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KINGARTHUR&THEKNIGHTSOF

THEROUNDTABLE

BySAMPINNELL

DRAFTEIGHT:9/12/17

Rehearsaltext

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CASTWITHDOUBLINGSUGGESTIONS

Actorone: Merlin(alittlevain,butoldandwise)

LancelotduLac(gorgeous,dashing,noble)

Actortwo: Arthur(calm,patient,charming)

Actorthree: Kay(wellmeaning,stupid)

SirPellinore(veryloud,shouty,andfrightening)

ActorFour: TheLadyofthelake(ethereal)

MorganLeFay(charismatic,evil)

Guinevere(pureandbeautiful)

Messenger(amessenger)

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Sceneone

MERLIN(VOIXOFF)

MesdamesetMessieursdelaCourdeFrance,c'estunhonneurd'êtrevotreinvitéiciaujourd'hui.Certainsd'entrevousdoiventsurementmereconnaître.

Quoipersonne?Personnedutout?Ehbien,jesuisMerlin.LesorcierduroiArthur.Maissi,enAngleterre.Unpetitpays,étrangeetfroid,del’autrecotédelamer.Avecunenourritureimmonde.Certainsdisentquejesuislemagicienlepluscélèbredetous.PlussagequeGandalf,plusmalinqu’HarryPotter,plusruséque...

Bon,jepensequetoutlemondeconnaîtl'histoiredujeuneArthurquiaétécouronnépouravoirretirél'épéedelapierre.Jevaismaintenantvousraconterquelques-unesdesmerveilleusesaventuresduroiArthuretdesescélèbreschevaliersdelatableronde.

HmmpourquemamagiefonctionneJevaisavoirbesoinquevouscriez:Letthemagicbegin.Allez!Tousensembles!

AUDIENCE(INENGLISH)

Letthemagicbegin.

MERLIN

Ehbien,çamarche!!

ALL

We’reheretoenchantyouwithstoriesofArthur

AndhowhisbraveKnightsfoughtforEnglandsofair

Withmusicandsingingandactingandlaughter

Hismagicaltalesofadventurewe’llshare

ARTHUR

IplayKingArthur,thejustLordandMaster

WithgreatroyalbearingIissuecommands

KAY

AndIamSirKayhismostloyalofservants

ThoughIplayotherpartswhenthestorydemands

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ALL

YesheisKingArthur

Kingnowandhereafter

Fromthegreatstonehepulledoutthesword

YesheisKingArthur

Let’sraisetotherafters

Thetaleofourdashingyounglord.

LADY

Nowit’snotalljustmeninthisthrillingnewstory

There’splentyofactionforwomenheretoo

I’mdressingupasanumberofladies

I’mplayingthevillainandheroinetoo

ARTHUR

Solet’sfocusin,we’reabouttobegin

It’stimetoputmobilesandtabletsaway

We’vegotlotsofcostumesandalloftheactors

ForMerlinandMorganandArthurandKay

ALL

KingArthurKingArthur

Kingnowandhereafter

Hisdestinysaysitisso

KingArthurKingArthur

Withsingingandlaughter

Sonowlet’sgetonwiththeshow

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MERLIN

RevenonsàlacourduroiArthur.Çam’aideraitbeaucoupsivouspouviezjouerlerôledeschevaliersdelatableronde.ÀChaquefoisqueleroiArthurdira:areallmybraveknightshere?Toutcequevousavezàfaireestdecrier:YESMYLORD.Essayons…

ARTHUR

Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord.

MERLIN

Àlacour,ilyavaitbeaucoupdetravailpourunifierleRoyaumeetArthuravaitenvoyésesfidèleschevaliersàtraverstoutlepays.

Scenetwo BANNER:K INGARTHUR’SCASTLEATCAMELOT

ARTHUR

WelcomealltoCamelot.Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord!

MERLIN

Etj’aiuneexcellentenouvelle,monroi,l’audacieuxSirKayestrevenudesaquête.D’ailleurslevoilàquiarrive.

KAY

Hieveryone.

ARTHURWelcomebackKay.Howgoesit?

KAY

WellArthur,Ihavebeenfightingbravely,killingthemen-folkandburningdownthevillagesofyourenemiesinthenorth.

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ARTHUR

ButIdon’thaveanyenemiesinthenorth.

KAY

Oh.Well,youdonow.

ARTHUR

LetusalltakeaseatatthefamousRectangularTableofCamelot.

KAY

IwanttositatthetopnexttoyouArthur.

ARTHUR(asidetoMerlin)

Kayattheheadofthetable?!Surelysomeofourmorefamousknightshaveabetterclaim.....SirBedivere,SirGawain,SirTristan.

KAY

Yes,IamArthur’smostloyalfriend.Wegrewuptogether.We’relikebrothers.

ARTHUR

Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyousitsurely?

MERLIN

NowIthinkofit,Merlinthewisewizardshouldbeatthetopofthetable.

KAY

ThisistypicalofyouMerlin.

MERLIN

Andwhat’sthatsupposedtomean?

KAY(MIMICKINGHIM)

What’sthatsupposedtomean.

MERLIN(HEATEDNOW)

FortwopinsIcouldmagicyouintoatoad.

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KAY

AndifIwasatoadI’dstillbebetterlookingthanyou.

MERLINANDKAYARENOWFACINGAWAYFROMEACHOTHERWITHFOLDEDARMS,SULKING

ARTHUR

InfactIhaveanidea.Howaboutaroundtable?

KAY

Whatdifferencewillthatmake?

ARTHUR

Don’tyougetitKay?Ifthetableisroundthennooneisatthetop.We’reallequal.

KAY

TheKnightsoftheRoundTable.It’snotverycatchy.

ARTHUR

Ithinkit’llgrowonyouKay.IcommandthataroundtablebebroughttoCamelot.Merlin:canyoumakeitso?Usingyourpowerfulmagic.

MERLIN

OfcoursemyKing.Itshouldbewithyouin4to6weeks.

ARTHUR

Right,andallmyfinestknightswilltaketheirplacesaroundit.

MERLIN

MayIsaythatwewillneedtoleaveoneemptyplace.

KAY

Right,yesofcourse.No,Idon’tgetit.

ARTHUR

IstheresomeonemissingfromourcompanyMerlin?

MERLIN

Usingmygiftsofprophecy–

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KAYROLLSHISEYES

MERLIN

UsingmygiftsIcanseethatwewillonedaybejoinedbyaknightcalledSirLancelotandhewillbethegreatestknightofall.

KAY

Ohcheers.Charming.

MERLIN

IlfutdécidéqueleschevaliersduroiArthursiégeraientàlatablerondeetquetousseraientégaux.Commeçac’étaitréglé.Maisnousavionsunautreproblème:SirPellinoreattaquaitettuaittousceuxquisetrouvaientsursonchemin.Arthurdevaitfairequelquechose.

Scenethree BANNER:RoundTablemeeting

ARTHUR

Icallthismeetingoftheroundtabletoorder.AreallmybraveKnightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord!

KAY

We’reallhereArthur.

ARTHUR

SomethingmustbedoneaboutSirPellinore.HewillnotyieldtomyauthorityandheiskillingKnightsleftrightandcentre.He’samenace.

KAY

I’llgoandfighthim.Howhardcanitbe?

ARTHUR

Kay,IhaveheardthatSirPellinoreisamostfearsomeopponent.

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KAY

Don’tworry.Icanbeathim.I’mabrilliantknight.

ARTHUR

No-one’sarguingwiththatKay...

MERLIN

No-one?Really?No-one’sarguingwiththat.

KAY

You’veneverhadanyconfidenceinmeMerlin.

MERLIN

SirPellinoreisafearsomefighter.Mycounselistoavoidconflictwithhim.It’sjusttoorisky.TheysaythatSirPellinore’scastleisableak,lonelyandterrifyingplacefromwhichnomaneverreturns.

KAY

Soundslikeyoursister’shouse.

ARTHUR

AllrightKay!NoneedtoberudetoMerlin.

MERLIN

Welltobefairhehasapoint.Myadviceis:leaveSirPellinorealoneandsimplytelloursubjectstostayoutofhisway.

