I-Parent Magazine - February 2012

i-parent.ca

i-parent The mission of I-Parent Magazine is to be the most valuable source of par-enting information and a local resource for families. We are committed to en-hancing the lives of families by maintaining excellence in editorial content and encouraging community awareness.

I-Parent Magazine 5-150 Hollidge Blvd Suite 184 Aurora, Ontario www.i-parent.ca

Publisher & Editor Donna de Levante Raphael

Contributing Writers Alesha Almata

Nora Notbohm Marcus Chandasekharan Paul Humphrey Patricia Garner Chrystal Saunders Dr. Renaldo Mortimer Ira Schwartz Patti Rawling-Anderson Brendan Camacho Donna de Levante-Raphael

Graphic Designer Hany Barsoum

Advertising Sales 905-481-1240

Marketing Manager 905-481-1240

Circulation Donna de Levante Raphael [email protected] Copyright 2012 by I-Parent Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is forbidden. Editorial submissions are welcome and should be addressed to the editor.

Departments Baby Basics 3

Toddler to Preschool 5

Education 8

PreTeen & Teen 9

Family Health 10

Together Time 15

Family Finances 20

The Hip Mom 22

The Daddy Life 24

Single Parent World 26

Features Why Black History Month Matters

Valentine’s Day

Stranger Danger

A Romantic Evening at Home For Mom and Dad

Monthly

Volume 2, Issue 2– I-Parent

Dear Moms. Dads and Guardians, 1.Chocolate cake is not a breakfast food…even if milk and eggs are ingredients!

2.Boys will be boys. And girls will be girls. It is a phase they will never grow out of.

3.Don't freak out when your toddler eats dirt…everyone does it.

4.Take them to Disney World when they are old enough to actually remember Disney World.

5.Your husband's Polo shirt can be a cute addition to your growing maternity wear collection.

6.Just because you have children does not mean you have to drive a car that makes it look like you have children .

7.Make the first birthday party interesting for parents, too…the little ones probably won't remember all of it anyway.

8.Set goals from an early age - it'll make for less conflict as the kids grow up.

9.Recycle wrapping paper…it is going to get destroyed and thrown every-where anyway. Skip the expensive stuff.

10. Grab a little shuteye whenever you can - you never know when you'll be up at 3 a.m. with a sick child.

11. Save anything and everything that you can from their childhood. They will cherish it later and maybe some day, their kids can cherish it, too.

12. Laughter is the best medicine. If not, keep a nurse hotline on speed dial.

13. Chore charts are a sanity lifesaver, and create a sense of responsibility.

14. Read with them… even if it's a magazine or cookbook. It counts as long as the TV isn't on.

15. Always have a rainy day activity on hand.

16. Car trips across country can wait until they are old enough to entertain themselves.

17. Let them get a lizard even if it grosses you out…as long as they know it is their responsibility, not yours.

18. Be prepared to find Popsicle sticks, gum and crayons crammed into every corner of your home.

19. Forts made of boxes and blankets are a perfect alternative to camping in the outdoors.

20. Teenagers are discovering who they are - let them explore, but always be there to catch them when they fall.

21. Give butterfly kisses, bear hugs and Eskimo nose rubs at all times of the day, not just before bed.

22. Locate all of the Kid's Eat Free places in your neighborhood.

23. Having a little "me" time makes you a better parent.

24. An afternoon at home creating a fantasy world is always better than a day out and about.

25. Really talk to your kids - listen to what they have to day. It's amazing what little minds know.

Sincerely, Donna

25 Things Every Parent Should Know Editor’s Note

Baby Basics


5. Teething: The process of teething can begin as

early as 3 months. Babies usually have six teeth by 1 year and a full set by 2 years. Her signs and symptoms of teething vary from baby to baby, but include crying and drooling and irritability. Items that are cold and numbing may provide the most relief for babies, including a frozen banana or a cold teething ring. Warning,: baby should always be supervised when teething on breakable items that could cause choking. Your baby may refuse to eat or drink during a teething time due to the pain. If the teething pain is extreme, give the baby a liquid or cream pain medi-cation (for dosage see bottle) teething one hour be-fore bedtime. Five minutes before mealtime rub a topical anesthesia on the affected gums.

6. Involved Daddies: years ago, dad went out and earned money, came home, put their feet up and read the newspaper – while mom handled every-thing at home. But today, parenting roles are merg-ing. Encourage your husband to help with the feed-ing, diapering and bathing the baby. Dads can also enjoy some one to one time with the baby by read-ing bedtime stories, taking the baby to the doctor and going on special outings.

7. Baby Massage: babies are sensitive to touch. When your infant is upset or just as a special treat, give him a light, gentle massage. Massage can in-crease bonding and development in premature in-fants and it’s a pleasant experience for full term ba-bies, too. Warm some baby oil in your hands and gently apply it to your baby’s skin in a circular mo-tion. Start massaging the neck and move your hands in a rotating motion. Always keep a thin layer of oil on the baby’s skin to prevent irritation. Work your way down the bay’s body to his feet. Don’t forget the arms and hands. Turn baby over and massage his shoulder, back and bottom.

By: Alesha Almata

1. Provide Medical Authorization: Most new par-ents are nervous the first time they leave baby with the sitter or even with grandma. They leave the restaurant phone number, enough formula, diapers and clothes to last a week and a list of baby preferences. But most new parents neglect to leave medical authorization to treat the baby. To provide authorization, simply rite a letter stat-ing that the sitter has your permission to seek any and all medical attention for your child. Sign and date the letter and include your medical in-surance group and policy number.

2. Pass the Pacifier: for years, pacifier use has been controversial due to concern over dental development. However, studies have shown that children under the age of four should not be dis-couraged from sucking their thumbs or a pacifier. Some pacifiers (the ones shaped like a nursing breast) may actually help a child exercise the muscles of the cheek and tongue. After age 4, continued use can effect the position of incoming permanent teeth as well as the shape of the jaw.

3. Make Those Well-Baby Visits: An important way to keep your child healthy is to follow your doctor’s schedule of well-baby visits. Most doc-tors ask you to bring your baby in about two weeks after birth, monthly for the first six months, every three months from six to 18 months and every year afterward. During exams, the doctor will discuss your baby’s development and various aspects of preventative medicine such as nutri-tion, hygiene, immunizations and ways to avoid contagious diseases. He will also help educate you about child safety. Remember to have a list of questions and concerns that you may have.

4. Laundering Baby’s Clothes: Baby’s go through lots of clothes, so you and your washer and dryer are in for a workout. If you use cloth diapers, you’ll be washing several loads throughout the week. Be sure to pre-treat stains on baby’s clothes. To pre-treat, soak for 15 minutes in a mixture of one-quart lukewarm water, one half-teaspoon detergent and one-tablespoon ammo-nia. Rinse and then soak in one-quart warm wa-ter and one tablespoon enzyme product for 30 minutes before washing. Do not use the harsh detergents adults’ use on their clothing.

