LaShon Harah avoiding evil speech -...

LaShon Harah avoiding evil speech

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LaShon Harah avoiding Evil Speech

By Elishiva Cook

Prov. 18:21- “ Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it

shall eat the fruit thereof.6

Prov. 31:26- “ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of

kindness.”6

James 3:18 “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the

greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in

word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths,

that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and

are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even

so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the

tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth

on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of

things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full

of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the

similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so

to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear

olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13 Who is a wise man and endued

with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye

have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.15 This wisdom descendeth not from

above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.17 But

the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good

fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make

peace.”6

“If you can’t say somthin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all”8

“The Hebrew term lashon hara (or loshon hora) (Hebrew הרע לשון; "evil tongue") is the halakhic term for derogatory

speech about another person. Lashon hara differs from defamation in that its focus is on the use of true speech for a

wrongful purpose, rather than falsehood and harm arising. Speech is considered to be lashon hara if it says something

negative about a person or party, is not previously known to the public, is not seriously intended to correct or improve a

negative situation, and is true. Statements that fit this description are considered to be lashon hara, regardless of the

method of communication that is used, whether it is through face-to-face conversation, a letter, telephone, or email, or

even body language. “ 5 This also obviously applies to any form of Social media.

“Of the 43 sins enumerated in the Al Cheit confession recited on Yom Kippur, 11 are sins committed through

speech.”11see page2 11-12 of this study for the text of these prayers.


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A definition that our ladies Bible Study group came up with upon discussion is very simplistic, but very true: “LaShon

Hara is words that lower the status of someone else.” One reminded us of the following: “Small minds discuss people,

Mediocre minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas.” She added: “Holy minds discuss the Father.”

“The Talmud tells that the tongue is an instrument so dangerous that it must be kept hidden from view, behind two

protective walls (the mouth and teeth) to prevent its misuse.”11

LaShon Harah is one of the greatest Biblical transgressions, if not THE greatest. The sages say that for three

transgressions one forfeits his portion in olam habah (the world to come). Murder, adultery, and idol worship, are great

sins, and yet Lashon Harah is equivalent to all three. (b. Erchin 15b)1

Men struggle more with the sin of the eyes, or lust. Women struggle more with the sin of the tongue, or LaShon Harah.1

Lashon Harah literally means: an evil tongue. Any damaging or derogatory speech, slander, gossip.

To Shmirat halashon is to guard the tongue or speech.

Forms of LaShon Harah

Rechilut or tale bearing. Gossip or any communication that causes animosity between people. This can include

but not be limited to the repeating of the gossip to the victim of the hurtful speech. It is interesting to note that

a rachil is a peddler of goods, but is often what a gossip is called in Judaism. I would propose that when we need

reminding of the act of LaShon Harah, that we gently say to one another “the peddler is coming to town” as a

gentle and coded reminder that we may be straying into LaShon Harah.

Slander, spreading rumors, or falsehoods is also LaShon Harah.

However, we must remember that even speaking the truth about someone else can be LaShon Harah, if we are

telling someone something that they had no need to know. Example: telling someone that a mutual friend had

been jailed in the past, but the person is repentant and reformed. (exception: sexual abuse convictions)

Telling someone something as true, that you do not know for certain or first hand is LaShon Harah, especially if

you are wrong, which we so often are. Example: the film that went around re 911 and George Bush and other

conspiracy theories.

At times, even complimentary statements can be LaShon Harah. For example: telling someone how beautiful

another is which can cause the listener jealousy or envy, whether that was the aim or not. “It is likewise

considered a "shade of lashon ha-ra" to say positive things about a person in the presence of his enemies,

because this will encourage his enemies to say negative things to contradict you!”11

We can even speak LaShon Harah against ourselves, and thus against God. Example: I am worthless, unworthy

of love, etc. we are God’s creation, made in His image. He died for us. To speak thus is to speak LaShon Harah

against our creator.

