pax. Not that its good Pax cant talk, or that we cant set out to get

ht away. But the chance to be alone, to rebuild some trust, fills me with a little bit of hope.

At first, it did feel strange. I love it, though. I love all the books.Anne of Green Gables

orite, but you might not like it so much. I dont say that Wrinkleis Paxs favorite, even thoug

ught crosses my mind. What was your favorite part?

Hmm. Honestly, the whole thing. The way everything is made up and not at all like reality, bu

ople still feel real. Like one of the stupid movies the Others make us watch, only better becau

nd describes the words in more detail. Does that make sense?

Ive almost forgotten how Lucas thinks. Its so deliberate and encompasses all of the thought

d and a million more I havent. The way his brain strings them together always makes perfect s

Of course. Maybe we should write a story about our grand adventure to rescue Earth.

He returns my smile, both of us acknowledging my feeble attempt at humor. Its hard to laugh w


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nking back tears.

Wed have to know a lot more about ourselves, I think. And how this all ends.

Maybe not. We could make it up. Might be more interesting than the truth, I say.

Itd be happier, thats for sure. Lucas sounds so sad; the words rumble out of his chest l

terfall of tears. His smile slips out of his eyes, and the unexpected regret that takes its

esnt quite make sense to me, even in the context of our conversation.

I change the subject, needing to recapture our playful banter, to put the dire consequences o

stence onto the back burner, if only for another few hours.

How about the ending of the book? Okay, so maybe its not my favorite part, but its certainlst relevant. My favorite part of the book is when Calvin kisses Meg, but nows probably no

ht time to bring up that particular moment.

Lucas glances away, tugging on his ear the way he does when he thinks. The gesture, so fam

he, warms me from my heart down to my toes.

Its weird to see that this book was written in nineteen-sixty-two. More than fifty years befor

hers came here. Yet He raises his eyebrows, not needing to finish the thought.

The date caught my attention, too. As if the woman who wrote the story somehow knew what w

me to pass. I shiver despite the fire. The Others will torture us until we give up, too.

Maybe theyre not all as bad as we thought. Lucass voice comes out so softly it barely reay ears, but still it shakes loose my good mood.

Why would you say that? Shock numbs my reaction. In all of our conversations about human

ether or not we should help them, if we could figure out how,Ihad been the one unconvinc

r duty to save them. Not one of those conversations had ever suggested Lucas thought the O

re anything other than the enemy. You were the one who defended the humans, who said they

ight to their emotions and their own choices.

He shrugs, as though Im asking him why he didnt put a new roll of wastepaper on the ho

Maybe I was wrong. Thats all Im saying. We dont know a whole lot about how things

fore, and this could be better. He pauses, shooting me a quick look, maybe to gauge my reand we dont know everything about the Others. Even if its notright, whats happening here, m

r place isnt on Earth.

The suggestion rattles my brain harder than Zakej ever did with his beatings, the seed of doubt

cass subtle change sprouting tiny leaves. Ever since we learned that being Dissidents mean

ve one Other parent and one human parent, its seemed clear that one side is right and the

ong.

Where is this coming from?

Before Lucas can answer, Pax groans from the sofa, stealing my attention. When he doesnt

wn on his own, I go to him and brush the hair off his sweaty forehead. The smell of him, noroky and spicy-sweet, barely registers over the reek of sickness.

Thats the moment the whole scene hits me as a potential threat. Dread falls through me l

ulder, and no matter how I try to explain it away, it only grows.

While Pax lies unconscious, his place in the hive mind sits unprotected.

Since the Others know I have a sinum, theyll assume we all do. And theyll be searching fo

ys as well. Pax has never been to the hive, but if I have an alcove, he has an alcove. The O

n find it eventually, the way Fire found mine all those years ago, before I knew a hive mind

sted.

Paxs body is dealing with enough right now without the Others getting hold of his mind, too.


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n that, though, if they get into his alcove while hes too weak to protect information, they could

They could find out what we can do, if they havent already put two and two together afte

bacle in Portland. The Others intelligence rates too high to accept the massive number of

ls on the same day Lucas and Pax arrive to save me as a mere coincidence. That cat is proba

st halfway out of the bag.

I turn to express my fears to Lucas, then remember I never told him anything about our spots

e. Last autumn I hadnt wanted him and Cadi to know my mother talkstalkedto me in my m

only Id said something sooner, perhaps Cadi could have shown us a better way to prrselves.

Lucass face hardens into stone at my expression. He must only see a girl panicked over P

alth, which, while not untrue, isnt whats making it hard to breathe at the moment. Instead of fe

sperate over his misunderstanding, white-hot anger flares again at the way hes clinging to

ncerns. The three of us have one another; we can trust no one else. Pax is fighting for his life, L

s been afraid and alone for weeks, and half of Portland is Broken, which is our fault.

Its ridiculous for him to be angry at Pax, or me, for last season.

I fold my arms across my chest, unclenching my teeth enough to spit out, You have to stop t

ught we settled it last night. What happened last season is over. Its done. Maybe nothing willthe way that it was, Lucas, but its time to look forward, not back.

I get it, Althea. Nothing is the same. Not you, not me. Certainly not us. His gaze flicks t

ain, almost as though he cant help it.

My body almost rips in two, half wanting to shake sense into Lucas and the other part dying to

o his arms and beg him to see that we can still figure this outthat just because things

anged doesnt have to mean theyregone.

While the halves of me struggle to come to terms with the fact I can do neither, I close my eye

unt to ten. When I open them, the sorrow in Lucass eyes almost makes me soften.

I push it aside and point at Pax. Hes lying here fighting for his life, Lucas. Hes one of us, aned him. More than that, hes my friend. He saved my life, and I saved his, and togethe

vived.

Lucas says nothing, but uncrosses his arms. His shoulders slump. He came to get me, too.

Yes. And right now theres a chance the Others could get information from Pax while

conscious. Im going to explain it to you, but I need to you trust me, okay? I want to ask

members how. A few months ago the second part of that statement would have been unnecessar

Pained realization flickers and he nods. The temperature in the room lowers a noticeable am

ving me to wonder what emotion attacks him so forcefully. It hurts all over again that it

itten on his face.I take a deep breath and plunge in. Remember how Cadi told us about the hive, and the tun

w the Others are connected all the time, and the Prime controls their minds? I give him the

rsion of how Fire found my alcove and would push through my natural defenses to commun

th me, and an even shorter account of what happened last winter when Zakej found me, too.

ce Pax has no defenses now, if they find his mind alcovehis sinumtheyll be able to just

erything.

For some reason, none of this information seems to shock Lucas, who sits listening to my craz

brain tunnels and mental alcoves that feel like real places. Its not going to help his understa

tell him about the torture sessions Zakej subjected me to in the hive mind, so I leave it out, fig


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is is enough to deal with at once. Maybe hes still processing, or simply doesnt believ

Lucas, I know it sounds wild, but I swear

I believe you. He says this with a slight smile, not big enough to show me his dimple.

It leaves me a little breathless anyway, though that could also be the desperate explanation

heezed out. You do?