As a new parent it’s impossible to know everything about raising a healthy baby. Here are some tips to help you through your baby’s first year.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY By: Dr. Renaldo Mortimer

"The phone rang one night last week and it was Mrs. Greenspan, your son's math teacher. She has informed you that your son, Ben, was hitting other students and even threatened Mrs. Greenspan. In your home, you do not like this math teacher very much because she is always picking on Ben. Why would my son bully anyone? We are an affluent and loving family." If a teacher calls home with these concerns, should a parent be upset with the teacher? Should they immediately take their child's side? Why would they listen to a teacher and assume that the teacher is correct? Unfortunately, this is what is happening too often. Maybe we should consider there might be some truth in what the teacher is calling you about. If your child's teacher calls telling you that your child is bullying others and threatening the teacher, then this needs to be a wake up call. Bullying is certainly a hot topic these days involving children of all ages. However, most of the focus in the media is on the victim, not the perpetrator. Parents should be just as concerned and involved if they suspect their child is doing the bullying as they would be if their child was the target of a bully. Because of all the recent attention, both parents and teachers are becoming increasingly aware that even very young children can exhibit bullying behavior. Definition of Bullying

To be clear, behavior that is intentionally designed to hurt or scare another child, is repeated many times, and is an attempt to control another child either physically or ver-bally is defined as bullying. This is more than an occa-sional disagreement and the bullying behavior is typically unprovoked. What Parents Can Do to Stop Bullying

So what is a concerned parent to do? First, make sure your child knows that the behavior is unacceptable and you expect it to stop. Then discuss the reasons behind the bullying behavior to see if together you can come up with alternative suggestions. Make sure to discuss how your child made the other child feel, relating times when your child might have felt the same way. Finally, brain-storm ideas of what your child might do to make the other child feel better. Being able to make a bad situation better can give the bully a sense of control over his or her own behavior and a way to start fresh with more positive social skills. Bullies need their parents' guidance as much, if not more, than the victim. If none of these efforts work out then a consultation with a professional--sooner rather than later--might be in order. It is better to nip aggressive behavior in the bud rather than assume it will be outgrown, because it rarely is. Five steps to take: 1. Discuss the topic of firearms The easy access to firearms has led to numerous school shootings and accidental shootings. It would seem like a com-mon sense move to keep them away from children. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. You must talk to your child about this topic. Owning a gun is fine. However, they need to be locked and placed in a secure location. Having trigger locks is also a good idea. The topic MUST be brought up in discussions with your children.

Toddler to Preschool


2. Control the amount of violent television shows and video games. There's evidence that people become less sensitive to violence after observing it over and over. When children play violent video games for an extended period of time, the following can occur: Tendency to be more aggressive More likely to have confrontation with their teachers Possibly encourage fights with their peers Decline in school achievements Increases in aggressive behavior because violent acts are continually repeated throughout the video game. Repetition has long been considered an effective teaching method in reinforcing learning patterns. The interactive quality of video games differs from passively viewing television or movies because it allows players to become active participants in the game's script. Players are rewarded for their violent acts by moving up levels resulting in playing for longer time periods. 3. Parenting skills can be addressed Most of the time, bullies are also victims and it could be coming from the home. Are you, your spouse, or a sibling a bully at home? Does your child frequently get criticized at home? Does he/she get spanked or hit? Is there an abusive parent in the home? Does anyone yell or use name-calling or put-downs? Many times we do not recog-nize the habits we have. However, addressing our parenting can make life much more enjoyable for all. 4. Address supervision Is there a lack of supervision at home? Maybe the child has too much time alone. Children get into more trouble between the hours of 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. because of having too much free time. Limit your child's unsupervised time other and passing the blame. This is extremely important because we won't have to face this situation. Also, spend more time with your child and their friends by inviting their friends over while you're home. 5. Work with the schools, not against the schools Meet with school officials. Let them know there is a problem and ask them, "How can we work together to solve this?" Realize this may just be a wake up call that should be stopped before it becomes a huge habit. Working to-gether with the teacher and principal should be more helpful than working against each alone. They may have dealt with this topic numerous times in the past. Yes, your child could be a bully. We want to prepare our children for the real world and not protect them from it. Bailing your child out from consequences can lead to you needing to bail him out of jail in the future. Students must be held accountable for their actions.


Education

Although it’s becoming quite a popular education choice, the deci-sion to homeschool can lead to some overwhelming questions: How do you get started? What does a typical day look like as you entertain and educate your kids all day long? How do you keep toddlers from emptying the cabinets while you teach your older kids? What about socialization? More Ontario parents are asking those questions – Canada has over 60,000 children that are homeschooled. This statistic may not be accurate as some provinces do not require parents to register their children with a school board. After researching the homeschool land- scape in Ontario, the first thing you need to know is that there is no “perfect” or “right” way to homeschool. Teaching supplies and methods are as different as the fami-lies actually doing the homeschool-ing. Homeschooling parents range from super-structured (starting school at the same time every day; teaching solely from workbooks and text-books; weekly testing) to “unschooling” (child-led learning; using field trips and outings as real-world experience; not trying to repli-cate a classroom). To get started, some homeschoolers buy an entire packaged curriculum to educate their child. This method works well for parents who are


unsure about what needs to be

taught or where their child is on the academic spectrum, and these packages usually come with a daily lesson plan. It’s also great for those who are sharing the teaching duties with their spouse, another family member or a babysitter.

Curriculum packages come in a vari-ety of choices, including religious, secular, classical, K-12, French-centered and more. The choices can be overwhelming, so do some Inter-net research and join some online groups to discuss what programs others are using and what they think of their packaged curriculum. Even better, find some local homeschool-ers and ask if you can check out their curriculum in person. The homeschoolers referred to as “un-schoolers” let their child lead the way (often called “natural learning”). The child, in effect, lets the parent know when he is ready to read, add, write, etc. “Science class” could in-clude field trips to nature centers and zoos, along with walks in the neighborhood simply discovering nature. Grammar is learned not from texts, but from reading books and

from real conversations with people of all ages. Regular trips to the li-brary play a big part in unschooling. Unit studies are a fun way for a child to cover every subject by studying one topic. For instance, if your child is a dinosaur fanatic, you would in-corporate reading, writing, spelling, history, geography, math, etc. into a unit study on dinosaurs. Your child could use a map to learn where dino-saur fossils have been found. Then she could read a historical book about dinosaurs, followed by a writ-ten book report. Math could be some word problems like: How would you split 5,000 cookies among 1,000 di-nosaurs? Those who homeschool eclectically use whatever works for their child at any given time. They pick and choose from the different methods, incorporating lots of playtime and field trips. As for socialization, it isn’t usually a concern among homeschoolers. If you want to join a homeschool group, head to the Internet where you can search for groups based on how you homeschool, the ages of your children, where you live, etc.

Home Is Where The School Is And one thing you’ll learn: There’s no “right” way to teach By: Nora Notbohm

Addiction Flags or Just Teen Behavior? By: Marcus Chandasekharan

5 Tips to Spotting Drug & Alcohol Abuse

It’s 11:00p.m. on a Friday night and your 15-year-old is returning home from a night out with friends. She goes straight to her room without saying a word. You look out the window and see a group of kids driving away who you don’t recog-nize. They look older. Your daughter seems hostile when you ask about them. Should you be concerned that these are warning signs of teen drug or alcohol use or is this normal teen behavior?

You should be concerned. Trust me, because I was a teenage addict. At a party, my dad allowed me, then 8-years-old, to take a sip from his margarita. It only escalated from there, as I began smoking pot at 10, and was fully addicted to ecstasy, meth and cocaine by 16. My parents didn’t act to prevent my addictions, and I struggled for years until a 12-step-program changed my life. Now as a parent, I have a passion for helping others pre-vent the cycle of addiction. So how can you tell if your teenager may be using drugs or alcohol?

1. Distinguish from what is normal teenage behavior and what is not. One of the most difficult tasks as a learning parent is to differentiate between “normal” teenage behavior and what parents should really be concerned about. Never dismiss abnor-mal behavior. It’s all a matter of paying attention, following in-stincts and acting before it is too late. Trust your gut feeling. If something feels off or wrong, it probably is.

2. Watch for changes in school performance. This can signal a problem. All teens have academic areas of weak-ness. What you need to be concerned about is a sharp drop in grades or attendance or a marked increase in discipline problems at school, especially if it detours away from his or her usual performance. Be on top of what’s going on in your child’s life. Provide stability for your child so they don’t have the chance to run wild, get bored and turn to sub-stances to occupy the time that you aren’t giving–like I did.

