Language Arts for the Lizard Brain: Vocabulary Design for the Predictably Irrational
Inspiring the Lizard Brain
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Inspiring the Lizard Brain: Why personal development gurus are keeping you
stuck in procrastination and how to finally break free
Why is it that we tend to be so efficient with deadlines at work (no matter how
hard, boring or scary they may be) but when it comes to personal goals and
implementing any kind of change in our lives we tend to get a bit more …
(lazy? ahem)… laid-back?
“Everyone can come up with ideas – creating is easy. Doing is what we have problems with” (Seth Godin)
So what is the lizard brain? According to Seth the lizard brain is a tiny part in our
brain called amygdala which is responsible for fear, anger and negativity. It
empowers us in fight or flight situations, senses danger, assesses risks etc.
However, it can also breed procrastination, perfection, obsession with detail and
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can easily stop us doing new things. You see, that part of the brain likes staying in
the 'known' and 'familiar'. So every time we decide to pursue new ideas, goals
and ambitions, the lizard brain freaks out!
There is a pretty well-known saying in personal development field (which I love
by the way!): ‘If the WHY is big enough the HOW will come’ and that burning
WHY should serve you as your biggest motivator to not only start things but also
finish them. I do believe that the best solutions come when you are inspired and
resourceful and that you should pursue goals even if you have no idea HOW to
accomplish them. However, that burning desire and passion doesn't always helps
you finish things. That's why there are millions of people out there with fantastic
ideas and goals that would propel their lives to the next level, but guess what,
they freeze as soon as that inspiration expires.
Now being an absolute lover of personal development and a coach for quite a
few years I now know that getting inspired is just not enough!
Have you ever been in that situation where you get really fired up and excited
about a new goal and think to yourself 'this is it, this time it's going to happen' and
yet one week down the line you are exactly where you were before…only this
time with a huge feeling of disappointment in yourself followed by a hint of
sadness and even resentment or anger….the bigger the desire the bigger the pain,
yet the pain of staying the same can be smaller than the pain of changing and
dipping into a risky unknown.
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Would you like to be in the small 10% of the population who manage to get
things done, turn their passions into profits, have a fulfilling life and never ever
feel helpless again?
Alright then, let's get going! To understand how to calm your lizard brain, let
me bust 5 myths that the personal development field preaches, even though all
the research out there suggests that they are not true. After the myth-busting
session I will guide you through the workbook to help you overcome everything
that's been holding you back.
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5 myths you need to know before engaging in any goal setting:
Visualisation
Visualisations have been popular and preached by many personal development
gurus to help you overcome instant gratification and boost your motivation. They
usually put some epic music in the background and ask you to visualise what it
would be like when you get there, how you will feel when you achieve your goal
etc. It is an excellent way to elicit the state of happiness and wellbeing. However,
according to the research, it won't help you achieve your goals.
Lien Pham and Shelley Taylor at the University of California conducted a study
asking a group of students to visualise themselves achieving a high grade in their
next exam. They were asked to spend some time every day forming a clear
picture in their mind's eye and fantasising about how good it would feel if that
came true. Surprisingly, the group scored much lower than the rest of students.
What’s even more interesting is that due to visualisations students actually spent
less time preparing for exams! The same results happened in the weight-loss,
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attracting partners and career management studies (Prof. Richard Wiseman)
But not to worry! Just a small change to your visualisation can increase your
chances significantly of getting things done - visualise yourself in action!
Dr. Pascual Leone, Professor of Neurology at Harvard Medical School ran a
research where he had 3 control groups: one group was watching other people
practicing playing simple 5-finger piano exercises, one that visualised playing
and mentally rehearsing the same exercises, and last one that actually practiced
playing piano exercises. Afterwards, all 3 groups were asked to perform the
exercises. Dr. Leone scanned their brain activity throughout the experiment. The
results are in the table below:
Piano Experiment
Mental Practice
Physical Practice
Control Group
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5
The brain scans showed that imagining playing a 5-finger piano exercise (mental
practice) resulted in almost as high brain activity as physically performing. It
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also resulted in significant improvement in performance afterwards over no
mental practice group.
The research shows that when people planned the practical steps and visualised
themselves taking the steps towards achieving the goal, they were more likely to
succeed.
The Lizard’s Learning: the picture of the perfect outcome can increase the sense
of euphoria and reduce your power to take action. Concentrate on the process and
not the outcome!
