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Dear Parishioners,

I hope the new year got off to a good

start for all. Thank you to Johnny Price

for bringing down a plough for us to

bless on the first Sunday in January,

and to all those who supported the Quiz

Night! This was great fun and brought

in valuable funds for the Treasure

Project, the application for which will be

submitted in May. This is to gain

funding for the building repairs and

community projects. Anything you can

do before then to make sure that our

application wins the National Lottery

Funding so that we can go ahead

would be great. Hannah Vernon is

writing our application and writing to

funders but we have to play our part.

So far we have £30,000 of the match

funding we need, but we have to raise

£70,000 so are hoping the grant

applications are successful, and that

the community will contribute to reach

that target. More on that before May!

The next big event for the Treasures

project is Saturday March 21st for a

Spring Spectacular in Kingsland

Church with the Hereford Military Wives

Choir, Weobley and Kingsland School

Choirs, Kingsland Church Choir and the

church Steelband.

Thank you also to all those who came

along to the Shanty Singers at the end

of January. The singers led by John

Amos bring warmth to any winter night

and that was certainly the case when

they sang for us. February sees a

return to a more normal programme of

events with Tea and Hymns on Friday

7th February at David and Lorna’s at

2.30pm, an opportunity to catch up and

sing a few hymns chosen by you, and a

coffee morning at the Rectory on

Thursday 13th February following the

morning communion service 10.30 –

12noon.

Sunday 22nd March is Mothering

Sunday this year, and we would like to

be able to sell small gifts to the pupils

at school to give to their mothers on

that day. If you have suitable items

(Surplus Christmas Presents etc.),

please bring them to the rectory.

I have been asked recently about what

is OPEN THE BOOK, which forms the

centre piece of our services on the 3rd

Sunday of the month. It uses the Lion

Storyteller Bible, that the children at

Kingsland Primary School

Kingsland News

February 2020

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have, and presents a dramatic version

of it. Sebastian Bowen and Philippa

Alexander head the cast and sort out

the drama (a bit like at the Crib Service)

and any youngsters who would like to

be part of this are very welcome. The

service is a place where all ages are

most welcome and if you fancy a

starring role in our next production

please let me know so I can feed you

into the system.

Come the end of February I will be

starting some Confirmation sessions –

for any who would like to affirm

publically their faith. Confirmation

services are special services at which a

Bishop is present and you can gather

your friends and Godparents and family

together to share with you this special

occasion. If you would be interested in

this please let me know .

And finally Friday 8th May is going to be

a Bank Holiday (instead of the Monday)

to mark VE day and we are hoping to

organise a Street Party to celebrate.

Please put the date in your diary.

Every blessing

Julie

MARTIN

CADWALLADER

BUILDING AND

LANDSCAPING

Extensions

Renovations

Groundworks

Hard Landscaping

Tel: 01568 782223

Mob: 07870355734

4

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Messy Church

January saw us searching the church for

jewels to stick onto our crowns, as we

remembered the journey and visit of the

three wise men to baby Jesus. We thought

about our journey so far in life and our

hopes and dreams for the future!

As we journey through 2020, we will be

looking at people from the Bible who met

Jesus and how it affected their lives.

February's Messy Church follows the story

of Zacchaeus meeting Jesus and how it

changed his attitude to money. As usual

there will be activities around the theme,

followed by a song, story and prayers

before joining together for brunch. We

meet at 9.30am on Sunday 2nd February for

about an hour in Kingsland Church. Don't

wear your Sunday best...prepare to get

Messy!

Wendy Maddocks

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Royal British Legion

Widow/Widowers Lunch 34 members, supporters and guests attended the 2019 pre-Christmas lunch. Our thanks goes to Anne and Val for making all the arrangements and to Emma, Terence and all at the Corners for providing, as always, an excellent meal at a most reasonable price. The well-supported draw raised £172 which is something of a record.

Branch Meetings The attendance at our meeting on 6th January was rather low for many reasons. However the draw raised £56 to get the New Year off to a good start. The next meeting is the usual social on 3rd February, where we hope for a better turn-out (weather permitting).

Poppy Appeal Organiser This is a final appeal for somebody to take over from Jan Nichols as the Branch Poppy Appeal Organiser. Unless we have a ‘volunteer’ (!) by the end of February, we will have to begin a hand-over to the Leominster Branch. Jan has done a first class job over the past years with a regular intake of well over £3000, and the Branch wishes to thank her for all her efforts and to thank her team of collectors.

