Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this...

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Transcript of Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this...

Page 1: Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this time. Finally, finish your time together in prayer. Pray through your prayer requests

 

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Page 2: Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this time. Finally, finish your time together in prayer. Pray through your prayer requests

 

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Leigh  Ann  Dutton  Forever  By  Grace:  A  Guide  to  Intentional  Conversations  with  Your  Spouse  

a  FREE  ebook  IntentionalByGrace.com  

©  2014  All  rights  reserved.    

 

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 Table of Contents

Introduction 4

How to Use This Book 5

I Am Thankful For 6

Relationship Evaluation 7

Have a Little Fun 9

Moving Forward 10

Closing Thoughts 11

About the Author 12

Recommended Resources 13

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Introduction

Marriage is our greatest earthly blessing. God desires for our marriages to be representations of Him - Christ and His Church. A marriage like this takes work. Lots of it!

Susan Hunt says in her book, Your Home a Place of Grace:

Our notions about family are usually shaped more by culture than by Scripture, and we live in a culture of individualism, selfism, and materialism — all of which are hostile to cultivating an environment of grace in our homes.

This book was created to facilitate and encourage intentional conversations in our marriages. The following worksheets will help you determine ways in which you can grow not only as an individual, but also as a couple; thus strengthening your marriage and bringing glory to God.

As we surrender it all to Him, may we experience grace in our marriages and in our homes.

It’s  all  about  the  journey  and  what  you’re  willing  to  invest  in  to  make  the  marriage  work.  

~Intentional  By  Grace  Reader  

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How to Use This Book

Set aside a time, at least three to four times a year, to review these worksheets together. My husband and I try to schedule Intentional Conversations quarterly.

Use the worksheets and exercises in this book to guide you through engaging, purposeful, marriage building conversations. You will need to make double copies of pages 6-9: one for yourself and one for your spouse.

If your children aren’t already occupied, then get them set up with an activity, or wait for naptime (or better yet do this on a date night). You want at least an hour (or more) of uninterrupted time together.

Before you begin, pray together. Ask God to fill each of you with the Holy Spirit. Pray for Him to illuminate the sin in your hearts and point out evidences of grace in your marriage. Pray for a heart of humility, as well the ability to speak the truth in love. Pray that He would bond the two of you together and bring glory to His name.

Then, work through the following worksheets:

I Am Thankful For … Relationship Evaluation Part 1 & 2 Have a Little Fun

Afterward, fill out the Moving Forward worksheet together. This is a time to summarize what you’ve worked through, and agree on some action points. Be sure to set a date for your next intentional conversation during this time.

Finally, finish your time together in prayer. Pray through your prayer requests and thank God for the gift of marriage.

   

When  my  husband  and  I  take  time  to  talk  about  our  struggles,  temptations,  and  blessings,  we  feel  more  connected.  

~Intentional  By  Grace  Reader    

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I Am Thankful For …

Write in the lines below, at least ten things you are thankful for about your spouse. Then, share with your spouse each answer. Use this as a time to express gratitude and point out areas of God’s grace in each other’s lives.

For example, the husband starts with sharing his first answer. Then, the wife shares her first answer. Talk about why you are thankful for each thing; share examples for each answer.

1. _____________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________

6. _____________________________________________________________

7. _____________________________________________________________

8. _____________________________________________________________

9. _____________________________________________________________

10. _____________________________________________________________

I  do  not  cease  to  give  thanks  for  you,  remembering  you  in  my  prayers.  

Ephesians  1:16  (ESV)  

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Relationship Evaluation (Part 1)

Complete PPaarrtt 11 and PPaarrtt 22 of the RReellaatt iioonnsshhiipp EEvvaalluuaatt iioonn individually. Then, review answers together.

Our relationship at this time is __________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Our biggest source of conflict at this time is________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________  

_____________________________________________________________________________________  

It would help our relationship if I would ___________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Are you inviting intimacy; are you nurturing tenderness and passion? Explain.______

__________________________________________________________________

What are you doing to let your spouse know you prize him/her above all others? ___

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

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Relationship Evaluation (Part 2)

Please circle the number you feel best describes your relationship at this time in the following categories.

