Shorts How to Court a Librarian

Chapter TwoIf staring, following, and attempting to strike upconversation outside of class and library fail, and one nevermanages to partner with desired librarian in spell practice,approach directly in library. Ask for book, any will do.Librarians cannot refuse this request. Conversation starterachieved.

Carlis looked up with a glare, pushing his spectacles backup his nosebut drew up short to see it was Elendt speakingto him. What?

I said, Im having trouble finding a book, but if I ask that ogreat the central desk again shes going to put me on a spitand roast me with a nice bit of fire magic, then serve me toall the students.

The statement was said with so much seriousness, Carlisalmost cracked a smile. It was true Head Librarian Karywas not the friendliest of women. Stifling a sigh, becausethis was only the millionth time someone had asked him forhelp because it was easier than hunting down the bookhimself.

Still, Elendt was usually nicer to him than most. For someweird reason, Elendt was never put off by the snapping andglaring and flat out ignoring that drove everyone else

successfully away.

He was here to earn his jewels, then a good, solid researchposition to carry on his private studies and hopefullysomeday write several books of research on written magic,historical to present. He didnt have time for messingaround like everyone else. Now that he had his jewels, onlya year of study was leftit was more important than ever nowthat he focus.

What book? he asked.

Elendt looked startled for a moment, but it swiftly turned intoconfusion. Uhsomething on wyrms?

Something on wyrms, Carlis repeated flatly. What kind ofsomething on wyrms?

Uhgeneral history? Elendt tried.

Carlis wondered what exactly was going on, and if he wasbeing set up for some prank. The bastards had tried thatbeforebut quiet and hardworking and purposely stand-offishdid not stupid make, and even now they still sat on theopposite side of the room. He smirked briefly at thememory of that prank gone wrong, but then recalled he hada current Unknown to deal with. This way, he said tersely,and led the way through the tall stacks, navigating themaze-like library with ease.

Hed begun working in the library his very first day atuniversity. It was the one place he felt at home, hiddenamongst the booksuntil the people showed up anyway.

Reaching the section housing all the bestiaries, he quicklymoved through them to the shelves containing all the bookson wyrms, pulling three down after only a moment. Here, hesaid. These are all excellent general books on wyrms. Wecan also pull some from the history section, if you like.

Uhall right?

Rolling his eyes, not even bothering to pretend he wasanything other than harassed, Carlis stalked off toward thehistory section, not really caring if Elendt could keep up.

Not that he really doubted it. Elendt was one of the topsoldiers in the academyeasily within the top ten, evenCarlis knew that, and he made it a point not to waste histime on useless information. No doubt mages were alreadylining up to bond with him, and go cavorting off to slay wildbeats.

He reached the history section and turned sharply to waitimpatiently for Elendt to reach him but wound up crashingright into a broad chest that was hard, but shockingly warm,and books that were also hard but decidedly less pleasantto crash into.

Pleasant? Nothing about crashing into anyone was

pleasant. Scowl deepening, he jerked away and hastilypulled down another half dozen books. These should keepthe idiot soldier occupied. Anything else I can help youwith? he asked, in a tone that said the answer had betterbe no.

Elendt blinked at him, and Carlis noted his eyes were anodd dark blue-gray. Sort of like an evening skyexcept thatsounded like hed spent too much time amongst the poetrystacks and really, what sort of glutton for punishment didthat?

Scowling at himself, he pushed past Carlis, no longercaring what his answer might be, and went back to his ownwork behind the safety of the tall, deep desk of a SeniorLibrarian.

Chapter ThreeIf one completely and utterly fails to strike up aconversation, repeat until one manages to get it right.

Could you help me find a book?

Carlis rolled his eyes as he dropped his pencil, thenscowled at Elendt, decidedly not impressed by thesheepish smile or the floppy hair or the anxious look in theblue-gray eyes. Honestly, what was Elendt doing? He hadnever known Elendt to carry around more than class-required texts in all their years at the Universitythough hehad to concede hed never paid attention, either. In hishead, the Combat half of the campus seemed to carryweapons more than books.

