Lap-Child page 24 page 29 - Amazon Web...

NPN’s Top 10 Tips to Start Your School Search.....page 9

Can I Afford to Stop Working?....page 29

The International Lap-Child.....page 24

Value of Postpartum Support.....page 19

2 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014

Bennett Day School is a new two-year-old - 8th grade progressive school that provides a collaborative culture to help nurture a child’s innate sense of inquiry and curiosity.

telephone: 312.BENNETT email: [email protected] address: 657 W. Fulton St.

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PARENT TO PARENTJill Chukerman, Managing [email protected]

Peggy Fink, [email protected]

Ellie Ander, Advertising [email protected]

Melanie Schlachter, Executive [email protected]

Christa Reed, Associate Executive [email protected]

BJ Slusarczyk, Operations [email protected]

Parent to Parent contains articles and information straight from our NpN member community. For information about editorial submissions, email [email protected]; for advertising, email [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

INSIDE THIS ISSUEOUR MISSIONConnecting a diverse community of families with the resources they need to navigate parenting in the city

From the Executive DirectorThere are so many choices when it comes to school search. Did you know that NPN started hosting School Fairs back in the early ‘80s? Today Chicago families have lots of options, along with the tools and resources to make better-informed decisions.

Looking for the perfect preschool or elementary school for your family? Save the dates for our fall School Fair events. Check out these brand-new features to help you gear up for the school days ahead:

• �My Directory: Select up to 30 schools and daycares, view them on a map and download to a new customized PDF to keep handy as you narrow down your list.

• School Fair Map: It will be easier than ever to visit the schools on your list at this October’s School Fair event with a comprehensive map highlighting our 130+ exhibitors.

• College Savings Workshops: It may seem like a long way off, but Bright Start College Savings will provide breakout sessions with helpful tips on things you can do NOW to start planning for college costs.

• Friends of CPS Group: Get ideas, share success stories and find out how parents involved in their Chicago Public Schools are helping to make their schools the best they can be.

In addition, stay tuned for our regular Chicago School Choice sessions and read our monthly School & Daycare Search Survival guide. Visit npnparents.org/schools for more info!

There are plenty of fun things to do in and around Chicago this fall. Visit our Calendar (npnparents.org/calendar) for play dates, new and expectant parent events, family festivals and more!

LEARN PLAyThe�International�Lap-Child�............... 24

Postpartum�Running:��Essential�Tips�for�a�Safe�Return�.......... 25

SHAREWhat�I�Needed�to�Hear��as�a�New�Mom�.................................. 26

Five�Stress-Reducing��Steps�for�Single�Parents�..................... 28

Can�I�Afford�to�Stop�Working?........... 29

Strategizing�Your�Community��and�Home�Search�.............................. 30

Education-Rich�Chicago:��More�Options�Than�Ever�for�Families�... 6

Five�Ways�to�Fundraise�Smarter��for�Schools�in�Chicago�......................... 7

NPN’s�Top�10�Tips�to�Start��Your�School�Search�.............................. 9

Avoiding�Homework�Battles�.............. 10

Five�Ways�Dads�Can�Get��Involved�at�School�............................. 12

Homeschool�Might�Be�the��Right�School�for�Your�Child�................ 13

NPN�Volunteers�................................... 5

Social�Snapshot�................................. 22

Upcoming�Events�.................. Back�Cover

Vol.�34,�No.�3,�2014

Photo courtesy Melanie Schlachter.

CAREThe�Importance�of�Being�Kind�........... 15

Recalls:�What�They�Are�and��Why�They�Matter............................... 16

Value�of�Postpartum�Support:��Sleep�Deprivation�and�Postpartum��Depression�........................................ 19

Toddlers,�Terrors�and�Tantrums�.......... 20


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NPN THANkS OUR VOLUNTEERS ClubsAndersonville-Edgewater ...........................................Laureen Anderson/Subha WiswanathanLakeview .......................................Christine Jordan/Miranda Byrd/Ekta Patel/LeeAnn KampferLincoln Park ........................................................................................................ Katie HardyLincoln Square-North Center .......................................................................... Jennifer GibsonLogan Square .................................................................................................... Wanda PerryNear West-South Side...........................................................Carolyn Sabzali/Meghan O’BrienNorthwest Side................................................................................................. Susanne GlasOak Park ...................................................................................................... Suzanne FeeneyOld Town-Gold Coast ......................................................................................... Briana HaferRoscoe Village .........................................................................Miranda Byrd/Christine Jordan South Side ........................................................................Alleeshia Williams/Carolyn SabzaliWest Town .............................................................................................................. Kelly FoxAdoption ................................................................................... Karen Malsom/Teresa HjerpeAttorney Moms ............................................................................................... Jennifer BauerDads .............................................................................................Tom Merritt/Ian SmithdahlDevelopmental Differences .................................................. Ellen Sternweiler/Kandalyn HahnElementary School Parents ......................................................................... Bernadette PawlikMoms BYOB Dinner Club .....................................................................................Missy FotjikMoms in Business ................................................................Katherine McHenry/Jenny PerilloMoms Over 35 ................................................................................ Marie Lona/Lisa MendellMultiples .............................................................................................................Erica ShererNew Moms Over 40 .................................................... Grace Geronimo/Sandra Langeneckert

Preemies ............................................................................................................. Angela FollSame Sex Parents ............................................................................................. Carolyn LloydWork from Home ................................................................. Amanda O’Brien/Sarah WenningWorking Moms ............................................................Amy Daleo/Lisa Vedral/Amanda Wiley

ResourcesLegal Counselor ..............................................................................................Heather Varon

NPN Board of DirectorsPresident ......................................... Jennifer Guimond-QuigleyVice President .......................................................Marie LonaTreasurer ..............................................Laurie Bauman NelsonSecretary .............................................................Jennifer FoutBoard Members.................................................Jay Annadurai Sarah Cobb Jennifer Groszek Neil Hackler Briana Hafer Christine Jordan Tom Merritt Kristin Myers Victoria Nygren Kevin O’Brien Alison Ray Hema Trukenbrod


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the administration, teachers and parents about the school’s trajectory. Frequently, change happens in the early grades, and a school’s turnaround efforts may not be evident from test scores alone. While most private schools have the greatest number of admission slots for children in pre-K, some start at Kindergarten and others have open spots in upper grades. More private school options emerge each year, focusing on a range of specialties, from special needs to progressive education, from global offerings to “reinventing education.”