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Sharing your goals with everyone
Another great myth that is well sold in the field is - if you want to achieve your
goal, share it with everyone. The research actually shows that once you share
your goals with everyone around you, your excitement and pride goes up,
however, your motivation starts going down. Why? Because you actually
already experienced the glory of what it would feel like for it to happen and had
your feel-good fix which makes taking action much harder (that is if your friends
actually support your ideas. If they don't, the effect can be even more dramatic!)
The reason behind the idea to share your goals with everyone was to increase
your commitment. But I would challenge that assumption. Just think about it,
what happens when you talk about your plans with your friends but actually don't
get to action them? NOTHING! Now imagine if you meet the potential employer
and he/she asks you to send an updated CV. You would work on it until late to
make sure it's in their inbox by 9am tomorrow morning. Imagine you meet a
potential business partner and you share ideas about the project you have been
thinking about and he/she asks you to send it to them when the project is done,
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how motivating would that be for you?
The Lizard’s Learning: don't share your ideas with everyone! Be very smart and
selective about it and choose people with high influence. Ideally, commit to a
selected few individuals and, even better, your coach who can motivate, help and
guide you in achieving your goal. Only when you achieve your goal - go public
with it and celebrate your success (woohoo!)
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Focusing on the negative
It is true that if you focus on the negative it can kill all the excitement and create
a million barriers. The popular notion out there is to focus on the positive, be
optimistic and cultivate the belief that you will get there no matter if you are a
believer in the Law of Attraction or not! If thinking positively is the key to
beating procrastination, millions of personal development lovers and self-help
addicts would have been happy bunnies by now. Yet they continue spending
thousands of pounds going on courses hoping that this time their lives will be
changed.
On the contrary, the research suggests that you are more likely to succeed if you
hold both beliefs at the same time - positive and realistic. Let your inspiration
take you over but also be aware of the possible problems you might face on your
journey. Know yourself, plan your setbacks and still take massive action. This
will play a huge role in whether you are going to get there or not. The key here is
to make sure that your planned setbacks won't become another excuse for not
getting things done!
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The Lizard’s Learning: be positive but do not be afraid to think any problems
through. In fact, welcome them and you will be even more mentally ready to blast
them through.
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Planning is only for logical left-brainer
I have heard so many times people saying (including myself) 'but I hate to do lists,
they don't work for me, it suppresses my creativity etc'. First of all, by writing
your ideas and goals down you are already making your brain commit to it and
therefore increase your chances of achieving it. Also, it will help you visualise
the steps and any setbacks that you already know will influence your behavior
towards success.
If a thought of a standard to do list makes your skin crawl, consider
mind-mapping it. A mind-map represents words, ideas, tasks and concepts
linked to a central key word or idea. It helps to generate, visualize and organize
ideas, solve problems and make decisions. And most of all, its so much more fun!
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It looks something like this:
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Support is only for sissies
Some people (no generalisations, but especially men!) think that getting an
external support is a sign of weakness. And guess what, it is more likely that they
are the ones who will struggle the most!
If you have been sitting on some ideas for a while, have been craving a change in
your life or have ambitions that freeze you every time you think about them, DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
Here is how coaching support can help you:
• A higher level of self-awareness: 67.6%
• Smarter goal-setting: 62.4%
• A more balanced life: 60.5%
• Lower stress levels: 57.1%
• Self-discovery: 52.9%
• More self-confidence: 52.4%
• Improvement in quality of life: 43.3%
• Project completion: 35.7%
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• Increased energy: 31.9%
• More income: 25.7%
• Stopped a bad habit: 25.7%
• Started new business: 12.9%
When asked the value of the coaching investment, 98.5% of coaching clients said
their investment in a coach was well worth the money. Imagine being able to put
all those fantastic ambitions, creative ideas and curious explorations in action,
how would this influence your life? How much is that worth for you?
Coaching is not a magic pill, most of the time it's actually hard work - digging
deep to the root of all the problems, breaking through barriers, facing setbacks,
being honest with yourself, continuously putting the work in to fulfill the
commitment.
Getting away from your routine to have the 'me' time to think things through and
to re-discover your passions is priceless! The coach will guide you and support
you throughout the coaching relationship as well as challenge you to free you
from your frantic lizard brain.
The Lizard’s Learning: the greatest guru’s, creative and successful business
people pay thousands to their coaches, mentors, consultants to get the support
they need. Support is essential if you want to succeed and especially break free
from your fear and procrastination.
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Your Workbook
“What you actually do within 24 hours of having a creative idea will spell the difference between success and failure” (B. Fuller)
So how can you calm the lizard brain down and make the inspiration go an
extra mile to make sure that you not only start but also finish the projects/goals
you are so passionate about?
