How to Talk Dirty a Guide for Women

Denise Brienne

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Copyright 2012http://www.DeniseBrienne.com

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IntroductionWhy Talk Dirty?The Most Important PartDirty Talk Doesnt Have to Be FilthyHow Do I Get There?Where to Get IdeasSetting the StagePutting Words in Your MouthCreative Images in Everyday LifeFine-Tuning Your Bedroom TalkTaking it Further: Phone SexMake it Quick! Dirty TextingPlaying Online: Cybersex and EmailDirty Talk in PublicThose Whoa! MomentsNaughty Role-playing Tips and TricksGirl on Girl Dirty Talk

Getting Hard-coreNow That Youve Done ItSpecial Bonus from Denise

Introduction

Good dirty talk can rev up yourrelationship like nothing else. If you'reready to learn, youve come to theright place! From the very beginning of our lives,our words are anticipated. Thesmallest "coo" when we are babies islistened to with baited breath. Thatfirst giggle is often enough to provokegales of laughter and maybe eventears of pride. At some point, we realize that our

sounds can give us what we want.Babies quickly learn that if they cryabout something, Mommy and Daddywill be there to take care of theproblem. One of the first things welearn is the power behind our voices! Then we begin to talk. Oh, what aglorious day that is! Parents anddoctors wait anxiously for that firstcomment, and when it comes, itscause for celebration. They call friendswith the good news, tell strangers atthe grocery store, and break out thevideo camera. Our first words areshow-stoppers.

But somewhere along the way, thosefantastic words becomecommonplace, and the magicdisappears. Discovering new wordsbecomes a non-event. Even learning anew language isnt all that impressive.After all, everyone does it. Learning anew language has become the trendything to do. But there is a different language, onethat only seasoned adults can handle.It's the language of love. Morespecifically, the language of lust. It's the language of dirty talk.

Its all about taboo phrases, naughtycurse words, and innuendo thatwould make a porn star blush. Its allabout making your partner anticipatewhat comes next. Its about makinghim so eager, so hot, so turned on,that a single word from you can tiphim over the edge of desire. With anear for adventure and an open mind,you can have him hanging on everyword. There was a time when you learnedthat your voice and your words hadthe power to move people. Yourwords had the power to get what youwanted, and to get it fast. Now that

you're an adult, you have that samepower, just ready to be discovered allover again. Your dirty talk can giveyou what you want in bed -- you justhave to learn the language. Read on and find out how. You knowyou want to!

Why Talk Dirty?

You might be reading this becauseyour partner has expressed aninterest in hearing naughty words inthe heat of passion. You might havesought out this book because you arethe one who craves those sweetnothings. Maybe you want to liven upyour sex life, or maybe you are justcurious as to why your partner likes totalk so much in bed. Maybe you arealready a fantastic dirty talker whoneeds a new idea or two, or maybeyou're just in the mood to brush upon your naughty skills.

Whatever the reason, you've chosenthe right route to get what you need!Talking dirty has become so much apart of our sexual culture that it hasspawned surveys, interviews, forums,books, and research galore. In fact,before it was called "dirty talk," theart of saying sexual things to yourlover with the intent to arouse had ascientific name: Lagnolalia. There's good reason for all thisscientific interest. Over 80% of our sexlife takes place in our heads, meaningthat fantasy, memory, and desire aresome of the most powerful drivingforces behind everything we do

behind closed doors. Studies haveshown that by the time you actuallyget physical with your partner, yourmind has been leading up to theencounter. So why not go for the dirty talk? It'sbeen in the back of your mind all dayanyway! According to Aline P. Zoldbrod, PhD,the author of more than a few bookson naughtiness, sexy talk with yourpartner not only revs up play betweenthe sheets, but enriches your life inways you never would have imagined.It makes your partner feel good toknow how excited you are, and your

excitement makes them feel like thebest lover in the world. That might explain why dirty talkmakes you tingle in all the rightplaces, but it doesn't explain why thenaughtiest dirty talk can also be thehottest. It's one thing to say "fuck"and get a smile, but it's quite anotherto tell your partner exactly how youwant to fuck them, in the mostgraphic terms you can imagine. Thedirtier the words, the better. What'sup with that? One word: Taboo.

From the time were young children,were taught not to say dirty words.Saying naughty things is not whatgood girls or boys do. Breaking thattaboo with a partner makes you feellike youre breaking the rules, andthat in turn makes you feel moreadventurous. When the bedroom door closesbehind you and those dirty wordscome out of your mouth, the societalconventions disappear. You mightblush like mad, and you might evenget a bit paranoid and wonder whatwould happen if anyone, God forbid,heard you talking like this! You might

even get flustered and not be able tospeak above a whisper. That's whenyou know you've just broken down abarrier you might not have known wasthere in the first place. The best dirty talk kicks open an evenwider door with one very importantquestion: If you can talk dirty in bed,what else can you do? Talking dirtyunlocks doors you never even knewwere there! Explicit talk is a confidence-booster,too. Not only does it make him hot tohear about the things you want to dowith him, it also gives you the

satisfaction of knowing howthoroughly youve turned yourpartner on. The naughtier you talk,the sexier you feel. That sexinessdoesnt go away when you leave thebedroom, and the confidence you pullfrom that spills over into everythingelse you do. Most importantly, talking dirty givesyou the chance to voice what youreally want in bed, whether it be withflowering language or blunt and tothe point either way, it increasesyour chance of sexual satisfaction. Zoldbrod points out the benefit of

dirty talk: its a proven fact thatwomen who talk about their sexualneeds have sex more often and aremore orgasmic. Who wouldnt love totest that out?

The Most Important Part

Before you embark on the adventureof learning how to talk dirty to yourpartner, keep the most important partof sex in mind. No, it's not yourtechnique in bed, even that one oh-my-god move that makes everyoneyou've ever touched beg for more. It'snot even the dirty talk -- though wewould love to say it is the mostimportant thing you can do in bed, itreally does rank a close second. What ranks first? Intimacy. Pure,honest intimacy.

There are many definitions ofintimacy, but when it comes toromantic relationships, it all boilsdown to the same thing. Intimacy isthe feeling of being close to someone,that warmth and comfort that comesfrom knowing someone well. It's morethan just sex -- in fact, you can haveintimacy without having sex at all.Intimacy is the emotional connectionand response you have to yourpartner. The hottest tumble is nothingcompared to the sizzling heat thatcomes when intimacy is involved.Being comfortable with your partner,

eager to please, and ready to open upa part of yourself to him is the key toa great sex life. But that's just the start of the goodstuff. As intimacy builds, our inhibitionsdrop. The more comfortable youbecome with your sexuality, the morelikely you are to embrace every aspectof it, even those you might have onceconsidered taboo. In the midst ofdeep intimacy, what was oncefrightening can be empowering. Talking dirty is like sharing a secret

with your partner, one that only thetwo of you know and understand.When youre out and about in public,presenting your best face to theworld, nobody but your partnerknows how naughty you can really be.When you face your coworkers oryour boss or doctor or anyone else,for that matter, they have no ideaabout the true person you becomewhen you are in bed with your lover.Your partner is the only one who seesall the hidden sides of you. What athrill, knowing there is something sospecial that only the two of you share,and no one else could ever guess!

As you learn to talk dirty, it opens upa whole new world of possibility. Youwill probably learn things about yourpartner that you never imagined, andits a sure bet hes going to learn quitea bit about you! Your willingness totalk dirty to him shows him how muchyou want him, and that leads toenhanced intimacy between the twoof you. The closer you feel to yourpartner, the better your sex life willbe. But even the deepest intimacy leavesa little room for shyness, and that'swhere this book comes in handy.Think youre too shy for dirty talk? By

the time youre finished reading this,you wont be! These chapters,designed to take you from the dirtytalk basics to the talking dirty like apro, will get your mind racing, yourheart poundingand your mouth indown-and-dirty gear.

Dirty Talk Doesnt Have to Be Filthy

When you hear the words "dirty talk,"what is your first response? What doyou see in the back of your mind? Chances are when you think of dirtytalk, your first thought is somethingyouve seen out of a porn film. Itsover the top, maybe a bitembarrassing. Maybe it's so "outthere" that you cant imagine doing inyour own bedroom. On the otherhand, maybe it's so filthy that it turnsyou on, and that in itself makes youfeel a littlewell, filthy.

You might remember a scene or twoof a woman talking nonstop in thedirtiest language she could muster.Maybe even thinking about it makesyou blush. But maybe it turns you onat the same time. When you first begin to explore dirtytalk, you're venturing into an areathat has often been considered taboo.No matter how open-minded you are,there might be times when you feel abit uncomfortable. But some wouldargue that a sign of really good dirtytalk is that it makes you squirm inyour seat! After all, if everythingabout sex were comfortable, what

would be exciting about it? Dirty talk in that porn movie might beover-the-top and corny. But the dirtytalk you will learn through this bookwon't sound corny at all -- it willsound sexy, sophisticated, and oh-sohot. In other words, don't try to competewith that porn star. They are readinga script, being fed their lines, and reallife is not like that. In real life, you canbe sexier than any porn star! It takessome time to get there, however, sotake things slow and start with thebasics.

