1.1(]NK!

Instrumentauon

Two versions are availabie: a €"piece and a 9-piece version

6 p!9!9

Music

Scele One

DRAKE:

ACT ONE

Music No. 1 A POULTRY TALE(Drake,Ida, Turkey, Henrietta, Cat, Gnce, Maureen)

Reed (Flute / Clarinet / Alto Saxophone)

Trumpet / Flugeihorncuitar (Acoustic / Electric,u Steel)Keyboard / Piatro Conductor

shndrd Drum Kn t&J

Bell

Dorble B*s / Bas Guitar

h is the beginning of a Elonoa' 'unnd\ &ry o t in tlE country. The cotn r goldm

vLloo, the aax are sr*n and the hay is stacked up in the neadal$. Standing in the

iunsb;ne is an oA famhouse, and bebind the famhouse n a sligbtb nalE

tlisbe*lkd. part of the fam, is a lahe. nrck beds of b reba sutound th kke aiththeir s&t heads lihe siant ciga$ pointing sh\rd'd. The watet\ alge b a faaonteneetiA pldce fat d ldietJ offam aninah, anl it k bere tnat @E dncoLv DLAKEsixing ii\ Lvsid" tbe udter. He rs soon joined lry bk spott*, IDA' GMCETURKEY, HENRIET/A, MAUREEN, and tte CAT

9'pi€ce

L Reed 1 (Flute / Piccolo / Alto Saxophone)

2. Reed 2 (Claliret / Bass Clarinet / Barirone Suophone)3. Horn4. Tmmpet / Flugelhorn5. Gr:itar (Acoustic / Electric / Steel)

6. Keyboard / Piano Conductor

shnd*d Drun Kit/,r

Be

CelloDouble Bss / Ba$ cuitar

IN THIS BACK\(ATER OF ENGLAND\qHERI THE PACE OF I-IFE IS SLO\IT

AND THE LIIIES ON THE LAKIARE BROAD AND LUSH\rc'RE ALL LTVING HERE IN CLOWRAND THE MATING SEASON'S OVERSO TI]ERI VON'T BB CAUSEFOR ANYONE TO BLUSHIN OI ]R LAND SOTH GREEN AND PLEASANTtvl RY BANTA]\,1, DUCK A\D lr{l A5ANTIF THEY I-'.{D THEM,\flOULD BE \TALKING ARM IN ARMFOR OUR IIIE IS GOOD AND STEADYTILL \/T'RE PLUCKED AND O\EN READYIT'S A POULTRY TALEOF FOI-K DOWN ON THE FARM

THF,RE'S A TURI(EY \v,ITH A GOBBLE,

VATCH HIS !(ATTLE START TO \flOB}LEri{/HEN THE ROOSTER COCK'A'DOODLESTI'IE AI-ARM

TURKEY enter'.

HONK!

\flE'VE GOTPT]LLETS, \I/E'VE GOT CHICKENS,(DRAKE)

HENRIETTA .nte$, dainE her nonins detohts, unth ),IAURLEN, who b)ng:glJis for the 'bab shouo'.

w[ \ r coT QUAI] 5.

AND\OHAT THE DICKENSIT'S A POULTRY TALEOF FOLK DO\(N ON THI FARM

VHAT A GORGEOUS \ISION THIS IS

I'I'S D{, \HF \ MY MI\SUS,SO FORGIVE ME IF TM LAYING ON TI"IE SMARM,SHE GOES IN FOR HEATED QUACKINGTO POINT OUT THE SKILLS fM LACKING

+ IDA/HFN./MAI,'REEN/Tl IRKFYT

MATIREEN/HEN.:

rT,S A POULTRYTALEOF FOLK DOVN ON TI.IE FARM

COME ON DOWN A]\ID DON'T BE STN"\NGERSIN OUR DUCKYARD OF FRIE-RANGERSIT'S A POULTRY TALEOF FOLK DO'WN ON THE FARM

HERE \GIERT WATERFO\(/L I{A\E \(/ADDLEDLITTLE CHICKS ARE MOLLY.CODDLED

FOR THE CAT \{OULD LIKE TO DO THEMGR]EVOUS HARMHF'S OIIR ONLYSOURCE OF VORRYFEATHERS RARELY GET TO FLURRY

+ HEN./TURKEY/DRAKR: IT'S A POULTRY TALE

OF FOLK DO\\N ON THE FARM

The CAT nict?r his head up fion berind d cl'n? of bubutus

HONKI

CAT: }IAIHO\(THEYFLATTERTHEMSELVESI NEVER SHO\(/ MUCH INT'RISTiN THIS GROUPI ADMIT IM QUITE A GLUTTON,tsUT THIS FEATHERED FORM OF MUTTON\(OULDN'T EVEN MAKE A FALATABLE SOUP

BUT \(HEN THOSE LITTLE DUCKLINGS IIATCTITFIAT'S A FLAVOUR YOU \flON'T MATCHTHEY'RE DELICIOUSAND I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGHAS A FELON \{HO IS FELINEYOU \(]LL SEE ME MAKE A BEELINEFOR THOSE TENDER LITTLE

JUICY BALLS OF FLUFI!

7he folk@ing cdroPhonl of squd@hins prcmpx the CAT ta bde himelf again

MAUREEN: BO,GER.DOC.A.DER. BO.GER DOC-E-DERBO,GER.DOC.A DER. BO.GER.DOC-E-DER

\/AH \flA.UHI \(AHI \(/AF{! \(/AH! \(/AH!

\7AH!\qAHI

BOC BO.GA-DER! BOC.BO.GA DER!

GOBBLE! GOBBLEI

\/AH, BUilR, mBBLE /s,..,

IN OI JR \/ATERFO\(/L REGATTATHERE'S A MOORHEN FOND OF CHAfiER

AND A MANDARIN \OITH ORIENTAL CHARMYOU'LI FIND EVERY GOOSE OR GANDER

DRAKE:

IDA:

MAL]REEN/HEN,:

T{-]RKEY:

ALL:

IDA/HEN./DRAKE/TUR]GY:

+ MAUREEN:

THOUGH OF COTIRSE fM RATHER GRANDER

GRACE dter.

GRACE:

+ IDA/HEN./DRAKE/TIIRKEY/MAT]RF,EN: IT,S A POULTRY TALE

+ CAT:

ALL:

HONKI

OF FOLK DOY,N ON THE FARM

\./E MAY STR]KE SOME CLASSIC POSES\ND \/F AIL IIAVF I {RSON'S NOSESBUT TI]AT DOESN'T MEANYOU'LL HEAR A SINGIE PSALMFOR ALL REVERENCE IS REJECTEDBI,ATANT FOIifi, PI,AY IS SI IS?FCTFDIT'S A POULTRY TAI-EOF FOI-K DOIflN ON THF FARM

COME ON DO\X4{,A {D DON'T BE STRANGERS

IN OIJR DUCKYARD OF I Rlf RANCLRS

IT'S A IOULTRY TALEIT'S A POULTRY TALEN'S A POULTRY TALEOI FOLK DO\/N ON THE FARMA-ARM-A,ARM}GAD.EHR!

IMusic No. 1a " POULTRY PI-AYOUTOptional Instrumentall

At t e eni of the song delyone flshes ofstage and wc are W @nh a dad offeatbos da.endins eound IDA, @ho tidie' p alarnd. hel nest. l6L protr"llinsaba\,e lhc pd!? of ,np @ a"e 1ta ohe es, aad a h/8" b"au n ,sz. tDA ,po:DMK.E of'tale

IDA: DrakelDrak€!Ir's no good paddling aw3y,I've ses, you.

HONKI

DkaKE entets 'heEtihu.

(IDA'

DRAKE:

IDA:

And ft doesn\ do for a duck to look sheepish, it confuses

Flow's it golng, Ida? You sdll sitring) I duolo, it's alright

\(ell if you liLe the sound of n so nuch why don't youtake a turn on the nesr? And wipe your websl I just did thefloor thi morning.

Oh ldr, I'd love ro h:"e a crack :]i sitring on the eggs for a

bir, bur you look so confonable up rhere it seems a shame

Huh, and whar about rhat extension you pror sed to bLrild

on the nestl lt's going to be very cramped when the litdeones arrive - especialLy v irh th* one big egg in the clutch,goodnes knows nhat size th;n chick is going to be.

Yo. koow. I reclor rh"Lmrgbrbe:'ur[1 'egg.

Oh, Drake!

I hrd the same problem with ny ex.

l{uh, here ve go.

Ifle had a whole pack of troubles with rhe young ones Ican tell you. Thq;'re afrald of the wrter. She had me

running up and down rhe bank shouting 'BernardMaahews" and they still wouldn\ go in!

DnLe, how would a mrkey egg get to be ir my nesrl Musr

be your side o{ rhe family.

\{re'll just have to wan ard see who he rakes afrer, won't

DRAKE:

IDA:

DRAKE:

IDA:

DRAI{I:

IDA:

DRAKN:

lDAl

DRAI(E:

HONKI

IDA:

DRAKF:

bcinUYes,dear.

Anlryav, nL- 0\.

MusicNo.2 THEJOY OF MOTHERHOOD(tda, lraureen)

I promised the Rooster thar I'd help him count hischickens. Shall I seeyou brck here)

\reJl where else do you suppose I'm going to be?IDA:

DRAKE dils. IDA let mes tittinean bet erq$, t*isneA tu bd lat.

AS A DUCK\(HEN YOU'RE STUCKSAT SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR NESTTIIEN AT BESTYOU GET BORED . . .TFIERE GOES DRAKEON THF T,AKF,

I CAN SEE HIM THROUGH THE RUSHESAIL THE TIMEFEELING I'MJUST IGNOREDI DON'T PRETEND ]TIAT THIS IS ALI HIS DOINGI'M A SUCKTR FOR THE BILIINGAND THE COOING

BUT \{HEN YOU HEAR THAT PITTER PATTEROF TINY FEET IT DOESN'T MATTERHO\/ LONG IVE HAD TO SIT HEREMINDING MY BROODTHOSE LTTTLE HEADS SO SOFI AND DO\XNYTHEIR BAtsY BODS Arl- GOLDEN BRO\{AIYTFIE BEAKS CONSTANTLY OPENII/AIIING FOR FOOD

rT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERFIOODTHOSE LITTLE DUCKLINGS

I.IONK!

ODA' VALKING ROUND IN A LINErLL DO \fIIAT ANY OftIER MOTHER WOULDTO TRY TO DO MY BEST AT BRINGING UI MINEIT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERHOODTHOSE LITTLE PERJ$THAT MAKE IT AIL SEEM \(ORTHWHTLErLL DO \{'IIAT A\ry OTHER MOTHER \(OULDTO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUTAND LIVING IN STI'I-E

l,,t AUREEN, the chee1f,l, neryhkurb noorben, enter betb.

MATTREEN:

IDA:

MAURIEN:

IDA:

MAUREEN:

IDA:

MAUREEN:

IDA:

Morning, Ida.

Morning, Maureen.

How is rhe nothert be?

She'd be better il the father-who-was was berter at beingrhe farher-vho'is. I somerines think I'd hate been bener

off pairing with a decoy duck

I'm sure Drake will nake r mmellour darl when the

lamily arrives.

Not him. Duck by oame and duck by nature'ducking outof his responsibikies. pbe shrfts position) Ooh.t say it btnsvere meant {or sirthg on eggs all &y, rhen they should

have been designed with vhopping great dimples in thert

Ooh, Ida, thehave to go?

rhought. How nuch longer do you

Vell, by my reckoning they should be ort by now. I wentto all of ny ante"natai hatching clarses, ro by drar self-

snisfied Stork, and she said about r fonnight, but wo

Oh wel1, rhe best rhingscome to those who wair.MAIJREBN:

IJONKI

MALIRBIN:

IDA:

trLAUREEN:

BOTH:

I don'r ktrov. v/hy do lJe pu! ourselves rhrough Everyspring ir's exactly the same.

Bur ju$ rhink of rhe rewards - al1 those lorely lirdeducklings.

All those beals to feed.

VaLing you up at a1l houn.

Gening inro deep water.

Attracting unwanted admiren . . .

(in bushed tones) . . .llke the Cat. rifihy do we pur ourselvesthrcugh irl

'COS VHTN YOU HEAR THAT DIBBLE DABBLEYOU'RI PROLTD TO SAY.HEY, THAT'S MY RABBLE"THEN \TATCH THEIR MAIDEN VOYAGEOUT FROM THE BANK

LIKE CHAMPAGNE CORKSYOU'IL SEE TIIEM BOBBING

ACCOMPANIED BY MOTHERS SOBBING

RTLITVED, THANKS BE TO NATURE,NOBODY SANK

lT's TFIE JOY . . .