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Values
If I ask you to tell me your 3 main values right now, would you know them? It is
absolutely crucial to know yourself well if you want to succeed and especially if
you want to avoid mistakes and disappointments.
What makes them so important? Values serve us as a compass when it comes to
making decisions. They have a huge unconscious influence on your choices and
Values
Vision
Expression Plan of Play
GO! Go! GO!
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of course your motivation. Imagine money is one of your values but not as
significant as making a difference in the world. Imagine you are introduced to a
simple online marketing product that can generate you some cash. You jump to
this opportunity and guess what…a couple of weeks down the line you are bored,
unexcited and even that extra cash can't motivate you enough to continue. Why?
Because you are not fulfilling your top values. Unless your extra cash comes in
through making a difference and genuinely helping other people your motivation
will drop down to zero in no time.
It’s crucial that you are very clear if the goal you are planning to pursue truly
resonates with you. Instead of jumping in to a new project/idea/goal run it
through your values to see if the goal would be fulfilling your top values first and
then check in with yourself what other benefits would follow.
Here is the simple exercise to help you identify your top values - please allow
yourself the time and space to really think this activity through, as this will be
invaluable for you in the future:
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5) Taking everything you have written into consideration (no cheating!), circle all
the values that resonate with you from the table below (feel free to add your own
values to the list):
1) List 10 events in your life when you felt most fulfilled and happy…
2) List 10 role models (family, friends, TV and book characters, stars and
celebrities, artists and guru's etc). What is it about them that inspires you?
3) If people around had to describe you in 1 (or a couple) of words, what
would they say about you? Feel free to do an actual experiment…
4) List all the things that you enjoy doing most that put you in a complete
state of flow (you lose a sense of time and forget about all those chocolate treats
in the cupboard!)
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Humour
Nurturing Comradeship
Success
Participation
Accuracy Romance
Being loved
Honesty
Joy Lightness
Fairness
Performance
Adventure Recognition
Being active
Partnership
Beauty Spirituality
Experience new things
Collaboration
Authenticity Harmony
Safety
Productivity
Zest Empowerment
Security
Community
Risk Taking Accomplishment Excitement
Service
Tradition Self-Expression
Change
Personal Power
Peace Orderliness
Curiosity
Contribution
Respect Integrity
Learning
Freedom of
choice
Elegance Creativity
Personal growth
Excellence
Growth Independence
Kindness
Connectedness
Vitality Acknowledgment
Trust
Free Spirit
Aesthetics Focus
Fame
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6) Choose your top 10 values…
7) Choose your top 3 values…
8) Choose your top value…
9) In what ways do you fulfill your values?
10) In what ways you do not fulfill your values?
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Vision
`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' said Alice `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat `I don't much care where--' said Alice `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat
Your vision is your chosen path in life. Your directions might change depending
on the different phases of life but your true purpose and calling will always guide
you through your path - it's like a plane constantly needing to re-adjust its
direction to make sure it is on the right course.
So does your vision at the moment look something like this?
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Or this?
Which one do you think would help you more in getting there you want to be?
Getting that crystal clear clarity on your true self, your desires and your vision
will get you unstuck in powerful ways that you don't have another choice but to
take that action!
Allow yourself some quiet quality time where no 'shoulds', 'woulds' and 'musts'
exist, take a sheet of paper and immerse yourself fully into writing about ….
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YOUR PERFECT DAY:
1) What does your Perfect Day look like?
2) If you didn't have to work for money what job would you be doing?
3) Describe your surroundings...
4) Let me know what are you up to for the day in great detail...
5) Listen and write down the things that people are talking about you…
6) Describe how do you feel...
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From creating this mental picture you can see what kind of person you would like
to be, the work you would like to do and pinpoint activities that give you joyous
energy.
Now having had a glimpse into your perfect life, take some time to design an
appealing vision statement that is bold and inspiring (scary & exciting!). I would
advise to include your key values and dreams that you would like to achieve and
the person you would like to become by the time you finish your journey on
earth.
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Expression
Now get creative, dirty and even silly - put your vision into a great visual to
condition your brain and serve you as an inspiring reminder to take that dedicated
action. Draw it, paint it, collage it, write it in bold colours, ANYTHING you
like, knock yourself out! The process will not only give you a healthy release of
positive energy but will also strengthen an inner mental image of your personal
vision.
Keep it in the private but noticeable area in your house so that you see it
everyday.
