1Marriage & Bliss

3Marriage & Bliss

Alana Manolal 11th August 2012

Publisher Amber Media Productions

Creative DireCtors Kenroy Ambris Carla Mendez-Ambris

Design layout Rajesh Sinanan

aDvertising sales Kenroy Ambris

PhotograPhy Kenroy Ambris

Contributing Curtis ChasePhotograPhers Stephen Doobay Anthony Aqui Clement Williams

Contributing Carla Mendez-AmbrisWriters Rohandra John Marsha Mendez-Shorey

Marriage & bliss is published twice a year by Amber Media Productions.

It is distributed free of charge to engaged couples and newlyweds. It is also available for sale at selected bookstores and other outlets. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in part or whole without consent

from the publisher.

Marriage & Bliss is also available online atwww.ambermediatt.com/marriage-and-bliss

Marriage & Bliss – The Magazine

For advertising, distributing or more information on Marriage & Bliss:

AMBER MEDIA PRODUCTIONSKenroy: (868) 750-2550 or (868) 359-5448Carla: (868) 748-0809 or (868) 359-5452

Website: www.ambermediatt.comEmail: info@ambermediatt.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Marriage&Bliss

ON THE COVER

Bride : Patrice Dyer

Date : 6th October 2012

See Page 11

4 Marriage & Bliss

06

18 The Icing on the Cake

From the Publisher 35

48

50

Then and Now

Fun Page30 Inspiration Page

Wedding Vendors

features

What’s inside08 25

28

34

The Significance of Marriage Vows

Movie Review: Couples Retreat

14 The Significance of the Sand Ceremony - A New Trend in Tying the Knot

The Roles of Husband and Wife

11 On the CoverThe Art of Compromise

Why ‘Ring Finger’?

23

31

40

42

Strange Wedding Practices – Stealing your bride

Outdoor Wedding - Things you need to know

Wedding Planning during Pregnancy

5Marriage & Bliss

AS we here at Marriage & Bliss welcome you to another edition of your magazine for all things wedding, we wish you and your spouse a prosperous and God blessed new year, as you start another phase

in the journey of life.

As you have grown accustomed, page after page, story after story, photograph after photograph, we try to make your pre and post wedding as easy and stress free as possible with articles designed to fit your needs.

In this edition we have tips for planning an outdoor wedding, advice on how to compromise on the wedding planning, the significance of the weddings vows that you say and an article explaining the sand ceremony.

So from the team here at Marriage & Bliss we hope you have the same joy browsing the pages of the magazine as we had putting it together for you!

From the Publisher

Carla Mendez-Ambris, Creative Director

Kenroy & Carla

Marriage & Bliss 7

8 Marriage & Bliss

By Rohandra John

“…will you have this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love, comfort, honour and keep her

Forsaking all others, keep you only unto her, For as long as you both shall live?”

:E all know these words and have heard them count-

less times. But why do people recite wedding vows?

And exactly what do they mean? Simply put marriage

vows are promises couples make to each other during

the wedding ceremony.

However, many of us, married included, sometimes do not

understand the meaning of the vows recited. Take Jervais, 43. He

admits not thinking much of the vows he said. In June of this year

he will be married for 10 years. Matter of fact, as the priest read

out the vows Jervais thought “why doesn’t he hurry up?”

“I felt the vows were said as a matter of formality, that’s all.

I didn’t understand its significance until long after I got settled in

the marriage. Thinking back, the obligations I took on myself in

those vows only hit home as the marriage relationship went on.”

But as Jervais realized sometime after, vows are not just

empty words recited in the name of tradition. They have much

more significance and Marriage & Bliss spoke with three different

religious leaders to find out the meaning of vows in their religion.

Christian Vows“The words in your vows have meaning. It is not a matter of

just saying words,” says Bishop Cuthbert Joseph, who has been

performing Christian marriages for over a decade. “The vows

The Significance ofMarriage Vows

10 Marriage & Bliss

are very significant because it signals that you are entering into a

covenant relationship and they must be taken seriously.”

Most importantly Bishop Joseph says marriage vows are

considered sacred because you make those promises standing

before God. “God honours covenant relationships and see it as

a binding covenant until death.” Even if you opt to have a civil

marriage in the Red House, “God is always one of the main

witnesses looking on” as you promise commitment and fidelity to

your spouse, and he expects you to honour those vows, Bishop

Joseph further acknowledges.

Some Christian couples choose to recite standard vows

authorized by the church; others opt to compose their own pledges.

“But generally, you will find one thing that is most common in

Christian marriage vows, the promise that couples make to commit

themselves to each other for as long as they both shall live.”

After vows are recited, the congregation is asked if there are

any objections to the couple marrying. The reason? “That is really

done as a matter of formality and it is also part of the tradition in

Christian marriages to ask that question,” Bishop Joseph explains.