Sighing, he shoved back his chair and rose. What book doyou want tonight? You do know you can only check out up toten at a time, right, Elendt?

Elendt looked at him in surprise, then smiled in a way thatseemed

almost ridiculously sweet and happy. I didnt think you knewmy name.

Why wouldnt I know your name? Carlis snapped, irritatedfor no good reason. He was a jerk, not an ass, and they sat

right next to each other in Bonding class and seemed tohave as many classes together as was possible for a mageand a soldier to have in common. He wasnt that oblivious.Whatever. What book?

Umtea.

Tea? Carlis repeated, actually taken by surprise on thatone.

Yes, Elendt said, looking pleased with himself. Dont youlike tea?

Carlis eyed him, and wondered if it was tea that Elendtliked drinking, and if hed had any tea in the past hour or so.Yes, he replied cautiously.

I-uh-thought so, Elendt said, growing hesitant again. Youread a lot in that teahouse at the corner of Elder and Crest.Well, you read a lot everywhere, I dont think you ever stopreading, its really impressiveuh. That is. I just thought itmight be nice to know more about tea, seeing as I drink itso much? He looked rather uncertain about thispronouncement.

Shaking his head, not certain if he should laugh, agreesimply to calm Elendt down, or sigh in exasperation again,Carlis led the way through the stacks to where books abouttea could be found. What game was Elendt playing,seriously? This was going on three weeks now hed come in

and asked Carlis to help him find some bookand thesubjects had no correlation. They seemed to be pickedcompletely at random. Did Elendt even read them?

Reaching the stacks, he perused the shelves a moment,not being quite as familiar with this section as he wasothersthen he realized the books he sought were just out ofreach, and heaved a long sigh of annoyance. It was notworth it to go and find a footstool. Grasping the edge of oneshelf, he levered himself up on his toes and stretchedbutstill could not quite reach.

Then something pressed up against him from behind, anda calloused hand brushed his briefly. Which one? Elendtasked, voice so close to his ear, and good gods had hisvoice always had that gravelly, husky tone to it, and whywas he noticingCarlis yelped in surprise. Then he realizedhow loud hed been, and clapped a hand over his mouth.

And only then realized he had totally lost his balance,except not, because he was even more firmly pressedagainst that broad chest hed been noticing more than hefelt like admitting, and Elendts arm was wrapped aroundhim, steadying him.

Jerking away, ignoring the way he could feel his face hadgone bright red, he hissed, The large brown one, and thetwo smaller yellow ones.

Elendt nodded, and retrieved the books in question.

Anything else? Carlis asked.

UhIm sorry? Elendt asked. I didnt mean to startle you oranything.

He looked so perfectly wretched and

well, devastated, that Carlis could not stay angry, eventhough he tried. It doesnt matter, he muttered, looking awaywhen the blue-grey eyes brightened. Honestly, why did theidiot look so pleased when Carlis was even the slightest bitnice to him?

It made him fight between an urge to be meaner, just toreestablish the proper order of things, and be nicer, whichwas just irritating. He wasnt here to be nice to anyonehewas here to become a real mage, and then go on his merryway.

So, did you need anything else?

Uh, well

not, really, I guess. What kind of tea do you like?

Carlis blinked at the odd, sudden question. He consideredtelling Elendt something nasty, but honestly, he could notstand when the idiot looked like a forlorn puppy. Rose, he

said. I like rose tea.

Of all the things he expected, it was not for Elendt to look sodamned excited. Really? My mother makes the best rosetea in the village. She just sent me a package of it! Ill bringyou some tomorrow, if you like. Thank you for the books!Then he dashed off as though on a matter of great urgency,leaving Carlis horribly confused and with the beginnings ofa headache.

Chapter FourAttempt to sound intelligent, instead of like a massive idiot.The desired librarian is rumored to be a genius, and wouldhave no interest in a nitwit whose best line is what kind oftea do you like?. Hide in room like a coward for a week,then sally forth and resume bumbling courtship. Remember intelligence!

So did you like the tea I sent you? Elendt asked anxiously.