Oh, prepare yourself, Ida.MAI,IREEN:

ft1 dlp i4th,pted b a .bippns .ond a ,he e:rs. jtan rc ha^h n hc ne,t. tDAdo5 b( bpdhtl| ptp"titet i't p'ppd"ah@ !o" rh bnh. Fau. pai^ al tcg, appa.dDo@ tbp..tse a/ltc ie' aad wad a-o"ad n ,np o'hnusi, hhe.v,hron,sd

HONKI

IDA:

BOTH:

IDA:

MAUREEN;

IDA:

MAUREEN:

IDA:

ROTH:

IDA:

MALIREEN:

IDA:

BOTH:

IT'S THE JOY

IT'S THT IOY

IT'S THE JOY

JOY,

JOY,

JOY,

JOY,

IT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERHOODTHOST LITTLE PERKS

THAT N'I-\KE 11 ALL SEEM \flORTH\flHILEI'LL DO WHAT ANY OTHER MOT'F{ER \{OULD

TO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUTAND I.I\']NG IN STI'I"E

TO GET THOSE DUCKS DICKED OUTAND LI\']NG

TO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUTAND LIVING

IN STI'I-E

IDA t"ms to het n*t f ll oJ DUCKLINGS.

IDA: My babiesl

The four DUCKLINGS . BILLY, BEAKY, DOWTY anl FLUFF, bop down Jionthe nen. Inttinlb thet laah confued, not sure uhicb ofthe two adalt ktds is Mum'. bxt hUL|REEN points nthrcastbdlb dt IDA.

(IDA:) QuacLr Quackl

HONK! 1l

\

DUCKLINGS: Quack!Qua€k!

MAUREEN: Oh, Ida. They're the loveliesr little ductlings I have everset my eyes on. They're the image of their farher.

Thanksl spealing of Daddy, Maureen would you be a dear

"nd rry Lo find him ior n e? He. probrbly rrkdB wive'

down at rhe local watering hole.

Abighi (fo DUCKLINGS) Auntie Maur-Maur is off now,I'11 see you later.

IDA:

FLUFF:

BEAKY:

BTILY:

DO'VNY:

BEAKY:

Egg-cellentl

How come he got.such a big egg?

Yeah, we all got cranped into a regulu shell, but that onegot a queen-sized osrrich job.

ICs not fair, Mama.

No, Mama, ir's nor hir.

Hi, kids. rn your Dad.

Take a good look ar hirn because you probably wonl see

him that ofren. Vell, true to form you missed it, the pftrer'patter of perire paddles.

\(ell I'm here now. oK, kids, , ,ho's for r swim?

MAUREEN:

MAUREEN e.itt.

BEAKY:

FLUFF:

BILLY:

DO\(}{Y:

IDA:

A seneral connotion b,eak' out. IDA climk brck olto tbe hg e&. DRAKE re.

Auntie Maur-Maurl Vhal a weird name.

Vhat a big world it is.

I was getting scrambled inside that egg.

Don't go thinking rhar this is the whoie world! lt stretchesfar beyond the other side oI the lake right into the vicarage- rhough I've never been that far myself.

\flicled - 1et s explore.

Vait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wair, q,ait. There are one orrwo nest rules before you paddle off. Nurnber One, no werwebs in rhe nesq Nuber Two, you musr fearher yourovn ne$ €very noffins; Number Three, no quakingafEr sunseti Number Four, no piankton bets-eer meals;Number I-... wair I minu,.. 1ou re nor rll bae.

Hey guys, ere s going to be another rnember of rhe gang.

(peering into the nat) Oh, qtack! And itl the big one.

Look at the shell on thar!

DRAKE

IDA:

DRAKE:

BEAKY:

IDA:

DMKE bsues each of the DUCKLINGS v,ith a r"bb ing each bedring an 'L'

Ito /r.4, \ haCs th€ matt€r) All that siting around taLen itout of you)

IDA: There's srill one to harch, Dumb-Cluck. The Big One

DRAKE: lrt me see that egg again.

Itt definnely r turkey. You'Il never get it to go in the

warer. Just leave it. (l rrc to the DUCKLINCS e,ho arcnasing about) Oy, cut th^t out. (Bdch to IDA) Con]r' 3J'd

reach rhe other ones to swir:n properly.

FLUFF:

IDA:

BILLY:

HONKI HONK! t3

You teach the orher ones to swim properly. I migh 3s wellsit for a bit longer. I've sat for so long a few dals morewonl make any difference.

\(rhatever you say, dear. 17o the DUCKLINGS) Come or.,last one to the lake's : Coot. fhe DUCKLINGS n*b afi)He1 wait for rne!

IX/e stdt rpitb IDA on the nest.

Music No.3 DIFFERENT (Pre-r€prise)(td")

\OHAT A ROLE!ONLY GOOD FOR KEEPING EGG.SHELLS \fARMON THE WHOLE THEY HAVE AL\flAYS BEENMORI 1JNIFORM

THTS ONI'S DIFFERENTTHIS ONE'S DITFERENT FROM THE RISTI DON'T BEUEVE A TUR]<EY'S EGGCOULD FAIL INTO MY NISTIT'S JUST A FREAK OF NATUREJUST A LARGER GRADEOF ALL THE OTHER EGGS I'VE E\ER LAID , , .THIS ONE'S DIIFERENT

HonLI

\6ais wrong wifi your quackl You're not like yourbrot hen ud rlte-s. r\eyie . . ec"tulpt . . . nd, . . . tee upl

HonL!

I{ I say 'Bunerball' does that bother you at all? No? Vhatabout 'water'l How would you like ro go for a swirnl

ldlovero...M.rml

Thank heavens for that! fHr.rgg,ng him)I knew yot wereone of mine. Now, your father has taken the orhers off fortheir fnst swimnring leson. So how about you and nedoing the same, right here at the water's edge. Nothing toofarcy mind just the basics to get yo',\ sraned. (lDA dips ,1

unb into tbe water) Ooooh. . . itt a bit parky, but we'llsoon warm up. The imponut thing is nor ro be atuaid of

I'm not afraid, Mama. Can we swim out to that islandt

Good gr:cious, no. It's {unher than you think. V/hy, Ihavent been out there since your farher and I were coun-ing . . . aad I didnl rnean to go that fr thenl Now, :re youreadyl

I'm ready.

Just do as I do and you should rrle ro ir like a d . . . lootudt him) yot shanld rake b h.

Music No, 4 HOLD YOUR HEAD I.? HIGH(Ida, Ugty, Fish)

HOLD YOIJB. HEAD UP HIGHLIKE THE MOST HAPPY FELLA\flHILE DOII,N BELOISfr EACH THIGH

UGLYI

IDA:

UGLYI

IDA:

UGLY;

IDA:

DRAKE:

DMKE altt.

Thre i a chipping sourul.

BUT THXRI'S DIFFERINT

Thae is a raching sound.

AND THERE'S DIFFERENI , . ,

IDA is lirted up on tlrc shaalllm af UGLY ds he enerse, fftn the esc.

UGLY: Honk!

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

IDA: oh my word!

(IDA'

HONKI

APROIOS A PROPELLERMUST KEEP PADDLING LIKE THE CI-AP?ERSYOU KIEP PADDLING \ilITH YOUR FU?PIRS\N'} LE SEEMING TO BE DRIAMING AND CALM

Like this)

ThaCs the way.

BEND YOUR KNTES\O SPLASHINC TLEAS!

Sory.

AND STEADY, IflATCH THAT EDDYTO YOIJT. RIGHT . . .DANGER SIGN

Danger sign?

THAT'S FISHING LINE

Fishing linel

\fHICH STMNGLESIF II TANGI.ES YOU UP TIGHT!6"/e, HE's A NATUR-ALIN A CLASS OF HIS OV,N

THIS IS I/ONDERFI,']-I AM FEILING FULL GRO\(/N

LOOK AT YOUYOU FIAVE EVIRY R.EASON TO

HOLD YOUR HEAD T]? HIGH

AS IF FRIE IROM ALL TROUBLESYOIJT. BACK STAYS MCE AND DRY

BUT MY BOTTOM'S iN BUBBLES

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLYI

IDAr

UGLY:

IDA:

BOTH:

IDA:

UGLY:

:i:r::i:t.itirir'i.r.ii

HONK! 15

BOTH:

IDA:

KEEP PADDLING LIKE TIIE CLAPPERS

JUST KEEP PADDLING \f]TH YOUR FLAPPERSTiiTIILE SEEMING TO BE DREAMING AND CALM

Let'stry a dive.

\hq dirn und*uater. 'there fokw an in*mnmta! 'ball,.t' during ulrcb tw go

ndenj:ater @hb UGLY dnd IDA into a nagialfurground ofFIsH dnd a4utt liji.

FISH: OH, OH, AH.

ne FISH cd out dd libt. ta dttract UGLY ta thir \tall' e.g: "Hook a haop anduin a ubopper", 'TicHe a troat uxb Jks on d stich', %ddb tddpole' - n bob d

blob", UGLY ts initirlly apprehe$iw.

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

Dont woffy, dear, they're only fish.

Fish?

DMtsE dnd DUCKLINGS appwr, noi- y, undzr uam, though do not 'ee

UGLY

FISH: WHATAGITTIT IS TO D RI]-TTHE TALENT'S IN THE BALANCEAND THE POISEBUT AS FISHITT ONLY I(/ISHTHAT DUCKITNGS \flOULD TRY SMMMINGVITH LESS NOISE

As the underuater seqaence ends, DMKE dtut tbe DUCKLINGS exit, tlrc FISHdi:perse, and IDA and UGLY Es'fae. h i: dfpdrent that IDA ts noe, exhaustda

SLOV THE PACE!

BUT I \(ANT TO GO FASTER

IT'S NOT A RACE

IT'S A SKILL I COTJLD MASTER

AND CLEARLY YOU ARE NBARLY FIT

(IDA'

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGIY:

HONK!

TO DROP

NO I'M NOT,I COULD CO O\ ALL DAY

HA\T A BREAK

I FEEL FRESH AS A DAISY

YO1JR LEGS MUST ACHE

\O THFY DON'T, ANE YOI CMZY:

SO MA)BB NOIf MY BABY lOE SHOULD STO?!

I/OULD ONI I,AP OF THE IAI.E BE OK?IT'S THE GREATEST TTI]NGCAN'T IvE II{}T ONE MORE TRY?

THIS IS KNACKIRINGII]E SMMS BITTER THAN I

PRETTY PLEASE

GNE ME STRENGTH

BEND THOSE KNIES

JUST ONE LENGTH'IHEN

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

Instumental dance break

BOTH:

IDA;

UGLY:

KEEP PADDLIAIG LIKE THE CL{,PERSJ.US'T KEIP PADDLING \']'] H YOUR FLAI,I,LRs\x,+{lI I SE|MINIC IO Bf DRTAMINC AND CA,LM

JUST BENEATH THE SURFACEYOU MAY STRUGGLE TO GET BY

BUT NOTHING CAN DETER YOU

HONKI 17

BOTH; IF YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD IJ? HIGH

At the end ofthe sons IDA ,xnd UGLY set ort afthe'@dte'and sbe tries to nakehin looh morc pmennl,te.

At tbis jrncture DRAKE anal the DUCKLINGS Mun f,em their suim.

IDA:

UGLYI

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

BEAKY:

DRAKE:

BEAKY:

DRAKE:

IDA:

DRAKE

IDA;

DR,{KE:

IDA:

There, dear. That lools rnuch betrcr . . .

VLat did you mern when you said I'n ror like mybrorhen and sisters? Vhst is different?

Vell, dear . . . for one thing I'm sure you cu svim muchbeter rhan they can.

Do you reail'- think so? And what else)

You musr try to remember, itt whatl inside that martels,not what we lool like.

VhaCs Mama laid?

ft! a son of orange preserte often {ound on roxr

No . . . whatl Mamr l4(. po;ntinsat UGLY)

Oh, my cod . . . Ida . . . now lisren very caretully, love. Ivant you !o walk towards me very slowly. No sudden

Vhat are you quacLing about?

Theret something behind you. Sonething . . . nor verynic€.

This is your son, dear.

Arargh... I'vecreateda moruter.

Don't be ridiculous. He\ just nor your normal run-otrhe-m lpond du.k. thafs rll.

,i

HONK!

Thals aiil lda, I have a reputarion. .

" i

I know, dear, aad I woutdnl brag abour ir i{ Lcre you.

I'm scared.

Ahaush yikd bi ) I @lJ yo,.r he,s a rurkey.

He is nor a rurkey. He loves the water.

(tuatrc L CLYand ta,nx,r,in. Cranberry wuce.

See. fie djdni e\tr nin.ht Now. l wlnl you alt ro sersP'1rcPo up. n rLe orhs m"noen or *ed.uc \ ard rnd be eduured jn rhe wa1 , or rhe wortd. DraL.el

HONKI 19

DRAKE:

IDA:

FIUFF:

DRAKE:

IDA;

DRAKE:

IDA:

IDAI

DUCKLINGS/DRAKEI

DRAKEj

IDA:

DUCKLINGS. LOOKATHMLEGS ARE BANDY

BILLYI

DUCKLINGS:

UGLY:

DO\/NY:

AND THE KNEES ARE KNOCKEDLOOK AT HN4

.

DAD VAS OB\IOUSLY EGG-SHELL-SHOCKED

BET THX NEIGHBOIJRS SCRIAM AND HOWLI(/HEN THEY SEE OUR BROODTIE'S THE FOUIEST \/ATXRTOVL

\(HY ARE YOU SO RUDE?

Oooh, rouchy

I,AUREEN enters hwrbd.l1.