“Even if someone objects at this point, the wedding will still go

on. That’s because you are really suppose to voice your objections

when the couple puts up their marriage banns which is publicized

for at least seven days. If you don’t object during that period

objections are not entertained on the wedding day. But the question

is asked anyway.”

Hindu VowsThe dullahin (bride) and dullaha (groom) recite seven vows,

during a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony. The couple recites

the vows as they walk seven times around the “Holy fire” and each

step represents a marital vow.

This signifies the beginning of their journey together, according

to one Pundit. “With the first step they make

the vow to respect and honour each other;

second step, is the vow to share each other’s

joy and sorrow; third step, they pledge to

trust and be loyal to each other; in the fourth

step they vow to cultivate appreciation for

knowledge, values, sacrifice and service;

fifth step they reconfirm their vow of purity,

love, family duties and spiritual growth; with

the sixth step they pledge to follow principles

of Dharma (righteousness) and the seventh

step is the vow to nurture an eternal bond of

friendship and love.”

The Pundit adds: “We expect couples

marrying under Hindu rites to honour their

vows because they not only make them in

front of people and the holy fire, but before

the Holy angels.”

Muslim VowsMuslims do not recite lengthy vows.

Theirs is actually a pledge of commitment before the Creator,

Imam Imtiaz Ali says. “The vow is really presented in the form of

a question and in the Muslim marriage it is the woman who first

makes the proposal.”

Imam Ali adds: “We ask the bride this basic question: ‘Do you

daughter of so and so, propose marriage to this young man, son of

so and so, in the presence of Almighty God and have you agreed

to accept the Mahr (dowry)’.” The Mahr Imam Ali explains is “a

financial gift, or a promise to give a financial gift” from the groom

to the bride in accordance with Islamic Law.

“We then ask the groom the same question. Traditionally we

ask this question three times, but it is only compulsory to ask

the question once.” Once the couple answers in the affirmative

it means they are two consulting adults pledging to “enter into a

union together and this is a form of contract.” They then proceed

to sign their marriage certificate which in essence reinforces their

commitment on pen and paper, Ali pointed out.

Legal SignificanceVows also have legal significance as it is a verbalized agreement

and therefore a form of contract that is legally binding, Attorney-

at-law Hyacinth Griffith says.

“In saying your vows you are basically making a promise to

commit yourself to your partner for life. From a legal position this

is a contractual relationship and the contract is recognized by the

State. You take on certain responsibilities when you take on this

contract that will impact on all areas of your life, financially and

otherwise,” Griffith says.

So now that you know the significance of the vows if you are

not prepared to live up to your promises think twice before saying

“I do”.

O! "he Cover Patrice & AnslemOctober 6th 2012

11

12

13

14 Marriage & Bliss

By Marsha Mendez-Shorey

7HE history of the sand ceremony

is largely attributed to the Ha-

waiians who have integrated the

practice into their marriage cere-

monies for years. Sand is often used to rep-

resent the passing of time and the journey

of life and therefore it was thought fitting

to use sand to symbolize the joining of two

lives together.

So what is a Sand Ceremony anyway?

The Sand Ceremony also known as The

Unity Sand Ceremony represents the

blending of the individual lives of the

bride and groom into one. It is similar

to the Unity Candle Ceremony which is

traditional in many weddings. The Unity

Candle is one in which the flame of two

candles are used to light one main candle.

With the sand ceremony, two, or more,

separate containers of differently coloured

sand are poured into one main container.

The beauty of the sand ceremony is the

elegant symbolism that is immediately

identifiable - the different sand colours, of

course, represent the individual lives of the

bride and groom.

The layers of colour show that both

bride and groom have retained their

unique identities and personalities. Yet,

looking closer, it is virtually impossible

to identify the exact point where one layer

ends and the other begins. The grains of

sand can never be separated! This is a

strong and beautiful representation of

the “two becoming one” concept. Some

couples also choose to leave a bit of sand

in their individual pouring containers to

verify that although they are becoming one

as a couple, they are still individuals with

independent thought.

Some brides and grooms prefer the sand

ceremony to the unity candle ceremony,

since sand is everlasting as opposed to

candles, which melts away after time,

others for the mere fact that your unity

container can be kept and displayed as a

wonderful wedding keepsake long after

the ceremony is over.

There are several variations of the Sand

Ceremony. Here are three examples:

�� $� UHOLJLRXV� YDULDWLRQ� The central

vase is one-third filled with white sand

before the ceremony. This represents God

as the foundation for a happy marriage.

�� $� SDUHQWV¶� YDULDWLRQ� Each sets of

parents has a vase with different coloured

sand. The parents take turns in pouring

their sand into the central vase before

the couple, creating a layered effect. This

symbolizes their support for the couple in

marriage.

