How I Met Your Mother - 3x02 - We'Re Not From Here.en

100:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,260different, not different?married--

200:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,000it's the same. mostly.

300:00:05,060 --> 00:00:06,860except i think i mightbe getting carpal tunnel.

400:00:06,930 --> 00:00:08,800my hand keepscramping up.

500:00:08,860 --> 00:00:10,660i thought the whole pointof getting married was

600:00:10,730 --> 00:00:12,360that you didn't haveto do that anymore.

700:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,900no, it's from writingall the thank you notes.

800:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,900mostly.yeah.

900:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,700you're writingconstantly.

1000:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,700there's forms wehave to sign,

1100:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,730our death folders,

1200:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,830thank you notes.whoa, whoa.

1300:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,160

what are death folders?

1400:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,600it's this thing theyrecommend you do

1500:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,460in case one spousedies unexpectedly.

1600:00:28,530 --> 00:00:29,660it's allthe information

1700:00:29,730 --> 00:00:30,800your spouse might need

1800:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,500all in one convenientlocation.

1900:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,630lily:yeah.

2000:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,600account info,important addresses,

2100:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,260a letter to theother person.

2200:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,330all that stuff.

2300:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,500i'll get the next round.

2400:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,500thanks.

2500:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,930i am such a jerk.

2600:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,130yeah.

2700:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,660wait, why?

2800:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,660i didn't know that i wassupposed to write a letter.

2900:00:48,730 --> 00:00:50,030all lily's gonna find

3000:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,530in that folder are a bunchof bank statements

3100:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,500and a funny list of things to dowith my ashes.

3200:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,360marshall brownies.

3300:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,500number six.yeah.

3400:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,830oh, god, i am a bad husband.

3500:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,830no, uh, no, i'll just write,

3600:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,860i'll write lily a lettertonight, everything'll be fine.

3700:01:01,930 --> 00:01:03,000that's right.

3800:01:03,060 --> 00:01:04,760unless...

3900:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,130you die betweennow and then.ooh.

4000:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,430but...

4100:01:08,500 --> 00:01:09,800come on, that's nevergonna happen.yes!

4200:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,300if there's one thingwe can state

4300:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,800with absolute certainty

4400:01:12,860 --> 00:01:15,300it's that marshall eriksenis not going to die

4500:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,360before writingthat letter.

4600:01:16,430 --> 00:01:17,900barney:no way at all.

4700:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,700in fact, i dare god

4800:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,700to smite down thisperfectly healthy...

4900:01:22,760 --> 00:01:23,930ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

5000:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,530i get it.

5100:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,200okay, you guys knowi'm a little superstitious,

5200:01:27,260 --> 00:01:28,800and you guys are tryingto freak me out.

5300:01:28,860 --> 00:01:30,230well, guess what?it didn't work.

5400:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,400so, there.

5500:01:41,530 --> 00:01:43,460you guys are jerks!

5600:01:45,030 --> 00:01:47,900captioning sponsored by20th century fox television

5700:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,900cbs 

5800:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,560and volkswagen.

5900:01:54,630 --> 00:01:57,760when you get into a volkswagen,it gets into you.

6000:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,760ted:kids, after robinand i broke up,

6100:01:59,830 --> 00:02:01,230she needed some time away.

6200:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,830away from her normal home,her normal life,

6300:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,430and it turns out,her normal self.

6400:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,430i was just so uptightin new york, you know?

6500:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,430i mean down here everybody

shares everything.

6600:02:12,500 --> 00:02:16,100it's like we're all one bigshimmering ball

6700:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,100of positive energy.

6800:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,800i wonder if anyone's everthought that before.

6900:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,960here.

7000:02:23,030 --> 00:02:24,700eat.

7100:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,030if we run out of fish,

7200:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,760i will catch morewith my hands.

7300:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,530(drums playing)

7400:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,200a drum circle!

7500:02:31,260 --> 00:02:32,300they're differentevery time.

7600:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,630let's go watch!

7700:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,530and here i amat the drum circle.

7800:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,000whoa, are you topless?

79

00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:39,160ted, check this out.

8000:02:39,230 --> 00:02:40,660seen 'em.