Carlis looked up in surprise, having thought that Elendt hadfinally had enough of him after their parting over the teabooks a week ago. He had not seen a single trace ofElendt since, and if he had been crankier than usualaccording to the rest of the librarians, well, what did theyreally know? Yes, he said.

Elendt smiled as though he had just been offered a smallkingdom or three. Good, Ill have her send extra next time.Um

What book? Carlis snapped, irritated. Why did the mankeep asking for books that he probably never read,probably never looked at, probably did not even want. Wasthat the only reason he came in here? To harass Carlis forbooks he didnt want?

Not that he cared, because he didnt, except that his time

was being wasted.

Elendt seemed to wilt a bit, but Carlis refused to feel guilty.UhI was hoping for some more on tea, actually. It was oddlyfascinating. Oh! More on castles, too. I had no idea somuch went into their making, its beyond anything. Have youread those ones? Oh, maybe some books on magic, aswell. Im hoping to Bond someday, but Im usually too tired inclass to pick up as much as I should.

Carlis nodded stiffly, thawing slightly as he realized the fullimplication of what Elendt was saying. So

are you actually reading all those books you request?

Yes? Elendt said. Why wouldnt I read them? I like reading, Ijust dont usually have much time for it. Homework andpractice and all that, you know. He shrugged, then wincedand reached up to touch his ribsbut then he seemed torealize Carlis was watching, and let the hand fall again.Anyway, do you have some more?

Of course, Carlis said, fighting a strange and sudden urgeto do something stupid like smile. Its a library, there arealways more books. Come on, then.

Did Elendt really like to read? Since when? Wouldnt hehave noticed? Of course not, why would he notice whatElendt did or didnt like to do? Why should he care? Sowhats wrong with your ribs?

whats wrong with your ribs?

Just bruised a bit, Elendt said. We always get banged up abit in melee drills. Kind of hard to avoid it. Not gettingbruised in melee drills is like not finding a book in a library.

Carlis laughed before he could catch himself, but hastily cutit off. He scowled when Elendt decided to look entirely toopleased with himself. Lets go find your books, he said,annoyed that he had to work to interject irritation, wonderingif perhaps hed inhaled too much paper dust or somethingthat week.

He was still wondering that when Elendt left over an hourlater, thoroughly confused that they had spent most of thattime conversing, and thoroughly annoyed that he was bothin a good mood and disappointed that Elendt was gone.He scowled at his homework, grateful that something wasat least being obediently scowl-worthy.

Chapter FiveSuccess is close! Do not screw up! Instead, gathercourage and ask the desired librarian out fortea? Dinner?Bookstore? Hopefully inspiration will strike about the sametime as courage.

Elendt was late. Carlis frowned, annoyed that he wouldeven think such a thing. But, he had been unable to noticethat Elendt always arrived at the same time exactly twohours after the final dinner bells rang.

It was two and a half hours past, already. Where was he?

Not that he cared. It would be nice to go one night withouthaving to track down the most random books Elendt couldcontrive.

The sound of laughter, belatedly muffled, drew his attention.He glanced up, but decided the table would be silentbut justas he went back to his own work, they erupted again.Standing up, grateful to have someone to yell at that thoughhe could not say why, he stalked to the table.

By the time he reached it, they were already contrite andfearful. When it seemed they would play mute the rest of thenight, he decided a stroll around the perimeter couldnt hurt.At least it would give him something to do, and take hismind off why Elendt had not shown up. Not that he cared.

He was just restless, after working twice as hard to preparefor his exams.

He strolled along the massive floor-to-ceiling windows thatformed the northern most wall of the library, glancing idly outat the smattering of students standing around outsideandfaltered as he saw a familiar face amongst them. Elendt

Who had his arm slung around the shoulders of a short,pretty mage that Carlis sort of recognizehe was theirritating one who always laughed at everything and grinnedlike a halfwit and

Then Elendt threw his head back and laughed andlaughedand then threw his arms around the ugly, obnoxiousmage and hugged him tight.