KAY

Wellthatsoundsprettycowardlyifyouaskme.

ARTHUR

NoKay.Merlinisright.Let’skeepeveryonesafe.ThereistobenofightingSirPellinore.DoImakemyselfclear?

KAY

YesArthur.Isupposeso.

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MERLIN

Good.It’snicewheneveryonelistenstomywisecounselforonce.Verysatisfying.

ARTHURISLEAVINGTHESTAGE

MERLIN

WhereareyougoingArthur?

ARTHUR

Me?

MERLIN

Yes,you.

ARTHUR

Errr...nowherereally.I’mjustgoingtopolishmyswordforabit.SoifyouknockonmydoorIprobablywon’tanswer.EventhoughI’lldefinitelystillbehere.Definitely.

ARTHUREXITS

KAY

Wellthatseemsfine.

MERLIN

You’renotsuspiciousatall?

KAY

Suspicious?No.WhyshouldIbe?

MERLIN

J'aicherchéArthurpartoutcejour-là,j'étaissûrqu'ilvoulaitaffronterSirPellinore.Jedevaistenterquelquechose…

Scenefour BANNER:S IRPELLINORE’SCASTLE

SIRPELLINORE

Whogoesthere?Whoeveryouarepreparetobebrutallykilled!

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ARTHUR

BraveSirPellinore,IamjustahumbleknightfromKingArthur’scourtseekingpassagethroughyourlands.

SIRPELLINORE

Right.Brutalkillingitisthen!

ARTHUR

YouwillnotallowaknightfromCamelottopassbypeacefully?

SIRPELLINORE

ThisismylandandIsaythathorribleslayingistheorderoftheday.Soletthebloodycarnagecommence.

ARTHUR

Sobeitthen.Wemustfight!ForthehonourofgreatKingArthurandtheroundtable.

THEYSWORDFIGHT.FINALLYARTHURISPINNEDTOTHEGROUND.

ARTHUR

Mysword!Ithasbrokenintwo.

HEHOLDSUPTHETWOPIECES

SIRPELLINORE

Hah!Sovictoryismine.NowIshallstrikethekillerblow!

HERAISESHISSWORD

MERLINAPPEARSANDRAISESHISWAND

MERLIN

Anthropothica,amargica,amaranthi.

SIRPELLINORE

Whatwitchcraftisthis?

SIRPELLINORESTRUGGLESWITHHISSWORDFROZENABOVEHISHEAD,BUTHECANNOTMOVE.

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MERLIN

IamMerlinthewizard,SirPellinore.Icannotletyouslaythisnobleknight.

SIRPELLINORE

Nonsense,I’veslainplentyofknights.What’sonemore?

MERLIN

ThisisnoordinaryKnight.ThisisKingArthur.

SIRPELLINORE

KingArthur?Isthistrue?

MERLIN

Itis.

ARTHUR

Itis.

SIRPELLINORE

ThenifyouaretheKingImustyieldtoyou.

SIRPELLINOREKNEELSBEFOREARTHUR

MERLIN

YouacknowledgeyourtrueKing?

SIRPELLINORE

Ido.

ARTHUR

Iacceptyourservice.Andlettherebenomoreslayingofourfineknights.

SIRPELLINORE

TherewillbenomoreSire.ButlookIhavebrokenyoursword.

MERLIN

ComewithmeArthur.Ihaveaplan.

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MERLIN

Ilfallaittrouverunenouvelleépéepourremplacercellequis’étaitcassépendantlecombat.J’aieualorsuneidéeetj'aiemmenéArthurprèsdeseauxd'unlacmagique.

Scene5 BANNER:TheMagicLake

ARTHUR

WhyarewehereMerlin?

MERLIN

WeareheretoseeiftheLadyoftheLakewillfavourus?Calltoher.

ARTHUR

Hellothere?FairLadyoftheLake,itisI,KingArthur.

MERLIN

Look,thereArthur,thereinthewater!

THEBEAUTIFULLADYOFTHELAKEAPPEARSHOLDINGASWORDALOFT.

ARTHUR

Theladyofthelake!

MERLIN

Itisher,indeed.

THELADYOFTHELAKEWALKSTOWARDSARTHURANDMERLIN

ARTHUR

SheiswalkingonthewaterMerlin!

MERLIN

ThereismoremagicinthekingdomthanjustmineArthur.

LADYOFTHELAKE

WhocallstotheLadyoftheLake?

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ARTHUR

ItisI.Arthur.KingofBritain.

LADYOFTHELAKEArthur,KingofBritain,Ibringyouthissword.ItsnameisExcalibur.

ARTHUR

Excalibur.

LADYOFTHELAKE

Itisthefinestswordinalltheland.Keepitwithyouandyouwillbesafe.

MERLIN

Thisisafinegiftindeedmylady.

LADYOFTHELAKE

AfinegiftforafineKing,Merlin.

ARTHUR

Thankyoumylady.Ishalltreasurethisalways.

LADYOFTHELAKE

GoodluckArthur.Iamsurethetimewillcomewhenwewillmeetagain.

THELADYOFTHELAKEWALKSBACKACROSSTHEWATERANDDISAPPEARS

ARTHUR

SheisbeautifulMerlin.

MERLIN

Sheisthat.Andshehaspowerfulmagic.LetusreturntoCamelot.

Avec"Excalibur"noussommesretournésàCamelot.Maintenantqu'Arthurétaitroi,Ilétaittempspourluidetrouveruneépouse.

15

Scene6

BANNER:Roundtablemeeting

ARTHUR

Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord!

ARTHUR

WellMerlin,whyhaveyoucalledameeting?

MERLIN

Itistime,myKing,thatyoutookawife.Akingmusthaveaqueen.

KAY

Ughh!Girls!What’sthepoint?

MERLIN

Don’tberidiculousKay!

ARTHUR

You’rerightMerlinwhoeverheardofaKingwithoutaqueen?AndIknowjustthewoman.

MERLIN

Goon.

ARTHUR

HernameisGuinevereandsheisthedaughterofKingLeodegraunce.

MERLIN

Well,sheisfromafineroyalfamily.

KAY

Butthat’snotwhyyou’vechosenGuinevereisitArthur?

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ARTHUR

Well......

KAY

No,it’sbecausewhenwesawheratthatfancybanquetyousaidandIquote:“wow,she’sincrediblyfit!”

ARTHUR

WellImayhavenoticedher..elegance…ifthat’swhatyoumean.

INARTHUR’SMINDSEYE,WESEEGUINEVEREDANCING,LOOKING“ELEGANT”

KAY

Thatisn’texactlywhatImean,no.

MERLIN

ImustcounselagainstGuinevere.

ARTHUR

Thisismywifewe’retalkingaboutnotyours.

MERLIN

Usingmygiftsofprophecy–

KAY

Ohherewegoagain!

MERLIN

UsingmygiftsofprophecyIcanseethatyourloveforthebeautifulLadyGuineverewillleadtoaterriblebetrayal.

GUINVERETHROWSTHEMENADISGUSTEDGLANCEAND‘EXITS’ARTHURSREVERIES

ARTHUR

CanyoubemorespecificMerlin?

MERLIN

Alasno.TheartofprophecyisamysteriousonemyLord.

KAY

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Theartofprophecyisrubbishifyouaskme.Merlinyou’realwaysprophesyingterriblethingsbutd’youknowwhatIreckon:everythingturnsoutallrightintheend.

ARTHUR

ForonceKayisright.

KAY

Yeah!ThanksArthur.Hangon,whatdoyoumean:“foronce”?

ARTHUR

GuinevereisthemostbeautifulwomanIhaveeverseenandshewillbemywife.

KAY

SlowdownArthur,youhaven’tevenaskedher.Whatifshesaysno?

ARTHURANDMERLINBURSTOUTLAUGHING

ARTHUR

OhKay,asifitmatterswhatshethinks.

MERLIN

Goodnessme,Kay.Wecan’thavewomendecidingwhothey’regoingtomarry.

ARTHUR

Merlin,makethenecessaryarrangementswithherfather.

KAY

Hurray!Aroyalwedding.Howexciting.I’mgoingtoneedanewtunic,andanewcloak,andsomeshoesandsomesortoffabuloushaircut.Iwanttolookgoodintheweddingtapestries.