Gordon Browne ( Chairman)

Terry Jones

Painting and

Decorating

Inside and Outside

Work Undertaken

For a Free Quote call

Terry 01544 267 861

Or 07906918875

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Parish Council Matters

Information on Kingsland Parish Council is available via the ‘Parish Council’ section on

www.kingslandlife.com. The full minutes of parish council meetings are published on this

website. What follows represents highlights of the most recent meeting(s) (since July, ’19)

and should not be considered as an official record. The official record is the agreed minutes

of the parish council.

Welcome to Parish Council Matters (#9).

1. s106 funded highway improvements: There is approximately £20,000 of s106 funding

from building developments that is available for highway improvement projects, including

further traffic calming measures, in Kingsland. The parish council have asked that this

funding is used to implement a 20mph zone outside the school, including flashing lights,

and traffic calming on the narrow stretch of the A4110 by Spout House/ Spout Lane,

Shirlheath, and on the approach to Hostel Lane from the B4360 at Cobnash and on Hostel

Lane itself. Balfour Beatty are currently reviewing the improvements “to provide the best

solutions for the available funding”.

2. Parish council budget and precept 2020-21: The parish council agreed the 2020-21

budget and set the precept for the next financial year at £16,000. Funding will support work

by the lengthsman to mow green areas by the church, a review of the neighbourhood

development plan, renovation of the telephone kiosk at Kingsland, and restoration of the

Monument. The agreed budget is available to view on the ‘parish council finances’ page of

www.kingslandlife.com.

3. Review of neighbourhood development plan: The parish council is setting up a new

steering group to prepare for a forthcoming review of the neighbourhood development

plan. Members of the public interested in joining the steering group can do so by contacting

the Clerk (clerk.kingslandpc@gmail.com).

4. New roundabout at Lawton Cross: The parish council understands that a new roundabout

is to be built at Lawton Cross later this year by Herefordshire Council. In preparation for

this, an initial consultation on a proposal to reduce the existing National Speed Limit to

40mph on various roads in the vicinity of Shirl Heath and Lawton Cross has been supported

by the parish council. A plan showing the proposals along with new signing and road

markings required should the scheme be implemented will be included in the forthcoming

formal public consultation on the proposed speed limits which is expected to happen by

Spring 2020.

The next scheduled meeting of the parish council is on Tuesday, 11th February, 2020. The

agenda will be published on kingslandlife.com, and on the noticeboard, a few days

beforehand.

The Clerk, Kingsland Parish Council

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Big Spring Walk &

Black Mountains Trek

Blow out the cobwebs

this Spring by joining St

Michael’s Hospice as

we explore our green and pleasant

land.

Whether it’s a gentle Sunday morning

stroll, or an all-day mountain hike,

we’ve got a walking adventure for you.

The Black Mountains Trek on Saturday

7th March is a challenging 30-kilometre

walk taking in the remote, dramatic

scenery of this renowned mountain

range. Marshalled by the Longtown

Mountain Rescue Team, you’ll reach

the prominent central ridge of the Black

Mountains offering superb views across

the Brecon Beacons National Park. End

the day at Longtown Village Hall where

a two-course meal awaits.

For something more gentle, try the

Hospice’s Big Spring Walk on Sunday

22nd March.

Choose from a gentle Sunday morning

stroll, or a longer meander. Set off from

Hereford Rowing Club on either a 2.5k,

5.5k, 12.5k or 17.5k walk. Each route

will head west towards Breinton,

returning to the Rowing Club along

riverside paths. It’s free to enter in

advance but we ask those taking part to

get sponsored for St Michael’s.

To sign up for Black Mountains Trek or

Big Spring Walk, visit www.st-michaels-

hospice.org.uk/events

Virtual Tour of Britain

A year-long exercise challenge

taking a group of St Michael’s

Hospice patients on a virtual tour of

Britain has been successfully

completed.

The Hospice’s Physiotherapy team

devised the virtual Tour of Britain which

allowed patients to take it in turns using

exercise bikes or treadmills to help

complete a 7,723-mile journey around

the British Isles – all without leaving St

Michael’s.

Starting and ending in the Cornish town

of St Ives – a favourite place for one of

those taking part – the journey lasted

throughout 2019, ending just before

New Year’s Eve.

The exercise helped improve the

cardiovascular system and

strengthened legs and arms.

Paul Broome. (Communications

Officer at St Michael’s Hospice)

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Charlie Dog’s Grooming Parlour Bathing Clipping Nail Cutting Canine Massage Human & Animal Reiki Professional Service Grooming since 1998

Please call

Keli Partridge on: 01568709190 or 07967005102.

