HOPE -FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23 , 2012

HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENTTHROUGH MATTERING

GRAY POEHNELL

Cannexus, January 23, [email protected]

1HOPE-FILLED

ENGAGEMENT

@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through

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“CAREER STUFF”

CAN SEEM HOPELESS


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CAREER

LIFE


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AN ALTERNATIVE

APPROACH


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HOPE

@2011, Ergon Communications@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through

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HOPE-FILLED

ENVIRONMENT


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HOPE

balance

d

inclusiv

e

engagin

g

holistic

mattering

realisticimaginativ

e

spiritual

creativesimple flexible

positive

supportiv

e gratitude

& joy

resiliency

trust


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2WHAT IS

MATTERING


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beliefs people have, whether right or wrong, that they matter to someone else, that they are the object of someone else’s attention, and that others care about them and appreciate them.

MATTERING, Amundson, Active Engagement


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3MATTERING

MATTERS


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MATTERING


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HOPEWILLINGNESS TO

TRY

“what difference does it make?”“so what?”“who cares?”“that’s just the way it is”“what’s the use?”“what’s the point of trying?”“why bother?”“I can’t make a difference”

I DON’T MATTER - THERE IS NO HOPE - SO WHY TRY


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MATTERsubstance

tangible

VISIBLITY


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MATTERINGsubstance

tangible

VISIBLITY &

RECOGNITION


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VALUE

MATTERINGsubstance

tangible

MAKING A DIFFEREN

CEimportance

significance

meaning

VISIBLITY &

RECOGNITION


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INVISIBLE

PEOPLE


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Liu Bolin: the Vanishing Artist


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INVISIBLE

TO THEMSELVES


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LEARNED

HELPLESSNESS/HOPELESSNESS


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the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.

LEARNED HELPLESSNESSSeligman, Learned Optimism


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Life Experiences

Negative Explanatory Style

Nothing I domatters

Why try?

Nothing I do will ever matter


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INVISIBLE

TO OTHERS


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CHICAGOMr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos

If someone stood up in a crowd And raised his voice up way out loudAnd waved his arm and shook his leg

You'd notice him If someone in the movie showYelled "Fire in the second row

This whole place is a powder keg!”You'd notice him


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And even without clucking like a henEveryone gets noticed, now and then,

Unless, of course, that personage should be

Invisible, inconsequential me! CellophaneMister Cellophane

Shoulda been my nameMister Cellophane'Cause you can look right

through meWalk right by me

And never know I'm there….


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… A human being's made of more than air

With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there

Unless that human bein' next to youIs unimpressive, undistinguished

You know who...Cellophane

Mister CellophaneShoulda been my nameMister Cellophane

'Cause you can look right through meWalk right by me

And never know I'm there…


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SOME SYSTEMIC

CHALLENGES


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goals

work

exp

ed

uca

tion

skills, etc

CAREER

LIFE


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WE SEE

WHAT MOST DON’T


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goals

wor

k ex

p

education

skills, etc

CAREER

LIFE Engage people wherethey are engaged in life!!


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goals

wor

k ex

p

education

skills, etc

CAREER

LIFE

@2011, Ergon Communications 34Hope-Filled Engagement

Engage people wherethey are engaged in life!!

WE HELP PEOPLE TO SEE

WHAT THEY CAN’T SEE


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I HAVE VALUE!

WHAT I DO MAKES A

DIFFERENCE!


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4INSIGHTFUL

CROSS-TRAINING


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BUTTERFLY EFFECT


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every decision we make and everything we do no matter how smallhas a profound effect on the world around us

BUTTERFLY EFFECT


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Sensitive Dependence on Initial Conditions

BUTTERFLY EFFECT


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even small and seemingly insignificant changes at the start of a process can produce significantly different results

BUTTERFLY EFFECT


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@2010, Gray Poehnell Hope-Filled Engagement 42

SMALL CHANGE

BIG DIFFERENCE


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WHAT SMALL CHANGES

COULD YOU MAKE?


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LEARNED OPTIMISM:

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFEMartin E. Seligman


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LEARNED

HELPLESSNESS


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the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.

LEARNED HELPLESSNESSSeligman, Learned Optimism


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EXPLANATORY

STYLE


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the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen

EXPLANATORY STYLESeligman, Learned Optimism


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Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized, when you encounter [life experiences]I think of your explanatory style as reflecting “the word in your heart.” Each of us carries a word in his heart, a “no” or a “yes.”



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explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world—whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless



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THREE DIMENSIONS OF

EXPLANATORY STYLE


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PERMANENCE Temporary“this time”

Permanent“always happens”

PERVASIVENESS

Specific“this situation”

Universal“whatever I do”

PERSONALIZATION

External“other factors”

Internal“It’s my fault”

pessimistic optimistic

EXPLANATORY STYLE

LEARNED OPTIMISM

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS


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Life Experiences

Negative Explanatory Style

Nothing I domatters

Why try?

Nothing I do will ever matter


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LEARNED HELPLESSN

ESS

Life Experiences

PositiveExplanatory Style

I matter.

I’ll try.

I can makea difference.


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LEARNED OPTIMISM

5SOME PRACTIAL THINGS

I FIND HELPFUL


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look and listen for the signsof helplessness, hopelessness,for the signs that people don’t think they matter

OBSERVANT


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Put myself into the shoes of those who don’t think they matteror that anything they do matters.Explore diversity.

EMPATHY


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What are they seeing and hearing when meeting me?What impact am I having on them?More hopeful or more hopeless?

SELF-AWARE


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ToneFirst contactConnectingActive ListeningValuingHopefulCreative

ATMOSPHERE AND ENVIRONMENT


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Create experiences in whichpeople are surprised by what they have in their lives and by what they can do.

SURPRISE EXPERIENCES


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Favourite Things

up to 12 things I like to do?

last time?

cost / free?

planned/spontaneous?

alone / others?

mind, body, emotion, spirit?

cooking

craf

ts

gam

es

spirituality

family/friends movies

PE

MS

PE

PE”MS

3 days

1 da

y

1 w

eek

today

today1 month

$

$F

F

F$

S/P

PS

/P

S/P

SP

A

AO

A/O

OO


Enable people to lookat themselves and their livesfrom multiple perspectives,especially the hopeful ones.

MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES


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What do people need to know and to be able to doIn order for what I am askingthem to do?What do I have to equip them with before they cando what I ask them to do?

BACKSWING & EQUIPPING


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Learned helplessness can be unlearned.How can I help people findmore hopeful explanationsfor the life experiences that have taught them that they don’t matter.

ALTERNATIVE EXPLANATIONS


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learning a set of skills about how to talk to yourself when you suffer a personal defeat. from a more encouraging viewpoint.

LEARNED OPTIMISM & SELF-TALKSeligman, Learned Optimism


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What is a “skill?”

SKILL“strength, good at”

NOSKILL

SKILL“something you do”

HOPELESS

HOPE-FILLED

TRADITIONAL VIEW OF

SUCCESS


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Ability

+Motivation

⇓SUCCESS


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EXPANDED VIEW OF

SUCCESS


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Ability

+Motivation

+Optimism

⇓SUCCESS


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HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENTTHROUGH MATTERING

GRAY POEHNELL

Cannexus, January 23, [email protected]

HOPE -FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23 , 2012

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