Interpersonal Interpersonal Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

Receiving Verbal and Nonverbal Messages: Finetuning Your Reception

Today’s Menu

QuizActivities Discussion of Listening SkillsDiscussion of Nonverbal SkillsA3 -- Listening Exercise due next Tuesday

pick pairs

Intro. Exercise #1

NameFavorite Color

State your:

Perception Exercise

Perception Exercise

What do you see? Do you see what

others see? Do you hear what

others hear?

When is Listening Important?

Listening is Important in:

LifeBusinessMarketing

Is Listening Easy?

“We were given two ears but only one mouth... listening is twice as hard as talking.”

“The only easy listening is on the radio.”

Are you a good listener?

Research shows: Immediately after the

average person has listened to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what he has heard – no matter how carefully he thought he was listening

½½

Listening is a Skill

It can be learned It can be improved

CARESS Model

Concentrate Acknowledge Research Emotional Control Sense Nonverbals Structure

Concentrate

Focus attention on speakerEliminate distractions

physical & mentalMentally paraphrase what is being saidMaintain eye contact with speakerTake a deep breath before you interrupt

Acknowledge

Eye contactVerbal responsesAcknowledging gesturesAsk questions or restate point

to clarify your understanding

Research

Gain knowledge about topic ahead of time While listening gain further knowledge by

asking questions making clarifying statements

Use empathy statements to get people to open up

Exercising Emotional Control

Be aware of your biases & emotions Redirect your negative reactions

pause find common ground visualize calm

Sense the Nonverbal Message

Be aware of different nonverbal signals the speaker is sendingNervous?Confident?Bored?Irritated?

Get a baseline

Structure

Take written or mental notes of main ideas index or organize

Listen for order of priority - sequence Make comparisons

facts vs. opinions pros vs. cons consistency

Pro/Con Exercise

Complete handout individually Pair up with strangerDiscuss a mutually important

topic on which you have conflicting views

"When you speak, you can't listen. When you don't listen, you can't learn."

But Listening is Only Part...

Messages are received verbally and nonverbally -- some say that 90% of a message is received nonverbally

Verbal 10% Nonverbal 90%

message

Nonverbal Communication

Types of NonVerbal Behavior

KinesicsOcculesicsVocalicsProxemicsHapticsOlfactics

Gestures

Head movementHand and arm movement Signals

Posture

Sitting or standing?Slouched or erect? Crossed legs or arms? Leaning toward or away?

Facial Expression

Smiles FrownsFurrowed browClenched jaws

Eyes

Avoiding or maintaining eye contact?Raised eyebrows -- one or two? BlinkingStaring SquintingDilated pupils

Hands

Hand shakesOpen or clenched hands? Drumming fingersCracking knuckles

Voice

PitchSpeedVolumeClearing throat

Proximity

Are you close or far? Listening zones

Intimate = 0-2 ft. Personal = 2-4 ft. Social = 4-12 ft. Public = beyond 12 ft.

“Listening” to Nonverbals

Get a baselineRead gestures togetherDifferent cultural norms

Listening Assignment

Due TuesdayInstructions for Assignment 2

are on the Web Page

Pair up with someoneUse readings and CARESS model to reflect

upon your listening experienceDescribe specific ways that you worked to

improve your own listening

Resources

Courses Websites Books