Carlis jerked away from the window and stalked back to hisdesk, staring hard at his papers but unable to make anysense of them.

Good evening, came a warm voice, making him jump.

He glared up at Elendt, who recoiled. I dont have time tofind your stupid books tonight.

What

Im certain your lover will be more than happy to help you, hesaid, still furious and not caring that his voice was too loud

because really, he was too busy to fetch stupid books forstupid soldiers who showed up late because he was busyflirting with a stupid empty-headed mage.

Fine. He didnt care. He had better things to do. Throwing allhis things into his satchel, he slung it over his shoulder andstalked out. He wanted away, he wanted out, and he hopeda shelf in the oversized section fell on Elendts stupid head.

He thought he heard Elendt call his name, but onlyincreased his pace, storming away from the library andback to his dorm room as fast as he could without losingthe last of his dignity by running.

Chapter SixGive up.

Carlis felt miserable. He wishedhe wished the stupid idiot

He didnt care. He didnt. Let the nitwit flirt wherever hewanted, it wasnt like hed ever wanted more than a fetcherof books from Carlis. Hadnt he always strived to be sounpleasant that no one would bother him? He should bepleased it worked so well. He was pleased it had workedso well, so there. Elendt could just flirt with his halfwit andfind his own books and they would all be happy.

A soft cough broke into his thoughts, and made him jump.Jerking his head up, he glared hatefully at Elendtwholooked so damned depressed and forlorn and woundedpuppy, he faltered. Almost. What? he snapped.

I justuh Elendt abruptly dropped a book on the table. I justwanted to return this. Sorry. Um. For bothering you andstuff. Goodbye.

Carlis started to acidly reply that he was not the book returnstation, but before he could get so much as a word out,Elendt was gone. Scowling, he dropped his gaze to thebookthen immediately frowned. He hadnt picked out abook like this for Elendt. It was

It looked more like a private journal. Maybe, he thoughtbitterly, the halfwit had chosen it. Picking it up, he flipped itopen to the title pageand stared in complete bemusement.

How to Court a Librarian

What?

Frowning, confusion growing and growing, he flippedthrough the book, reading the small neat printtheinstructions that had obviously been written by Elendt, all hiscareful noteson tea, on other things he thought Carlis liked

But

But what about that stupid halfwit?

Had Elendt really been trying this whole time? But why?

Swearing loudly, not really caring that everyone glared athimhis glares were far much worsehe bolted across thelibrary, dashing outside then looking around in vain, ohwhere would the idiot go and why didnt he know?

Muttering more obscenities, he whipped around to go askaround the main armoryand slammed smack into a wall. Afamiliar wall, to judge by the leather and tea scent hedcome to associate with Elendt, even if he had tried hard notto do that.

Rubbing his nose, he angled his head up to scowl. Whatare you doing back here?

Isorry? I just

Elendt sighed. I just thought Id try one more time? Stupidas it must seem

He looked at Carlis, the very picture of misery.

Carlis frowned back, still sort of confused. You were withthat halfwit from Bonding class.

Huh? Elendt said, looking just as confused. Heath? Hes mycousin, he got engaged last

His eyes popped open. Oh. Is that why you were mad? Helooked suddenly the very opposite of miserable. UmImsorry, I ran late last night because Heath wouldnt shut upabout his engagement and of course I was happy for him

He trailed off, uncertainty returning as he glanced fromCarlis to the book Carlis still held, back to Carlis.

Damn it, he did not want these kinds of distractions. Hedidnt. Except, well

maybe he did. A little bit. But only Elendt. Everyone elsecould go stand beneath a collapsing bookshelf. You haveterrible taste in manuals, he said sharply, shoving the book

into Elendts chest. The next time you require suchassistance, you should try asking a librarian.

Elendts smile then made it very, very hard to keepscowling. Oh? he asked, reaching out slowly, cautiously, towrap his hand around the one still holding the book in placeagainst his chest. What would a librarian advise?

Tea, Carlis said tartly, then added challengingly, and a kiss,so I know whether or not to get you a book for that

No, he decided several minutes later, Elendt did not need abook on kissing.