3. Look out for changes in your child’s friends. Most teens will drift from group to group in high school as they try and figure out where they fit. The changes you should be most concerned with are: new friends your child has but doesn’t want you to meet; when usual, long-time friends stop coming around; or if you get the feeling the new group is “shady.” In my experience, it’s the job of the parent to ensure a positive influence and environment is around your child–even when you are not present. This means knowing where they are, what they are doing and who they are with.

4. Keep an eye out for physical and emotional changes. The teenage years are a normal time for change, but there are key indicators that may signal trouble:

Physical signs of drug/alcohol abuse: Changes in sleep patterns such as sleeping more than usual or not at all Significant weight changes Haggard appearance Odors of chemicals or smoke Dilated or restricted pupils Red eyes Emotional signs of drug/alcohol use: Severe or unreasonable mood swings Paranoia Angry outbursts that are disproportionate to the situation Not showing emotional involvement in things that used to matter Con’t P 14

PreTeen & Teen


Family Health

By: Patricia Garner We asked Anthony F. Porto, M.D., M.P.H., director of pediatric gastroenterology at Greenwich Hospital in Greenwich, CT, and assistant professor of pediatrics, Yale Medi-cal Group. Read Dr. Porto's advice on what age kids should be tested for high choles-terol, what the risk factors are for develop-ing high cholesterol at an early age, and how to prevent the diseases caused by high cholesterol. High cholesterol is a risk factor for coronary heart disease in adults, but some children may be at risk for premature coronary heart disease if they have high cholesterol levels earlier in life. The National Lipid Association has issued new guidelines stating that all children between 9 to 11 years of age should be screened for high cholesterol. In addition, children with a family history of premature heart disease and high cholesterol should be screened at age 2. Heterozygous familial hypercholesterolemia (FH) is an inherited condition that occurs as fre-quently in 1 in 500 people. Children with one parent with FH have a 50 percent chance of in-heriting FH. It is associated with high choles-terol, particularly high LDL ("bad") cholesterol. With high amounts of "bad" cholesterol in the blood, individuals are at increased risk for pre-mature atherosclerosis (hardening of the arter-ies) and may develop heart disease, myocardial infarctions (heart attack), and strokes at an early age. Because individuals with FH are of-ten asymptomatic for years, people can go un-diagnosed for years and present only after years of disease progression. The earlier that someone is diagnosed, the better it is for long-term health. There is no cure of FH but early identification of children with familial hypercholesterolemia is essential to provide early treatment and prevent

long-term problems. Treatment begins with die-tary changes that include eating a healthy diet that is low in total fat and minimizes intake of saturated fat. Individuals should also eat foods with high fiber content and a wide array and adequate servings of fruit and vegetables. Diet changes can decrease cholesterol levels by as much as 10 percent. Individuals should maintain an active lifestyle; ideally, exercising on most days for at least 30 minutes is recommended. If diet and exercise changes are not sufficient to lower cholesterol, a variety of cholesterol lowering drugs can be started. Once children have been tested for familial hy-percholesterolemia with a fasting lipid panel, they should be referred to a lipid specialist who can monitor lipid levels, ensure that diet changes have been implemented, and decide whether a cholesterol-lowering drug is needed.


DOES MY CHILD NEED TO BE SCREENED FOR HIGH CHOLESTEROL?

Know your name, address and phone number. Use the buddy system. Avoid walking anywhere alone. Trust your instincts. If you feel you are being followed or something is not right, seek help immediately. If a stranger approaches you, you do not have to speak to him or her. Never approach a stranger on a motor vehicle, just keep walking. Do not accept candy or other items from a stranger. Never walk off with a stranger, no matter what he or she tells you.

If a stranger grabs you, do everything that you can to stop him or her from pulling you away or drag-ging you into his or her car. Drop to the ground and kick, hit, bite and scream. Do whatever it takes to attract the attention of others who can help you. If someone is dragging you away, scream. “This is not my dad” or “This is not my mom.” While sharing the above tips with your child is ex-tremely important, the best way to teach stranger danger lessons is through role-plying scenarios.


By: Paul Humphrey PRACTICING SCENARIOS WITH YOUR CHILDREN WILL COME IN HANDY IF EVER THEY ARE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION Unfortunately, the world is a scary place and there are people out there who prey on children. No doubt it is a very important issue that all parents must ad-dress and one that requires ongoing, open communi-cation with their children. The single most important thing to remember when teaching your children about stranger danger is to instill confidence rather than fear. You want to equip your child with the knowledge and strategies they will use to protect themselves in dangerous situations. Also, keep your children’s age and maturity level in mind, and bas lesson upon that. Again, stranger danger lessons should be ongoing. Adjust the conversation as your child grows, as he r she is likely to encounter different types of situations First and foremost, children need to understand what you mean by stranger. Not all people unknown to them are necessarily dangerous – they need to un-derstand the difference between “good” and “bad” strangers, an overly simplistic dichotomy, but on that puts the issue in terms as a child can understand where and who t turn to if they are ever lost, scared or threatened, or think someone may be following them. Examples of “good” stranger may include police offi-cers, security guards, teachers, store clerks, etc. These are examples of people to turn to if your child needs help. On the other hand, in many situations where a “bad” stranger may approach your child – the park, residential street etc. – these easily identifi-able people may not be around. Your child should know that there really are many more “good” people than “bad.” If they are ap-proached by a “bad” stranger who tries to lure them away, the best thing they can do is get the attention of other adults, whether that is by running to the nearest home or making enough noise to be heard by someone. The vast majority of adults will help a child in danger. Additionally, the following are important tips and strategies for children to protect themselves.

Stranger Danger

Feature


By: Patricia Garner

Sweet Sayings This no-calorie box of sweetness will fill your val-entine with happiness many times over! Get an old or new box of candy (remove or eat the candy!). If the candy pieces come in individual paper wrappers, all the better. Cut pink and white construction paper into 1⁄2-by-51⁄2-inch strips. Write a message to your valentine on each strip of paper. It can be words of encouragement: You can do anything you put your mind to. Or inspira-tional: “Imagination is more important than knowl-edge.” – Albert Einstein. Or special treats: You get 30 minutes of extra TV. Wrap each strip tightly around a pencil and then place the coiled strip into the paper wrapper or space previously held by candy. Allow to uncoil slightly. Decorate the top with cutout hearts or glue on conversation hearts. Lollipop Flowers Write the recipient’s name on the flower’s leaf. You’ll need... Red and green con-struction paper or card stock Scissors Lollipops Glue sticks From red construc-tion paper, cut out a heart that’s just larger than the lollipop candy and glue it to the wrapper. For the leaves, fold green paper in half and cut out a leaf shape, leaving the two sides attached at the seam. unfold the double leaf shape, coat the entire sur-face with glue and fold it back over the lollipop stem, pressing to secure.

Crayon Hearts Hang these pretty hearts in front of a window to let the light shine through their melted colors. You’ll need... One 12-by-16-inch sheet of waxed paper. Pink, red and orange crayons Kraft paper (available at most office supply stores) Iron Scissors Hole punch Pencil sharpener Thread for hanging Fold wax paper in half along its length, then unfold. Shave crayons into small pieces using a pencil sharp-ener. Deposit shavings evenly onto one half of the wax paper. Fold the other half over the shavings and crimp the three edges to keep shavings inside. Put one piece of Kraft paper beneath the wax paper and one sheet on top of the wax paper. Iron lightly on medium heat, checking after every few presses. Stop when all shavings have melted and let cool. Cut into heart shapes. Punch holes and string the hearts to hang. marthastewart.com

SWEET TREATS Marshmallow Cherry Kisses This sweet, simple and tasty treat only requires three ingredients. You’ll Need... 1 package (8 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate chips 16 maraschino cherries with stems 16 marshmal-lows Melt chocolate in a saucepan on low heat, stirring oc-casionally. Place in a small bowl and cool slightly. Meanwhile, drain cherries and pat dry. Make an indentation in each marshmallow with your finger, then insert a cherry into the hole, leaving 1/3 of the stem exposed. using a fork to support the bottom of the marshmallow, dip the marshmallow in the choco-late, turning to coat the cherry. Shake off the excess chocolate. Place on wax paper-covered baking sheet and cover. Refrigerate for 20-30 minutes. Kraftrecipes.com Con’t P14

Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, don’t stress out about the perfect way to say “I love you” or even “I like you.” Try these ideas instead.