If you have young children and love living in the city, there are many educational opportunities for your family. Start your research early by attending the NPN South Side and Annual Preschool and Elementary School Fairs (see back cover). Doing your homework now will minimize your anxiety, and investigating several school types will maximize your options.

Carolyn aberman is an attorney who works as a legal recruiter and school

consultant. She is a co-founder of Chicago School gpS, Chicago’s premier

resource for assisting families in their Chicago search for preschools

through high schools. Her three children attend two different schools that

fit their academic needs.

WITH A LITTLE kNOWLEDgE AND PERSISTENCE, fAMILIES DISCOVER THERE IS A SCHOOL fOR EVERy TyPE Of fAMILy AND CHILD.

EDUCATION-RICH CHICAgO: MORE OPTIONS THAN EVER fOR fAMILIES By Carolyn Aberman, NPN member since 2004

LEARN

New parents are constantly exploring ways to stay in the city after starting a family, but many are concerned about educating their children. While the culture, diversity, food and atmosphere of the nation’s third-largest city attract singles and young couples, the “fear” of the vast school system looms large when a newborn arrives. With a little knowledge and persistence, though, families discover there is a school for every type of family and child. From the many evolving public schools to the growing and varied private schools founded on different educational philosophies, Chicago has a school for you and your family.

For the youngest set, Chicago preschools offer a variety of philosophies, including Montessori, Reggio Emilia, play-based, environmental, strongly academic, religious, cooperative and many more. Some preschools provide all-day, five-days-per-week coverage, while others welcome your child for just a few hours a week. Many are free-standing and educate children only until or through Kindergarten, but those with an elementary component admit students at three or four years old and continue through 8th or even 12th grade. Public preschool programs have undergone changes but remain a good option for parents who live nearby. The majority of them are tuition-based and, although they do not guarantee admission to the elementary program, they introduce local families to their neighborhood schools.

The elementary years also have a growing wealth of options. Most public school programs start in Kindergarten (your child must be five years old by September 1), and accordingly many families do not begin their school search in earnest until the year prior to entering Kindergarten. Public schools that have been underperforming (or perceived to be) have been gaining support from local families and are starting to improve. You should visit your local public school (and nearby magnet schools) and ask

Photo courtesy Carolyn Aberman.


EDUCATION-RICH CHICAgO: MORE OPTIONS THAN EVER fOR fAMILIES By Carolyn Aberman, NPN member since 2004

fIVE WAyS TO fUNDRAISE SMARTER fOR SCHOOLS IN CHICAgOBy Karen Anderson, All for Schools, NPN member since 2014

LEARN

Partner with businesses: the good goes both ways. Many businesses are happy to support local schools. Sponsorship might be as simple as a sign in your dugout or as robust as the name of your new auditorium. Don’t overlook online options with national businesses. Retailers like Amazon have longstanding school referral programs that allow supporters to designate a portion of each purchase for the school of their choice. We’re using an online platform called AllforSchools.com that helps our supporters earn money through online purchases with a long list of retailers, from Groupon to Nordstrom.

Allow supporters to earn money by purchasing things they actually want. One family can buy only so much popcorn and gift wrap. The more options you give your supporters, the more appealing giving back will become. Parents feel their fundraising is more practical when they have a variety of options because they support the school by purchasing items they already wanted.

Leverage digital tools to help organize and conduct campaigns. A wider range of fundraising options means more to manage, but digital tools are available to assist with campaigns. Our partnership with All for Schools allows us to systematize our fundraising process and take it online. Supporters can shop through the website, make donations and track how much their school is earning online.

As raising money becomes integral to quality education, we must look beyond traditional methods to secure resources for Chicago schools.

Karen anderson is the director of LYDIa Urban academy, a private school

in Chicago for youth who need a nurturing environment. She was an

early partner with all for Schools, a Chicago-based fundraising platform

committed to helping parents make fundraising part of everyday life.

Many parents consider school fundraising a supplement that supports non-essential activities like field trips and athletics. Bake sales and gift wrap afford these “extras,” while the budget covers core functions. Unfortunately, a prolonged recession and cuts to Chicago school funding mean schools must redefine the role of fundraising.

My school, LYDIA Urban Academy, relies on fundraising for necessities including teachers, materials and supplies. Fundraising is always difficult, but its importance to our daily operations has made us more resourceful in our approach.

Try these tips to fundraise smarter for your family’s school.

Focus on fundraising activities that span the entire year. While annual events like candy sales and charity auctions can play a role in your fundraising, relying on them is limiting. Find opportunities for your school to fundraise year-round. This can be as simple as having piggy banks for loose change or establishing referral partnerships with local businesses. The goal is to continuously raise small amounts of money.

Make it simple for all families to get involved. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and the amount of time and money parents can commit to fundraising varies. Committed parents will do as much as they can to contribute. Schools should celebrate all giving, big and small. When parents feel appreciated, they are more likely to give in ways that work for them.

AS RAISINg MONEy bECOMES INTEgRAL TO qUALITy EDUCATION, WE MUST LOOk bEyOND TRADITIONAL METHODS TO SECURE RESOURCES fOR CHICAgO SCHOOLS.

Photo courtesy All for Schools.


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NPN’S TOP 10 TIPS TO START yOUR SCHOOL SEARCH

LEARN

8. Attend the NPN School Fairs. More than 100 public and private preschools and elementary schools send representatives to meet parents, giving you one-stop access to make personal connections, consider new options and determine next steps in the application process.

9. Seek out valid word-of-mouth recommendations. Ask your friends, acquaintances, neighbors and co-workers for their opinions on school options. Parents are usually willing to talk about their school, especially if they are particularly happy or unhappy with their choice. There is a plethora of free information available if you take the time to ask around for thoughts, advice, etc.

10. Remember, there is likely more than one solution for your family. Try not to get your heart set on one school. Spread your net as wide as possible. Many wait lists move and no decision is permanent.