We commit the sin of LaShon Harah by merely listening to another speak LaShon Harah, even if we never repeat

it. Giving it an audience is just as grave.1 “The person who listens to gossip is even worse than the person who

tells it, because no harm could be done by gossip if no one listened to it. It has been said that lashon ha-ra


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(disparaging speech) kills three: the person who speaks it, the person who hears it, and the person about

whom it is told. (Talmud Arachin 15b).” 11

Various Methods of Conveying Lashon Hara

Whether spoken, written, or hinted with gestures or any other way (if you looked at the Rashi in Lev. 19:16 you saw

that winking (Prov. 10:10, Prov. 6:12-14, Prov. 16:28-30, Job 15:12-13, Ps. 35:19-20) was described as a characteristic

behavior of holchei rachil - those who go about slandering), any communication of Lashon Hara is prohibited. This also

applies if you weren't the writer of a piece disparaging someone. [Rabbi Pliskin elaborates on a footnote in the Hebrew

about the communication of Lashon Hara: showing a letter or other writing (e.g. a newspaper) to belittle its writer

would also be forbidden. I would anticipate that this would also apply to footage in a film or other media.]2 Facebook is

often rife with lashon harah, particularly about public figures. We must always beware of spreading LaShon Harah by

merely selecting “share” on social media..

Scriptures about LaShon Harah-

Lev. 19:16- “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood

of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.”6

Deu 24:8 – “Take heed in the plague of leprosy, that thou observe diligently, and do according to all that the priests the

Levites shall teach you: as I commanded them, so ye shall observe to do. 9 Remember what the LORD thy God did unto

Miriam by the way, after that ye were come forth out of Egypt.”6

Lev. 19:14-“Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the

LORD.”6

Lev. 22:32- “Neither shall ye profane my holy name; but I will be hallowed among the children of Israel: I am the LORD

which hallow you,”6

Lev. 19:16-18- “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the

blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke

thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy

people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.”6

Deu. 19:15-20-“One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at

the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established. 16 If a false witness rise

up against any man to testify against him that which is wrong;17 Then both the men, between whom the controversy is,

shall stand before the LORD, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in those days;18 And the judges shall make

diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother;19 Then

shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you.

20 And those which remain shall hear, and fear, and shall henceforth commit no more any such evil among you”.6

Because, unlike in a court for monetary matters, the testimony of a solitary witness is not binding, so that his testimony

damages the defendant's reputation without any beneficial result.4


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Ex. 23:1-3“Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.2 Thou

shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment: 3

Neither shalt thou countenance a poor man in his cause.”6 This commandment refers to keeping good company, which

includes those who will refrain from improper subjects in their discussions.4

Num 17:5-12 “And it shall come to pass, that the man's rod, whom I shall choose, shall blossom: and I will make to cease

from me the murmurings of the children of Israel, whereby they murmur against you.6 And Moses spake unto the

children of Israel, and every one of their princes gave him a rod apiece, for each prince one, according to their fathers'

houses, even twelve rods: and the rod of Aaron was among their rods. 7 And Moses laid up the rods before the LORD in

the tabernacle of witness.8 And it came to pass, that on the morrow Moses went into the tabernacle of witness; and,

behold, the rod of Aaron for the house of Levi was budded, and brought forth buds, and bloomed blossoms, and yielded

almonds. 9 And Moses brought out all the rods from before the LORD unto all the children of Israel: and they looked, and

took every man his rod.10 And the LORD said unto Moses, Bring Aaron's rod again before the testimony, to be kept for a

token against the rebels; and thou shalt quite take away their murmurings from me, that they die not.”6 (regarding the

jealousy of the other tribes over Aaron’s status as priest, especially Korah, who sustained a dispute4 and perished in this

incident.)

Lev. 25:17-“Ye shall not therefore oppress one another;(or simply: you shall not wrong one another) but thou shalt fear

thy God: for I am the LORD your God.” 6 (regarding the Jubilee year and the price for the land. Not taking advantage of

one another.) the Talmud (Bava Metzia 58b) explains that this means saying anything that will insult or anger someone.4

Deu 10:19-20- “Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt. 20 Thou shalt fear the LORD

thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.”6 If we love perfectly as He loved us

enough to die for us, then we should always want what is best for one another, and LaShon Harah of any kind should

never come into play.

