Leads, Misleadsand (Un)happy Endings

An editor’s perspective

Leads

Unlike the Media Writing class, we aren’t so much concerned here with writing leads as judging them, evaluating them as to appropriateness of tone and content. Since the seed of an idea for a headline often comes from the lead of a story, the need for an effective lead is vital. Generally, if you have problem with a lead, you would have to take your concerns to the writer or the writer’s editor. But in this class, you are both copy editor and assignments editor, so rewrite all you want.

Leads

Editing leads is a balancing act. You

have to balance the six main

elements of a news lead (the old 5

W’s and an H) for one thing – not all

should go there.

You also have to balance the desire

of the reader for clear and concise

information with the reporter’s right to

tell the story in a distinct and personal

style. Interacting with the reporting

staff can help navigate these waters.

Leads

Keep in mind that you are the reader’s advocate … you have your hand on the information gate. You decide: What is the news here? What do my readers want to know? But you have to balance that with the need to maintain the writer’s creativity and personal style. In a way, you are serving two masters, although the reader should always have the trump card.

Editors also have to be aware that what the news was in the morning, when the story broke, may not be the new or may be old news by the evening. Like headlines, ledes may have to be adapted.

Leads: What are they?The lead is a brief, compelling summary of what the story is about. Note the “compelling” part -- it can be interesting or important or both. It is often called the nut graph, the sentence that sums up the story in a nutshell.

In news summary stories, the lead/nut graph nearly always the first paragraph -- this is likely the root of most headline ideas. But beware that you can’t always depend on that first graph for your headline – stories that use “attention getter” devices as a set-up will have the actual nut graph placed several paragraphs into the text. Remember that headline from Day 1 that had the wrong score?

It is up to the editor to ensure that the lead contains the proper news values, based on the traditional elements of timeliness, proximity, prominence, relevance, novelty, human interest and conflict.

Leads: Two main types

News summary: A direct, straightforward approach that distills out the most important or interesting elements of the story into a few words. It is often one sentence, two at most, and includes a combination of the five W’s and H. In news summary stories, the lead/nut graph nearly always the first paragraph -- this is likely the root of most headline ideas. Nearly all news summary leads contain a time element reference. For editors, datelines and wire credits are critical elements that need to be checked for accuracy as well.

Leads: Two main types

Delayed lead: An indirect approach that utilizes a variety of creative devices that place the nut graph deeper into the story. Perhaps an anecdote is used to take the reader from a specific example / incident to the more general content of the story. Anecdotal leads, often seen in national publications like Readers Digest and Parade magazine, and are used to personalize a story, to give it a human face.

The point where a story shifts gears from the anecdote -- or whatever device is being used -- is called “the turn.” It could be the nut graph, or the nut graph could follow shortly afterward. BE CAREFUL: The turn can be a delicate joint. If not carried out properly, you derail the reader’s train of thought.

Leads: A news summary lead example

Associated Press TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico — Mexican police said Saturday that they had broken up a vote-buying scheme in Chiapas on the eve of state elections, which will be closely watched in a country already straining under the turmoil of a disputed presidential election.

Four people were arrested on charges of …

(hedline than ran: 4 leftist supporters accused of swapping supplies for votes .... )

Note that the headline has typical subject verb object construction.

Leads: A delayed lead example

Associated Press

CHARDON, Ohio — Though only a 6-pound Chihuahua-rat terrier mix who looks like she belongs in Paris Hilton's purse, Midge has the will, skill and nose of a 100-pound German

shepherd.

The newest recruit for the Geauga County Sheriff’s Department's K-9 unit could very well be the nation's smallest drug-sniffing pooch. (Here is the nut graph -- what the story is about)

Hed: Tiny drug-sniffing pooch may take nip out of crimeDeck: Sheriff training Chihuahua-terrier mix to conduct

narcotics searches like the big dogs ...