First of all, dirty talk doesnt have tobe filthy. You can show your pleasure and rev his engine to redline withthe sounds you make. When youmoan in pleasure, it tells him hesdoing something right. When yougroan as he enters you, youre tellinghim how much you like the way hefeels inside you. The way you sighwhen you close your eyes and give into the sensation can make him feellike a king. The sounds you make, whether it begroaning or screaming or simply heavybreathing, will tell him volumes about

how you feel and what you want himto do. The tone of your voice goes a longway, too. When you whisper in hisear, your voice will be roughened anddeepened by the passion you feel.That's a natural response of yourbody to his. There's not a single thingfake about that sound that comesfrom your mouth, and your lover willrecognize it immediately, in the waythat the most primal passions unfold. Though sweet romantic words andhardcore raunchy ones both havetheir place, sometimes just whispering

a sexy word can be much moreeffective than just belting it out in themidst of passion. Saying how muchyou love the way he touches you isgood, but murmuring it into his ear isbetter. Drop little kisses down hischest while you whisper that youwant to taste him. Simple words,nothing raunchy but the way theyare said, with the sultry tone of yourvoice, is enough to light up all hisdials. The emphasis you put on certainwords can immediately create anatmosphere of desire. Touch mehere, makes it clear where you want

his hand. My turn might be a goodway to let him know you want to beon top. Give it to me says, without adoubt, you want itwhatever itmight be. Get creative with the simple, usualwords you use in bed, and use theemphasis to make your wishes clear. Here are a few more not dirty talkexamples:

I love it when you touch methere.

Right there, honey. Thats it.Right there.

Dont stop.

I love it when you look at me likethat.

Do that againand again!

You're so good at this.

That makes me melt

I love the way you feel against myskin.

Your body is perfect.

Lay back and let me play with youfor a while!

You taste so good.

You make me feel so good.

Tell me how you want it.

I can't stop shakingI want youso much.

You make me so hot.

My whole body feels alive!

How do you do such things tome?

Your body turns me on.

Watch what youre doing to me.

Do you have any idea what thisdoes to me?

Look in my eyes when you dothat.

I love the things you can do withyour hands.

Youre so good with your tongue,baby.

I've never felt anything like thatbefore.

Do you feel that? Feel how youmade my body react?

This is one of the reasons I adoreyou.

Looking into his eyes as you say those

sultry things is always a turn-on. Menare very visual creatures, so if theycan see what they are doing at thesame time they are hearing it, theimpact of your words will be so muchhotter. They also love to see what ishappening inside you, on anemotional level, where it reallycounts. What lover doesn't want towow his partner? By looking into youreyes as you say something to them,they can see how youre feeling, too.The combination of the physical andthe emotional is a heady one.

But that only goes so far, doesnt it? Ifyoure thinking about talking dirty,youre probably hoping for somethinga bit more hard-core than that. Butbefore we move into that, anotherthing to remember: The best dirty talk is made up ofwords that create images in the mind.The best dirty talk should paint apicture of intimacy and heat, one thatfeeds on his every desire and createsa living, breathing picture right infront of him. Every word of your dirtytalk should create those images, andput you right in the middle of them.

You want to be not only in his bed,but in his head as well. Start by getting comfortable with yoursounds and your emphasis. Thenyoure ready to start gettingcomfortable with the more intensedirty talk that both of you will love.

How Do I Get There?

If youre reading this, youre alreadyon the right track to becomingcomfortable with those naughtywords. Learning is the best way toovercome your fears, and this book ismeant to help you do that. Its also a good bet that yourealready thinking a dirty thought ortwo as you read, and thats good because it all starts in your mind. In fact, lets start right now. Take thetime to think about these questions:

Whats the sexiest thing you can

imagine?

When you think of your partner,whats the one thing about himthat turns you on more thananything else?

Think about the last time youhad sex what was the one thinghe did that you enjoyed themost?

What did you do when he didthat?

Did you tell him, with words, orwith sounds, or with the motionof your body, how much youloved it?

How did he respond?

Think about the sexual act. Whatdo you love most about sex withyour partner?

Picture his body. What do youlove about it?

What kind of noises does hemake?

Which particular noise or phrasefrom him turns you on more thanothers?

You know there are certain thingshe likes what are they? Imaginethem in the most vivid, breath-

taking, heart-pounding detail youcan muster.

Are you feeling hot yet? If you are, and you are so inclined togo further with those thoughts in yourhead, now is the time! Masturbationis a good way to learn what you want.Now is a good time to learn whatwords turn you on, and how to talkabout what is happening when youreall riled up. Find the time to crawl into bed aloneand start to play, doing all the thingsyou might normally do only thistime, talk about it. Say the words out

loud. Nobody is around to hear you,so who cares if you sound corny? Describe what you do. If you strokeyour thighs with your fingertips, saythat. If you rub your breasts with yourhands, say that, too. Are your nippleshard? Say it out loud. Play withdifferent words for body parts. Touchyourself and name what youretouching.This is a good time to figure out whatwords feel taboo. Does the wordcunt bother you? Does the wordpussy seem to be a better fit? Whichis easier to say? Which one turns youon more? Which one turns you off?

If youve never said those wordsbefore, do it now, and keep doing ituntil you decide how you feel aboutthem. How would you feel if your partnerused those same words? Close youreyes and imagine it. How would youreact? Envision your partner sayingthose naughty words into your ear.How does your body respond? Find what turns you on and say it,over and over. Getting comfortable with saying it to

yourself is only part of the battle.Youve got to be ready to say it toyour partner, too. Worried about howyou might look or sound when youlaunch into your dirty talk? Start by looking into a mirror andtalking to yourself. Give yourself thatsultry look while you say how muchyou like having your breasts stroked.Blow yourself a kiss. Talk about how itmakes you pussy tingle when he doesthat one thing that drives you wild.Are you laughing yet? Good! Get the giggles out now, whileits just you and the chick in the

mirror. Get as silly and as naughty asyou want! In fact, try to make yourselflaugh. How outrageous can you get?How far over the edge of "out there"can you go? Have fun with it! At this point it might seem thattalking dirty without laughing isimpossible, but the more you work atsaying those words that make youblush, the easier its going to get.Doing something once is hard; butafter doing it fifty times, suddenly itseems much easier. Some people are concerned about theway they will sound if they try to talk

dirty. If you're worried about howyour voice will sound when you're hotand bothered, invest in a taperecorder, or use the voice memofunction on your cell phone to recordyourself while you masturbate.Remember, no one is going to hear itbut you, and you can erase itimmediately after you listen to it. If you do decide to do this, take noteof how your voice changes as you getmore turned on. That sexybreathlessness in your voice is whatwill get your partner going! Saywhatever comes to mind as you dothis, including dirty words. Get

creative! When you play the tapeback, think about how sexy you sound-- and make note of words that soundespecially delightful when they comefrom your trembling lips. Remember what we said before: doingit once is hard, but the more you doit, the easier it gets. Practice, practice,and more practice makes perfect!

Where to Get Ideas

When you're at a loss for dirty words,it can be hard to know where to start.It seems like the "tips" you find inmainstream magazines just cover themost basic words and nothing else. Ofcourse, they are often bound byeditorial commitments and can't getinto the nitty-gritty dirty talk tips! Sowhere are you to go when themagazines at the checkout line let youdown? Plenty of places, actually. You mightbe surprised at how many optionsthere are. Ideas for good dirty talk are

everywhere! Let's start with the most obvious:Porn. Good old-fashioned porn movies arethe master manuals for dirty talk.Hundreds of actresses over dozens ofyears have perfected the naughtiest,smuttiest, most depraved talkimaginable. There are even porn films dedicatedentirely to the subject of dirty talk,and those particular movies might usewords that you've never even heardbefore -- and perhaps will never hear

again. For all the fun porn can be,some of those films are dead-seriousabout their dirty talk! If youre looking for advice on talkingdirty, these movies are chock-full ofexperts. Some of them might becorny, and some might even make youlaugh out loud, but dont discredit thepossibilities they offer! Some of theideas in porn movies are going to befar too over-the-top for the beginner,but study them anyway. Better ideas for dirty talk will comefrom reading erotic stories. There areanthologies dedicated to talking dirty,

and a few minutes on the internet willbring up thousands of stories that willinspire you. Whatever you want, youcan find everything from phrasesgood for gentle and easy lovemaking,to hard-core comments suitable forthose moments when youre going atit hot and hard. Good erotica should make you thinkand make you hot at the same time. Itshould also be the "readable" kind oferotica, something suitable to be readaloud, with a slow buildup to aclimax. This allows you plenty of timeto get turned on while reading, to letyour voice drop to that sultry growl,

and to entice your partner intogetting horny long before you turn tothe last page. When you do find an erotic story toread, print it out (or if you bought itin an anthology from the bookstore,even better!). Make sure the story youchoose to read doesn't go over fivepages or so. That might not seem likea lot, but you speak much slower thanyou read, so five pages will stretch outto quite a while -- long enough to getthe party started, so to speak. When you're looking for dirty talkideas, don't discount your friends.