Sure. Ive been to my own sinum several times. With my father.


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CHAPTER 3.

Its like Lucas suddenly speaks a strange, incomprehensible language. If he knows abou

ums, and his father has been meeting him in the tunnels, thenLucas, you cant do that anymore. Its how the Others found me. They followed Fire.

My voice catches on her name, a reaction from my poor heart that still doesnt know for sure

ther betrayed me on purpose or simply didnt take enough precautions. Our Element parents

exception of EarthDeshis fatherhelped us escape Portland. It should count in their favo

yre still Others, still the enemy, even if I can maybe believe theyre the lesser of two bad thin

at happened with Fire proves anything, its that we cant let our guard down.

I know. My dad told me what Zakej did to you. Storm clouds gather behind his eyes and ligh

shes, shaking my limbs with the cold air that follows. If he had told me in time I wouldnt ha

m hurt you like that.His gaze, rough and contemptuous, flicks to Pax again. Maybe part of Lucass anger stems fro

a that Pax didnt take good enough care of me, not that hes jealous of our relationship

ntiment warms and prickles at the same time. I love the way Lucass protective nature make

l safe, but I dont need to be shielded from everything. Pax understands I can take care of m

d hes never babied me. It made me believe Im as strong as either of them.

Memories of the Observatory Pod, of watching Kendaja kiss Ko until his brain slid onto the

rk a shudder through me.

Maybe Im stronger than the boys are.

Lucas, nothing that happened to me was Paxs fault. He did what he had to do, and so did I.He should have done a better job.

Pain and impotence vibrate from Lucas, and telling him not to care about the agony Ive end

ms like a silly thing. No matter how angry he feels right now, how hurt or betrayed, my life m

reat deal to him.

He lets me pick up his hand and squeeze. Im okay. Truly.

He swallows hard, swiping a thumb over my knuckles. I know Ive said this before, bu

ieved to see it with my own eyes.

The room flickers and dims, disappearing around us as Lucas stares at me with that smile,

ngry eyes, as though he wants to touch me to make sure Im real. A familiar but still thr

lization dawns thenhes going to kiss me. As much as the butterflies flapping in my stomach

heart shoutyes, a small but insistent voice in my ear warns against it.

He knew Zakej had you in the hive and did nothing, it hisses.And still he thinks the O

ent so bad.

I drop his hand and move back, biting my lip at the injured surprise in his eyes.

So, how did Apa know what happened? And why did he continue to put you in danger like t

knew what happened to Fire and me? The questions tumble out, more of an attempt to distra

th from the almost-kiss than anything.

After that happened to you, he realized we dont know how to protect our minds while we


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used, and he showed me. Together we made a pretty much indestructible barrier to my alc

de and something elsedetermination, maybesteels Lucass eyes.

The never-ending worry that we cant trust our parents kicks my gut over and over, but instinc

t with whatever happened between Lucas and his father last season, he wont be open to list

disparaging remarks. Not yet.

And Im not convinced Water didnt know what was happening with me until it was too la

p. Part of me wonders if he wants to keep Lucas to himself.

Still, his statement intrigues me, whether it stems from days spent with Apa or not. How di

it? Protect your sinum?Its like how I borrowed your power in Portland. It flowed between my father and me and cr

s perfect barrier of ice at least ten feet thick. Whats really cool is that it allows the two of

ss through, so he could still meet me to talk.

What did you talk about?

He pauses so long that it gives the distinct impression that he doesnt want to tell me. Theres

cant tell us because of the thing where the Others cant reveal the secrets to their survival. B

share our Elemental legacy, more than what the Others teach us, and some of what the Elem

on Earth to control the climate.

Fear blossoms, darkening the edges of my vision for a moment, but I blink it away. Maybe Luits with his father have confused him. Thats likely what Apa intended. But does it mean I

st Lucas? Not in the sense that he would betray me to the Others, but in the sense that he ma

ger be willing to fight for humanity.

My mind clenches around the idea, trying to force it loose. I cant know for sure, and as much

rts, the problems between us are going to have to wait.

Focus returns, grabbing on to the one thing that matters more than anything else. We have to g

hive. You can show me how to make the barrier and we can make sure they cant get at Pax, i

d him.

Okay.The quick acquiescence takes me aback, although it shouldnt. He might blame Pax for keepin

ay last winter, and he might be confused about our parents, but our immediate safety trumps

ngs.

I take a deep breath and pat the floor next to me. Come here.

The fresh coolness of him calms my overheated nerves. Lucas gives me a sideways smile, r

eyebrow. How do we go together? Ive never done that.

Pax and I went once. We hold hands and share a little bit of energy, focus on where we wa

Thats all. I havent considered how well get where we intend. Ive never had more than

oice. We should try to land in your sinum, not mine. The Others have been working at gough my wall.

Lucass hand tightens on mine almost painfully. Well figure out how to fix it. I promise.

Yeah, but not today. I can still protect myself well enough. Pax is defenseless. He meets my

d we agree in silence. Close your eyes, focus on your sinum. Im just going to try to follow yo

Wolf cocks his head at us, his clear eyes asking a question. Well be back, Wolf. You keep an

Pax, okay?

He chuffs like hes agreeing with me, which makes me smile through the nerves splinterin

nfidence. I focus on the bitter, steady flow of energy from Lucass hand around mine. A pictu

hive steadies in my mindpacked dirt walls, shallow alcoves, endless twists and branches


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n were there.

And Im alone.

Tunnels stretch in every direction. In front of me a milky, opaque wall reaches top to bottom, l

ht, covering this particular sinum. The substance nearly freezes to my palm. Its ice, which m

s is Lucass alcove, but hes not here.

Panic races through my blood like fire, but before it turns my insides to ashes, Lucas steps th

wall. As though its not even there.

How did you do that?

Dont know. Its like walking through a waterfall. You mean you cant get in?I put a hand against the ice for a split second, demonstrating its solidity.

Huh. Must be because its mine? And Apa and I built it, so he can get in and out too. He sm

ice to know it works on everyone.

The fact that he doesnt refer to Water as Dad relaxes me a little, at least on the inside. Ou

ery muscle winds into a tight ball. Were here. The problem is, how are we going to find Pax?

hers have undoubtedly been searching for weeksmaybe longerwithout success. And the

swer dawns on me. We have to go back to the cabin.

What? We just got here! His eyes ask if Ive lost my mind.

Maybe I have, but were not going to get anywhere but caught wandering around in here aWell never find him like this. If we go back, try to follow Pax from the start, it might work.

Instead of arguing, Lucas reaches out a hand, takes mine, and the two of us close our eyes. I p

cabin, Wolf in front of the fire, Pax stretched out on the sofa.

When the real world spins into focus, Lucas has already picked up Paxs free hand, holdi

sely. At least we agree on not wasting any time.

How do we do this with him asleep?