Feature


By: Chrystal Saunders

We become parents, and take on the respon-sibility of raising and caring for our children. This is a special task with hardships, and yet wonderful rewards. But, what happened to those two people who met and fell in love? Did you turn into Mama and Daddy with no hope of another romantic evening alone? Of course not! You just need to change your perspective and get those creative juices flowing. It's Valentine's Day, you don't have a reliable baby-sitter and money is tight. What can you do? The Plan There is life alone for parents, and it happens after the children are in bed. The key to plan-ning your romantic evening is thinking ahead and getting everything into place. Dad visits the video store earlier in the afternoon to rent a movie you both agree on. Shopping for your romantic meal (yes, just for the two of you) is done ahead of time. Keep everything simple and the meal light. The romance comes when you are both relaxed and not putting expectations on each other. The chil-dren are in bed, and you now have first names other than Mom and Dad. The Meal These are recipes and tips for a light meal that you can enjoy cooking together. You will find sharing the meal preparation, even if do not you usually share the cooking, to be the beginning of your romantic evening as you accomplish something special together. The Main Dish: Shrimp Scampi Noodles 1 1/2 cups wide noodles, uncooked 1/3 cup butter 1 clove garlic minced 1/4 tsp. dried basil 1/2 pound fresh shrimp, shelled and deveined 2 tsp. fresh lemon juice Salt and pepper to taste 1 tsp. fresh parsley, chopped Fresh lemon wedges

Cook noodles according to directions; drain. Meanwhile in large skillet over low heat, melt butter, add garlic and basil. Cook 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Add Shrimp; cook, stirring constantly until shrimp turn pink, about 3-4 minutes. Sprinkle with lemon juice, salt and pepper; stir in parsley. Toss hot noodles with sauce. Serve with lemon wedges. Serves 2. Note: If you wish, you can substitute bone-less, kinless chicken. It will take longer to cook, perhaps 10-15 minutes if you cut into smaller chunks before adding to your skillet. The Salad and Bread: Remember, you want to keep your meal very light. Since it's just the two of you, a simple idea is to buy a salad kit from the produce section. Most kits come with croutons and dressing. A Caesar variety would be very good with this dish. Also, you can pick up a loaf of French bread, a baguette or two croissants from the bakery section and serve with butter. The Dessert: Pots de Creme This is a rich dessert that can easily be made in the morning or anytime during the day. It does need to chill several hours. 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate broken into pieces 1/2 cup light cream 1/3 cup sugar 1 egg yolk, slightly beaten 1 tablespoon butter, softened 1/2 tsp. vanilla Whipped cream topping. Combine chocolate pieces and cream in medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with wire whisk, until chocolate flecks disappear and mixture is hot. Add sugar and continue cooking and stirring until mixture begins to boil. Remove from heat; gradually add to beaten egg yolk, stirring constantly. Stir in butter and vanilla. Pour into pretty bowls or glasses, cover with plastic wrap directly on surface of chocolate, Chill several hours or un-til set. Garnish with whipped topping. Con’t P14

A Romantic Evening at Home for Mom and Dad


Addiction Flags or Just Teen Behavior? This is not meant to be a definitive list of signs as every teen’s situation is different, but in my 18 years of work-ing with teens, I have never seen a child who was us-ing drugs that did not at least demonstrate some of the behaviours described above. 5. If you suspect drug or alcohol use, drug test your teenager. I am a big believer in drug testing. If your child has nothing to hide, then they should not have a problem taking a test. As far as I am concerned, refusal to take a drug test proves a problem exists. Your teen does not need more friends. They need a strong, dedicated parent. If you are confused and con-cerned for your child’s health and safety ask a trained professional for help. Help is available in nearly all communities, and it is better to over react than to not act at all.

Valentine’s Day Valentine Marble Bark Perfect for bake sales or to pass out at school. You’ll need... 2 pkgs. (6 squares each) Baker’s White Chocolate 3 drops of red food coloring Microwave each package of white chocolate in a sepa-rate medium microwavable bowl on high for two min-utes or until the white chocolate is almost melted, stir-ring after each minute until it is completely melted. Stir red food coloring into one bowl of the melted chocolate until it is well blended. Alternately spoon the white and tinted chocolates onto wax paper-covered baking sheets. Tap the baking sheet on the table to evenly disperse the chocolate. Swirl with a knife sev-eral times to get the marble effect. refrigerate one hour or until firm. Break into pieces. Kraftrecipes.com A Romantic Evening at Home for Mom and Dad The Rest of the EveningThe key to your whole evening is remaining flexible and not put-ting expectations on each other or the circum-stances. If one of the children wake up, even several times, take turns getting them back to sleep. If it's getting late, then eat your meal in the living room while watching your movie! Put down a nice blanket and turn your meal into a picnic. Remember to keep your sense of humor as a parent and a partner. The extras are up to you. You may want to add candles, a nice bottle of wine or sparkling grape juice! You need to get to know each other again as romantic partners, and in turn it will help you become better, loving parents raising your children together as a cou-

By: Donna de Levante Raphael Given all the talk about Canada being multicultural and post-racial, especially in light of our southern neighbour having a black president, we asked par-ents to weigh in on whether devoting a month to the contributions made by African-Canadians is still necessary. Overwhelmingly, they say it is. It’s always struck me as odd that some people come out of the woodwork this time of year complaining about Black History Month. I have been told, “We should celebrate black history every month.” I have also heard, “White History Month would be considered racist.” Both of these statements are true. Still, Black History Month was started in 1976 in the USA and 1995 recognized in Canada as a remem-brance of important people and events of signifi-cance to African-Canadians. It was, and is, a much-needed cultural awareness tool, and it is still impor-tant even today. With the celebration of our heritage, we hope that by the end of the, month your youngster will be armed with enough information to let them know that Black people were as important to the success of our country as anyone. When I was in school, the only time black people were mentioned was in reference to slavery, and those lessons were brief. You’d think that in all of the years that have passed, and with all the improve-ments in race relations, black history would be taught as an integral part of both the Canadian and American history in schools, but that hasn’t hap-pened as yet.

There have been well-meaning teachers who attempt to introduce the topic in the classroom, however due to their lack of correct knowledge, they end up warp-ing the children’s understanding of Black history. Fortunately, we as parents are able to take these in-stances as teachable moments and enlighten our kids about the truths of Black history, in an age- appropri-ate and compassionate manner. For the most part, I have not had to teach something as a reaction to mis-information that my child has brought home or a ster-ilized version of Black history found in textbooks because it is, unfortunately, not a topic discussed in her school.

Black History Month for us isn’t something we pur-posely dwell on and go out of our way to celebrate, but it is more of an awareness tool that causes mean-ingful discussion, much like Breast Cancer Aware-ness Month or Literacy Month. We don’t stop think-ing about breast cancer when October is over, and we don’t tell kids they can stop reading when December ends. While setting aside a month to dwell on Black history through TV programs and social events can be a little superficial, the intent behind it is correct. “Black his-tory is Canadian history.” If we don’t take the time to study it and accept its truths, then we fail to grow together as a nation. If we are all able to embrace Black History Month instead of fighting it, we could be more effective in educating the masses about Ca-nadian history as a whole. Until our Black Canadian Notables are celebrated as Canadian heroes, not just African-Canadian heroes, I think we still have a lot of work to do. Like Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Literacy Month, we should use February to teach and enlighten, and pray that the lessons learned carry us through the rest of the year.