A new trend

in tying the knot

THE SIGNIFICANCE OFthe Sand Ceremony

��$� FKLOGUHQ¶V� YDULDWLRQ� This is

perfect if the couple have children

together already, or have children

from a previous relationship. Each

child has a small vase with coloured

or white sand, and they pour this into

the central vase just before the couple

finishes pouring in their sand. This

provides a layer where the couple

and children’s sands are mixed. The

children can then pour the rest of their

sand on top of the couple’s sand. This

symbolises that each participant is

committed to functioning as a single

family unit. Children especially love

the interactive nature and symbolism

of this variation of the ceremony.

There is no hard-and-fast rule

when choosing what you want for

your sand ceremony. You can choose

one or a combination of ceremonies

to fit your taste. Remember, this is

your wedding; it can be as unique,

contemporary or traditional, as you

want it to be.

the Sand Ceremony

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Carlene & Jeffrey Richard & Kendra

Tessa & Michael

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Coleen & Daniel

Tamica & Rafael

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Kevin & Alana

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21

Sati & Vinod 22nd July 2012

Rhonda & Kurtnell 22nd September 2012

22 Marriage & Bliss

23Marriage & Bliss

By Carla Mendez-Ambris

,n this comedy, Jason & Cynthia (Jason Bateman &

Kristen Bell) is a super-organized married couple that

has been trying to conceive for some time. They think

that their failure is a sign that they should consider a

divorce.

As a last resort, they agreed to try a couple’s retreat to

see if their marriage can be saved. They decide to convince

their friends; Dave & Ronnie (Vince Vaughn & Malin

Akerman) who are married with two young kids; married

high school sweethearts Joey & Lucy (Jon Favreau & Kristin

Davis) who have lost their love for each other and recently

divorced; Shane (Faizon Love) and his new 20 year old

girlfriend, Trudy (Kali Hawk); to join them on this venture

on a beautiful tropical island so that they can take advantage

of the discounted group rate.

After being enticed by a very appealing power-point

presentation, prepared by Jason & Cynthia, of the tropical

island resort showing all its great amenities such as jet

skiing, the three other couples decide to join them, being

told that the couples’ counseling was optional.

Upon arriving at the island of Eden, they realize that they

are all booked at Eden West the couples’ skill-building retreat

and not the more appealing Eden East, the singles resort on

the other side of the island, where all the festivities are. At

Eden West, the therapy sessions are mandatory, and all four

couples must participate. For the sake of Jason & Cythia,

the others decide to stay and participate in the sessions.

Throughout the sessions, each couple discovers and

explores issues in their own relationships. Can they each

resolve their marital problems? Will Jason & Cynthia still

decide to call it quits? Can your marriage benefit from

watching this movie?

Genre: Comedy Release Date: 9 October 2009 (USA)

Directed By: Peter BillingsleyWritten By: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn,

Dana Fox

Tessa & Michael 1st September 2012

25Marriage & Bliss

By Rohandra John

7HE ROLE of husband and

wife in the marital voyage

from love to happiness is defi-

nitely changing. And if you

think “changing” is too strong a word,

then you will agree it is at least evolv-

ing to suit the needs of the time we live

in.

Picture this not too unfamiliar

scenario. Wife goes to work, comes

home after a long day and meets

the kitchen the same way she left it.

Husband who has his day off is home

all day and the only thing he does in the

kitchen is to dirty more wares. But he

does clean around the house which had

needed more than a touching up.

Of course wife is upset and gives

the husband the silent treatment and he

thinks she is being unreasonable. After

all it’s a man’s job to take care of the

yard and house and a woman’s job to

take care of the kitchen and the family.

2U�LV�LW"

The Roles of Husband & Wife

Marriage & Bliss spoke with three

religious leaders to find out what they

had to say about the changing roles of

husband and wife over the years.

Nowadays any husband, who is

only prepared to do “outside duties”

while his wife is expected to wash,

cook and clean, is setting the stage for

disaster Pundit Ishwar Madho Maharaj

points out.

“From the perspective of Hinduism

where marriages are concerned,

traditionally the women were socialized

to do all the household duties. They were

to be the homemakers, the nurturers

and were off course expected to serve

their husbands. The wife and mother is

also seen as the first Guru in that her

role is to pass on spiritual teachings to

the children and to also spend quality

time with them,” Maharaj noted.

But unlike before more and more

Hindu women are pursuing education

and careers and are working just as

hard as their husband and spend just

as much time in the workplace. As

a result women no longer expect to

singlehandedly care for the children

and upkeep the house while their

husbands look on Maharaj says.

“The marital relationship runs much

more smoothly when the husband

lends a hand to his wife in every area

of maintaining the home. I do that.

My wife works. She is also pursuing

tertiary education and I assist with

taking care of the home and help out

with the children.”

Pastor Robin Rambally echoes

26 Marriage & Bliss

similar sentiments.

“Based on the Bible, the woman’s

role is that of being the help-mate

and the nurturer in the home, while

the man’s role has been to cultivate

and provide,” Rambally who is also a

marriage counselor, says.

