How to Host a Dinner Party

Always serve your meal within a reasonable time after your guests’ arrival, or risk courting disaster. There is no greater enemy of a successful dinner than the combination of an overlong cocktail hour and a roomful of empty stomachs. You don’t even want to know what might happen. So, by all means, don’t delay things for the sake of stragglers. They can fend for themselves well enough once they arrive and explain.

Which reminds me. Go easy on the hors d’oeuvres. A cheese platter, chips, and nuts are fine. There’s no sense lavishing so much food on your guests early on that they’ll be full once the main event arrives later. Just feed them enough to tide them over. Do, however, make sure your guests have drinks in hand as quickly as possible once they arrive.

As to your choice of entrée, never serve the following: chicken breasts (except chicken parmigiana, of course), white fish of any kind, calves’ liver, meat loaf, or lamb curry. Think long and hard before serving fondue. When in doubt, serve a roast. They’re elegant and easy to get on the table, and there’s hardly anyone who doesn’t like them.

Do not serve “buffet style”. Remember, you’re not overseeing the dinner hour at Sing-Sing, so don’t force your guests to load their own plates and then march single-file into the dining room. As an alternative, you might plate the meal beforehand and serve it yourself. Your best bet, though, is boardinghouse style, where your guests sit and pass platters to each other at the table and serve themselves there. It’s festive and informal–and guests can have seconds if they want.

Always have a seating plan drawn up beforehand. You’ll forestall a lot of chaos and disappointment if you do. Your guests don’t want to figure out for themselves where to sit, after all, and will mill around aimlessly until you tell them who goes where. (If you do let them choose their own seats, by the way, they’ll almost certainly blow it.) Pair guests who don’t know each other well. Sprinkle teenagers among the adults. Know who your conversational duds are, and place them accordingly.

Once everyone is served and forks are up, start the conversation, and do what you can to keep it rolling. Local real estate news tends to be a worthwhile topic. Don’t be afraid to wade into politics. But save the gossip until later, when everyone has had plenty of wine.

Speaking of wine, have more open bottles of it on the table than is strictly necessary. If they’re all not empty by the end of the meal, something’s gone wrong.

Don’t forget dessert. For many of your guests, it’s the highlight of the meal. But don’t feel obligated to slave over it. Buy something eye-catching at your local bakery, and serve it in the living room, where the chairs are more comfortable, and where your guests who aren’t big dessert fans can better enjoy their after-dinner drinks.

Conrad Banks www.conradbanks.com 1/5/11