How to Say No and Get Ahead

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© Jensen Group, 2015 Simplicity Project Simplicity Toolkit How to Say No and Get Ahead SAP has partnered with The Jensen Group, the premier expert on organizational simplicity to provide you with some of their tools and insights These documents are segmented into one of three areas of focus... Research Organizational and Leadership Simplicity Personal and Team Simplicity

Transcript of How to Say No and Get Ahead

© Jensen Group, 2015 Simplicity Project

Simplicity ToolkitHow to Say Noand Get Ahead

SAP has partnered with The Jensen Group, the premier expert on organizational simplicityto provide you with some of their tools and insights

These documents are segmented into one of three areas of focus...

Research Organizationaland

LeadershipSimplicity

Personal andTeam

Simplicity

by Bill Jensen

The Jensen Group • 1 Franklin Place, Morristown, NJ 07960 • USA • 1 (973) 539-5070email [email protected] • http://www.simplerwork.com • twitter: @simpletonbill

All content developed by and intellectual property of the Jensen Group © copyright 2014-16, and should be attributed as such

ONE OF THE JENSEN GROUP’S FASTPAK SERIES:

TOOLS DESIGNED TO DELIVER LASTING RESULTS IN 5—10 MINUTE INCREMENTS

How to Say

“No.”and Get Ahead

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

Is ThisWhat You Dread?You know you want to say “No.” But you feel you can’t because it would be politically incorrect to do so.Or you feel it will lead to confrontation. Or you don’t want to let everyone down. Or, or, or...

FastPak Tool Guarantee: This tool is guaranteed to get you through daily implementation challenges,delivering lasting results in 5—10 minute increments.And if you use this tool repeatedly, you can become a star go-to teammate... Yes, by saying “No”!

This FastPak’s Strategy and StrengthGetting you what you need to get work donein a world of MoreBetterFaster.Sometimes, even more important than having an idyllic relationship with your manager or teammates, is just gettingwhat you need to do your best. This FastPak doesn’t care if your relationship with your Yes/No partner is fantastic, so-so,or downright ugly: with any relationship, it’ll get you what you need — faster!

What FastPaks Can’t DoCreate world peace......or the workday equivalent thereof.Let’s be realistic about what can be expected for just a few bucks, OK?!

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No.

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

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Four Myths of “No.”As human beings, all of our emotions flow from either Fear or Love.Guess which emotion is causing your troubles with “No”?

Saying No is a career killerThe true career-killers are beyond any one transactional No: Your skills, the economy, globalization, etc....

Saying Yes,even when we know it’s silly and dysfunctional,is part of the gameSay Yes (sometimes) for relationships that are worth it. But for career progression? That quid pro quo disappearedyears ago. Your boss’s and teammates’s jobs are in as much jeopardy as yours. Many of your Yes’s benefit only them.

Saying No to a teammate takes me“out of the Loop”The secret is in saying No in such a way that you’re even more “in the loop” on what truly matters! We’ll show you how....

My boss will never accept No.I’m in a no-win situation.Not every situation can be a win-win. But most every relationship can. We’ll show you how....

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

THEPRIME DIRECTIVE

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Respect 14401440 drives almost every single situation in which you must sayYes or No.1440 is the number of minutes in a day.Behind most every task, most every request: Getting it done NOW is still too late!Far too many decisions and far too many tasks are driven not by strategies, plans or what’s right —but by what can be done right away! Which means you must...

Realize that much of what’s being askedof you wasn’t supposed to be yours...The number one behavior in business today:Moving To Do’s from our plate and onto someone else’s.Too little time, too many To Do’s, too few resources.... So what do you and every one of your teammates do?We all try to move our To Do’s onto someone else’s plate! Which means if you keep saying Yes at the rate you do now,you will never have enough time for your own To Do’s! Your day will always be filled doing other people’s tasks.And that scenario is only going to get worse, never better!

Respect yourself moreIf you do not decrease your Yes’s and increase your No’s, you are disrespecting yourself.How? Since there are only 1440 minutes in every day, taking on so many other people’s To Do’s and requests meansyou are stealing time from someplace else in your life — from someone or something else that truly matters to you.

THEPRIME DIRECTIVERELATES TO YOU

TOO

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

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The GoalYour goal is to not get hooked

by the details of the situation,

and not focus on the

immediate success or failure

of saying No.

Your goal is to use No’s

as an opportunity to

change relationships.This idea is no different from fanatical customer conversions — how one handles an unhappy customer can completelychange the relationship with that customer. Strengthen the relationship and occasional No’s won’t matter.