Scene7

MERLIN

Ahhquelmariageroyal!LamoitiéduRoyaumeétaitlà.Lefestinadurédenombreuxjoursetdenombreusesnuits.SirKayapuenfinportersesbeauxhabits,Guenièvreétaittrèsbelleetilyavaitbeaucoupdejoie.Jepensequej'aitoujourslestapisseriesdumariagequelquepart.Ohoui,lesvoici:

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MERLINSHOWSUSSOMEPICTURESOFTHEWEDDING.(THEYLOOKLIKETAPESTRIES)

Oui,c'étaitunesacréefête.Demoncoté,j'avaisprisunapprenti.Quelqu'unàquitransmettremapuissantemagie.Etcetapprentin’étaitautrequelaféeMorgane,lademi-sœurd'Arthur.Unefemmeintelligente,talentueuseetférocementambitieuse.Commeonditenanglais:unevéritabledouleurdanslederrière!

Scene8

BANNER:MERLIN’SWORKSHOP

MERLIN

Morgan?Areyouhere?

MORGANAPPEARSINANAPRONHOLDINGAJARWITHSOMEROOTSINSIDEIT

MORGAN

Well,Merlin.Abouttimetoo.I’mhavingallkindsofproblemswiththismandrakeroot.Ican’tdoathingwithit.

MERLIN

Thatisadvancedmagic.Youarenotready.

MORGAN

Ohgiveitarestoldman.I’vehadenoughofyouholdingmeback.Iwanttolearneverythingyouknow.Youcan’tliveforeverMerlin.Doyouwantallyourmagictodiewithyou?

MERLIN

Nono.IagreedtoteachyouMorgan,Ijustwanttomakesureyou’relearningproperlyandunderstandingthetheoryofmagicaswellasthepracticalside.

MORGAN

Pah!Theory.Ihavenoneedofyourtheory.TimesarechangingMerlin.ButArthurandhisknightsarekeepingBritainstuckinthepast.MayIremindyouthatIamArthur’ssister.

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MERLIN

HalfsisterMorgan.Yousharethesamemother,thatisall.

MORGAN

All?All?Yeswesharethesamemother.WeshouldbecloselikeaproperbrotherandsisterandyetIamnotwelcomeattheroundtable.Whycan’tIsittherewiththeothernoblebornknights?

MERLIN

YouknowwhyMorgan.

MORGAN

Yes,becauseIamawoman.Itisnotfair.

MERLIN

ItisthewayofthingsMorgan.

MORGAN

Thenthewayofthingswillhavetochange.ArthurgetstorulethekingdomandImustcontentmyselfwithlearningmagicfromacrazyoldman.

MERLIN

ShowsomerespectMorgan.

MORGAN

LooktoyourgiftsofprophesyMerlin.Whatdoyouseeforme?

MERLIN

Ihavetoldyoubefore.Donotaskme.

MORGAN

Wellprophesythisoldman:onedayIwillsitattheroundtable,andtherewillbenomoreKingArthurandhisknights.IwillruletheKingdom!

THEREISATENSEMOMENTANDTHENMERLINBREAKSITBYLAUGHING

MERLIN

OhMorgan!Youdomakemelaugh.AwomanwillneverruleBritain.

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SONG

MERLIN(SPEAKINGINAGRUMPYOLDMANSORTOFWAY)

Themedievalworld’sfullofdangerthat’sgrave

It’snoplaceforwomenandgirlsI’mafraid.

Youcanlearnafewspellsjustaswellasyoucan

Butwizarding?Wellthat’sjobforaman

MORGAN(SINGINGSWEETLY)

Ohteachmeapotionandteachmecharm

Teachmesomespells,oneortwowhat’stheharm?

I’mfearlessandclever,I’lllearnallIcan

Icanmakemagicaswellasaman

Thereismagicintheair

Thereismagiceverywhere

Iwanttobendittomywill

Thereismagicintheearth

There’sbeenmagicsinceitsbirth

Andit’scallingtousstill

YesIbelieveinmagic

Andallthatitcando

YesIbelieveinmagic

I’mlearningitfromyou

MERLIN(SPEAKING)

There’spowerinmagicthat’scertainlytrue

Butwomenhaveplentyofworktheycando

Thecookingandcleaningmustalwaysbedone

Yourmagiccanjustbeahobbythat’sfun

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MORGAN

Youcandoyourowncookingandcleaningoldman

I’mlearningyourmagicasfastasIcan

Mypowersaregrowingwitheverynewday

Becareful,youdon’twanttostandinmyway.

Thereismagicintheair

Thereismagiceverywhere

Iwanttobendittomywill

Thereismagicintheearth

There’sbeenmagicsinceitsbirth

Andit’scallingtousstill

YesIbelieveinmagic

It’spowerfulandtrue

YesIbelieveinmagic

AndI’mlearningitfromyou

MERLIN

Verywell,verywell.Letusturntosomeofmyoldestspellsofpracticalmagic.Thosearetheonesyouwanttolearneh?Letmefetchmybooks.

MERLINEXITS

MORGAN

Iwillrulethiskingdom.Whateverittakes.LookoutArthur.Youhaveanenemy.AndIwillstopatnothing.

MERLIN(offstage)

ComeonMorgan!

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MORGAN(puttingonasweetsmile)

ComingMerlin!

MERLIN

Oui,j'auraisduêtreplusprudentavecMorgane.Jen’avaispasvusonpenchantmaléfique.Etiln’apasfalluattendrelongtempsavantqu'elleessayedemettresesplansàexécution.

Scene9

BANNER:MERLIN’SWORKSHOP

ARTHUR

Hello!Itisme:Arthur.

KAY

Andme!BraveSirKay.

ARTHUR

ItoldyouKay,thereisnoneedforyoutobehere.

KAY

ButIwanttomeetyoursister.

ARTHUR

Halfsister.AndyoumusthaveheardMerlintelltalesofMorgan,shecanbealittle.......difficult.

KAY

Whatdoyoumeandifficult?

MORGANENTERS

MORGAN

Arthur.Soyoufinallydecidedtovisitmeandyetyoudomethediscourtesyofbringingthisfoolwithyou.

23

KAY

Ohright,yes,Iseewhatyoumean.

MORGAN(toKAY)

Whoareyou?

KAY

IamboldSirKay.

MORGAN

AhyesIhaveheardtalesofSirKay.Theysayatcourtthatheisafool,amansostupidthathecanbarelyputonhisownfinetunicinthemorning.

KAY

Wellthanks,yes,Idohaveaveryfinetunic.(TOARTHUR)Younevertoldmeyoursisterwassopretty.Isthiswhyyou’vebeenkeepingusapart?Incaseshefallsinlovewithmeandcan’tcontrolherself.

ARTHUR

Wellnotexactly.

KAY(TRYINGTOFLIRTWITHMORGAN)

SoMorgan,Imustsayyou’reaveryattractivewoman.

MORGAN

Whatonearthdoyouthinkyou’redoing?

KAY

I’mjustsaying:you’replaguefree,I’mplaguefree.Seemslikeweweredestinedtomeet.

KAYKISSESHERHAND

MORGAN(DERISIVELY)

IseethatthetalesaboutSirKayarealltrue.

KAY(PROUDLY,MISUNDERSTANDINGANDTHINKINGIT’SGOINGWELL)

24

Alltruemyfairlady.

ARTHUR

SowhydidyouwantmetovisittodayMorgan?

MORGAN

Ohnothingreally.Justabrotherandhalfsistergettingtogether,nothingfunnyaboutit.

MayIofferyousomerefreshmentafteryourlongjourney?

KAY

Oohyesplease!

MORGANMOVESAWAYANDPLACESTHREEIDENTICALGOBLETSONAROUNDTRAY

MORGAN(MUTTERINGTOHERSELF)

Right.Itdoesn’tmatterthatKay’shere.Myplanwillstillwork.DrugArthurandKaywiththepowerfulsleepingdraftandthentiethemup.LeavingmetoridetoCamelotandsayIwillonlyreleaseArthurifIamgivenaseatattheroundtable.