Why Black History Month Matters

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Young Adult Fiction Afrika Written by Colleen Craig Tundra Books, 2008 Grade 6 / Ages 12 and up Alexandria of Africa Written by Eric Walters Doubleday Canada, 2008 Grade 7 / Ages 12 and up. Between Sisters Written by Adwoa Badoe Groundwood Books, 2010 Grades 8-9 / Ages 13 and up. Black and White Written by Eric Walters Puffin Canada, 2009 Grade 5 / Ages 11-14 Cry of the Giraffe Written by Judie Oron Annick Press, 2010 Grades 7-8 / Ages 14 and up The Freedom of Jenny Written by Julie Burtinshaw Raincoast Books, 2005 Grades 6-8 / Ages 11-14 My Name Is Henry Bibb: A Story of Slavery and Freedom Written by Afua Cooper Kids Can Press, 2009 Grades 5-6 / Ages 11 and up My Name Is Phillis Wheatley: A Story of Slavery and Freedom Written by Afua Cooper Kids Can Press, 2009 Grades 5-6 / Ages 11 and up The War Within Written by Carol Matas Scholastic Canada, 2001 Grades 5-6 / Ages 11-15 A Hare in the Elephant's Trunk Written by Jan L. Coates Red Deer Press, 2010 Grades 9-10 / Ages 14 and up. Folktales Freedom Child of the Sea Written by Richado Keens-Douglas Illustrated by Julia Gukova Annick Press, 1995 Grades 2-4 / Ages 7-9 The Name of the Tree: A Bantu Tale Written by Celia Barker Lottridge Illustrated by Ian Wallace Groundwood Books, 2002 ©1989 Grades 1-3 / Ages 5-9

The Orphan Boy Written by Tololwa Mollel Illustrated by Paul Morin Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2009 ©1990 Grades 1-3 / Ages 5-9 Mella and the N'anga: An African Tale Written by Gail Nyoka Sumach Press, 2005 Grades 5-6 / Ages 10 and up Junior Fiction Blue Mountain Trouble Written by Martin Mordecai Arthur A. Levine/Scholastic Inc., 2009 Grades 5-7 / Ages 11-12 Chanda's Secrets Written by Allan Stratton Annick Press, 2004 Grades 7-9 / Ages 13 and up Chanda's War Written by Allan Stratton Harper TrophyCanada, 2008 Grade 7 / Ages 12 and up Crossing to Freedom Written by Virginia Frances Schwartz Scholastic Canada, 2010 Grades 3-4 / Ages 8-12 A Desperate Road to Freedom: The Under-ground Railroad Diary of Julia May Jack-son Written by Karleen Bradford Scholastic Canada, 2009 Grade 4 / Ages 10-13 Elijah of Buxton Written by Christopher Paul Curtis Scholastic Canada, 2007 Grade 4 / Ages 9-13 The Watsons Go to Birmingham: 1963 Written by Christopher Paul Curtis Delacorte Press, 1995 Grades 5-6 / Ages 10-14 Rachel Written by Lynne Kositsky Puffin Canada, 2010 Grades 3-5 / Ages 8-12 If I Just Had Two Wings Written by Virginia Frances Schwartz Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2002 ©2001 Grades 5-6 / Ages 10 and up. The Last Days in Africville Written by Dorothy Perkyns Dundurn Press, 2006 ©2003 Grades 4-6 / Ages 9-12

Teachable Moments In Black History Celebrate Black History Month With Good Reads

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Grease Town Written by Ann Towell Tundra Books, 2010 Grades 5-7 / Ages 10-13 Non Fiction Africans Thought of It: Amazing Innova-tions (We Thought of It) Written by Bathseba Opini and Richard Lee Annick Press, 2011 Grades 4-6 / Ages 9-11 All Aboard! Elijah McCoy's Steam Engine (Written by Monica Kulling Illustrated by Bill Slavin Tundra Books, 2010 Grades 1-3 / Ages 5-8 The Betrayal of Africa Written by Gerald Caplan Groundwood Books, 2008 Grade 7 / Ages 14 and up Big League Dreams: Baseball Hall of Fame's First African- Canadian, Fergie Jenkins Written by Richard Brignall James Lorimer, 2010 Grades 6-7 / Ages 11 and up The Bite of the Mango Written by Mariatu Kamara with Susan McClelland Annick Press, 2008 Grades 8-9 / Ages 14 and up Black Heritage Written by Robert Livesey Illus-trated by A.G. Smith Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2006 Grades 3-4 / Ages 8 and up Choice of Colours: How African American Quarterbacks Became Canadian Stars Writ-ten by John Danakas James Lorimer, 2007 Grades 6-7 / Ages 11 and up The Children of Africville Written by Christine Welldon Nimbus Publishing, 2009 Grades 3-5 / Ages 8-12 George Washington Carver: An Innovative Life Written by Elizabeth MacLeod Kids Can Press, 2007 Grades 4-6 / Ages 8-13 Working for Freedom: The Story of Josiah Henson Written by Rona Arato Napoleon & Company, 2008 Grade 5 / Ages 10 and up North Star to Freedom: The Story of the Underground Railroad Written by Gena K. Gorrell Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2004 ©1996 Grade 5 / Ages 9 and up Oscar: The Life and Music of Oscar Peter-son Written by Reva Marin Groundwood Books, 2008 ©2003 Grades 6-8 / Ages 12 and up

Out of Slavery: The Jour-ney to Amazing Grace Written by Linda Gran-field Illustrated by Janet Wilson Tundra Books, 2009 ©1997 Grade 6 / Ages 9 and up. Viola Desmond Won't Be Budged! Written by Jody Nyasha Warner Groundwood Books, 2010 Grades 1-3 / Ages 6-9 Rapid Ray: The Story of Ray Lewis Written by John Cooper Tundra Books, 2002 Grade 6 / Ages 12 and up Season of Rage: Hugh Burnett and the Struggle for Civil Rights Written by John Cooper Tundra Books, 2005 Grades 7-9 / Ages 12 and up Singing Towards the Future: The Story of Portia White Written by Lian Goodall Illustrated by Liz Milkau Napoleon Publishing, 2004 Grades 5-6 / Ages 10 and up James Douglas: Father of British Colum-bia Written by Julie H. Ferguson Dundurn Press, 2009 Grades 7-8 / Ages 13-18 Josephine's Dream Written by Joan Betty Stuchner Illustrated by Chantelle Walther Silverleaf Press, 2008 Grades 1-2 / Ages 6-8 The Kids Book of Black Canadian History Written by Rosemary Sadlier Illustrated by Wang Qijun Kids Can Press, 2010 ©2003 Grades 5-6 / Ages 10-14 I Came as a Stranger: The Underground Railroad Written by Bryan Prince Tundra Books, 2004 Grades 6-8 / Ages 10 and up Picture Books Curtain Up! A Book for Young Performers Written by Dirk McLean Illustrated by France Brassard Tundra Books, 2010 Grades 1-2 / Ages 6-8 Nana's Cold Days Written by Adwoa Badoe Illustrated by Bushra Junaid Groundwood Books, 2009 Grades 1-2 / Ages 2-5 Up Home Written by Shauntay Grant Illustrated by Susan Tooke Nimbus Publishing, 2008 Grade 3 / Ages 5-7

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5Places in Ontario to Mark Black History Month These important sites celebrate the milestones and contributions of African-Americans, and there is no better time to go than black history month. Fort York Museum – Underground Railroad: The Wil-liam Still Story Saturday, February 11th 2pm/ 416-392-6907./ 250 Fort York Blvd. In partnership with the Ontario Black History Society, this one-hour documentary explores the role Canada played as 'Freedom's Land,' and the complex network of sympathizers and safe houses stretching from Philadelphia to Southern On-tario that provided the road to freedom. Take a tour of Fort York and learn about the contributions of early Black settlers in the defence of Upper Canada during the War of 1812. Included with regular admission. ReImagining Black History Month toronto.com / presents 28 Days: ReImagining Black History Month with works in print, video, sculpture and more. It will bring together Canadian artists to explore Black History Month. Events are Free. 0 / 7 Hart House circle, Toronto Kuumba Venue: The Harbourfront Centre toronto.com / boulevard at Auburn Ave. / Learn about Black History in Ontario at the Harbourfront Cen-tre with a hosted three day journey through African roots .