What? You thought they were angelswho never entertained the idea ofsome nasty dirty talking? Think again!

Everybody has one of those friendswho seems to have done it all. Its thefriend who has enjoyed sexualencounters most people only dreamof, and lived to tell the tale in vividdetail. Now is the time to give thatfriend a chance to help you out. Appeal to his or her expertise in thesexual realm, and ask for advice onwhat phrases are the biggest turn-onin the sack. You might get more thanyou bargained for, but you will

definitely get some tips! Also pay attention to that close friendwho never talks much about their sexlife. Sometimes it is the quiet typewho has a regular Fourth of July in thesack! If they are willing to open upabout what they do in bed, you canfind a ton of surprises lurking behindthat innocent faade. The places to acquire new dirtyvocabulary words are endless. Let'srecap a few while introducing a fewmore:

Porn Films: These are the gold

standard for naughty talk. To findones that highlight what yourelooking for, ask your salespersonat the local naughty bookstore,or go online and do a search.Look for those movies that have"dirty talk" or "talking dirty" inthe tags if you are searchingonline. If you are going to a sexshop to find them, look formovies that focus on dialogue.

Sexy Mainstream Movies: Hotmovies like Lust/Caution andUnfaithful are good for dirty talkideas that arent really dirty talkat all. As an added bonus, you

can watch these movies withyour partner and get turned onbut it's not like putting in a pornflick. It's actually the best of bothworlds!

Erotica: Find it on the web, orpick up a book at a majorbookstore. Remember to keepthe erotica short and sweet. Afew good options might be Frenzyor Got a Minute? Bothanthologies feature stories thatare short enough to make a quickimpression, but long enough toget the fire going.

Music: Some of the sexiest turns

of phrase show up in song lyrics.What songs turn you on? Whichsongs got your attention backwhen you were first falling in love-- or in lust, as it were? Go backand listen to them. Youre boundto find some ideas hidden there.

Open-minded friends: Youveprobably got more than onefriend who is keen to talk aboutwhat happens in the bedroom,so take him or her into yourconfidence. You can get someideas from somebody who hastried them! Don't be afraid toshare your experiences with

them, too. Sometimes it takessharing to open up doors to evenmore sharing.

Phone Sex Operators: These arethe pros, and nobody can talkdirty better than they can. Theyhave heard it all, so calling themto ask for tips wont be shockingor even out of the ordinary. Mostof them will be more than happyto help you out. But keep inmind, they are making a goodliving, and can charge you severaldollars per minute.

Internet Research: Hop on theInternet and start looking.

Google is your friend! Stay awayfrom obvious porn sites andinstead focus on those placesthat specialize in dirty talk. Youfound this book, didn't you? Soyou were looking in the rightplace already!

As you find more ideas from otherplaces, you will start to come up witha few on your own. Creativity leads toeven more creativity, and that canresult in naughty thoughts you hadn'teven dreamed of before you startedyour search for the dirtiest talk. Most importantly, take the time to

reflect on the new language you arelearning. Focus on what aspects of itturn you on the most. Ask yourselfsome questions about talking dirty.

Why do those certain words turnyou on?

Which ones turn you off?

What do they trigger in you?

How can you change the dirtywords to fit your desires?

How can you take those wordsthat work and make them evenhotter?

Here's an idea to get you starteddown the road of making thoseexamples all your own: Add someadjectives! For instance, if you like the wordpussy maybe youll like hot, wetpussy even more. If you like the ideaof whispering I love your cock intoyour lovers ear, maybe you wouldenjoy I love your hard, throbbingcock even more. Try out different phrases. Some mightmake you laugh out loud, some mightmake you roll your eyes, buteventually you will stumble on one

that makes your heart pound. Thatswhen you know youve found awinner!

Setting the Stage

Now that you're thinking about dirtytalk phrases and the things you cando with them, let's take a step backand look at a few things you shoulddo before you introduce that naughtytalk. Good dirty talk is a whole-bodyexperience. Sure, your lips are sayingthe words, and your ears are hearingthem, but what about the rest of you?Great dirty talk should make yourheart pound, make your libido gocrazy, and make your partner long tohave you, again and again and again.

But no matter how good the dirtytalk, the setting makes a bigdifference. The hottest dirty talk willwork anywhere -- and we do meananywhere! -- but the best way to getthe full effect of your naughtiness isto make certain that the stage is setaround you. Like the star of a play,you need to have a good set design,and then the spotlight can shine onyou while everything else fades into anice background. Spicing up your love life should be anongoing event, not just a one-timething that you attempt to "see how it

goes." To that end, it's time to take along look at your love nest, at the wayyou present yourself, and decide whatyou want to change. Why are we focusing on yourbedroom? There are a few reasons. Ifyou're new to dirty talk, you mightwant to embark on your newadventure in a comfortable setting.And let's face it -- no matter howsexually adventurous you are, most ofyour sexual encounters will take placein a bedroom, on a bed. It just makes sense to feather the nestwhere you are most often, don't you

think?You might be one of those very luckypeople who decides that nothingneeds to change -- that the additionof great dirty talk is all you need torev up the sensual part of your life. Ifthat's the case, fantastic! But take alook at these ideas anyway, anddecide if any of them might fit in wellwith the good things you are alreadydoing. Here are a few ideas to spice up yourlove nest and set the stage forsomething more than the usual. Howmany of these can you try tonight?

Change the lighting. Changing thelighting in your bedroom doesn'tmean you have to go all-out.Simply toss a thin, red scarf overthe lamp shade for an intimateglow. You can also opt for specialcolored light bulbs that will havethe same effect. Anotherinteresting option is to string arow of white Christmas lightsthrough gauze netting andarrange it on the headboard ofthe bed. The lights will cast adelicious glow on your skin!

Invest in lingerie. The only thingbetter than a dirty-talking vixen

is a dirty-talking vixen in hotlingerie. Find out what yourpartner likes and aim to please!Go with something skimpy andsexy, or go for the "innocent"effect that can be so hot whiletalking dirty. This is very simple:Just wear a basic bra and panties,something simple and virginalwhite. Sometimes it's a real turn-on to hear filthy words comingout of a sweet, innocent-lookingmouth!

Smooth the bed. Satin sheets, silkshams, fluffy pillows, and evensoft down quilts are perfect for

dressing your bed. After all, thisis where the magic happens --this is the place that deserves tobe the most comfortable andaccommodating place in theentire house.

Mood music. The music youchoose should play in thebackground, but it should notoverpower your words. Stick withsomething very general. Younever know when you mightchoose to break out the hardcoredirty talk, and you don't want aCeline Dion power ballad playingbehind that kind of action, if you

catch the drift.

Easy-reach basket. Put thenecessities of lovemaking in thisbasket and place it by the bed.Lube, condoms (if you use them,of course), small props (such asyour vibrator, anal beads, etc.),and anything else that might behelpful when the mood is right.

Perfect perfume. You want yourpartner to remember themoment, so make sure to use thesense of smell. Our sense of smellis closely tied to emotionalresponse -- that's why you are socomforted when you smell the

scents of baking, or a fragrancethat reminds you of yourchildhood. Use that tendency toyour advantage by choosingperfume that screams "YOU" andspritzing it on the pillows,blankets, sheets, curtains -- andof course, on you. Do this wellbefore the moment you get it on,however, so the scent doesn'toverpower.

Don't forget the rest of the house!When you get into the serioushardcore dirty talk, you might chooseto explore other parts of the house tofulfill your fantasies. Take a look

around now and decide on things thatmight make that easier. Do you needa few extra pillows on the couch? Isthere a nice throw rug on the kitchenfloor to make things easier on theknees if you decide to get down anddirty right there? Remember, when the little details aretaken care of, you can relax -- and themore you relax, the more likely youwill be to rev up that dirty talk engine.

Putting Words in Your Mouth

By now you should have a good storeof ideas for talking dirty. You've setthe stage and made your love nestperfect for trying out something new.Now, its time to start setting theatmosphere. It isnt easy to jump into anything,much less into something so intimate.Its best to ease your way into it, andhere are some foolproof ways to getthe fire started.

If you havent talked dirty to yourpartner before, surprising him with it

might be more of a turn-off than aturn-on. Think about it: how wouldyou react if your lover suddenlywhipped out some dirty talk on youand you had no idea it was coming?You might have more questions thansexy thoughts. Thats why its important to take slowsteps toward what you really want.What happens outside the bedroomhas a huge impact on what happensbehind closed doors, so start byweaving subtle hints through yourday. Show him, through your actions and

comments, that youre interested indirty talk. Once you are in the mindsetof searching for opportunities to thinkdirty, those opportunities will seemendless. Be ready to jump on anychance you see to drop those subtlehints! Here are a few simple ideas:

When youre sitting in a movietheater, take his hand during thesex scenes. If you hear a dirtyword, squeeze his hand harder.Make a point of letting him knowit interests you.