Ex. 20:12-“ Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the

wicked. 8 And thou shalt take no gift: for the gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous.”6 You can

kill with your words.

Ps. 34:13-14- “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. 14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace,

and pursue it.”6

Ps 10:2-8- “The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor: let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined.”6

3 For the wicked boasteth of his heart's desire, and blesseth the covetous, whom the LORD abhorreth.4 The wicked,

through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.5 His ways are always

grievous; thy judgments are far above out of his sight: as for all his enemies, he puffeth at them. 6 He hath said in his

heart, I shall not be moved: for I shall never be in adversity. 7 His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud: under his

tongue is mischief and vanity. 8 He sitteth in the lurking places of the villages: in the secret places doth he murder the

innocent: his eyes are privily set against the poor.”6

Ps. 12:1-4- “Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men. 2 They speak

vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.3 The LORD shall cut off


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all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things: 4 Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips

are our own: who is lord over us?”6

Ps. 15:1-3- “LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? 2 He that walketh uprightly, and

worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to

his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.”6

Ps. 34:12-14-“12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? 13 Keep thy tongue

from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. 14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.”6

Ps. 39:1-3-“I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the

wicked is before me.2 I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred. 3 My heart

was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned: then spake I with my tongue,”6

Prov. 6:16-19- “16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying

tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 7 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An

heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19 A false witness that speaketh lies,

and he that soweth discord among brethren.”6

Prov. 10:31-32-“31 The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out. 32 The lips of

the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.”6

Proverbs 15:1” A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise useth

knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding

the evil and the good.4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”6

Prov. 17:19- “He loveth transgression that loveth strife: and he that exalteth his gate seeketh destruction. 20 He that

hath a froward heart findeth no good: and he that hath a perverse tongue falleth into mischief.”6

Prov. 18:21- “21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”6

Prov. 21:23- “ Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”6

Prov. 25:15-“ 15 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.”6

Prov. 25:23- “23 The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.”6

Prov. 26:28- “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.”6

Prov. 31:26- “26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”6

Is. 59:2-3-“ 2 But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you,

that he will not hear. 3 For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies,

your tongue hath muttered perverseness.”6


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Jer. 18:18-“ 18 Then said they, Come, and let us devise devices against Jeremiah; for the law shall not perish from the

priest, nor counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophet. Come, and let us smite him with the tongue, and let us

not give heed to any of his words.”6

James 1:26- “26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart,

this man's religion is vain. 6

1 Pet. 3:8-22- “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be

courteous: 9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto

called, that ye should inherit a blessing.10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from

evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.12 For the

eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them

that do evil.13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?14 But and if ye suffer for

righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;15 But sanctify the Lord God in

your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with

meekness and fear: 16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be

ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for

well doing, than for evil doing.”6

Lev. 19:17 - "You shall rebuke your neighbor and you shall not bear sin because of him." 6 This verse contains two

mitzvot: (1) stop someone from speaking Lashon Hara (among other interpretations), and (2) don't embarrass him in the

process. (Note: rebuke is not a simple topic, especially because the one being scolded may not always listen.4

Lev. 19:18 - "Love your neighbor as yourself." 6

Eph 4:24- “ And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 25 Wherefore

putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.” Avoiding sacrcasm

because it is a “funny” lie.

The Roots of LaShon Harah1

Jealousy/envy. Because we are jealous, we attempt to lower the person’s image by talking negatively about

him.

A desire to be recognized. Because we want to gain recognition of others, we reveal negative information about

others to elevate ourselves.1

Our group also added “Pride”, because much of the above factors come directly from pride.

Laws of LaShon Hara 7

1 . It is forbidden to speak Lashon Hara - "malicious words" about one's fellow man. That is, we should not speak ill of

him, even if we are telling the truth.

2. When asked, ever, with great insistence, to speak about a certain person, if we feel that we cannot do so without

disparaging this person, we should not, yield to this pressure, even if the one asking is that person's father or teacher.


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3. We should always refuse to tell, in similar cases, even if we incur our neighbor's anger or his sarcasm.