Increasingly though, the Pastor

points out many women are taking on

the role of breadwinner, and in some

homes, it is the man doing the washing,

cooking, cleaning and taking care of

babysitting duties, while his spouse is

at work.

“I want to say though that roles and

positions should not be confused. Your

role describes those functions that you

carry out, like cleaning, washing and

so on. Those roles may change with

time. But your position, which is that

of being the wife or husband, cannot

change. Even if the wife goes out there

and makes more money than the man,

he remains the husband and head of the

home. His position does not change.”

He is not against the idea of husband

and wife working. After all there is the

advantage of earning two salaries to

meet the family’s needs.

“But as with everything else there

are the disadvantages. Mommy and

daddy are spending most of their time

in the workplace and by the time they

get home they are tired. So they may

not get to spend that quality time with

the children.”

And it seems to be the same within

Muslim homes too.

“Today more Muslim women are

advancing their education and going

after careers. Ideally the woman is the

homemaker and nurturer. But today

we have working mothers and at-home

fathers, that is becoming the norm,”

Imam Imtiaz Ali said.

As a young boy growing up he

admits that his mother did not allow

him to do any household chores,

leaving it all up to the girls. “But when

I got married, my wife and I were both

working and I had to help out. I couldn’t

cook but I would cut up the garlic, help

season the meat and so on. Even up to

now, after 34 years of marriage, we do

chores together,” Ali said.

All three of the religious leaders

are advocating that young couples,

either married or about to make that

step, view and treat their marriage as

a partnership. “If you don’t help each

other out you are on the road to failure,”

Imam Ali says.

We caught with two married

couples, one who married 38 years ago

and the other earlier this year to get

their views on the roles of husband and

wife.

Nazir and Rosalind Hosein:They were married on 12 October,

1974. He was 25 and she was 17.

Rosalind did not object when her

husband told her he did not want her to

work and she settled into her role as a

housewife. She was 18 years-old when

she had their first son. Four other sons

followed and her family became her

world. Rosalind washed, cooked and

clean. Husband and children returned

home each day to a hot meal and a

loving mother who spent quality time

with them.

If she could turn back the hands of

time Rosalind, now 54, says she will

have it no other way. “I am just happy

that I have always been there for my

husband and children and they always

let me know how much they appreciate

that. It was a joy just caring for my

family.”

Rosalind says she is delighted

to see more young women grasping

educational opportunities and pursuing

careers. But she also wishes for a return

to the “old days” when family life was

given preeminence over the mighty

dollar.

Nazir now 63, says that he always

preferred to have a wife who would

stay home with the children. Twenty

30 years ago he says this was the norm.

His mother was also a homemaker. He

had 11 siblings and it was his father

who went out to work to provide for

the family.

“Now that husbands and wives are

working they are hardly having time

to spend with each other and they are

also not spending that quality time with

the children, so many of them are going

astray; we are reaping the consequences

of that in our society today. We want

family life to be restored,” Nazir says.

Jason and Isha They were married on 21 March

2012. He was 25 and she was 24.

In contrast to Rosalind, Isha balks at

the idea of just being a housewife. She

let her husband know from the get go

that she was quite independent and had

no plans of “keeping house” once they

tied the knot.

Isha grew up in a home where

her mother was a housewife and her

stepfather the breadwinner. Her mother

did all the household chores. Isha says

she always thought this was unfair. She

decided she would have a different life.

“I always told myself that once I

got married I am going to work and

remain independent. I just think that

being a housewife is too demanding

and it’s also boring. I also believe in

sharing the duties in the home. I don’t

think the woman should do everything.

Right now my husband and I share up

the chores; if I can’t cook he does it.”

Jason, 25, does not mind his wife

working. “In these times, it is hard to

make it on one salary; the needs of the

family are better met with two salaries,

so it helps when both parties work.”

He also shares the view that husbands

should assist with household chores

and he practices what he preaches. “I

help out in whatever way I can. I cook

sometimes. My wife doesn’t like to iron

so I do it and we have an understanding.”

28 Marriage & Bliss

By Carla Mendez-Ambris

<OU want the big wedding, the

splendiferous colour scheme, an

almost unlimited budget! The

whole nine yards really.

Him! Hmmm. He wants to settle for may

be one-and-a-half yards! A small intimate

affair, no special colours, less money on the

wedding more on the honeymoon.

Question is, where do you go from here?

Compromising for your wedding

planning is great practice, as marriage itself

is about communication and compromise.

If you can learn to give and take at this

point, it augers well for sacrifices down the

road. Hope these helpful hints below work

for you.

Make a ListMake a list and discuss exactly what

you both want for and in your wedding.

Cover all bases – the budget, guest list,

type of entertainment, alcoholic or non-

alcoholic bar, venue, colour scheme... just

to name a few.

The Budget This is the first thing you need to decide

on. And just keep in mind that you do not

want to start off your marriage in debt.