I chew on the inside of my cheek, thinking. We have no idea what were doing, really, and i

racle weve figured out this much. Can we follow an unconscious Pax? Is it enough to imagin

rdsPaxs sinumand not be able to picture it?Theres no way to know, but ever since the autumn, when a few shouted words in my head l

Wardens disposing of Mrs. Morgan, Ive learned not to underestimate the power of the b

rticularly ours, formed by the combination of two species who never should have met.

I dont know. How about we both think about wanting to get to Paxs alcove?

We can try pulling and pushing some power through our hands, too. It might make us

nnected, and since hes not aware, his consciousness is probably in the hive.

As many times as Ive entered the strange tunnels that connect the minds of all Others, the co

a whole eludes me. Part of us lives there, like the way pieces of our brains that tell us to breat

smile when were happy. When were sleeping, the part of my mind thats still aware curls t sinum. But how were able to force our minds to kind of collapse, to fold in on reality enou

d our way there on purposethatmakes no sense.

So grabbing hands, pushing and pulling energy, and focusing on silent words seems to be as g

n as any. If it doesnt work, maybe I can try to pick up his scent or something. Like Wolf ca

th a rabbit.

The idea stretches my mouth into a grin, which makes Lucas tip his head like Wolf does w

ing to puzzle out my words, and the whole thing gives me a fit of giggles. I shake my head, ca

wn and refusing to explain such a ridiculous train of thought. Its nothing. Im nervous, I t

ts give it a try.


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On one side, Lucass familiar touch chills my palm, reaching into the soft spaces betwee

gers. Paxs hand lies limp, a cooler temperature than mine but not as noticeable, and I sque

ht as though holding on to his body will somehow drag his mind along for the ride.

I blow out a breath, focusing on Pax as best as I can, letting the heat in my middle climb upw

p down my arms, and enter my hands. I open up, imagining my body as the string between Lu

d my cup phones last autumn, and feel his power slide in beneath my fingernails, swirl throug

til the scent of pine wriggles into my nose and theres a strange hot-cold combination flo

ough my blood. The smell of sweet jasmine tinges the back of my tongue, but Im not sure

ng something right until a faint hint of apples and cinnamon flickers, like kindling trying to cabrand new fire. Shock wants to force open my eyes but I resist, keeping my concentration

ough that Pax is in there, that he feels us somehow.

This time when the hive appears, there isnt a wall made of ice. Were in a drab dirt corridor

me as every one Ive visited before, and countless recesses line the walls. The first one sits em

d so does the next, and the next. Lucas checks the opposite side, both of us coming up empty

stration singes the air around me. It didnt work. Pax isnt here.

Now what? Lucas looks at me expectantly.

If his idea fountain has run dry, this is one bad situation. My nerves heighten every minute

nding in the open, easy to spot if an Other happens by, but there isnt another option. We neure out how to find Paxand fast.

Let me think a minute.

I close my eyes in the silence. Were someplace new, not my alcove, not Lucass, so logic w

ggest Pax brought us at least to the correct vicinity. Without vision, the rest of my senses heig

e scent of wet earth floats beneath my nose, reminding me of Zakej when he pretended to be D

an attempt to flush Lucas and me out in Danbury. The air, thick with condensation, falls damp o

n. My ears hear nothing at all. The hive throbs with a pervasive silence akin to a snow-co

nter morning.

Then I smell it again, like I did in the cabin. Fresh apples. Spicy cinnamon. Not strong, barelyder the reek of dirt, but accounted for all the same. Hes here. Pax. I smell him.

Lucas doesnt question me, but closes his own eyes and breathes in deep. The apples. I sm

.

It made me laugh before, thinking that we could sniff Pax out like Wolf ferrets out food, but n

esnt strike me as funny. With my eyes closed, I turn in a slow circle, stopping when the P

que cologne hits me the strongest. Lets try this way.

We dont find him in any of the sinums in the corridor. Lucas and I pick two more turns, ho

ef, whispered discussions and sniffing like fools at each one, but finally Paxs curled-up

pears in the back of an alcove. He stares at us, appearing more than a little dazed. Its weird tm awake while he slumbers restlessly in reality.

Surprise lifts his eyebrows, but only briefly, as though hes too tired to hold them up or

intain his shock for more than a couple of seconds. Hey, pretty girland Lucas.

Trust Pax to retain a demented sense of propriety even deep in his subconscious. Lucas do

pond, but I cant help but return Paxs smile. Seeing proof that his brain still functions, hearin

ce and glimpsing that smile, washes away some of my anxiety. Hey, Pax.

What are you doing in here? Its not safe, you know.

I know. Were not going to stay long. We just want to make sure youre protected.

He says nothing, eyes drifting away listlessly. After what Ive learned this morning about bar


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worries me that he might not be able to help. Lucas, I couldnt go through your wall. You

cause I didnt help make it?

I think thats a reasonable assumption.

Then its best if all three of us create Paxs wall. He needs to help. If he doesnt hell be

ide, right?

Lucas casts a doubtful look at Pax, whose faraway gaze and faint smile dont inspire

nfidence. Im not sure he can. It looks like his brain and body are too busy dealing wit

uries to be able to focus.

But when we grabbed his hands before, I felt his power. And we smelled him. Maybe he canttle. It might be enough.

Lets give it a try, then.

We study the opening to Paxs alcove, and I consider how best to combine our abilities i

ong barricade. Lucas and his father had it easy, with water at their beck and call, but how to m

e, water, andair into a wall presents more of a challenge.

It would be easier if we had Deshi, too. Lucass musing breaks the silence. He continues

sed eyebrow. I was thinking we could build it in layers. Fire in the middle, then earth, then a

ice like mine. But we dont have earth and Im not sure a layer of air will keep ours elem

parated.I think youre underestimating him. No one element is inherently stronger than another.

Maybe not, but hes not at full strength. Not even close. Lucass voice softens, as if hes afr

nk hes trying to put Pax down.

I dont think that. Lucass unhappiness with the past several months wont cloud his hones

dgment. And hes right. Pax doesnt have all of his abilities in his grasp right now. We need to

t into consideration.

Creepy-crawlies start to inch their way up my spine and over the back of my neck until they

y scalp. Id like to get out of here as soon as possible. Remembering the first time Pax and I we

y sinum and built the wall gives me an idea. It might be stupid, so instead of voicing it to Luuch next to Paxs seated form and whisper in his ear, Imagine me a pile of Cell desks.

Its the first metal item that comes to mind, and I hold on to his hands, squeezing and offering

the heated power in my core in case he needs more strength to bring them into existence. B

en I needed to build a wall, a pile of bricks and paste to put them together appeared in my al

w, a low whistle from Lucas opens my eyes, and I drink in the sight of fifteen desks like we

Cell. Theyre cold, hard metalperfect for my purposes. Standing, I give Lucas a grin and win

He tips his head in return. Neat trick. What are they for, though?

Help me stack them in the doorway and Ill show you.

We drag eleven of the desks into place, stacking them on top of one another from the inside oove until they reach almost to the ceiling. When weve finished, I put out my hands and summo

at. The fear born of the feeling of being hunted, watched, brings it straight up and out of my p

my hands move over the desks from bottom to top, the metal melts and fuses together until

id sheet blocking the entrance.