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Plan of
“Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.” (W. Rogers)
By this stage of reading my e-book, you should have an increased
self-awareness through getting to know your values and much more clarity
through your vision and expression process. SO WHAT are you going to DO
about it?
I do believe in the Law of Attraction. But I am even a bigger believer in the Law
of Perspiration! The boldest breakthroughs in history happened because some
crazy nutter decided to do some experimenting!
“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere” (A. Einstein) Einstein was very bold to come up with genius ideas, but he spent a lifetime
fulfilling his curiosity by taking consistent actions. Remember, there are many
people with ideas out there and the only way to be ahead of the game is to
actually put things in practice. If you already found a compelling purpose and an
inspiring goal you might be sitting all jazzed up but let's not forget that your
results will manifest when your attention meets your intention.
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Author Zig Ziglar once joked that people don't suddenly find themselves on the
top of the Everest just by wandering around.
Its time to devise a Plan of Play! As mentioned before make your goals scary &
exciting as this will keep you motivation going, however, chunk your goals down
and carefully think your steps through. Your lizard brain will less likely jump into
the panic mode if your steps are manageable, achievable and realistic.
According to Prof R. Wiseman there are 4 key elements that can increase your
chances to succeed:
- Having the right kind of plan
- Creating a supporting environment by sharing your goals with the right people
- Focusing on the benefits of the goal (positive attitude and realistic plan)
- Rewarding yourself and celebrating each step of the way
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What is your dream?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
What will achieving this dream give me?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
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My Step 1
Step 1 is:
To achieve this I will:
No matter what may come it will be done by:
Possible setbacks:
I will overcome them by/with:
I will celebrate this by:
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My Step 2
You get the drill - continue planning further with as many steps as it is necessary
for you to make this dream happen!
Step 2 is:
To achieve this I will:
No matter what may come it will be done by:
Possible setbacks:
I will overcome them by/with:
I will celebrate this by:
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If your dream is scary and exciting you are bound to get some resistance and
fear coming into the surface no matter how comfortable and realistic your steps
may be!
Here are a couple of tips on how to deal with it and move forward:
The Heckler
The heckler is the critical voice inside your head. We all have that voice and it is
actually just one of many! Here are a couple of suggestions to tackle it:
Keith Ryan, a meditation instructor for 20 years, suggests to let the thoughts
flow, accept them but don't dwell on them. If you had a negative thought run
through your mind there is no need to start fighting, blocking or replacing with
positive ones. Just let them pass realising that most of them are just habitual
thoughts that actually don't really have any meaning…
Nick Bolton, founder of the Smart School of Coaching (the best action person I
have ever met! Without his support and inspiration this e-book would have never
happened) says simply 'Limiting beliefs? Just ignore them!’ His advice is to
make a decision and go for it without any hesitation. If any doubts start surfacing,
just let them be and do it anyway. We are more than our limitations!
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We watched a hilarious video on one of my NLP seminar that sums it all up -
check it out:
Mervyn D'Souza, ACT Therapist, encourages to stop controlling your emotions
and start enjoying riding the wave of fear - learn to live with it creatively and
even use it as your motivator and drive.
The story below has the same empowering message:
Demons on the Boat
Imagine you're steering a ship far out at sea. Below the deck, out of sight, lies a
vast horde of demons, all with enormous claws and razor-sharp teeth. And they've
made a deal with you: as long as you keep the ship drifting aimlessly out at sea,
they'll stay beneath the deck, so you don't have to look at them. But if you ever
start heading towards the shore, they immediately rush up on the deck, flap their
wings, bare their fangs, and threaten to tear you to shreds. Not surprisingly, you
don't like that very much, so you say: "Sorry demons! I didn't mean it! Please, go
back down below". And you turn the ship around and drift back out to sea, and the
demons disappear beneath the deck. So you breathe a sigh of relief, and
'STOP IT'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw&feature=related
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everything seems okay - for a while.
The problem is, you soon get fed up of drifting aimlessly. You get bored, lonely,
miserable, resentful, and anxious. You see all those other ships heading towards
the shore, and you know that's where you really want to be going. So one day, you
pluck up courage, turn the tiller, and head toward the shore once again. But the
moment you do, those demons swarm up onto the deck and threaten to rip you into
pieces again.