7, Boarsfield, Kingsland www.cdgrooming.co.uk

Tom Hughes Carpentry

Covering all aspects of Carpentry & Joinery.

For a free Quotation:

01568 708933

07967 758322 Find me on Facebook to

see some examples of

my work

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The Secret Garden Beauty and Holistic Therapy Salon

Street Farm, Kingsland

Wide range of Beauty and Holistic Therapies available in a peaceful country setting.

Treatments are available for both men and women, and include

Facials such as Microdermabrasion to treat acne, fine lines and pigmentation

Wide range of nail services including gel colour treatments

Holistic Therapies include Reflexology, Aromatherapy and Hot Stone Therapy

All other beauty treatments from waxing to lash and brow enhancement are

also available

Over 20 years of professional experience and fully insured

For more information, please contact Rachael on 01568 708824/07786879320 or rachaelpudge@icloud.com

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Church Services in the Benefice for February

and at 10.00 am each Thursday said Holy Eucharist BCP

(check for venue with Julie Read or Jean Barbour)

Services at the Methodist Churches this month, at 11 am unless otherwise stated:

February 2nd

‘ A Mission Statement’ Kingsland

9th

Mr L Taylor Shobdon

16th Mr S Dalton Kingsland

23rd

Mr L Taylor Kingsland

There will also be an ecumenical Service of Holy Communion on

Thursday, 6th February, at 10.30 am at Shobdon Methodist Church

Sunday 2nd

February Candlemas

9.30 am Messy Church ‘Zacchaeus’ Kingsland

9.30 am Holy Communion Eardisland

11.00 am Sung Eucharist Kingsland

11.00 am Holy Communion Aymestrey

6.00 pm Evening Prayer (benefice) Eardisland Sunday 9th

February 3rd

before Lent

9.30 am ‘Open the Book’ Service Aymestrey

9.30 am Morning Prayer Eardisland

11.00 am Holy Communion (BCP) Kingsland

Sunday 16th

February 2nd

before Lent

8.00 am Holy Communion (BCP) Kingsland

9.30 am Holy Communion (CW) Eardisland

11.00 am Family Communion with Open the Book Kingsland

3.30 pm Holy Communion Leinthall Earls

6.00 pm Benefice Evening Prayer Kingsland Sunday 23th

February Sunday before Lent

9.30 am Holy Communion Eardisland

11.00 am Sung Eucharist (CW) Kingsland

Wednesday 26th

February Ash Wednesday

7.30 pm Benefice Holy Communion with ashing Kingsland

ROB MADDY BOILER SERVICES

OIL BOILER SERVICE AND REPAIR

AGA AND RAYBURN OFTEC REGISTERED

01981 251660 07903617303

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The Parish Diary 2020 February 3rd RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 7th Tea & Hymns 5, Highfield Close 2.30 pm 12th W.I. ‘Antiques are Fun Geoffrey Crofts Coronation Hall 8.00 pm 13th Coffee Morning Kingsland Rectory 10.30 am 22nd KMGT Trustees Meeting Coronation Hall 10.00 am March 2nd RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 7th SMAAAK Event ‘The Busquitos’ Coronation Hall 7.30 pm 11th W I. Hereford ‘Hotter Shoes Evening Coronation Hall 7.30 pm 21st Spring Spectacular Concert Church tba April 6th RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm May 4th RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 8th Proposed Bank Holiday Celebration of VE day with Street Party. Details tba. 13th W. I. Birthday Dinner tba 16th KMGT Progressive Supper Various tba June 1st RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 10th W.I. Co-op Inheritance Tax Coronation Hall 7.30 pm July 6th RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 8th W.I. Summer Trip tba August 3rd RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm September 7th RBL Social Quiz and Draw Corners 7.45 pm 9th W.I. ‘Owen Cawley, Blacksmith Coronation Hall 7.30 pm November 11th W.I. AGM ‘Weaving’ Coronation Hall 7.30 pm December 9th W.I. Christmas Meal tba (Editor’s note: Events for this item need to be submitted by 15th of preceding month with clear instructions on the entry – place, time, date & title are essential information. Where more than one month’s notice is given, items will automatically be repeated unless contrary instructions are received.)

Parish Church of St Michael & All Angels, Kingsland

Messy Church Sunday 2nd February, 9.30 am

Theme: Zacchaeus (Practical Activity, a short service with a hymn ,a prayer, and breakfast)

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Bed and Breakfast

With heated indoor pool available for guest use.