, Muric No.5 LOOK AT HIMrldr. D,rl<e. Ugty. Henriefla, fukey. Clr. G?ce. \,t"ureen. Dr-.trtinp7

DUCKLINGS: IOOKATHIM!

NOTJf THT\ CHILDREN,IET'S NOTMAKE A FUSS

IOOK AT HIM!

ARE YOU SUR.E HE'S RIALLY ONE OF US?

}AMILY LIKENXSS ISN'T STRONGSTIIL YOU \flON'T I'OKE FUNALL OF YOU MUST GET AIONGHE'S A'SPECL{L'SON

Come :long. Jt of yoL, nor. fo ow me. Bur na) Lto"e rome /r rlt llmej or vou Try ga trodden on. And oewrre oI

IDA:

MATIREEN:

Sln sees UGLY

Hello, Maureen.

Hello, Ida. Hello, Drake. Ifhat a splendid brood. Did thebig egg hatch out alrigh . . .

Ard!LOOK AT HIMCOME ON, IDA, TELL ME \OHAT \(/ENT \(/RONGILOOK AT tsIIMDID YOU LTAVE HIM IN THE EGG TOO LONG?

I ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR ?IUCKSTRICTIY ENTRq NOUSHE MAY BE NO PIN,UP DUCKNEITHIR, DEAR, ARE YOU!

\(elM mr.rst be going. I head the children from thefarmhouse are throwing French bread into rhe water. Itsor:nds trAs chic . . . I don't want to miss out.

I'4AUREEN 'c"nies

of rioing UGLY a wide beltb.

IDA:

MAT'REEN:

Tbey @dddlc arfin yocession n \choot,.

UGLY: LOOK {T ) OL, I OOt\ {T ME,

!

HONK!

(UGLY:)

DOVNY:

UGLY:

BEAKY:

UGLY:

DUCKLINGS:

IDA:

DUCKLINGS:

IDA:

I/II4T'S IT MA'ITER?

VHY DO I MAKE YOU ALL LAUGH ANb SCOFF)

Have you see you renecdon?

\i,IJY DON'T WT PIAY VITH THE FISIIES?

BECAUSE YOU'D SCARI TIIEM OFFqarShin| q,a, h) \. AI',.xtAH. '0/A H, \(AH.,wAH\fAH. \fAJf, \(AH, \(/AJ-I. \(AH. lVAH

fte.D^UCKLINC\ uke theit ptzte. in the iksrcon,. ruRkry a, Hud"rdrea,a"d Ht NRtEn 4,a, '.hoot,d

rcrd"!, o,Edatre lhenpaftake.

DRAKE: LOOKATHIMYOU ADMII HT IS A BIT EXTREME)

DUCKLINGS: NOV OUR PARENTS \li?]LI START etiIBBLINc

LOOK ATHII,IIUST A VAR]ATION ON A THEME

HE'S A TRUTY UGIY SEUNG

I DON'T \TANT TO SEE MY SONLEFT OUT ON A LMB!'HY IS IT THAT EVERYONE }IAS TO JEERI

THERI'S YOIIR ANSI/ER, DEAR

+DUCKLINGS/OTHERS: LOOK ATHTI4

HENNETTA: PECKIpECKtpECKtPECKII HATE TO BE PICKYBUT THE DUCK, PECK! PECKILOOKS A LITTLE BIT DICKYLOOK AT HIM, BOEHRDID YOU EVER SEE A ?IG I'TIII MNGS)

DRAKE:

21

o{ENNETTA:) LooK AT HIM, BOIHRDON'T GENITICS DO TIIE STRANGEST THINGSITHERE ARI TIMES YOU HA\T TO BE

CRTJEL TO BE KINDIF YOU GAVE THE CAT HIS TEANOBODY \flOUI-D MINDBOEHRI

In bi rcb as Heddndrtet the TURI"EY cajoks tlx DUCKLINGS into d ?ase rcadl

for a school phaosaph. Tln CAT ente6, und* the bood of an old-fa:hioned

caneta diserised ns the kbaol Photosrapbet.

TURN.EY: Line up everyone, shon ones at th€ fronr.

LOOK AT HIMHE'S AN UGLY ONE THERI IS NO DOUBTLOOK AT HIMDOES HE HAVE HIS GETETS INSIDE OUTI\(IHAT ELSE VOTJLD E)CTAIN HIS I OOKSBEING QTNTE SO ROUGH)HO\fl ON EARTH \fl]LL GOTIRMET COOKSKNO\(I \IHICH END TO STI,TFI

:..

:

..

i1li

DUCKLINGS/TTJRI{XY/HENNETTA: LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT US,

SEE THE DNFFERENCELOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT US,

WHERE'S TFIE MATCHI

TURKEY/HENRIFJTTA:

W cdneh flashs, nerrone fre€zes'. I'lE caT enerye'llorn beneath tlE bood.

SOMETIMES WI FIND II IS KINDERIF SOME EGGS NEVER HATCH . . ,

Now rhat's what I call a snacL!

LOOK AT HIMSTILL A DUCKLING

CAT:

HONK! HONK! 23

(cAT:) BUT THERss sO MUCH MORHLOOK AT HIMFINIST CAT FOOD THAT I EVER SAT/BETTTR STIIL HX WON,T BE MISSEDTHIY THINK HI,S A FLOPMAYBE TIJEY'IL LIT ME ASSISTGIV]NG HIM TIIE CHOP

GRACE enters ds Scboot GamoL

TTIR-IiEY;

A lecond fu.h fun lhc Gnaa unf.rcza' evcnone as tte u r hu:ta benatb ttphood acdrL 1te TURKEy i ba4dee tre ,choot ;horcs,aph.

Now, in r,rn66sj1 y6,.wilt be prernred ro Her Gn.e,rhe mosr d\rinsuished ducl on rhe take. S]re w,s onc€pr'red wirl a m;ndar;n. Aod you wil nortce rhrr s]e ha rr€d band ot cioth roudher les. . .

:1. lhi" lh.. c'l.,la di,Lin,tjon a dLrck cd €njoy. rrmeans dur ,he ; looked up ro b1 borh me, rnd rnimals.

P li b"iad,, Noy darl t rurn vour toe, in, iusr bow yourherds pol'rely and sey .eurck,!

ne DUCKLINGS ?aldde pdst GMCE in tam, each bowing and ,quclins,.

DUCKLINGS: (indiz,id dtUvAH.\ytAH. vAH. rflAH.

h comes to the t'.m of UGLY . . .

UGLY: HONK!

GMCE reacts e,ith hofrlr 7he DUCKUNGS take ttx lchoot photogtaph famTURKEY

DUCKLINGSI

IDA:

IOOK AT HIMNOV HE'S RUINING OIM PHOTOGRAPH

JUST IMAGI]VE HO\i/ HE'S FIEIING

GRACEI

IDA:

LOOK AT HIMMOTHER NATT]RE MUST IIAVE HAD A I-AUGH

IN A \(/AY HE'S QUITE APPBALING

Tlft krds slxtlrer dssres'i@ly drornd UGLY

LOOK AT HIM

(taanting UGLY) LOOK l\T HINL

fNA, NA,NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NAI

I

I A Rf,TATIONONE SHOULD SEVER

A REI,ATION ONE SHOULD SE\GR

DRAKE/TTJRKEY/HENRIETTA/MAUREEN:

DUCKLINGS:

GRACE:

DRAKE/TI,'RKBY/HENR]ETTA/MAUREEN:

LOOK AT HIM!

DUCKI.INGS: LOOK AT HDdl

ALL:

NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA!

HE IS GA\II(Y IN WHATEVERHE DOTS, OHHE REAII-Y IS AN UGIY OISEAU

UGLY k nw cleaiy ups*.

IDA: HE,S MY SON AND I LO\ts HIMDO YOU SEE VHAT YOU'VE DONE?YOU'RE TO BLAMETHIS DUCKYARD'IflOULD BE SO BORINGII \(/E ALL LOOKED THE SAME

7herc n much dbasreenmt roitb thir last rema*, kconpanied br cluck, q"dchs

GROUP AIHEN./GRACE,/MAT]REEN,/TURKEY/DRAKEI: LooK ATHn4

DUCKUNGST LOOKATHTM

GROUP A: AND BE THANKFI]'], THAT HE'S NOT YOUR KIDDUCKLINGS: BUT !?I,VE GOT HD4 AS A BROIFTER

GROUPA: LooK AT HIM

DUCKLINGS: LOO(ATHIM

GROUP A: BOuND ?O GO THE !(Ay THE DODO DIDDUCKLINGS: AND HE,s IToRsE THAN ANY oTHERIhe DUCXLTNGS arc sltut afrttbl tookfion IDA, dnd hct it nocent,.

GROUP A: BOD'I'WORK DESIGNED TO SHOCK

DUCKUNGS: lA, LA, LA, tA,IAGROUP A: PROSPECTS pRITfy DIi\4

DUCKLINGS: l-{,1A, LA, LA, LA

HE SHOULD FORM A SOIO FLOCK

f-roor ar mra,I rooK ATME,JLOOKATYOU,I YOU'II AGRFF

I A N"\,,,m-I[R'E youLooK\!{{|

BE LFcs cRrM

J roox ,rr una urnr rentcLHI5 NECK JUST MADE TO \I,RING

GROUP A:

ALL:

HONKI

ALL: THAN A GLMPSI OF THIS w]MP OF \rIMPSLOOK AT H]M!

DMKE Wrcacte' TURKEv sAiao*s\.

25

DRAKE:

TLN.KEY:

IDA:

TUR]GY:

GRACE:

IDA:

GRACE:

TURKEY erits,Jlustercd, ds GRACE ?ushes ber aqrfotutl to tdlb wih IDA.

Oy, Turkey. You been messing around wnh my rnisus?

Vhat do you neanl (I,aak' at UGLY and realises the

sisniJidnce of DRAKI'' qaedorl I look noth;ng like him.I'm a self-basting, self-boasring fine prime specimen withwonderful spurc. As for that, well, I wouldn'r use ic to stuffa dwet with. (lDA ovelhedn tbis L* inwlt)

Talking of .ruffing, I don r .uppo.e you w ll be qLite so

itll of yourself come Chrismx.

(aincins) Ooh,r hate that word.

Congratulxtions, Ida,rheyledelightlul.

Thank you, your Grace.

bonfnentuW Tell me, that big chappie at the bacL,whatever happened there? He's not eracdy your clasicBeatri:r Potter is he)

I wish the othea wor:ldn't pick on him so. He'I1 rurn outalright as he gets older.

Vell the others are r triumph, rny &ar. I only wish I couldhrve produced a brood of my own this year.

I wx so sory ro hear about fiat, your Gnce, you musrmiss him teribly.

He vas a fine duck, the mandarin, but alas he becamecrispy and aromatic before his time. Sdll, life goes on.Nov, vhere has Maureen got to wfth that French breadl

rl

i,1

I:

IDA:

GRACE:

IDA:

GRACE:

I4AUREEN rc.mten trirnphdnny wield.ing a hrge pizce of Frmch 'tik.

.

HONK! 27

TaJrl I You hrve ro rry ,r - ir\ much betrer rh,n Lhe u,:alsrull - even rhe cruss are nice.

I'tl give ir a dabble.

(t?c'ttundI rr,'v,e rhave room for a Iinle sobblejobble.Ioughr rorry.rome, my ance+on were French you krow,rrom rhe Twelve Diys ofChrismus.

Stop saying that word.

r'/hat? French?

No. Chrhtrnas.

Ooh, nor :gain.

Oh. ye.. t\4rueen. ir.s d"trcjous. come Jons. children. rrylhtr.

Qu.. o*r Qu.. onHQu.. onk!(UGLY,

DRAKE:

TURKEYI

IDAI

HEN.:

GRACE:

GRACE;

Failingmiserb, he ghvs up trying

Music No, 6 DIFFERENT(uelv)

II THEY KNE\T JUST HO\( DEARLYI \flOUlD LOVE TO QU . . . ONK!BUT IT'S TRTJE I'M A BIRD\I}IO SEEMS TO TACK THE KNACK

IM JUST DTFFERENII'M JUST DIFFERENT FROM THE iTSTAND IOHO CAN BI-AME THEM \fANTING METO FIND ANOTHER NEST?BUT DIFFERINT ISN'T NAUGHTYDITFERENT ISN'T BADSO \vHY SHOUI"D BEING DIFFERENTMAKE ME SADI

Hepik up tbe tuw hdtaes afthe pboto and bold' then t ethet.

Al the RtRDs Ea*n amhad he haad. UCL. tne, to g,r nea, rc tt e b_ead buLkee?s getting knocked hhE. He ts pecked and buliul,

Mahe way for the Red-Barded Duck.

Hod<l

Ida. you realty are goins ro have ro do

MAUREEN: bointincofstaee)Ooh,looklcro;ssal!.sl

EWRYONE except UGLY exit, in tbe dircctian oJ the croisnni.

BEAKY:

UGLY:

Ger brck. You re too bigfor you age aJready.