There will be dance, music. Art, storytelling and discussions on African history and the future. Kuumba also offers kids pro-gramming and many of the events are free. Prices vary. Soweto Gospel Choir brings Peace, Happiness and Love toronto.com/ / Sony Centre for the Performing Arts/ February 24 and 25th. this 24 piece gospel group from South Africa will perform a combination of traditional African music and contemporary tunes, all with an overwhelming dose of south African flair. The newest show is “African Grace.” The show is high energy and the duration is two hours. The concert will carry a powerful message that is proudly South Africa. The Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) rom.ca / 416-586-8000 / 100 Queens Park, Toronto / Saturday, January 25th Come celebrate the African an Caribbean culture and heritage with a full day of live music performances, hands on activities for kids, storytelling, film screenings and much more. Toronto Public Library Numerous Black History Month events planned throughout February. The Toronto Public Library marks Black History Month with song, film and literature that celebrate the African diaspora. "Makers of Black History in Canada is a series of four talks about important moments in Black Canadian history. The Toronto Public Library also holds more than 16,000 items in the Rita Cox Black and Caribbean Heritage Collection.

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15 Facts About 15 Black Historical Figures


Elijah McCoy (born May 2 1844 to October 110,1929) was a Canadian American inventor and engineer. Ever heard the term “the real McCoy?” It comes from an invention made by Cana-dian Elijah McCoy. He was known for his 57 U.S. Pat-ents. His invention allowed trains and other machines to be lubricated while running, and when many imitations showed up, people insisted on the real McCoy. Trains of some sort were an important part of McCoy's life: his parents, both ex-slaves, escaped to Canada via the Underground Railroad. McCoy is also credited with inventing the ironing board and lawn sprinkler. His family returned to the United states in 1847 shortly after his birth and he became an American citizen. Delos Rogest Davis (born August 4, 1846 to April 13, 1915) was the first black law-yer in Canada. Davis was from the Colchester Town-ship in Ontario and was the son of James Davis, a for-mer slave from Virginia who came to Canada via the un-derground Railroad.. Delos was born in Maryland. He taught school and then began to study law with Gordon Watts Leggatt and Charles Robert Horne of Windsor. Since he was not able to find a law office that was willing to let him article with them, in 1884, William Douglas Balfour introduced a special act allowing Davis to practice as a solicitor if he passed the required Law Society of Upper Canada test. A second special act allowed Davis to become a barrister and he was called to the bar in 1886.

William Hall (born April 25, 1827 to August 27, 1904) became the first Canadian sailor as well as first Black Canadian to receive the Vic-toria Cross in 1857. Born in Horton Bluff, N.S., He joined the Royal Navy when only a teenager. He also was decorated for brav-ery during the Crimean War.

Anderson Ruffin Abbott, M.D. (born April 7, 1837 to December 29, 1913) was the first Black Canadian to be a licensed physician. His career included participa-tion in the American Civil War and attending the death bed of Abraham Lin-coln. Abbott was born in Toronto as the son of Wil-son Ruffin Abbott and Ellen (Toyer) Abbott. The Abbotts were a prominent Black family in Toronto who had left Alabama as “free people of colour” after their store had been ransacked. After living a short time in New York, they relocated to Canada in 1835 or 1836. Josiah Henson (born June 15, 1789 to May 5, 1883) was an author, abo-litionist and minister. Born into slavery in Maryland, he escaped to Ontario, Canada in 1830, and founded a settlement and laborer's school for other fugitive slaves in Kent County. At the time of his arrival, Ontario was known as the Province of Upper Canada, becoming the Province of Canada in 1841, then Ontario in 1867, all within Henson's lifetime there. Henson's autobiography, The Life of Josiah Henson, Formerly a Slave, Now and In-habitant of Canada, as Narrated by Himself (1849), is widely believed to have inspired the character of the fugitive slave, George Harris, in Harriet Beecher Stowe’s novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin (1852), who returned to Kentucky for his wife and escaped across the Ohio River, eventu-ally to Canada. Following the success of Stowe's novel, Henson issued an expanded version of his life story in 1858, Truth Stranger Than Fiction. Father Henson's Story of His Own Life (1858). Interest in his life continued, and nearly two dec-ades later, his life story was updated and pub-lished as Uncle Tom's Story of His Life: An Autobi-ography of the Rev. Josiah Henson (1876).


Henry "Harry" Wainston Jerome (born September 30, 1940 to December 7, 1982) was a Ca-nadian track and field runner. He was known as Mr. Canada and the world’s fastest man and one of our best known athletes. He was the grandson of John Howard, a railway porter who repre-sented Canada in the 1912 Summer Olympics. Born in Prince Albert, Sas-katchewan, In 1970 he was made an Officer of the Order of Canada. Harry Jerome died of a brain aneurysm in De-cember 1982, at the age of 42. His sister, Valerie Jerome, was also an Olympian who competed for Can-ada at the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome.

Mary Ann Shadd (born in October 9,1823 to June 5, 1893)in Delaware, she moved to Canada in 1851, was the first woman publisher in North America, establishing the Provincial Freeman, an abolitionist newspaper, with Rev. Ring-gold Ward in 1853. In Windsor, Ontario she opened a racially integrated school for escaped slaves. After the American Civil War she returned to teaching in the United States, and became the first woman to enroll in Howard University law school. George Bonga (born August 20, 1802 to 1880) Born in Minnesota, and schooled in Montreal, he was a suc-cessful and famous voyageur, who spoke French and several Native lan-guages. He was also a fur trader. He was said to have carried a load of 750 pounds for a quarter of a mile; the aver-age weight was 250. Nathaniel Dett (born Robert Nathaniel Dett, October 11,1882- to October 2, 1943) in Drummondville, Ont. He was one of the most successful composers, and a conductor, and pianist in Canada and the United States. His education included an MA from the Eastman School of Music, and time at Harvard. Mr. Dett's compositions continue to be performed, most notably by the Nathan-iel Dett Chorale, a professional cham-ber choir devoted to performing Afro-centric music. Richard Pierpoint (born about 1744) in Bundou, Sene-gal. He was a military hero who formed an all Black regi-ment named the Colored Corps, Canada’s first all Black military unit to fight in the war in 1812. At 16 captured by slave traders and sent to America. During the American revolution he fought on the British side. In 1780 he