Many couples take out loans to pay for their

wedding and spend years to repay it; others

empty their bank accounts. Remember, in

the first few years of marriage you may

have lots of other expenses - perhaps a

mortgage, new furniture, kids…

Start off with a realistic budget. Make

a list of all the wedding elements and start

contacting vendors to get an idea of how

much each item costs, if you do not already

know. That does not mean just taking the

cheapest vendors you can find, but finding

the ones that give you what you want at the

most reasonable prices.

Not everything has to be a give and take

though. In some cases, you can both get

what you want. Depending on your budget

you may be able to include what you both

want in the wedding.

The Art ofCompromise

29Marriage & Bliss

Traditional Expenses of the Bride and Her Family

Traditional Expenses of the Groom and His Family

Professional wedding consultant/planner/coor-dinator

Invitations and announcements

Bride’s wedding gown and accessories

Floral decorations for ceremony and reception, bridesmaids’ flowers, bride’s bouquet

Professional photography and video production

Music for church and reception

Transportation of bridal party to and from ceremony

All reception expenses

Bride’s gifts to her attendants

Bride’s gift to groom

Groom’s wedding ring

Décor for reception

Transportation of bridal party to the reception

WHO pays for what?

He wants a live singer to dedicate a

special song for you; you want a tassa

group to entertain guests all

night long. Then why not have

both, once your budget permits.

Cannot settle on the best engagement

photo? Well use one for the Wedding Guests

Signature Frame, and use the other in your

programme or on the table as a part of your

centrepiece or table numbers. Alternatively,

you may ask the photographer to choose.

He is the professional after all!

The Colour Scheme Why not use both your favourite colours

and pair them together. Colour schemes

have evolved so much over the years; many

non-traditional colours are becoming more

and more popular. Perhaps the decorator

can add an accent colour to coordinate them

a little better.

Control or Best Interest?You think he is groomzilla huh?

Sometimes the grooms are the ones in

charge, keeping track of all details, colour

swatches and handling every aspect of

the wedding planning, except perhaps

the bride’s wedding dress. In that case,

consider it a blessing, as some brides have

the hassle of doing all the work alone, the

groom just showing up on the morning of

the wedding!

Your partner is simply showing an

interest and is just as excited as you are

about the big day.

Take advantage of this and split the

wedding planning; let him handle some

of the elements while you handle the

others. If he is more passionate

about the type of entertainment

he wants, let him deal with that

aspect. If the décor is more

important to you, you can handle

it. (See our list of Who Pays for

What, a traditional list of items that

the bride and groom usually handle).

Whatever is decided upon, make

doubly sure that conflicts are resolved

amicably. Brides, while you can stand

your ground, do not order around your

future groom or make him feel his opinion

is not valuable. Respect his wishes and

do not make him feel as though he must

give in to everything you say. And grooms

remember that this day is one which

your bride may have fantasized about all

her life, so try to give in to some of her

requests, after all, the bride is always the

main focus at the wedding.

Bride’s engagement and wedding rings

Groom’s gift to bride

Gifts for groom’s attendants

Boutonnieres for groom’s attendants (unless the bride has included them in her florist’s order)

The officiant’s fee or donation

The marriage license

Transportation for the groom and best man

to the ceremony

Honeymoon expenses

All costs of the rehearsal dinner

Transportation and lodging

expenses for the groom’s family

Couple: Rhonda & Kurtnell

Wedding Date: 22nd September 2012

Marriage&Bliss

Inspiration Page

30

31Marriage & Bliss

,N some cultures they take stealing

your bride a little too literally! Quite

literally actually. Bride kidnapping or

marriage by abduction has been prac-

ticed throughout history and around the

world.

And it is what it actually says it is, a

man kidnapping the woman he wishes to

marry. Bride kidnapping not only includes

abductions, but also where a couple runs

away together and seeks the consent of

their parents later.

Some modern cultures maintain a

symbolic kidnapping of the bride as part of

the marriage ritual. And interestingly some

say the honeymoon is a relic of marriage by

capture; where the husband goes into hiding

with his wife to avoid reprisals from her

relatives, with the intention that the woman

would be pregnant by the end of the month.

Bride kidnapping is still practiced

in mostly agricultural and patriarchal

societies. According to tradition the woman

leaves her birth family, geographically and

economically, when she marries, becoming

a member of the groom’s family. In turn

for marriage the girl’s family demands

economic compensation, the bride price.

Sometimes men turn to kidnapping to

avoid the bride price.

In other cases the girl’s family might

not approve of the marriage as the man is

of a lower social standing and the couple

might elope under the guise of a kidnapping

with the bride price to be negotiated after

the fact.

Here are some of the ways bride

kidnapping is practiced in different parts of

the world

Ethiopia

A man working in co-ordination with

his friends may kidnap a girl or woman,

sometimes using a horse to ease the escape.

