IMPORTANT POINT: GOALS
Transcript of IMPORTANT POINT: GOALS
5/14/17
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Marsha Shandur
YesYesMarsha.com
Yes Yes Marsha
© Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5
Howtoremembernames,andotherfactsaboutnewpeople
1. Askthem,“Sorry,whatwasyourname,again?”
2. Createastrongvisualimage:(a)WhodoIknowwiththesamename?(b)Whatelsedoestheirnamesoundlike?
3.Askavacuousquestion,like:- howdidyougethere?- howdoyouknowX?
4. Usetheirnameatleastonce
5. Revise
©Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5
Whythisisgreat
1. Itmakesyoulook(andfeel)likeawinner
1. Itmakesfurther contact easier(becauseyouremember who yousaidtowhom)
3.It’s charm bySTEALTH
©Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5
Networkingisjust:
Talkingtopeoplethatyoulikeaboutthingsyou’rebothinterestedin
• Actuallytalk topeopleotherthan yourmates
• Followupoveremail
• Addvalue– longbeforeyouask foranything
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
IMPORTANTPOINT:
Networking isaLongTermRelationship…
…nota onenightstand©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
GOALSWhyare youat thisevent?
General networking? Or specificpeople?
Have aconversation that lastsat least threesentences each, withat least three people
Also: ifby9pm I’mnothaving fun, I’mallowed togo
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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Everyone isscared.
“Brave”people aretoo.
Theonlydifferencebetweenyouandthem is….“brave”people justsuckitup.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
MagicSentence tohelpyouwhenyou’renervous
atanevent:Nooneisthinkingaboutme.
Everyone’s thinkingabout themselves,justlikeIamrightnow
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
FightorFlight• When you’renervous, yourbody thinksa sabretooth tiger ischarging towards you
(itdoesn’t knowthedifference betweenyourcurrent situationand the tiger one)
• Itpumpsthe bloodaway fromyourbrain, andintoyour limbs, soyoucan fight itor runaway
• Tocombat this,putyourhandonyourheart andtake fivedeep breaths. Or– seenext slide!
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
AMYCUDDYTEDTALK
• Yourbody language canchangeyourbrainchemistry• Spend twominutes in apower pose(armsintheair;hands onhips andshoulders square;oranything that makesyouphysically BIG)• Fakeituntil youBECOMEit!
Trickstomakemeetingpeopleeasier
1. Getthereearly
2. AnyQUEUEisyourfriend- pass aplate
3. Benearthefood/coffeetable
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
SMILE•Makesyoumorerelaxed
•Makesyoumoreapproachable
•MakesyouHAPPIER!©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
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Whyeyecontact isimportant
• Shows you’re open tochatting
• Makes people feelAMAZING
• Keeps you focused©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
Whenyou’reatanetworkingevent/conference/somewhereyou’reEXPECTEDtomeetyounewpeople,THISisanokopeningsentence:
Hi,I’m[name]
What’syourname?©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
Another good opener:
Givesomeoneacompliment
onsomething they’re wearing, oraquestiontheyaskedoraspeech theygave.
Compliment isNOTembarrassment!
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
RESEARCH• Speakers
• Otherattendees
(5mins perperson;30minutes =6people)
• Venue
• Local area(facts,good bars/restaurants)
• Moreideas?©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
WHOMTOAPPROACHAskyourself: “Do theyhavetodramaticallychange theirphysicalityinorder toincludeme?”
Ifnot – goahead!
Remember – sometimes peoplewillgathertogetherforsafetyinnumbers!
To joinagroup: Startwitheyecontactandlistening, thenaskquestions, then youcan offer youropinion
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
SELLINGYOURSELFDon’tdoit!
Don’tjusttalkabouthowgreatyouare– instead,maketheconversationaboutTHEM
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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QUESTIONS• Great conversation starters
• Mean youdon’thave todomuch talking
• Make people feelamazing
• Giveyou factsabout someone,
whichcanhelpyou introduce them toothers
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howtoaskquestions…andhownot to
• Listen totheanswer!
• Askopen-ended questions (vs yes/no)
• Askagoodfollow upquestionGood =leadstoapositive response
Eg – “Whatdoyoulikemostaboutit?”
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howtoaskquestions…andhownot to
• Rather than “Why”try“How” or“What”
e.g.“Whydidyouleaveyourprevious job?”
è “Howdid youendup workinginthis field?”
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howtoanswer,“Whatdoyoudo?”Questionstoaskyourself
(1) Whatisyourgoalwhenansweringthis?
(2) Sometimes,it’soktobendthetruth
(3) WhatdoyouDO?
(4) Whatproblemdoyousolve?
“Ihelp[demographic] [achievegoal]by[howyouhelpthem
dothis]”
(5)WHYdoyoudowhatyoudo?