When you see a sex scene on

television, make a commentabout it. A simple that lookshot will let him know you likedwhat you saw.

Mention a study you read abouton the Internet Honey, I readsomewhere that most couplesdont talk during sex. Do youthink we talk enough?

Leave an erotic story out on thebedside table where you know hewill see it.

If you overhear something thatcould be construed as slightlynaughty, give your partner a wink

and a grin. If he doesn't catch on,explain why you were so amused.

Use adjectives that describeeveryday things in a not-so-subtle way. For instance, if youare on the beach and you askhim to put lotion on your back,smile and comment on how"smooth" and "soft" and "wet"that lotion is. Use your mostsultry voice when you do so.

Try the more direct approach.Brush up against him everychance you get, and if you feelhis body respond, look him in theeye and say, "Hard day?"

Once you have his attention with yoursubtle moves, try something a bitmore obvious. Keep in mind that justas good dirty talk doesn't happenovernight, neither does setting themood! You can take days or evenweeks to prime your lover for thedirty talk you are both going to enjoy.Easing into it is key to making it oh-sogood. So consider moving from subtle tospelling it out: You know how a love note makes youmelt; why not do the same for him?Grab a set of post-it notes and write

messages meant for his eyes only. Put a note in his briefcase, on top ofimportant papers, where hes sure tosee it. Stick a note on the steeringwheel of his car and start his enginefirst thing in the morning. Tuck a littlenote into the pocket of his slacks, sohe can find it when hes reaching forchange at the coffee shop. What to say? Thats where your dirtytalk begins! Telling him you love him is good;telling him you want him is better.Tell him how sexy he looks in that

shirt. Something quick and sweet, likeMiss you, stud! will make him grin.Tell him he smells great, orcompliment him on the color of hiseyes. Men love to hear those sweetnothings just as much as women do,so give him a ton of them in yourhandwriting. Want to be a bit more adventurous?A note in his briefcase that simplysays Im not wearing panties justmight distract him all morning. Or anote saying Im buying sexy newpanties today will work well for thatguy with the lingerie fetish.

Make a list of the things that triggeryour mans lust you know what theyare! and write notes sure to pushhis buttons. Its always easier to write down dirtythoughts than it is to say them outloud, so make sure youre stillpracticing the naughty things youwant to say in bed. In the meantime,get more explicit with your notes.Perhaps write something about asexual act. For example, I would loveto get down on my knees in front ofyou right now paints a very clearpicture, and his mind can envisionwhat you would be doing down

there. If you dont have to worry aboutanyone intercepting his mail at work,send him an old-fashioned love letter.Pick out a naughty card at the storeand fill it with your own sweetnothings. Or if you are in the mood tobe a bit more tender, pull out yourstationary and tell him how much hemeans to you. As an added touch, be sure to give it alittle spray of his favorite perfumebefore you tuck it into the envelopeand send it on its way.

Once the notes get his mind racing,you can up the ante. Send him anemail with a sweet love note. Whenhe responds, send something a bitmore explicit. Let him lead the way,and you might be surprised by howfast he wants to go! Get steamier with every back-and-forth until youre writing things thatstretch the limits of your comfortzone. But remember, its easier to saythose naughty things on paper or on ascreen. So this is not the grand prize!Instead, consider it a test-run for howyour partner will react to the newlanguage youre going to introduce

into your sex life. If he responds witha positive attitude, you know youreon the right track. Phone calls work wonders, too. Subtledirty talk and teasing on the phoneallows you to get him riled up, but itstill keeps a physical barrier betweenthe two of you, making the intimacyof dirty talk much less daunting. Start by calling your partner during atime when you know he wont be ableto answer the phone. Leave a steamymessage on his voice mail. Evensomething as simple as I cant waituntil you get home will trip his

trigger as long as it is delivered inthe sultriest voice you can manage. Maybe describe what panties yourewearing. If you must attend to therealities of everyday life and call himwith a shopping list, slip somethinginteresting into it: Honey, we needeggs and milk from the storeandmaybe a bottle of wineand whileyoure at it, get one of those cans ofwhipped cream. Im going to use it onyou later.Even if its delivered in your normaltone of voice, thats going to makehim do a double take!

He will probably call you back whenhe gets your message, so be preparedto raise the naughtiness factor. If heasks you what got into you, tell himyou want him to get into youwhenwill he be home? Talk to him when hes sitting in traffic.Tell him what you love about him, orbetter yet, tell him what made youwant him the very first time you wentto bed together. Cashing in on thosesensual memories will get himthinking about having you in bed and thats exactly what you want onhis mind.

When he does get home, there arestill plenty of ways to ease into thedirty talk.Remember those erotic stories youlooked for while researching what tosay in bed? Now is a good time to goback to those. Find stories that teasewith your favorite fantasy, and makesure they have plenty of gooddescription in them. If it makes youhot when you read it to yourself, itslikely to be even hotter when youread it aloud. And what better way tobring all that intimacy into thebedroom with you, than to begin withsharing the words of a well-seasonedprofessional writer?

Maybe leave the book on the bedsidetable for a few days. Give him achance to notice it. If he mentions it,open the book to where you alreadyhave the bookmark, waiting for thismoment. Tell him what its about, andread a brief passage. Watch his reaction. If he likes it, keepgoing! You might blush like mad as you readthese things to your partner. After all,this is entirely new, and youre notsure how hes going to react. But keepin mind that men are very visual

creatures. They love to watch. Seeingyou blush as you read the story willtell him not only that youre shyabout it, but that youre excitedabout it, too. Keep reading, and let him watch youwhile you do it. If the story makes youhot, dont try to control yourbreathing, and dont try to play itcool. The whole point is turning upthe heat, and youre doing it withyour words. Remember: if it gets you all hot andbothered, its probably making himfeel sexy, too.

And who knows where it might lead? Youve sent the letters. Youve madethe calls. Youve left the subtle andmaybe not so subtle! hints all overthe place. Youve worked on yourdirty talk in front of the mirror, andmaybe youve even talked to a friendabout what to say to your lover. Now youre in bed with him, readingthat naughty story, or maybe creatinga story of your own. Youre well onyour way to making things hotter thanever!

Creative Images in Everyday Life

Now that youve crossed those firsthurdles in introducing dirty talk intothe bedroom, why not keep it up?Theres always room forimprovement! Talking dirty is a wholenew language, and like any newlanguage, it takes time to master theart. Dirty talk is all about words, andthose words are all about creatingimages in your lovers mind. Thebedroom isnt the only place whereyou think about sex, so why should itbe the only place you talk dirty?

Try it somewhere else, using whatyouve got to work with, and you canlight the sensual fire withoutremoving a stitch of clothing. Naughty thoughts can be kindled inthe most unlikely or mundane places.What about the center of your home,for example your kitchen? Thekitchen holds a wealth of possibilitiesfor getting your mind in sexy gear.Perhaps show him, with your actionsand your words, where your mindgoes when making dinner. Here's anexample:

Catch his eye and gently stroke thecucumber you plan to cut into hissalad. Got a tomato? Make a point ofpicking up a big chunk and taking abite, letting the juice drip onto yourlips, then suck it off. Maybe this is agood time to tell him how juicy andtasty and rich it is. Perhaps licking that dollop of creamfrom your thumb and giving him awink will get his attention. It tastesso sweet almost as sweet as you,will get his mind going in the samedirection as yours! Try it while working out in the yard. If

hes digging a hole to plant those newtrees in the backyard, make acomment on how deep the holeneeds to be. Its supposed to beabout twelve inches, right? Then turnyour innocent comment intosomething raunchy. You know I like itdeep. When he looks up at you in surprise,give him a wink and go on about yourbusiness!Shopping at the local departmentstore holds endless possibility forthinking naughty thoughts. Anythingshaped like a penis is fair game forfondling. The food aisles have one

decadent item after another. Even thekitchen utensils can get things revvedup. Grab a spatula from the rack andslap it against your hand. This wouldmake a great mark on my ass, youmight whisper in his ear. Murmur about how naughty thingscould happen in a place like this. Gethis mind moving, and soon he will bethe one saying things to make youblush! What else works? Here are a fewscenarios and suggestions. What elsecan you think of to make them dirty?

Taking a breather in a quietcorner at the family reunion.What better time to makenaughty innuendo? He will besurprised, and more than likely,wont be able to wait untilbedtime.

At a friend's party. Wheneveryone is in the middle oftalking about their lives, leanover to your lover and quietlywhisper that you forgot to put onany panties. Then give him amega-watt smile!

Watching a play in a darkenedtheater. Whisper words into his

ear about the characters onstage.Make them entirelyinappropriate.

Driving to an appointmenttogether. You can lube his engineby talking about engines. Wantto get really creative? Point outgood spots to make love alongthe side of the road.

Talking during a long, leisurelylunch. Take your time and enjoyyour food, especially the dessert.Let him watch you eat, and makesure your gestures speak to thesensuality of the food. When youeat a piece of that chocolate

cake, lick off the tiny crumbs.When you take a drink of yourwater, swallow slowly whilelooking into his eyes.