1. Determine your family’s school search criteria. Consider factors such as cost, location, public or private, schedule, after-school programs, etc.

2. Go to the NPN School page (npnparents.org/schools): a. Check out upcoming School Fair details and RSVP. b. Visit the NPN Online School Directory and enter

your search criteria/must-haves to explore the right schools for your family.

3. Use the NPN My Directory to narrow your search:a. Save up to 30 schools on your list.b. View your schools on a map.c. Download your list to Excel or a customized PDF

to use as you go.

4. Dip into the NPN Discussion Forum. Gain access to our members’ thoughts about school search. Search within existing post categories such as “preschoolers” and “school days.” Or start your own topic!

5. Take advantage of CPS resources:a. Check out your CPS neighborhood school.

Identify your neighborhood school (schoollocator.cps.k12.il.us/) and talk to parent groups for firsthand feedback and plans for the near future.

b. Visit the CPS Office of Access and Enrollment (cpsoae.org) for information on magnet, gifted and enrichment programs.

c. Get updated information on Chicago Public Schools (cps.edu).

6. Attend NPN’s Chicago School Choice sessions. Panelists and school search experts discuss the process and answer audience questions. Space is limited (npnparents.org/groups/chicago-school-choice).

7. Reserve spots early for school tours and visitation days. Dates are usually available by September 1, and on-site contact with the school, students and administration helps facilitate your decisions.

MARk yOUR CALENDAR fOR NPN’S ANNUAL SCHOOL fAIRS Sep. 20South Side Preschool and Elementary School Fair Hosted by Hyde Park Neighborhood Club. Free and open to the public.

Oct. 18Annual NPN Preschool and Elementary School Fair A unique opportunity for NPN members to interact with representatives from 130+ public and private schools and enrichment programs. Hosted by Grossinger City Autoplex.

Visit the NPN Calendar for the latest event details and to RSVP.

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Electronic free hourSchedule some “free time” when your kids can watch television, use apps or text messages, but keep homework time free of those distractions.

Choices within limitsDo you find yourself nagging your kids to finish assignments? Try a different approach. Provide lots of choices (all of which you are comfortable with), such as:

Would you like to sit at the kitchen table or dining room table? Do you want to work on spelling or math first? Would you like to read in your bedroom or the basement?

These choices let children maintain a feeling of responsibility and control over their work and success but also set limits by offering only choices you are happy with. It is a win-win!

Try something different and fun; make homework seem less like a chore Try doing homework at a cafe, a bookstore or the library. If it’s nice out, make a picnic and read together in the sunshine. Or you can create an after-school homework group with other NPN families; parents and kids can get together to share a snack and help one another with homework.

Remember the value of life lessonsIf your child refuses to do a homework assignment, don’t get stuck in a battle; let it go. Dealing with the embarrassment of not turning in an assignment or perhaps facing the school consequence might be a more powerful learning tool than spending the energy to argue with your child about completing the assignment. Your relationship with your child is far more important than completing an assignment. You might say, “It’s a bummer that you will get in trouble at school for not completing this assignment, but that is the choice you made, and I won’t let it ruin our evening by getting into an argument about it.” Or simply say, “I love you too much to argue about this.”

Julianne Neely, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in child,

adolescent and family counseling. She co-owns Individual and Family

Connection (ifccounseling.com), a pediatric mental health practice in

Chicago. She loves the opportunities NpN creates for families to connect

and support one another.

In a dream world, your kids would come home from school, put their backpacks and shoes where they belong, then happily bring their homework folders to the kitchen table to eat fresh-baked cookies and begin their schoolwork!

While I can’t make your dream world come true, I can offer some tips on avoiding the daily homework battle.

Create a daily routineFind what works best for your family and stick to it. If you are busy with sports and other activities, it may be best to do homework after dinner. Or perhaps you like schoolwork to happen right when you get home. Make a schedule together, post it somewhere in your home, and keep things as consistent as possible. A consistent schedule leaves little room for argument: “I am sorry, but this is snack and homework hour, we don’t watch television until after dinner.” Or “I am sorry, but this is homework hour, the kids can’t come out and play until their free time.”

fIND WHAT WORkS bEST fOR yOUR fAMILy AND STICk TO IT.

AVOIDINg HOMEWORk bATTLES By Julianne Neely, NPN member since 2013

LEARN

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Participate in the day-to-day school prep. In some families, moms take the lead on the daily tasks associated with a child’s schooling. Don’t let this be the case at your house. Spend time with your child getting his/her backpack ready for the next day. Handle pickup and drop-off. Talk to your child in a substantive way about what he/she did at school that day, with open-ended prompts like “why” or “how,” not just “what did you do today?”. Listen to what they say and think of ways you can build on their interests together at home. Strike a balance with work, play, etc., but make an effort to be present in as many aspects of your child’s school experience as possible.

Join the school’s parent organization. All schools need support from the parent community. At Bennett Day School, we have a Family Association that helps plan events, coordinates communication among the parent community and more. We encourage moms and dads to connect with one another through this group and truly become part of our school community.

Spend time at school. Reach out to your child’s teacher to find out what you might do in the classroom. If you have an area of expertise to share with students, suggest a project or experience. For example, at our school, we have a “TinkerLab” where students work with teachers who have passions and skill in engineering, design and the arts as well as our parent community to explore and solve problems. We also invite parents to a weekly family lunch so they can be part of their child’s school day.

Think of all the learning that happens outside of the classroom. Children are always learning—inside and outside the classroom. Seek experiences that stimulate and follow the natural curiosities and intelligences inherent in your child. View the world as your family’s classroom. Incidental math through fantasy sports, cooking and other activities at home makes a tremendous difference in a child’s learning. The educational opportunities are endless!

Cameron Smith is father of two young boys and CeO and co-founder of

Bennett Day School (bennettdayschool.org), a new Reggio emilia-based

two-year-old-through-8th-grade independent school opening this fall at

657 W. Fulton Street.

As we help prepare our kids for school this fall, whether returning or for the first time, moms and dads might be wondering how to get involved in their child’s school life beyond drop-off, pickup and parent-teacher conferences. As father of two boys younger than five, I want to be part of my kids’ day-to-day school experiences, which will benefit us all. Children do better in the classroom when parents take an active role by meeting teachers, attending events and being present at school. As you plan for the school year, consider these ideas for being a hands-on part of your child’s educational experience.