Notice wordplay with "nip” and "like the big dogs”

A really delayed leadHouston Chronicle

Along with pencil and three-ring-binder purchases, many students now include stops at Web sites such as ratemyteachers.com on their back-to-school lists. "I kind of just wanted to know what I would be up against," explained Angela Brown, 17, who for the past two years has scanned student reviews of teachers she'll face in the classroom when school begins. Brown said most of her Clear Creek High School classmates rate and check ratings on their teachers at the Web site. Across the lake from her, at rival school Clear Lake, the site is even more popular: That school ranks among the most rated in the country at the student-review site. Students at these schools, however, are not the only ones logging in to opine on English instructors, school principals and PE coaches. (the turn) The boom of anonymous school rating sites, ballooning to 9 million posts at that site alone last spring, is a trend some consider democratic and others call divisive. (nut graf)

Hed: On Web, students do the grading Deck: Democratic or divisive? Views vary on sites that rate teachers

The main hed entices the reader but doesn’t give the story away. The deck hedline summarizes the nut graph.

Leads: What goes in there?

1. One of the first steps in deciding which elements should be (or remain) in a lead or what approach you allow the writer to use is to determine the tone of the story. Is it offbeat or humorous, like the Highway Flasher or the parrot who ratted out the cheating girlfriend? Is it neutral, like an advance on a city council agenda or a highway closing story? Is it tragic, like the Rick Bragg Oklahoma City lead or a story on a soldier’s funeral?

Rule of thumb: Don’t invite a clown to a funeral unless it’s the clown’s funeral. (Look ma, no thumbs lead)

Leads: What goes in there?

2. After judging the tone, determine if it’s a news summary

lead or a delayed lead. That will determine how the 5 W’s and the H are placed.

3. If there is a dateline city, make sure to check the dateline

list in the AP stylebook to see if a state on country identifier is needed.

4. Now determine which of the 5 W’s and H are the most necessary.

Leads: What goes in there• Who: The celebrity/notoriety factor is a definite reader hook. Also,

the “who” is essential for attribution.

Immediate identification vs. delayed identification

-- In news summary leads, use names and titles only when the subject is well-known. When the subject is not well known, use a general title of some other identifier (“A Houston man was arrested and charged today…”). These are called blind leads, and often the identifier is hometown, age, gender or occupation of the subject. (Jennifer Wilbanks example.) Make sure the identifier is appropriate (“A black man was named principal of Cy Creek High School today…” or “A Vietnam veteran was charged with fraud in the growing Enron scandal.” The race of the person and being a Vietnam vet had nothing to do with the subject at hand.)

-- In delayed leads, the rule limiting immediate identification is relaxed; it’s common to use the names of lesser known folks in anecdotal ledes, etc.

Leads: What goes in there

• What: The what -- as in what happened -- is often the most critical element. In a sports story, the “what” is often the score. The “what” can also reflect conflict.

• When: The time element is an absolute must for news summary stories. Using “today” is OK, but AP prefers you use the day of the week rather than “yesterday” and “tomorrow.” Beware of online vs. print time differential.

• Where: Gives the reader a sense of place and provides a level of significance. Could be an important headline element.

• Why: It could be the most compelling element, but often is unknown at the outset.

Leads: What goes in there

• How: Somewhat related to why, and it often speaks to the process involved in what happened. Those “how” details could be the most compelling element. How did the Mets get Carlos Beltran and not the Astros? How did that seat belt bill become law? How Karla Faye Tucker and Clara Harris killed their significant others put those stories on the front page.

Let’s add three more questions to the list for

lead consideration:

Leads: What goes in there

• What’s next: where the action goes from here could be the most critical or interesting element. This element takes on a greater emphasis in the age of the Internet. We like to move the news forward. This morning’s breaking news is stale by evening and downright moldy for the next day’s editions.

• So what -- tell the readers why this matters to them, why should they care. Give them some perspective. What’s going on here besides what’s going on here?

• How many -- how many folks are affected or how many times something has occurred may be the key element. Also, how much -- as in big bucks can be important.

Multi-element leads

Sometimes you have a combination of two or more of these elements; those elements might have equal value or be necessary for clarity. Those kinds of leads can get bulky or confusing; editors beware. Also, for headline purposes, you may have to put one element in the main head (the what perhaps) and the secondary element (the why or how) in a deck headline.

Here are two leads with the “what” and “so what” elements:

CenterPoint Energy approved a fuel cost adjustment on Monday that will reduce residential gas bills, meaning Houston residents will save about $8 a month.

The Chicago Cubs defeated the Milwaukee Brewers 5-4 in 11 innings Tuesday to clinch the National League Central Division title.