(6) STORY(realortheoretical)©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
Marsha’s Favourite Question:
“How’s yourweekbeen?”
“Whatwasonething youenjoyed?”
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
• Youcanusuallygetaprettygoodideaofwhatsomeone does– without havingtoask,
“Whatdoyoudo?”
• Peoplecananswerwithasmuchorlittledepthas theylike
• Creates asense ofINTIMACY
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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• Itgetspeopletalkingaboutsomethingthey’rePASSIONATEabout
è makesthemfeelgreat(èmakesthemfeelgreat
aboutyou)
èMOREFUNFORYOU
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
• Morelikelytolandoncommontouchpoints
• YoucangatherinformationtoADDVALUE
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howtogetoutofanawkwardconversation
YesYesMarsha.com/awkward
• Lookthemsquare intheeyes,smilewarmly, andsay,
“Itwaslovely tomeetyou”
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Thecornerstoneof greatnetworking:
THE “NICE TOMEET YOU” EMAIL
Longterm relationship, NOTaonenightstand!
MeansyouDON’T havetobuild theentirerelationship inthefirstmeeting.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BASIC“NicetoMeetYou”templateDear [name],
Itwaslovelytomeetyouat[event].[Referencetoconversation.Ifnone,reference totheevent].
[ADDVALUE ifyoufeelmovedto]
Hopeyouhadagreattimefortherestofthe[event/weekend/day],
[Yourname][Youremailaddress][Yourphonenumber][Yourwebsite/LinkedInpage– Ifyouhaveone]
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
Dear[name],
Itwaslovelytomeetyouat[event].[Referencetoconversation. Ifnone, reference tothe event].Putyourself incontext.MakeiteasyforTHEM.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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BreakingItDown:
[ADDVALUEifyoufeelmovedto]
Ifyoudo,tells them:- Iamahelpful person- Iamareliable person- Iaminthe knowPLUS- makesthemfeelmovedtoreciprocate
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
[ADDVALUEifyoufeelmovedto]
Waystoaddvalue:• Thankthemforsomething• Sendthemanarticle they’ll findinteresting• Offeranintro tosomeone (NEVER unsolicited)
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
Hope youhadagreattime attherest oftheconference,
Endtheemail onapositive note.ThisisSMILINGthrough youremail.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
[Your name][Your emailaddress][Your phone number][Your website/LinkedIn page
- IFIT’SUPTODATE]
- MakeitEASYforthemtocontact you©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
SUBJECTLINES
Subject:[factualrelevance]/[mystery]
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
FACTUALRELEVANCE
• The event youmetthemat
• The person youhave incommon
• The thingyou’reemailing themto
praise/add valuearound
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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MYSTERY
Anything thatwill compel them toopen theemail
- as longasit’s loosely tied to theemail content.
• Reference toyourconversation with them• Reference tothe mutual friend• Howthe thingyou’re praising themonmade youfeel
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
“EVERYBODYloves
• alittlefun• alittlecuriosity• alittlesuspense
Thosearehumantriggers thatwehaveinourminds.
Mostofusleadprettymundanelivesandwehavealittlestressfromtimetotime. Soifanythingcomesinthat'sremotelybrightordifferentorinteresting…
…We Pay Attention!
Remember:allpeoplearePEOPLE!”
- MarieForleo,www.marieforleo.com©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
SUBJECTLINES
Subject: [factual relevance]/[mystery]
Examples:
NetworkingWorkshop/Curtains
Anna’scolleague/floatingonabedofjoy
Star article/yougavemeawholenewattitudetopublicgardendesign
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howtofindemailaddresses,withouttheirbusinesscard
• Checktwitter, facebook,LinkedIn bio’s(ifpublic)
• [email protected]; [email protected]
• Calltheir workplace’s reception andask
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Keepyourselfintheirmind.
“It’s notwhat youknow, it’s who youknow”
RATHER
“It’s notwho youknow, it’s whohasyournameinthefront oftheir brain atanyonetime”
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Howdoyoudothis?• Ifit’s someone important, put regular(every1-2months)
reminders toemail themin yourdiary.
• When thetime comes, find awaytoADDVALUEtothem.
• Eg anarticle;praise – anyofthewayswe’vediscussed.
• Doitasa“replyall”tothe firstemailyousent – orasareplytothelastemailtheysentyou – thenchange thesubject linetobe relevanttothisnewemail.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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Howwouldthatlook?HiJohn,
Isawthearticleyoupostedonsuchandsuchwebsite.com.Reallylovedyourtakeonthelatestbudget.I’mgoingtostartkeepingaclosereyeonmyrent!
[youcould addanupdatehere– “sincewelastspoke,I/mydepartmenthasbeen…”].
