How to Deal With Difficult Behaviors
Transcript of How to Deal With Difficult Behaviors
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Welcome to
How to Deal with
cu e av ours
Trainer: Sue Hemphill
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One word or image I associate with Conflict
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Objectives
Participants will have the opportunity to:
Reflect on your personal case studies and
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behaviours and conflict situations at work.
Learn and practice a skill for responding todifficult behaviours
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Guidelines
Safe Place = Respect + Confidentiality
Risk sharing your stories and trying new things
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Leave enriched by the learning and with theconfidence that you are the only one leaving theroom with your stories
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Case Study
Identify a recent difficult interaction /conversation with someone you have an
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a work colleague, supervisor, direct report /staff, residents family member.
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Case Study Reflection #1(pairs or triads)
Share a snap shot of the context,surrounding your difficult conversation.
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experienced as difficult? Be specific; e.g.raised voice, rolled eyes, they said
You will be given 2 - 3 minutes each
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What impact did the conversationhave on you at the moment, that
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, .
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Case Study Reflection #2
Imagine that the other person is sitting inyour place. How would they answer thefollowing question?
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What did you do during the conversation thatthey experienced as difficult or not helpful?
Take 1 minutes each
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Who started this situation?
Who has more organizational power?
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For those of you with less organizationalpower, does power affect the impact of what
happened?
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Definitions of Conflict
Conflict is difference + tension (the rub)
A conflict represents, first and foremost, a crisis inhuman interaction. The occurrence of conflict tends
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and the other, so that each party feels both morevulnerable and more self-absorbed than they didbefore the conflict.
Conflict has common and predictable patterns.
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BeliefsAbout
Conflict
The Conflict Cycle
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Occurs
Response
onsequence
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BeliefsAbout
Conflict
The Conflict Cycle
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Occurs
Response
onsequence
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Case Study Reflection #3
What is your typical or pattern of response todifficult behaviour?
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Can you generate other options for
responding?
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Debrief
With a self perpetuating cycle, where andhow do you introduce change?
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Real freedom is the ability topause between a stimulusand a res onse and in
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that pause choose.- Rollo Mae
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Resolution Skills CentresBeliefs About Conflict
Conflict is okay
People have choices in their response to conflict People can solve their own conflicts I only have part of the story. I have part of the
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. We all contribute to our conflicts consciously or
unconsciously There can be win/win resolutions
Reconciliation is possible in a wide range ofsituations
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Private
Intent
Public
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Effect
Words ____%Tone ____%Body Language ____%
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View Video
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Private
Intent
Public
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Action
Effect
Assume
WordsToneBody Language
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We judge ourselves by ourintentions.
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Others judge us by our impact/effect.
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PERSPECTIVES
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Dealing with Accusations
Their Blame
Our
Defense and Counter-
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Accusation
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Responding to Accusation
Their Blame
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Listen, acknowledgeeffect and seek to
understand theirconcern
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Responding to Accusation
Their Blame
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Identify there is aproblem or an issue
Paraphrase to defuse,
validate and clarify
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Paraphrasing:
is a minimal encourager
3 9 words
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ee ngs
First
Facts
Follow
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Paraphrasing
Is easier to do when we are dealing with someone
who is upset at someone else other than us.
Is most difficult to do and can feel counter- intuitive
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(until the habit or pattern is set) when the personwith the difficult behaviour is upset with is YOU!
We have to resist the animal self-protection instinctto fight or flight and engage more deeply.
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Empathy is KEY!
The ability to share in another emotions,thoughts and feelings.
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How hard is it to have empathy withsomeone when they are upset with us ormaking things difficult for us?
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Basic or FundamentalHuman Needs
There are varying theories and words to
describe and categorize human needs (mostsimplify to 4 or 5)
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Security or safety
Belonging and acceptance
Fun, self expression and discovery
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Resolution Skills Centre
A division of Mediation Services
Resolution Skills Training and Certificate
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rogram
www.resolutionskills.ca
204-925-3410