4. A person should not, speak Lashon Hara, even if his refusal to do so will cost him his job or bring him another harm.

5. If a person speaks in a derogatory way about someone, even if the speaker admits that he has exactly the same fault,

this, too, is considered Lashon Hara, both against himself and against his neighbor.

6. Lashon Hara is forbidden even if it is said jokingly, without intent to harm.

7. If one is speaking about somebody, but does not identify the person, if he lets it be understood who the person is, this

too, is Lashon Hara.

8. Just as it is forbidden to speak Lashon Hara, it is also forbidden to believe it when we hear it. One should not listen to

Lashon Hara, and we should avoid the company of those who habitually speak it.

9. If it is impossible to avoid hearing Lashon Hara, if possible, we should openly express our disapproval of its being

spoken. At the very least, we would avoid giving any nodding assent to it.

10. It is also forbidden to listen to a group speaking Lashon Hara.

11. The sin of speaking Lashon Hara, as with all sins, is even more serious when spoken by someone versed in Torah.

12. Idolators, murderers and adulterers are punished in this world, say our Sages, and they also have no share in the

world to come. He who speaks Lashon Hara, say the Sages, is worse than all three combined.'

13. Not only is it forbidden to speak ill of the person himself(Sefer Torat Chayim La'em Velabat) it is also forbidden to malign his

attire.

14. He who guards his tongue from evil saves his soul from calamity.(Midrash Rabba, 10)

15. He who by slander gives a bad reputation to his fellow man is not forgiven by Heaven.(Yerushalmi Yoma 48)

16. To speak ill of one's fellow man is tantamount to shooting an arrow at him and killing him. Usually, the victim of an

arrow never knows who shot him. (Midrash Shochar Tov)

17. Both he who speaks Lashon Hara and he who listens deserve to be prey for dogs.(Pesachim 118-1)

18. To speak Lashon Hara is a denial of the God of Israel (Erachim 15-2)

19. The sin of Lashon Hara contributed extensively the destruction of both the Temple and Jerusalem.

20. It is prohibited to keep company with those who speak Lashon Hara, or to live in their neighborhood. (Harambam, Hilchot

De'ot, Halacha 6)

21. A person who searches for faults in others, and discusses them usually has these faults himself. Such a person should

be avoided so that he has no opportunity to spread his slander.( Sefer Ma'alot Hamidot)


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22. A sin similar to Lashon Hara is "Rechilut", which means idle talk about other people, even if it is not derogatory.

Immediately after the verse in the Torah which prohibits Rechillut, the Torah states: "And do not stand idly by the blood

of thy neighbor". This juxtaposition implies that Rechilut can lead to bloodshed.

23. He who desires to repent for misuse of his power of speech, should confess to God, after becoming determined to

mend his ways: He says as follows:

"I have sinned by speaking Lashon Hara (or Rechilut). I regret it. I am ashamed of it, and I have decided with all

my heart not to relapse and do it again". Of course, if one has wronged his fellow man with improper words, one

must also seek forgiveness from the person wronged, if this is at all possible and would not aggravate the

situation.

24. Yalkut Shimoni on Tehillim relates an anecdote which illustrates the proverb "Life and death depend upon the

tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). A king fell sick, and his doctors prescribed that he must drink the milk of a lioness. One of the

king's courtiers offered to get the milk, despite the great danger. The courtier gathered ten goats, took them into the

wilderness, and wandered about with them until he found a lioness nursing her young. From a considerable distance,

the courtier threw one goat in the direction of the lioness, which she killed and ate on the spot. The next day, the

courtier moved slightly closer and threw a second goat. Day after day, he did the same thing, moving ever closer, until,

finally, he was able to approach the lioness himself and take some of her milk.

Pleased with his success, but extremely tired, the courtier stopped to rest on his way back and fell asleep. In his dream,

all the limbs of his body were arguing with one another, each one claiming credit for the great accomplishment. His feet

said that they deserved the credit and honor, because they had brought him to the lioness. His hands said that they

were superior because they did the milking. His heart claimed the honor because it was the heart which supplied him

with courage. Finally, the courtier's tongue declared that, in fact, all the credit was due it, because it had spoken to the

king in the first place to offer to bring the milk. All the limbs protested at the tongue's claim, but the tongue replied: "I

will show you that my power is superior to yours. (Otzar). It is forbidden to speak Lashon Hara - "malicious words" about

one's fellow man. That is, we should not speak ill of him, even if we are telling the truth.