settled in Niagara Falls and became one of Upper Can-ada’s first pioneers. He died in Grand River in 1838 at age 94. Dr. Carrie Best (born March 4, 1903) in New Glasgow. A journalist who fought for equal rights for Canada’s Black citi-zens. In her 97 years of living she would defy the odds to become a poet, author, journalist and tenacious crusader. Those efforts as a writer and human rights ac-tivist have earned her a place in Nova Scotia and Canadian history. Harriette Tubman (born Araminta Harriette Ross; 1820 to March 10 1913) though not Canadian, she was an African American abolitionist, humani-tarian and Union spy for the American Civil War. After escaping slavery which she was born into, she successfully made thirteen missions to rescue more than 70 slaves using a network of anti-slavery activists and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad the US Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Law of 1850, which forced law enforcement offi-cials (even in states that had outlawed slavery) to aid in the capture of fugitive slaves, and imposed heavy pun-ishments on those who abetted escape. The law in-creased risks for escaped slaves, and more began mi-grating to Canada, which had abolished slavery. Michaelle Jean (born September 6, 1957) Canada’s First Black Governor General the 27th governor since the Canadian Confederation from 2005 to 2010. Jean was a refugee from Haiti-coming to Canada in 1968. Her ca-reer stared as a Canadian journalist. Anne Clare Cools (born August 12, 1943) is a member of the Canadian Sen-ate. Born in Barbados, with her appoint-ment, she became the first Black Cana-dian to be appointed to Canada's upper house. She is currently the longest-serving member of the Senate, since the retirement of Lowell Murray on Septem-ber 26, 2011. George Dixon (born July 29, 1870 to January 6, 1908) was the first black world boxing champion in any weight class, while also being the first ever Canadian-born boxing champion. George was born in Afric-ville, Halifax, Nova Scotia. Known as "Little Chocolate", he stood 5 feet 3 inches (1.60 m) tall and weighed only 87 pounds (39 kg) when he be-gan his professional

Is Going Back to School For You? By: Patti Rawling-Anderson

As our children get older and we mature, as the economy changes we start feeling differently about our future. Many of us think about enhancing our lives by returning to school either for a second ca-reer or to better the one we currently have. To as-sist you with reaching your decision there are a few things that you need to do before you're ready to go back to school. The first three are ongoing things you will need to work on: nothing you can master in a day, but worth pursuing and refining over time. The last five are one-time action items (mostly decision-making) that may require some soul-searching, but most likely, can be accomplished easily with some good old fashioned research. 1. Believe in Yourself The most important thing you can do for yourself is to have confidence in your abilities to manage work, family, AND school. If you have an innate belief that you are smart and capable enough, then nothing can stop you. 2. Take a Close Look at Your Life Time Management There are only twenty-four hours in day. With such a busy agenda, you need to become very efficient with the time you have each and every day. Examine your day-to-day schedule and determine when you can make time to study. Make a weekly, monthly, and long-term schedule as well. Personal Finances Review your household budget (you have one, right?) and figure out how much you can afford to pay for: tuition and fees, textbooks and any additional costs. Warm Fuzzies Create an emotional support structure that works for you: lean on friends and family to help you — you're a busy person. Also, remember that you can get virtual support in online communities, like the “Project Working Mom Com-munity,” made up of working mothers like you across the country. 3. Get Ready to Be a Student Computer Skills You don't need to be a computer genius, but you do need to have a basic working knowledge of how to use your computer and the Internet. Study Skills Taking online courses means reading and writing, and a lot of it! Get in the habit of reading and practice those writ-ing skills! Also, don't think the best (i.e. most successful) students magically know how to study — they have to work at it. You, too, can get ahead by learning strategies for taking good notes, how to do research papers and all the other school requirements. 4. Choose a Career Path and Narrow in on a Specific Job Most likely, you already have an idea of the industry in which you want to work: information technology, education, healthcare, etc. Now you need to get focused and identify a specific job that really interests you. If you have not de-cided on an industry, take a free career interests test to identify some fields that you may not have considered. You might also benefit from using resources from a career resource centre in your city.

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5. Know the Educational Requirements to Obtain the Job You Want Use the Guide to Occupations at the employment centres to decide what level of degree (associate's, bachelor's, master's, etc.) and what field of study you need to pursue. Talk to folks who are already employed in your dream job to find out what their educational path was. Look at job listings to see what level of degree and majors are required or preferred. 6. Create a List of Schools that Offer the Degree You Need Request free information from online schools, do research on the Internet, and make phone calls to get all the infor-mation you need. Compare the schools side-by-side. 7. Apply for Financial Aid The biggest mistake is to not apply for financial aid. The OSAP is a free application and worth the time to fill out. You will need a completed OSAP to learn if you are eligible for provincial, institutional financial aid. Do not be afraid of student loans. Understand the difference between good debt and bad debt. The truth is you will likely have to take a loan to pay for school. However, you already know the projected average salary and employ-ment outlook for your area, so you should have sufficient income to afford the monthly payment for your student loan. 8. Look for Grants and Scholarships It's a no-brainer to want financial aid that does not have to be repaid. But, remember, it's not going to come find you! There's leg-work involved, but definitely worth it. Search the databases for scholarships. Are you a mom who's been thinking about returning to college for your degree or career certification? It's a smart move. The time and effort you put into earning a college degree are worthwhile investments in your future, especially for moms still raising kids. Achiev-ing your degree can open the door to a range of advantages — financial, practical, and per-sonal — that can help you build the life you want, for yourself and your family. 9.The personal power of a college degree Beyond all the economical benefits of higher education, however, there's a lot to be said for the self-esteem and self-confidence that achieving a college degree can bring. We all know that moms spend a lot of their time giving to their families, doing the lion's share of the tasks of everyday life that make a family's routine run smoothly and creating an environment in which everyone else can excel, achieve, and play. But this often means that moms put aside their own goals and dreams for their families for a long time. For many mothers, going back to college is one satisfying way to restore the balance, allowing them to excel and achieve, too. Sticking with school while also working and taking care of a family is no easy task; to be awarded that college diploma at last is like a gift a mom has given herself. And it's a pretty thrilling feeling to know that your kids are as proud of you as you have always been of them. 10. 5 Reasons why moms and online degree programs are a good match With women over age 30 becoming the fastest-growing student group, online programs have become a great fit for moms returning to college. Some advantages are obvious: you can study and work on your assignments while the laundry's in the dryer and the kids are at school. But there are other reasons why online programs appeal to mothers returning to school after years away from the classroom: 1) No need to worry about age difference, or any other differences, between yourself and other students. When you're all interacting with each other and the instructor via computer, a lot of self-consciousness goes away. 2) Schedule flexibility. In most online courses, there are assignments you'll complete at your own pace, which means you can pick the best work-time for you, or reschedule around family things that come up. 3) No transportation time or cost. You'll get increased productivity out of not having to spend time getting to a campus, whether you'd have to spend gas-money and time to drive there or rely on public transportation. You'll have more time for the class work itself if you don't have to go any further than your kitchen table. Con’t P25

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Thinking of Being A Stay at Home Dad? (Part 1) By: Brendan Camacho Stay-at-home dads across the land, rejoice. You’re not alone. A study by Statistics Can-ada found that the number of men identifying themselves as stay-at-home dads has in-creased threefold over the past 30 years. Men currently account for 12 per cent of stay-at-home parents, compared with only 4 per cent in 1986. While the benefits and rewards of staying home with the girl vastly outweigh the down-side, there are a few things I wish I would have known about being a stay at home Dad before I walked down this path. In the interest of helping other men decide whether this lifestyle is for them, I offer these: Tips To Making it Work: 1- Lower Expectations. When my wife and I first started discussing reducing my work hours to spend a few days

a week at home with the girl, I naively envisioned scenes of the girl colouring away contentedly at her play table while I whiled away the day completing a thousand different projects for a hundred different clients. HA! In retrospect, I can see now why some people had funny little grins on their faces when I told them my plan. They were the parents. They knew better.

2- Let Dirty Dishes Lie. Just because you are at home with the kids doesn’t mean you have to be a “homemaker”.

To me, this is like a complete flipping of traditional family roles – roles that women successfully banished to the dustbins of history long ago. I never expected my wife to have the house spotless and dinner made when I was working fulltime and she was home with the girl, and fortunately she doesn’t expect the same. However, when my adventure began, I was surprised to find myself feeling guilty for not having a meal ready when Mom got home, and it took awhile to lose the guilt associated with having a fireplace mantel coated with dust. That’s not to say I don’t do any housework or cook a meal – far from it. But realize that just because you are at home doesn’t mean you need to revert to the traditional role of a “homemaker”. Being a stay at home Dad, like being a stay at home Mom, is not synonymous with being the primary homemaker. It’s still the responsibility of the entire family to make sure a household runs smoothly.