Lucass cold arm snakes around my waist, hugging me to him and bumping our hips together

ides react to his nearness even as I playfully push him away.

Now its Paxs turn. With the metal instead of fire, his air buffer wont need to be strong. I

eds to be part of the wall.

Lucas nods, and together we pull Pax into a standing position between us.


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I squeeze Paxs cool hand and force him to look at me. Pax, we need you to make a little w

ht up against the melted desks, okay?

A wrinkle appears between his eyebrows, a signal that hes confused or deep in thought. It

veral minutes of patience on my part before he nods. Anything for you, sweetheart.

Without looking at Lucas, I step Pax forward and let go of his hands, then raise his arms out in

him. Relief floods me when he doesnt drop them, but leaves his palms stretched toward the w

Spicy-sweet autumn smells swish through the alcove first, then the scent of burning leaves fol

entle breeze on its heels.

Harder, Pax.His jaw clenches. A worrisome, thin sheen of sweat pops out on his forehead and his upper lip

breeze turns into an actual wind and bumps against my wall. Lucas takes his cue and puts ou

nds, creating a waterfall from the ceiling and quickly freezing it. Once the waters solid, L

pes some frost from the surface. Behind the thick ice, gray clouds of air swirl into cyclones.

I think it worked! The surprise in my own voice makes me laugh a little. I hadnt really exp

ositive outcome.

Pax collapses onto the dirt floor, still awake but clearly spent. Lucas and I drag him back ag

wall.

Time to get out of here. Relief is evident in Lucass tone, the way the words tumble out as ths been holding them in his chest since we got here.

As much as I agree, another idea snags its claws into my mind. Not yet. Ive been thinking.

Oh, no. The last time you had an idea I ended up maimed by a raccoon.

That was totally your fault. Now, listen. The Others hear one another in their minds, right? An

ther could talk to me by coming into my alcove. What if you, Pax, and I could communicat

y, too?

A funny expression steals over Lucass face, changing his features from open to shut in a mat

onds. The fear behind his gaze tugs me to his side, slips my hand into his. Its hard to know

e whats causing his reaction, but I give voice to my best guess.If we could do that, none of us would have to be alone. Even if were separated, we can al

d one other. Thats why we should try. We need a map, at least one in our heads, to find our

ween our alcoves.

Lucas blinks hard several times in a row, but the tears wont go away. It has to be what he

st now that weve been separated oncebeing alone again. He nods, swallowing hard and p

against his chest for a quick hug. I squeeze back, my arms freezing against his back, and wh

ns me loose his emotions are under control.

I think its too dangerous to wander around.

Lucas, we need this. And now that we can share our power to come and go more easily, wout whenever we want. I pause, wondering whether bringing up his father is a mistake, but

yway to gauge his reaction. Youre the one who says we should accept our Otherness, that

ped you see that. So this is our hive, too. May as well get to know it.

I didnt say that, Althea. I said there are two sides to every story, but right now the Prime i

r enemy. Until that changes, we cant be careless.

Fine. But were going to have to go to my sinum eventually, anyway. The wall took a be

ring my interrogation and I didnt have time to rebuild it well. And were already here. My

es instinctively to my collarbone, which still aches every time I breathe.

Lucass eyes darken like the sky before a storm. Okay, fine. Lets go.


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We walk right through Paxs wall, a feat that amazes me even though Lucas told me th

netrable to those who build it, and stop in the corridor. I wonder briefly if my alcove smel

e even when Im not there, if perhaps the jasmine scent can lead us the way Paxs did, but I

othing. A look at the concerned expression on Lucass face confirms he isnt sure which way

ther, so I pick a direction.

The two of us scout the hive, repeating left and right turns to each other, but even so, findin

ay back to Pax seems difficult at best. Packed dirt surrounds us on every side, absorbin

otsteps and returning claustrophobia to me like an old friendI suppose the caverns cant co

ut the fear of being buried in here forever makes me want to give up the mission and turn back.After a half hour or so has passed, Lucas stops me with a cold hand on my arm. He presses a

his lips and cocks his head to the right, down yet another indistinguishable dim tunnel. A

umble of voices flows our direction.

Since these caverns belong to the Others, we can assume theyre the ones chatting. Instinct p

e back the way we came, and Lucas tugs my hand in agreement, but then I stop.

Because I hear my name.


22/156

CHAPTER 4.

Lucas and I hold a silent conversation with our eyes the way we used to, and even though w

en apart for months were still much better at it than Pax and I ever were. Lucass eyes say,the bricks, and mine say,Lets find out what theyre saying. I win, mostly because talking

g of a risk so Lucas doesnt have much of a choice but to follow me down the corridor when

lking.

The rumble of conversation covers the slight scuff of our tennis shoes, and we draw to a stop

voices become clear. The Others who are talking remain out of sight, around at least one

nd.

How long are we supposed to wait here? The smooth, rippling voice belongs to an Other

thout a line of sight theres no way to tell if its a Warden or not. The only voices I can differen

the Primes and his childrens, and its none of them.Chief said as long as it takes to get this wall the rest of the way down, but theres relief o

y. And were supposed to notify him when she shows up. She has to sleep sometime.

My hand tightens around Lucass. Theyre trying to take down my walland they will,

ough time. I have a day or two, maybe a week, before sleeping is going to again become a lu

e good news is that weve found my alcove.

For a moment I close my eyes, trying to recall the twists and turns we took from Paxs si

shing more than anything that I had a pen. When I open my eyes, theres a pen in my hand.

Lucass wide eyes blink a couple of times as he stares at it, then motions for me to hurry up. I

ections between Paxs and my alcoves on my arm, then tuck the pen into the pocket of my jis time when Lucas jerks his thumb back the way we came, I dont argue. But before we move

n a couple of steps, a contingent of five Others steps into the hall in front of us.

Five this way, and who knows how many behind us, guarding my sinum.

Claustrophobia claws at my lungs, making it impossible to breathe. Dizziness and sweat swam

waves as I spin around, unable to decide which direction to try. The cold anchor of Lucass

ainst mine stops my whirling, and his steady eyes hold mine still.

We just have to open our eyes in the cabin.

Cold and heat swim out of our palms, mingling as it runs into my veins and then back into Lu

se my eyes, suck in a deep breath, and ignore the pounding of booted feet as the Others c

ward us in the hive.

Then I smell a crackling fire, and Wolfs wet tongue scrapes across my cheek.

Lucass body is there, but our hands arent touching. Then he falls backward onto the c

king into a ball with a grunt.

He didnt make it out.

Panic tries to slow me down but I shove it away, remembering how Pax saved me while Zake

in the hive. I can do the same for Lucas. Swallowing hard, I scurry to his side and grab both o

nds, turning inward again and focusing on Lucass face.

The five Wardens that found us are still there, and the sound of running boots says mor


23/156

ming. Two of them have Lucass hands pinned behind his back and struggle to slip gloveslik

es that trapped my power in Portlandover his hands. Lucas shakes one Warden loose wi

ow to the jaw, but hes rewarded with a punch to the face and another kick to the ribs fo

orts.