At the movies in a row all byyourselves! During the sexscenes, whisper into his ear howmuch you would love to be doingthat right now. Or remind him ofthe days when you used to makeout in the theater in the backrowhe might want to give it ashot again.

Riding in an elevator. You canmake references to going downor something on the rise.

While on an airplane. C'mon, thisone is too easy! Everybody wantsto join the mile-high club, right?Ask him if he's flexible enough toget it on in the bathroom, andchallenge him to find out.

Surfing online. Go to a naughtysex shop site and start clicking.Ask your partner what he thinksof thisor thatand that one,too!

Standing together in a sea ofbodies at a concert. What bettertime to rub against him andwhisper naughty things into hisear? After all, youre surrounded

by lots of people who are doingthe exact same thing.

A midnight walk to the park. Thepossibilities for sex in a park areendless. Sit down on the picnictable and start naming off theideas in your head. You mightfind yourself spouting naughtywords while you get busy on themerry-go-round!

Dirty talk doesnt always have to behard-core. Start out slow and easy,with innuendo rather than words thatmake you blush. The more heresponds to your teasing comments,

the braver you will become. By thetime you're comfortable withinnuendo, he will be ready to moveon to the more serious dirty talk --and that exactly what you want himto do, isn't it?

Fine-Tuning Your Bedroom Talk

Youve built intimacy outside thebedroom, and youve made yourthoughts on dirty talk very clear bynow. Youve gotten creative with lovenotes and youve made some sexyphone calls. You've both been sweptaway by the teasing and innuendofrom time to time, and now you areboth walking with a little bounce inyour step. Youve even tried readingerotica to him, and succeeded ingetting you both turned on with thewords.But those were someone elses words.Now its time to start creating your

own. Don't know where to begin? You'renot alone. But by this point, youshould have a pretty good idea ofwhat works for your partner. Betteryet, you have a good idea of whatworks for you. You know what turnsyou on, and you know what works forboth of you. Keep that in mind as youdecide what you're going to say toyour partner to break that dirty talkice. Start with descriptions of his body.Remember, it doesnt have to behard-core! Here are a few suggestions

on where to begin:

Tell him how strong he is.

Tell him how much it turns youon when you look at his musculararms, or his trim waist, or hislong, sexy legs.

Does he have a hairy chest? Tellhim how much you like to tangleyour fingers in it.

Does he have long hair? Tell himhow much you love to watch itfall around his face when hemakes love to you.

Does he have broad shoulders?

Describe how it feels to holdonto them while hes movingabove you, how he makes youfeel safe and secure, or how hissize makes you feel submissive.

Tell him about looking down athim when youre on top, andhow much you love to see thepleasure in his eyes.

You should have no problem findingthose things you love about yourlover's body. There's a reason youlove to go to bed with him, and areason you want to make your sex lifeeven hotter -- you've got one hell of aguy! So tell him that, and everything

else that comes to mind about howwonderful he is. Get a little more explicit as thingsheat up. Now is when you can pointout more intimate things about him,and use them to fuel your dirty talk.Here are a few more explicitsuggestions:

Tell him how much you love tofeel him inside you.

Moan about how thick he is, orhow long, or how he fits you justright.

Tell him how much you love it

when he works magic with hisfingers between your legs, overyour nipples, anywhere on yourbody.

Tell him how hard your nipplesare.

Ask him if he can feel how wetyou are.

Remind him that he's the oneyou've been fantasizing about allday.

Ask him to talk to you, too. Whatdoes he like to feel when hes in bedwith you? What is his favoriteposition? What does he like to see

you do? What is his ultimate fantasy?What was his favorite moment out ofall the times you have made love?What made it so special? Prompt hima bit if hes shy, and he will start toreciprocate with his own thoughts. If hes really into talking dirty with youby now, this is when things could startto get a bit more hard-core. What fun! Here are a few questions to get youstarted. Whisper them into his ear atthe appropriate time and let naturetake its course:

Do you like it when I get on top?

Do you ever think about beingtied up?

Would you rather do it with thelights on or off?

Tell me why you like it that way.

Whats the one thing weve nevertried that you really want to do?

What do you want me to do?

Whats your favorite thing to doto me?

When do you come harder?When youre standing up, orsitting up, or lying down?

Do you like it when I do this?

What do you want me to weartonight?

Another surefire way to start the dirtytalk is to describe what hes doing toyou. If he slips his hand between yourlegs, thats a good time to whisperhow much you like it. I love it whenyou touch me there is good, but Ilove it when you touch my pussymight be better. Gauge his reactionsto your words, and adjust themaccordingly.If pussy turns him on and youre notopposed to the sound of it, try usingcunt instead. If that gets him going,

use it again, only with more emphasis.Now is the time to use your newvocabulary! Add a bit more. Perhaps he loves tohear the word "cunt," and maybe youlike it, too. So try something todescribe it a bit more. "Tight cunt" or"wet cunt" or "slippery cunt" might begood things to try. Then put it into asentence. "I love it when you touchmy hot, wet cunt." Describe what youre doing to him,too. Remember, creating images iswhat dirty talk does best, and youwant him to see the fantasy before

you make it a reality. Im going totaste you is a good way to let himknow youre going to perform oral.Im going to go down on you isbetter. Im going to suck your cock iseven better than that.Is he hard? Is he throbbing? Im goingto suck your hard, throbbing cock isthe blunt, honest truth. Then do it! The fantasy is already inhis head, and feeling you do exactlywhat you said you would is going tobe a huge turn-on. Besides that, thenext time you talk dirty to him, he willremember that you did exactly whatyou said you would -- and that will

fuel his fantasies the next time you'retalking to him with that naughtymouth of yours.Most of all, be confident. You alreadyknow he likes it when you do certainthings. Maybe he loves the way yougo down on him. You dont have toask him if he likes it you alreadyknow he does. You like the way I suckyour dick, dont you? can be ataunting challenge. Yeah, I know youlike that. What other things might you say toturn him on even more?

Taking it Further: Phone Sex If you have ever been in a situationwhere your lover was a thousandmiles away from you -- or even justdown the street -- and you were toohorny to think straight, you can graspthe appeal of phone sex. Having sexon the phone is the original form ofdirty talk!People have been having phone sexfor as long as the phone has existed.In the early days, when phone lineswere called "party lines" and severalpeople could listen in at once, it wasprobably a bit daunting to attemptphone sex. But you can bet someone,

at some point, gave it a shot -- andyou can bet that was one blushingoperator who had the pleasure oflistening in! Flash forward to around 1980, whensomeone realized they could makemoney through phone sex. The firstphone sex hotlines went live. All ittook was a phone call and a creditcard number, and phone sex wasyours for the taking. In the late 1980s,the 900-number was introduced, andphone sex became a quite popularhobby for some. With 900 numbers, itwas easier than ever to explorefetishes or find the kind of dirty talk

you desired, all with the simple touchof a button. The phone sex industry did a boomingbusiness, and continues to do sotoday, despite the advent of theinternet and free calling plans tovirtually anywhere in the world. Nowthat phone sex has become moremainstream and accepted, thethought of someone having it isn't asshocking as it once was. Phone sex used to be somethingshameful, a kind of sex that was paidfor, only one step above prostitution.When it was used in conjunction with

a long distance relationship, it waskept very quiet, in hopes of notsullying the reputations of those whohad given in to their desires. But nowthat long distance relationships arefostered by the internet and travel forbusiness has become almost thenorm, phone sex has become anaccepted and even expected act forthose who cannot be together in thephysical sense.Have you ever tried phone sex? If youhaven't, now is the time! As we saidearlier, phone sex is the original formof dirty talk. You can't use the motionof your body to seduce your lover,and you can't give them pleasure by

touching them. All you have are yourwords and those delicious soundsthat come when you're turned on. Butwhen it comes to phone sex, that ismore than enough to make it work forboth of you. Don't know how to get started? Manypeople dont. You might think theidea of phone sex is all well and good,but when you do get your partner onthe phone, you might be so tongue-tied that you can't think of what tosay, much less how to say it.Here are a few tips to make those firstmoments easier. After that, thingsshould just happen naturally.

Get started before you call. Lookat porn, read erotica, play withyour vibrator -- do whatever youusually do to get all hot andbothered when you are alone.When you are on the edge ofbreathless, pick up the phone.

Choose your time. If you reallywant phone sex but you knowyour partner is in a meeting andthey simply cannot get out, youmight be out of luck at themoment. Try to plan your phonesex for a time when you knowyour lover will be alone, or at

least in a place where they canlisten to you without beinginterrupted.

Set the mood. Phone sex is a veryreal kind of sex. So prepare for itjust as you would prepare tomeet your lover at the door!Wear the sexiest lingerie,something that makes you feellike a queen. Light a candle, turndown the covers, and have yoursexy toys ready to help you out.

Charge it up. It might sound like avery simple thing, but it'simportant. Charge your phonebefore you make that call! There

is nothing more frustrating thatbeing right on the edge of a goodorgasm and hearing thatannoying "low battery" beep.While you're at it, turn off yourcall waiting. That's a beepingsound you don't want to heareither!

