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Introduction and Thesis

Introduction:

The introduction relates the topic to the main point of the essay.

The introduction is composed of topic material and the thesis.

The introduction funnels general topic information towards the specific thesis.

The introduction often contains the necessary background information that your reader needs to

understand your points.

The introduction may also contain: a hook, a quote, a shocking fact, background information, a story, a

definition, or a summary of an event in order to draw the reader’s attention into the essay.

Narrowing a topic

One effective way of focusing on your Topic is to develop a list of specific questions about at the start.

This strategy has a number of advantages. Each question narrows the general topic area, suggesting a more

manageable essay. Also, simply phrasing your topic as a question gives you a starting point; your work has

focus and direction from the outset. Finally, a one-or-two-sentence answer to your questions often provides you

with a preliminary thesis statement. Consider the following general topic of CELL PHONES. From it a series

of questions could be asked to begin to “funnel” down toward a position, a statement of belief, or an opinion

about the topic, called the thesis.

CELL PHONES

Why did the cell phone get started?

What is so great about owning a cell phone?

How have cell phones changed American life?

What kinds of functions do cell phones offer?

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What do people today look for when choosing a cell phone?

Preliminary (Working) Thesis Statement: The fact that the CELL PHONE today is not just a mode of verbal and

aural communication, but also a camera, a computer messaging system, an internet access point, and even a

GPS system, makes owning a cell phone in today’s world an absolute for the average person.

Thesis:

The thesis should be towards the beginning of your paper and is often the last sentence of your

introduction.

For short academic essays, the thesis is usually only one sentence long.

The thesis is the central point or the main controlling idea of the essay.

o Note: There is a difference between a “Subject” and a “Topic". A subject is the main agent in a

sentence. A topic is the main focus of an essay.

Try to keep the thesis simple; too many details will give away what is to come later in the body of the

paper.

The thesis is the reason for the paper to exist, but it should not expressly state “this paper will

cover/explain/etc.”. The author should not draw attention to the essay in this way.

The thesis gives the paper a direction, therefore the essay must support the thesis and the thesis must

match the paper.

Writing a Thesis Statement

I. Determine what kind of paper you are writing.

An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or

idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.

An analytical thesis statement will explain:

a. What you are analyzing

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b. the parts of your analysis

c. The order of your evidence/analysis

- Example of an analytical thesis statement:

An analysis of the college admission process reveals two principle problems facing counselors: accepting

students with high test scores or students with strong extracurricular backgrounds.

The paper that follows should:

- explain the analysis of the college admission process

- explain the two problems facing admission counselors

An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.

An expository thesis statement will explain:

a. What you are going to explain to them

b. The categories you are using to organize your explanation

c. The order of your categories

- Example of an expository thesis statement:

The life of the typical college student is characterized by time spent studying, attending class, and socializing

with peers.

The paper that follows should:

- explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with peers

An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence.

The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and effect statement or an

interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true

based on the evidence provided.

An argumentative thesis statement explains:

a. Your claim or assertion

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b. The reasons/evidence that support your claim

c. The order in which you will be presenting your reasons and evidence.

- Example of an argumentative thesis statement:

High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community service projects before

entering college in order to increase their maturity and global awareness.

The paper that follows should:

- present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue community

projects before entering college.

If you are writing a text that does not fall under these three categories (ex. narrative), a thesis

statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader and is often

subtly worked into the opening just like any other paper.

A narrative essay tells a story. Usually you will want to indicate the lesson you learned because of an

event, and how you were changed by this event.

A narrative thesis statement will tell your audience:

a. The event (with details).

b. How it was important (what it meant to you as a person).

c. What you learned or how you grew, and how you are different as a result of this event.

II. Begin with a working thesis.

Don’t expect to write your thesis exactly how you want it on the first try. Just like your essay as a whole,

your thesis statement should be a work-in-progress, so expect to revise and edit it. If you are having trouble

starting your thesis statement, a good way to begin may be to state the opinion or idea that your wish to focus

on throughout your paper. Later, you will probably want to revise or reword your thesis so that it doesn’t sound

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so simplistic.