Some other “stuff” for leads

• Datelines and wire credits: Helps you avoid clunking up your lead with where something happened. Check the dateline section of your AP stylebook on the style for datelines and which cities stand alone. Datelines tell the reader where the story originated; the writer was there. Datelines often include the wire service identifier. At the Chronicle, any story originating outside Harris County gets a dateline. Be aware of exceptions to the stylebook like Cleveland, Ohio, and Cleveland, Texas.

• Attribution: Often a key element, particularly in crime stories or other stories with sensitive elements. Unverifiable data, like death tolls, should be attributed.

• Quotes: As in heads, quotes can be an effective device. Generally, partial quotes are preferred to full quotes -- depending upon length, significance etc.

Alternative or delayed leads

Feature leads don’t follow the one-sentence, one-paragraph approach of hard news leads. They are more like the openings of stories in books. They set the direction and tone of your story. They can be a mini-story on to themselves. They are more conversational, and personal pronouns like “I” and “you” are found. They sometimes use sentence fragments. Know what I mean? There are more references to pop culture and feature creative devices like alliteration or onomatopoeia or homonyms or rhyme. If it’s well-written, anything goes.

Alternate or delayed leads

(See the Straight Leads and Alternative Lead handout)

• Question leads: OK, but allow them sparingly. Make sure there is a compelling reason -- like conflict or suspense -- to do so. Readers generally want answers not questions.

• Descriptive or color leads: Writer uses the power of observation to put the reader at the scene or in the situation.

• Ironic leads: There’s a twist or something unexpected occurs.

• Anecdotal leads: Telling a little story that leads to the big story.

• Teaser leads: Using a statement that makes little apparent sense initially, forcing the reader to read further. (“Roy Williams saw the receiver look him in the eye. That’s all he needed to know.”) Teaser leads and ironic leads can create suspense.

Editor decisions: How long should it be?

In general, the shorter the better. We are living in the age of hand-held electronic devices – the lead may have to fit on a tiny screen. In broadcast, all sentences limited to around 20 words.

Some editors and others have tinkered with various formulas for lead-writing. Experience -- and countless reader surveys – indicate that leads should be no more than 35 words. That is not an absolute, but it’s a good guideline. But what about those anecdotal leads? It can take several graphs to set up the nut graph. Just remember that paragraphs in the print medium are generally 1 to 2 sentences max to avoid looking “too gray” in those narrow columns.

Editor decisions: Common problem areas

• Overstatement: A lead that is not supported by the facts in the story. Or, in an attempt to be clever, the lead goes too far; it stretches or distorts the facts. (Hermann Goering lede)

• Missing the news: A news summary lead that fails to recognize the real news peg in a story. It’s a news story, not a book report. Don’t say the city council met; what did it do? Did you get the score right but miss the significance of the game? Avoid say-nothing leads: Somber and sad was the tone at the funerals for Texas’ tornado victims. So? What happened? Use description. Funerals are always sad aren’t they?

Editor decisions: Common problem areas

• Cliches: Yuck and double yuck. Today’s Fourth of July celebrations were hotter than a firecracker. Or this from a New Year’s story: Rain failed to dampen the spirits of Houston revelers as the city and the nation welcomed 1999. Changed to: Houstonians partied like it was 1999 on Thursday night -- because it was.

• Mass confusion: If you read a lead and then re-read it, and again end up saying HUH? then there’s a problem. HUH is not the desired response. Maybe it’s because of a factual error, or a comparison that doesn’t work. If you can’t write a headline off the lead, maybe the problem is with the lead and not with you. (Housing, Clinton garden leads)

Editor decisions: Common problem areas

• Excessive identification: Long and confusing identifiers can make a lead clunky. That’s a technical term. You can use general titles like “prosecutor” instead of “Harris County Assistant District Attorney” or “state environmental agency” instead of “Texas Commission on Environment Quality.” Also, avoid using unfamiliar or confusing names (use blind leads) of people and agencies, etc.

• Too many numbers: The human mind doesn’t assimilate numbers well; limit it to the score! Avoid using too many stats:

HISD officials said 62 percent of all fifth-graders and 73 percent of all 11th-graders passed the TAKS test, a 5 percent increase over 2003 figures.