Th DUCKL-TL p",bes UGLy back atd ,h,aut t"e . boot ptotog,aph at

I'MJUST DIFFERTNT]I-IEY'RT IIKE PEAS FROM THE SAME PODNO \?ONDER THEY MAKE FUN OF MELIFE'S HARDER \T'HEN YOU'RE ODDBUT DIFFERENI ISN'T SCARYDIFFERENT IS NO THREATAND THOUGH TM STILL THEIR BROTHERTHEY FORGET

I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO I"OOK THIS WAYI DIDN'T \(/ANT TO BE III..IIQUEI DON'T I IKI. THTSE GRUBBY I-CA fHI.RSAND I I{A7I MY STTIBBY BEATTHER€'S A RTAII IN EV'RY LITTERONE BLACK SHEEP IN EV'RY FLOCKBUT WHEN YOl' KNO)/ TT'S YOIJSOMEHO\fl YOUR EGO TAXES A KNOCK ..

ft's no! Iair. I'm hungry too. Vhy are you picking on cre?

i

Y|l,\"::^ ^4: *," "cpd.atefio nc s,otap. t1 a pruate nonmt tr rna rcpuc ce h6 q ^h'.

HONK! 29

t

iHONK!

(UGLY' I'M JUST DIFFERENTBUT I HAVE A SINSE OF PRIDEMY IOOKS MAY VELL BN FLTNNYBUT I HLT.T THE SAME INS]DFDIFFERTNI ISN'T SPITEFULDIFFERINT ISN'T !'RONGSO lJ(4ry IS 1T SO HARD TO GET ALONG)I ONLY I/ANT TO GET AIONG

The DUCKLINGS mn in dnd td nt tJGLy ds ifpretendin| they are going toplay uith bin. Then $eJ nn away tnt4lhing at hin

DIFFERENI ISN'T HATEFULDIFFERINT COULD BE S\iELL , , ,

DIFFERENT IS JUST , . .1&TLL . . .

DtrFERENT

At the mcl of tlx song the CAT apped\ and sidtes te next to UGLY

Music No. 6A FRENCH TING!(Insrumenml)

Mrrun. A l ormse. Do yoL, nern ro 'ry rhl rhey didni lcr

you have any?

Vell that setrles it rhen. Lunch n in . . . on me.

Do you mean it) You really are a friend.

of course I am. Now, just follow me.

I'd betrer rell my mother.

oh no, you musn't. I-ook, she is talking to Her Grace.

Dont you know a duckling shouLd never intenupt anyone

who is talking ro Her Grace.

I really think I should.

\vhai a feastl

A lirtle on rhe qaleside. but one mu.rni g'umble.

M,na?

Yes? Excuse rne, Your Grrce. Beaky, dont stand onDowny's {oot 'she keeps going round in circles.

Mama? I've been invited. . .

Just a moment, sweethean. Billy! Not such big mouthfuls,and soak it in water first or you'll choke.

Vould it be alrieht if I . . .

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGIY:

CATI

UGLY:

CAT:

cAn

UGLYI

CAT:

UGLY;

cAn

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLYI

Hello, Duckyl

I'm your friend.

I haveni gor anv friends. tveryone hxe. ne beci$e I.muglv

TIn CAT hiles as the rat of the FAMILY, togdber witb GRACE,ILAUREEN,HENRIETA and TURKEY rc.nt4 aiaoiously wbLdtng lario s bakrd. goo*.

UGLY:

iti

3"1"i:1;l * roo, roo, loo.too cruer. r rhink

IDA:

GRACE:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

\iihar did you say?

I.said poultry can be so malicious. Look at rhem guzzlingall rhat bread.

It's supposed to be really nice, itt French.

HONK! 31

ilrriril

l

lliiill

ri

r m sure . . . FtLrIf. I hope you ,rre no, ,6. oit ,n* o,, ,lr..ulrdrs

7he CAT pops np again be,id, UGLy

Ifl*," l*, be gone ror long. \ hJr hxm can 1 do?^no

yoL, re hu,gry. rren.r youl

Yes, I am.

Well. rha, mrke, rwo or us. Come rtong.

\lrell .. . iiyouie sue.

CAT: Oh. t.m qdire ,tlre.

hfftr;f if, " *, v/e pih ,,p or a conv%a,on baunn ,AURLT tt

L{A UREEN: h., Idr I jreJ ton} ,or. How "he manrged ro lay r he e8s i,never Lnow. Maj,e. ny ey* *" * i*, ,l i"r.c ,b*ff. .

HENRIEfiA: I rhink ir..iu", pur, our he q.on8 mesage n:vins .omeonerookins like,hr pa_aded r-*aL. rd*a.

"111L;,]". ",,.

(onlteuinp Do pu nind. Thrr i, mv son vor:bor-r. rhere is norhirg w-"e ";j i;"""'-'" '"lli"e

ta

IDA t"1ns to thene'nbel ofthe ducblard in gene/at. fIDA: He jrx took. a bn diferen,. rhrr\ rlt. r rhintlnl mrke,hrn rcffmne rr her .pecu

CMCF: \Velt \a,d. Idr. I dFee wirh \ ou. And i, r rsrce rlen every_bo,ry,$ees. r rhink rn Jpor"o i, _ o.a.,i?"_ ii, *..r_Music No. oB DO IELL MAMA I

A^,^'"*'"f ,- """' I

!frait a minute, where,s he gonel it.

Ia

Antd u,ia* da ol'L gb , And a h nnh IufrnE al kdtu?s and scrat.hi,E aJ

Jee a,eryone se'rch6 in LvnJbr rhedrckln2.

Scene Two

Ltgt"t',one up ta .euol lv CA r. w|h UtJLy, ia t$ ki,. Therwt renitscntot d tdc+J W.ook.

' p,ag-dnnc. Tl,p ht inJ,des ua/iaus hnsiLs and .oahng

CAT:

UGLY:

I thought he was with you.

He i/as, ju. a nor\enr ago.

\ ell, if he's got any serxe he'll have gone ro find a bag topur over his hea<l.

Drake! Thacs enoughl

Calm down,love, he cant be far away.

He ira! trying to ask me something . . .

So he's probrbly jusr wardered back to the lake, you knowhow he loves swimming.

Not i.irhout telling me, he wouldnt. rPzdc, \(/heret hegone?

Oh, for goodnes sake. Alright, Tukey, you go that wayand look along by the milking shed; Maureen and Hen,rietta check around the henhouse. Ida, we'll take the duck-lings down to the lake.

And I'll co ordinate opertions from the gninstore.

(to tlft dadiznce, as flre'enting a TV shoa) \telcome to thekitty-cat snack shack. F:st food for famished felines.

It's a nice place you've got here.

DRAKE:

IDA:

DRAKE

IDA:

DRAKE

TDA:

DRAKE;

IDA:

DRAKB

GRACE:

HONKI l3

CAT;|.!{ t,;",i3*r,"p", 6,, r thint< of it as home. Now . . .Lli;,'1 fn" a,!a,*,,""p" b*; ;;" ;;;i;,.;t!;11j tr'; ryd . .. c^,";;;';r ;il{' ;;iffiSj:"* ?xn ".1 *":,"'.',;;;'il#;: il:TDuck ) t'Orange.x1:;3*" lt"** ''r,r,

oi_ s,,*, "i,,'i,"i,{'?iiiJ

\6at are we having?

I'nt having you for iunch.

Yes, I i<now we are. I mean whar are s/e going ro earl

Oh, lI whip sometliq up. A surprise.

y,r,:::*i.-,n1": *:n rhinl,ing ofsomeone €j,e. sberolo me to bevre of rhe C.lr.

ONE PHRASE THAT LEFT MESINGI]I-ARI,Y SMI'| -f F,N

YOU CAN PLAY \{ITH YOIIR FOODBTFORT YOL IATITYOU CAN CHIWY YOLR CHO\(BIFOR.E YOU CHE'i/

YOU CAN PLAY MTH YOTJR FOODYOU CAN'T BEAT TT

SO DUCKY LET ME PIAY \(/Tft] YOUYOU CAN PTAY \7ITH YOUR FOODBEFORE YOU BITE ITYOU CAN TOY \i,lTH YOT]R TUCKBEFORI TIIE CRUNCHYOU CAN PTAY \!TTH YOUR FOOD1 /HY FIGHT IT?IT'S A CRAZY LITTLE GAME CALLED LTJNCH!

So rell me, Ducky, what would you like to playl It en beanphing. I wont tell your mother.

Anlthin*...vell...

ID LIKE TO PADDLE IN TI IE PT]DDLESDABBLE IN THE MT'DTICKLE STICKLEBACKS IN THE SHALIO\(STHEN MAYBE F THER.E'S TIMEGO SLIDING IN THE SLIMETOTHEMARSH:\OHERE YOU FIND MARSHMALLO\(/SI'LL GO AND SI,AY A DR AGONTI,YVATCH \fATER BOATMEN RACETO SAY THAT CATS ARE DANGEROUSIS CLEARLY NOT THE CASE

I'D RATFIER PI,AY A (]AMF.

THAT'S SHARP AND VTITYAND PREFERABLY l|(lITH SOMETHINGIN THE KITN

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

(cAr)

UGLY:

Ah.-br, nr _ . . btes I"r. l\4orlen rre alt rbe vme, tor.ome

I:i::,11,".:TJ: '1,1 ;, . p,n or therr ioo cres, rip ion_"^":p

*'.?T ha!,ns lun. Nor rny morh* rhoust. onno. \ne $^ drflennr. Do 1ou krow sh"r she ued.ro srv

D nne helolouaaB aunbo tx C,4 t "un" rc rcncbakatJ pryd,e upredtent,lor urc U,ck ; I Ord a4e tJG Ly is obl iviors of l.e CAn, r,*ri;;;i;;;;;:;:,,'Music No. Z pIAy VITH YOUR FOOD

{Car, Usiy)

YOU CAN SCMTCHfiF AN IIQI E I-LRMTURI].O-SH CRIEN UP } OLR CLAWS:uu (_AN L{CFRA,I} THI- cuSHloNsIT^YOU,RE }WR SHUT INDOORSY-OU CAN DIC t,T ALL THE FIO\T,RSFROM THE FMSHIY PLANTED BED,AND v{TH ARTICLES OF CLOTHINGIT S OK TO PI],]-L SOMT TIIREADSBUT I REMEMBER AS A KINDTRGARTEN KITIEN

ii

!i

CAT:

AdOft@ HONKI J5

(CAT' YOU CAN pl Cy \t?'tTH I OLR FoonBIFORE YOU NIBBLFYOU CANFST v4IH YOITR IOINTBEFORE YOU ST ICFYOU CAN PLAY \4TH YOUR FOONBT'T DON'T DREBI FMY I,T,AMA GAVE TTIE BEST ADVICIYOU CANPLAY WTTH YOUR FOONBIFORE YOU GULP ITYOU CAN MESS wTflJ YOT,T. MEATdbfORT YOU MLINCHYOU CANPTAY WTIH YOI]R FOOr,THEN PI]IP I.l.IT'S A CR.{ZY LITTLE GAME CALLED LTJNCH!

\flT.COULD GO R USH]-\JC IN THI RI ShTSDASFI]NG DO\/N A DITCH

:lP.t 5|D or rLq.cE \,/ruRE n.s BoLcYI HEN MAKT A LIfTLE CAMPTIJAT IS SECREM'E AND DAMPFOR MI AND MY I,trATX THE MOGGYAND tr THI OTHER DUCKT iNr](

Y,SII;;?3'^AX'f#8,T-*"] U 5TOP CALLING ME NAMES

OH.ILT I-IFLP YOU TO FORGFTTHE WAY THEY SCOI.DIDJUST AS SOON AS I HAIT GOTMY NAPKIN FOTDED

(cAT' YOII CAN PI-AY IJcTTH YOT]R FOODBEFORE YOU EAT ITYOU CAN CHIWY YOUR CHO\(BEFORE YOU CHE\flYOU CAN PLAY \{TTH YOUR FOODYOU CAN'T BEAT ITSO DUCKY, DUCKY, DUCKY, DUCKY,DUCKY, DUCKY, DUCKY, DUCKY,DUCKY, LET ME PLAY \!TIH YOUYOU CAN PLAY \(/ITH YOUR FOODBEFORE YOU BITE ITYOU CAN TOY VTIH YOUR TUCKBEFORE THE CRTINICHYOU CAN PIAY \{'ITH YOUR FOOD\flHY FIGM N?IT'S A CRAZY UTTLE GAME , . .

Do you like oranges?

I donl know, I've never tried one.

lI

l.

j.

ti

i,

UGLY:

CAT:

ffiIl1;;yT*' "" cAr\ intentions, hde' d' ir pwns hideann seeb. 7he

ol.r.", 1,^.'" pl/y hide..rnd.*et do yor,? Vhere rreyoui Am lgerrjng w mer?

!:;:Wffi":;:r::i tot' t pe ftq'ence ratk@' rtuing whib,he cAr *izs

lbe CAr slaps a tne af orange into UGLYS mouth.

IT'S A CI.A.ZY LITTLE GAME CALLED LT]NCHI

On rln last kat of the ang the C"4T pops a lid on the boul ubicb nsw conainsUGLY Cffitage we bear the tu,nd of CHILDREN plnrine

Vhacs that noiie?

Salivating.

It's coming from outside.