Some easy procedures to make a working thesis:

1. Start with your topic and an argument

(i.e. “Dogs are better than cats.”)

2. Tack on a “because”…

3. Think of some reasons you could use to support this idea.

(i.e. “loyalty, intelligence, trainability, usefulness, maintenance, and friendliness.”)

4. Pick around 2-4 of your favorite reasons and list them after the “because”.

(i.e. “Dogs are better than cats because they are more loyal, friendlier, and smarter than cats.”)

Helpful formula methods.

Formula #1: Thesis = Topic + Arguable Opinion + Significance (Support)

Formula #2: _______ is _______ because _______ , _______ , and _______ .

Example: Dogs are better than cats because reason 1 , reason 2 , and reason 3 .

It is not necessary that you list out your reasons in your thesis. In fact, it is sometimes preferable to sum

up all of your reasons into one main reason that you will argue for. Many papers will require students to support

their argument with multiple reasons; however, their thesis should not list every reason they will talk about in

their paper. It should instead argue for the main point of the paper, which sums up and relates to all other

points in the paper. The thesis only mentions the main category that all other support fits under.

Formula #3: _______ is _______ because _____________________ .

Example: ________ is _________ because main point of the paper .

Note: A thesis does not have to strictly follow the “is” / “because” format. There are many other ways to

structure a thesis.

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Activity: #1 (Samples)

1. Honda Accords are better than small, unreliable trucks.

o This is not a Thesis even though it has Topic and Opinion it lacks reasons/support.

2. Honda Accords are vehicles because they have four tires, enclosed cabins, and trunks.

o This is not a Thesis because this is a definition. It lacks an opinion.

3. Honda Accords are the best vehicles the world will ever see because of their efficient gas mileage, their

durability, and they are inexpensive enough that most consumers can afford them

o Don’t let fancy language trick you. This is not a Thesis because the opinion cannot be argued.

The future is unknown.

4. Honda Accords do stuff better than trucks.

o This is not a true Thesis, because it is too vague. It is a good working Thesis to start with though.

5. Honda Accords be good cars since they have good gas mileage, don’t break easy, and are really cheap.

o Do not let the informal language trick you. This is a Thesis because it has all of the main parts,

although it does need refining.

III: Remain Flexible until the end

The thesis statement should remain flexible until the paper is actually finished. While writing the rest of

the paper, you may discover new ideas that ought to be found in the thesis statement. You then need to go back

and tweak the original thesis to include your new ideas so that it matches the rest of the paper. Remember it is

easier to change the thesis than it is to change the whole paper.

IV. Check it when you are finished

The thesis must match the rest of the paper, including the order in which the ideas are listed, so check to

make sure all of the paper’s main arguments, opinions, and ideas are contained within the thesis and are in the

correct order. Work on varying the language or changing the form a little so that it does not seem so simplistic

or like you are saying the same thing over and over again. After the body of the paper is complete, it is easier to

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freshen up the thesis and to give the thesis clearer focus, because you know exactly what the paper is about, so

it is okay to wait until you are finished to do this.

Be direct but not too direct.

Your thesis should provide your paper with direction and focus, but avoid making it too obvious and

simplistic. Make sure there is an argument contained in your paper that someone would debate or that there is

information in your essay that people might not know. (i.e. nothing as simple as “kittens shouldn’t be stepped

on”) Also, try to stay away from phrases like “The purpose of this paper is…” and “In this paper, I will talk

about/explain/focus on…” because they are usually redundant. The reader already knows this is an essay and

that you are going to talk about some specific issues. It is okay to use phrases like these in your working thesis,

but make sure to go back and revise so that your thesis statement will sound more sophisticated.

Some ways to begin:

Because first impressions are important, a successful essay will begin well. In general, that beginning

will be a one or two paragraph introduction aimed at stimulating the reader’s interest and presenting the thesis.

A writer can approach the introduction many ways, some of which are illustrated in the examples below.