8100:02:40,730 --> 00:02:42,460wow, it seemslike a great trip.

8200:02:42,530 --> 00:02:43,760oh, it was.

8300:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,130i feel likethe robin who left

8400:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,660is not the same robinwho came back, you know.

8500:02:48,730 --> 00:02:51,500wow, there's a lotof nude people in here.

8600:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,630you haven't changed,scherbatsky.

8700:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,800you're a sophisticated,scotch-swilling,

8800:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,730cigar-smoking,red-meat-eating,

8900:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,230gun-toting new yorker.

9000:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,800just shoesand a shirt.

9100:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,200that's a look.

92

00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,200what you are not isa massage-giving,

9300:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,900windsurfing,bongo-playing,

9400:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,060teetotaling, vegan,peacenik, hippy

9500:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,900like you soon to beex-boyfriend, gael.

9600:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,300back me up here, ted.

9700:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,900i'm just happyrobin's happy.

9800:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,300thank you.lily:man,

9900:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,630this is like a"where's waldo"

10000:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,100of exposed genitalia.

10100:03:18,160 --> 00:03:22,330except that it's reallyeasy to find waldo.

10200:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,430i'm evolved...

10300:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,730and i'm enjoyingliving my life

10400:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,360a little bit closer

to the way gael

10500:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,360and i didin argentina.please.

10600:03:28,430 --> 00:03:31,530vacation romances havean expiration date.

10700:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,660gael's got a "best ifbanged by" sticker on him.

10800:03:34,730 --> 00:03:35,900once your romance

10900:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,000starts to stink,you'll dump his ass

11000:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,660down the drainlike sour milk

11100:03:39,730 --> 00:03:41,660and go back to being"unevolved robin,"

11200:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,230the one we actually like.

11300:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,560back me up here, ted.

11400:03:44,630 --> 00:03:47,330i'm just happyrobin's happy.

11500:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,330i'm telling you,within three days...

11600:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,560ooh, here he comes.switched to big words.

11700:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,760within a triadof solar periods,

11800:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,400you'll recognize your dearth

11900:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,330of compatibilitywith your paramour

12000:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,530and conclude your association.

12100:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,760my journeywas transformative.

12200:04:00,830 --> 00:04:02,030and i reassertmy commitment

12300:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,860to boththe aforementioned paramour

12400:04:03,930 --> 00:04:06,030and the philosophieshe espouses.

12500:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,360what are wetalking of?

12600:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,060baseball?

12700:04:09,130 --> 00:04:12,230this is all gonna return tomasticate you in the gluteals.

12800:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,100support my hypothesis, ted.

12900:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,600i'm just jubilant my formerparamour's jubilant.

13000:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,360to write the letter

13100:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,530he hoped lily would never haveto read.

13200:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,530"my dearest,sweetest, lily pad.

13300:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,700"let this letterbe a small beacon,

13400:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,530"a tiny fireflyto help light your way

13500:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,600"through the years ahead.

13600:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,960"my love for you persists

13700:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,000"higher thanthe himalayas.

13800:04:47,060 --> 00:04:50,000deeper thana scottish loch."

13900:04:50,060 --> 00:04:51,660(sobbing)

14000:04:51,730 --> 00:04:55,330"if i died under suspiciouscircumstances,

14100:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,160"then beware.

14200:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,830"trust no one.

14300:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,900not even ted."

14400:05:03,830 --> 00:05:06,760"especially not ted."

14500:05:06,830 --> 00:05:09,100"know that i'll alwaysbe there in your heart

14600:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,100"whenever you need me,

14700:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,100"and that my love for youwill never die.

14800:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,030"love...(sobbing)

14900:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,160your marshmallow."

15000:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,300(inhales sharply)

15100:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,560"m.

15200:05:40,630 --> 00:05:44,230"atm pin code:5-4-5-9.

15300:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,060"teacher's pensionaccount:

15400:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,060"a-3-9-3-2.

15500:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,400"cancel vogue.

15600:05:49,460 --> 00:05:51,460l."

15700:05:52,860 --> 00:05:54,300my windsurfing board...

15800:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,030it had floated away.

15900:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,700and the shark...

16000:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,300he was getting closer.