Think of yourself as part of the teaching team. In the Reggio Emilia educational approach, the parent/family is a third teacher (with the classroom teacher and the environment). Families are experts on their children. By collaborating closely with parents, teachers become more adept at providing ideal learning environments and experiences for their students.

CHILDREN DO bETTER IN THE CLASSROOM WHEN PARENTS TAkE AN ACTIVE ROLE.

fIVE WAyS DADS CAN gET INVOLVED AT SCHOOL By Cameron Smith, NPN member since 2010

LEARN

Photo courtesy Cameron Smith.


HOMESCHOOL MIgHT bE THE RIgHT SCHOOL fOR yOUR CHILDBy Jeannette Srivastava, NPN member since 2014

LEARN

my life, which is that I do not need to have all the answers right now. I am enjoying these moments watching my daughter flourish—completely in love with learning. That is what will ensure her future success.

Homeschooling facts

• No registration is required to homeschool in Illinois. (isbe.state.il.us, hslda.org)

• Approximately three percent, or 1.77 million children, were homeschooled (K–12) in 2011–12. (nces.ed.gov)

• More than 1,000 colleges and universities accept homeschool applicants, including all Ivy League universities. (learninfreedom.org)

• Homeschoolers outperform their public school peers on nearly every academic and social measure. (home-school.com)

Jeannette Srivastava lives in Bucktown with her husband, daughter and

numerous pets. She and her daughter have volunteered regularly at Tree

House Humane Society for six years. Jeannette is active in her community

as a volunteer adult eSL teacher at St. Joseph Services and treasurer of

Friends of Burr elementary.

In my 20s, I had a vague idea that homeschooling equaled a mother sitting at a well-lit, large dining table with her three to seven kids reading chapters and answering questions from grade-level textbooks, acting as a quasi-teacher/tutor and alleviating their confusion if and when it arose during their (mostly) self-taught lessons. That’s not how our Chicago-style homeschool looks.

The “right” path wasn’t right for my childOur journey to homeschool started when I was inundated with Chicago’s schooling options. Like many parents, I joined the ranks of parents testing four-year-olds, quickly securing a spot in one of the top CPS selective enrollment schools and sitting back long enough to pat myself on the back for a job well done. Only a few short months later, I saw that the “best” school was not best for my child.

My daughter was succeeding academically and socially, but her love of learning was being drained out of her at school. I wanted a school that was more focused on my child’s unique interests and less lost in its own hall of mirrors. I felt disappointed. I did not want to sacrifice evening and weekend family time running to and from activities to make up for what was missing at her school. After spending two years in traditional “school,” we created the best school for my daughter and our family.

Our Chicago-style homeschoolBecause my daughter loves geography, we place that passion at the center of our curriculum, and other subjects branch from there. She has three amazing and passionate teachers (geography/history, art/science, Japanese/English) with whom she studies for a few hours each weekday at home, and we spend the rest of the time learning on our own in this amazing city.

Chicago has numerous homeschooling groups with easy-to-join email lists, most of which have active veteran homeschool parents who are eager to provide formal and informal support meetings for parents new to homeschooling or just curious about it. It’s possible to homeschool your child in Chicago without spending much time at home by taking advantage of the myriad learning programs at museums, libraries, parks and universities.

You may ask, “Are you going to homeschool all the way through high school? What about tests and grades? Aren’t you afraid you didn’t teach some important information?” The answers to these questions come from the way I view

I AM ENjOyINg THESE MOMENTS WATCHINg My DAUgHTER fLOURISH—COMPLETELy IN LOVE WITH LEARNINg. THAT IS WHAT WILL ENSURE HER fUTURE SUCCESS.

Photo courtesy Jeannette Srivastava.


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I needed to demonstrate to my kids the importance of being kind rather than just talk about it. Fortunately, I’ve found a nonprofit organization that allows me to volunteer with my toddlers in tow. Each month we participate in projects that offer parents and their children an opportunity to help another human being, from the nursing home residents we sing and dance with, to the moms and kids facing the brutal realities of homelessness and domestic abuse, to the Chicago Public School teacher who needs an extra hand preparing a classroom for a new school year. As volunteers, we may not be changing the lives of the people we meet, but we’re offering what we can to improve their day. And by modeling kindness, we may be changing the lives of our own kids. My children may be too young to truly understand the importance of our monthly outings with new friends, but I know they are learning the importance of being kind.

elizabeth Bushaw is a board member of the nonprofit organization

More Than Milk. She lives in Lincoln park with her husband,

three-year-old daughter ella and one-year-old son Jack.

Every parent has dreams for his/her child—some realistic, some ridiculous and some that are likely versions of their own unfulfilled goals. Sure, I want my children to be smart, motivated and responsible. But most important, I want them to be kind.

These days, it seems we’re constantly hearing about bullying, especially among adolescents. I’m not sure if it’s occurring more frequently or if we’re simply hearing about it more often. Regardless, it has made me realize that I can, and should, instill a strong value in my own children: people—all people—are worthy of kindness.

Modeling good behaviorI see it daily in Chicago traffic and once even witnessed a horrific scene in the Babies R Us parking lot: adults honking, shouting and cursing at each other because of a seemingly stolen parking spot or an inadvertent cut-off in traffic. And our kids see it, too. It’s common knowledge that children learn best when we expose them to, and model, certain behaviors. For this reason we sacrifice privacy in our bathrooms, repeat “please” and “thank you” hundreds of times a day and even choke down foods we don’t like to get our picky toddler to give it a try. So why not treat your fellow human being with a little respect and kindness? Not only is it a great example for your children—as well as anyone else who happens to be witnessing your behavior—but it’s the right thing to do.

I CAN, AND SHOULD, INSTILL A STRONg VALUE IN My OWN CHILDREN: PEOPLE—ALL PEOPLE— ARE WORTHy Of kINDNESS.

THE IMPORTANCE Of bEINg kIND

By Elizabeth Bushaw, NPN member since 2011

CARE

Photo courtesy More Than Milk.