Open with an Arresting Statement

Parents do not want to be parents anymore. That is what Ann Landers discovered after asking her readers

whether they would have children if they had it to do over again. An overwhelming majority responded no. I

can only conclude from this that too many of us become parents for the wrong reasons.

Provide Background Information

Five percent of the population is afflicted with attention deficit disorder, a neurological condition that makes

people distractible, hyperactive, and unable to concentrate, At one time, we thought ADD was a childhood

disorder that was outgrown by the age of eighteen. Now we know differently. Thus, colleges should make

special provisions for the significant number of students who have attention deficit disorder.

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Tell a Story

The new kid walked into fourth-period English with his head down. He handed a slip to Mrs. Kuhlins, who

announced, Frankie is our new student, class. I trust that you will make him welcome.” With that, Frankie

brushed a stray hair out of his eyes and shuffled to a seat in the back. His clothes were hopelessly out of date,

his hair was a mess. But as he passed my desk, our eyes met, and I saw something there. At that moment, I

knew there was something special about this new kid.

Establish Yourself as Someone Knowledgeable about the Topic

When I was six, I joined a T-ball league and spent a glorious summer at third base. When I was ten, I began

playing intramural basketball and learned the pleasures of rebounding and making foul shots. In junior high

school, I began running middle distances for the track team and learned the joy of crossing the finish line in one

last burst of speed. In high school, I lettered in three sports. As a result of all of these years of playing team

sports, I have come to realize that there are three kinds of coaching.

Explain Your Paper

If you are planning to buy a used car, you run the risk of making a very costly mistake. For this reason, you

should know what to look for when you examine and test-drive an automobile.

Describe Something

His belly swelled over his beltline and cascaded toward the bony knees that poked out between the white knee

socks and navy polyester stretch shorts. His face was twisted into a permanent scowl, and his eyes squinted

against the sun until they formed slits. To call roll, he barked each boy’s name and checked it off of the

clipboard that was never more than an arm’s reach away. I was only five minutes into seventh-grade gym, but I

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could tell Mr. Winnikee deserved his reputation as the gym teacher from hell.

Define Something

A grandmother is supposed to be a white-haired, chubby woman who rolls her stockings below the knees and

spends her days knitting scarves and baking cookies for her grandchildren. However, someone forgot to tell my

mother’s mother all this because, believe me, she is not the typical grandmother.

Use an Interesting or Pertinent Quotation

Last week at his press conference, the governor said, “It is with regret that I announce a 20 percent subsidy cut

to higher education. I believe, however, that this cut is the least painful way to balance the state budget.” The

governor is wrong; these cuts will have a catastrophic effect on the people of this state.

Transitions

Making Paragraphs Flow

“Cohesion” is the term for connection at the sentence level. Where “coherence” refers to how well ideas relate

to one another, cohesion simply deals with the interrelation of sentences – what we casually refer to as “flow.”

Cohesion provides the reader a smoother read, one that doesn’t disrupt their thought process, and therefore

allows the reader to pay more attention to the argument you’re making on the page. Any time the reader pulls

back to wonder about a grammatical mistake or, in this case, to wonder how one sentence relates to another, is

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wasted time that could have been used convincing the reader of your point of view. Such instances also disrupt,

and potentially destroy, the reader’s trust in your ethos as an author.

So how do we achieve this cohesion, this flow? The answer lies in our use of transition words and

phrases. Various words imply various kinds of relationships between the sentences that precede and follow

them, and thus your judicial use of these transitions will suggest how your sentences – and thus your ideas –

relate to each other. Think of them as signposts of a sort, directing the reader which way to mentally “turn” as

he/she proceeds from sentence to sentence.

A paragraph has coherence, or flow, if its details fit together clearly in a way that readers can easily

follow. Here are several ways to achieve paragraph coherence. Essentially, an author must take the main

controlling idea of one paragraph and relate it to the main controlling idea of the next paragraph.