1 Family Room en-suite 2 Double Rooms

Mrs Heather Pickering

Gable Croft, North Road

Kingsland

Leominster

Herefordshire

HR6 9RZ

Telephone: 01568 708009 (Mobile) 07790770340

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Luctonians Sports Club Report

Since the last report, we have all enjoyed

the festive break. Just prior to this, the

1stXV travelled to local arch rivals

Stourbridge, where we have not won for

many years. The match proved to be a war

of attrition with Lucs leading 7-5 at half

time, despite being on the back foot for

most of the first 40 minutes. By contrast,

Lucs completely dominated the second half

exchanges and, much to the delight of a

huge and noisy army of travelling

supporters, deservedly secured victory 14-

10.

The first match after the break was

preceded by a splendid Vice-Presidents

lunch where almost 300 guests were

entertained by an excellent guest speaker,

the former Welsh International Steve

Fenwick. Hinckley, the visitors to

Mortimer Park, came on the back of a

number of good victories which had them

placed sixth in the League. As expected,

they were a well organised side and put

pressure on Lucs throughout the first half

which ended 10-12. Once again, Lucs

began the second half on the front foot and

following some enterprising play were

deservedly in the lead 20-12 with just over

ten minutes to go. At this point, Lucs

contrived to give away possession and

aided by some dubious decisions by the

officials gave away two late tries to lose,

disappointingly, 20-26.

In a clash of the titans, the 2nd

XV also

played Hinckley 2nd

XV for top place in the

“Reserve” League and following a “game

of two halves” came out on the wrong side

15-20. he 3rd

XV were also at home and

were outplayed by a strong Camp Hill 2nd

XV eventually losing 14-33.

On 11th Jan the 1stXV travelled to Chester,

who are also having a good season and in

the upper half of the League. A re-

organised Lucs side were competitive in

what proved to be an end-to-end first half

where they came out leading by 19-10.

Lucs again started the second half

positively and extended their lead to 29-10.

At this point the game changed and

Chester, now with only 14 men, rallied to

score three unconverted tries to make the

score 29-25. The final five minutes saw

Lucs frantically defending and managing to

hold on for a second away win on the trot

which moved them out of the relegation

zone, again much to the delight of their

many vociferous travelling supporters.

On 12th Jan, the U14s and U16s both played

their North Midlands Cup quarter final

matches winning 35-7 and 34-7

respectively, albeit in extremely muddy

conditions at Mortimer Park.

By the time you read this the 1stXV will

have played their next home match against

the runaway league leaders, Caldy, who

have convincingly won all their 17 matches

so far this season. This will have been

followed by an way fixture against the

youthful Loughborough Students who

currently are in the top four of the League.

A hard couple of weeks ahead for the Lucs

boys, but the young squad are making

positive progress and improving all the

time.

Dai Wuvesh (Huw Davies is a bit mixed up this month!)

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News from the Chapels

Great news: Sharon O’Connell, a former

Salvation Army officer, has now been

appointed as a lay pastor to ‘look after’ Rev

Deanne’s churches, Kingsland and

Shobdon included. She will be leading

worship more often at both Kingsland and

Shobdon once the current preaching plan

ends in February, Until then there will be

regular acts of worship at both churches as

usual, including the ecumenical Holy

Communion Service held on the first

Thursday of the month at 10.30 am at

Shobdon Methodist Church.

Requests for prayer: The observant

amongst you will have noticed what looks

like a mail box attached to the wall near the

front door of the chapel. If you, whether

you attend church in any form or not, have

a concern of any kind you would like us, as

a worshipping community, to pray about,

please write it on a piece of paper and post

it in the box. You may sign your name or

not, as you wish, but please make sure that

you write as clearly as possible so we can

understand you concerns.

Bible Study: ‘THE DIVINE

CONSPIRACY’ a DVD based study

course will be the basis of our group

meetings on Tuesdays, 11th and 15

th

February 2 – 3 pm. Everyone is welcome.

We finish in time to collect children from

school. There is no cost and you do not

need to bring anything except an open and

enquiring mind. Tea, coffee and biscuits

available at the beginning of each session.

Inspiration to Creation: Writing

workshops successfully started in January.

These take place on Wednesday afternoons

2- 4 pm. Do contact Fay Wentworth if you

are interested, on 01568708789 or email

faywentworth268@btinternet.com

The Parent and Toddler Group is at

Shobdon Chapel on Friday mornings. For

more details contact 07984302315

Church Lunch: The next Church Lunch

will be on 25th February, 12.30 pm at The

Angel.

