1

Interpersonal Communication

2

Meeting People. Who am I?

• ‘I am not what I think I am.• I am not what you think I am.• I am what I think you think I am.’

• Greetings and Introductions.

3

Meeting someone new…• Formal vs Informal• Introducing yourself• Introducing others:

– Say the name of the person of authority or importance, higher ranking, older, new, client,woman FIRST

– Say each person’s name ONCE

– Add a little information

4

Your response?• Stand up

• Listen carefully for the name. Repeat the name to ensure you heard it and said it correctly.

• Smile, establish eye contact, move towards the person

5

Greeting someone you haven’t met before:

• How do you do?• How do you do?

• Pleased to meet you.• Pleased to meet you, too.

6

Tips on Introducing Others:

• 1. Mention the name of the person of authority or importance, regardless of gender, first.

• 2. You only have to say each person’s name once.

• 3. If you can, add some information about each person.

7

Do you know who to introduce first?

• Younger person to older person (use older person’s last & younger person’s first name)

• Peer in your firm to outsider• Non-official person to official person• Junior executive to senior executive• Company executive to customer or client• Man to woman 

8

What do you do when you are being introduced?

• Stand up.• Move toward the person, establish eye contact,

look pleasant or smile.• Greet the other person and repeat his/her name.

Mentioning the name has the advantage of reinforcing the person’s name in your memory and adding a touch of friendliness and to show that you are interested. Extend your hands for a handshake.

9

Stages in a Conversation

• Opening• Middle• Closing

10

Opening

• Self-introduction • Make a statement, or a statement

followed by a question. • Questions can be asked about the

other person, the situation, or current events.

• A pleasant self-disclosure • Offering help

11

True or False.

a) There are four stages in a conversation: opening, preamble, body and closing.

b) To start a conversation, you need to have an opening line or what is termed an “icebreaker”.

c) The best kind of icebreaker should be attention-grabbing e.g. “I’m a serial killer”.

d) To begin a conversation, we can start with a statement about a situation, weather, current news event or about the other person.

12

True or False.

• Appropriate self-disclosure means sharing biological data, personal ideas and information.

• To encourage conversation, we should ask only closed-ended questions.

• A good way of starting a conversation is to offer help.• It is quite safe to talk about topics like movies,

travel and books.• To be popular quickly, one should quickly

disclose as much personal details about yourself as possible.

13

Right Topics for Conversations

• Which topic is safe to start a conversation with? Which topic should one avoid?

• Check whether you are savvy when it comes to choosing the right topic to make small talk with.

14

Keeping a Conversation Going

• Questions to draw the other person out• Having something interesting to talk

about yourself• Be a good observer & listener

15

Ending a Conversation • It is important to end the conversation

warmly so that both parties feel good about the exchange that has taken place.

16

“Ladies and Gentlemen!”1. The person sitting next to

you on the airplane2. David Beckham queues

behind you at a food junction

3. Fiona Xie comes to your cousin’s BBQ

4. Your eye candy waiting at the bus-stop

5. The boss’s wife sits next to you at the dinner

…anything else you can think of?

17

Conversation Checklist

• Did I smile at appropriate times?• Was my smile genuine?• Was my body language open?• Was I careful not to cross my arms in a

defensive posture?• Did I move and lean toward people rather

than back away?• Was my voice enthusiastic?

18

Conversation Checklist

• Did I sound interested in others?• Did I look at people approximately 80% of

the time?• Did I avoid eye jumping (being shifty-eyed)

or staring?• Did I periodically nod or look as if I a• greed?

19

6 ways to improve your Conversational Skills:

• When new person joins conversation, draw him in by mentioning the subject of discussion/ i.e. include third person in the conversation.

•  Accept sincere compliments graciously with a “Thank you”.

• If someone asks you whether you like bowling, don’t just say “No”.

• When in the company of others, avoid speaking about a mutual friend or a private matter of which the third party has no knowledge.

• Avoid all slang and bad language.

• Be comfortable with some silence. No need to talk all the time.

20

Words and Phrases to

AVOID

21

Foul Language

Bodily imperfections

or dress sense

Racist statements,

references to class, religion,

disability

Jargon

Sexist Language

Pretentious language

Rudely disagreeing with others

Slang

22

Words and Phrases that Should Not Be Forgotten

23

“Right on, partner!”P’s & Q’s

Remember a previous conversation topic or event

“WOW! Alright!”