+ Using Spatial Order: Paragraphs organized in spatial order look at something from top to bottom, left to

right, or near to far. Spatial order is a common way of organizing descriptive paragraphs.

+Using Chronological Order: Paragraphs organized chronologically arrange events as they occurred, from the

earliest even to the later ones. Chronological order is used frequently in narrative or expository paragraphs.

+Using Logical Order: One common way to organize paragraphs logically is to follow a general-to-specific

pattern, which usually opens with a general or abstract idea followed by a number of more specific points that

substantiate or elaborate on the generalization.

+Using Associational Order: This type of paragraph is organized by means of a series of associations from the

writer’s own experiences. This chain of association often relies on a central image, memory, or impression. This

can be used effectively, but it can also be dangerous if the reader cannot make the same associations as you.

+Repeating Key Words and Phrases: Weaving in repeated words and phrases—or pronouns that point to

them—not only links sentences, but also alerts readers to the importance of those words or phrases in the large

piece of writing.

+Using Parallelism: Parallel structures can help connect the sentences within a paragraph. By using repeated

grammatical and syntactical structures, the writer can force the reader make connections between ideas due to

the inherent comparison of parallel structure.

+Using Transitions: Transitions are words such as so, however, and thus that signal relationships between

sentences and paragraphs. However, a writer should have an intended affect he/she is trying to achieve when

using transitions. Transitions cannot be chosen randomly, as each one serves a specific purpose, and not all

transitions are interchangeable. Additionally, single word transitions should be used in conjunction with the

controlling ideas of paragraphs, and seldom stand alone. Commonly used transitions are (but not limited to) the

following:

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1. To Signal Sequence: again, also, and, and then, besides, finally, first… second… third, furthermore,

last, moreover, next, still, too.

2. To Signal Time: after a few days, after a while, afterward, as long as, as soon as, at last, at that time,

before, earlier, immediately, in the meantime, in the past, lately, later, meanwhile, now, presently,

simultaneously, since, so far, soon, then, thereafter, until, when.

3. To Signal Comparison: again, also, in the same way, likewise, once more, similarly.

4. To Signal Contrast: although, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead,

nevertheless, nonetheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, still, though, yet.

5. To Signal Examples: after all, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course, specifically, such

as, the following example, to illustrate.

6. To Signal Cause and Effect: accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence,

so, then, therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end.

7. To Signal Place: above, adjacent to, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far, father on, here, near,

nearby, opposite to, there, to the left/right.

8. To Signal Concession: although it is true that, granted that, I admit that, it may appear that, naturally,

of course.

*Note: Since these often include the first person or a intentional insertion of the author’s

voice, this may affect the way the reader interprets the author’s ethos and should be used

sparingly in academic writing.

9. To Signal Summary, Repetition, or Conclusion: as a result, as has been noted, as I have said, as

mentioned earlier, as we have seen, in any event, finally, in a word, in conclusion, in the end, in

other words, in short, in summary, in the final analysis, on the whole, therefore, thus, to conclude, to

summarize.

*Note: Although the transitions for #9 exist, avoid using them. These exist more for a

spoken speech or an extensive research paper/report.

Another way to look at these relationships

Logical Relationship: Transitional Expression

Similarity: also, in the same way, just as…, so too, likewise, similarly

Exception/Contrast: but, however, in spite of, on the one hand…on the other hand, nevertheless, nonetheless,

notwithstanding, in contrast, on the contrary, still, yet

Sequence/Order: first, second, third…, next, then, finally

Time: after, afterward, at least, before, currently, during, earlier, immediately, later, meanwhile, now, recently,

simultaneously, subsequently, then

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Example: for example, for instance, namely, specifically, to illustrate

Emphasis: even, indeed, in fact, of course, truly

Place/Position: above, adjacent, below, beyond, here, in front, in back, nearby, there

Cause and Effect: accordingly, consequently, hence, so, therefore, thus.