The regular weekly Art Group is on

Thursday mornings. If you are interested in

joining ring Brian on 01544 388915.

Yoga: "Start Yoga from where you are

now." Mary Stephens’ Yoga classes for all

abilities are on Wednesday mornings.

Please contact Mary on 07769686259 if

you'd like to join or for further details.

Transport to services and other

activities: If you need a lift to attend

services etc. please contact me on 708992

or email: lmpitchford@btinternet.com and I

will try to organise this.

Lesley Pitchford

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O. Mabbort

Blacksmith

TRADITIONAL BLACKSMITH

Gates, railings, window casements,

hand rails, hinges and latches …

Contact Owen: Call - 01568708134 or 07971979223

Email o.mabbort@btinternet.com

or visit … The Dales, Shirlheath,

Kingsland

Website

www.omabbortblacksmith.co.uk

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Kingsland W I

Our Christmas dinner at The Corners was

very good indeed and in January we

enjoyed 'Cinderella' at The Courtyard. At

our meeting on the 8th Jan our speaker was

John Turrell on playground games. He

brought back childhood memories of games

we all used to play. Modern children still

play the same games but usually with

different words. John Turrell's interest was

sparked by 'The Lore and Language of

Schoolchildren' by Iona and Peter Opie

when he was doing his teacher training as a

music teacher. He then studied this subject

at the University of Worcester and found

that there were very few examples of games

from Herefordshire and Worcestershire. He

has since collected songs and games from

local schools. When on playground duty he

would listen to the games being played.

Now he visits schools and the children are

eager to give him any fresh chants or songs.

He also mentioned games of conkers,

marbles and skipping games and had

brought along a very long skipping rope. A

game volunteer demonstrated her skill. He

has examples of games going back to the

thirteenth century which were still being

used at the beginning of the twentieth, but

obviously with different words. The

rhythms stay the same but the words

change. This was a very interesting and

enjoyable evening. The next meeting on

12th February will be Geoff Crofts on

'Antiques are Fun' to which everyone is

welcome. (See Ad. above )

Pat Hughes

Kingsland WI Invites you to an evening with

GEOFFREY CROFTS WHO WILL DEMONSTRATE WITH HIS COLECTION OF ANTIQUES THAT

Antiques are fun KINGSLAND CORONATION HALL

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 12TH ‘20 at 8.pm

Raffle Refreshments £5

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World Day of Prayer.

This year we are praying for and

celebrating the lives of people in

Zimbabwe. We join together with people in

170 countries across the world to pray for

the challenges faced by women in

Zimbabwe and their hopes for the future.

The service is on Friday March 6th

, at the

Methodist Chapel, North Road Kingsland,

starting at 2.00 pm. The service lasts about

40 minutes and everyone is welcome to join

us for tea and cake after the service.

The World Day of Prayer is an

International inter-church organisation,

which enables us to hear the thoughts and

prayers of women from all parts of the

world. Please join us. We look forward to

seeing you.

Helen Webb and Lesley Pitchford

Steven Rees Traditional Upholsterer

Antique Furniture

Modern Furniture

Over 30 years’

experience

Free Estimates and

Advice

Hawthorne Cottage

Shirlheath, Kingsland

Herefordshire

HR6 9RJ

Tel: 01568 709435

Mob: 07927845655

Email: sreestradupholsterer.com

Shopmobility

We provide mobility scooters, wheelchairs and powered wheelchairs on a daily hire basis for anyone with permanent or temporary mobility difficulties wishing to visit Hereford, Leominster, Ledbury or Ross.

Please contact:

Hereford 01432 342166

Leominster 01568 616755

Ledbury 01531 636001

Ross 01989 763388

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Nature Notes – February 2020

In this most flowerless of months, there are still some welcome signs that Spring is on the way. Snowdrops are associated with purity and were planted around religious sites from the Middle Ages onwards. Varying in height, shape, size and colouring given a moist soil snowdrops will multiply into drifts. Due to its spreading habit, it is possible to see great drifts of nodding white flowers particularly in, and around, our woodlands and gardens.

It’s also worth stopping in damp and dark areas of woodland to admire ferns which are surprisingly green and lush at this time of year. Hart’s tongue fern has long, leathery fronds and produces spectacular displays particularly over old walls.