The players The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is the federal agency in charge of ensuring the safety of consumer products, including most children’s products. To recall a children’s product, the CPSC has to partner with the product’s manufacturer and get the company to agree to a voluntary recall.

The recall The CPSC.gov website announces recalls immediately. Click on the recall notice on the home page, and you will see a recall summary for each recalled product, including the name of the product, the product hazard and other information pertaining to the recall. It’s important to consider all of this information to understand if the recall includes your product.

One of the most important parts of the recall summary is the remedy section. There are usually three remedies for recalled products: a replacement, a refund or a return. Right under the remedy section is contact information (usually an email address or a customer service phone number). Use this information to call or email the manufacturer.

What you can doDon’t get overwhelmed by recalls; there are resources to help.

• Sign up for recall alerts from CPSC.gov (delivered daily) or through KidsInDanger.org (delivered monthly).

• Access KidsInDanger.org from your smartphone to see recent recalls and search for specific products while on the go.

• You can help by filling out the product registration cards that come with most children’s products. Most people don’t realize these cards take only a moment to fill out, are free and will require the company to contact you directly if there is a safety recall of your product.

Laura Nikolovska has worked for Kids in Danger, a nonprofit in River

North working to keep children safe, since September 2012 and is

currently program director. She lives in North Center with her husband.

We have all heard about recalls, but since they don’t get a lot of attention, we may not be as informed as we could be. Here is a breakdown of what a recall is and how recalls impact the safety of our families.

The facts Two to three children’s products are recalled in the U.S. each week, but because these recalls receive very little marketing, most people hear about recalls only once a month. As a result, only 10 percent of recalled products are returned to manufacturers or corrected. We assume the vast majority of these products (90 percent) remain in circulation despite being recalled for safety hazards. Thus it’s likely we all have recalled products in our home and don’t realize it.

The danger What do recalls mean for your family? It means your children could be exposed to choking, suffocation or other risks you aren’t even aware are present in your home. With increased awareness about product recalls, you can help keep these potentially dangerous risks out of your home.

WITH INCREASED AWARENESS AbOUT PRODUCT RECALLS, yOU CAN HELP kEEP POTENTIALLy DANgEROUS RISkS OUT Of yOUR HOME.

RECALLS: WHAT THEy ARE AND WHy THEy MATTERBy Laura Nikolovska, Kids in Danger (KID), NPN member since 2011

CARE


A new mother who has symptoms of postpartum depression should take steps right away to get help.

• Talk to your health care provider for medical options.

• Ask for help for yourself and your baby.

• Don’t make any major life changes right after giving birth.

• Don’t try to do too much.

• Make time for yourself.

• Sleep when the baby is sleeping.

Join a support group. Get as much rest as you can and accept help when someone offers it. Connect with new moms groups, hire help if you’re able and don’t try to do it alone.

1. Epstein L., The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation, Newsweek 2010.2. Pearlstein T., Postpartum depression. American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology. 2009.

Sweet Dreams Infant Care is the premier Infant care agency specializing in nighttime infant care, sleep training, parenting classes and temporary daytime nannies. Its registered nurses, infant care specialists and postpartum doulas have been rescuing sleep-deprived families in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs since 2009.

Caring for newborns can be exhausting. A newborn typically wakes every two to three hours at night to feed. Get as much rest as you can whenever you can. Use family and friends whenever they offer, and ask for help when they don’t. Many new families follow the “job” to different cities when their babies are born. Being away from trusted family and friends during this time can cause emotional stress and anxiety. Adding physical exhaustion can carry a high price to our health.

Without rest our brains can quickly deteriorate. We may not realize the adverse effects of broken or inadequate sleep. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania restricted volunteers’ sleep to less than six hours a night for two consecutive weeks. Afterwards the volunteers said they felt only a small increase in sleepiness and thought they were functioning normally. However, their cognitive abilities and reaction time progressively worsened during those two weeks. By the end of the study, researchers found them as impaired as volunteers who had been awake continuously for 48 hours!1

Adults normally need between seven and nine hours of sleep a night to feel fully rested. People experiencing sleep deprivation for extended periods recognize their impaired judgment and performance. However, new parents consistently experiencing sleep deprivation in smaller increments may accept this as their “new normal” and not realize the detrimental effects on their brains.

According to the Mayo Clinic, our bundles of joy can cause a mixture of powerful emotions—as well as depression. Many new moms experience the baby blues after childbirth, including mood swings, sadness and crying spells. Postpartum depression is a much more serious condition and may appear as the baby blues on steroids!

Symptoms2 may include:

• Feeling incapable of taking care of yourself or your family

• Insomnia

• Intense irritability

• Overwhelming fatigue

• Lack of joy

• Crying

• Difficulty doing tasks

• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

NEW PARENTS ExPERIENCINg SLEEP DEPRIVATION MAy ACCEPT THIS AS THEIR “NEW NORMAL” AND NOT REALIzE THE DETRIMENTAL EffECTS ON THEIR bRAINS.

VALUE Of POSTPARTUM SUPPORT:SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION By Pat Porrey, Sweet Dreams Infant Care, NPN member since 2010

CARE

Photo courtesy Pat Porrey.


Again, I questioned my mothering skills: Why hadn’t I equipped my child with appropriate coping mechanisms? Why couldn’t she verbalize that issue before she went crazy? I ended up calling her doctor. Here’s what she told me:

• With night terrors and daytime toddler tantrums, less is more. Feel free to say, “I can see you’re having a rough time right now. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready to talk.”

• Provide time to process with your child after the episode. Eliana came to me afterwards and wanted to discuss it. But she needed 17 minutes to freak out.

• Night terrors and tantrums seem to correlate directly with being tired. Missed naps plus too much sun equals over-fatigued child, leading to potential breakdowns.

Now we go inside to take naps no matter the weather. And we pick our clothes the night before school.

Nawal Qarooni Casiano is a writer and literacy educational consultant.

She lives in West Town with her two young children.

Remember the first truly beautiful day we had in Chicago, when the cold weather finally broke, yielding to a quick, heavy heat? Everyone was out that day. I took my children—13 months and almost three years old—to three parks that day. We picnicked for every meal, relishing running around without layers. Who knew when we would have another day like it?