No.

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

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Three StepsPick an approach:Direct (25% of all opportunities to say No) 30 seconds or less

or Indirect (Use this75% of the time) 5 minutes or less

Use No to change the relationship

Learn.Expand what works intoother relationships

No.

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

Pick an approach: Direct or Indirect

Direct “No.” • “No. Thank you, though.” • “Too busy. I’ll pass.”

With Whom • Close teammates, friends, those who know how often you say Yes• Friends of friends of your friend, or no connection at all

Criteria Social capital: The depth (or non-existence) or your relationship. Take the direct approach with those who you arevery close to, or not close at all. (If you don’t know them well, spend as little time as possible saying “No, thank you.”)

How Often 25% of all opportunities to say NoWhile Direct No’s only account for 25%, this is where most of us spend most of our time! Because they’recomfortable No’s! Your goal is to spend less and less time on Direct No’s, so you have more time for what truly matters

Watch For COMMON MISTAKES BEST PRACTICES• Over-explaining your “No,” over-apologizing • Be brief! One to twenty words• Buying time: saying Yes, then backing out later • By being direct sooner, you reduce unnecessary To Do’s

Indirect “Help me understand...” • “Let’s talk about this...”

With Whom • Bosses, customers, leaders; Those who direct your actions• Networked teammates; Those in the same company, group, or team, but not tied to your daily routine

Criteria How your response this time will create future expectations — yours and theirs.Take the indirect approach to manage the overall flow of To Do’s from these individuals

How Often 75% of all opportunities to say no

Watch For COMMON MISTAKES BEST PRACTICESTrying to push back directly on a • Focus on relationshipspecific assignment or request • Incremental pushbacks; Raise the bar over time; Educate them

• Find alternative solutions

No.

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© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

Treat Indirect No’s as an Opportunityto Change a Relationship• Do NOT push back on the work you’ve just been handed• Change the conversationControl what you can, and forget the rest. You can change the exchange. You can change how you react.

1. Discover the unsaid

• What would success look like for this project? • What do you wish you could have changed last time?• Help me understand what you’re trying to achieve... • What else is on your plate besides this project?• What’s connected to this project that’s driving the deadline? • Even if they are minimal, what tools/support/resources are available?• Thanks for your confidence in me! Why’d you think of me? • Help me understand the connection to my quarterly goals...• What’s worked in the past? • Once I hand this back to you, what happens next?

2. Explore alternative solutions

• Here’s how I’d start...What am I missing? • Ya know, Alpha Team had a problem like this...How about if we...?• Which of these three approaches do you think is best? • What if I presented two solutions that stayed within the budget?• What’s connected to this project that’s driving the deadline? • Even if they are minimal, what tools/support/resources are available?• Are there others who should be involved in this? • Could I set up a mid-point check-in with you?

3. Contract for the next conversation

• Roger, Chief! Can we set up a debrief talk afterwards? • A lot fell off my plate doing this: Can you help me find a way to avoid that next time?• I’m glad you’re thrilled with how I delivered on this! — • I’d like to make suggestions to help do this even better next time, OK?Now, can we talk about...?

No.

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© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

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Learn.Expand What Works Into Other RelationshipsEvery relationship and situation are different, and must be handled that way. However, here are some common lessons learned...

1. Discover the unsaid

From our research into the challenging world of MoreBetterFaster, we have observed thatmuch of what is unsaid drives most of the pressure you encounter in your daily routines.How? Let’s go back to page 4: The number one behavior in business today is moving things from our plate onto someone else’s.With too little time, too many To Do’s, too few resources, most of your Yes/No situations are driven by the pressure others feel,so they heap onto you their To Do’s, as fast as they can — most often, without fully thinking through all that’s involvedin pushing everything onto your plate. (Like how they would answer the questions on page 8.)So what we’ve found is that — in addition to your own agenda, being able to say No more often — when you help others discoverall that is buried within their project, you help them to not shoot themselves in the foot!Most people end up being very thankful! (Which, in turn, enhances your relationship with them.)

2. Explore alternative solutions

A lot more people will accept and embrace alternative solutions than you think! Why isn’t discussing alternative solutionsmore common place? Because most everyone is pushing things onto others’ plates in a knee-jerk fashion, and most of us acceptwhat’s been pushed at us in the same manner....If you create the time for alternative solutions, they’ll be embraced!

3. Contract for the next conversation

Closing with this is extremely powerful and, unfortunately, extremely rare.If you want to truly say No and strengthen relationships, always set up the next conversation, and always keep that appointment!

No.