Oh that, it's jusr those wretched children fron the farmplaying ball. Do they come and play with ne? Do eybuflalol I dont suppose they even remember that lheyown a cat. Some people just shouldn't keep animaLs - and

eight out of ten cats who expressed a preference would

UGIY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

ActOn(@ HONK! 17

nk CAT make' as if to ,aE/ one af UGLys ennss lpnb a ctedv.BOY'SVOrCE: Duckt

Yes, coff€cq nt a duct.

BOY'S VOICE Duck!

UGLY:

UGLY lookins scdled, ryN in the aryosjte dimtion and linds d ladte pknk in tbe

vtall ofthe bam. He tips tbroryh it arul the CAT\ lair set 'LivPryan.

Now, w:rs it right a! &€ cow shed and turn left to thehenhoue, or . . . oh, no, we pased r pig's trough, thacsright, I remember the smell, ard there was a *ater-buttthat he wouldn't let me swim in, and . . . no. I'm sure n

-as left prs tfi. ' o" 'hed.

Vith a sen'e of puaose UGLY 'et!

af.

I'D iT{€ TO PADDLE IN THE PTIDDLESDABBI-E IN TTII MUDTICKLE STICKIEBACKS IN THE SI]ALLO\OS

The sountr of a bathine dos 'care'

uGLv back onto the stage. He i: now rathannoznd a: he doesnl xt'snise an1 landmarh: and dathnas is beginn;ng to fa

oh dear, I think I'm 191.

On the @od'lo't'tln li.ght' sndP fian UGLY onto |1{,AUREEN, )ha ts bdck in the

ducblard tal.hing to IDA.

Scene Three

It is nolp rwiliebt bdck in tlxe dtcfuard arul tbe fruitks searcb for UGLY has been

uthd qf.

MALIREENT Lost? . . . (@itucs) ;lrh the Cat? Ida, ducklhgs donl get

'losr' with cals. You Lrcw that.

(l inbia| o,t oI tup ball tr \{h x re people)

-wbla, ,re peopk: Ho. )oL doni wrnr ro ser m,\ed upw,rh rnem.,Bid_nesj. rh:r , n h.u people ,i.. 1*, ,lrl

) o-Bell lwk). Du.ky. rl-ir t"m going lo,orre yol. rronoer navrng ro enrounter rhem

ohno...

CAT:

UGIY:

Yes, I know it's a ruddy ducL!

Acrualy I lhink I'm a ma ard.

'

I

:

t-. .

BOY'SVOICE: Duck!

!!T t:tk '?,,.d

ot,.tkrpits utntJot a: rLhet bal utiz,es oa a.1.!,tuQ6re <4 t on ttu bafk ol ge h?")

BOY'S VOICE S"..y,. I rota y"u ,o . . .

I know. ) know, doni sry ir . . . bowted for a ducr.7he C,tT colkpses antt latts. ttnconsaoas. nto ht<u,at to do. ouabo l. UcLydasn\ hnoa

BOy'SVOTCE: you brote the windowt

GIRIS VOICE: The bal,s gone ins;de.

UGLY: Oh no, rhey,re o,ming in.

Music No. zA LOST&'ety)

(*a tk c4T buide the bout)Thacs a good idea, vou hide inthere r:nritthe heat is ofi rll ." r" fiil;;;;;#:.ll:,,he_drl,ldrd rtrhrp! s";"n F,,. r,,.h ,;;J;";

\be bam d.oot rattlzs uiolntly.

Ve don't know for sure.

Did rhe Car really eat him, mamal ThaCs gross.

Yeah, fanry earing something as ugly as that.

IDA:

FLLTFF:

BEAKY:

HOI\Kl5ga'*A.t one Act One "4""."b 39

rnr' I "annr,oL ^r ,L--' , ,

H- _. r, , ,"...",. ,u . I oo, I @rn, ,o herr,n^,J. -,,. uc oa.K nerc h, -^--j ..trr qua(k.

[: :i -i:,f :: *::"1':*ffi : ;:Tl"J*:Tjff;you are going to be dce ro r,r,".n"*, jT,.ii.ilYii!,X'I#:::::,:g':',be DucKLn tGs and o,hoa""r' e,

". t"*," ii *i' #.!tr:tr.,m:: jil,"l#,;i:;i,:i?:#:,:,"::;;;3;.:1.i,

MEN: BUT LOOKTAIG ON THE BR]GHTER SIDTHER NEST IS NO\T MORE ROOMY

f rvr rn n rr n-rtgrn DrrFlct[ .r

I ro say coNso:--nc rHrucsI

LAH,TOMGHT THE UGLY DUCKLING SLEEPSBENEAT}I AN ANGEL'S MNGS

TOMGHT THE UGIY DUCKLING SLEEPSBENIATH AN ANGEL'S \i/]NGS

""'"1:'"'-o1x;u"""

*Sitffi'il*iffi-,l.;ffii,",i fl:vl,j} ucrY BIRD

ff ?L'i*lTlT#+i1ffi NvcHrED

l4At RLEN,ne,ogio lo p,ppd? tDA fo,rhc @oh!

ifi.:,,".T*frf"t[#ki;r*,*nn;,,Ti:

;"f,xj f. ;:ij:f""ffi ;r,*;x,l$,j j,;;[f *r,"a,,-(tncan',inced) of coutse he co'Jtd.

Hl i"#rf :fi "Trfi

.; n* L :: fr ;:: ffii

"i

li

AII:

JACK DAV: And rolling. So tell me, Ida, ft has been a week now sinceyour son v€n. missing. How are you bearing upt Can youmanage a rear for the camen)

ll7h...whatl

DRAkf .akys, ha1ia8.tu,ll.atted he tVm,t.

Oh, good, rhey've arived. Leave rhis to me, love. [oIACK DA\Y)Now,whih do you think is my best side)

Dnke, t.har is this?

. . . . Zoom in for the head shot. Confrxion. Anguish.Matrimonia.l disquiet. I love it. And . . . close,up {or the

IDA remains taohing ut into tbe darhness, teatfal but detemind. She is sudctmtyintelrl"?ted l,J W kesenter JACK DAV, togethd ahb a FLOOR MANAGE|.and. a IILM CAMERALUN from the Crine Shou "Bixtwatch UK-. Ttft FLOORMAIUGER cord.ons el)errane behind a'police tdpe'.

FLOORMANAGER: Back, bacL, back. Iveryone bacL, please.

JACK DAW indicat5 to tlk CAMEMTAN thdt IDA * their arga and to natt$e fln raninsl

VOMEN:

DMKE:

IDA:

JACK DAV:

MAI]REEN:

IDA:

MA UREN huss rDA andfotloz,s the other bb& olJjtasevoMENi l:,3,L?.-{ji-,1s-ouRsyl\4pArHrrsJ.5} I OOKSSO 5AD A\fu ULOOMY

HONKIAct One **-"r* HONKI 4l

DRAI(EI

i;x^i;w*::,::"":,;-;";;"#[:ffi ; jff 'r;IT; 5:;,;",t1,":,":.rrorn'Birdwatcrr rx " ri,'";r" (lDAt

{:f \KYf;:: ;.*i,:':6##fi ,TiTfi Lff'; !" H: (: *: **r-';'i'; |;;7i.:; ;;; ;;)oi c",,.se, \,e ar" al sdr i;; ;,;;"" ;i:: ;:::: ; Pf; !:

IACK DAV ignora DM(\E an(t goes in for the hitt e,itlj jDA.JACK DAV:

BUT IT'S YOUR VOICE THAT I HEAREVERY MOMENT THAT YOU'RE GONEIS A MOMENT DARK AND GREYE\TRY TEAR A MOTHER CRITSIS A DREAM THAT'S \(/ASFIED AWAY

(fo the CAMEM\aN) Ger awayt Qo the onkohers) Ga:way, all of you.

EVERY DAY \{IIIL SEEM TO BE

MORE EMI'TY TFI,A.N ]lIE LASTEVERYWFITRE THE St]N ONCE SHONEA SHADO\(T HAS BEEN CASTEVERY MOMENT THAT YOU'RE GONEIS A MOMENT DAR-I' AND GRTYE\TRY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES

IS A DREAM THAT'S \i'ASTIID A\gAY

catning a pacbed sritcdse fot IDA. IhE enbdce DRAKE

Buq lda, you can't just leave me with the other four.

You'll mamge, Drake. My mind n made up

But you're wasring your time, love, you know yoLr are

Apan {rom which itt dangerou ro go wandering offbeyond the vicarage at rhis rime of year.

I wont be satisfied undl I find the tmth. Try to under'

smnd, dear. A mother knows.

\0€11 here, you'd better rale rhe mobile.

IDA:

JACK DAV:

IDA:

JACK DAV:

DRAKE

JACK DA'ift

Idr, there have been rumours of famv,,,l I

l't l'ri.'", """." *,',';ffi #l l:.':tilh i:nn awry ro escape iisperecutoririfhat are you sayingl

ff:'.1ffi3;',*o;;ibDerensive ver ernotionar. rust a

!f|y caa,t you leave us a.lonel

Nice... oh, verynice... feistysells.

I(thar about me? Does noone care about what I rhink)

tri**lutq**i*ffiMuric No. c EvERy TL{R A MOTHLR Ctur.S

(da)

And dont stan btubbing, for Godt sake.tffiti,1'a;y;zthe assenbbd CRovb wnh DMIG. rDA conEoses

MAUMEN ent6,

DRAKE:

IDA:

DRAKE:

DRAK-&IDA:

DRAKEI

DMKE exi!.

IDA:,'#f"".H5i,Tiil,iffiy-TVARYOM MAYCAII MY NAMF

EVERY MOMENT SEEMS AN HOURE\TRY HOUR LA.STS A DAYE1ERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES

IS A DREAM THAT'S VASHED A\(AY

HONKI

The four DUCKUNGS rm in to htg theit nathet as sbe departs'

(rDA:) EVERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES

1S A DRIAM THAT'S \{ASHID A\OAY

GREYLAG:

Tktu way u sundenfu bLach*l t'1' tbe ercrsence of UGLY t'tom hr htding pLace in

Scene Four

\imp Dasses. thc sel tdash'ns to op"t n'thlond aith a bie aya srt 'ane"ed'','i i,n a**. t' , ,i-,nE I ib"tto*,'t ro h" oudmce LGLY t'a sousnr

Music No. 9A GOOSE MARCH(In*rumental)

nso GEESE entel. GREI'I'AG has obvioab had a glorious n iary career' DOT'

wha is ratlm gentler, brnows bin s'ueetly. Thev aalk wnh d nihdry goose nE

Now w\e,e hare they gor ro) shaoby tlo. k. I do i;sh r\e)would ke.p up. No dis. iPline. Lh/r\ the'rouble snh rh'goslings of today.

Theyre probably tired, dear' Vre have been marching {or

an awfully long tirne.

loppyqglL. would you prefer 'h,r we fl1) wirl- ' 'h^oton rhe marsh) I think not. my s*eer This rav'

UGLY:

GRE]']-AG:

Excuse me. I vonder if you could help.

Keep walLing dear. Eyes front UFO at four o'clock

Tln }EESE co"tinue to ,&aLk pdst. bans

HONK! 43

DOT:

UGLY:

GREYIAG:

DOT:

GR.EYIAG:

GR,EYLAG:

GRF,'I'I-A G:

No excuse for bad nuigation. A bird who gets off hisflight-path doesn't desene his wings, thar's what I al*ays

(uith feelin! At'Nays, deat.

But I can't even lly yet, I've got lost on foor.

Bah! hfanrry, eh) Messy buiness.

Het only a young*er. Maybe we should direct him.(nenenbain! Gfte hn his narching orders.

Bah! Very wel1. Ve're geese, nigrana, you Lnow, birds ofpasege. Run a tight {leet. \(oul&\ do for us ro lose our

Vell dear, there was rhat rime when lre end€d up in de\(a1.ward hlands.

\(indwrrd, dear, 'i/indward. And that vras a dilferentmatter entirely. \feak thernaLs, strong headwhds, blown

So how come my sister managed to ger to Slimbridge?

Yes, yes, yes, qune.

Vhere were you trying to get ro?

Back to my mother, on the lake. I rhink it must be ir thatdir€ction. I saw some ducks fllng over a f€v minutes ago.

well. it yoJ did r was probrb'1 'heir

l$ flyins ris.ion,

Havent you heard the ground to air? Bans,

DOT:

GRE}IAG:

DOT;

UGLY:

GRN'I-AG:

UGLY:

GREYL{G:

HONK! IJONKI 45+4

UGLY:

DOT:

UGLY:

DOT:

No.

There's a shoot on rhe nanh, dear' It,s very d.ugerous-

\trell, itk a peoplc spon One gtoup of men nove through

the mrsh scxrins ducks irto lhe ir, while 3 second gioup'

with guns, shoot them bacL out of rhe air:gain.

I didnl mean litefilly. Alrighr, e,ves lronr. LeCs hrve a

He prccea* to g;,rE hi: 1rcaps' an in'pection.

(GRI]']AG)

Atl tbre look at one anoths and sbrug a: tf to sav 'Vhat\ tk point af that'BARNACLES:

GREYT-AG:

Barnacles. . . Brrnacles . . . when I said'eyes lronC I hrd\opcrl rh;r ro,rr bod, rurld n" urrlh o- r:.irg rr r

So[y, \i(hg-Conm3lrdcr.