My kids were exhausted—that kind of tired you get from being outdoors all day, fatigued from playing under the beating sun, dirt packed under your nails. I assumed they would knock out early after a good bath.

But my toddler proved me so wrong.

Eliana woke up that night shrieking. She was cowering in the corner of her little bed, clawing at her eyes, screaming nonsensically and crying for Mommy and Daddy. We ran in to try comforting her, but she wouldn’t let us near. She yelled louder when we reached to touch her. Snot and tears covered her face as she half-rocked, half-dragged herself around the floor of her room, screaming things like “I want a new mommy!” and “Get away from me!” It was terrifying.

Unknowingly, my husband turned on the lights. We didn’t realize she was still sleeping. We continued our attempts to mollify her, but to no avail. We debated paging our pediatrician. Her night terror lasted 27 grueling minutes.

After she passed out (on her floor), we went back to bed, distraught. I was inconsolable. What had I done wrong? Was there a real problem with Eliana?

The next day, she didn’t remember a thing. I walked on eggshells, afraid she would blow. She did the following morning, while awake—without warning—kicking, screaming, again covered in snot. After 15 minutes, I left her in her room, unraveling. She came to me two minutes later, tear-streaked, trying to quiet her own heaves, and said, “Sorry about the attitude. I just didn’t want to wear that red turtleneck.”

WITH NIgHT TERRORS AND DAyTIME TODDLER TANTRUMS, LESS IS MORE.

TODDLERS, TERRORS AND TANTRUMS By Nawal Qarooni Casiano, NPN member since 2013

CARE

Photo courtesy Nawal Qarooni Casiano.


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Avoid too many layovers. Spending half your vacation in airports is a waste. Aim for at most one layover. Better yet, look for travel destinations that fly nonstop from your city.

Splurge on Economy-Plus or Business Class. We spend less once we’ve reached our destination. We shop at grocery stores rather than eat at expensive restaurants and skip a museum or two because we’d rather picnic outside. The best use of these “saved” funds is to upgrade your plane seats, even just on your way back. The excitement of the impending vacation will carry you through any Economy Class difficulties, but it is priceless to have a comfortable and relaxing journey back home.

Use airline lounges. Lounge access is free with upgrade or available for a one-time fee. Since international travel requires you to get to the airport two to three hours before departure, the airline lounge is a great space to spend that extra time. Most have children’s play areas along with free food and libations. If funds are tight, consider the lounge on your way back when you don’t necessarily know the facilities at that local airport.

Keep a short to-do list. Ask yourself if you would still have a good time if you didn’t go up the Eiffel Tower and instead had a picnic on the lawn below. Keeping up with an itinerary will not only exhaust you, but also make for a cranky child.

Pick a comfortable place to stay. The place should make you happy even if you had to stay inside all day (think bad weather). It should be in the area you plan to explore most. For hotels, choose one with a restaurant, bar, lounge and lobby on hotel grounds; for apartment rentals, choose one near restaurants and grocery stores. A nice view never hurts.

So squeeze in some international travel while it’s still free for your children and encourage their sense of wonder and exploration.

When not working as an asset manager in community development

banking, Chika gujarathi loves to read, cook and travel with her husband

and one-year old daughter. Family trips have included Hawaii, Toronto,

amsterdam, paris and within the continental U.S. She and her family live in

Logan Square.

SqUEEzE IN SOME INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL WHILE IT’S STILL fREE fOR yOUR CHILDREN AND ENCOURAgE THEIR SENSE Of WONDER AND ExPLORATION.

THE INTERNATIONAL LAP-CHILD By Chika Gujarathi, NPN member since 2013

PLAy

In airline lingo, a child younger than two traveling without his/her own seat is called a “lap-child.” Some might consider this an inconvenience, but I call it an opportunity to explore without having to pay for the newest member of your family. Domestically there are no fees for a lap-child, and internationally fees are nominal. Here are some travel tips for parents with wanderlust that extends beyond a road trip.

Start the passport application early. For children younger than 16, parents must apply in person (see travel.state.gov for details and exceptions). No matter how prepared you are, the passport office will invariably find something wrong (e.g., the passport photo) and tell you to correct it. Have patience and don’t wait till the last minute, which might result in extra costs and stress.

Pick a destination with a good medical system. In case of unexpected medical emergencies, there should be a reliable network of hospitals and pharmacies at your destination.

Photo courtesy Chika Gujarathi.


As a new mom and runner, I was excited to get back to running. I knew I was in no physical shape to compete after giving birth to my son, but I was anxious to use running as an outlet to have some “Mommy” time alone. I can vividly remember my first run. I knew it was not going to be pretty and set my goal to complete only two miles. Little did I know that was a lofty goal! I made it halfway and was ready for a walking “break.” Since my first postpartum run, I have gradually increased my mileage. Below are some tips that have helped me get back out on the road (and treadmill)!

Get your physician’s permission. Typically, you follow up with your doctor six to eight weeks post partum. At this visit, ask your physician if you can begin running again.

Start slow, run a short distance, and remember, it is OK to walk! Did you run or work out during your pregnancy? If so, you may have a better base than someone who did not, but you should still take it slow; your body has gone through many changes. Most likely your physician advised you not to participate in physical activity for six weeks after giving birth. Due to this inactivity, you have lost muscle mass (it takes only 48 hours of inactivity or decreased activity to start losing muscle) and cardiovascular endurance, so start slowly. Walking is OK!

Your body will feel different. During pregnancy, you had an increase in hormones—estrogen, progesterone, relaxin and others—which caused ligament laxity. If you breast-feed, you may continue to experience ligament laxity after pregnancy due to increased levels of progesterone. This increased ligament laxity creates more mobility in the joints, typically in the pelvic area, and may lead to pain in the lower back, gluteal area, pelvic bone or pubic bone. Physical therapy can help strengthen the muscles around the pelvis.

It is common for new moms to experience urinary incontinence. Talk to your physician or physical therapist about this. Kegel exercises are helpful in strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, which will help with urinary incontinence.