Then the courtier suddenly awoke, and continued his journey back to the palace. When he arrived, and stood before the

king, to everyone's surprise the courtier said: "Your Majesty, I have brought you a dog's milk". Deeply offended, the king

gave orders to have the courtier put to death. All the limbs were quaking with fear as the hour of the execution drew

near. Said the tongue, "Are you convinced now that you are worth nothing? If so, I will save you from death", Before the

fearful moment arrived, the courtier begged to be taken to the king to ask for mercy. His request was granted, Once the

courtier revealed that, in fact, the milk was from a lioness, as doctors had prescribed. An examination showed that his

words were true, and the king forgave him.

"Life and death depend upon the tongue!"7


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Rules of LaShon Harah Toeles9

(“Toeles” means for a purpose)

(There are) conditions which must be fulfilled before one is permitted to relate loshon hora l’toeles, for a constructive

purpose. These are:

1. One must be absolutely certain that the information is accurate. Either one had to have witnessed the incident

himself, or he investigated the report and found it to be accurate. If one has second-hand negative information which he

wishes to relate for a constructive purpose, he must make it clear that his words are based on hearsay. “There are a few

exceptional circumstances when tale-bearing is allowed, or even required. Most notably, tale-bearing is required in a

Jewish court of law, because it is a mitzvah to give testimony and that mitzvah overrides the general prohibition against

tale-bearing. Thus, a person is required to reveal information, even if it is something that was explicitly told in confidence,

even if it will harm a person, in a Jewish court of law.”11

2. One must think the matter through and be sure that a wrong has actually been committed. Sometimes, what one

may think is a misdeed may in fact be permitted by halachah. One must be certain that his information and his

interpretation of the information are correct before the information can be related. (my example, one may observe a

person eating bacon on a sandwich, only to find out later that it was beef or turkey bacon.)

3. One must first approach the wrongdoer and attempt to persuade him to rectify his behavior. For example: A

storekeeper was seen cheating a customer. The first step would be to speak to the storekeeper and try to persuade him

to return the money. Only after this fails should one consider informing the customer that he was cheated.

4. One is not permitted to exaggerate in any way. This can be especially difficult in a situation where one is relating

information regarding an emotional issue.

5. One’s intention must be solely to help the person who is being victimized. If one harbors any ill will toward the

subject of the report, then he is not permitted to relate it for a constructive reason. (Of course, one should make every

effort to rid oneself of such ill will.) For example, for a storekeeper to tell a potential customer about his competitor’s

wrongdoing would have the likely effect of drawing this customer into his own store. In that case, the discussion would

be forbidden. In a case where one has constructive negative information to relate but feels that he has a personal

interest in the matter, it would be advisable for him to consult a rav (rabbi).

6. If one can effect the same result without speaking loshon hora, then he must use that option. If one wants to warn a

friend not to shop in a certain store because of the proprietor’s dishonesty, and there is a way to convince him to shop

elsewhere without speaking badly of the proprietor, then that option must be used.

7. One is not allowed to convey the information if this will result in the subject suffering a greater loss than the halachah

allows.9

8. In certain circumstances, such as to protect someone from harm, it is permissible or even obligatory to share negative

information. As there are many details to this law, one should consult a competent rabbi to learn what may be shared in

any particular situation.10 “A person is also required to reveal information to protect a person from immediate, serious

harm. For example, if a person hears that others are plotting to kill someone, he is required to reveal this information.