16100:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,630they say to escape

16200:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,130you punch a sharkin the nose.

16300:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,400but i said,

16400:06:04,460 --> 00:06:05,930"brother shark,

16500:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,600we are both children

16600:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,660from the sameearth mother."

16700:06:09,730 --> 00:06:11,130(sighs)

16800:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,160and that's all i rememberuntil the hospital.

16900:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,230that guy.yeah.

17000:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,230that guy.

17100:06:18,300 --> 00:06:19,730look at how easyhe has it.

17200:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,900you and me, we haveto bend over backwards

17300:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,230to get a woman to, well,bend over backwards.

17400:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,260but that guy...

17500:06:27,330 --> 00:06:29,260every woman in the baris hanging

17600:06:29,330 --> 00:06:31,930on his every slightlymispronounced word.

17700:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,760and why?

17800:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,760he's betterlooking than us.

17900:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,200no.

18000:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,860because he's fromout of town.

18100:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,100mmm.

18200:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,000with and accentand an innocent smile,

18300:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,000you don't even

have to try.yeah.

18400:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,300plus automatic out,

18500:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,560you're leaving ina couple of days.

18600:06:46,630 --> 00:06:49,230god, i wish wewere tourists.yeah.

18700:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,360actually...

18800:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,900you know where i've beenmeaning to visit?

18900:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,800(camera shutter clicking)okay, okay, we'refrom a small town

19000:06:58,860 --> 00:06:59,900in the southof france.

19100:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,930our plane leavessunday morning.

19200:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,530(with southern accent):uh, hey, uh, howdy, ladies.

19300:07:04,600 --> 00:07:05,560hate to bother you.

19400:07:05,630 --> 00:07:06,900we seem to bea little bit lost.

19500:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,130would you happen to know

which street

19600:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,700the statueof liberty's on?

19700:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,460actually,it's on its own island.

19800:07:12,530 --> 00:07:14,260oh!oh, it's right...

19900:07:14,330 --> 00:07:16,200ah.thank you very...

20000:07:16,260 --> 00:07:19,760uh, my name is, uh,ignatius peabody nobel.

20100:07:19,830 --> 00:07:22,700from east westerton,missouri.

20200:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,860and this ismy friend, ted.

20300:07:25,930 --> 00:07:27,260hi, um, i'm colleen.

20400:07:27,330 --> 00:07:28,430hi, colleen.this is lindsay.

20500:07:28,500 --> 00:07:29,900hi, lindsay.

20600:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,230so, hey,

20700:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,100you-you-you ladies,been awful nice to us.

208

00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,130what do you say...

20900:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,600ah, never mind.no...

21000:07:35,660 --> 00:07:36,400no, what is it?

21100:07:36,460 --> 00:07:37,830well...

21200:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,230it's just we're leavingsunday morning.

21300:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,800it sure would be nice tohave some real new yorkers

21400:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,230show us around.yeah.

21500:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,560well, we're busytonight, but...

21600:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,130maybe tomorrowafternoon?

21700:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,230after lunch?

21800:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,730well, hotdog!

21900:07:49,800 --> 00:07:50,900should we...

22000:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,030you want to justmeet here

22100:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,230

in front of mac...maclaren's pub?

22200:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,060it's kind of alame bar, but sure.

22300:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,930really? it doesn'tseem that lame to me.

22400:07:58,000 --> 00:07:58,830it's pretty lame.

22500:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,900i think it's cool.

22600:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,500we'll see youtomorrow.barney:all right.

22700:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,300i'm just saying it seems likea kind of bar

22800:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,660a lot of cool peoplewould ng out at.

22900:08:05,730 --> 00:08:06,700okay, all right.

23000:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,200so, gael, huh?mmm.

23100:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,460still going strong?

23200:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,960yeah, it's great.

23300:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,760amazing, fantastic, awesome.

234

00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:14,860ooh, that's one too many.

23500:08:14,930 --> 00:08:15,930what's going on?

23600:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,800well, now that i'm home,

23700:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,000i'm finding myselfgetting annoyed

23800:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,260at things that i lovedon vacation.

23900:08:21,330 --> 00:08:22,930here, taste.

24000:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,960experience your food.