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

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Why This Tool Worksin Saying No and Getting Ahead

Every exchange that involves either a Yes or a No is very muchabout creating fast clarity and on-the-fly deeper thinking beforeyou say Yes or No. Within five minutes or less.

Each of the three steps in this process cover critical implementationdetails that you’ll need even if you can’t say No.So — worst-case scenario — even if you have to say Yes:you’ve gotten more of what you need to succeed! That’s a win-win!

Why Using This Tool is So CriticalSaying No will always include great conversational skills and maintaining a good relationship.But most every difficult Yes or No interaction is triggered by and rooted in implementation —a task that must get done.Following the steps in this process focuses both of you solely on the most critical things you need to knowin order to either say No, or to agree to take something on. The root cause of most Yes/No issues come from thepressure that your teammate is feeling to get everything done MoreBetterFaster. Regardless of how each situationturns out — in a Yes or a No — your relationship with that person will be greatly improved by following this process.

© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

Measuring Successin Saying No and Getting AheadObviously, the ultimate measure is that you get to say “No” more often!We may not be able to guarantee 100% No’s — (hey, sometimes we all just have to suck it up and do what wedon’t want to!) — but if you use this tool repeatedly, each time you’re in a critical Yes/No situation —here’s what we can guarantee within one to five uses of this tool...

Increased Alignment with Your Managerand with Your TeammatesYour use of this tool is guaranteed to put you, your teammates and your manager “on the same page” faster,with a lot less effort. Whether you have to say No or Yes, you will experience greater team alignment onhow to get things done, faster, with a lot less effort.Related and equally important: Increased ability to manage everyone’s expectations.

Increased Efficiency and EffectivenessThe conversations with your teammates driven by this tool will help you get more done with less effort.

Increasingly Viewed as the ‘Go To’ PersonYou’ll “get” your teammates’ intentions, goals and ideas more quickly. Which only serves to make you more valuable!

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© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

Because one FastPak can’tsolve for everything...All in this FastPak comes from the Jensen Group’s ongoing two-decade study, Search for a Simpler Way,as well as Bill Jensen’s best-seller, The Simplicity Survival Handbook.There, you’ll find 32 ways to do less and accomplish more, such as:

How to delete 75% of your emailsHow to go to fewer meetings and get more out of themHow to ignore most corporate communicationsHow to give executives less information and still keep them happyHow to deal with teammates who (unknowingly) pile it onHow to get the orientation you deserveHow to decide: Stay or go?

Another terrific resource isCrucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillanand Al Swistzler. We’re proud to recommend and showcase someone else’s work. This book delves into great detailabout conversations where (1) the stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong.If your difficulties in saying No involve more than the transactions of getting stuff done — if there are deeprelationship issues between you and others — Crucial Conversations is the perfect follow-up to this FastPak.The authors address three aspects of a crucial conversation: (1) managing our own style under stress,(2) dialogue techniques, and (3) what to do after you’ve reached shared meaning.At the core of the book is the theory of emotional intelligence, popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1995 book.Crucial Conversations notes that, when it comes to emotional intelligence, we are often at our worst in stressfulsituations, and offers tools and tips to stop you from doing the things you know you shouldn’t!

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© The Jensen Group, 2014-16 How to Say No1 (973) 539-5070 www.simplerwork.com

ABOUT

Mr. SimplicityTHE BIO OF A SIMPLETON

Bill Jensen makes it easier to do great work.

He is today’s foremost expert on work complexity and cutting through clutter to what really matters.

Bill has spent the past two decades studying how work gets done. (Much of what he’s found horrifies him.)

He is an internationally-acclaimed author and speaker who is known for provocative ideas,

extremely useful content, and his passion for making it easier for everyone to work smarter.

His first book, Simplicity, was the Number 5 Leadership/Management book on Amazon in 2000.

His latest books — The Courage Within Us and Disrupt! Think Epic, Be Epic — reveal the secrets of

success through bold ideas and by unleashing your own greatness.

His next book is on the Future of Work

Bill is CEO of The Jensen Group, whose mission is: To make it easier to do great work.

Among the Jensen Group’s clients are Bank of America, GE, NASA, the US Navy SEALS,

BBC, Philips Lighting, Chevron, the government of Ontario, Pfizer, Merck, L’Oréal Italia,

Johnson&Johnson, Guangzhou China Development District, and the Swedish Post Office.

Bill's personal life fantasy is to bicycle around the globe via breweries.

1. Out of clutter, find simplicity

2. From discord, find harmony

3. In the middle of difficulty liesopportunity

Albert EinsteinThree Rules of Work