Hopeyou’rewell,
Andy
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Maybe they’ll respond, maybe they won’t.
Ifyouhaven’t asked foranything, youdon’tneed aresponse – you’re justreminding them ofyourexistence.
Then, when youDOwant toask themforsomething, youwill be
(a) memorable(b) seenas someone whohasalready added value
tothem
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Non-emailMethodsofAddingValueSocial Network sites:
Like. Comment. Share. ENGAGE.• Facebook – ifhavepublicpage,orcompanypage,orpublic
posts.
• LinkedIn – nowworksthesameasFacebookintermsofthesethings.
PLUSyoucanaddpeople youbarely/don’t know onLinkedIn, andnoonethinks it’s creepy.
• Twitter.Don’tpress“Retweet”buttonRetype,andADDVALUE.Ideallytothem.
• Periscope. Share,comment,heart.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BLOGS(including podcasts)
Whensomeone comments onyourblog, it feelslikearayofsunshine justentered yourheart.
Bespecific- notjust“greatblog!”(thoughthat’sbetterthannothing)
©Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5
GettingCupsOfCoffeeWithPeople• You might learn something
• They can have agutreaction toyou
• They’ll remember you better
• They’ll likeyoumore (Festinger,1950)
• They need to justifywhythey spent this 20minutes oftheir precious timewith you
è more likelyto beinspired to help you
• People LIKE to help other people!©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
Coffee/SkypeEmailDear [name],
Itwas lovely tomeet youat [event]. [Reference toconversation. Ifnone, reference totheevent].
Youcanalsousethis template forcontacting peopleyouhaven’t metbefore. Include:
• whosuggested youemail them• what itisyou’re writing tothem about
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
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BreakingItDown:
[ADDVALUE,ideallyhavingresearched themsomemore]
You’re askingforsomething fromthem-sogoaboveandbeyond
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
Do you have20minutes free sometime in thenext fewweeks,- Why 20? Shortbut realistic!when I could buy youacoffee- ALWAYSoffer topayand askyou about [specific topic orquestion]?- NEVER say “pick your brains”- Specific question: gives them the chance todowngrade
toaphone call,or even email response.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
Iappreciate that you’reabusyperson, soI’llgladlymeetwhenandwhere ismostconvenientforyou.Respectful without beingoverlyapologetic.Willmakeyoustandout.
How’s Thursdayafter6orFridaybefore12?Wide/Narrow technique
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
BreakingItDown:
Ifyouhavetwomins tohit replyandletmeknow, thatwould befantastic.
Allthebest,
See:yesyesmarsha.com/mindcontrol
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Ifnoresponse - nudgingemails• Re-iterate: ifsendingasecondemail:
doitasa“replyall”tothefirstemailyousent– orasareplytothelastemailtheysentyou– thenchangethesubjectlinetoberelevanttothis newemail.
• Ifyougetnoresponse– youcanproduptoFIVEtimes.– BUTnomore often thanevery10-14days.– Always do itasareply-all tothe firstmessage, thenkeep itbrief.
HiAndy,
Justwonderingwhetheryou’vehadamomenttolookatthebelow.
Thanksandallthebest!
Alex ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
IfyouDOhaveacupofteawithsomeone– IMPORTANTRULES:
• RESEARCH THEM- better,deeperquestions- notwastingtheirtime–oryours– askingwhat
you canlearnfromGoogle- acceleratesfamiliarity
• DON’T belate,or messthem around whenbooking thetime
• Switch yourphone ontosilent©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
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IfyouDOhaveacupofteawithsomeone– IMPORTANTRULES:
• Tryandmention anarticle/film/book, thatyoucanthensend themthelinkto
- excuseforfollowup- showsreliabilityè buildstrust- positionsyouagainassomeonewho
ADDSVALUE
• AFTERWARDS:THANKTHEM©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015
ÜBER-CLASSYMOVE:
Sendahand-written thankyounote
ALSOsendanemail ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
TwoMoreVeryImportantPoints1.Network with EACHOTHER
Don’tassumethat because someone isn’t senior toyou, they’re notagoodperson tohave inyournetwork
- younever knowwho’s friendswith whom- younever knowwhere someone will endup- you’re MUCHmore likely toget helpandfavours fromsomeone whocanmore easilyremember the positionyou’re in!
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Ifyou’regood atwhat youdo, andnice:
It’s yourRESPONSIBILITYtonetwork!
Sothat capableYOUgetsthejob, insteadofsomeone whoisn’t.
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Networkingisn’tbeinglikethisguy
©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015
Talkingtopeople thatyoulikeaboutthingsyou’rebothinterested in• Actuallytalk topeopleotherthan yourmates
• Followupoveremail
• Addvalue– longbeforeyouask foranything ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,
2015