24100:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,930oh.

24200:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,930so good.

24300:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,660here, taste.

24400:08:31,730 --> 00:08:33,330experience your food.

24500:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,200ooh, sofa,ooh, sofa.

24600:08:35,260 --> 00:08:36,630sofa, sofa, oh.

24700:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,800(grunts)

24800:08:37,860 --> 00:08:39,830

ooh.we're alone now.

24900:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,860i must have you.

25000:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,830(laughs)

25100:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,360(moans)

25200:08:46,430 --> 00:08:48,000ooh.i must have you.

25300:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,100laptop, laptop, laptop!

25400:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,560(sighs)

25500:08:52,630 --> 00:08:53,830and you knowwhat else?

25600:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,560i'm still finding sandeverywhere.

25700:08:55,630 --> 00:08:57,660i mean, we haven't beento the beach since argentina.

25800:08:57,730 --> 00:08:59,330where is all coming from?

25900:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,330well, maybe you're justgoing back

26000:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,330to the person you werebefore the trip.

26100:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,560but i don't want to.

26200:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,560i was so happy down there.

26300:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,900no, you know what?

26400:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,230i'm done complaining.

26500:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,860i'm evolving.

26600:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,130just gonna

26700:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,200go with the flow.

26800:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,130wow.

26900:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,930gael, you're peeingwhile i'm in the shower.

27000:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,930okay.

27100:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,600okay, old robin would have beenlike, dude, ocupado.

27200:09:27,660 --> 00:09:30,600but now, you know what,i'm cool with it.

27300:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,260pee it up.

27400:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,960in fact,

27500:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,200when you're done, why don't youcome in here and join me?

27600:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,700don't mind if i do, love.

27700:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,330(screams)

27800:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,860gael, there's some weird du...

27900:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,200hello.hey!

28000:09:44,260 --> 00:09:45,530good news!

28100:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,060i made some new travelingfriends today,

28200:09:47,130 --> 00:09:49,200and they'll be staying with us,how do you say...

28300:09:49,260 --> 00:09:50,860indefinitely!

28400:09:50,930 --> 00:09:52,460all:g'day!

28500:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,460bpooh, here.

28600:09:58,530 --> 00:09:59,830will you signthis thank you note?

28700:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,700wow.

28800:10:03,760 --> 00:10:04,700both sides.

289

00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,130you wrote on

29000:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,500both sides of a thank you noteto my third cousin

29100:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,960for a blender that you haven'teven taken out of the box.

29200:10:12,030 --> 00:10:13,430wow, that's...

29300:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,100it's a really nice blender.well, if you love

29400:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,500that blender so much,why don't you just marry it.

29500:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,860i can't.i married you.

29600:10:18,930 --> 00:10:20,500that's how we go the blender.

29700:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,460what's wrong?

29800:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,000nothing.

29900:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,230nothing's wrong.

30000:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,560what could be wrong?

30100:10:26,630 --> 00:10:28,730except that when you diei'm gonna find out

30200:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,830that your parting words

to comfort me for all eternity

30300:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,160were "cancel vogue."

30400:10:32,230 --> 00:10:34,430how can youopen my letter?

30500:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,730that was not a letter.

30600:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,160it was barely evena text message.

30700:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,730next time youwrite something

30800:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,330that short, at least havethe courtesy to make it rhyme.

30900:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,600marshall, wait.

31000:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,430this was our first fightas a married couple.

31100:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,560oh, baby.

31200:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,630oh...oh.

31300:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,500kids, there are a thousandamazing places you can find

31400:10:54,560 --> 00:10:55,860only in new york city.

31500:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,200instead of any of those,

31600:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,430colleen and lindsaytook us here.

31700:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,200colleen:this is our favorite restaurant

31800:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,460in the city.

31900:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,200yes, i'm surethis is the best

32000:11:04,260 --> 00:11:08,460of their 57 "spudtacular"east coast locations.

32100:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,960i'm going to runto the restroom.

32200:11:11,030 --> 00:11:14,160i'm gonna go, too.(growls)

32300:11:14,230 --> 00:11:17,560(ted groans, barney laughs)

32400:11:17,630 --> 00:11:18,930this is the easiest date ever.