Editor decisions: Common problem areas

• Underattribution: Leads that have accusatory, defamatory, criticism and other information requiring a sensitive touch need attribution. It’s not you making the accusation; it’s the police. “Who” is saying something may give weight to the message -- it’s one thing to say Democrats are criticizing Bush but another if it’s Clinton or Carter or even Kerry. Attribution should be used for sketchy information, like damage estimates or death tolls. (The initial reports from the Columbine shootings had 25 dead; actual toll was 16 including the 2 gunmen.)

• Anecdotal lead problems: see Newsthinking handout. Does it get to the news fast enough? Does the anecdote fit the point of the story? Is the anecdotal approach even needed?

Some examples …

What’s wrong with this lead?

From the front-page of the Chronicle … (the spelling and facts are right)

Once billed as the hot-button issue for the 2008

presidential race, pollsters and pundits expect

illegal immigration to fade from the spotlight

heading into the November general election.

What’s wrong? Find the real issue

Dangling or misplaced modifiers … a definition

A modifier describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a concept. A dangling (or misplaced) modifier is a word or phrase that modifies a word / phrase not clearly stated in the sentence – or modifies an unintended word / phrase.

The lead should read:

Once billed as the hot-button issue for the 2008 presidential race, illegal immigration is expected by pollsters and pundits to fade from the spotlight heading into the November general election.

Any problems here?

This was a Page 1A story written by a sports staffer. Sometimes the writer has to remember what section of the paper they are writing for.

CHRONICLE STAFF

The government has charged Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada with an error. Tejada is scheduled to appear in Washington federal court today to face charges of making "misrepresentations to Congress" when, in a 2005 interview with congressional staffers, he denied ever using steroids or speaking to anybody about them.

FYI: The criminal offense of "contempt of Congress" sets the penalty at not less than one month nor more than twelve months in jail and a fine of not less than $100 nor more than $1,000.

(From 6 Questions about Anecdotal Leads) One basic test is: Does the anecdote actually represent the greater truth of the story?

LAS VEGAS --This was the end of Martina Bauhaus' job interview for one of the most sought-after positions in town: She put on black velvet high-cut briefs and a tight, low-cut bustier. When her name was called, she walked out of the fitting room to pose in front of a mirror - and half a dozen silent, staring men who measured her up like cattlemen at a livestock auction. She didn't get the job. ''Maybe,'' said the slender 28-year-old, ''they didn't like my body in their outfit.''

Know what the story's about yet? You'll have to keep reading.

Bauhaus, a law student with a master's degree in public administration, wasn't seeking a job as a model, but as a cocktail waitress at the new Suncoast Casino. Nobody asked her the difference between a screwdriver and a rusty nail. She just had to have the right look. Indeed, despite the supposed ''Disneyfication'' of Las Vegas, widespread unionization and the arrival of politically correct corporate casino owners, the image of the sexy cocktail waitress remains as vital here as a one-armed bandit.

Here comes the point:

But while young drink servers are still willing to don revealing outfits, there's something of a rebellion afoot -- literally: growing discontent over the use of high heels. Led by a cocktail waitress named Kricket Martinez, members of an impromptu labor organization dubbed the Kiss My Foot Coalition are campaigning against shoes that they say can rack their bodies. After a rally in May, several casinos in Reno agreed to allow lower heels, and the loose-knit group now hopes to …

It's not just that the story requires 168 words to get to the point (the 6th graf). It's that most of those words (the first four grafs) don't lead you to the point. The story is about discontent over the use of high heels, but the anecdote doesn't contain a single reference to footwear. Thus, the story virtually starts over at the 5th graf by building a contrast so that the 6th graf will have something to bounce off.

Some critics of alternative ledes say this popular writing style often waits too long to get to the news. Here’s an example (Editing alternative ledes handout) that takes more than 145 words to get to the point of the story:

Eleanor Lago considers herself an intelligent, educated woman. She's read the information provided her by the Grand Rapids Township Board.

She's talked to friends and neighbors. And she intends to vote Tuesday in a special election that could determine the township's future.

''I just want to do what's best," says Lago. Like many residents, though, she's not sure what that is. An unusual battle is being fought in this smallest of Kent County townships, a

raggedy-shaped 16 square miles set cheek to jowl against the cities of Grand Rapids, East Grand Rapids and Kentwood.

The battle is not about zoning, the more typical flash point of local politics. Nor is it about leaf burning ordinances or other grass-roots laws in this suburb of nearly 11,000 people.