SHETAKESAPOTION

MORGAN

Right.Somesleepingpotioninthefirstcup,somesleepingpotioninthesecondcup,thecupwithnosleepingpotioninitmarkedwithaspoon.

SHEPUTSASPOONINTOONEOFTHECUPS

MORGAN

Herewearegentlemen.Lovelyrefreshingdrinksforusall.

KAYREACHESOUTANDGRABSTHECUPWITHTHESPOON

MORGAN

No!Notthatone!

ARTHURWhatdoyoumean?

25

MORGAN

Ohernothing.

KAY

D’youknowArthur.I’vebeenmeaningtomentionthisbuteverytimeItakeadrinklatelyIgetaterriblepaininmyeye.

ARTHUR

Really?

KAYGOESTOTAKEASIPOFTHEDRINKANDTHESPOONPOKESHIMINTHEEYE

KAY

Ow!!Yesjustlikethat.

ARTHUR

It’sthespoonKay.Takeitoutofthecup!

KAYPUTSTHECUPBACKONMORGAN’STRAYBUTINADIFFERENTPLACE,REMOVESTHESPOON,HOLDSITINHISHANDANDLOOKSROUNDANXIOUSLYFORSOMEWHERETOPUTIT.HECAN’TFINDANYWHERESODROPSITINTOTHEMIDDLECUP

KAY

GoodthinkingArthur.Anothermedicalmysterysolvedeh?

ARTHURREACHESHISHANDTOWARDSTHEGOBLETWHICHNOWHASASPOONINITBUTKAYSTOPSHIM

KAY

Oohcarefulyourmajesty.

HEREMOVESTHESPOONANDDROPSITINTOANOTHERGOBLET.THENPICKSUPADIFFERENTCUPANDPASSESITTOARTHUR

MORGAN

WhatareyoudoingKay!

KAY

SorryMorgan,ladiesfirstofcourse.

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KAYTAKESTHECUPBACKFROMARTHURANDPUTSITBACKONTHETRAYINADIFFERENTPOSITION.HETHENPROFFERSTHETRAYWITHTHETHREEGOBLETSONITTOMORGAN

KAY

Therewegomylady,aswesayinBritain:bottomsup!

MORGANNOWHASNOIDEAWHICHCUPTODRINKFROM

MORGAN

WellI’mnotterriblythirsty.Whydon’tyoutwogoahead.

KAY

Ohitwouldberudemylady.LetusalldrinktogethertothehealthofourKing.

ALLTHREEOFTHEMTAKEAGLASSFROMTHETRAY

KAY,MORGANANDARTHURRAISETHEIRGLASSES

ALL

TOTHEKING!

ARTHURANDKAYRAISETHEIRGOBLETSANDDRINK.MORGANWATCHESANXIOUSLY.

KAYYAWNS

KAY

Ahhhhhh.OhhI’mexhausted.Imightneedalittleliedown.

KAYSLUMPSTOTHEFLOOR

MORGAN

Ha!Myplanisworking.Andyou,Arthur?Feelingalittlefatigued?Wouldyoulikeasleep?

ARTHUR

WellnowyoumentionitMorganIdofeelalittlesleepy.

MORGAN

ThenknowthisArthur:youhavefallenintomytrap.

SHETRIUMPHANTLYDRAINSHERGOBLET

27

MORGAN

Ihavedruggedtwoofthegobletswithapowerfulsleepingpotion,andyouwillbothsoonbeinmypower.IwillridetoCamelotandclaimmyplaceattheroundtable.

ARTHUR

ExceptMorgan,Ihavenotdrunkfrommygoblet.See?

HESHOWSHERTHEGOBLET

ARTHUR

Iknewyouwereuptosomething,soIonlypretendedtodrink.ButlookwhatyouhavedonetopoorinnocentSirKay!

MORGAN

ItisonlyasleepingdraftandI.......oh,Ican’t......

SHESLUMPSTOTHEGROUNDFASTASLEEP

ARTHUR

Morgan?Sowasthereamistake?Wastheresleepingpotioninallthreecups?

KAY

NoI’mfine.

ARTHUR

What?Butyouwerefallingintoadruggedsleep?

KAY

IthinkIwasjusttiredfromallthatridingtogethere.IfeelmuchbetternowI’vehadalovelydrinkandaliedown.

ARTHUR

Kayyouarebrilliant!YoufooledMorganintothinkingshehaddruggedyou.

KAY

Wellyoursistercertainlyknowshowtoparty!Ilikeher.

28

ARTHUR

She’smyhalfsister.AndnowIknowsheisalsomybitterenemy.Shewillstopatnothingtogaincontrolofthecountry.FromnowonsheisbanishedfromCamelot.

KAY

Wellthat’sgoingtomakeitdifficultformetodateher.

ARTHUR

You’llhavetofindanewgirlfriendKay.

KAY

Wellshe’sgoingtobeprettyupsetaboutthatIthink.TobehonestArthurIstilldon’tunderstandwhat’sgoingon.

ARTHUR

It’sperfectlysimpleKay.Morganwasplanningtotrapus.Sheputsleepingpotionintotwoofthedrinksandmarkedthedrug-freeonewithaspoon.Butthenyouswappedthegobletsaroundandconfusedher.ShethoughtwehadbothdrunkthesleepingpotionsbutinfactyouhaddrunkthepotionfreedrinkandIdidn’tdrinkmydrink(HEHOLDSUPTHEGOBLET)whichwasdrugged.Doyougetitnow?

KAY

Totally.Wellit’sallturnedoutbrilliantly.Cheers!

KAYTAKESARTHUR’SGOBLETANDDRAINSIT

ARTHUR

Kayno!

KAYSLUMPSTOTHEGROUNDFASTASLEEP

ARTHUR

Ohforgoodnesssake.

ARTHUREXITS,DRAGGINGKAYWITHHIM

MERLIN

Etc'estainsiqueMorganefutbannideCamelot.Sonplanmaléfiqueavaitéchoué.D’ailleurs,ArthuraimaitbeaucoupraconteràlacourcommentSirKayavaitfinalementétéplusmalinqu’elle!

29

Unsoir,unmessagerarriva.UnmessagerquidemandaàêtreadmisàlacourpouroffriràArthurunecapemagnifique.

Scene10 BANNER:Meetingoftheroundtable

ARTHUR

Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord.

AMESSENGERENTERSANDBOWSTOARTHUR

ARTHUR

Whoisthisgirlwhocomesbeforetheroundtable?

MESSENGER

IcomefromMorganLeFay.

KAY

Isitamessageforme?Doesshemissme?

MESSENGER(puzzled)

NoitisamessagefortheKing.

KAY

Ohright.She’stryingtoplayitcooleh?

MESSENGER

MorganLeFayhasbidmetobringyouamagnificentgiftsire.Shehopesyouwillacceptitasanapology.

ARTHUR

Whatisthisgiftyoubring?

MESSENGER

ItisthismagnificentcloakSire.

30

KAYTAKESTHECLOAK

KAY

Oohit’slovely.LookatthisArthurit’sbeautiful.Whatapeaceoffering.Let’sburythehatchetandMorganandIcangetbacktogether.Ithinkwereallyhadsomething.

MESSENGER

Iaminstructedyourmajestythatyoumusttryiton.

ARTHUR

Youmayleavethegifthere,girl.Iamnotinterestedintryingitoninfrontofthecourt.

KAY

Ohgoon.

KAYHOLDSUPTHECLOAK

KAY

Lookit’sgorgeous.FitforaKingeh?

ARTHUR

NotnowKay.

KAY

Areyouworriedyou’veputonalittleweight?It’sallthosebanquets.Butit’saprettyroomycape.Ithinkit’llbefine.

MESSENGER

MorganwasmostinsistentthatKingArthurmustputonthecape.

KAY

SheprobablyjustwantstomakesureyoulikeitArthur.Incaseyouwanttoreturnittotheweaver.Iexpectshe’skeptthereceipt.

ARTHUR

IdonotwanttoputitonnowKay.

31

KAY

Wellthisisjustrude.I’llputitonmyself.

KAYGOESTOPUTONTHECAPEBUTATTHELASTMINUTEHECHANGESHISMIND

KAY

Actuallylet’sallhaveaproperlookatit.Youcanbeourmodel.