Be ready to give. What if you callyour partner while they aresitting in traffic? They might notbe able to participate physically,but they can certainly listen toyou as you do your thingyounaughty, naughty dirty talker!

Speak in a low, sultry growl. Your

voice can sound even sexier onthe phone than it does inperson! If you pitch your voice abit lower, you will sound moreseductive, and your phone sexpartner will eat it up.

Push his hot buttons. You knowwhat turns your lover on, socapitalize on it. Now is the timeto spin a fantasy that will paint avivid picture in their head. Talkyour way through it, from theopening tease to the closingclimax.

Tell him what to do. Phone sexcan be a great time to order your

partner around, and who doesn'tlove having the pressure off for awhile? All your lover has to do isfollow your suggestions until theyget off. Very few things beat thefeeling of that, don't you think?

Get hardcore. Crude, raunchywords are the best when it comesto phone sex. If you are the shytype, it might seem as thoughyou can't get past that barrierthat keeps you tongue-tied, butphone sex might surprise you.

Get your own. Phone sex is aboutsharing fantasies and getting offto them -- but it doesn't mean it's

all about him. It can be all aboutyou, too! Touch yourself whileyou talk dirty to your partnerover the phone. Let yourselfcome -- and let your partner hearit. There are few things sexierthan the sound of someonereaching the ultimate pleasure,and your lover will be happy toshare that moment with you.

Phone sex is great for those who feela bit inhibited about their dirty talk. Ifyou aren't quite ready to try it in aface-to-face situation, phone sex givesyou the perfect opportunity. If you getuncomfortable, you can stop the

phone sex abruptly, and you don'thave to be bashful about it. If youwant to try out something extraraunchy, you can do it without lettingyour lover see you blush and tremble. If you need to ease into things, phonesex offers a level of comfort that youcan't find when the barriers are downand that person is standing right infront of you. Those who are in long-distancerelationships, and especially thosewho have phone sex before they metin person, often have a much easiertime with getting their sex life in tune

with one another. Why? They havealready touched on the intimacy thatphone sex provides. They alreadyknow what turns the other person on,and they have had time to explorefantasies, dreams, and desiresthrough a non-threatening medium. For those who are able to see eachother every day, phone sex adds anew dimension to their lovemaking.The tease can be drawn out over thespan of the entire day, not just fromthe moment he walks in the doorafter a hard day at work. A quickieduring the noon hour, with the doorclosed and locked, makes phone sex

quite an appealing option for both ofyou! When you think of phone sex, youprobably think of having your partneron the phone with you while you aredoing naughty things and spinningthose fantasy tales, but there are afew other dimensions to phone sexyou might want to consider. If you call and your partner doesntanswer the phone, what do you do?You leave a dirty message! It can besomething very simple, just a basic "Iwant you now" kind of tone, one thatwill get his attention and make him

smile. Or it could be something much moreraunchy. If you're really brave, youcould masturbate to the point oforgasm, and then call your partnerand leave the sounds of your climaxon voicemail. It helps if you have anidea of how long the voicemail willrecord -- some will handle only thirtyseconds, while others handle up tofive minutes or even more, dependingupon their phone service. Be sure toend the call with a giggle and a kissbefore hanging up the phone. But talking on the phone is not the

only form of phone sex. There isanother, more modern formand it'snot just for teenagers anymore!

Make it Quick! Dirty Texting Don't have the time or the inclinationto talk on the phone when you'refeeling naughty? Dirty texting is all therage, and for good reason. Dirtytexting can be done anywhere,anytime, without much risk of anyonefinding out what you are doing.Certainly no one can overhear youwhen you're texting! Also known as "sexting" (acombination of the words "sex" and"text"), the trend toward using phonetext to get naughty with your partnerstarted many years ago. Teenagers

were the first to realize they couldsend naughty text messages, and aslong as they kept their phone privateor deleted the messages when theywere done, no one was the wiser.After all, most phone services do trackhow many text messages you send,but they don't track what you say! But now the trend has widened toinclude everyone, even older adults.According to a recent study by theAARP, baby boomers love technology -- and they are taking advantage ofsexting simply because it's downrightfun. And of course, most cell phonesthese days have the ability for texting,

so it's very simple for anyone to do. But where do you begin? Sextingmight be catching on like wildfire, butfor those who haven't dealt with itbefore, knowing what to say and howto say it can be rather daunting. Hereare a few tips:

Start out very simple. In fact,start out with basic conversation.Ask how their day was. Tell themyou are thinking about them. Askwhat they might like to do whenyou are together again. Tell themthat you want them. Anythingshort and sweet, something to

break the ice and become a bitmore intimate.

When you have warmed up totexting with your partner, get abit more suggestive. "I can't waitto see you" is a good one, and sois "I miss having you in our bed."Gauge the response you get byhow enthusiastic it seems. If theyrespond in kind, you're beinginvited -- and even encouraged! -- to keep the conversationmoving into more naughtyterritory.

Keep the texts short. Youprobably have a lot to say, but

you don't have much room inwhich to say it. The shorter yourtexts are, the less time you spendtyping -- and that means you hitthe send button faster. The textsshow up on your partner's phoneat regular intervals, instead ofwith long pauses between eachone. This helps keep the fire hot,especially when you're in themiddle of a good fantasy.

If they ask for more, start tellingthem about your latest fantasy.Start out easy, with soft andtender words, then move intothe raunchier set when it is clear

your partner is wantingsomething more.

Want to spice things up andsimply surprise your partner intoa smile? Send a raunchy text rightoff the bat. This is especiallyeffective if you are the shy typeand have trouble easing intodirty talk with your lover. Theywill be very pleasantly surprisedby your naughty foray into thetexting world!

When you are in the mood to textdirty messages to your partner, don'thesitate to use the common textingabbreviations, such as "U" for you or

"c" for see. This will make things gofaster, and the dirty talk will have thesame effect! If you want to spice up the dirtytexting even further, you can alwayssend photos of yourself, taken withyour phone. Simply use the camera,then click on the options feature andhit "send." Be sure you are sending thephotograph to the right person, andbe sure this is a person you can trust.Often explicit photos wind up beingpassed around or shared with friends,and might even wind up on the

internet, where anyone can see you ina compromising position. So have fun,but be careful! Keep in mind a bit of housekeeping,however. Remember that when youreceive or send a text, it is saved onyour phone. If your phone is used bysomeone else, even in the mostinnocent manner, they might hit abutton that allows them to see yourphotos or text messages. If this is aconcern for you, be sure to delete themessages and photos you have sentand received. If you want to savethem, look into how you candownload information from your

phone to your computer, and putthem on a disk or your hard drivebefore you delete them. Clearing out your texts and picturesperiodically is a good idea anyway. Ifyou lost your phone and it was foundby an unscrupulous character, all ofyour information could wind up onthe internet -- or those naughtypictures could be sent to every personin your address book. It sounds like anightmare, but it has happenedbefore, and it will probably happenagain. Just don't let it happen to you! Now that the housekeeping is out of

the way, start planning your first dirtytalk text! What will you say? How willyou say it? What fantasy will you spinfor your partner? Sometimes theanticipation and planning is just asgood as the sexting itself!

Playing Online: Cybersex and Email Phone sex and texting are not theonly routes to a good dirty talk time.Have you ever teased your partnerthrough a naughty email flirtation? Email messages back and forth canspin a tale that lasts for months.Email forces you to slow down andtake your time in writing what youwant to say. Much like writing a loveletter with pen and paper, email is theslower version of the texting crazeand it can be just as powerful. When you are talking dirty though

email, it's best to take it slow at firstand test the waters. Your emailpartner might be at work, or in asituation where naughty emails couldbe intercepted by someone whoshouldn't see them. In that case,taking it slow is the prudent way togo. Trust your partner to lead you intothe dirty talk themselves. If they wantmore, they can invite you to say more.If they tell you they are the only onewho reads that email account, forinstance, you know that you can saywhatever you like! If you are talking toyour partner and you know you're

dealing with a work email, maybe youcan get away with a tease or two, butlittle more than that. It all depends on the situation, butyou should always be certain of thesituation before you jump into thenaughtiest bits! Once you know the situation, let yourdirty talk begin! Sexy emails are a great way to livenup the day and keep your partnerthinking about you while he's away.You can start very simply and remindthem of what you did together last

night. Or you can talk aboutanticipation, and say that you can'twait until they get back so you can doit all again! If you want to go further, considerwriting an erotic story in a series ofemails. You can make it all about yourpartner. Create a fantasy about thetwo of you and weave it together withdirty words, then send the email andwait for a response. If your responseis "give me more," then you're in luck. If the response is another part of yourerotic story, one that your partner haswritten, then you're in even better

luck! Writing an erotic story back andforth is one of the hottest ways to getthe sexy emails moving. If you want to add some spice to youremails, attach pictures of yourselfdoing naughty things. Or simply sendan email that says, "Can you guesswhat I'm doing right now?" and thenlaunch into a vivid description of whatyour partner would see if they werethere with you. Another popular form of dirty talkhappens over instant messengerservices or in chat rooms. "Cybersex,"sometimes simply known as "cyber," is

a great way to talk to someone overthe computer when you're in themood for something naughty. Instantmessenger services bring the power ofdirty talk right to your fingertips --literally! -- and allow you to form a bitof a deeper bond than that of a chatroom flirtation. This is an excellent way to try outyour new dirty talk and see the kindof reaction you get. It works especiallywell if you have a particular fetish orfantasy that you might be worriedabout sharing with a partner.Consider it a test drive!