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That is another reason why the commandment not to go about as a tale-bearer is juxtaposed with "you shall not stand

aside while your fellow's blood is shed."11

9. “In limited circumstances, one is also permitted to reveal information if someone is entering into a relationship that he

would not enter if he knew certain information. For example, it may be permissible to tell a person that his prospective

business partner is untrustworthy, or that a prospective spouse has a disease. This exception is subject to significant and

complex limitations; however, if those limitations are satisfied, the person with the information is required to reveal it.” 11

Habitual Speakers of Lashon Hara 4

“The seriousness of speaking Lashon Hara relates to someone who incidentally includes something inappropriate in his

speech. But those who make it a habit to talk about others in a derogatory manner ("Did you hear.....", "Do you know

she.....", etc.) are labeled ba'alei lashon hara (lit. masters of Lashon Hara, in that such speech is an integral part of

themselves), and their transgression is far more severe. They regularly create a chilul Hashem (desecration of the name

of G-d; cf. Lev. 22:32) because of their rebellious manner. Though they may view their activities as social tools, such

behavior cuts them off from many good things in the world around them. “

Examples of those who commited LaShon Harah in scripture:

Moses He spoke LaShon Harah against the Jews: Exodus 4:1 “And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not

believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The LORD hath not appeared unto thee. 2 And the LORD said

unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod. 3 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the

ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it. 4 And the LORD said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand,

and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand: 5 That they may believe

that the LORD God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath appeared unto

thee. 6 And the LORD said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy bosom. And he put his hand into his

bosom: and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow.” Many Rabbis believe that this instance of

Leprosy was a warning to Moses against speaking ill of his people.

Another example of leprosy coming upon someone as a result of LaShon Harah is Miriam, sister of Moses: Numbers

12:1” And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had

married an Ethiopian woman. 2 And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also

by us? And the LORD heard it. 3 (Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the

earth.) 4 And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the

tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out. 5 And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and

stood in the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth. 6 And he said, Hear now my

words: If there be a prophet among you, I the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him

in a dream. 7 My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house. 8 With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even

apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid

to speak against my servant Moses? 9 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed. 10 And

the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon

Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous. 11 And Aaron said unto Moses, Alas, my lord, I beseech thee, lay not the sin upon

us, wherein we have done foolishly, and wherein we have sinned. 12 Let her not be as one dead, of whom the flesh is half

consumed when he cometh out of his mother's womb. 13 And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I


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beseech thee. 14 And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven

days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again. 15 And Miriam was shut

out from the camp seven days: and the people journeyed not till Miriam was brought in again.” The sages teach that

Aaron was also punished for listening, but not a severely.

HaSatan in the garden: Gen 2:4-“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For God doth know that

in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” (he was made

to crawl on his belly and eat the dust of the Earth.)

Doeg the Edomite: 1 Sam 21-22; Psalm 34- Doeg is an example of one who spoke the truth, but did so to cause a

problem between two people. Indeed, he did not tell the whole story, or understand what really happened. 1 Sam 22: 9

“Then answered Doeg the Edomite, which was set over the servants of Saul, and said, I saw the son of Jesse coming to

Nob, to Ahimelech the son of Ahitub. 10 And he enquired of the LORD for him, and gave him victuals, and gave him

the sword of Goliath the Philistine. 11 Then the king sent to call Ahimelech the priest, the son of Ahitub, and all his

father's house, the priests that were in Nob: and they came all of them to the king. 12 And Saul said, Hear now, thou son

of Ahitub. And he answered, Here I am, my lord.13 And Saul said unto him, Why have ye conspired against me, thou and

the son of Jesse, in that thou hast given him bread, and a sword, and hast enquired of God for him, that he should rise

against me, to lie in wait, as at this day?” Doeg’s “information” caused Saul to demand the death of Ahimelech and the

priests. Ps. 34:1- “Psalm 52:1-4-“ {To the chief Musician, Maschil, A Psalm of David, when Doeg the Edomite came and

told Saul, and said unto him, David is come to the house of Ahimelech.} Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty

man? the goodness of God endureth continually. 2 Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.

3 Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Selah. 4 Thou lovest all devouring

words, O thou deceitful tongue.” 3 (see wiki definition page one.)