KAYDRAPESTHECLOAKROUNDTHEMESSENGERANDSTANDSBACKTOLOOK

IMMEDIATELYTHEMESSENGERSCREAMSINAGONYANDSTARTSWRITHINGABOUT

MESSENGER

Aaarghhh,aaarghhhitburns.

ARTHUR

MyGodMerlinthecapeisonfire!

THEMESSENGERCOLLAPSESTOTHEGROUNDANDISSTILL

MERLIN

ThemessengerisdeadmyLord.

KAY

Wellthathardlyeverhappens.

ARTHUR

ThisisthelasttimewewilllistentoMorganLeFay.Sheisourswornenemy.Merlin,youmusttellhershecannolongerbeyourapprentice.Sheisdangerous.Youhavealreadytaughthertoomuch.

MERLIN

Ofcourse,Arthur.

KAY

WellIsupposeit’soverbetweenmeandMorganthen.Whatashamesheturnedouttobesomurder-y.I’mgoingtomissher.

32

ARTHUR

IhavemademydecisionKay.NowclearawaythatMessengerandwecangetonwiththebusinessoftheroundtable.

KAYPULLSTHEREMAINSOFTHECLOAKOVERTHEMESSENGERANDDRAGSHERAWAY

MERLIN

IlétaitévidentqueMorganenepouvaitplusêtremonapprentimaisj’avaisunfaiblepourelleetelleavaitdutalentpourlamagie.Ilétaitdemondevoirdelafairerevenirdansledroitchemin.

Scene11 BANNER:MERLIN’SWORKSHOP

MERLIN

Morgan?Morgan?

MORGANENTERSCARRYINGASPELLBOOK

MORGAN

Merlin!Whathashappened?Doyoubringsadnewsfromtheroundtable?

MERLIN

NoMorganIdonot!Yourplanhasfailed.KingArthurisaliveandwell.Yourmessengerisdead.ThankstoSirKay.

MORGAN

Kayagain?Howisitthatthisidiotcontinuestothwartme?

MERLIN

Perhapsitishisinnocenceandhisgoodheart.

MORGAN

HeisafoolMerlinandyouknowit.

33

MERLIN

WellhebeatyouMorgan.Inanyeventyouarefinished.Packupyourthings,youareleavingtoday.

MORGAN

YouwillregretthisMerlin.WithoutyourhelpArthurcouldneverruletheKingdom.Whynotformanalliancewithmeandtogetherwewillruletheland?

MERLIN

NeverMorgan.Myloyaltyiswiththeonetrueking.

MORGAN

IhopedyouwouldbewiseMerlin;butyouarejustasadoldman.Well,Igaveyouachance.

MERLIN

Whatisthisnonsense?

MORGAN

MystudieshavebeenprogressingMerlin.

SHEHOLDSUPTHEBOOK

MORGAN

LookwhatIhavefound.

MERLIN

Myrarestbookofmagicspells.YoushouldnothavethatbookMorganyouknowIhaveforbiddenit.Thatbookwashiddeninmysecretchamber.

MORGAN

YouhavenomoresecretsfrommeMerlin.Yoursecretchamberindeed.Whyitisjustacavehiddenatthebackoftheworkshop.

MORGANGESTURESANDTHEYBOTHWALKIN

MORGAN

Didyouthinkyourmagiccouldhidethisbookfrommeforever?

34

MERLIN

Ishouldneverhavetrustedyou.

MORGAN

WellinthatyouarerightMerlin.Ihavelearnedamostpowerfulspellfromyoursecretbook.

MERLIN

Whatspell?

MORGAN(READINGASSHEWALKSBACKWARDSOUTOFTHECAVE)

Mensahmee,brohaffay,exopourriah

MERLIN

NoMorganno!Icannotmove!

MORGAN

That’srightoldman.AndnowIwillsimplysealupthecaveagain,andyouwillbetrappedhereforalleternity.LeavingmetofightonagainstmybrotherArthur.

MERLIN(WEAKLY)

Halfbrother.

MORGAN(BACKINGAWAYSTILLREADINGFROMTHEBOOK)

GoodbyeMerlin.Thecaveisclosing.YouknowaswellasIdothatwithoutthismagicbookyoucannotreversethespell.Visicanno,merfodo,aiyah.

MERLIN

No,no!!!

MERLIN

Jemeretrouvaisprisaupiègeparmapropremagie,dansmapropregrottesecrète.J’étaisaudésespoirmaisquandmêmetrèssatisfaitd'avoirpenseràymettreunechaisebienconfortable…c’estmonoptimismenaturelle!

MorgansedirigeaitversCamelotpourmettreàexécutionsonplancontreleroiArthur.Utilisantunsortpuissantqu’ellem’avaitvoléellechangeasonapparenceetseprésentaàlacourd'ArthurcommelareineGuenièvre,elle-même.

35

Scene12 BANNER:CAMELOTBEDCHAMBER

ARTHURISALONE.AKNOCKATTHEDOOR

ARTHUR

Whoisit?

MORGANENTERS

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

JustyourwifeSire,seekingyourcounsel.

ARTHUR

Itislatemylady.Canthiswaittillthemorning?

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

SadtosaymyLorditcannot.

ARTHUR

Verywellmylove.

THEYSITDOWN,MORGANONARTHUR’SLAP

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

IhavebeenmuchworriedaboutMerlinmyLord.Whereishe?

ARTHUR

HehasgonetohisworkshoptoinformtheevilMorganLeFaythatherplanhasfailedandsheisbanishedfromtheKingdom.

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

Hehasbeengonealongtimehashenot?

ARTHUR

Yes,Isupposehehas.

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

PerhapsitistimeforyoutoseekanewadvisermyKing?

36

ARTHUR

Nono.IamsurethatMerlinwillreturn.

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

Butyouwillnotsendyourknightssearchingforhim?

ARTHUR

Nonomylove.

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

Goodgood.

SHESTROKESARTHUR’SHAIR

ARTHUR

Staywithmetonightmysweetwife.

MORGAN(ASGUINEVERE)

OfcoursemyKing.

THEYKISS,ANDARTHURSWEEPSHERUPINTOHISARMSANDCARRIESHEROFFSTAGE

MERLIN

UtiliseruntelpouvoirétaitépuisantetMorganenepouvaitpasrestertransforméepluslongtemps.Arthurseréveillad'unsommeilétrangeetseretrouvaseuldanssonlit.Enfaisantglissersamain,iltrouvaunbraceletetserenditcomptequ'ilavaitététrompé.

SCENE13 BANNER:NEXTMORNING

ARTHURENTERSSHOUTING

ARTHUR

Kay!Guinevere!Comequickly.

37

KAY

Whatisit?Isitlunchtime?HaveIoversleptagain?

GUINEVERE

Arthur,myArthur?What’swrong?

ARTHUR

Ithinksomethingterriblehashappened.OhIwishMerlinwashere.

KAY

What’sgoingon?

ARTHUR(HOLDSUPTHEBRACELET)

Lookatthis.

KAY

Wellit’sokIsuppose.Idon’twearalotofjewellerymyself.

ARTHUR

Ifoundthisinmybedthismorning.Guinevere:didyouleaveitthere?

GUINEVERE

NomyLord,Ididnotseeyoulastnight,Iwasfastasleepinmyownbedchamber.

ARTHUR

No,itcannotbe.

GUINEVERE

Whathashappenedmylove?

ARTHUR

Seethebracelethere?ItbearsthecrestoftheLadyIgraine,mymother.

KAY

LookArthurI’masinterestedinjewelleryasthenextmanbuterrr.What’sallthisabout?

38

ARTHUR

Whowouldhavethisbracelet?Onlyherdaughter:MorganLeFay!

GUINEVERE

MorganLeFaywashere?

KAY

Didsheerrrmentionmeatall?

ARTHUR

Ihavebeenfoullytricked.MorgancametomelastnightintheformofGuinevere.

GUINEVERE

What!

ARTHUR

Forgivememylove.Sheassumedyourform.

GUINEVERE

Youcouldnottellusapart?

ARTHUR

Nomancouldhaverecognisedher.DamnMerlinforeverteachinghermagic.