The anonymity of chat rooms makes iteasy to put your thoughts and feelingsout there and get an honest responsein return. After all, you don't knowthese people, and they don't knowyou. If you say something that shocksthem, they can tell you without fearof hurting your feelings, or vice versa. Whether you are playing withcybersex in a chat room or on yourinstant messenger program, there area few rules of etiquette that apply:

Just watch at first. When you firstenter a chat room, it might betempting to jump into the fray.

Resist the urge! Watch for awhile. Eventually you will seesomeone whose comments arewitty enough or interestingenough to keep your attention.Then you can jump in and makecomments in the currentconversation that are directedtoward that person. Or you cango the more direct route and askto speak to them privately.

Sexy chats might happen in openchat rooms, but if you want toget to the serious action, take itprivate. Ask the person you areinterested in if they would like to

embark on a private chat. Thenyou can see where that cyberroad leads!

Don't push for any information atall. Age, sex, and location are thebasics that most people ask for ina chat room. Be honest aboutyour sex -- are you male orfemale? You can be vague onyour age and your location,unless you are looking to takeyour cyber chats to "real life" atsome point in the future. Ifyou're just playing and brushingup on your dirty talk, you needn'tbother with specifics. Keep in

mind that the person you aretalking to doesn't owe you anydetails, either, so don't ask forthem.

When you get into dirty talk inyour chats, keep in mind thesame rules as with texting. Keepthe messages short and sweet, inorder to keep them comingquickly. You are essentiallywriting an erotic story in one-lineincrements, so keep in mind theflow of the action. You want tobuild up to a crescendo!

Don't come and run. If you are soturned on by the dirty talk on the

screen that your body simplycan't hold back, good for you!But dont get yours and then callit a night. There is someone atthe other end of that modem,and they are waiting for the samecourtesy.

On the other hand, if you areworried that the person you arecybering with will decide to cutand run themselves, get yoursfirst! Talk through the sessionwith them, and encourage themto respond to you, instead of justspinning your tale and helpingthem get off. The best cyber

sessions are those when you areboth participating and you bothget off at about the same time.

When the cyber session is over,remember to thank them for a greattime. If you are on instant messenger,it's possible you could talk to themagain, so say goodbye with grace. Ifyou are in a chat room andcompletely anonymous, say goodnightbefore you log off anyway -- it's justthe polite thing to do. And of course, if you were having acyber session with your lover whilethey were far away from you, blowthem a virtual kiss and tell them that

you can't wait until they get home, soyou can whisper all that dirty talkright into their ear -- and then followup on your naughty promises!

Dirty Talk in Public Phone sex, texting, cybersex, emailthese are all things that keep the dirtytalk just between you and yourpartner. But what about thatexhibitionist side of you, the one thatscreams how badly you want yourpartner, and it doesn't matter where?You could be in a public park, a trainstation, a discount store, the bank, oreven at the family picnic. Maybeyou've had one too many at theChristmas party, or perhaps you'reready to get it on at the pool.Whatever the case may be, you're inthe mood to talk dirty -- and you're in

public. No problem! The key to talking dirty in public ismake sure nobody knows exactly whatyou are saying. They might suspect,sure, but who cares? If they don'tknow for sure, they can't call you outon it! If you can manage to get yourpartner hot and horny while you arein a public setting, you're bound tohave some fantastic action when youdo get to a secluded and private area. Here are a few tips to start talkingdirty in public:

Whisper it. Even the mostraunchy, wild dirty talk can besaid with a whisper. Say it with asly smile and let your lips brushyour lover's ear as you tell themwhat you want to do to themlater. Or what you want them todo to YOU. Even if it's a short andsweet comment, something alongthe lines of "I want to fuck you,"it's enough to get the ball rolling.

Show it. Say it with your eyes. Letyour partner know that you wantthem by the way you look atthem. Good dirty talk can include

more than just words! Make apoint of looking at your lover'stight, cute ass with lust in youreyes. Make sure you get caughtdoing it! If you want to getstraight to the point, drop youreyes to his crotch, linger there awhile, and then look back into hiseyes. Any man worth his salt willunderstand exactly what thatlook means!

Slip away. Take the time to hideout for a moment and indulge ina little bit of desire. Perhaps youcan find a secluded hallway andcop a feel. Maybe you can steal a

deep French kiss while you areheaded for the kitchen to refreshyour drink. When you do slipaway, make sure to put yourfeelings into words. Make themvery clear and to the point. "Iwant to suck you off on thekitchen table" is a good way toraise your lover's eyebrows!

Let your body do the talking.When you're standing close,brush your breasts against hisback. Let your hips touch. Putyour arm around him. Slip yourhand down to an inappropriateplace now and then, but only for

a moment, before anyone elsecan catch on to what thatnaughty hand is doing. Lean overand use your dirty words tocomplete the mental picture.

Innuendo galore! One of thecoolest parts about dirty talk inpublic is that moment whensomeone says somethingperfectly innocentbut you hearit in an entirely naughty way.Dirty thoughts build, one afteranother. The more dirty yourthoughts are, the more likely youare to see the most innocentcomments as raunchy

possibilities. For instance, ifsomeone says it's hot outside,you can lean over to your partnerand say, "Not as hot as it is goingto be later!" The double meaningwill not be lost on them, andsoon you will be laughing at thebest "innocent" comments -- andgetting turned on at the sametime.

Make dirty talk in public a game thetwo of you play together. Tell yourpartner at the start of the eveningthat you will be talking dirty to himthe entire time, and ask him to counthow many dirty talk comments he can

catch. Then slip in those naughtyinnuendos every chance you get! Here are a few ideas to help get thatnaughty innuendo started:

While at a Fourth of Julycelebration, talk about how wellthose fireworks are "shooting"into the air. Tell him how muchyou like the sound of the"cannon" and ask him if he thinksthey are going to "blow" evenbigger for the "climax."

When at the beach, mention howthat lotion feels "warm and thickand creamy" like something else

you can think ofand when yousee someone on a surfboard,point out that you would like tobe riding something hard, too.Maybe the thought of thatsomething hard it making you aswet as an ocean!

At a friend's party? Talk abouthow you love the taste of thosejello "shooters" and casuallypoint out that the bathroom ismore than big enough for two. Ifyou're in a very adventurousmood and you know your partneris into something a bit more"interesting," play a game of

talking about which person atyour friend's party would be theloudest in bed, or which one youwould like to invite for athreesome.

Speaking of threesomes and othernaughty tidbits

Those Whoa! Moments

Weve talked about how dirty talkcreates images in the mind, picturesthat serve to turn your partner on.Talking about what youre doing inbed, or asking him what he wants youto do, opens the door to deeperdiscussion. People do a lot of things in the heatof passion that they wouldntnormally do, and youll quickly findthat they say things they normallywouldnt say, too. One fantasy leadsto another, and another, and soonyou might find yourself exploring

territory you never would haveotherwise, had you not learned thisnew dirty language. Comments might be made in the heatof passion that surprise you, makeyou uncomfortable, or even shockyou. You might hear things that youhad never anticipated, and you mightnot know how to react. But before you get upset, considerthis: when you're turned on beyondbelief, are you really thinking aboutwhat comes out of your mouth? Areyou even aware of the little moansand sighs that you can't seem to help?

It's the same with a vivid fantasy -- ifit's in your head, it's probably going tobe said at some point, no matter howraunchy or taboo it is. That's one of the cool things aboutmind-blowing sex: it completelydestroys the filter that usually governsyour mouth! If your partner does feel free to saythings to you that youve never heardbefore, try to contain your shock atwhat is being said. Remember: yourehearing these things because youvebuilt up the intimacy between the twoof you, and sharing these fantasies

takes a huge measure of trust. If he didnt trust you, you wouldnt behearing his innermost thoughts andsecrets! The fact that he has just toldyou something so intimate about hisdesires speaks volumes about how hefeels about you. So be grateful that hecan say such things! Granted, some of those fantasies canbe gasp-inducing. It might besomething as simple as asking you towear high-heeled boots and fishnetsin bed, or it might be something asjaw-dropping as mentioning he wouldlove to see you with another woman

or another man! The images your good dirty talk paintsin his head might swell into imagesthat you never imagined would bethere. This is a normal progression,and though you might be surprised atfirst, it's important to remember thatthis heightened intimacy is a goodthing.Try not to get offended by thefantasies he relates, but dont takethem as the gospel, either. Studiesshow that ninety percent of fantasiesare just that fantasy. They are thingsthat turn you on when you thinkabout them, but that you might not

do in real life, given the opportunity. Many people talk about what theywould like to do, or what they mighttry one day, but few ever reallypursue it. The fantasy is usuallyenough. Sharing those fantasies canlead to great sex between the two ofyou, but it doesnt necessarily meanhe wants to have that great sex withthree or four or more! If youre into dirty talk, youre alreadypretty open-minded. Keep that openmind when youre in the heat ofpassion and discussing fantasies. Whoknows? You might get into the

scenario and be so turned on, itbecomes a fantasy of yours, too! But when the bedroom games areover and its just the two of you in theafterglow, you might start to wonderabout the things that came out of hismouth. Did he really mention howgood it would be to see you withanother man? Is he really into havingtwo women in bed with him? And Lord have mercy, did he reallymean it when he said he wanted tovisit a gay strip club? You might hear some wild things

when the inhibitions are unleashed.Here are some possibilities. Howwould you feel if you hear a few ofthem?