32500:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,360you knowwhat i'm gonna try next?

32600:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,760a knock, knock joke.

32700:11:21,830 --> 00:11:23,830easiest?somehow we have managed

32800:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,900to find the two lamest

new yorkers of all time.

32900:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,730ted, ted, ted.dude,i am looking at you.

33000:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,060what?right.

33100:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,630stay with me.

33200:11:31,700 --> 00:11:35,060we are on the cusp of movingfrom out-of-towners

33300:11:35,130 --> 00:11:36,730to in-their-pantsers.

33400:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,560ay-o.

33500:11:38,630 --> 00:11:39,560all right,ignatius,

33600:11:39,630 --> 00:11:41,230one more hour.nice.

33700:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,100nice. hey, nice.hey...

33800:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,130hey, our friendsinvited us to a party.

33900:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,600you guys wantto come along?knock, knock.

34000:11:48,660 --> 00:11:49,960who's there?yes, we do.

34100:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,130(all laughing)

34200:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,130(cheering on television)quick announcement.

34300:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,660i am

34400:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,660so glad that you're here,fellow travelers.

34500:11:58,730 --> 00:12:00,400a couple rules--

34600:12:00,460 --> 00:12:01,900not even rules.

34700:12:01,960 --> 00:12:06,130let's call them guidelinesfor harmonious living.

34800:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,930guidelinefor harmonious living

34900:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,960number one--

35000:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,730the kitchen sink is for dishes,the toilet is for pee-pee.

35100:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,960g.f.h.l.

35200:12:15,030 --> 00:12:16,400number two--

35300:12:16,460 --> 00:12:19,030marijuana is illegalin the united states,

354

00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,200even when bakedinto a blueberry muffin

35500:12:21,260 --> 00:12:24,000that someone might mistakenlyeat for breakfast

35600:12:24,060 --> 00:12:27,330right before they leave fortheir job as a tv newscaster.

35700:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,530"this just in:

35800:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,700look at my hand,how weird is my hand?"

35900:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,660is not an appropriate thingto say on the air.

36000:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,100and number three, i...

36100:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,160(all cheering)

36200:12:40,930 --> 00:12:44,460and number three is please keepthe noise to a minimum.

36300:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,460i have to take a nap.

36400:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,830i'm still pretty baked.

36500:12:51,260 --> 00:12:52,660(gasps)

36600:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,330everything's so bright,even at night.

36700:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,930

no wonderthe city never sleeps.

36800:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000(barney and women laughing)

36900:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,000hey, if we'regoing north,

37000:13:00,060 --> 00:13:01,630why did we cross over the fdr?

37100:13:01,700 --> 00:13:02,860we should have taken the hudson.

37200:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,900(scoffing):now he knowsall the streets.

37300:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,030someone's been watchingtoo many steinfeld reruns.

37400:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,030(women laughing)

37500:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,260(laughs sarcastically)

37600:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,660where are we even going anyway?

37700:13:10,730 --> 00:13:12,300148th andbrook avenue.

37800:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,760a hundred-- in the south bronxat this time of night?

37900:13:15,830 --> 00:13:16,860we're going to get killed.

38000:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,330ted, i think

these local new yorkers

38100:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,960know more about the citythan we do, so relax.

38200:13:23,030 --> 00:13:25,860we're in very capable hands.

38300:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,360(siren wails)

38400:13:27,430 --> 00:13:29,400there were three of them,at least two guns--

38500:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,700they took alloumoney.

38600:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,700well, i only hadtraveler's checks.

38700:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,960hey, babe.

38800:13:37,030 --> 00:13:39,560i've been thinkingabout our fight.

38900:13:39,630 --> 00:13:40,830yes?

39000:13:40,900 --> 00:13:44,160i'm really, really...

39100:13:44,230 --> 00:13:46,900surprised that you haven'tapologized to me yet.

39200:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,030wow, you really wantto open this up again.

39300:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,960oh, i forgot,

you open everything up,

39400:13:54,030 --> 00:13:55,830even if you're not supposed tountil i'm dead.

39500:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,830you know that thisis important to me.

39600:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,330why won't you justwrite the letter?