“Thought u’d NEVER ask!”

“I guess so”

Compliments

Decline politely

“When looking at faults, use a mirror, not a telescope”

24

Words and Phrases that Should Not Be Forgotten:

• Name of the person to whom you are speaking

• Statements of agreement

• Requests for advice or assistance

• Statements or questions that refer to a previous conversation or event

25

Expressing Politeness• To request someone to do something or

suggest to her or him to do something • To show the speaker’s involvement• To say ‘Yes’ politely• Saying ‘Yes’ to a request • Saying ‘Yes’ to an offer or invitation• To say ‘No’ politely• To give positive criticism

26

TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS

27

Making a callAnswering a call

Leaving messages

Bad connections

Taking messages

Picking up a second line

International calls

Nonverbal elements

Hanging up

28

Things you should note down when taking a message:

• Name of person caller is looking for• Name of caller• Contact number/s of caller• Date of call• Time of call• Brief message if any.

29

Leaving messages on an automated voice system

• Speak clearly and slowly• State clearly whom your message is for• State your name clearly• State your contact number/s• State your message clearly and briefly. Do not

leave long, complicated messages as the message may get cut off if time on the voicemail runs out.

• Any other important details

30

Non-verbal elements in Telephone Conversations

•  VOICE QUALITY• Friendly. Smiles can be communicated through your

voice even if the other person is not able to see you. Always be mindful of your facial expressions.

• TONE• Energetic, enthusiastic and even. • RATE. • VOLUME.• PITCH• High-pitched voices are unpleasant. Low-pitched voices

may come across muffled.

31

Activity

• Read the following situations. In groups of threes or fours, discuss

• a) what is wrong with the current situation

• b) and ways to improve the situation.

32

Activity

• You and Sally are having an intimate conversation about your old secondary schoolmates. Mei Ling, your new coursemate, joins you. After saying “hi” to her, you continue your conversation with Sally. After a while, Mei Ling walks away.

33

Activity• You have spent days finishing a detailed report

for your boss. Half an hour after you have submitted the report, your boss asks to see you. Before you even close the office door, your boss screams at you and tells you your report is the worst he has ever read and he cannot believe he hired you. Then he answers the phone and waves you away with an impatient wave of his hand.

34

Assignment 3: Individual Presentation To be done in Week 12 (4 July 2012)-30m

• Objectives: • 1. To reinforce a greater understanding and

awareness of useful aspects in interpersonal communication.

• 2. To develop students’ confidence in giving a presentation.

• 3. To foster enjoyment of communication skills through students’ creative exploration and conveying of ideas.

35

Description:

• 1. Prepare an individual 3-minute presentation on any one of the following topics:

• a. Words Hurt • b. Your Body Speaks • c. Listening with your Heart • d. The Art of Conversation • e. Politeness is more than “Please” and “Thank You”

• 2. You can use PowerPoint slides to help in your presentation.

36

Description:

• 3. Reinforce the key message in your presentation with a self-created original final product. You are given a maximum of 2 minutes to explain and present your final product. Your final product can be:

• (a) a video clip reflecting the theme of the chosen concept

• (b) poster(s) • (c) comic strip(s): can be drawn on paper or other media. • (d) song(s): can be sung in class or recorded and

presented in class. Lyrics must be shown. • Other ideas for final product? Discuss it with your tutor.

37

Description:

• 4. Convince your audience on the relevance and importance of the issue/ concept.

• 5. Besides course notes on “Communication Process” and “Interpersonal Communication”, include additional information from your own research. A bibliography of your sources of information is necessary. To make your presentation more meaningful and interesting, you should narrate a little story, give some examples or share some personal experiences.

38

Some important areas to note as you prepare for this assignment:

• a. Structure of Presentation: Is the presentation well planned and organised?

• b. Content of Presentation: Are there enough facts and research done?

• c. Delivery: Are you merely reading from script and PowerPoint slides with little eye contact with audience? Did you start and end your presentation in an interesting manner? Is your tone too monotonous?

• d. Visual Aids: Are your slides too cluttered with lengthy sentences?

• e. Final Product: Did you take time and effort to create it? Does it support your central message?