The abductor will then hide his intended

bride until she becomes pregnant. As the

father of the woman’s child, the man can

claim her as his wife. Subsequently, the

kidnapper may try to negotiate with the

village elders to legitimise the marriage.

KazakhstanThough some kidnappers are motivated

by the wish to avoid a bride price or the

expense of hosting wedding celebrations

or a feast to celebrate the girl leaving

home, other would-be husbands fear the

woman’s refusal, or that the woman will be

kidnapped by another suitor first.

IndiaUsually, the groom carries away the

bride and the villagers chase them. If

they are not found after a few hours, they

are considered to be married. There are

however, different rules for different tribes.

ChinaTraditionally marriage by abduction

was sometimes a groom’s answer to avoid

paying the bride price. In other cases, it

was a collusive act between the bride’s

parents and the groom to circumvent the

bride’s consent.

The Hmong (The Hmong is an Asian ethnic group

from the mountainous regions of China,

Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand)

The kidnapping is generally a joint

effort between the would-be groom and

his friends and family. After taking the

woman the abductor sends a message to

the kidnap victim’s family, informing

them of the abduction his intent to marry.

If the victim’s family manages to find the

woman and insist on her return, they might

be able to free her from the obligation

to marry the man. However, if they fail

to find the woman, the kidnap victim is

forced to marry the man. The abductor still

has to pay a bride price for the woman,

generally an increased amount because of

the kidnapping.

Editor’s Note: Non consensual bride kidnapping is considered a crime in

Trinidad and Tobago and many other countries.

Strange Wedding PracticesStealing

Your Bride

32

It is not uncommon to see couples of different religious backgrounds tie the knot at two separate ceremonies on different days in each other’s place of

Natasha

33Marriage & Bliss 33

Natasha

& Avinworship. Avin & Natasha, chose to have a Hindu ceremony on 12th August 2012 and a Christian Ceremony the following week on 18th August 2012.

34 Marriage & Bliss

(VER wonder why the wedding

or engagement ring must be put

on the ring finger of the left hand

and not any other finger? Why

call the fourth finger the ring finger any-

way?

Well in Roman culture they believed

there is a very sensitive vein of blood,

called the vena amoris, which connects

the ring finger to the heart - the symbol of

love - and hence the name “ring finger”. In

other cultures the ring finger is believed to

be very auspicious and pure because it is

located in the middle of little finger and the

middle finger.

Roman writer and philosopher,

Macrobius said the thumb is part of the palm

which always remains apart from other

fingers while the forefinger (index finger)

and little finger are not fully protected. He

said the middle finger is too disgracing to

be given such an honour; therefore the only

finger left is the wedding finger.

Some believe wearing a ring on the

ring finger signifies pure matrimonial

intentions. According to this belief wearing

a wedding ring or engagement ring on the

ring finger symbolises unconditional and

unbreakable love, affection and attachment

between two souls or hearts.

Different countries have different WUDGLWLRQV�RI�WKH�ULQJ�¿QJHU�

Europe In some European countries the ring

is worn on the ring finger of the left hand

before marriage and is transferred to the

ring finger of the right hand during the

wedding. While in Russia, Denmark and

Austria the wedding ring is worn on the

ring finger of the right hand.

Jewish Weddings

In Jewish weddings, the ring is worn

on the bride’s index finger

and is transferred to the ring

finger after the ceremony.

IndiaIn India the right hand is

considered very auspicious.

So the wedding ring is worn

on the ring finger of the

right hand.

GreeceThe wedding ring is

worn on the left hand when

the ring is slipped on and

then moved to the right

hand.

ChinaBut the Chinese seems to have the

most romantic of reasons for the ring

finger. Their tradition goes like this. The

thumb represents your parents. The index

finger represents your siblings. The middle

finger represents yourself. The ring finger

represents your life partner. The little finger

represents your children.

Hold your hands together. Join your

middle fingers back-to-back at the middle

knuckles, and the remaining fingers tip-

to-tip. Now try to separate your thumbs.

They will separate because your parents

are not destined to live with you forever.

Rejoin your thumbs and separate your

index fingers. They will separate because

your siblings will have their own families

and lead their own lives. Rejoin your index

fingers and separate your little fingers.

They will separate because your children

will grow up, get married, and settle down.

Rejoin your little fingers and try to separate

your ring finger. They will NOT be able to

separate because your life partner is meant

to be with you throughout your entire life,

through thick and thin!

Marriage&Bliss

AMBER MEDIA PRODUCTIONS

If you want your photos to appear in this magazine then you need to call us

to photograph your wedding. We provide photography and video services for weddings, commercial and corporate events.

Call Kenroy (868) 750-2550, 359-5448, 223-8498. Website: www.ambermediatt.com Email: kenroy.ambris@gmail.com

VENUE

DECOR

TOBAGO ACCOMMODATION

PHOTOGRAPHY/ VIDEO

GIFT REGISTRY

ADVERTISE HERE

WEDDING ACCESSORIES

37Marriage & Bliss

&XWH�DV�D�EXWWRQ

37

38

Brides

Grooms

39

$N outdoor wedding is always a picturesque option.

