How My Marriage Survived his AFFAIR

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9 pricless lessons I've learned in my journey to survive my husband's affair

Transcript of How My Marriage Survived his AFFAIR

  • 1. 9 Priceless Lessons IveLearned in MY Journey to Heal from HIS Affair

2. #1 Dont Act on an Impulse If youve just found outabout his affair, resist theimmediate urge to throwhim out to the curb.Especially if you havechildren. Facing the pain, taking timeto gain perspective anddrafting a relief plan aresome of the emergencyfirst steps to take right now. 3. If youve JUST found out about your spouses cheating, there are a fewcritical steps you have to take. See my post Husband Cheated? Heres What to Do (link) Right Now. 4. #2 Once a Cheater Always aCheater is NOT True Once a cheater is NOT always a cheater. Many times an affair is a result of a serious communication breakdown. This CAN be fixed if you have the right tools and the right kind of help. 5. #3 Get Rid of the Haunting Images Nothing will hurt yourhealing process more thanthe obsessive thoughtsabout him and hertogether and othernegative thoughts takingcontrol of you. There are effective ways toget rid of these negativeand destructive images andthoughts. 6. To be able to function through this crisis you have to get the negativity andobsessive images out of your way. To learn how to do that, see my post How Do I Deal With The Obsessive Imag ? (link) 7. #4 Learn how to Deal With YourPainful Emotions A crazy cocktail ofdenial, anger, grief,disappointment andcomplete loss of selfesteem. How can youget through anotherday feeling like this? Learn effective ways toDEAL with the painfulemotions right now. 8. Letting these painful emotions take over you and become WHO you ARE is very dangerous.You have to open the door for the healing of yourself and (possibly) your relationship. To see how to do that see my post How Do I Live With the Painful Emotions? (link) 9. #5 Find Out if You Can EVERTrust Him Again Your mind tells you that you can never trust him again (or anyone else). But your heart doesnt want to believe it. There are simple signs you can look for to see if you can ever trust him again. 10. You can find out these 5 important signs in my article 5 Signs That You Can Start to Trust Your Cheating SpouseAgain (link) They will help you see where exactly you stand and clear your headimmediately. 11. #6 A Simple Trick to Find Out ifHe Still Loves You How can a man that claims he loves you And do this to you? Does he love you at all? If this question bothers you, I can share a simple trick to help you find out if your husband still loves you. 12. You may find it hard to believe, but your husbands infidelity does NOT mean that he doesnt love you.To find out about the Magic Pill question you have to ask him to find out See my article Cheating Man Does YourHusband Still Love You? (link) 13. #7 Decide if You Really Want toKnow EVERYTHING Every cheated woman wants to know everything about the infidelity; Where, why, how, when and who. Sometimes discovering everything about the affair can be a very bad move. 14. You have to discover the possible outcome of knowing every gory detail of hisinfidelity, and how exactly you can dealwith it Before you ask for it. To learn these important facts See myarticle How to Deal With the Gory Details of his Affair? (link) 15. #8 Do NOT Tell Your Friends andFamily Though its natural to seek help and comfort from your loved ones, telling your friends and family about his cheating can destroy the chances of your marriage to survive. 16. I urge you to WAIT and think twice before telling anyone that knows your spouse about what he did. That is if you still havent decided that your marriage is over.First, learn why this could ruin your chances ofsaving your marriage and who else can you safely confide in, In my post What NOT to Do When Your Husband Cheats (link) 17. #9 One Little Book Can SaveYour Marriage The most importantthing to understand isthat you CANTsurvive this ALONE. Finding the right kindof help will determinethe rest of yourrelationship and therest of your life. 18. After realizing that marriage counseling sessions are not what I want, I found amarriage help program that changedeverything from that moment on.Ive shared my experience and my results in my post How Dr. Gunzburgs Survivean Affair Book Saved My 11 YearMarriage