Interpersonal Communication

Styles

Parent Educator Partnership Webinar

February 17, 2011

Naperville, Illinois

Jennifer Aldred-Berry, Ph.D.

RESPRO Consultant

West 40 ISC #2

Big Picture of our Time

Basic Communication Model

The Need for Good Interpersonal Skills

Development and Maintenance

Communication Styles

Practical Tips

2 Types of Conflicts

Conflict Management Strategies

Closure

The Need for Good Interpersonal Skills

Success is influenced by the quality of the your relationships

Make expectations clear as opposed to keeping expectations unspoken causing others to guess or act on assumptions

Development and Maintenance of

Relationships

Use the reciprocal nature of relationships to create interpersonal cooperation, trust and positive self-fulfilling prophecies

Strained when expectations are not met

Deteriorate/Stagnate when out of balance

Development and Maintenance of

Relationships

Grow when communication is used to enhance the relationship

Understand communication styles

ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT!!!

ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT!!!

ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT!!!

Communication Model

Sender Receiver

Communication Model

Sender Receiver

Encode

DecodeCHANNEL

Communication Model

Sender Receiver

Encode

DecodeCHANNEL

Noise

Noise

Communication Styles and

Relationships

Understanding feedback and disclosure differences can lead to more successful relationships Feedback can vary

Disclosure can vary

Classifying communication styles is a way to understand your own (and others) frame of reference High scores represent the style you typically use

Second highest score represents your use when under stress

There is no perfect style – each one has strengths and weaknesses

Communication Styles Survey

4 Styles of Communication

Open

Closed

Hidden

Blind

A Graphic

Open

HiddenClosed

Blind

Open Communicators

Equally interested in people’s needs and team productivity

May disclose too much too soon and ask for too much feedback

Moderately open style is most successful when employee decision-making and team work is needed, when change is welcome, when quality work is expected and when the organization is engaged in global communication

Least successful when the open style is perceived negatively, when tasks are simple and require no teamwork, and when immediate decisions are needed

Practical tips for communicating with a

Open Style Communicator

Follow the other’s lead on sharing personal things and be open but use tact

All Open Style communicators need to be where they can develop friendships and be challenged

Don’t be manipulative with Open Style customers, listen and respond to their needs and don’t defer to them.

Hidden Communicators

High on feedback (good listenters) and low on disclosure (hide their feelings and knowledge)

Very people-oriented, friendly and generally well-liked

Most successful when a social climate is important, teamwork is social, not problem-solving, and adequate performance is accepted.

Least successful when tasks are complex and require problem solving and when excellent performance is expected.

Practical tips for communicating with a

Hidden Style Communicator

May not be loyal and may distrust you, may not let you know where you stand, but they are generally liked and sympathetic

May either be a ―yes‖ person and motivated by public praise or they are only expressing acceptable ideas

Get to know a Hidden communicator well before presenting your agenda in order to develop trust, use referrals and listen carefully for their true opinions

Closed Communicators

Low on disclosure and low on feedback

Usually hard working and are more comfortable with things than with people

Most successful when little interaction is needed, going by the book is valued and subordinates need little supervision

Least successful when the job requires high interaction, in a high-risk team project that requires creativity and others want or need supervision

Practical tips for communicating with a

Closed Style Communicator

Communicate carefully – don’t threaten or question, avoid making waves and don’t expect praise or guidance

Make the chain of command clear to closed employees, limit criticism and give them specific instructions

Don’t expect a closed communicator to openly express themselves

Blind Communicators Low on feedback and high on disclosure Not afraid to express their expectations or needs;

they don’t ask for feedback because they don’t feel they need it.

Thrive in situations where they can demonstrate their expertise, experience and authority

Neurotic blind communicators mask insecurities behind an authoritarian mask

Most successful when their expertise is needed, in a time of crisis or change, or when an immediate decision is needed

Least successful when there are many personnel problems, when others can make their own decisions and when creativity is critical.

Practical tips for communicating with a

Blind Style Communicator

Learn from Blind Communicators – they are very task oriented, appeal to their sense of self-confidence and get their support

Can be argumentative and inflexible, are self-assured but may take criticism poorly and they like to be in charge of projects

Blind communicators will give other people suggestions on how to improve their work, they like to be in control and don’t like to be kept waiting

Flexibility of Styles

Open

HiddenClosed

Blind

o Use Feedback effectively

o Use Disclosure effectively

Managing Conflict

Managing Conflict in Relationships

Teams experience two types of conflict

Type A

Type C

Type A Conflict

Type A stands for Affective and Emotional

Occurs when relationships and trust are weak

Conflict sidetracks the team

Creates defensiveness and anger and tends to be evaluative

Type C (Cognitive) – conflict improves team productivity and relationships

Type C Conflict

Type C stands for Cognitive

Occurs when relationships/trust are strong

Agree to disagree and debate

Ground rule—‖Ideas are separate from person‖

Creates feeling of satisfaction

Improves team productivity

Conflict Strategies

Competing Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding Accommodating

Asserti

ve

Un

asserti

ve

Uncooperative Cooperative

Concern for Others

Co

ncern

fo

r S

elf

Determining How you Manage Conflict

Can Help you Confirm Your

Communication Style

Blind

Competition

Forcing

Hidden

Accommodating

Smoothing

Closed

Avoidance

Withdrawal

Open

Collaboration

Problem-Solving

All Styles

Compromising

Conclusions

Your ability to communicate will directly affect the quality of your interpersonal relationships

The quality of your interpersonal relationships will directly affect your ability to get things done

Awareness of type of conflict provides you insight into managing the situation

It is easier to communicate if we understand others’ frames of reference

There is no perfect style

Know yours!

Thank You!

Jennifer Aldred Berry, Ph.D.

RESPRO Consultant

West 40 ISC #2

708.544-5890