39700:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,400because i can't bear thethought of not being with you,

39800:14:02,460 --> 00:14:05,700not even for long enoughto write you a stupid letter.

39900:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,260really?

40000:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,000yes, really.

40100:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,860plus, i knowas soon as i write it,

40200:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,100you're just going to openit up and read it again.

40300:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,900lily, i won't,i promise.

40400:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960okay.

40500:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,030i'll write you a letterfor my death folder.

406

00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,260do you mind, um,maybe slipping

40700:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,800in a little bit ofdirty stuff, too?

40800:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,330i tell you what.

40900:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,360how about i make itall dirty stuff

41000:14:29,430 --> 00:14:32,130and slip ina little clean stuff?

41100:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,500you're the best.

41200:14:33,560 --> 00:14:37,200and maybe acouple polaroids?

41300:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,000come on,let's get out of here.

41400:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,560this night's a disaster.what?!

41500:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,560this night couldn'thave gone any better.

41600:14:44,630 --> 00:14:45,730we just surviveda mugging.

41700:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,100you know whatthat means.

41800:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,200"thank god we're alive" sex.

41900:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,200"thank god we'realive" sex.

42000:14:50,260 --> 00:14:51,830it's even better

42100:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,900than "i can't believe youjust proposed to me" sex,

42200:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,830which i've only had,like, four or five times.

42300:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,430ted, please, weare so close.

42400:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,130all right, i'm in.

42500:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,260i've never worked this hardfor anything in my life.

42600:15:03,230 --> 00:15:04,160whew!

42700:15:04,230 --> 00:15:05,560wow, i thinkwe all need

42800:15:05,630 --> 00:15:08,160to go back to our placeand recover.

42900:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,160yeah.

43000:15:09,230 --> 00:15:10,760i just wantto celebrate

43100:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,400the fact that

we survived.

43200:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,400you know?

43300:15:13,460 --> 00:15:14,560mm-hmm.

43400:15:14,630 --> 00:15:15,930me, too.

43500:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,960so where doyou live?

43600:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,560what, west village?close.

43700:15:19,630 --> 00:15:21,430west orange.

43800:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,300west orange,new jersey?yeah.

43900:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,330you guys live in new jersey,not new york?

44000:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,760theodore.yep.

44100:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,760new jersey?teddy.yeah, but don't worry,

44200:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,500it's pretty much new york.ted:oh.

44300:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,530no.

44400:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,000oh, no.

44500:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,800oh, no.new jersey is not"pretty much new york."

44600:15:38,860 --> 00:15:42,100you are not"pretty much new yorkers."

44700:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,100and how wouldyou know?because i live here.

44800:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,600that's right,i live here.

44900:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,000yes, we're full of crap.

45000:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,860yes, we pretendedto be from out of town

45100:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,530so we could sleep with youand leave in the morning.

45200:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,300but you know what'seven worse than that?

45300:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,260saying you're a new yorkerwhen you're not.

45400:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,160because this is thegreatest city in the world

45500:15:57,230 --> 00:16:00,130and you have to earn the rightto call yourself a new yorker.

45600:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,800so why don'tyou girls crawl

45700:16:01,860 --> 00:16:05,130into the open sewer pipeyou call the holland tunnel

45800:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,460and flush yourselves backto "pretty much new york"?

45900:16:08,530 --> 00:16:09,460because iwill do a lot

46000:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,160to get laid,

46100:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,900but i am not goingto new jersey!

46200:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960(huffs)

46300:16:17,030 --> 00:16:21,730(in accent):you're not from missouri?

46400:16:23,060 --> 00:16:26,630well, i will bea monkey's unc...

46500:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,500ew.right.

46600:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,600can we geta ride?

46700:16:32,130 --> 00:16:34,060hey, um, sir,

46800:16:34,130 --> 00:16:35,830can we get

a ride, too?

46900:16:35,900 --> 00:16:38,130newark, born and raised.

47000:16:41,900 --> 00:16:44,330(drumming)

47100:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,400(sighs)

47200:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,500can you please keep it down?

47300:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,930(sighs)

47400:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000what happened to you, man?

47500:16:56,060 --> 00:16:58,960you said you wouldn'tchange, but look at you.