Pinkfoot, you've rrodden in sonethlng . . . how u.uiytimes have I told you to mind your ovn business? See !o ir.Snowy . . . oh, rever mind. Alrighr men, n exse. Nowlisten very careft,lly, we have received orders to cnbark ona very delicrre, nor to sayda4erous, mission.

Oh, one of them is it-

Our task is one of reconnaissarce and reunificarlor.

Oh, here we go. Translation, Dotl

The Ju. kling ' los hi. murn. ble^ irn. :nd re r. goinB rofind her.

UGLY:

GREYLAG:

UGLY:

GRET'I-AG:

DOT:

UGLY:

GREI|LAG:

UGLY:

DOT:

UGLY:

The Cat warned me rbout PeoPle.

The Clrr?

Yes, you see I wem off wirh this Cat

Ho, his pdents probably wanted to set rid of rhe uglv

blighter.

Didnl l.our nother tell you hov dangerous a cn k)

\(rell, yes, she did b'n .

The enemy. Nasll piece of work. Pull your vishbone

Bur the Cat said hc was my {riend.

You don'r want friends like that, dear. Your mothet wu

Gun Dos batk nearfo. UGLY isftightmed

cRE rI-AG: Gun dogs. They murr be staning lhe shoot agri! Time formuoeuvres l had hoped it wouldn\ cone rc tLis, bur Ihave no oprion Alright, at ease. (DOT and UCLY sx)

ComprnY, fa11 inl

Ihe notley squadton ofGEESE drri?e BARNACI-ES, PINKIOOT and SNaIYv

PINKFOOT:

GRI\'I-AG:

SNOVY:

DOT:

PINKIOOT: Ifthafsvhar he meals why doesn'r hc say it?

BAITNACLES: You can rlways tetl ;r pompous goose by his pigeon

Enslish.

GREI'I-AG: Alrighr, men. Alrentior! As you know, s,e are abour totake pm in an exercise, rhe likes of which we have notfaced before. You are a fhe body of geese and I know youvill sive ol your very best. Good luck, rrer. Qle vlttesttnn)

Music No. 10 THE \{/ILD GOOSE CHASE(Greybg, Dot, Snowy, Barnacles, Pinldoor, Ugly, Cat)

\I/E'RE OI.T ON A \\/]LD GOOSE CHASE\OE \(]ILL BE NO STRANGER TO DANGERTHE SQUADRON YllIL SHOW NO FEAR

HONKI

DOT: IiG'RE OFF AND NO MAfiER\flHERE \(/E ROAMALTI IOUGH THE MIND BOGGLESTHTS GAGGLE IN GOGGLESIS SURI TO FIND YOUR HOME

RUN\(/AY'S CLEARPREPARE FOR TAKE OFF DEAR\O']E MUST PLAY OUR PART

HARI( AT IIIMI FEAR FIIS CABIN LIGHTS ARE RATHER DIM

C}IOCKS A\(AYOUR AIR DISPLAY MUST START

VT'RI OFF ON A \fILD GOOSE CHASEAND OUR SMPLE MNSION?OSITION THE VHERIABOUTS OF YOUR FARM\/E'RE OFF AND UNLESS'VE'RE BLOWNINTO KINGDOM CO]\'fF,.i(E \{TON'T BE BACK UNTIL\iT'VE FOT'ND YOUR MT'M

But we don\ knor" whcre hn farm !, dear. uow ate wegoing to plan rhe route?

Don'r worry, I'll nrvigate.

Thaf s what I ms lftaid of.

VE'RE OFF ONA \I',II,D GOOSE CHASEIT'S A T}I-{NKLESS TASKBUT \/E ASK \(HO COULD DO IT

VE'RE OFF.KEEN TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEMS' CRUXFOR \flHAT COULD BE GRANDERTHAN HAVING A GANDERFOR A\(OL MISSING DUCKS?

GRE}']-AG:

DOT:

GREYIAG:

BOTH:

DOT:

GR[I']-AG:

DOT:

SQUADI

HONKI

A butrush 'bide' *ns to etlge i\ uay a.].os tbe marb. lye see the CAT, rtrcsseAapprc?rLatd] in deenalks antl Barbour jacha, tiptacins along behintt the

.bide'.

BARNACLES: Ercuse me, Sir. Bulrusha advancing lrom the rerr.

GRIYLAG: vhat? i rhink we,ve spoken before on the subjecr ot yourspecracles, Barnacles. Get ,em checked. Bulnshes do noradvance. One of rhe things llrey are most Iamous for isbeing roored ro the spot.

The CAT pops out fran behind tha 'hide' next to UGLY

CAT: I tello, Duck)- - rhought I'd tost rou.

CRI)'I-AG: SraDJ hi.l or Iltpe!k.

Ooh, besLill my quaking legs - l,n goingto be goosed.

vhar are you doing herei

\(rhat are friends for) I've come ro take you home, yourmother is crrrying on something {ear{ul.

My rnother? . . . You've seen nry Dorherl

Of coune. She sent me to Ietch you. Special envoy.

Lisren here, Cat. I'm ln comand around here rnd mvsquadron has taten personat ch:rrge o{ rhe duckLng s saiereturn to his mother.

\fle1l, I vd dnl rry flying rr the moment. H.ven'r you

\ve will conrnence soon s rhe shoorins

It's rheirpany bur we'ilfly i{ve watrr ro, ha, ha, he.

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

GREI'IAG:

CAT:

GRE}'I,AG:

SNOVYT

GREYI-AG:

48 HONK!

SNOV'Y:

CAT:

GREI]-AG:

CAT:

'lhe CAT ditr in the dircction of tk suns.

Litde joke, sir.

Maybe I could be o{ asisrince. I'll go over ro the shoor,ther I will let you knov when rhey are packing up {or rhedrv.

Very well, and no funny business. I knon several ways to

Irt like taking candy from: baby.

SQUAD:

DOT:

SQUAD:

\I/E'RE OFF ON A \{,ILD GOOSI CHASE

YOU MAY'ilIINK ]T ODD THAT A SQUADSUCLI AS OURS CAN PER}ORM THIS ROLE

\flE'RI OFF AND \(/I'LL PROVETFIAT'S NOT THE CASF,

\(IE'LL SEARCH FOR THIS QUACK,QUACK

AND THEN RETURN TO BASE

We are :bout to face our most periloLrs mksion to dare. Ineed hardly tell you of rhe rist<s involved or olrhc ultinareprice $ar we may have ro pay. (A paue for a shot conband PaP

'olo). As ve fly .,n ro glory I wam you to how

how very proud I am of rhis squadron. Keep a sriff upperbeJk. nen. dd ,aa"nbe. ou, nora "\enph r,,ta"i,n

GRE'T'IAG: AVOIDING TFIE ACK-ACK

ALI-:

GRII'IAG: Companypresent paperl Conp:rny presenr conb!

Ihe CDMPANy ddy the LE$e sedion tune on cotnb and paper, olcr abnhCRE

''I-aG Ch)es hi: fiMI a.ldres!.

rt:

}IONX! +9

The SQUAD sing the w se.tion 'atto

@ce to 'Bom' (no unb and paper) xndet

DOT:

SQUAD:

Good afternoon, Lidies and cend€men. NIy rame ; Dor,I am your Senior Flighr Attendmt and, on behalf ofCaptain creyixg, I vould like to welcome you to rhisafternoon s flight from Boggy Marshland to some ftr flungfrrn \{re ll be cruising at rn ahirude of sever:l feer andflying h I rafier xrtractive V formarion. In the unlikelv*"|of a" e-ergency t"nding, we ask that you obse#rhe sJery proadures that we've been through so manlmrrv rine. bet"r.. we hope vou have J pleJ",n, ioJrn.r.and rhank 1'ou for choosing Goose Air . . . "The Flullj,skies'.

U l- RF Ol-i fO I \\URl lHt\ DULKI \CIS NOT SO GLUMWT \{ON'T BE BACKL]NTIL \VE'VE FOUND YOI ]R

The coasr is clear. They are puring away their guns.

(dehbsdtebfdlse)on e1aot ny ti\es.

Good. Alright, men. Fnrd check. Otr, and here's a para-chute for you.

F...Iorme?

Tbe CAT rur bach in.

CAT:

GREYIAG;

CAT:

GREYI,AG:

CAT:

GREYLAG: You donl rhink I'm golng ro leavc you here wirh thedrckling do ).oul Oh no, pus, you're coning with us.

CAT: Oh, cst iitter!

SQUAD/DOT/GRIN,AC: OT,TT M\CS ARL S-TRIAI)

SO DON'T DELAY

OUR EXCESS BAGS ARE STO\qED A$/AY

IT'S TIME TO FLY

\OE'RE OTF ON A \i.ILD GOOSE CHASEM'T}I A HAPPY INDING MPENDINGIF \rc CAN LOCATE HIS NEST,LOCATI HIS NESTWT'RE OFF, CHEERIO, GOODBYE,TOODLEPIP OLD CHUM

THEY'RE OFF TO TRY AND FTND THE FARMAND WHEN THEY'\T FOUND THE FARMTHEY'LL FIND MY MUMAND WE wlLL BE TOGETHER EVERY DAYIII BE \fAITING COME WHAT MAYSO I'I-L SAY GOODBYE. TOODLEPIP OLD CHUM

\(OMEN:

MEN:

CAT:

GREYLAG/DOT:

SNO\vY:

UGLY:

BARNACLES:

PINKFOOT:

UGLY:

." HONKI , ". uA.t One

UGLY:

SQUAD/DOTGRNYI-AG:

ALL:

SQUAD/DOT/GREYLAG:

UGLY:

\(/E \OON'T BE BACK TJNTIL

\(/E'WON'T BE BACK UNIIL

\(.E \flON'T BE BACKI

\iT, VON'T BI BACK UNTtr- \(/E'VE FOL]]\ID

FOT]ND

FOUND

FOUND

FOUND

f uv l,nrul

HONK! 5l

REST: I tou r,*ltt/nh df'ndl sal te to UGLYtbe Gooe Syudnn take to tln air.

cood-bye... Good1uck... thank you. ThanL you.UGLY:

A thunneringaollq ofgnnshox ring: out. Ihe sfo darken: with gun vnohe UGLYaatch* in hanv as the nnnbets oftbe Caose SquaAron ate, one b1ane, shot out ofthe air- The sfo tatns ta red. A sinele white feathe/ &ops fran the Jlies

UGLY: No! No! \fhaCs happening? . . . The Cat! He sdd he was

my friend. He said the people had put away their guns. Helied. Oh, nana, what should I do now?

lYe lrcdv tlft aoie of IDA in UGLYs bead"

:

Ii

a

+:

IDA:

UGLY:

BOTH:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLYI

Music No. 11 ACT ONE FINALE:Hol-D YoUR HEAD UP HIGH S.eprise)

0d", u81Y)

10, HOLD YoUR HEAD u? HIGH

IT'S NOT AL\fAYS SO EASY TO

HOI,D YOUR HEAD I,? HTGH

AND APPEAR BRIGHT AND BREEZYI THOUGHT DREAMS VIRE MADEFOR A RBASONBUT HOPB SBEMS TO FADE\(/ITH EACH SEASONAND MAMAYOU SEEM SO FAR A\flAY.

(appearing bkewhat on her searcb)

HOID YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

N'S YO1JR VOICEN'S YOL]R VOICE THAT I HEAR

a. .,..

HONKI HONKI

EVERY DAY \li{LL SEEM TO BEMORE IMPTY THAN THE L{STB\TRY!(HER,E THE SUN ONCE SHONEA SHADOW HAS BEEN CASTE\TRY MOMTNI THAT YOU'RE GONIIS A MOMENI DARK AND GRIYEVERY TEAR A MOTIISR CRIBSIS A DRIAM THAT's IVASHED A\(AY

HOLD YOUR FIEAD UP HIGHAND ALL TIIE Ii/HILEVANDERING REMINISCINGTKFFI IONDERINC tr SHF'5 MISsINC M[MA\TE IN THE T/AY I MISS HER

JUST KNOMNG THAT YOU'RX OUT THERE\TLL IIEI"P ME TO GET BYUNTIL I'(/E'RE RII,\ITEDI \(IILL HOLD MY HEAD UI' HIGH

ACT T\/O

Sc€ne One

Music No. 12 ENIRACTI(Iosrrumental)

DrinS the Eni'acte, in order to shelw lrom tbe col.d, UGLY slips inside the

coxage As tbe liglts came up ue dircoeet UGLY tentati,xb erploing tk lh)ingraan. He is sx*lenly startld to bedr the VaICE oftlre OLD VOMAN d.Lllessing

h* pets, LOWBUTT tbe hen and QUEENIE ttre cat. He lnmps doan bebind tlx

'of^

OLD VOMAN: ffitage) \ar two go on indoors. I'm going to sweep upthe leaves from the front path.

BOTH:

UGLY:

UGLY h les as best lte can. Tlrc door opens - ue dan't se tln OLD IN/OI[.4N -

LOMUTT and QUEENIE enLq.