Im behind them, which gives me the advantage. The anger from watching Lucas get hurt overc

twist of guilt in my stomach, and I reach out, shoving fire at the two Wardens dealing the blow

They ignite and spin to face me, and the ones holding Lucas drop his arms in surprise. Pain

ht of their unreal beauty slams through my eyeballs and into my skull, making me squint, and

nd hair and bottomless black eyes blur around the edges as they go up in flames.Lucas scrambles to his feet, soaks the Others in a waterfall, and then stumbles to my side

ment our hands meet and Lucass eyes close, I focus on the cabin.

This time were both here. Lucass right eye is so puffy its almost closed, and blood dribbles

nose, but were alive. They didnt get us, and our minds are safe.

You came back for me.

Of course I did. From now on, where you are, I am. The words come out automatically, and

ugh I mean them, it occurs to me that the choice might not always be so simple. Especially i

y Lucas decides his place is on a spaceship with his father.

The thought clogs my throat with tears. Without thinking, I toss my arms around Lucass neckry my face in the hollow spot between his collarbone and his shoulder, breathing in de

morize the safe smell of him.

His breath catches, and I unwind my arms and slide self-consciously backward, replaying th

x and I shared after a similar panic on my part, wondering if Lucas would push me away

ew. But Lucass eyes wont let mine go, as though he holds them captive somehow from a c

t away.

Althea. He groans, as though Im driving him mad.

I dont know why he says my name that way, or why I dont move when he leans forward s

til his blue eyes are all I can see. His mouth touches mine, hesitant and sweet at first. His lipezing cold, mine are melting hot, and I stop thinking about all the reasons I should pull away.

When he feels me give in, Lucas threads his fingers through my hair, tilting my face toward

e room fades and nothing matters. Not Pax on the couch, not Wolf looking on, not the near m

ment ago, not the months of separation.

Lucass hands roam down my arms, slide around to the small of my back, and gather me again

til theres no space left between us. His lips part softly and our tongues tangle together, desper

king and finding the proof that were alive and safe and together. Pleasant waves of dizz

urn, thick and sweet and this time not born of fear. I never want to stop kissing him, but then, o

where, I hear him saying maybe weve been wrong about where we belong.I remember Deshi alone with the Othersand Cadi and Ko and Griffin and Greer. My hands

they release Lucass shirt, then press against his chest, shoving him away from me. In my

ace, the world is cold and dark. The look on his face freezes my heart until it shatters into p

ide me. The combination of hurt and humiliation make me want to curl back into him, bu

uld only get us right back where we were moments ago.

And even though thats a place Id like to stay, I cant.

Lucas I want him to interrupt, to say its okay and he understands, but his lips press into a

e, letting me know Im not getting out of this. I pulled away from our kiss; he wants to know w

The problem comes when the reasons try to line up in my mind. They jump and blur until th


24/156

t clear. Theres so much going on. Pax is hurt. We can hardly sleep without putting ourselv

nger. We cant go any farther without freeing Deshi, whose been captured for months. Youve

ne, and Ko is deadI just, I dont

Things have changed. I remember. The words are reluctant and sad, rolled over hot coals

yre melted at the edges.

No. I mean, yes, they have, buteverythings a mess. Weve been apart, and at any rate, we

re important things to worry about than our feelings or our personal lives or whatever. I reac

t he jerks away from my hand, refusing to meet my gaze. I bite down on my lower lip hard enou

tract myself from the pain in my heart. If we figure out a way out from under the Othersybe we can think about everything else.

If he even wants a way out from under the Others.

Sure. I get it.

You cant tell me you dont agree, Lucas. Lives are at stake, and not just ours. We cant w

me kissing or worrying about each others feelings. We have to work together, all three of us,

hing to get in the way.

I swallow, take a deep breath, and find the truest reason for pushing him away. Its too sca

agine a future where the Others are gone and were still alive. Like it will never be real. I can

rts. I cant look that far ahead.In the aching silence I hear Lucass indecision, his hurt and embarrassment. The need th

ently wrapped around us plucks its fingers away one at a time until we are no longer connect

Most of all I hear the confusion, ringing so loud that it must be coming from both of us at the

me.

He reaches out a hand toward Wolf, letting him sniff before rubbing the top of the dogs head.

s grown as fond of Lucas as he is of Pax and me. Its making me want to pull my hair out, wa

him to agree with me. Its unlike him to waver, to not be quick to reassure me that my feeling

rranted, and it crosses my mind again that perhaps I dont know him as well as I think I do

ymore.I understand what youre saying, Althea, I do. Im afraid, too.

But?

Lucass eyes are shuttered like they were when I first met him, when there were cautious

ween us. Are you sure its not about Pax?

Its a little bit true, but not in the way hes thinking. Before I can figure out how to respond

even deserves an answera moan comes from the couch. As though he heard his name, Paxs

nk open, then fall closed. When he pries his lids up a second time they stay that way, an

uses on the ceiling like its inscribed with a fascinating story. Even if he didnt hear his nam

sion in the room is certainly capable of waking the dead.I slide to the couch on my knees, grabbing Paxs hand. Hey. How do you feel?

Slowly, as though even shifting his gaze pains him, Pax rolls his eyes my direction. It takes an

veral seconds before they focus on my face and that infuriating smile tries to make an appear

en though its wobbly, the thing still makes my heart thud because its a sign that Paxs

vived this ordeal unharmed.

How do you feel? I ask again, brushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead.

Like Ive been impaled by a piece of playground equipment. He shifts and winces, then pr

cheek into my hand. Better, now.

Seriously. Can you stop being Pax for a minute and assess your injuries? Weve been wo


25/156

k. His fever has broken, though, which must be a good sign.

Pax groans a little as he rolls his neck from one side to the other, eyes sweeping the room

rks an eyebrow at me. We? I dont see Winter anywhere.

I refuse to take the bait. Lucas must have left the room when Pax woke up.

Maybe he wanted to give us a few minutes alone, Pax murmurs in a low voice, one that w

cheeks.

It makes me frown. Part of the jungle gym went through your shoulder, but the biggest concern

ur stomach and side. Do you think you can sit up?

He makes a short-lived effort, then lies back with a gasp. No. Not yet. Im really thirsty, thohat happened, anyway? I mean how did we get out of there after the Others showed up? And w

we? Wolf pads over and noses Paxs hand, which I dropped when he started flirting h

nute after he woke up. Hey, dog. Im okay.

Wolf whines as though hes unconvinced, then settles on the floor under Paxs hand. The sou

nging cabinet doors makes me jumpLucas must be looking for some lunch.

Our parents helped. Your dad lifted the jungle gym off you, and Lucas and I got you away w

y fought with Pamant and the Others. Then we went through Griffins portal and wound up h

nt know where here is, exactly, but it seems to be safe. At least while were awake.

Understanding dawns in his pale face. While I was out, you and Winter came and fortifieum. I thought I dreamed that. He sounds uncomfortable, and not just because he can barely

thout flinching.