POSTPARTUM RUNNINg: ESSENTIAL TIPS fOR A SAfE RETURN By Mia Cleary, NPN member since 2013

PLAy

Talk to your pediatrician about running with your little one in a jogging stroller. Generally, you can start jogging with your little one when he/she has good head control, anytime between four and six months. Try to stay on a smooth surface and minimize bumps, since your baby’s head control is still developing.

Hydration is very important, especially if you are breast-feeding. Many jogging strollers have a place for you to put a water bottle, or if you are running without your little one, plan your route so there is a water fountain available.

Last but not least, enjoy this time!

Mia Cleary, pT, DpT, COMT has lived in Chicago for nine years. Before

becoming a mom, she worked at athletico as a physical therapist, treating

orthopedic injuries with a specialty in manual therapy. She now works with

athletico as needed but primarily stays at home with her son Max.

START SLOW, RUN A SHORT DISTANCE, AND REMEMbER, IT IS Ok TO WALk!

Photo courtesy Mia Cleary.


Stop. Put down the books. Close the apps. Trust him.

Ethan is hitting his milestones at his own pace, on his own time. I was the one struggling.

I have to stop and enjoy him more. Stop measuring his days by my baby apps and how long he naps. Start trusting him to tell me when he’s tired, when he’s hungry and, most of all, when he feels content and loved.

Too soon, he will be watched, graded and evaluated. Now is the time to enjoy him and all the changes, including the spontaneity of the no-nap mornings and the mealtime antics.

Along with warnings of no sleep, I wish someone had given me the advice I really needed: you have to trust your baby, but most importantly, you have to trust yourself as a mom.

Katy Nakashima is a stay-at-home mom to ethan, eight months old. Before

becoming a mom, she taught 5th grade in a private school downtown for

nine years. She, husband Jeremy and ethan live in Lakeview.

I WISH SOMEONE HAD gIVEN ME THE ADVICE I REALLy NEEDED: yOU HAVE TO TRUST yOUR bAby, bUT MOST IMPORTANTLy, yOU HAVE TO TRUST yOURSELf.

WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR AS A NEW MOM By Katy Nakashima, NPN member since 2013

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I was ready for motherhood. With almost a decade of teaching experience behind me, I smugly looked forward to Ethan’s idyllic childhood. I saw how my great students came from supportive, solid families. I was ready to put in the work for my family; what I didn’t prepare for was the worry and doubt that quickly overwhelmed me.

While pregnant, everyone told me how a full night’s sleep would become a distant memory. They were right, but what they didn’t mention was that I would second-guess every decision I made regarding his care. Should I put him down for his third nap? Should I try solids again? I should have used sunscreen at the park today. Can I use sunscreen on him yet? The doubts are endless.

Each milestone was an amazing moment, but it came with a sigh of relief. He had done it. That struggle was behind us. And struggle we did.

Ethan refused to eat solids for six weeks—six weeks of putting on a show at mealtimes, complete with props, to get him to open his mouth as I tried to shovel in the puree du jour. I nearly cried with relief when he finally ate bananas.

Napping was a disaster. I obsessively checked my baby app and compared it to the previous day’s naps. It gave me graphs and charts, as if I was following my stock portfolio. I constantly watched the monitor, my stomach dropping every time I saw him move.

I had parenting advice books piled on my nightstand. I’d Googled every problem and found advice from doctors for both sides of most issues. I’d pinned countless activities on Pinterest to help with everything from his emotional development to his fine motor skills. Still, the doubts remained.

In my former life as a teacher, I knew my students and knew how to help them when it was needed. I doled out advice to parents at every conference. Why wasn’t this easier? Then I realized what I would say to a parent in this situation.

Photo courtesy Katy Nakashima.


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Be careful what you text. In today’s world, you no doubt text your ex about pickup and drop-off times, colds, holiday schedules, activities and even trivial things that get under your skin. The brevity of the message makes tone difficult to convey. Many problems and grudges find their origins in a text message written hastily and later regretted. Before texting, you should pause and think—or maybe even call.

Think of your children’s needs first. Instead of thinking what “I” want or what “I” think is fair, pause and consider what would be best for your children. Unless your ex is the world’s most evil person (remember you chose this person as your children’s mother or father), your children are best served by having quality time with both parents. Similarly, both parents should have sufficient financial resources to provide a good home and appropriate standard of living. If you look at the world from your children’s perspective, all of you will have less stress and live a happier life.

Bryan V. Reed is a managing partner in the family law firm of Reed,

Centracchio & associates, LLC, where he handles divorce cases and issues

of child custody, visitation and support. Find out more at recent-law.com.

If yOU LOOk AT THE WORLD fROM yOUR CHILDREN’S PERSPECTIVE, ALL Of yOU WILL HAVE LESS STRESS AND LIVE A HAPPIER LIfE.

fIVE STRESS-REDUCINg STEPS fOR SINgLE PARENTSBy Bryan V. Reed; Reed, Centracchio & Associates, LLC; NPN member since 2013

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The many challenges two-parent households face magnify in single-parent homes. Unfortunately, when arguments with an ex become the norm, the stress can be unbearable. Adopting the following five steps can help reduce stress and make a positive impact on your everyday life.

Have a written parenting agreement. Just as good fences make good neighbors, good parenting agreements make good co-parents. Well-drafted agreements, like fences, mark boundaries and let you know where your rights end and your ex’s begin. Even with the best intentions, people often have differing ideas of what they think others expect and what they believe is fair. A thorough agreement spells out everybody’s rights and obligations and provides a blueprint to follow. While both sides are free by agreement to alter the parenting schedule on an informal basis, they otherwise comply with the written terms, thereby reducing discussion, arguments and holiday tantrums.

Don’t ignore real problems. Denial, procrastination and intimidation may cause you to do nothing when you encounter a real problem with your ex, instead repeatedly deciding to address it later, denying it exists or suffering through it out of fear. No matter what the excuse, ignoring a real problem will only make it worse because the bad situation becomes a “status quo” when you try to change it later. It’s best to deal with problems promptly and civilly either through one-on-one discussions or professional assistance.