1 = needs significant improvement 3 = okay 5 = needs very little improvement

Seeking the Lord Together………………………………………………………1 2 3 4 5

Praying Together.………………………………………………………………...1 2 3 4 5

Praying for One Another………………………………………………………....1 2 3 4 5

Communication……………………………………………………………..……1 2 3 4 5

Priorities (God, Spouse, Children, etc.)…………………………………………1 2 3 4 5

Conflict Resolution………………………………………………..……………...1 2 3 4 5

Sexual Intimacy………………………………………...………………………....1 2 3 4 5

Emotional Intimacy……………………………….……………………………...1 2 3 4 5

Date Nights……………………………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5

Playing Together (i.e., Are you having fun?) …………………………………...1 2 3 4 5

Creating Memories as a Couple………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5

Creating Memories as a Family………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5

Helping Each Other with Children……………………………………………...1 2 3 4 5

Faithfulness to Encourage One Another………………………………………..1 2 3 4 5

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Have a Little Fun

Playing together as a couple is essential to a fun, lasting marriage. Additionally, to think that we know everything there is to know about our spouse is to starve ourselves of the mystery of marriage. No two days are the same! No two people are the same! There is still much to learn and discover about one another! So start playing and discover a thing or two about the person sitting next to you.

What are 3 things you can do start playing together more often?

1.__________________________________________________

2.__________________________________________________

3.__________________________________________________

Need help? Check out 42 Date Night Ideas for the Date Night Challenged.

List 5 things you wish you knew about your spouse.

1.__________________________________________________

2.__________________________________________________

3.__________________________________________________

4.__________________________________________________

5.__________________________________________________

Examples: What are your favorite books of all time? Why do you like skiing so much? Why do you drape your underwear across the hamper instead of putting it in? What is your favorite meal that I make? What is your biggest fear about the future?

It  seems  as  though  we’re  always  looking  at  each  other  and  saying,  “This  is  how  we  know  God  made  us  for  each  other.”  

~Intentional  By  Grace  Reader  

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Moving Forward

Take a moment to sum it all up together.

List 3 areas to work on.

1._________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

Share prayer requests.

1._________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

Set a date for your next intentional conversation.

__________ _______, _______ (month) (day) (year)

Every  couple  struggles  from  time  to  time.  God  is  faithful.  Trust  Him,  obey  Him  and  you  will  be  secure.  

~Intentional  By  Grace  Reader  

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Closing Thoughts

You made it! The first time is the hardest, especially if you aren’t accustomed to talking about these topics on a regular basis. Please, be encouraged. With time, it gets easier, and dare I say, much more fun!

My husband and I love working through these exercises together. We always learn so much, and we walk away filled with hope for our marriage. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t make it through each question, or you ended with more areas of conflict to resolve. Continue being faithful to pursue one another in love, and pray for God to heal any wounds. He is faithful, friends! We’ve only to ask Him.

We’ll close with the words from a loyal reader of Intentional By Grace …

The best is yet to come!

I'm  not  saying  that  I  have  this  all  together,  that  I  have  it  made.  But  I  am  well  on  my  way,  reaching  out  for  Christ,  who  has  so  wondrously  reached  out  for  me.  Friends,  don't  get  me  wrong:  By  no  means  do  I  count  myself  an  expert  in  all  of  this,  but  I've  got  my  eye  on  the  goal,  where  God  is  beckoning  

us  onward—to  Jesus.  I'm  off  and  running,  and  I'm  not  turning  back.    

Philippians  3:12-­‐14  (The  Message)  

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About the Author

Leigh Ann Dutton, owner and editor of Intentional By Grace, whose life goal is to create a home that makes it is impossible to not think about God, loves to blog about intentional living in order to make this goal a reality.

She is the wife to the man of her prayers, Mark, and mama to two loveable little boys, Samuel and Timothy. She takes joy in spending her days creating memorable moments with her husband, conducting kitchen experiments, researching every natural alternative known to man, and making her little boys laugh. She does it all by the grace of God.

Intentional By Grace was launched in April of 2011 as an outflow of her passion to share the gospel and inspire other women to steward all that the Lord has richly blessed them with.

   

 

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Resources

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Are you faithful to pray daily for your marriage?

Intentional, scripture-led prayer does not come easily to me. But I believe the habit at the heart of every marriage is prayer.

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