KAY

Ohwell.Noharmdone.

ARTHURANDGUINEVERE(TOGETHER)

Noharmdone!?!

KAY

WellImeanit’snotyourfaultanditdoesn’treallymatter.

ARTHUR

ButitisaterriblesinKay.Morganismysister.

GUINEVERE

Halfsister.

39

KAY

Ohnotallthisagain.I’veneverreallyunderstoodthis.

ARTHURGETSOUTAFAMILYTREEDIAGRAM

ARTHUR

Seehere.TheLadyIgrainewasmarriedtoTheDukeofCornwall.TheyhadadaughterMorgan.

ButmyfatherKingUtherlustedaftertheLadyIgraineandusedMerlin’smagictotaketheformofherhusbandandtrickhiswayintoherbed.

GUINEVEREExactlythesamemagicMorganhasusedonyou.

ARTHUR

Exactly.You’dthinkwe’dhavelearnedtospotitbynowwouldn’tyou?SomyparentswereLadyIgraineandKingUther.MakingMorganmysister.

GUINEVERE

Halfsister.

ARTHUR

HaveyougotitKay?

KAY

I’vegotthreequestions.

ARTHUR

Goahead.

KAY

Firstly:howoldisMerlin?Hemustbeabsolutelyancient!Imeanhelooksold,butnotthatold.Ifhewaswizardingbeforeyouwerebornthenhe’sgottobewhat?Fifty?!Imeanhowisheevenalive?

ARTHUR

IthinkmagicmustbetheanswertothatoneKay.

40

KAY

Secondly:whereamIonthisfamilytree?

GUINEVERE

Wellyou’renotreallyrelatedareyou?MerlinbroughtArthurtoyourfather’shousewhenhewasababy,soyougrewuptogetherassortoffosterbrothers.

KAY

Andthirdly:isittimeforbreakfastnowwe’vegotallthissortedout?

SCENE14 BANNER:MERLIN’SCAVE

MERLIN

Pendanttoutcetemps,j'étaistoujourspiégédansmagrotte.J'aiessayétouslessortspossibles,maislamagiedeMorganeétaittropforte.Jenesaispascombiendejoursjesuisrestéemprisonnélà-dedans.Çaadûdureraumoinsdeuxmoissij’enjugeparlatailledemabarbe.Etlefaitquejevoulaisvraimentallerfairepipi!Unjour,j'aientenduMorganem'appelerdel'extérieurdelagrotte.

MORGAN

Merlin,Merlin!Howgoesityouoldfool?

MERLIN

Morganisthatyou?Letmeout!

MORGAN

Idon’tthinksoMerlin.Icannotsetyoufreeuntilmyplaniscompleted.IusedyourspelloftransformationMerlin!TheoneyouusedtodisguiseKingUther.

MERLIN

Ohmystars.Morganwhathaveyoudone?

MORGAN

ArthurbelievedIwasGuinevere.Thespellworkedperfectly.AndnowIamcarryingKingArthur’schild.

41

MERLIN

TowhatpurposeMorgan?Whatdoyouplantodo?

MORGAN

YouarerightMerlin.Theywillneverletawomanrulethekingdom.Butmyson?Thatisadifferentmatter.ThesonofKingArthur.OncemyboyisgrownwewillkillArthurandmyboywillwearthecrown.IshallcallmyhimMordred.

MERLIN

You’vealreadypickedoutthename?

MORGAN

Ihave.Ithasaniceringtoitdoesn’tit?KingMordred.

MERLIN

It’sabitweird.WhataboutGeorge?OrWilliam?OrHarry?NiceEnglishnames?

MORGAN

IwantnomoreofyourcounselMerlin.Whatareyouthesedays?Justamadoldmanwholivesinacave.

MERLIN

OnedayIwillbreakfreeMorgan.AndevenifIdon’tArthurwilldoeverythingtostopyou.

MORGAN

GoodbyeMerlin.Ihopeitisgoodbyeforever.

MERLIN

No,waitMorgan,comeback!

MERLIN

JecomprenaismaintenantleplandeMorgane:Enfanterlefilsd'ArthurMordred,etplustard,lefairecombattresonpèreetprendreletrône.C'étaitunplandiabolique.Bienqu'ilallaitprendreuncertaintemps!J'espéraisseulementqueleschevaliersdelatablerondeétaientàmarecherche.

42

Scene15 BANNER:MEETINGOFTHEROUNDTABLE

ARTHUR

Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord!

ARTHUR

Wellthisisallgoingsowell.It’sgreatisn’titKay?

KAY

Yes,Isimplycan’timagineanythingcouldgowrong.Ilovebeingaknight!

ARTHUR

Yes,sodoIKay.

MUSICBEGINS

ARTHUR

Beingaknightisthebestjobintown

Puttingwrongsrightaswegalloparound

Rescuingmaidens,protectingtheland

Theknightsofthetableasourmerryband

ALL

Aknight,aknightit’stheonlylifeforme

Fulloffighting,horses,adventure,chivalry

Aknightaknightit’sthelifewelovethebest

Beingaknight’snotajokeorajest

KAY(breakingintorap)

I’moilingthearmour,feedingupthehorse

Andfrequentlypolishingtheshieldsofcourse

43

Youshouldknowallthis,I’mpreachingtothechoir

It’sbusyallthetimewhenyou’reKingArthur’ssquire.

Ican’tcomplainthejob’srealswell

ButIdidn’tknowaknightwouldhavetoworkallthroughthedayaswell.

ButamIhappy?yesIamalot

It’sloadsoffunhangingoutatCamelot.

Diningatnightonvenisonandpheasants

Gettingawholeloadofcashfromthepeasants

Livingalifefullofjoustingandparades

OnedayImaygettojointhecrusades

Yeahbeingaknightcansometimesbeahassle

ButatleastIgettoliveinthisgreatbigcastle.

ALL

Aknight,aknightit’stheonlylifeforme

Fulloffighting,horses,adventure,chivalry

Aknightaknightit’sthelifewelovethebest

Beingaknight’snotajokeorajest

Aknightaknightit’stheonlylifeforme

Fulloffeasting,lances,sieges,pageantry

Aknightaknightit’sthelifewelovethebest

Beingaknightmeansthatweneverre………est.

ALL

Hurrah!

ARTHUR

44

BythewayanynewsofMerlin?

KAY

NotawordArthur.Shouldwebeworried?He’snotusuallygonesolong.

ARTHUR

MerlinhashisownwaysKay.Hewillcomebackwhenhechooses.

KAY

Isupposeso.

THELADYOFTHELAKEENTERSTHECOURTLEADINGAYOUNGKNIGHT

KAY

Oohhello.Who’sthis?Blimey,you’reallwetmadam.Isitraining?

ARTHUR

IknowthisLady.SheistheLadyoftheLake.

KAY

Ohwellthatmakessomesortofsensethen.(TRYINGTOBEGRAND)WouldyoulikeatowelmyLady?

LADYOFTHELAKE

ArthurIcometobringyouayoungmanwhoIhaveraisedtobeafineKnight.

KAY

OohI’vegotsomanyquestions.DidheliveintheLakewithyou?Howdoesthatwork?Doesn’thisarmourgorusty?

ARTHUR

Therewillbetimeenoughforquestionslater.WhoisthisKnightmyLady.

LADYOFTHELAKE

HisnameisLancelot.LancelotduLac.

KAY

That’sLancelotoftheLake.EvenIcanworkthatout.

LADYOFTHELAKE

45

Andwhoareyou?

KAY(TRYINGTOSHOWOFF)

WhyIamSirKay.KaydelaMaison.

LADYOFTHELAKE

Isee.

ARTHUR

Don’tyourememberKay?ThisisLancelot,theKnightwhoMerlinforetoldwouldbethegreatestKnightofall.Wehavekeptaseatattheroundtableforhimallthistime.

KAY

OhoneofMerlin’sprophecies.

LADYOFTHELAKE

WhereisMerlin?

KAY

No-one’sseenhimforages.It’sallabitweird.

LANCELOT

WillyouacceptmeasyourloyalKnight?(HEKNEELS)

ARTHUR

Ofcourse.AriseSirLancelot.YouareaKnightoftheroundtable.Come,ImustintroduceyoutomywifeGuinevere.