Additional Support of Evidence: additionally, again, also, and, as well, besides, equally important, further,

furthermore, in addition, moreover, then

Other Common Methods for Achieving Cohesion

Transition words (conjunctive adverbs) are the most typical method for achieving cohesion in writing;

they are a tool you will need to use in order to write smooth, sophisticated prose. However, there are by no

means the only tricks writers have for making paragraphs “flow” together. Other options include:

Repetition: Repeating a word or phrase is probably the second most common technique for linking

ideas together in our reader’s mind, for bridging our sentences together, and for strengthening cohesion.

However, be aware that too much repetition hurts your writing; over time and through ongoing trial and error,

you will learn what a proper amount of repetition is and what is just redundant and boring.

Synonyms: Synonyms are words that have identical or nearly identical meanings (be aware, sometimes

the slight difference in meaning is important). Thus using synonyms is one trick you can use to repeat important

ideas without actually repeating the same words – thereby avoiding the stylistic fault of too much repetition.

Also, this cohesion technique is a great method to build your vocabulary.

Pronoun and Demonstratives: Remember, pronouns (I, he, she, it, they) by nature stand in for nouns,

while demonstrative (this, that, these, those) take much of their meaning from their ability to point back to

something has already been discussed. By using these two common types of words, we grammatically create

bridges between past sentences and our current sentences, thereby once again forging a link between the

thoughts and improving our cohesion. Of course, we must beware using these tools so much that the reader

becomes confused as to what exactly we are referring back to. When these techniques are used well, they are an

easy and convenient trick to strengthen our cohesion.

Strategies for Writing a Conclusion

Conclusions are often the most difficult part of an essay to write, and many writers feel that they have nothing

left to say after having written the paper. A writer needs to keep in mind that the conclusion is often what a

reader remembers best. Your conclusion should be the best part of your paper.

A conclusion should

stress the importance of the thesis statement,

give the essay a sense of completeness, and

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leave a final impression on the reader.

Suggestions

Answer the question "So What?"

Show your readers why this paper was important. Show them that your paper was meaningful and

useful.

Synthesize, don't summarize

o Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it. Show them how the points

you made and the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together.

Redirect your readers

o Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world.

If your introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to

general. Think globally.

Create a new meaning

o You don't have to give new information to create a new meaning. By demonstrating how your

ideas work together, you can create a new picture. Often the sum of the paper is worth more than

its parts.

Strategies

Echoing the introduction: Echoing your introduction can be a good strategy if it is meant to bring the

reader full-circle. If you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that

your essay was helpful in creating a new understanding.

Example

Introduction

From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against the blue

sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds

of Adventureland. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an old-

fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced. Disneyland may have been built

for children, but it brings out the child in adults.

Conclusion

I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving the front

gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children, toddling along and

struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the

parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit sad to think that in

a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to my desk. But then I smiled to

think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.

Challenging the reader: By issuing a challenge to your readers, you are helping them to redirect the

information in the paper, and they may apply it to their own lives.

Example

Though serving on a jury is not only a civic responsibility but also an interesting experience, many

people still view jury duty as a chore that interrupts their jobs and the routine of their daily lives.

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However, juries are part of America's attempt to be a free and just society. Thus, jury duty challenges us

to be interested and responsible citizens.

Looking to the future: Looking to the future can emphasize the importance of your paper or redirect

the readers' thought process. It may help them apply the new information to their lives or see things

more globally.

Example

Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying

careers continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of

teachers, but the teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. And

when youth suffers, the future suffers.

Posing questions: Posing questions, either to your readers or in general, may help your readers gain a

new perspective on the topic, which they may not have held before reading your conclusion. It may also

bring your main ideas together to create a new meaning.

Example

Campaign advertisements should help us understand the candidate's qualifications and positions on the

issues. Instead, most tell us what a boob or knave the opposing candidate is, or they present general

images of the candidate as a family person or God-fearing American. Do such advertisements contribute

to creating an informed electorate or a people who choose political leaders the same way they choose

soft drinks and soap?

Strategies to avoid Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as "in conclusion," "in summary," or "in closing."

Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing.

Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.

Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.

Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.

Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an analytical paper.

Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.