Journey Through the Valley: Grief Recovery

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Helping those with grief

Transcript of Journey Through the Valley: Grief Recovery

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Helping those with grief

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The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the couple year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God my: to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, oil joy for morning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Isaiah 61:1-3

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Definition of Grief

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Definitions of grief

• loss of a loved one in death or divorce, displacement due to a natural disaster such an earthquake

• Loss of limb ,mastectomy loss of sensory • Loss of hoped-for event that does not materialize,• the diminishment of perceived options (e.g.,

inability to follow a certain career path), • loss of specific types of freedoms, or the collective

loss one can experience when there is a local or national tragedy

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Symptoms of Grief

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Symptoms of grief• Withdraw socially• Have trouble thinking and concentrating• Become restless and anxious at times• Not feel like eating• Look sad• Feel depressed (use depression inventory and treat accordingly)• Dream of the deceased (or even have hallucinations or “visions” in which they

briefly hear or see the deceased)• Lose weight• Have trouble sleeping• Feel tired or weak• Become preoccupied with death or events surrounding death• Search for reasons for the loss (sometimes with results that make no sense to

others)• Dwell on mistakes, real or imagined, that he or she made with the deceased• Feel somehow guilty for the loss• Feel all alone and distant from others

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Myths of Grief Recovery

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Myths of grief recovery.

• Grieve alone, avoid upsetting others• Let sleeping dogs lie• Replace the loss as soon as possible• You must cry in order to grieve• Don’t cry• Just get over it• Give it time and the pain will resolve on its own• Don’t trust in the future, there is only now• Recall only the good times to avoid disloyalty• Don’t feel sad, you’ll just get depressed• Be a good example to others • Stay strong and be a good example to others

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Why grief recovery is important.

• Behavioral patterns related to loss and grief recovery are learned These patterns reflect role modeling of caregivers, personal experience, cultural conditioning, verbal and nonverbal instructions (e.g., religion, politics), and expectations, to name just a few.

• Learning more effective behaviors can increase one’s likelihood of recovering successfully from loss and freeing up vital energy.

• Becoming empowered to deal more effectively with your own losses increases the probability of your being better equipped to offer encouragement and affirmation to others during their episodes of loss and grief recovery.

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Stages of Grief Recovery

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Stages of grief recovery

• Shock or Disbelief• Denial• Anger• Bargaining• Guilt• Depression• Acceptance• Cyclical not linear normal = 18 months

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How to counsel

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How to counsel

• Explain grief cycles. Average time = 18 months. Client can jump from one stage to another and back to first one.

• Watch for increased depression and treat accordingly. (see link to Joy in the Morning: Overcoming Depression)

• Empathize with clients feelings• Client should not make any major decisions

during this time

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How to counsel

• Encourage client to simplify as much as possible. It is difficult to make decisions. I lived on lists for several months because I could not think.

• It is ok to feel the feelings, but unhealthy to obcess.

• Client may need to forgive the person who died.• Encourage client to maintain normal daily

routines as much as possible.

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How to counsel

• Counselor may need to engage help of family and friends to assist client

• Counselor may need to help client with decision making.

• As Christians, knowing our loved one is in heaven, may or may not alleviate the clients grief. Be sensitive and don’t over- spiritualize give them permission to feel the feelings. God walks gracefully and mercifully with us.

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Joy in the Morning: Overcoming Depression

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What are the symptoms of depression? (see Depression Inventory in Appendix)

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How severe is the depression?

Scale of 1-10 (ten the worse)Scale of 1-10 See Depression Inventory in Appendix

•Always access functioning, if symptoms last longer than 2 weeks, consider a referral•Goes above a 5, refer to a psychiatrist. Safety issue•Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions•Fatigue and decreased energy•Feeling sad or "empty"•Feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty•Loss of interest in favorite activities ...•Sadness and or irritability•Loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities•Loss of appetite—or increase in appetite•Sleep disturbances—either insomnia or excessive sleeping•Suicide thoughts or ideations. ..