3- Routine, Routine, Routine. Oh my goodness, how much simpler

life is when you have a daily routine. Everyone knows what is expected, first and foremost the girl. She craves structure, and the days where we deviate from the routine tend to be difficult days. To combat this, we have settled into a rhythm that seems to work for us. We are not ruled by the clock, but we certainly go out of our way to keep the structure of the day similar from day to day.

4- Plan Events for Outside the House. Much like breaking our rou-

tine, the days when the girl and I stay at home all day tend to be hard days. I think this is because the girl needs stimulation. A toddler’s need for stimulation is second only to their need to breath. So I try to plan an outside the house activity every day. Fortunately the girl is at the age where everyday things still feel like an adventure, so sometimes a simple ride on a transit bus downtown and back suffices for her daily adventure. I’ve also found that doing our outside the house activity in the morning makes for an eas-ier transition to nap time in the early afternoon, so most of our activities are morning activities.

5- Build a Support System. I’ve found that being a stay at home parent can be a lonely, isolating experience, and

I think this goes double for men simply because the infrastructure and support is not there for us (yet). Among my friends, there are not many Dads doing the stay at home thing, so I can’t exactly pick up the phone and chat with them when I need a pick me up. I sometimes get lonely. I’ve tried playgroups and find that, while the girl has a great time, they are overwhelmingly dominated by Moms and I am often seen as a bit of an outsider. So, on the days I feel lonely the girl and I will meet Mom at work for lunch, or I some-times do call up one of the other Moms in our circle of friends for a walk or coffee. But to be honest, this is one I am still working on.

The Daddy Life

Volume 2 Issue 2– I-Parent

6- Feed Me! As obvious as this sounds, I can’t believe how long it took me to make

the connection between the girls mood swings and her blood sugar level. Toddlers need to eat and eat often. While I am good with 3 squares and the occasional piece of fruit throughout the day, the girl needs a more even flow of food. She is an eating machine and since I’ve figured out that the vast ma-jority of her mood swings are tied to her hunger level, her attitude and moods have really evened out. So the girl eats like a Hobbit – breakfast, tenzies, elevenzies, lunch, onezies, etc.

7- Slow Down and Live in the Moment. One of the amazing things about the girl is

that she forces me to slow down and re-examine the everyday world because the everyday world is so new and exciting for her. We can spend an hour walking around the block, which may sound about as exciting as watching paint dry, but trust me, through a toddlers eyes the world is a pretty interest-ing place. So I make a point of moving at the girl’s pace. And since I have long ago lowered my expectations (#1) and exorcised my inner homemaker demon (#2), I can free my mind to help the girl separate the red leaves from the yellow leaves on the front lawn.

There you go. Some lessons learned from the front lines of stay at home daddydom. So, what about you? If one of your buddies came up to you and said “I’m thinking of taking some time off work to stay at home with my kid,” what piece of advice would you give them?

Is Going Back to School For You? 4) You'll meet fellow students from all walks of life. Your class could have students from across the country and even across the world, considering students who may be participating from American military bases. 5) Teachers may have more time to spend with you. You may find it easier to get hold of your teacher via email, Twitter, instant messaging, or conversation in a forum than you might have during limited office hours on campus. Increased access to teachers has turned out to be an unexpected bonus of online learning. Make sure your education program is accredited When it comes to online education, here's the "Buyer Beware" for moms returning to college: make sure the school and program you enroll in are legitimately accredited by a higher education accrediting agency. Accredita-tion is essential for credit transfer, as well as for your degree to be recognized and respected by future employers, and for provincial financial aid eligibility. Paying for your college degree Begin your financial aid planning with the student aid program, OSAP Ontario Student Assistance Program. There is more provincial funding available than you might think because many students never even apply for it. This leaves thousands of student aid dollars available every year. Provincial financial aid is offered through grant programs, loan programs, and the work-study program. Don't make any assumptions about whether you'll qualify; approximately 66% of subsidized loans are awarded to students with a family adjusted gross income (AGI) of under $50,000 and about 25% go to students with a family AGI of $50,000 to $100,000. Private scholarships and grants are additional sources of funding for moms going back to college. In addition to cutting down on tuition costs, you may be able to cut down on the time it takes you to attain your de-gree if you have prior credits or other training. Moms going back to college are moms who believe in the power of education Moms who decide to go back to college are powerful role models for their kids, no matter how old those children may be; a large majority of working professionals who return to school as adult students claim their mother as their greatest influence. So, even mothers who return to school to accomplish their own goals help their children at the same time, demonstrating by example their belief in the power and achievement of a college degree.

Volume 2 Issue 2– I-Parent

The Joys of Being A Single Parent After Divorce By: Nora Notbohm Raising kids is hard; raising kids alone is near- impossible. It’s absolutely not easy to raise kids when you’re a single parent. However, although it may seem awful, it offers quite a number of astonishing benefits that can make everyday life easier for everyone. According to single parenting statistics, majority of the single parents today are mothers who are currently di-vorced, separated or single parents by choice. Friends and ac-quaintances often wonder how single moms manage to take care of their kids, and more often than not elicit pity and awe for a status that a lot of people think of as just shy of sainthood. There’s no doubt that single moms face significant problems, with financial hardship usually at the top of the list. And of course, there are the unending needs of the children, along with their questions about the absent parent that can be very hard to answer. Being married is definitely better when one has kids—but not all the time. You’re better off being a single mom if your only other option is to stay in a bad marriage. Here are some very good reasons why single mommyhood is worth celebrat-ing: It is much, much easier to do things alone than to con-stantly fight about who does what. In a family where two parents are present, it is automatically presumed that the workload necessary to raise the kids is divided in half. What really goes on is this: the arguing alone over who does what is far more exhausting than the task itself. A lot of the couple’s time and effort are spent in figuring out a system of dividing the chores, reminding your spouse to do his share of the bargain and resenting him if he fails to do so, then trying out a new system that most likely won’t work either. It’s a draining cycle that a lot of women have to endure. When you’re the only parent in the house, your word is the law. There’s no one to challenge your authority, especially when establishing house rules. Sure, it’s no joke to make all the choices yourself, but decision making will always be a part of life, whether you’re married or not. However, being a single parent makes one realize the enormity of one’s re-sponsibility, thus it is taken more seriously because there isn’t anyone else one can depend on. Some divorced couples wage an unending battle about custody of the kids. But when it’s already settled, it can actually be a blessing to the cus-todial parent (oftentimes the mom). Sharing custody of the kids can give a single parent a much-needed time-out, be it a whole afternoon or a whole week-end. It’s not about wanting to get rid of the kids— it’s only about having some alone time, knowing that the kids are in good hands. If a happily married woman can benefit from a time-out, then a single mom definitely could, too. Even if di-vorce is no longer as shocking as it was 20 years ago, there are still some know-it-alls who can foresee only a very bleak future for children of divorced families. On the contrary, the kids are often better off than if they were forced to stay in a “complete” family, listening to Mom and Dad hurl angry words and furniture to each other. Divorce is devastating, everyone knows that—but the experience also teaches kids very important lessons in life. Be-sides, there are a lot of juvenile delinquents who come from upright families, so having only one parent is never a reason for the kids to be futureless. As a single parent, you have all the freedom to give in to your little quirks which you couldn’t do while living with someone else. You can arrange your clothes in precision and have all the closet space -- all to your-self.

Single Parent World


I-Parent Magazine - February 2012

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Transcript of I-Parent Magazine - February 2012