jokes (1.13MB)

L a u g h - O u t - L o u d J o k e s f o r K i d s

Rob E l l iot t

_Elliott_Jokes_LS_djm.indd 3 4/14/10 9:39:22 AM

Rob Elliott,Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids,

Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2010. Used by permission.

© 2010 by Robert E. Teigen

Published by Revella division of Baker Publishing GroupP.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287www.revellbooks.com

ISBN 978-0-8007-8803-2

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a re-trieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

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C o n t e n t s

1Q & A Jokes 9

2Awesome Animal Jokes 51

3Knock Knock Jokes 83

4Tongue Twisters 121

5Some Things to Think About 125




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1

Q & A J o k e s

Q: Why did the robber wash his clothes before he ran away with the loot?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Q: How does a skeleton call his friends?A: On the tele-bone.

Q: What is the richest kind of air?A: A millionaire.




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L a u g h - O u t - L O u d J O k e s f O r k i d s

Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?A: The mermaid.

Q: Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?

A: He just couldn’t see himself doing it.

Q: Why did the skeleton drink eight glasses of milk every day?

A: Milk is good for the bones.

Q: Why did Johnny jump up and down before he drank his juice?

A: The carton said to “shake well before drinking.”

Q: What is a baby’s favorite reptile?A: A rattlesnake.




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A w e s o m e A n i m a l J o k e s

Q: A cowboy arrives at the ranch on a Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is that possible?

A: The horse’s name is Friday.

Q: What do you call a bear standing in the rain?A: A drizzly bear.




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Q: What happened when the spider got a new car?

A: It took it for a spin.

A duck walks into a store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says no, so the duck leaves. The next day the duck goes back to the store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says, “NO, we don’t sell grapes,” so the duck leaves the store. The next day the duck goes back to the same store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager is furious now and says, “NO, WE DO NOT SELL GRAPES! IF YOU COME BACK AND ASK IF WE SELL GRAPES AGAIN, I’LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE FLOOR!” The next day the duck goes back to the same store and says to the manager, “Excuse me, do you sell nails at this store?” The man-ager says, “No, we don’t sell nails.” The duck replies, “That’s good. Do you sell grapes?”

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?A: Spoiled milk.




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K n o c k K n o c k J o k e s

Knock knock.Who’s there?

Butter.Butter who?

I butter not tell you—it’s a secret.


Wendy.Wendy who?

Wendy you think we’ll be done with these knock knock jokes?




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Hailey.Hailey who?

Hailey a cab so I can go home.


Wayne.Wayne who?

The Wayne is really coming down, so open the door!


Weasel.Weasel who?

Weasel be late if you don’t hurry up.




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T o n g u e T w i s t e r s

Try to Say These Ten Times Fast

Giggly gladiator.

Fresh French fries.

Selfish shellfish.




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Sock, skirt, shirt.

Snatch stacked snacks.

Cheap cheese stinks.

Goofy gorillas gobble grapefruits.

Tall trees toss leaves.

Purple penguins pick pickles.

Cooked cookies crumble quickly.

Soggy stuff smells suspicious.




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S o m e T h i n g s t o T h i n k A b o u t

What do you call a male ladybug?

Why don’t they call moustaches mouthbrows?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?




126


What do they call their good plates in China?

Why is a boxing ring square?

If a fly didn’t have wings, would we call it a walk?

Do fish ever get thirsty?




jokes (1.13MB)

Entertainment & Humor

Transcript of jokes (1.13MB)