Our common hazel trees produce flowers (catkins) long before the leaves emerge. These monoecious trees grow male and female flowers on the same tree, the male catkins being big and obvious while the female flowers are delicate buds.

As the days finally start to get longer bare hedges and leafless trees provide an opportunity for woodland wildlife spotting. Roe deer may be seen along the margins of wintry fields.

The tree climbing nuthatch with its blue upper body and pale undersides may also be easier to see at this time of year as it scurries along branches like a small woodpecker. The “hatch” part of its name means axe or hatchet and comes from the sound of tapping of its beak on nuts (or tree trunks to winkle out insects) but the nuthatch’s vocal

range also includes clicks, metallic trills and a distinctive call of “tew, tew, tew”.

Fittingly, as it is the month of Valentine’s Day, you may be fortunate enough to see the great crested grebe’s incredible mating dance. These beautiful birds almost became extinct in the UK in the 19th century as their orange tufts were desired as headwear accessories. They are now a relatively common sight again on lakes and larger ponds and it is a real privilege to watch their dance, and well worth a wait in cold weather to see them perform. If the dance is successful the pair will form a lasting bond and both birds will commence raft building on which to nest.

Jackdaw

G. D. Lloyd

TIMBER CONSTRUCTIONS

The Workshop, Sodgley Farm Kingsland HR6 9PY

Exterior and Interior Carpentry

Bespoke:

Stables,

Garages

Workshops

Roofing

Timber Floors

Painting

Doors

Windows

Glazing

Tiling

Fencing

Decorating

For a free quotation ring Gary on: 07966 766963

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Kingsland Millennium Green Trust (KMGT)

Open Meeting There is an open meeting of the Trustees of KMGT in the Coronation Hall on Sat 22nd February at 10am. Please feel free to come along and if you would like coffee beforehand, that will be available from 9.30am. Copies of the agenda can be obtained by emailing kmgtsecretary@outlook.com or calling the telephone number below.

New Treasurer Required Following the resignation of our current Honorary Treasurer, after sterling work over the last few years, KMGT is now looking for a new Honorary Treasurer. The role involves keeping the books and records of the registered charity, paying any bills when invoices are submitted and ensuring that funds received are accounted for. It is not an onerous task and will not take up a huge amount of time. In addition to keeping the books and records, a short report needs to be prepared for the meetings of the Trustees and interested parties (about 5 meetings per year) and ideally the Treasurer will be available to attend those meetings. A basic understanding of book-keeping is required in order that KMGT can fulfil its obligations to the Charity Commission.

Expressions of interest should be sent to the KMGT Chair – Sebastian Bowen on wlsb@me.com or call his mobile 07831 636537. Alternatively emails can be sent to kmgtsecretary@outlook.com and they will be passed on.

It should be noted that the maintenance of the Green is totally funded by voluntary contributions received from within the Community. No funding is received from either the Parish Council or Herefordshire Council in respect of ongoing maintenance. The Trustees are extremely grateful for the continued support for the Green from the residents of Kingsland and the surrounding area.

Andrew Parsons (Hon Sec) Tel: 708592

Oil Boiler, AGA and Rayburn

For service and repair call:

Bill Moss Oil Boiler

Services

of Leominster, your local OFTEC

registered oil engineer. Replacement Oil Storage tanks supplied and

fitted.

Tel: 01568 611132 (Mob: 07711899062)

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This extract is from a piece submitted by Duncan Mapp, for which I am grateful. More

in future months! Ed.

PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence

is unexpected. Winston Churchill loved them. Eg.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you

hear them speak.

3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

5 ‘Knowledge’ is knowing a tomato is a fruit. ‘Wisdom’ is not putting it in a fruit

salad.

6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you

why it isn't.

7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called

research.

8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency', notify: I

put 'DOCTOR.'

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a

bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.

Advertising in the Kingsland News.

This monthly publication is circulated to every household in Kingsland Village (Print run 550) free

of charge. Advertising is accepted on completion of a form available from me, (Tel: 01568 708672)

from Kingsland P.O., or from the table at the back of the church, and payment should preferably be

by cheque to “Kingsland P.C.C. Bookstall Account”. or by BACS. Bank details are printed on the

form. Please return the completed form to The Editor at 5, Highfield Close, Kingsland, HR6 9RS,

or place in the ‘Hen Box’ at West Mead, or email noondr@aol.com

Fees for Advertisements Size

no. of insertions

1 6 12

Full Page £15 £80 £120

½ Page £8 £40 £60

¼ Page £5 £25 £40

⅛ Page £3 £14 £25

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