I want to see you in bed withanother man.

I want to see you in bed withanother woman.

I want to let my best friend havea go at you.

I want you to do me like mycousin did me.

I would love to be tied up andspanked.

I want you to go to a strip cluband watch you get a lap dance.

I want you to watch me get a lapdance.

I want to try smoking weed whilewe get it on.

I want you to whip me.

I want to meet a stranger in ahotel room and have sex.

I want to dress up in yourclothes.

I want to experiment withwomen and men.

I want to be fucked up the asswith a strap-on.

I want to spank you and makeyou call me Daddy.

I want you to bark like a dogwhile I fuck you.

I want to see you dress up inleather. (Or a French maid outfit,or hooker heels, etc.)

I want to make you my sex slave.

Sowhat do you think? Do any ofthose suggestions make you cringe?Do any of them turn you on? Didsome of them make you want to stop

reading? These are actually pretty tamecompared to the vast fantasy worldsin our heads. Your man might have avery specific fantasy that takes a longtime to explain. Or it might besomething youve never heard ofbefore. Again, dont judge it, anddont try to turn him off to what hesjust told you. Remember the issue oftrust, and how much it took for him tosay those things to you. Consider it a compliment! Keep in mind: Your partner probably

had a sexual past before you camealong, and you might have beenaround the block a few times, too.Either way, just because he says itdoesnt mean he wants to do it, andjust because he mentioned it doesntmean hes already been down thatroad. You can take those fantasies for whatthey are dirty talk between twopeople in a passionate moment oryou can ask further questions. But before you do that, keep in mindyour own fantasies. What have yousaid in the heat of passion that you

would never really do? Researchshows that many women fantasizeabout being taken by more than oneman, but most of them would neveractually try it. Research also showsthat rape is a topic of many womensfantasies, but none of them wouldever really want it to happen! What happens in our heads, in ourmost private thoughts, is often notsomething that meshes with our reallife. Thats why its called a fantasy. If you are still determined to get tothe bottom of his fantasies, bewarned: Do not ask if you dont want

to know! If you would prefer not toknow about your partners sexualpast, dont ask him if certain fantasiesreally happened. He might tell you thetruth, and if you have any jealousy atall, you might turn green with envyand red with anger. Or he might lie toyou, which breaks down the intimacyyouve built, and makes him morelikely to keep his thoughts to himselffrom here on out. But if youre entirely confident in yourrelationship and ready to be asadventurous as he is, by all means,discuss every fantasy that comes tomind. Theres nothing hotter than

knowing what a devious sexual mindyour partner has, and opening thatdoor can lead to some intensediscussion and who knows? One ofthose "whoa" moments just mightlead to some intense encounters younever dreamed you would pursue!

Naughty Role-playing Tips and Tricks The world of roleplaying is thecornerstone of dirty talk. Talking dirtyoften means telling a tale for yourlover, slowly offering a fantasy inwords, one that will turn them on bythe images you paint in their mind.Roleplaying takes that idea a stepfurther and turns that fantasy intoreality -- or as close to reality as it canget. By now you are well into the world ofdirty talk, and your lover has probablyshared a thing or two about hisfantasies and what he would love to

do, if the opportunity ever arose. Ifthose fantasies turn you on too, youcould consider making them a realitywith roleplaying. Some fantasies are so common thatthere are whole guidebooks,costumes, and even communitiesdedicated to the pursuit of them.Some of the roleplaying communitiesand activities might be far out of yourcomfort zone, or you might find thatsomething you never thought wouldappeal to you actually makes you feelrather comfortable.That's one of the best things aboutroleplaying: you don't know if you like

it until you try it, but if you DO like it,you like it quite a lot! Here are a few naughty roleplayingscenarios. Has your partner talkedabout any of these? Do any of themlight up the fire for you?

A strict headmaster is seduced bya young student.

A virgin man gets deflowered bya prostitute.

An exacting piano teacherpunishes a student for notpracticing.

A pirate kidnaps a fair maidenand has his way with her.

The bad boy who was justreleased from prison findshimself attracted to his paroleofficer.

The inmate in the prison has anaffair with the warden.

A married woman meetssomeone else for sex in a hotel.

A happy mother has sex withSanta Claus.

The doctor has his way with apatient.

The naughty nurse goes aboveand beyond the call of duty.

The personal trainer gets in someovertime.

The mechanic and the woman indistress work out a unique formof payment.

Meeting a stranger over theinternet turns into a public sexencounter.

An unscrupulous directorblackmails a porn star for sexualfavors.

A woman is passed around

between half a dozen men.

A man is tied down to the bedand forced to perform for variouswomen.

A trainer teaches his "pony" howto perform for him.

Two anonymous strangers neverspeak or see each other's faces,but they have a naughty analsession while they are together.

The maid offers services to theman of the house.

The babysitter takes care of morethan just the babysitting.

The librarian hushes up the loudpatron in a most unique way.

The roleplaying ideas can beabsolutely endless. Even within oneparticular fantasy, there could bedozens of variations, each of themworthy of a shot for your roleplayinghall of fame. You can try everyroleplaying scenario you can think ofand still not scratch the surface ofwhat is possible! But to begin your venture intoroleplaying, choose something simpleto do. Something that doesn't needmany props is always a good bet. Ifyou are playing the librarian and

patron, a simple suit and a pair ofglasses, with your hair pulled up in abun, will suit just fine. You shouldhave a bookshelf nearby, filled withbooks, and plenty of opportunity tomake noise in a hushed room. Youshould also have a severe attitude togo along with the librarian theme. If you are being anonymous strangers,the biggest challenge will be finding away to stay "anonymous" whilehaving sex. Perhaps you pretend tomeet in a hotel room after getting iton over the internet? One could bewaiting for the other, and the actioncould happen doggie-style. But of

course, that is only one small idea outof the dozens that you could actuallytry! Look on the internet or at a sex toyshop to find the proper roleplayingclothes if your situation calls for it. AFrench maid's outfit is easy to find,and so is a pirate. Others might bemore difficult or costly. If you areplaying a stripper, you might want togo with the traditional stripper heelsand the pole, of course -- and thosethings can take both time and money.It all depends on how far you reallywant to go with your roleplayinggames.

Just as important as the costumes andattitude is the dirty talk! Tailor yourdirty talk to fit the situation you areportraying. For instance, a librarianwould be stuffy and correct until thepassion took over, and then hermouth might be as filthy as that of asailor. The prisoner would be naughty,while the warden would try to seethings in a more diplomatic fashion,and perhaps even mete out apunishment if a curse word wereused.Sometimes the best dirty talk is themost restricted, as in the case of theheadmaster and student -- you have

to get very creative when the dirtytalk wouldn't fit the roleplaying game!In this case, you can considerpunishments for talking dirty, whichmight serve to heighten the situationeven more. Sometimes, a simple roleplaying gamecan turn into a complete lifestyle. Forthose who enjoy bondage orsubmission, their first forays intoroleplaying might have been thecatalyst that led them to choose afull-time lifestyle. You never knowwhat roleplaying can do, but you DOknow that it can lead to a moreintimate and fun relationship in the

bedroom. And who doesn't want to have themost fun possible behind closeddoors?

Girl on Girl Dirty Talk

Throughout this book we've talkedquite a bit about dirty talk with apartner, and often our commentshave been geared toward "him." Butwhat about the "her" side of theequation? When a woman talks dirtyto another woman, is it any differentthan when a woman talks dirty to aman? The answer to that is yesand no. There seems to be a hugemisconception floating around aboutwomen and dirty talk. So many times

women are seen as the delicateflower, one that shouldn't be sulliedby dirty things. That includes sexualfantasies, vivid sexual expression, andyes, even down and dirty naughtytalk. It harkens back to a time whenwomen were seen as the weaker sex,and were believed to need protectionfrom all things that could "corrupt"their gentle and unassuming nature. My, how times have changed! Women are very much in charge oftheir lives. That includes every aspectof their lives, including their sexuality.Women's enjoyment of porn, dirty

talk, and other things once consideredtoo "base" for the t