OLD VOMAN: (ofrtdge) l'l-l Be in lrter ro give you a dish of crearn,

Queenie, and there will be some corn for you, Lowbua, ifyou can lay me an egg {or my lunch. Perhrps a brown onewithspecLles?

LO\(BUTTT Brown I can manage, but I'm fre:h out of specLles.

Ve bear the OLD IYOI4AN walk auay fron tbe coxage and. renain in tlrc launge@ith LOIY/BUTT dnd QUEENIE. There is a hrye 'liLwl i.fl' settee Mecked @itbcusbbns and kce covers. On the @aU are thru flying d ck. UGLY nlrensoneuherc ulthin. QUEENIE sxddenly stcps shott.

QUEENIE: VhaCsthat? There's: diny footprint on the shagpile.

Itt alwayrs in a phce where it shows. Some people are so

thoughdess - why cant they srcp on rhe partern€d bit likecivilised folk)

Oh no, a people penon!

UGLY fnds that be ba wandered unwitingly into the flont sard.en of d hnecottase. In tt'e cl.osine bars of the nusic, oe see tln inpui.ng

'hadou of the OLD

lYtOtlAN approa.^bing In oder to e'cape, {lGLy dan' tbrough the d.oor into the

End ofACT oNE

j

LOIWBUTT:

tijriL.l:i.::I'l !,.,.1, ti.

54 HONK! HONK! 55

Qi,'EENIE

LO\(BUfi:

UGLY:

LOY/BUTT:

QLIEENIE:

UGLY:

LOVBUTT:

UGLY:

LO\(BUTI:

QLIEENIE:

TO\/BUTT:

Never mind a!919 they stepped, my point is that someonehas sepped at all . . . in our house.

And look, rhere, whoever it was hx burst one of thepillows.

I'm, I'm nor a bursr pillow.

Oh, my word, h speak.

Vhat are yor:, animal, vegerable or mineral?

Duckable... Irnean ducL, duck, Im a ductling.

Are you s!.r€? Iflas your mofi€! a duck?

\flell she mut have been sick as a parot when she saw

Ioul

A-ha-ha-ha oh, Lowbun, thaCs teribly good.

Thank you, dear. I donl believe I've ever seen such anugly duckling.

LOVBUfi: srcady, Queniq dont upser yourself. He's obviouslygoing through rhe nouh. Hormorcs running amok, iffarional behniour, nood swings.

Vhar of it)

I don't think I like your tone, youtrg poultry'mylad. Andrnind that! You'll be rnarking rhe antimacassr next!

Itr/hat's m amimacassu?

I donl Lnov bur ft obviously works ' there hasnl been a

macasar in rhe house for as long as I can remember.

A-ha'ha-ha, oh, Queenie, fiafs avlully good, you are a

Thank you, dear.

Car? Are... areyou rcar)

So . . . so ar€ you going to €at me)

Don't be disgusting, the very thought. I've never been intothe bird bwcheriq business. Couldnl be doing with :llrho,e fe.:rhen n. lke e.rring r merl and flo*ing 1ou,rceth ar the same time. No, rhe old woman poaches me a

lresh fish.

But the old woman is a peron, doesnt she hurt youl Andyou, you're a chicken, why is she keeping you shut iruide?Don't you pre{er it our in the yud?

You must be crazy. All that rratching and scr:ping. I liveon th€ seneer thank you very much. Queenie ad I are

domesticated, you see.

UGLY:

LO\(BUTT:

UGLY:

QUEENIE:

LOVBUTT:

QIJ'EENIE

UGLY:

QLrEENIE:

UGLY:

QI-EENIE:QUEENIB: \fhat are you doing in ou hou.se?

UGLY laak longingb dt the tlfte flring ducks' an tk tall.

UGLY:

QUEENIE

I was sheltering from rhe cold. I saw rhe door was left openand didat think it vould huft to step inside.

Not hun, not hun? The marls you've lefi on the carperwill drive the old woman round the Berber rwisr.

UGI-Y:

II LO\(RUTT:

i'' ; !

56 HONKI

QUEENIE:

QUEENIE

LOVBUTI:

Music No. lJ IT TAKf,S ALL SORTS(Queenie, Lowbutt, Ugly)

II 'IAKI 5 AII )OR]5 I O MAKT A \(ORLDON THAT POINI \ru ARE CLEARIT TAKES ALL SORTS TO MAKE A WORLDBUT \{T DON'T ]i(ANT 'EM HERIOUR TASTE IS GOOD AND LIBERALOUR VIEWS ARI \rcLL EX?RISSEDIT TAKES ALL SORTS TO MAKE A VORLDIT'S JUST THAT OUR SORT'S BEST

So, you should be gnteful that we are wen borhering toenrer inro conversation with riffraff liLe you.rselt You see,

Lowbutq so named because of u obvious deficiency in theleg depanment, Lowburt is normally most panicular aboutwhom she chooses to speak ro.

Ard I might rell you rhar Queenie n downright snobbishwhen it cornes to social imercourse with poultry. I countmyself most {onunate rhar or:.r common htere* in needle-point has rendered us such close friends.

ITHEN ONE EXPLORISTHE GRIAT OUTDOORSONI FEARS \NHAT ONE MAY SEE

\iT'RE NOTJVEAU RICHEOIJR PERTECT MCHEIS HERE ON THE SETTEE

OUT5IDT THE '0/ORl D KFLPS CHANUINGIT'S A CONSTANI STATI OF FLUX

THAT DOESN'T SUII DOMESTIC FOLKII'S BEST LEFT FOR YOU DUCKS

QTJEENIE:

LOVBUTT:

Duringthefo o@ing chorus, LOVTBUTT ndhes the tea @;tt QUEENIE s belp.

BOTH: OH IT TAKES ATL SORTS

HONK!

QLIEENIE:

BOTH:

QUEENIE:

BOTH:

QUEENIE:

BOTH:

UGI-Y:

TO MAKE A I/ORID

ON THAT POINT \ru ARE CLEARIT TAKES ALL SORTS

TO MAKE A \i/ORID

BIJT IJ{TE DON'T \i/ANT 'F.I{ HF,RF

OUR TASTT IS GOOD AND LIBEIALOIIR VII\(S ARE \itsLL,E)ORESSEDIT TAKES ATL SORTS

TO MAKE A \fORLD

IT'S JUST TI]AT OUR SORT'S

I TT-IINK MY SORT'S

The sugar lan4x are added.

QUEENIE: lsPo[drJust a spldh!

+ LOY/BUTI: 6nrzg) OUR SORT'S BESTI

UGLY:

QIJEENIE

LO\/BUTT:

UGLY:

QTJEENIE:

UGLY:

Bur . . . whar do you do here all &y?

Ve sit and chat and sit and chat and somedmes I will archmy brck and let sparls fly from my fur.

Then ve sit and chai and sit ard chat and sometimes I willlay an egg.

And is that !lvhar else is there for civilised folL ro do? \frhai do youdo?

\fell, my absolute {avorire thing is swimming. Itk so

wonderful lerting the water dose over your head as youpluge righr down ar the bonon.

58 HONK!

QUEENIE hwbutt knovs all about plunging down at the boton,donl you, dearl

I Ou/Bt n 8w. QUL| \tt a uthmnslooh.

UGLY: Come on,I'll show you.

LO\(BUfi: Swimming) In the au mn? I've never heard of such a

crazy notion.

QUEENIE: \flell, you could use sone *ercise, deu, think of yourthigh meat - she's got drumsricLs like an osrrich:

LOVBUTT: \{ell you havent exacdy been a slave ro your step,aerobics'ht u much as you can do to ger your {lap open.

QLTEENIE: Gracious, Lowbutr, you're missing your proggie! Quicks.icks! Ao UC.t She loves watching her Antiques Show.

LOVBUTT: Vhere's rhe remote?

QI,'EENIE: You'r€ sitting on ir.

QUEENIE stanr b ex;t. TtE W cones on in the niddle of"B*tlwatcb UK". Both

IACK DA\Y/ and IDA's wica are lftaxl enaMtinsflen the sc.reen.

JACK DAV: . . . Six montlu on, and still no sighting o{ the ductling,who, m you will remernber lrom the photograph releasedat the time, has whar can best be described as a ratherunforgenable appearance. Now, our expens believe that hemay :lready hrve undergone certain changes md lhey hevepur togeths thG photofit of whar rhey believe he nighrlook like today. Sone vievers may find this imgedi*urbing.

IDA: I'm sure he is still our there somewher€. So. if anvo.e hasseen hin, please call in.

HONKI 59

UGLY: Mamrl

JACK DAV: Yes, one again, viewers, we are rppealing to you if youhave any information. The number is coming up on your

LovBUfi: fo UGI| Is there sornahing you'd like ro tel us, dear?

UGLY: Mama!

UGLY touch4 the TV rcreffi.

QLtsENIF- Did you run away flom home?

UGLY: No, L..

QLTEENIE: Vell, there is only one thing to do. I'11 call from theknchen.

QUEENIE erils. Thde is d ing on tk tloorlrcll.

UGLY: Oh no, tle oLd woman.

LOVBUTT: Shewouldnt ring her own doorbell. Come in.

I$e door swing: open and there stands the C4T druse[ rather bdCb, ,$ Lrake.

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

Quack, quack.

Oh no! \flhat ffi you doing here?

Thought I'd cooked ny goose, ehl (,4ctirg)Is that any wayto greet your long lost feather . . . fathert

LOVBUTI: Your {arher? Ugliness cenainly nrru in the family.

UGLY: He's not my father, don't listen to him.

HONKI60

CAT:

UGLY:

LOVBUfi:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

QUEENIE:

CAT:

QUEENIE:

CAT:

LOVBUTT: pr9;cio*s/ Shouldnl you be gening brckt You srid hh

nother was si& with worY.

CAT: Meeoow! Meeoow!

ne CAT start' to ftdnti.dlb pll ofhis feathen, beak, aek ac to reveal hinselfas

d cdt to QUEENIE.

UGLY: I rold you he wa: a tom cat.

Music No. 14 TOGETHER(cat, Queenie, Lowbun)

MADAM, I'D BI HONOI,T.EDTHOUGH I'M NOT OF YOIJR ILKIF \i/E COIJ'I,D GET TOGETHERMA'IBE SHAX,T A DISH OF MIIK

STR, TD BE DELIGHTEDTHOUGH IT'S TRI.'E YOU'RE A SCRUFFBUT VHEN ONT'S I{AD THINGS EASYONE LIKIS A BIT OF ROUGH

Queeniel You loose cat!

TOGETHER ON THE Ttr-ES\fE VILL TOTTERTOGETT]ER vT \},ILL SITON GARDEN \(ALLSTOGETHER \rc w]LL MAKE TIN ROOFSSEEM HOTTER

TOGETHER YOU'LL BE THROMNG UPFIJ'R BALLS

H€ is overcome. Son . . hug your daddv Your mother

and I have been worried sick.

Don\ ler him nerr me Does he Iook like adu, k)!

Now, now dear. Folk who live in glashoues shouldnt

call the kettle bl:ck . . . or something lile rhit.

He's a car!

Ah, ha, ha, ha, children vill have their tun I'm sorv if he

has caused you any inconvenience ad l'm most grateful

rhir )ou ve . . . kepr \im rll rn one piece. Come rlong

Dr.rcky. rhank Lhe nne poul'q rorlooungrfterlou.

He s i c,'.I rell iou. A 'ly. rrercherous. double.ro*ing

...hungry...

. . . no good, conniving ton cat.

(re-nterin!7t's no sood,the linet engaged

ve1l, helio.

Mercy - rnother duck, whais th€ malterl Havetrl you got

QUEENIE:

LOVBUTI: Don't get any frnny ideas, Queenie. \/e have an armng€-ment, don't for3er.

It is too kte. QUEENIE dnd tbe CAT anb hdw e!6 fat eacb other. The CaT,heae*t doe, not ur"htolovUGL\ 'oh.au,ahn.LOV/BUTT: Ohno!There will be rears be{ore bedtime!

It is appdrent thdt LO\YBUTT will da anytbing she can ta prewnt dry liaisanbehseen QUEENIE and the CAT.

(seductiwly) A tam catl

. Music No. 13a TQM CAT STING(Instrurnental)

CATr

QTJEENIE

LO\(BUIT:

CAT/QUEBNIE

LOV/BU:|T:

62 HONK!

CAT/QTJEENIE:

LO\Y/BUTTfarces haself betulell tie lawr and nddre"* QUEENIE

H CD YOt IORCO'I I LN, DFAR)TT{E CLINIC HAS CONFIRMEDTHAT THEY CAN FIT YOU INYOU N[,ED TO BE DE\(ORMEDAND \(,ITH YOLIR LAST ATTACKYOU ALMOST FILLED A SACKSO MA1BE YOU SHOULD GO

LO\V BUTT nou atlbesses lx C4T.

