Judge James Tamm
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Judge James Tamm Judge James Tamm AIMC National Conference March 24, 2004 – Orlando Accountable Collaboration
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AIMC National Conference March 24, 2004 – Orlando Accountable Collaboration. Judge James Tamm. Radiant Transit Discussion Guidelines. Information … not evidence Focus on yourself Not interested in right or wrong Did you produce the results you wanted Listen carefully. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Transcript of Judge James Tamm
Judge James TammJudge James Tamm
AIMC National ConferenceMarch 24, 2004 – Orlando
AccountableCollaboration
Radiant Transit Discussion Guidelines Information … not evidenceInformation … not evidence
Focus on yourselfFocus on yourself
Not interested in right or wrongNot interested in right or wrong
Did you produce the results you wantedDid you produce the results you wanted
Listen carefullyListen carefully
How to Collaborate Successfully
Go firstGo first Pay attention to responsesPay attention to responses Be open and direct about your intentionsBe open and direct about your intentions Keep talkingKeep talking Forgive quicklyForgive quickly Agree on systems for conflict resolutionAgree on systems for conflict resolution Regular reviews – active monitoringRegular reviews – active monitoring Graduated sanctionsGraduated sanctions Use Interest-Based Problem SolvingUse Interest-Based Problem Solving
5 Elements of Successful Collaborative Relationships
Collaborative intentionCollaborative intention
TruthfulnessTruthfulness
Self-AccountabilitySelf-Accountability
Self-AwarenessSelf-Awareness
Skillful MethodologiesSkillful Methodologies
UCB Research Results
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Before After
Adversarial
Neutral
Cooperative
Adversarial Adversarial relationships relationships reduced from reduced from 70% to 1%70% to 1%
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Before After
LowTrustNeutral
HighTrust
High trust High trust relationships relationships increased from 10% increased from 10% to 62%to 62%
UCB Research Results
UCB Research Results
Effective Effective communicationcommunication
is increased is increased from from
6% to 71%6% to 71%0
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Before After
StronglyDisagreeNeutral
StronglyAgree
UCB Research Results
89% of participants reported more effectiveness in 89% of participants reported more effectiveness in
resolving conflict and managing differencesresolving conflict and managing differences
Almost all participants reported a positive impact on both Almost all participants reported a positive impact on both
the process & products of their relationshipthe process & products of their relationship
Gains were sustainableGains were sustainable
State of California Research
Rate of disputes reduced 85% in groups Rate of disputes reduced 85% in groups trained three years earlier.trained three years earlier.
Savings of $670,000 in one area alone. Savings of $670,000 in one area alone.
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Research Results
ExtremelyExtremely
EffectiveEffective
ExtremelyExtremely
IneffectiveIneffective
Mayte Barba study of participants from Mayte Barba study of participants from
9 countries over a 6 year period.9 countries over a 6 year period.
Before After
GettingGetting
Interests MetInterests MetReducingReducing
DefensivenessDefensiveness
Before After
44.8%44.8%
ImprovementImprovement49.5%49.5%
ImprovementImprovement
Competitive attitude
CompetitiveCompetitive Short termShort term DefensiveDefensive Seeks to win – Self onlySeeks to win – Self only Feels like warFeels like war Reactive - RigidReactive - Rigid
Thumb Wrestling
Object – Win pointsObject – Win points Select a partnerSelect a partner No talkingNo talking 1 point per thumb pin1 point per thumb pin Start & stop by my signalStart & stop by my signal Keep count of your pointsKeep count of your points
Collaborative attitude
CollaborativeCollaborative Long-termLong-term Seeks mutual gainsSeeks mutual gains Sees others as partnersSees others as partners Seeks solutions not blameSeeks solutions not blame Open to influence – FlexibleOpen to influence – Flexible Seeks understandingSeeks understanding
Who am I thumb wrestling with?
In order to be more effective, I must be In order to be more effective, I must be more collaborative with:more collaborative with: 1_______________________1_______________________ 2_______________________2_______________________ 3_______________________3_______________________
Premise:
A defense system is not to protect yourself A defense system is not to protect yourself against others. It is to defend yourself against others. It is to defend yourself against feeling your own fear.against feeling your own fear.
So, …….. shifts occur when you let So, …….. shifts occur when you let yourself feel the fear.yourself feel the fear.
Defenses are:
Always fear basedAlways fear based Charged with energy & biologically basedCharged with energy & biologically based UnconsciousUnconscious AutonomousAutonomous Only temporary reliefOnly temporary relief
ANDAND….. WE HAVE THEM FOR A REASON.….. WE HAVE THEM FOR A REASON.
Defensiveness causes problems
It distorts our reality and we spend more energy on Self-Preservation than on Problem Solving
Conflict Lifeline
Draw a visual history of major conflicts in Draw a visual history of major conflicts in your lifeyour life
Use Pictures, Symbols, WordsUse Pictures, Symbols, Words
Reflect upon past and current family and Reflect upon past and current family and relationshipsrelationships
Reflect back on your Conflict Lifeline:
What defenses did you use to cope with What defenses did you use to cope with these situations?these situations?