If I know Pax, its because he doesnt like taking help from anyone. Also its weird to

nversations with people while youre asleep. Well, you helped. We were barely there.

I sigh, exhausted by the thought of everything well need to rehash now that hes awake. Like L

ending last season having intimate conversations with his father in the Others hive. Ill ge

me water.

In the kitchen, Lucas watches a pot of water on the gas stove. He doesnt look up as I grab a

m the cabinet, wipe the dust out with a towel, and fill it with water from a jug of melted sou know, they say that will never boil if you watch it.

No response, so I walk to his side, careful to leave space between us. Lucas turns quickly, cat

y face in between his palms and staring into my eyes with a familiar, determined expression.

Im sorry for being a jerk out there. Whatever happened last season between you and Pa

dnt, I dont care. I know we spent some time apart, and that we didnt make each othe

omises last autumn. We didnt have time, really, but I would have, Althea. I still would.

My heart bangs against my rib cage. I want him to stop talking. I want him to talk forever.

But I know youre scared of believing in a someday that might not come true. We dont k

ats going to happen this afternoon, never mind tomorrow and the next day. Were leaving disour tracks and theres nothing but a wasteland of horrors stretching in front of us. So well foc

task at hand. Ill do what you asked and drop the feelings between us. At my sigh, a mixtu

ret and relief, his fingers tighten, forcing my eyes back to his. For now, Althea.

I wish more than anything that I could lean forward and lose myself in his lips. Instead I give h

d and a small smile, and he releases his grip on my cheeks. Thank you.

The water has started boiling, and he turns back to it. The straightforward confession o

entions burrows into my bones, into a place so deep that no matter what happens, what dec

m forced to eventually make or where my trampled and hopelessly snarled heart takes me, Ill

e it.


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So hows Pax?

Thirsty. Achy. He seems to be on the mend, though. When youre ready we need to catch hi

alk about a potential plan of action once hes back in the game. I pick up the glass of wate

ove toward the doorway.

When I turn back to look at Lucas, his sky blue eyes crinkle at the corners. Our gazes fuse lik

d the first day we met, when the world disappeared around me and everything changed f

tter. I smile back without thinking, then turn and go back to Pax.


27/156

CHAPTER 5.

As Pax heals, the relationship between the three of us deteriorates. Im the glue holding us toge

d its not only getting more difficult, its more exhausting. No one single thing is the problemually being cooped up and stagnant more than anything else. Outside, the weather alter

ween attempts at spring and backslides into winter; some days are so pleasant that Im comfo

th no coat and others a bitter wind rattles the windows in their casings.

Weve been trying to come up with ideas for rescuing Deshi. Theyre never going to let him g

first order of business is to find out where theyre keeping him. First, Pax needs to be ab

ve without gasping for breath, and I need to be able to sleep without fear of being tortured.

I stopped sleeping three nights ago. I just have a gut instinct my wall isnt strong enough to kee

e anymore.

Even though I try to hide my fatigue by taking hunting trips with Wolf and making excuses to stding, both boys have noticed. Ive even caught the two of them talking quietly when Ive w

o the room, which is odd.

Although if I have to die from exhaustion to get them to try being friends, it might be worth it

nny thing is, theres no reason Pax and Lucas shouldnt be friends. Theyre different, thats tru

y share important traits like intelligence and loyalty. At the very least, Im hoping that spe

me camped out here in the middle of nowhere will allow us all to appreciate the strength

aknesses of our little band of oddballs.

Today they are together on the couch, heads bent, whispers skating across the hardwood floo

rbles while Wolf chomps on a bone by the fire. Itchy annoyance sneaks into my blood, and Iarmload of firewood. The crash startles them both.

Okay, out with it. You two have been thick as thieves the last couple of days and its freakin

.

I thought you wanted us to be best friends. Paxs slow smile droops; hes about as tired as

en though he sleeps away half the day.

Im not saying I dont, but I would like to be included in the chum bucket.

What does that even mean? Pax chuckles.

I rub my stinging eyes, force them to focus. I dont know. Im too tired to make sense of t

fore they come out of my mouth, never mind after.

Thats what weve been discussing, actually. Winter told me what you guys overheard in the

at theyre taking down your wall and waiting for you. Pax pins me with an intense gaze.

Lucass matching one helps hold me in place. We know you havent been sleeping. Is your

ally gone?

I sink onto the floor beside Wolf. I dont know, but it doesnt feel like I can trust it anymor

ough to sleep. We need to go back and find a way to close it off for good. I cant Words sti

y chest. Terror washes through me at the memories of the last time Zakej and the Prime caught m

hive, but neither Pax or Lucas needs any more guilt as far as thats concerned, so I skirt the

cant be alone with them again. Its too much to bear, that I might give away our secret.


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Thats true enough. The fact that we can undo the veils they place in human minds is the

apon we possess.

But its also the fact that Im just not sure I can handle the pain again.

Ive given the boys few details about what its like to be at the Others mercy, but theyve

ted the pain for short periods of time. Pax said Deshi seemed near Breaking the last time he

m in Other custody, and both Ko and Cadi looked more dead than alive after months of to

ght now Lucas and Pax appear to share a concern over my sanity.

I take a shaky breath. If I have to play on their sympathies, so be it. I want to go back inthe

us, when Pax heals enoughand find a way to protect my mind. Im so tired.Lucas starts shaking his head before the last half of the sentence forms in my sleep-deprived m

No. Its too dangerous. Theyre guarding you, and who knows how many are there. Lucas

ward, his hands on his knees. It wont be like before, when they were surprised to see us. Th

waiting for you.

My irritation spikes, shoving adrenaline through my weak limbs. A throbbing begins at the ba

y skull, reaching clawed fingers deeper into my brain with every beat of my heart. It only sou

e a couple. There are three of us. They cant know exactly when Ill fall asleep, so theres st

ment of surprise. We can disable them together, build the wall in less than a minute, and get ou

Pax leans back into the cushions, flinching as he pulls his legs up onto the couch. I dont thinng to be as simple as all that, but we still need to try.

Lucas shoots to his feet, running a hand through his curls. His gaze turns wild and angry as he

ay from me to face Pax. Do you realize what youre saying? What could happen? W

otected, but she isnt. If anything goes wrong, you and I will get out and shell be stuck there

m. Again. When Pax doesnt respond, refusing to pull his eyes from me, Lucas steps in bet

Isnt it bad enough that you left her alone with them once?

Lucas. His name slips out, aghast on my tongue.

When he turns to me, the expression on his face backs me up a couple of steps. Anger mottle

e cheeks a splotchy red, and a tremble besets his hands. What, Althea? I cant say what wenking? That he left you there to endure torture instead of letting you go and staying behind?

Pax did what he had to do. You werent there, you dont know. There wasnt time for us to sw

ces. And Im fine. We all survived. Were not going to get anywhere fighting with one an

out whats already happened. My insides twist into knots, nerves making my head pound h

til the need to sit down overwhelms me. Closing my eyes for an hour would be the most bl

ng on the entire planet right now. Besides, didnt your father do the same thing?