However, there are many choices to consider when

going this route.

First, what size tent do you need?

Tents come in different sizes and one of the first things you

will need to determine is how many and what size tents you need

to accommodate your guests.

The Tent Seating Chart on the other page, can give you a better idea.

When considering spatial requirements, always allow for

enough square footage per guest. Below is the industry average

for the amount of square footage needed per person.

EVENT SEATING INFORMATIONCocktail Parties (stand up) 5 - 6 sq. ft. / personDinner, using 8’ banquet table 8 sq. ft. / personDinner, using 5’ round table 10 sq. ft. / personCathedral Seating 6 sq. ft. / personDance Area 2 sq. ft. / attendee or 5 sq. ft. / dancer

40 Marriage & Bliss

41Marriage & Bliss

Tent Square Stand-Up Buffet Sit Down CathedralSize W x L Footage Cocktail Dinner Dinner Seating

20’ Wide 20 x 20 400 67 50 40 67 20 x 30 600 100 75 60 100 20 x 40 800 133 100 80 133 20 x 50 1,000 167 125 100 167 20 x 60 1,200 200 150 120 200 30’ Wide 30 x 30 900 150 113 90 150 30 x 40 1,200 200 150 120 200 30 x 45 1,350 225 169 135 225 30 x 50 1,500 250 188 150 250 30 x 60 1,800 300 225 180 300 30 x 75 2,250 375 291 225 375 30 x 90 2,700 450 338 270 450 30 x 105 3,150 525 394 315 525 30 x 120 3,600 600 450 306 600

Aside from main traffic aisles, allow 5 feet between tables for

chair and service space where seating is back to back.

Other things to consider when having an outdoor wedding

include:

ȋ�Rain Contingency – This is the most important thing. In

the case of rain, do you have a contingency plan? First, order

sidewalls when ordering your tents as a backup plan in case it gets

windy. Also have an indoor area as a Plan B that can be used in

case of inclement weather.

ȋ�Lighting – speak with your photographer and/or videographer

to confirm whether they have additional lighting facilities. You

should still have beautiful pictures despite being outdoors.

ȋ�Sound System – be sure to do a site visit with your DJ so

that he can walk with adequate equipment and wiring to provide a

full sound system.

Sources:www.ottent.com

www.a-bpartyrental.com

42 Marriage & Bliss

Question: “I’m engaged to be married and just found out I’m expecting! What should I know about planning a wedding during pregnancy?”

:OW! You have lots to celebrate! Either of those life

events is huge on its own, so navigating both at the

same time can be tricky. Doable? Definitely doable,

especially with some smart prep work. Before you

walk adorably waddle down the aisle, consider these tips on plan-

ning and hosting a wedding during pregnancy:

Time it rightIf possible, try to get hitched in your second trimester so by

then your morning sickness should be gone by then or at least

eased up enough so you can face the buffet without barfing. Plus,

if you get married mid-pregnancy rather than at the end, you

will feel more like a bride than a balloon. One more timing tip;

pregnancy fatigue hits you hardest at night, shoot for a daytime

event.

Dress the partEven if you are not showing when you hit the bridal shop,

let the consultant know how far along you will be when you

tie the knot. She will advise you on which size will be best for

your belly-to-be. And do not let that large number bug you.

Wedding dresses tend to run a couple sizes bigger than regular

clothing, and it is easier to take in a too-big gown than let

out a too-small one. Plus those extra inches are going toward

building a beautiful baby.

While you can wear almost any style you want, baby bumps

look especially elegant in an empire-waist silhouette, which is

Wedding Planning

during Pregnancy

43Marriage & Bliss

snug at the bustline and roomier in the belly. No matter which

design you prefer for your wedding during pregnancy, you will

be more comfortable in loose, light fabrics, such as chiffon and

crepe. Stiff or heavy materials like satin, taffeta, and tulle can

up your odds of overheating.

As far as shoes go, you may need to pump up your

pump size to a half- or even a full-size bigger than your pre-

pregnancy kicks, since pregnancy can make your feet and

ankles swell. Consider skipping the high heels altogether -

expectant moms aren’t known for perfect balance - or at least

keeping a pair of ballet flats or sandals handy as a backup.

Luckily, there are lots of down-to-earth and not at all dowdy

options out there.

Maximize that glowRaging hormones can wreak some serious havoc on your

complexion during pregnancy, but a skilled makeup artist

should be able to handle whatever is going on. So if a pro is

within your budget, consider that money well spent. And while

you might not be able to get a Brazilian blow-out since that

and other chemical based treatments are off-limits right now,

chances are you will be sporting some extra-lush locks under

that veil.