THEYEXIT

KAY(TOTHELADYOFTHELAKEASHEOFFERSHERHISARM)

WellmyLady.Lovelytomeetyou.ShallIshowyouaround?Orwouldyourathersitinthemoat?

46

Scene16 BANNER:Guinevere’schamber

ARTHUR

Mylove,Iwouldliketointroduceyoutoanewmemberofourcompany.

LANCELOT

LancelotishonouredtomeetyouyourMajesty.LancelotduLac.

GUINEVERE(Obviouslyattractedtohim)

Ooh.Lovelytomeetyou.

ARTHUR

Lancelothasjoinedtheroundtablemydear.

GUINEVERE

ThenhehasfulfilledMerlin’sprophecy.Theroundtableisnowcomplete.

LANCELOT

LancelotpledgesloyalservicetoyouandtoKingArthur.

GUINEVERE

WhythankyouLancelot.Errr,haveyouseemuchofCamelot?Wouldyoulikemetoshowyouaround?

LANCELOT

ThatwouldbelovelymyLady.

ARTHUR

Excellentidea.Giveyoutwoachancetogettoknoweachother.

GUINEVERE(FLIRTY)

Perhapsyouwouldliketoseetheramparts.

THEREISATENSEPAUSE

ARTHUR

Perfect.Ican’ttellyouLancelotwhataweightithastakenoffmymindtohavetheQueenlookedafterbysuchafine,loyalandchasteknight.

47

LANCELOT(STARINGINTOGUINEVERE’SEYES)

Sorry?

ARTHUR

Youshallbeherspecialprotector.

LANCELOTANDGUINEVEREARENOWHOLDINGHANDSLOOKINGLOVINGLYATEACHOTHER

ARTHUR

Well,seeyoulateryoutwo.

GUINEVERE

What?Ohyes,yeahwhatever.

MUSICBEGINSARTHURItwouldbetremendous,wouldhelpmeinlife

IfIfoundaknightwhocouldsavemefromstrife

HisnameisLancelot

OhshallItakethischanceornot?

Andlethimlookaftermywife.

ARTHURGuinevereGuinevere

Myloveforyouismostsincere

KAY

ButbeingaKing'snotallfun

ARTHUR

GuinevereGuinevere

I'vegotalottodomydear

KAY

You’vegotawholebigkingdomtorun.

48

Nomoreneedtoworryorgrumbleorstew

Ithinkhe'saknightwhoisloyalandtrue

HisnameisLancelot

Helikestosinganddancealot

He'llbetheperfectcompanyforyou.

ARTHURGuinevereGuinevere

Ican'talwaysberighthere

KAY

Sometimesakinghastoroam

GuinevereGuinevere

Nowthere'snothinglefttofear

KAY

YoungLancelotwillkeephersafeathome.

OhGuinevereGuinevere

Ineednevershedatear

YoungLancelotwillkeepyousafeathome.

MERLIN

LejeuneetbeauchevalierLancelotduLacpritdoncsaplaceàlatableronde.Etmoioùétais-jedonc?Ahoui!Toujoursemprisonnédanscettemisérablegrotte!J'étaisdésespéré.Jusqu'aujouroùj'entendisunbruitvenantdel'atelier…

Scene17 BANNER:Merlin’sworkshop

KAY

Merlin!Merlin!Anyonehere?

MERLIN

Who’sthere?

49

KAY

Merlinisthatyou?

MERLIN

Kay?!

KAY

Thisisn’tfunnyMerlin.Comeoutwhereveryouare.

MERLIN

Ican’tKay.EvilMorganLeFayhasmagickedmeintoatrap.I’vebeenprayingthatsomeonewouldcomeandfindme.

KAY

WellrelaxMerlin.I’mherenow.

MERLIN

Right.Umm,isArthurwithyouatall?

KAY

Arthur?No.

MERLIN

SirBedivere?

KAY

No.

MERLIN

SirGawain?Hewouldbegreatinthissituation.

KAY

No.

MERLIN

SirTristanthen?HeisawiseandcleverKnight.

50

KAY

No.

MERLIN

Soit’sjustyou?

KAY

Yesjustme.

MERLIN

Aaaarghhh!Whydothegodstauntmeso?

KAY

Idon’tknowwhatyou’reonaboutMerlin,butdon’tworryI’llhaveyououtofthereinnotime.Errr,whereareyouexactly?Ican’tseeyou.

MERLIN

Morganhastrappedmeinthesecretcavebehindtheworkshop.I’vebeenhereformonths.

KAY

Ohhthat’sexciting.Asecretcave!

MERLIN

RightKayIneedyoutoconcentrate.

KAY

What’sitlikeinthereMerlin?Haveyouhadanyfood?Orabath?Wowyoumustbereallydisgustingbynow.Arthurmakesmehaveabatheverymonth.WhetherIneedoneornot.

MERLIN

Don’tgetdistractedKay.Listentome.Lookaround.Canyouseeabigbook?

KAY

Ohyeahsure.

51

MERLIN

Myspellbook!

KAY(PICKINGUPRANDOMBOOKS)

There’sloadsofbooks.Isitthisone:TastyRecipesForOne?

MERLIN

No.

KAY

BeardsBeardsBeards?

MERLIN

Nonotthatone.

KAY

“Magickalincantationsanddiabolicalspellsfromancienttimes”?

MERLIN

That’sit.

KAY

Really?Itlooksabitboring.Let’sseeifwecanfindsomethingelse.

MERLIN

No!

KAY

Okay.Sowhatdowedonow?

MERLIN

WeneedtofindaspelltoundoMorgan’senchantment.

KAY

Right.Okay:invisibility,toadsravensanddragons,potions,mistsandtyphoons?

MERLIN

No.LookharderKay.

52

KAY

Trappedinacave.

MERLIN

What?Whatdidyousay?

KAY

Hah!Justkidding.Ohhthisonelooksgood:werewolvesandbats.

MERLIN

No,thatwon’tdo.Theremustbesomethingelse.

KAY

Wellthere’sjustthisone:Beguiling,obscuringandensnaring.Don’tknowwhatthatmeans.

MERLIN

That’sitthat’stheone!

KAY

Ok,whatnow?

MERLIN

Youseethespell?

KAY

Yes,Mensahmee,brohaffay-

MERLIN

Yesthatwasit.Butdoesitnotsaythereversalspell?

KAY

No.There’snothingelsehere.

MERLIN

Ohwoeisme.Thereisnoreversalspell.IamtobeMorgan’sprisonerforalleternity.Ohhowlhowl!

53

KAY

AllrightMerlin.Giveitarest.Letmethink.

MERLIN

Wellthatwillbeafirst.

KAY

Wewantthespellreversedright?

MERLIN

Ofcoursewedo.

KAY

ThenhowaboutifIsayitwhilstwalkingbackwards.Inreversegetit?

KAYWALKSBACKWARDSSAYINGTHESPELL.NOTHINGHAPPENS.

MERLIN

OhKay,youarebrilliant!

KAY

Really?Youthinkthat’llwork.

MERLIN

Noofcoursenot!Butweneedtoreversethespell.ReaditbackwardsKay.

KAY

Mee-sah-men,ay-fah-bro,riah-pour-exo

MERLIN

It’sworking,it’sworking.KeepgoingKay.

KAY

No-can-vis,doe-fo-mer,yahay

MERLINBURSTSOUTOFTHECAVEANDEMBRACESKAY

MERLIN

Kayyou’vedoneit!You’reagenius.

54

KAY

Itmightsurpriseyoutoknowthatno-one’seversaidthatbefore.

MERLIN

Ohitissucharelieftobefreeatlast.ThankgoodnessyoucamelookingformeKay.

KAY

Ohyesthat’sright.Icametotellyouoneofyourpropheciescametrue.SomeblokecalledLancelotturnedup.ThegreatKnightyoutoldusabout.Theoneweleftaseatforattheroundtable.

MERLIN

AhhKaY,Ifearthisisthebeginningoftheendoftheroundtable.