Haman: another example where someone “told the truth” out of turn to cause trouble. Est. 3:8 “ And Haman said unto

king Ahasuerus, There is a certain people scattered abroad and dispersed among the people in all the provinces of thy

kingdom; and their laws are diverse from all people; neither keep they the king's laws: therefore it is not for the king's

profit to suffer them. 9 If it please the king, let it be written that they may be destroyed: and I will pay ten thousand

talents of silver to the hands of those that have the charge of the business, to bring it into the king's treasuries.”

The spies who spied out the land: Num. 13:30 “30 And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at

once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it. 31 But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to

go up against the people; for they are stronger than we. 32 And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had

searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eateth up

the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature. 33 And there we saw the giants,

the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their

sight.” They thought they were speaking LaShon Hara Toeles, but in fact they were speaking LaShon Hara against

Adonai, who had promised to bring them into the land, when they basically stated that He could not.


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How to avoid LaShon Harah 1

Always judge others favorably. (Mt. 7:2-“ 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what

measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”)

Consider all things secret unless a person specifically says otherwise. “In Jewish law, all things are considered to

be secret unless a person specifically says otherwise. For this reason, you will note that in the Torah, G-d

constantly says to Moses, "Speak to the Children of Israel, saying:" or "Speak to the Children of Israel and tell

them:" If G-d did not specifically say this to Moses, Moses would be forbidden to repeat his words! Nor is there

any time-limit on secrets. The Talmud tells the story of a student who revealed a secret that he had heard 22

years earlier, and he was immediately banished from the house of study! (Talmud Sanhedrin 31a)” 11

Ask before repeating information. Remember:” Loose Lips sink ships.”

God’s help: when HaShem sees that we truly want to view His children positively, He will help us.

Practice 1 Corinthians 13- “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am

become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all

mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I

am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and

have not love, it profiteth me nothing. 4 love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not

itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked,

thinketh no evil;6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things,

hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;

whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in

part, and we prophesy in part.10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done

away.11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a

man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in

part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the

greatest of these is love.1

The Text of the “Al Cheit” prayer of Yom Kippur dealing with LaShon Harah12

The "Al Chet" confession of sins is said ten times in the course of the Yom Kippur services: Following the Amidah of the

afternoon prayers of the day before Yom Kippur; just before sunset on Yom Kippur Eve; and twice during each of the

following services--the evening service of yom Kippur eve, and the morning service, the Musaf service and the afternoon

service of Yom Kippur day--once at the end of the Silent Amidah, and once during the cantor's repetition of the Amidah.

You may recall saying “Al Cheit” throughout the recitation of these prayers for forgiveness by the leader of the service.

“Al Cheit” literally means “For the sin…”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You with an utterance of the lips.”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You through speech.”

“For the sin which we have committed before You by impurity of speech.”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You by foolish talk.”

“For the sin which we have committed before You by false denial and lying.”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You by evil talk [about another].”

“For the sin which we have committed before You by the prattle of our lips.”


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“And for the sin which we have committed before You in passing judgment.”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You by tale-bearing.”

“And for the sin which we have committed before You in passing judgment.”12

“….For all these, God of pardon, pardon us, forgive us, atone for us.”

Youi can see, by the number of these that refer to sins of speech that Judaism does indeed put great emphasis on the

damage and pain that can be caused by the sins of the tongue. As we said before, “Murder, adultery, and idol worship,

are great sins, and yet Lashon Harah is equivalent to all three.”13 These are just a few of the sins recounted corporately

on Yom Kippur. If you have never participated in a Yom Kippur service, and the laying bare of the soul that occurs there,

I would recommend you do so this year, it is truly humbling. I believe that it is very significant that we confess on this

day eleven times to sins of the tongue!

Wronging a Person through Speech11

Leviticus 25:17 says, "You shall not wrong one another." This has traditionally been interpreted as wronging a person

with speech. It includes any statement that will embarrass, insult or deceive a person, or cause a person emotional pain

or distress.

Here are some commonly-used examples of behavior that is forbidden by this mitzvah:

•You may not call a person by a derogatory nickname, or by any other embarrassing name, even if he is used to it.

•You may not ask an uneducated person for an opinion on a scholarly matter (that would draw attention to his lack of

knowledge or education).

•You may not ask a merchant how much he would sell something for if you have no intention of buying.

