HR: Issue 3Parent-child Relationships

HR – Issue 3 Parent-child Relationship

What is involved in the kind of mature relationship between parents and their teenage children which leads to a smooth transition to the independence of adulthood?

1 How have changes in family patterns in H.K. affected the way that parents relate to their teenage children and the expectations that each has of the other? What is the current trend?

2 What factors underlie the phenomenon usually referred to as "the generation gap"? To what extent do H.K. parents underestimate the extent of the generation gap between themselves and their teenage children, while their children overestimate it?

3 What are the main causes of conflict between parents and their teenage children in H.K.? How are these conflicts typically "resolved"? When conflicts occur, which strategies, on the part of both parents and teenagers, appear to be the most effective?

4 How are children usually affected when they grow up in a home where the parents are in open conflict? In H.K., what are the consequences for the children when their parents separate or divorce? What is the impact on children when they grow up with only one parent?

5 Can H.K. parents better prepare their children to make the transition from adolescence to adulthood?

Parenting StyleParenting Style

Style of ParentingPsychologists divide parenting styles

into 4 types, depending on the degree of demand and control and the degree of acceptance and rejection:

1 Authoritarian (high demand, low acceptance)2. Authoritative (high demand, high acceptance)3. Permissive (low demand, high acceptance)4. Neglecting (low demand, low acceptance)

1. The Authoritarian TypeChildren growing up in authoritarian families – with high

levels of demand and control but relatively low levels of warmth or responsiveness – often have difficulties in getting along with others. Some appear subdued; others are too aggressive and easily go out of control. “Out of control” children usually come from authoritarian families that provide no guidances for their children, while subdued children usually come from authoritarian families with too strict principles. They perform less well in school and have lower self-esteem than children of authoritative families.

2. The Authoritative TypeAuthoritative parents set clear limits and firm rules but also

respond to the children’s individual and emotional needs. Children from authoritative families usually have higher self-esteem, are more independent but at the same time more able to cooperate with parents and other people. They are self-confident, achievement-oriented in school and get better grades. Communications between parents and children are adequate and effective. Strong emotional bonds are established within the family.

3. The Permissive TypePermissive parents do not enforce firm rules in their daily child rearing practices. Children from permissive families do slightly worse in school, are more aggressive, and tend to be less mature. They are less likely to accept responsibility and are less independent.

4. The Neglecting TypeNeglecting parents neither control nor care about their children. More often than not, parents of this style are themselves troubled by problems they fail to face or solve. Children from neglecting families show disturbing signs in their relationships with peers and with adults. They tend to be more impulsive and antisocial, less competent with their peers, and much less achievement oriented in school. Reference:Bee, Helen. The Growing Child. New York: HarperCollins College Publishers, 1995.

Discussion1. What are the differences between these styles of parenting? Is there an

ideal parenting style for all children and parents? If yes, which parenting style is ideal? Why?

2. Which parenting style is commonly found in our culture?

3. Which parenting style is commonly found in Western culture?

4. Which parenting style is better?

5. Do you expect children from these two cultures to behave differently in the same situation? Why? Please be specific.

Reflection

1. What is the parenting style of your parents? Do you like it and feel comfortable with it?

2. Why do your parents adopt this style of parenting?

3. What parenting style do you prefer that they adopt? Have you ever discussed your idea of the “ideal” parenting style with your parents?

4. Have you ever requested more freedom and right of decision-making from your parents? Have you requested too much or too little? Why?

5. Try to talk to your parents about what you have learnt in this section. Try to understand their concerns, their difficulties and constraints.

Video Appreciation

• Fostered Parents Plan http://programme.tvb.com/news/pearlreport/video/739/103233

As a comparison…• WHAT MAKES PARENTS SO DESPERATE THAT THEY WOULD

ABANDON THEIR OWN CHILDREN? IN MAINLAND CHINA, MOST OF AN ESTIMATED 15 MILLION ORPHANS ARE IN FACT ABANDONED KIDS. THE MOST COMMON REASONS ARE THAT UNDER THE ONE-CHILD POLICY, MANY PARENTS GIVE UP GIRLS AND DISABLED OR SERIOUSLY ILL CHILDREN TO MAKE WAY FOR A HEALTHY BOY. THE PEARL REPORT GOES TO SHANXI AND HUNAN PROVINCES TO VISIT SOME OF THESE POOR BABIES AND THE GOOD SAMARITANS WHO ARE STRETCHING THEIR MEANS TO HELP THEM.

AND IN YET ANOTHER SCAM BY UNSCRUPULOUS MAINLAND OFFICIALS, THEY FORCE IMPOVERISHED FARMERS TO GIVE UP THEIR EXTRA BABIES, UNDER THE ONE CHILD POLICY, THEN SELL THEM, AS ABANDONED KIDS, TO OVERSEAS ADOPTIVE PARENTS. THE OFFICIALS CAN EARN UP TO 3,000 US DOLLARS IN SO-CALLED "SPONSORSHIP FEES".

• http://programme.tvb.com/news/pearlreport/episode/20091213/

ISSUE:ISSUE:

PROSPROS Agree/Disagree REASONSAgree/Disagree REASONS

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Issue:

Choose 1 Stakeholder: If you were him/her, what would you do?

Rationales behind the Views:

Stakeholders

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ISSUE:ISSUE:

ASPECT: Political Cultural Social Educational EconomicalASPECT: Political Cultural Social Educational Economical

(Choose 2) Others: (Choose 2) Others:

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Similarities / Differences:Similarities / Differences:

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STRENGTHSSTRENGTHS WEAKNESSESWEAKNESSES

OPPORTUNITIESOPPORTUNITIES THREATSTHREATS

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