FOUNDATION OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

FOUNDATION OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSInterpersonal RelationshipInterpersonal relationships are connections that we develop with other people as direct result of our interpersonal communication with them. Interpersonal Intelligence - the ability to relate effectively to others is considered as one major form of human intelligence.

Continue..Concept of interpersonal relationships involves social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. Such persons may interact overtly, covertly, face-to-face; or may remain effectively unknown to each other It is an ongoing connection we make with another person that can be formed either because of Unintentional circumstances or because of Intentional choice.ContinueRelationship of CircumstancesThose that exist because of the situation in which we find ourselves or our lives overlap with others in some way. For example Mother, father, sister, subordinate, teacher, boss etc.Relationship of ChoiceThose we choose to initiate, maintain, and terminate. For example friends, employees to whom we appointed etc. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS AND BEHAVIORIn management literature, the term Interpersonal refers to relationships and interactions with bosses, leaders, subordinates, peers, suppliers, and customers. Interpersonally competent managers display Well-managed skills of persuasionNegotiationInfluence and impressionExchange of support and contributionThese are called interpersonal skills and also known as interactive skills, people skills, or social skills. The basic skills practiced by interpersonally competent people include:ListeningQuestioning and PresentingFacilitating othersAsserting selfNegotiating and Group workingUnderstanding interpersonal cuesManage negative emotionsDeveloping and building trust

ContinueIMPORTANCE OF IPRManagers carry out their job functions by interacting with others: superiors, subordinates, peers, suppliers, and customers. Managers spent most (78 per cent) of their time in relating to people, face-to-face, over the telephone or through written communications. Other studies found that "even in those few moments when managers are alone, they are frequently interrupted by people". All these interactions constitute the realm of interpersonal relations in management. IMPORTANCE OF IPRInterpersonal behaviour helps develop, sustain or prevent certain kinds of relationships between and among people. The basic assumption of interpersonal relationship model is that "people need people," and that all individuals seek to establish compatible relationships with other individuals in their social interactions. Effective managerial decision making and, especially, implementation of decisions have been found to be influenced by interpersonal relations in organizations.

IMPORTANCE OF IPRHawthorne studies refers to the impact of interpersonal relations in the work group. It was found that morale and productivity in the experimental work group continued to increase even after the improved physical working conditions were restored to their original level. Interpersonal relations is one of the major sources of stress; personal needs are significant moderators of stress; and stress influences performance.

Transactional AnalysisA model for explaining why and how:People think like they doPeople act like they doPeople interact/communicate with othersBased on published psychological work such as:Games People Play (Dr. Eric Berne)Im OK - - Youre OK (Dr. Tom Harris)Born to Win (Dr. Dorothy Jongeward)This model is developed by Eric Berne to understand the interactions of people and to improve the communication with others for improving the human social environment.The theory outlines how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we relate and communicate with others, and offers suggestions and interventions which will enable us to change and grow. TA is underpinned by the philosophy that: people can change we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted Our Brain (according to Berne)Determines what we think and how we actActs like a tape recorder while recordingEventsAssociated feelingsBerne defined an ego state as a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behavior.ContinueEGO STATE is metaphorical groupings of thought, emotion and behavior. Berne identified mainly three Ego States: Parent, Adult and ChildThese three ego states have nothing to do with the chronological age of the persons and they are related only with the psychological age.A person of any age may have these ego states in varying degrees. According to Berne, "although we cannot directly observe these ego states, we can observe behaviour and from this infer which of the three ego states are operating at that moment".Structural AnalysisThere are 3 distinct parts or ego statesParentAdultChildHe called the three ego states Parent, Adult and Child. Each one of the ego state is a effect of mind module, a system of communication that is having its own language and function; the Parents is a language of values, the Adults is a language of logic and rationality and the Childs is a language of emotion.

Continue

Parent Ego StateThoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on messages or lessons learned from parents and other parental or authoritarian sourcesShoulds and should nots; oughts and ought nots; always and neverPrejudicial views (not based on logic or facts) on things such as:religiondresssalespeopletraditionsworkproductsmoneyraising childrencompaniesNurturing views (sympathetic, caring views)Critical views (fault finding, judgmental, condescending views)PARENT EGOThere are two forms of Parent we can play.