47600:16:59,030 --> 00:17:02,930no more tan,no more beaded braids,

47700:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,330no more lush,

47800:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,060untamed forestof leg and armpit hair.

47900:17:08,130 --> 00:17:09,230you're backat work.

48000:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,500what gives?

48100:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,500well, i haveto have a job.

482

00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,000"i have to have a job."

48300:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,360god, that's so american.

48400:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,500i'm canadian.you know that.

48500:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,560what about the important thingslike making your own jewelry

48600:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,000and lyingon the beach

48700:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,160and thinking about peace?

48800:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,230god, don'tyou care

48900:17:28,300 --> 00:17:31,660about thinking about peace?

49000:17:31,730 --> 00:17:33,530wow.

49100:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,060i just realized something.

49200:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,800that you'velost your way.

49300:17:36,860 --> 00:17:37,800no,

49400:17:37,860 --> 00:17:39,200that you really suck.

49500:17:39,260 --> 00:17:41,060you're boring and me

49600:17:41,130 --> 00:17:42,430and you're getting sandeverywhere.

49700:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,900seriously, where isall the sand coming from?

49800:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,100you're not the real me.

49900:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,530all you are is me on vacation

50000:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,500trying to get awayfrom a break-up.

50100:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,700don't you remember argentina?

50200:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,760don't you wantto go back?

50300:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,030what are you doing?

50400:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,100shh...

50500:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,000let this happen.

50600:18:13,030 --> 00:18:15,430(robin gasps, drumming)

50700:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,300all right, everyone out.

50800:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,400i said everyone out!

50900:18:29,430 --> 00:18:32,230(frustrated growl)

51000:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,830(drumming stops,panicked shouting)

51100:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,800all right, we're leaving,we're leaving, okay.

51200:18:41,860 --> 00:18:44,060michael moore was so rightabout americans.

51300:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,430i'm canadian!

51400:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,900robin,

51500:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,500you okay?

51600:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,560no, i'm not.

51700:18:54,630 --> 00:18:57,160listen, gael,

51800:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,730i need to talk to youabout something.

51900:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,760after they broke up,robin went back to being robin.

52000:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,000(sighs)

52100:19:02,060 --> 00:19:03,960welcome home, scherbatsky.

52200:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,900oh, good to be back.

52300:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,400although it's weird.

52400:19:07,460 --> 00:19:09,900vacation robin popped intomy dream again last night.

52500:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,660listening.

52600:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,260this time we went all the way.

52700:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,660tell youone thing.

52800:19:14,730 --> 00:19:17,630->1

52900:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,130wñw?okay, i'm done..

53000:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,500but i really don't want youreading this unless...

53100:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,900you know, something happens.

53200:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,500can you swear to meyou won't open it?

53300:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,330totally. what does it say?

53400:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,800marshall, i'm serious.

53500:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,560okay.

53600:19:40,630 --> 00:19:43,730i promise i won't, i won'topen that until you're dead.

537

00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,160(quietly):okay.

53800:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,000and through 22 wonderful yearsof marriage,

53900:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,360marshall kept his promise

54000:19:49,430 --> 00:19:53,800until november 1 of last yearwhen, sadly...

54100:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,860"busted! i knewyou'd read this.

54200:20:10,930 --> 00:20:13,860you suck, marshall,you totally suck."

54300:20:16,260 --> 00:20:18,230that's it?

54400:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,660i suck?

54500:20:20,730 --> 00:20:21,730lily.yes, you suck.

54600:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,330you said you wouldn't read it

54700:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,000and you did.well, you didn't keepyour promise either.

54800:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,930i don't see any dirty picturesin here.

54900:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000oh, fine,

55000:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,260i'll take the dirty pictures.

55100:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,730i don't want 'em now.

55200:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,830what is that supposed to mean?

55300:20:33,900 --> 00:20:34,830what?!

55400:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,060nothing.

55500:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,060nothing.

55600:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,100you're beautiful.

55700:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,400i would lovethe photos.

55800:20:39,460 --> 00:20:57,160have i told you howbeautiful you look?

55900:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000

000:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00www.tvsubtitles.net

How I Met Your Mother - 3x02 - We'Re Not From Here.en

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