Stress lessFrom choosing the right caterer to picking the most fabulous

flowers to perfecting your seating chart, wedding planning can

be pretty nerve-racking. But pregnancy and stress is not a great

combo, so consider toning down the party to something you can

handle more easily. Or hire a wedding planner or ask a willing

friend or that fabulous fiancé of yours to take on some of the

tougher tasks. And, to keep your cool when planning a wedding

during pregnancy, make this your mantra should people push

your anxiety buttons: “For my baby’s health and my own, I

need to stop discussing this right now.” Who could argue with

that?

Also, while pregnant brides are not that unusual anymore,

some people on your guest list may be vociferously offended

that you are expecting before the wedding. All you can do is

tell them, “I’m thrilled to become a wife and mother. I hope

you can share that excitement with me.” It might sting a bit if

they cannot, but it will truly be their loss to miss out on your

big day.

Celebrate smartlySkip the champagne, but keep your water glass full since

staying hydrated is important for you and your baby. Another

reason you will want a light, loose wedding dress: You will

need to pee more than the average bride, and going to the

bathroom in a ball gown is tough even without a baby bump.

No matter how busy you get greeting guests, do not forget to

eat. Enlighten your caterer about what you can and cannot eat.

Even if you are queasy, be sure to eat a protein-and-complex

carb snack, like cheese on whole-grain crackers, so you will

have the energy for that first dance as a married lady — and the

many to follow. Speaking of energy, take a load off every once

in a while during the party — your guests will understand if

you and your belly need a break between dances.

Here is to a wonderful wedding — and a healthy baby to

boot!

Source: www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy

44 Marriage & BlissLyndian & ShurLand

18th auguSt 2012

Sherwin & JamiLia 1St JuLy 2012

marSha & CurtiS 13th OCtOber 2012

Kendra & riChard 30th June 2012

KOfi & rayia 24th June 2012

dexter & berLOnne 29th JuLy 2012

44

45Marriage & Bliss

tamiCa & raphaeL 26th auguSt 2012

Kevin & aLana 12th auguSt 2012

teSSa & miChaeL1St September 2012

CarLene & Jeffery 8th September 2012

Marriage & Bliss

47Marriage & Bliss

partiesBridal

Know any couples celebrating over 40 years of wedded bliss? Call us at 750-2550 to have their wedding photo featured right here in 0DUULDJH��%OLVV as an inspiration to other couples.

Darius and Carmelita Bhola, 30th June 1962

Lawrence and Barbara De Freitas, 17th December 1955

50years

57years

49Marriage & Bliss

The photos in this

magazine are testimony of some of

the fun we usually have at weddings with our

brides and grooms. If you want to capture these

fun moments at your wedding and be featured

in our magazine call Kenroy to photograph

and/or videotape your wedding.

750-2550 or 359 5448. Kenroy.ambris@gmail.com

50 Marriage & Bliss

Hey, brides, tuck a sugar cube into your

glove — according to Greek culture, the

sugar will sweeten your union.

In English tradition, Wednesday is

considered the “best day” to marry,

although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday

is for health.

The groom carries the bride across the

threshold to bravely protect her from evil

spirits lurking below.

Saturday is the unluckiest wedding day,

according to English folklore. Funny

— it’s the most popular day of the week to

marry!

The tradition of wearing a white wedding

dress was claimed to have started back in

the 1840’s by Queen Victoria. Before then,

brides simply wore their best dress except in

Japan where white was the colour of choice

long before.

Most expensive wedding ever? The

marriage of Sheik Rashid Bin Saeed Al

Maktoum’s son to Princess Salama in Dubai

in May 1981. The price tag? $44 million.

In Denmark, brides and grooms

traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil

spirits.

Wedding bells are an important symbol of

a wedding. Traditionally, it was believed

that demons were scared off by loud

sounds, so following a wedding ceremony,

anything that could make noise was used to

create a diversion.

The tradition of a wedding cake comes

from ancient Rome, where revelers

broke a loaf of bread over a bride’s head for

fertility’s sake.

Rain on your wedding day is actually

considered good luck, according to

Hindu tradition.

Wedding Traditions

SUDOKU

DOUBLE PUZZLE

Each row, column and group of squares enclosed by the bold lines (also called a box), must contain numbers 1-9 and letters A, B, C, D, E and F only once.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

8.

9.

10.

7.RIRMEGAA WOSV

RETTAER

DNSA COEENRYM

NUYTI DCELNA

DIKGAPPINN TEH REIBD

TODROOU WIDGEND

MICSOROEMP

NRGI GIFNER

PENTANRG

NIBREENDWAR

DUBGET

INSTRUCTIONS:

Unscramble each of the clue words. Each clue word is from an article which appears in this

Issue of Marriage & Bliss.Copy the letters in the num-

bered cells to other cells with the same number.

INSTRUCTIONS:Unscramble each of the clue words. Each clue word is from an article which appears in this Issue of Marriage & Bliss.Copy the letters in the numbered cells to other cells with the same number.