This battle is about what the community can do to keep from being nibbled to pieces by annexation. (nut graph found at last!)

The writer's intention was good: describing an intelligent voter who is confused about an important issue. The introduction would have been more effective, however, if cut in half. The writer could have eliminated some description, cut the cliches and avoided saying what the election was not about.

Mis-leads: How to fix

As an editor, when you encounter problems with a lead -- if you are having problems writing a headline on a story it may not be you; it may be the lead -- rarely should you attempt to correct the problem yourself. You are walking a political tight rope. Either consult with the assigning editor or the reporter, depending upon your relationship with them. If necessary, appeal your case to a supervisory editor. If you are right on deadline and don‘t have time for consultation, and there’s an embarrassing error (God’s name being misspelled) in the lead, by all means fix it. You are the gatekeeper and last line of defense.

PR and broadcast leads

• The PR writer/editor has the same concerns as their news counterpart, perhaps even to an elevated degree. The lead on a news release can often determine its life or death, whether it will be used or thrown away. It has to have a lead worthy of the free publicity it is seeking. Most news releases will follow the style and rules of new leads -- often, the more like a news story the release appears, the more chance it will be used. But veteran PR writers can step away from the news summary approach and used a delayed lead technique when warranted.

• The broadcast lead is much different; for one, it may be a transition vehicle from an anchor to the reporter, or from another story. Broadcast doesn’t focus so much on the 5 W’s and H -- having visuals helps with that. Still, the opening of a broadcast piece must have clarity and fit the tone of the story.

PR lede that needs help

A news release from the Cameron County DA’s office. What is the news here?

Brownsville, Texas – July 8, 2008 – The Cameron County District Attorney’s Office announces today that prosecutors Alfredo Padilla, Maria De Ford, and Joseph Krippel secured a conviction after a week long jury trial.

After four hours of deliberation, the jury of the 138th Judicial District Court found Melissa Elizabeth Lucio, 38, of Harlingen, Texas guilty of capital murder for the death of her 2 ½-year-old daughter, Mariah Alvarez.

Some bad leads / fixes

ORIGINAL:City Councilman Joe Roach fell short of asking for the resignation of Houston’s affirmative action director, who referred to him as a “midget” at a national mayor’s conference.

CHANGED TO:City Councilman Joe Roach on Wednesday criticized Houston’s affirmative action director for referring to him as a “midget” at a national mayor’s conference, but he did not ask for her resignation.

ORIGINAL: Al Gore speaks his scripted Spanish haltingly, with an accent thicker than Pepe Le Pew’s.

CHANGED TO:Al Gore speaks his scripted Spanish haltingly, slathered with a thick accent.

Some bad leads … that never ran

New York Daily News

WASHINGTON - The White House Friday brushed off insinuations it stiffed Mark Foley by not inviting the gay Republican to events with President Bush in Florida two years ago.

New York Daily News

NEW YORK - Ladies, unhook your bras and your purse strings -- silicone-gel breast implants are back.

Brunswick-Bath Times Record / Times-Standard

Except for a tragic accident, the 35th annual Bath Heritage Days parade went off without a hitch.

Your turn: Find the problems here

SUGAR LAND – Two Hispanic teen-age classmates of a Sugar Land girl were arrested Thursday in her slaying and will be tried on capital murder charges.

DALLAS – John Turner, a former assistant business

editor at the Wall Street Journal, has been named sports editor of the Dallas Morning News.

SHREVEPORT, Texas (AP) – A 15-year-old elementary school student has been suspended and booked for bringing a handgun to class, authorities said.

EndingsMany writers feel a compulsion to provide a happy ending to a story. For example: “The Cougars may have lost this game, but they will try to get on the winning track again next week when they host the Owls.” Or: “Susie Smith is living proof that dreams can come true.” Such endings are great for children’s books but not for news stories / news releases.

Instead consider these options:

a. Use a quote that encapsulates the nut graph or summarizes a key point / section at the end of the story.

b. Use the “what’s next” element if there is one. When will the council vote? Where does the legislation go next? Who will the Astros play next? What is the next stage in the trial?

c. Just end it! If there is nothing else to say, just pull the plug on the writer/reporter. It’s the inverted pyramid, stupid, we’re going to cut from the end anyway. Use your least critical fact, and stop.

Leads exercise

• Edit / rewrite these leads for a grade.

• Due next class