The accusation slips out, surprising me almost as much it seems to shock Lucas, and even Pax.

Its not the same thing. He didnt know until after the whole thing was over. Lucas stares

d, recovered from his surprise and impossible to reach.I force my own heart to harden. Lucas is dangerous as long as hes wavering. Are you sure a

t?

We stare at each other for several moments, unwilling to budge. I want Lucas to say the wo

ed to hearthat hes still on my side, that atmy side is where he belongs, no matter where w

s unwilling to admit his father might have had an agenda last winter other than simply bo

th his long-lost son.

Pax gets up from the sofa and limps to me. You know, if you agree with Winter, I wont b

u. I did leave you there, and I can only imagine what you thought, what you went through. He

y hands, forcing me to face him. It was the hardest thing Ive ever done, but it was the only w


29/156

ve us both. I knew you were strong enough to handle it.

Im not angry with you. Maybe I was for a while, but as soon as you came back with Lucas,

de sense. I catch Lucass bitter gaze in my own, trying to tug loose my hand. Pax wont give

amstrong enough, Lucas. Were a team, and we protect one another. But if I cant find a way t

me sleep, Im going to be worthless baggage.

Fine. If you want to risk everything by walking straight into the Others nest with some half-b

n, just tell me when and where. He stomps from the cabin, slamming the front door so har

or shakes.

I sink into the battered recliner, dropping my head into my hands and massaging my temples. ve skin and bright blue eyes fill up my vision when I find the energy to look up, and for a mo

simply stare at each other.

I should talk to Lucas.

He puts a hand on my knee and squeezes. Dont. Leave him be; hell come around. Hes frust

e all are.

The way he says well convince him, as though Pax and I are on one team and Lucas another,

er my skin like an itchy blanketsomething Ive become familiar with over these long mon

eping under borrowed bedding. Pax must mistake the look on my face for something other

noyance and walks his hands up to mine, pulling me to my feet and toward him.My whole body stiffens, even though hes a nice temperature and not cold like Lucas. And

ugh its not the same as before, when some invisible force seemed intent on yanking us tog

ng able to lean on him relaxes me in his arms for a moment.

It doesnt take long to find the willpower to push away from his hug, then look him straight i

e while the scent of apples and smoke cling to my clothes.

He reads my face for a moment as though its a favorite book filled with worn pages, then P

uth pulls down into a frown. I should have realized you and Winter would have time t

acquaintedwhile I was nearly dying.

Are you kidding me? Ive been worried sick, and Lucas is angry about us not trying to finoner. Everythings a mess, Pax. I cant handle anything more than figuring out how I can get

ep tonight. Everything elseI cant even think about it.

Im lying, because during the long hours without sleep I do think about the two of them. B

ttom line is that we need one another, and so even if Lucass potential change of heart regardin

htful place wasnt stopping me, even if I could find the courage to believe in a future, I couldn

th him. I cant afford to lose either of them. Not as far as this fight is concerned, and not as

y heart is concerned, either.

Pax nods slowly, the intensity on his face making way for resignation. Its changed, hasnt it

d ofgone.Whats gone? My heart trips. I know what hes referring to but didnt think it would b

vious.

The pull between us. At least, on your side. Although I doubt he means for it to, the doo

ere Lucas disappeared catches Paxs interest.

I shake my head, bothered all over again by the idea that Lucas and I have changed too much to

more than we are now, tentative allies. More than that, Im troubled that if Pax assumes Luca

re together and we dont need him, hell run away again.

Pax, stop. Everything has changed. Its all different. And the world is going to end if we cant

way to stop it. So thats it. Were all friends. Especially now.


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It could have been different, you know.

Heat swells my heart, diffusing warmth through my limbs. Its not like beforeit doesnt s

ns thrumming with needbut I do care for him. Not only because I need him to fight the Other

cause Pax gave me something last winter that Ill never lose: my confidence. And for a w

ught maybe we could turn that attraction into something deeper, that my feelings for Pax could

o more than desire. Until I saw Lucas again. I know.

Pax retreats, easing back onto the couch, resignation written across his face. After a momen

y smile returns, and he jerks a thumb toward the front door. When Winter gets back well f

t what to do.His words leave me disoriented. Honestly, I never expected to love or be loved in my entire

e whole idea of love is still new too me; its overwhelming and hurts my stomach at the same

t it warms my heart. Perhaps Im being selfish, thinking they could both be mine in different w

My mind and body tangle into such a hopeless knot of emotions that Id run straight into Kend

zy, spindly arms if it meant this would all sort itself out.

***

We come up with a course of action, and when Pax insists he can hold up his end of the deays later, we decide not to wait. Sleep insisted last night, but I dont remember anything so it

ve been deep and dreamless enough to keep me protected. Or maybe my wall remains solid en

hold out Zakej and his terrible sister. Id guess the former. Its been a week now and the Other

hing if not efficient.

So, we go straight to Summers and use our powers to disable whoever is there and erect

od barrier using our three elements, then we run like Wolf after a squirrel. Pax stops, waitin

cas and my assent.

He gets a nod from me but nothing from Lucas, who grudgingly agreed that the three of us tog

th our powers could probably handle three or four Others. If there are more than that, were sng to get out. Pax rolls his eyes at Lucass silent dissent. I step in between them, grasping

nds and linking the three of us together.

We go still. Lucass cold right hand grips my left tighter than necessary, and after a mome

ling like freezing water flows up my arm and pools in my chest. Paxs fingers lace with m

rmth like sweet sunshine coursing from him and mixing in my center. I can feel the now fam

nsation of my own heat licking outward into the boys, but Im not weakened by its loss. Instea

mbination of our three powers increases my own strength. With my eyes closed, I focus all o

ergy on my sinum, and when I open them, were all inside.

Its empty except for the battered but still locked trunk in the corner. Boot prints mark the dirt zens of pairs, proof that my instinct about my sinum being unsafe was correct. The w

nstructed from bricks and gray goop has disappeared as though it never existed.

The sound of voices and scuffling shoes draw my attention, and an instant later a Warden peer

sinum.

Another jumps to his side after a shout, but were too fast. We were expecting them to be here

yre surprised. It gives us the advantage wed hoped for.

Pax reaches out a hand, shooting a gust of air so strong it lifts the Other off his feet and slam

o the wall with a sickening crunch. When Pax lowers his arm, the Others body slumps t

ound. Pax stumbles a little, as though the blast of power took too much out of his barely reco


31/156

dy.

The three of us turn to the second Other, who hasnt moved. He puts his hands up and slides t

or, propping his back against the dirt in the hallway, then glances expectantly between Pax an

surrender. Dont melt me or anything. Please.

Its hard to tell them apart, or to believe they are different from one another in any significant

t this is an Other Ive met before. I step lightly out of my sinum, peeking around the corner to

a trap, but the corridors are empty. A few more paces toward the second Warden confirm

picions.

Its Natej, the Other that Pax and Griffin captured in the woods. The one Greer loves enough toked, forgotten, in a cell.

He must see the recognition on my face, because he smiles. We meet again, daughter of F

pected we might.