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What causes depression?

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Medical causes of depression

• Chemical , brain imbalance• Medical • Pharmaceutical • mixing of prescriptions• side effect of medication

• Geriatric • Spirit of depression• Can lead to clinical depression

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Nutritional causes of depression

• Sugar and refined products impact our brain function including mood, cognitive processes, problem solving

• “ Boosting brain function often has a positive effective on mood. Many of the Daniel Plan choices have anti depressant properties. Exercise, eating right, taking supplements such as fish oil, and learning not to believe every thought have been shown independently to boost mood”. The Daniel Plan, Chapter 6: Focus.

• Recommend 10 day detox to clients, cutting out sugar , processed foods and caffeine.

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Other causes of depression

• Situational• Loss, change or grief• Frozen rage• Spirit of depression• Generational curses

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Know your limits

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How is the clients functioning?

High

Moderate

Low

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When and how do I refer?

• When you are not comfortable

• When client functioning drops below 5 on depression inventory

• Express concern for client• Explain why the referral• Refer to psychiatrist or

medical doctor to prescribe medication

• Ok for adjunctive sessions

• Document

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Coaching goals

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What is the wholeness approach?

SoulSpiritBody

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The wholeness approach: Body

• Nutrition• Exercise• Medical reasons 3 John: 2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper

in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers.

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The wholeness approach: Soul

• Soul: (nephesh) a life, living being, self, person, personality, inner desires and feelings.

• Prov. 10: 3. The Lord will not allow a righteous soul to famish. 3 John 3

• Talk myself in and out of depression Prov. 13:2, 3 A man shall eat well by the fruit of

his mouth.

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The wholeness approach: Soul

Prov. 23:7 As a man thinks so he it. Correct negative thought patterns, it is an

effective treatment for anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems and even overeating. Rick Warren

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How we distort our thoughts

1. Over generalize2. Think with our feelings. Assume feelings is

true3. Predicting the future, worse case scenario4. Blame self or others5. Denial6. Focusing on negative

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The wholeness approach: Spirit

Gratitude: Yale University research study evaluated more

than 2,000 veterans between the ages of 60 and 96 to assess which traits helped them age successfully. Gratitude and purpose were the most significant traits associated with successful aging. R.H. Pietrzak, J. Tsai, et. Al, “Successful Aging among Older Veterans in the United States.

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The wholeness approach: Spirit

1. Pray regularly research shows prayer calms stress and enhances brain function.

2. Gratitude, I Thes. 5:16-183. Think on God’s character4. Stay in fellowship, community, 5. Speak God’s promises out loud• Frames our world Heb. 11:3

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Empower with choices.

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Empower with Choices

• I can choose to think on the good, the lovely things in my life, Phil 4:8

• I can choose to be thankful• I can talk to a nutritionist• I can talk to my doctor• I can change my beliefs• I can forgive • I can make small steps towards wholeness

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Strengthen belief system

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Identify my Negative Beliefs

• What do I think about myself? What does God say?

• What do I think about the situation? What does God say?

• What do I think about my future? What does God say?

• What could I do to change my situation?

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God’s Truth to Combat Lies

• Isaiah 41:10• 2 Cor. 12:0• Matt. 11:28• Zeph. 3:17• Heb. 4:16• Ps. 37:4

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Knowledge of God’s love will heal low self esteem and unworthiness

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•I am loved and blessed with every spiritual

blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.

Eph. 1:3

•I am loved because I am chosen in Him

before the foundation of the world. Eph. 1:4

•I am loved so I am holy and without blame

before Him in love. Eph. 1:4

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• I am loved and I am accepted in the Beloved.

Eph. 1:6

• I am loved and I am a vessel of honor, clean and

useful for the Master, 2 Timothy 2:21

• I am loved and nothing can separate me from his

love. Rom. 8:39

• I am loved so Christ dwells in my heart through

faith and I am rooted and grounded in love. Eph.

3:17