•You may not refer someone to another person for assistance when you know the other person cannot help (in other

words, it's a violation of Jewish law to give someone the run-around!).

•You may not deceive a person, even if no harm is done by the deception; for example, you may not sell non-kosher

meat to a non-Jew telling him that it is kosher, even though no harm is done to the non-Jew by this deception.

•You may not sell a person damaged goods without identifying the damage, even if the price you give is fair for the

goods in their damaged condition.

•You may not offer a person a gift or invite a person to dinner if you know that the person will not accept.

•You may not compliment a person if you do not mean it.

Ways to rectify LaShon Harah

“A Chasidic tale vividly illustrates the danger of improper speech: A man went about the community telling malicious lies

about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged


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his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, "Take a feather pillow,

cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds." The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple

enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, "Now, go and

gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can

recollect the feathers."11 This example does not mean that you should not try to rectify such a situation, but illustrates

how difficult the effort will be. Better to not find yourself in such a situation at all!11

Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm

they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.11

Case number 1: in this case no harm has been done to the subject/victim because the listener did not believe the

speaker.

1. Regret/remorse for ones actions

2. Confess one’s sin privately to God.

3. Commit not to repeat the sin in the future.

Case number 2: This case is when there has been harm done to the subject/victim and the victim is aware of who the

speaker is.

1. Go to the subject/victim and ask forgiveness. (There is no atonement [reparation for a wrong or injury] until the

person is appeased and forgives.)

2. Regret/remorse for ones actions.



Case number 3: This case is when there has been harm done to the subject/victim and the victim is not aware of who

the speaker is.

1. The Chofetz Chaim states that one must go to the victim and reveal his sin asking forgiveness. But R. Israel

Salanter make the case that the speaker should not go to the victim and reveal his sin because it could

potentially cause more pain to the victim. In this case The speaker should ask HaShem to please let the victim

find it in his heart to forgive the speaker, whomever that may be.

2. Regret/remorse for one’s actions.



Repentance for Listening to LaShon Harah 1

1. The listener must strengthen himself and remove the words from his heart so that he will not believe them

again.

2. The listener commits to himself not to accept any other Lashon Harah about one of his fellow people.

3. The listener performs private prayer and confesses this sin to God.

4. The listen commits not to repeat the sin in the future


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The following are my suggestions as well:

5. Commit to remove oneself from repeating the situation that seems to lend itself to Lashon Harah. For example if

a gathering of friends becomes a gossip session every time you are together, perhaps you should reconsider

attending such gatherings.

6. If it becomes necessary: Avoid spending unstructured time with a person who unrepentantly reports LaShon

Harah.1

My husband has a story he loves to tell. The meanest man in town died. No one liked him, he was terrible to everyone.

No one planned to attend his funeral until they heard that “Joe” was going. Joe was known for never saying anything

bad about anyone. In fact, he always had something good to say about everyone, no matter how difficult it could be to

come up with something. Curiosity overcame everyone and most of the town showed up at the funeral, convinced that

Joe could never come up with something good to say about this man! Joe stood over the casket and the whole town

waited with bated breath to see what he would say. He sighed and said: “He sure had pretty teeth…”

As one of our ladies pointed out at our study: He also could have said that he brought the whole town together!

Sources:

1.Sabrina Huckey of Emet HaTorah 2.Guard Your Tongue, Zelig Pliskin, Bnay Yakov Publications (2002) 3.Jewish Encyclopedia 4.Project Genesis (Torah.Org) Ethics of Speech

5.Wikipedia

6. King James Version of the Bible

7. HaRav Nissim Behar zt"l of Turkey 5719/1959 from his La Práctica del Judaísmo (Ladino)

8. Thumper’s rule- Bambi, Walt Disney Films

9. SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Laws of Loshon Hora 10:1-2

10. Chofetz Chiam, chapter 10

11. Tracy R. Rich, Judaism 101. http://www.jewfaq.org/speech.htm

12. www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/6577/jewish/Text-of-Al-Chet.htm 13. b. Erchin 15b

http://www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/6577/jewish/Text-of-Al-Chet.htm

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