Do you see any patterns?Do you see any patterns?
Signs of defensiveness
Check all that applyCheck all that apply
Circle your top 3Circle your top 3
When you get defensive:
Take responsibility for yourselfTake responsibility for yourself Slow downSlow down Confront any negative self-talkConfront any negative self-talk CYACYA DetachDetach Start againStart again
Defensiveness Action Plan
When my early warning system tells me I’m When my early warning system tells me I’m getting defensive, i.e. I notice myself doing:getting defensive, i.e. I notice myself doing: 1.____________________1.____________________ 2.____________________2.____________________ 3.____________________3.____________________
I will take the following action:I will take the following action: 1.____________________1.____________________ 2.____________________2.____________________
Levels Of Openness
-1. Self-Deception-1. Self-Deception 0. Withholding0. Withholding 1. You are…………..1. You are………….. 2. Toward you I feel………..2. Toward you I feel……….. 3. Because………..3. Because……….. 4. From you I sense (The story I tell 4. From you I sense (The story I tell
myself……………) myself……………)
4. From you I sense (The story I tell myself is…….) or
What must you be thinking about me to treat me this way?
e.g. You don’t think I’m important, I’m trustworthy, I’m significant, I’m competent,
I’m likable, etc.
Levels Of Openness
-1. Self-Deception-1. Self-Deception 0. Withholding0. Withholding 1. You are…………..1. You are………….. 2. Toward you I feel………..2. Toward you I feel……….. 3. Because………..3. Because……….. 4. The story I tell myself……………4. The story I tell myself…………… 5. About myself I fear…………..5. About myself I fear…………..
5. About myself I fear……….
The reason my button gets pushed when The reason my button gets pushed when you don’t think I’m (significant, competent, you don’t think I’m (significant, competent, likable, ______________, etc.) is because it likable, ______________, etc.) is because it reminds me that I feel this way, and I don’t reminds me that I feel this way, and I don’t want to feel that feeling.want to feel that feeling.
I don’t like it (or you) when you remind me I don’t like it (or you) when you remind me of that!of that!
Levels Of Openness
-1. Self-Deception-1. Self-Deception 0. Withholding0. Withholding 1. You are…………..1. You are………….. 2. Toward you I feel………..2. Toward you I feel……….. 3. Because………..3. Because………..
4. From you I sense (The story I tell myself 4. From you I sense (The story I tell myself is……………)is……………)
5. About myself I fear…………..5. About myself I fear…………..
Self-Accountability (Choice)
Being accountable for the choices we make is the Being accountable for the choices we make is the key attitude for empowerment. key attitude for empowerment.
I have no choice.I have no choice. I may not choose allI may not choose all I choose it all. I mayI choose it all. I may
Things happen and IThings happen and I that happens to methat happens to me not be aware of mynot be aware of my
don’t have anydon’t have any but I do choose mybut I do choose my choices at all times,choices at all times,
choice about how Ichoice about how I reactionsreactions but I am alwaysbut I am always
respondrespond making choicesmaking choices
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We act the way we do because we expect payoffs. What are some payoffs for not being accountable for my choices?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Interest-Based Problem Solving
Set tone & discuss processSet tone & discuss process Develop problem statementDevelop problem statement Focus on interests – not positionsFocus on interests – not positions Know your contingency planKnow your contingency plan Jointly develop optionsJointly develop options Reach clear agreementsReach clear agreements
Interests
Desires, wants, needs underlying the problemDesires, wants, needs underlying the problem
Easier to reconcile interests than positionsEasier to reconcile interests than positionsInterests may not be conflictingInterests may not be conflictingThere are many ways to meet an interestThere are many ways to meet an interest
Ask QuestionsAsk Questions
IntangiblesIntangibles
Contingency Plan
What you can do without agreementWhat you can do without agreement
Understanding C.P. protects against:Understanding C.P. protects against:Accepting bad agreementsAccepting bad agreementsRejecting good agreementsRejecting good agreements
Can you improve your CP?Can you improve your CP?
Options -- Solutions
Be firm about interests – Flexible about Be firm about interests – Flexible about how you get them methow you get them met
Always look for mutual gainsAlways look for mutual gains
Jointly invent many optionsJointly invent many options
Closure -- Agreement
Evaluate optionsEvaluate options
Check proposals against:Check proposals against:Interests of both partiesInterests of both partiesContingency plansContingency plans
Seek clarity & commitment Seek clarity & commitment
Next Steps for Long Term Change
Maintenance of RelationshipMaintenance of Relationship
Demonstrating Leadership CommitmentDemonstrating Leadership Commitment
Developing Constituency SupportDeveloping Constituency Support
Management of Issues and ExpectationsManagement of Issues and Expectations
Closing session worksheet What have I learned today that has had the most impact?What have I learned today that has had the most impact?
About myself About myself ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
About my organization About my organization
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
How will I apply what I learned? How will I apply what I learned? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What support will be helpful for me to accomplish my goals? What support will be helpful for me to accomplish my goals?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thanks for attendingBCon WSA International
James TammJames Tamm
1-800-462-58741-800-462-5874
[email protected]@firo.com
www.firo.netwww.firo.net