KAY

YouandyourpropheciesofdoomMerlin.Thegoblet’salwayshalfemptywithyou.Cheerup!Ireckonyou’vegotthisonewrong.Lancelotseemsreallynice.Andhe’sgorgeous!EvenQueenGuineveresaysso.

MERLIN

Doessheindeed?

KAY

OhcomeonMerlin,let’sgohometoCamelot.Arthurwillbesoexcitedtoseeyou.Althoughmaybeyoushouldhaveabathfirst!

MERLIN

Enfin,j'étaislibre…soulagé...etpropre!Kayetmoiavonsalorschevauchéjusqu’àCamelot.J'étaistrèsinquietdecequiétaitarrivé

Scene18 BANNER:GUINEVERE’SCHAMBER

GUINEVEREANDLANCELOTLAUGHINGTOGETHER

GUINEVERE

OhLancelot.Youarehilarious.Andsohandsome,ifyoudon’tmindmesayingso.

55

LANCELOT

AndyouareverybeautifulmyQueen.Lancelotwillalwaysbeyourprotector.

GUINEVERE

OhLancelot.

LANCELOT

OhGuinevere.Lancelotfearsthereisgossipattheroundtable.

GUINEVERE

Aboutus?

LANCELOT

Yes.Theysaywearespendingtoomuchtimetogethermylady.

GUINEVERE

Butwearejustfriends.Verygoodfriends.IthinkyouarethebestfriendIeverhad.

LANCELOT

Buttherearethosewhothinkwearefallinginlove.

GUINEVERE

Whatnonsense!

LANCELOT

Yes,ofcoursenonsense.AsifIwouldfallinlovewithKingArthur’swife.

GUINEVERE

AndasifIcouldfallinlovewithanyoneotherthanArthur.Nomatterhowhandsome,anddashingandbraveanddevotedhewas.

LANCELOT

LancelotcouldneverfallinlovewiththeQueen,nomatterhowbeautifulandcharmingandkindandgenerousshewas.

GUINEVERESotherewehaveit.Wearenotinlove.

56

LANCELOT

Absolutelynotinlove.

SONG:

GUINEVERE

SincewewereintroducedI’vecometoknow

Yourlittlesmilesandhowyousayhello

LANCELOT

I’veseenyourprettyfaceandtouchedyourhand

Butyouaremarriedtoanotherman

GUINEVERE

Wehardlyknoweachotherafterall

LANCELOT

Isometimesseeyoupassinginthehall

GUINEVERE

ButstillquitefarapartfromyouIstand

ForIammarriedtoanotherman

LANCELOT

Likeafishandabike

GUINEVERE

Likeafootandaglove

LANCELOT&GUINEVEREWetwoarenotalike

We’reabsolutelynotinlove

LANCELOT

Likeacatandadog

57

GUINEVERE

Likebeginningandend

LANCELOT

Liketheleftandtheright

GUINEVERE

Likestrangerandfriend

LANCELOT

Likethedarkandthefair

GUINEVERE

Likebelowandabove

LANCELOTANDGUINEVERE

Wetwoarenotapair

We’reabsolutelynotinlove

LANCELOT

Sonomatterwhattheotherpeoplesay

Iknowwe’llalwaysgoourseparateways

GUINEVERE

There’snomoreunlikelycoupleintheland

ForIammarriedtoanotherman

LANCELOTANDGUINEVERE

Letthestarsthrowdowntheirlightfromupabove

Butweareabsolutelynotinlove

Likeafishandabike

Likeafootandaglove

Wetwoarenotalike

We’reabsolutelynotinlove

58

Likethedarkandthefair

Likebelowandabove

Wetwoarenotapair

We’reabsolutelynotinlove.

We’reabsolutelynotinlove.

LANCELOT

Positively,absolutely

GUINEVRE

Areyoucertain?

LANCELOT

YesI’mcertain

LANCELOTANDGUINEVERE

We’reabsolutelynotinlove.

THEYLEANCLOSERFORAKISS.BUTBEFORETHEIRLIPSCANTOUCH,KAYBURSTSIN

KAY

Guinevere...comequickMerlinisback!

LANCELOTANDGUINEVERELOOKGUILTY

KAY

Oh,IhopeIwasn’tinterruptinganything.

Scene19 BANNER:MEETINGOFTHEROUNDTABLE

ARTHUR

Areallmybraveknightshere?

AUDIENCE

YesmyLord!

59

ARTHUR

WewelcomebackMerlin.AndwhatataleIheardabouthisimprisonmentandhisrescuebydashingSirKay.

KAY

Ohitwasnothing.

MERLIN(entering)

IoweyouagreatdebtKay.

ARTHUR

WemustbewatchfulforMorganLeFay.NowweknowherplanbutitwillbemanyyearsbeforehersonMordredwillbeoldenoughtofightagainstus.

MERLIN

Meanwhiledoyouhavesomethinginmindyourmajesty?

ARTHUR

IdoMerlin.IproposetosendmybraveKnightsoftheRoundTableonaquest.

KAY

Ohhbrilliant,Iloveagoodquest.

ARTHUR

IhaveheardtellthatthereisagreatpowerintheHolyGrail.Iwouldliketohaveit.

KAY

Theholywhat?

MERLIN

Grail,Kay.TheHolyGrail.

KAY

What’sagrail?Andwhyisitfullofholes?

ARTHUR

NonoKay.It’sholy.Sacred.ThegrailisthecupofChristfromhislastsupper.

60

KAY

You’resendingusouttoquestforasecondhandcup?Can’tyoujustbuyanewone?

GUINEVERE

ThegrailisamostsacredobjectKay.Itisaprizeindeed.

ARTHUR

Exactly.AndthatiswhyIamsendingmybestknights.

GUINEVERE

SirBedivere?SirGawain?SirTristan?

ARTHUR

Yes,andLancelotofcourse.

GUINEVERELancelot?

ARTHUR

Problem?

GUINEVERENo,noofcoursenotthat’sfine.Howlongwillittakedoyouthink?

KAY

Wellitsoundslikeit’sgoingtobetricky.Couldbeyears.

GUINEVERE(sadly)

Years.

KAY(HUGGINGGUINEVERE)

Ohyourmajesty,I’llmissyoutoo.

ARTHUR

Wewillmissyouall.ButthisisthequestIhavechosenfortheknightsoftheroundtable.

MERLIN

Goodfortunetoyouall.Godspeedyouonyourgreatquest.

61

KAY

Hurray!

ALL

Hurray!

MERLIN

Ehbien,avecleschevalierssepréparantàleurquêtepourtrouverleSaintGraal,jepensequec'estlebonmomentpourarrêternotrehistoire.Laprochainefois,jevousparleraidelaquêteduGraal,deLancelotetdeGuenièvreetbiensûr,deMorganeetdesonplanpourtuerArthuretreprendreleroyaume.Ooh,jesuistellementimpatientdesavoircommenttoutças’estpassé.

Scene20 BANNER:ENDOFTHESHOW

FINALSONG:

MERLIN

WithknightsandKingArthur

Withsingingandlaughter

We’vetoldyouastorytoday

ARTHUR

Withwizardsandmagic

GUINEVERE

Andlovethatistragic

KAY

Butnowit’stheendoftheplay

ARTHUR

Merlinishereandwehavenomorefear

CosMorganLeFayislonggone

62

KAY

Andtheknightsatourbest

Arenowonanewquest

Whateveronearthcouldgowrong?

ALL

Yesallisresolved,allourproblemsaresolved

KingArthurissafeonthethrone

I’dbewillingtobet,there’llbetroubleahead

Butfornowitistimetogohome.

ARTHUR

Myknightswithoutfail

Willsearchforthegrail

GUINEVERE

WithLancelotgoneI’llbesad

ARTHUR

AndMorganLeFay

Willreturnonefineday

KAY

AndIbetshewilldosomethingbad

ALL

Butlet’stakeabow,it’sallsortedfornow

KingArthurissafeonthethrone

Atleastfortoday

It’sallturnedoutokay

Andnowitistimetogohome.

63

Sogoodbyefromusallaswe’releavingyourhall

Wehopeyouenjoyedournewplay

Withatearinoureye,wewaveyougoodbye

FromMorganandMerlinandArthurandKay

THE END