Shut up. Whether Greer loves him or not, I certainly dont trust him.

Lucas raises his eyebrows at me. You two know each other?

Pax introduced us, in a manner of speaking. I give Lucas a smile in an attempt to make lig

s situation, which seems to have gone too easily in our favor. The question is, what do we do

m now?

The plan was to disable the Others guarding my alcove, but I dont have it in me to hurt thice hes not an immediate threat.

Hisname is Natej, the Other interjects, sticking out a hand toward me like hes offering to

part of the introduction.

Its brave of him to be willing to touch any of us, and for a moment I consider being polite. I d

ainst it, in the end, mostly because Im unwilling to drop either Paxs or Lucass hand to d

tead I squint at him, avoiding direct contact with his black gaze in case hes trying to trick me

ough to dig claws of pain into my mind.

Why arent you fighting us? I demand.

Because Id lose.Because youve already mentally summoned the rest of your race of locusts, you mean, Pax

his former captive.

Natej shrugs. Believe what youd like.

Shut up, I tell the Warden again.

The four of us listen in silence. The sounds of pounding boots and shouted orders dont come

veral minutes and I decide hes telling the truth. I dont know why hes helping us, or if he act

but we dont have time to figure it out right now. I drop the boys hands and stand in front o

le sinum. The trunk with our secretthe knowledge that we can unveil humanstucked i

ches my eye, and for a moment I think it would be better to move it to Lucass or Paxs alen I realize thats silly. Its not actually in a trunk in this hive, its in my head, and I cant remo

s mine to bear, and Paxs and Lucass. We cant pass it off.

Pax may not be at full strength, but hes better than the last time we built a barrier. Since he n

w that Other into pieces, Im worried he might be depleted, but when he catches my glance

irks. Ive got as much as you need, Summer.

Instead of imagining desks or other metal objects, I try something new. At first, nothing but s

terializesall over my forehead, down the back of my neck, oozing from my palmsbut a

nute or two of concentration, flames sputter to life out of nothing. It doesnt take long to fi

ening of my alcove with a wall of flickering orange, red, and white fire.


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Pride, an unfamiliar sensation, pastes a smile on my face. Pax and Lucas step forward togeth

er of swirling air goes on next to continually feed the flames, then a waterfall spills from abov

orway, freezing solid as it hits the floor.

Potent relief trembles through my limbs. My mind, and our secret, is safe for now.

Lets go, Lucas demands.

Wait. Paxs voice commands our attention, and even though the plan was to escape as quick

ssible, Im curious. Dont you wonder where they all are?

Who?

Pax rolls his eyes. Dont be dense on purpose, Winter. The Others. Why are there only twoarding Altheas sinum?

They are attending a rather unprecedented emergency, Natej interrupts, still on his rear wit

ck of his tan-and-black Warden uniform pressed up against the tunnel wall. His voice caresse

s, tickling like a pleasant low hum. It urges me to trust him, to say okay to whatever he prop

t good sense snaps me out of the trance after a second. I frown at him. Its a trap, right?

uld you help us or tell us anything?

Natejs arrogant grin slips at the corners, turning into something haunting and edged with la

reer can be very persuasive.

Who is Greer? Lucas demands, obviously more than a little annoyed to be in the dark.Its not the Others answer but the sorrow etching lines on his face that stops me. For the first

my almost seventeen years, individuality emerges from inside these alien beings and tugs not o

r, but my empathy. Without taking my eyes off Natej, I answer Lucas. Ill tell you later.

Lets have him take us where the Others are gathered so we can find out whats going on.

ways impatient, shifts from foot to foot.

Thats the dumbest idea Ive ever heard. Thats probably what theyre telling him to d

nvince us he wants to help so he can deliver us like dinner, Lucas shoots back.

I wave my hand at them both and they fall silent, still shooting disgusted looks at each ot

rrow my gaze on Natej. No, were not going anywhere. Youre just going to show me.Without a protest, Natej offers his arm. Before either boy can stop me, I grab it, and the tunnel

d Lucas all disappear. Its a little bit like traveling, at first, being one place and then another

way to get my bearings in between, and wisps of panic curl into my muscles. Then the dar

edes and, even though Im alone, I get a handle on my rising alarm.

Im inside the room where they tortured me the first time. The pain had been unbearable, but n

ow the mental pain is nothing compared to what they can inflict in person.

Nevertheless, the sight of this place pounds terror into my heart. I force myself to calm dow

member that Im not here, Im inside Natejs mind and hes linked in to these proceedings.

The Prime sits at the front of the room, his despicable children on his right and left. The sigee of the Elements surprises me; Apa, Lucass father, is missing, but the rest huddle in sep

ges behind the Primes seat, looking miserable and shocked. For the first time, my mother ap

n and too thin, no longer the blazing beauty that nearly blinds me when she smiles.

The sight of their stunned features is enough to make me wonder if I want to know w

ppened. Others pack the bleachers, each situated in their own seat, but some of the space

pty. The last time I was here it didnt occur to me to spend much time studying the audience

w that Im not focused on pain, they interest me. Theyre not solid but kind of glimmering,

ks as though theyre separated by something more than a seat. Perhaps since this is a m

eting, their likenesses are projected from their own alcoves.


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The Primes voice distracts me from my musing. Worry snags his normally pleasant tenor. W

countered an issue that may prevent us from staying on Earth much longer.

My heart lifts. If theyre going to leave then all of this could be over.

Then Cadis warning rings in my mind, and I remember that when the Others abandon Earth, th

ve behind an atmosphere so out of balance that the planet wont be able to survive. I think

shi, about Griffin and Greer and Cadi.

As much as Id like to be free of my pursuers, this is not the way. They arent supposed to g

t before weve devised a way to get back the peoplebeingswe love. Not before weve le

nurture our powers into abilities we can use to set the planet back to right.Behind the Prime, the Elements keep their eyes trained obediently on the ground. Are they sadd

what has happened? Have they failed somehow?

One of the traitorous Elements has taken another step away from us, his people, in favor o

ak-minded human beings that inhabit this planet. Earlier tonight, Apa attempted to take his

e.

The statement doesnt make any more sense to the Others in the room than it does to my ear

st, thats what Im guessing based on the loud murmurs that tumble through the air as haphaz

little kids rolling down a grassy hill.

Silence returns as the Prime lifts a hand, looking more tired than Ive ever seen him. nditions on Earth will deteriorate rapidly without his assistance at the Harvest Site. Well ha

ve within the week if he does not regain consciousness.

Ive never heard the termHarvest Site, and he gives no further explanation. The word harvest

w, though. Could it be where theyre extracting their life-sustaining substance from Earth?

Why would he do such a thing? The question comes from the back, from a male Other who

e all the rest. Kendaja is the lone female in the room, besides my mother, but I know more exis

Fires eyebrows raise slightly at the question, as though shes wondering whether or not the P

ll give an honest answer.

He pauses, then presses his lips into a thin line. We dont know for sure, since he has not wce the incident, but we believe he did

Leigh Trisha-Betrayals in Spring

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