Know the difference between problems and annoyances. You most likely do not know anybody who parents as well as you do. Truthfully, we all have our own parenting styles. Micromanaging the small “missteps” your ex makes will make your life one big headache, add stress to future interactions and increase the number of years your child is in therapy. There are hills worth dying on and others that are meaningless; recognizing the difference is important.


Then what?Once you have answers to these questions, you will be able to see on a large scale if staying home is a possibility. If it is, take time to think about other areas, such as:

• Decrease�in�retirement�savings�and�Social�Security�contributions. This won’t affect you in the short term but could impact your situation in retirement.

• Emergency�funds. You will want to establish an emergency fund—six to 12 months of mandatory expenses—before one spouse stops working in case the other spouse loses his/her job.

If staying home is not a current possibility, take a look at what you are willing to live without. By cutting back and building up your savings, you may be able to reach your goal within a year or so. When I was pregnant with our first child, we weren’t sure what we wanted to do, so we saved my entire income for the duration of the pregnancy. Not only did this give us a chance to see how it felt to live on one salary, it also allowed us to accumulate a nice nest egg, which we put toward our down payment.

Lisa Niser has been a tax advisor since 1994. She worked at two Big Four

accounting Firms before starting her own practice in 2003. She is an

enrolled agent, licensed to represent clients before the IRS, and holds a

master’s degree in taxation from Depaul University.

Such a BIG question! Whether you are expecting your first child or a subsequent child, this question is often tossed around. Whenever I am asked this question, I start by responding that there are many pieces to this challenging puzzle (financial, emotional, long-term career impact), and a parent should consider all of them when making such an important decision.

From a strictly financial perspective, I advise crunching numbers to determine two things:

How much money do you need?Go through your bank account and bills and determine how much you need to cover your expenses. Keep in mind that the costs with one parent at home may be different than with both parents working, so take your time to think through what your current costs are and what you think they will be if one spouse stays home.

Include expenses such as:

• Housing – rent, mortgage, assessments

• Utilities – gas, electric, water, sewer, telephone, Internet, cable

• Auto – car payment, gas, repairs, parking

• Insurance – health, auto, home, life

• Clothing/dry cleaning

• Food/dining out

• Vacations

• Local transportation and parking

• Gifts/parties – kids, holidays, teachers

• Child costs – classes, school, camp

• Personal care

• Medical – doctors, dentists

• Savings – retirement, college

• Taxes – income, Social Security, Medicare, nanny

How much money do you have to spend?Work with a tax advisor to prepare projections under various scenarios so you can see how much cash you will have available. Your tax returns will change if one spouse stays home so you shouldn’t consider just the take-home pay of the spouse who will continue working. You may be in a different tax bracket, or you might gain or lose deductions or credits.

THERE ARE MANy PIECES TO THIS CHALLENgINg PUzzLE, AND A PARENT SHOULD CONSIDER ALL Of THEM WHEN MAkINg SUCH AN IMPORTANT DECISION.

CAN I AffORD TO STOP WORkINg?By Lisa Niser, NPN member since 2003

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Photo courtesy Lisa Niser.


3. A visit paints a thousand words! No website can give you the vibe of a community. Play in the parks, eat at the ice cream joint, and walk the town. Live it!

4. Take notes. Create a separate page for every suburb or neighborhood you are considering. The simple act of writing something down makes you remember it better. But more important, when your spouse wants to bring a certain area back into play that you previously discarded, you can flip to that page and remind him/her of the reasons you took it off the list.

Things that may surprise youWe may hesitate to move because we’ve found our favorite restaurants, parks and places to shop within walking distance. But discovering new places can be fun! Consider exploring a potential new neighborhood or community in the city or suburbs; you may be surprised what it has to offer.

Karla Thomas is mom of two girls. While planning her family’s move to

the ’burbs in 2011, she experienced the hamster wheel of researching

communities, schools and home prices. She used her data- and process-

oriented background to fill a gap in the marketplace, founding Urb & Burb

(urb2burb.com) in 2013.

THE SIMPLE ACT Of WRITINg SOMETHINg DOWN MAkES yOU REMEMbER IT bETTER.

STRATEgIzINg yOUR COMMUNITy AND HOME SEARCH By Karla Thomas, NPN member since 2010

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Do you need a Zillow intervention?If you spend hours at night in your laptop screen’s glow looking at every house in your price range on Zillow and school reviews on greatschools.com, this is your intervention! I have been in your shoes. In 2011, my partner and I were on the waiting list to adopt our second child. Our first was a year old and not even walking when I started worrying about the schools in our area and thinking about where we should move. I developed a manic hobby called “Googling in circles.” As a real estate agent with a partner who was a 20-year education veteran, we should have had no problem deciding on the best place to live. No such luck! We struggled to get on the same page about what we wanted. Then we spent countless hours researching each area we were considering, but never found a quantitative way to pull it all together and compare.

Learn from my mistakes

1. Get on the same page. You’d be surprised how many conversations you can have about “buying a house” without discussing crucial information like:

a. How much of your savings are you willing to use toward the down payment?

b. What is your monthly budget? Do you both agree on how much of your income goes toward a home rather than savings or family vacations?

c. What’s your exit strategy from your present home? How much is it worth and how much do you owe? Can you rent it?

2. Create a system.

a. Decide what is important to your family and write it down!

b. Rank the items and divide them into “Needs” and “Wants.”

c. Think about needs and wants beyond the size and features of the house. Consider diversity, walkability, your hobbies, the length of the commute, etc.

Photo courtesy Karla Thomas.


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Annual NPN Preschool and Elementary School Fair

Grossinger City Autoplex 1561 N. Fremont, Chicago

NPN members get unparalleled access to the ONLY Chicago school fair that brings together more than 130 exhibitors in one location at one time! Turn to NPN to navigate school search in Chicago. NPN Members only.

South Side Preschool and Elementary School Fair

Hyde Park Neighborhood Club 5480 S. Kenwood, Chicago

Searching for a school can be an overwhelming process. Connect with preschools, elementary schools, child care providers and enrichment programs from all across the city. FREE and open to the public. RSVP today!

Halloween Around the World

GEMS World Academy Chicago 350 E. South Water, Chicago

Join NPN to learn about Halloween around the world, enjoying treats and prizes as you go! This event is low cost and open to the public.

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