Inter-personal Inter-personal CommunicationCommunication

From From Crucial Crucial ConversationsConversations

State StandardState Standard

4.14.1

Understand conditions, actions, and Understand conditions, actions, and motivations that contribute to motivations that contribute to conflict orconflict or

to cooperation.to cooperation.

•Crucial ConversationCrucial Conversation: A : A discussion between two discussion between two people in which (1) stakes people in which (1) stakes are high (2) opinions vary are high (2) opinions vary (3) emotions run strong.(3) emotions run strong.

Video ClipsVideo Clips

Crucial Conversations OverviewCrucial Conversations Overview

TheSydneyPsychologist.comTheSydneyPsychologist.com

• When we face crucial When we face crucial conversations (CC), we do conversations (CC), we do one of three things:one of three things:

1.1. Avoid themAvoid them2.2. Face them and handle Face them and handle

them poorlythem poorly3.3. Face them and handle Face them and handle

them them well.well.

• Strong relationships Strong relationships draw from the same draw from the same power—the ability to power—the ability to talk openly about talk openly about emotional topics.emotional topics.

• Couples fall into one of Couples fall into one of three categories in dealing three categories in dealing with CC’s:with CC’s:

1.1.Those who use threats and Those who use threats and name-callingname-calling

2.2. Silent fumingSilent fuming3.3. Those who speak freely Those who speak freely

and and honestly.honestly.

• ““The longer answer suggests The longer answer suggests that the negative feelings we that the negative feelings we hold in, the emotional pain we hold in, the emotional pain we suffer, and the constant suffer, and the constant battering we endure as we battering we endure as we stumble our way through stumble our way through unhealthy conversations slowly unhealthy conversations slowly eat away at our health.”eat away at our health.”

• DialogueDialogue: The free flow of : The free flow of meaning between two or meaning between two or more people.more people.

• It is crucial to create safety It is crucial to create safety and a Pool of Shared and a Pool of Shared Meaning.Meaning.

• Acts of Verbal Violence Acts of Verbal Violence (Games)(Games)::

1.1. Subtle manipulationSubtle manipulation2.2. Verbal attacksVerbal attacks3.3. Discrediting othersDiscrediting others4.4. Biased monologuesBiased monologues5.5. SilenceSilence

Journal TopicJournal Topic

Think of a relationship Think of a relationship you would like to you would like to improve. How do you improve. How do you wish it would be?wish it would be?