The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned and often may appear as a mother-figure (though men can play it too). They seek to keep the Child safe and offer unconditional love, calming them when they are troubled.The Controlling (or Critical) Parent, on the other hand, tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to do, perhaps transferring values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. Person with this ego state, act like domineering parents. They can be overprotective, loving, dogmatic, distant, and critical.

Adult Ego StateThe Adult is a data-processing computer, which grinds out decisions after computing the information from the parent, the child, and the data which the Adult has gathered and is gathering.Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on objective analysis of information (data, facts)Make decisions based on logic, computations, probabilities, etc. (not emotion)ADULT EGOThe Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting. The Adult is comfortable with themselves and is, for many of us, our 'ideal self'.They can called a task function also.Child Ego StateThoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions, impulses and feelings. Child-like examplesImpulsiveSelf-centeredAngryFearfulHappyPleasure seekingRebelliousHappyCuriousEager to pleaseCHILD EGOThere are three types of Child we can play.

The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware, impulsive, affectionate and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo, etc.). They like playing and are open and vulnerable.The cutely-named Little Professor is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child.The Adaptive Child is the trained one and he is likely to do what parents insist on and learn to change themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS

Behavioral pattern of Each ego statesEGO STATESBEHAVIORSCONTROLLING PARENT+Constructive, organizing, Firm-Autocratic, Fault-finding, dismissiveNURTURING PARENT+Supportive, Compassionate, caring-Smothering, Invasive, OverprotectiveADAPTIVE CHILD+Accommodating, Assertive, Co-operative-Fearful, Rebellious, CompliantFREE CHILD+Creative, Curious, Playful-Egocentric, Wild, InconsiderateEgo PortraitsPeople have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by larger circle in a diagramParentAdultChildPACPACPACHuman Interaction AnalysisA transaction = any interaction or communication between 2 peopleTransactions are the flow of communication or interaction between two people, and more specifically the unspoken psychological flow of communication that runs in parallel. A transaction starts with a stimulus and ends with a response to the stimulus.

Since each individual involved in the transaction has the three ego states, the transactions are between the various ego states. People send and receive messages out of and into their different ego statesHow people say something (what others hear?) just as important as what is saidTypes of communication, interactionsComplementaryCrossedUlterior

Intonations: Its the Way You Say It!Placement of the emphasis

Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?

Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?Why dont I take you to dinner tonight?

What it means

I was going to take someone else.Instead of the guy you were going with.Im trying to find a reason why I shouldnt take you.

Do you have a problem with me?Instead of going on your own.Instead of lunch tomorrow.Not tomorrow night.

Complementary TransactionsInteractions, responses, actions regarded as appropriate and expected from another person.A simple, reciprocal transaction occurs when both partners are addressing the ego state the other is in. These are also called Complementary transactions.Parallel communication arrows, communication continues.Example 1:#1What time do you have?#2Ive got 11:15.Example 2: "Is your room tidy yet?" (P to C) "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (C to P)PACPACComplementary TransactionComplementary Transactions

PACPACYoure three hours late, I want an explanation.You have very little know Of this project MANAGEREMPLOYEEIm really sorry, I slept through the alarm, it wont happen again, I promise.This is a complementary transaction because the employee accepts the child ego state assigned to him by the manager and responds in child ego state.29Complementary Transactions contdExample :

PACPAC#1Youre late again!#2Im sorry. It wont happen again.Crossed TransactionsCrossed transactions occur when a person responds from a different ego-state from the one to which the communication was addressed. When this occurs, difficulties in social interaction emerge and communication is likely to be broken down.Crossed communication arrows, communication breakdown.

Example 1#1 "Have you been able to write that report?" #2 "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (C to P) PACPACCrossed Transactions contdExample 2#1Youre late again!#2Yeah, I know, I had a flat tire.

PACPACUlterior TransactionsUlterior transactions occur when there is one message on the observable surface and another message hidden. At least one other ego-state is therefore covertly involved when communication normally takes place between two ego-states. Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those explicitly statedExample#1Look at your watch, what is the time now?PACPACUlterior Transactions ContdThere is a social and an ulterior level transaction. The social level is the socially acceptable stimulus... E.g., do you know what time it is?? The ulterior level can be either implying: Parent > Child ... "You lazy boy, you are late!" Child > Parent... "Please don't be cross, I would definitely come on time tomorrow" The meaning will be made clear to the receiver by the use of non-verbal language clues.