But here's the interesting thing: although these demons are very good at
threatening you, they never actually cause you physical harm. Why not? Because
they can't! All they can do is growl loudly, wave their claws, and look terrifying -
physically they can't even touch you. The only power they have is the ability to
intimidate. So if you believe they're really going to do what they say they'll do,
then they've got control of the boat. But once you realise they have no capacity to
physically harm you - then you're free. You can take your ship wherever you want -
as long as you're willing to accept the demons' presence. All you have to do to
reach land is let the demons gather round, let them scream at you all they like, and
keep steering the ship toward the shore. The demons may howl and protest, but
they're powerless to stop you.
However, if you're not willing to allow these demons on board, if you've got to
keep them down below no matter what, then your only option is to stay adrift at
sea. (Of course, you can try to throw the demons overboard, but while you're busy
doing that no one is steering the ship, so you run the risk of crashing into rocks
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and capsizing. Besides which, it's a struggle you could never win, because there's
an infinite number of those demons on the hold.)
"But that's horrible!" you may well protest. "I don't want to live surrounded by
demons!" Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you already are: they're
called thoughts, feelings, memories, urges, and sensations. And those demons will
keep showing up again and again, as soon as you start to take you rife in a valued
direction. Why so? Again, it all stems back to evolution. Remember, the mind of
our ancestors had one overriding imperative: "Don't get killed!" And an important
factor in not getting yourself killed is to get to know your environment. The better
you know the terrain and the local wildlife then, obviously, the safer you are,
whereas venturing into unknown territory exposes you to all sorts of exotic
dangers. So if one of out ancestors decided to explore a new area, his mind would
go into a state of red alert. "Look out!", "Be careful!", "Could be a crocodile in
that lake!" And thanks to evolution, our modern minds to the same, only far more
extensively.
Thus, as soon as we start to do something new, our mind will start warning us:
"You might fail", "You might make a mistake", "You might get rejected". It warns
us with negative thoughts, disturbing images, bad memories, and a wide range of
uncomfortable feelings and sensations. And all too often we let these warnings
stop us from taking our lives in the direction we really want. Rather than sail for
shore, we drift at sea. Some people call this "staying in your comfort zone" but
that's not a good name for it because the comfort zone is definitely not comfortable.
It should be called the "misery zone" or the "missing-out-on-life zone"
(by Russ Harris)
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Your Cheerleading Squad
Do you have a couple of special people that can cheer you up and support you
even if you call them in the middle of the night?
And I am not talking about your friends that might have a bit of the competition
going on or colleagues that could get jealous of your success etc. I am talking
about people who genuinely believe in your potential and would get out of their
way to help you get there. Whenever you feel like losing a battle with your doubts,
call them to get that external push and surge of positive energy. It’s priceless!
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My Top Tip to make you finish things fast!
John Williams, author of Screw Work, Let’s Play, said when reflecting on
everything he has achieved in life that he had achieved them because he started
something that he was interested in and finished it because he had an external
deadline. Carrot and stick might work well for some but it’s still not a perfect
solution. What about a sticky carrot? Sticky carrot is actually taking the leap.
How soon you would make your goal a reality if I promise to reward you with a
£1,000,000?!
Sticky carrot is scary and exciting and it’s not for the faint-hearted! It's a carrot if
you achieve it and it becomes a massive stick if you don't. You can create a sticky
carrot by putting yourself into a situation where if you don’t
finish/deliver/achieve the goal, it will carry some heavy consequences. For
example, if you would like to start a business, you plan how long it would take
for you to get started and hand in your notice. Knowing that you will be jobless
by that date unless you start a business will give you a huge motivation – its very
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scary, but also crazy exciting! Would like to build confidence speaking in public?
Volunteer for a speaking engagement for charity so you know that you have to
plan and deliver on that date. Would like to lose weight? Start a meet-up group -
help yourself through helping others.
Be creative with your sticky carrot to create that sense of urgency and give you a
shot of adrenaline! Bonkers, I know, but it works!
Anthony Robbins always talks about your success is 10% strategy and 90%
mindset. Investing in yourself to sharpen both, your mindset and your strategy, is
probably the best investment you can possible make. How much your
procrastination and fear is costing you in life? Getting that crystal clarity on
your life's vision through self-discovery is a very empowering and joyous process
and I wish you all the best on that journeyJ
'There are no rules or formulas for success. You just have to live it and do it. Knowing this gives us enormous freedom to experiment toward what we want. Believe me, it's a crazy, complicated journey. It's a trial and error. It's opportunism. It's quite literally, 'Let's try lots of stuff and see how it works.' (Dame A. Roddick, founder of The Body Shop)
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If you feel a bit stuck and uninspired, unclear or limited at the moments, visit my
website where you can find fun and creative ways of moving forward in your life:
www.purpleinspiration.com