IT'S ONLY FAIR TO SAYT}1AT SHE IS R-A.THER PRONETO CARRY PAI-A.SITES

HER TLts. IS NOT HER O\(INAND ON ]1]E I]YGIENE FRONT'TO BE BOTH IN"\NK AND BLI]NTIT'S }ETTER YOU DON'T KNO\{/ALTHOUGH I DON'T VISFI TO GRIPEr DON'T THINK SHE'D BE YOUR TI?E

The taa loz,en appear to lntotutb taudre ofLo\trBufi\ intenrntion, and cast

CAT/QUEENIE;

TOGETI.IER VE VILL BLNLD OLRSELVES

A CAT FLAPTOGETHER AFTER DA},]( \(E'LL FILE INTOGETFIER \gE \(/ILL SNUGGLEFOR A CAT NAP

TOGETHER YOU COULD STRING A VIOLIN

TOGETHER \/E \(/lLL SINGOLIR O\fN CAT'S CHORUSTOGETHER \{E CAN CI.IOOSEOUR FAVOL]RITE KEYS

I,OVBUTT:

HONKI 63

CAT /QT]IENIE: TOGETHTR \ E VILL CONQUER

ALLBEFORF tiS

LOVBUTT: TOGETHER YOU CAN RID HER OF HERILEAS

LOWBUTT tumt tn UCLYlir dstistunce.

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME OUTIT'S LOOKING ?P.ETTY GRIM\(HAT \flILL BECOME OF MEIF SI II SHOULD GO \{4TTI HIM?SFIE'S GONE ALL GOOIY-EYEDAND I AM TERNFIEDSHE'LL LIr\w lvlE ON THE SHELI

LOWBUTT rel"as UGLY antl uhers hin to tln doar, which sk apms awf prcbatbe beuuazd UGLY to hts freehn

Vell, go on fien . . . run!

OH DEAR, ALAS, AL{CKTHE DOOR \(AS LEFT AJARTHE DUCKLING HAS ESCAPEDIIE \(ON'T HAVE GOT TII-{T FARIF YOU START MAKING TRACKSYOU'RE BOUND TO HEAR HIS QUACKSAND CATCH HIM FOR YOL]RSELFDON'T LET US DELAY YOUR TRX)}IE'LI- SOON BE \X{THIN YOUR GRI?

Tlrc CAT, dwing a slyllsed tango, agnkes ow whaher to 'ta

uith QUELNIE otP'l6ae UGLY He

"n@enonio 'b *ops QUEENIE and m:ba afr ttxdxchling LAWBUT'| blpodtidlU trLi to confail the dbandand QUEENIE.

LOVBUfi: TOGETHER VE\vlLL OVERCOMETHIS F{EARIACHETOGITHER WE'\T THE STRENGTHTO SEE IT THROUGH

HONK!

LOWBUIT/QUEENIE:

DRAKE

FLUFF:

TOGETHER AS IF NOTHINGREAILY IIAPPENEDTOGETHER \OE \rILL STAYTOGTTHER llflE \'ILT STAYTOGETHER \/E \/IIL STAY AS ME AND YOU

Scene Two

Bach in the ducklant, DRAKE is nat daing toa @tl at tooking dfd the DUCK'LINGS e,hite IDA x away. The DUCKLINGS seen to be Soin1 tlrrc eh that

stdge'. DL4KE u'1its impatbntll for tben to renm afer dn e"Ening ouL

DRAKE

71e uttu nore adnlescent DUCKLINGS rctu1n

Music No. 15 THE COLI-A.GE

@rale, Idr, Company)

AS A Dfu{KErr,fY MISTAKE\fAS LETTING HER GO SEARCHINGFOR MY SON\TAH, THAT ONEIIT AIN'T RIGHTI'VE S?TNT IOEEKS

FILLING BEATSHEARING'DADDY, DADDY, DADDY'rM DEPRESSTDROI IND THE NESTDAY AND NIGHT

Ad what son of rime do you call this?

V/e son of lost track of rhe time.

The owl didn't give a hoot.

HONKI 65

DRAKE:

DO\/\TY:

DRAKE:

BILLY:

DRAKE

BILLY:

DRAKE

BILLY:

FLLiFF:

DRAKBi

BEAKY:

DRAXS:

I/ell your father does.

Mum would've let 9s stay our.

Mum's nor here you're grounded.

Oh, gu3no!

And where d'you pick up language like thatl I told yourct to hang aroud with that kingfisho . . . he's so b1ue.

Vell, you say it.

Thafs different. I say it ir a mture, adult and grown up

Still means the same thing.

\flhenk mum coming back)

I dunno, honey. And hrve you preen€d your feathers

today?

'We haven't got on to that yet.

Vhat do you mean you haven'r got on to it yet? \fhat dothey t€a€h yo,.r these daysl You know what happens roducks that don't preen? They sink.

But she is coning backl

I dunno,horey. (fa anotber DUCTLING, And did you eat

rhe pondweed I packed for you.

The moorhens dont have pondweed.

No, the moorhens wouldn't.

Vill she find Ugly)

FLUFF:

D&{KE

DOVt{Y:

DRAKE:

FLIJFF:

HONK!

DRAXE

Tte DUCKLINGS all etit.

DRAKE:

(snaWndt dunno, honey. I . . . I dunno. Now cone along

gang, it's time to roost. Make sure you brush your beaks,

and dontrake all the water, my bill\ big enoughl

\{'I]EN IDA SAID SI{E'D GO I HAD TO LET 'ERA ST{AME, BECAUSE THIS APRONSUITS HER BETTER

\OHERE'S THE JOY IN MOTHERHOOD?.AN ENDLESS ROT]ND OF CHORISTHAT HA\,T, TO BE DONEI]]EN \flHEN YOU THINKYOU'\E SEEN THE BACK OF THEMYOU FIND IN ACTUAL FACT.YOU'RE BACK AT SQUARE ONETHERE'S NO JOY IN MOTI{ERHOODOR II THERI IS, IT'S SOMETI]INGI JUST CAN'T SEE

YET IDA SOMEHOW COPES \!{TH ALL OF THISAND TIfEN, ON TOP OF T}L\TSHE PUTS U? VflH ME

(ofrta8e)D^d?

Now vhatl

Cra's-fade to lDA on het )aume1. The callase mwi.c conttnulr

S(ne Thie€

In a collage ofalsnett* "!)e faLla@ IDA on het joume! to trr tu fnd UGLY

ID& I \fLL SEARCH EVERY PONDI \{'LL SEARCH EVERY STREAM, EVERY RIVERAND THE BROADEST OF BAYSIN THE VIDEST OF LAKESMUST BE CROSSED

HONKI

(IDA:)

CAN'T SHE SEE THE \fiAYTHE ODDS ARE STACKID)

As IDA cont;nue! hel joumet ue s@ DR 4KE dn l ruRt<EY bach on the farm.

'J'IIIIf YOU ARI ]\4ISSNC FROM \,fY Ltr}IT'S MI \iT]O'S FEELING LOST\fiTHOUT YOU I FEEL LOST

7k rct of the COMPANYfoTW a 'Grceh chans' conmenting on IDA\ ptogres,.

Tlel haue about them oaiorc accaatremmts a7 props necessdry n ditinguish a tbecbaracterr IDA mut' o" hs jo"mey.

LOOK AT HERIT'S A SHAME]1IAT SHI !fON'T FACE THE FACTLOOK AT HER

Alt.;

TURKBY:

DRAKE

\fleti, have you heard uyhing from Ida yet?

No, sltet got the nobile ofi. But the pigeon delivered :nore r\is noraing. I1e unlolds a pnc of papet) tt lust says"I'm here. Pratt's Boaom". I dunno if rhaCs r place or ifshet just being offensive.

Bdck to IDA on her io met.

ALLVOMENT IOOKATIIER

ADMEN: LOOK AT HER

\TOMEN:

MEN:

VOMEN:

MEN:

NOTHING SHAKBS HERFROM HER STRONG BELIEF

NOTHINC SHAN F5 HTRSTRONG BELIEF

LOOK AT I]ER

LOOK AT HER

HONK!

I'/OMEAI:

AIL:

IT'S SO HARD TO COME TO TERMS\(/ITH

GR]EF

IDA is in conwrsatirn with GREYLAC dnd DOT botb of whon arc hul,ibbdndaged @nh splintr, crutcht etc

IDA: . . . and he is about so high with a rather characterisrichonk.

DOn

GREYIAG:

GREYIAG:

sol-o:

REST:

Sounds Like thar squaddy. He shot rhrough a while ago. Isay he sho rhrough, it was s! who were shor through.Practically brought about ou Tra{algar.

I think you mean Vaterloo, dear.

Here, you can take this, i{ n helps. (t]e han* ber bis map,

'hot tho"shv)ith btu et holes)

-LOOKATHER

SO CONVINCID SHE'S GETTING NEARLOOK AT HERSHE'S A LNTLE LATE \/E FEAR

LOOKATHERSO CONVINCED TT{AT SHE iS GETTING NEARLOOK AT HERSHE MAY BE A LITTLE LATE IJ{E FEAR

lDA al,lxan at the cottdge @indou. LOIVBUTT peers ast.

LOVBUTT:

IDA:

LO\vBUTT:

And how do we know you're nor a cat.

I beg your pardon?

The last ducl who c:me by Lere rurned out ro be a tomcat - one of those nasty transfeatherit*.

HONKI 69

QLTEENIE: (arydins besde LOIVBU ry Did someone say rom carl

IDA sets ofa&xin.

ALL AS EACH SEASON SLI?S AwAySADTY THERE'S A TRINDCOMMON SENSE \(OULD SEEM TO SAYTHERE'S NO HAPPY END

IDA dppea$ bestde d fnal, dand uindou. Slrc is talhing on the nokh phone arutpau;ngover GR 'LAG\ mdp.

IDA: No, Drale, listen, he vx last seen uavelling in thedirection of Moorhnd Frm

ThaCs nonh of here, nn1 itl

Yes.

How very ineresting.

:I be CAT opens the uindow b6ide IDA . sbe d@'n't vt see b;m.

CAT:

IDAI

CAT:

lDA rtms and sea tlr CAT.

IDA: Yo!!!

ALL cbae of. As oar attentian ir dioaled, PENNY mas, entangbd in fsbingline

Scene Four

lue catcb "p

@ith UGLY @ho is bdtk in the open fuICs. He htnia along hohingrtroously auer hi sbo der to chech thdt tlle CAT is not pursuing bim. He stops

'ho1t uhen he h?an a phinnoe cry. UGLY tum' to ebere the sound is con;g

fron and d{scoaen a beautiful yo'ns lindb s@an, PEI\7\ry, tunglcd in f'bins tini

PENNY: Help mel4r',ll, vop.) Plerse. help mell m caughr.

HONK! HONKI 71

UGLY:

UGLY:

PENNY:

UGLY:

PENI.W:

UGLY:

UGLY basbfufu ties to fnd an end to tbe fthing lire. He ;: still nesnerisel'

\fto...whoareyou)

I'm Penny. Pi€ase, do /ou think you can untangle me)

(self consao u ) t' l, r 1t vy.

\t(rh... whar are you?

(s rprised dt the q"estion) t\ swan. ooh, mind you donthurt yourself on that hook. No poinr in us Sorh gettingdamaged.

Typical me, my first migration and what happens. . . l

Your int whatl

Migration. The cold wearher is setthg in and we rreleaving today for the warm lands.

Leaving?

You're a funny one, all these quesions.

So!ry.

Everyone calls me Ugly.

Oh, don't lisen to rhem, it's a stage we all go rhiough.You should hear some of the things they called me beforerfi- mou|. fennv d"eadful. tenny-plJin. Penny d.opping.

(quietb, Prary Pennyt FI.or' could anyone call you namesl

'fre . . . like I say irl just a stage we al1 have ro gothrough.

(bdshf,tb le'xntn; hn tush) Exuse rl'e. (He cilcres bd @a^,. . . could you Iift your wing upl

My morher always warned ne to avoid the fishing line thepeople leave behind.

@ddenly azthusiastb) So did mirc. She us€d ro tett mevhen we vere out swimming. (Conpleting his task)There . . . just one more loop around your 1eg.

lAugi,g L CL\. Oh. thdnL 1ou. Irhoughr I w.$ gouls ,obe left behind and this is no place to spend the winreralone. /24rue, \flher€t your !ock?

I doni l{now. lin lo,r.I \r 'eprrrted lrom m1 tmity nd

rbe more I look for rhem rhe hnher ir ,eeru I wander

Thacs dreadtul, when did yor: last see them)

In the spring.

In the spring! You've been lost since the springt you poorthing, you can't sray fier€ for the winter, you'llfreeze.

No,I'll be alrieht.

PENNY:UGLY:

PEN}.IY:

UGLY:

PENNY:

UGLY:

PENNY:

UGLYI

PBNNY:

UGLY:

PENTIY:

UGLY:

PENT.qY:

UGLY:

PENNY:

UGLY:

lYe be MOTTIER SVAN ca ingfrom afstase.

MOTHERs\rAN: (ofndse)Penny.

&ndzn$ PENt*v has an tlea.

UGLY:

I .i;r1i,c{l:il;i!:i.;

HONK! An Two \.. ". " HO\K:

PENI.IY:

PEN}.IY:

Of course you could. Con€ on, orwe'U neve! catch up.

Oh, Penny, I'd love to, I'd really love ro, but I can't . . . Icanl fly, at least not well enough to go with you.

It doesnt maner if you're not x strong x rhe orhen, I'l)stay back with you and fly at your pace.

It soundr wondelful, but I must keep going, I have ro findmy mother. I'rn sure she canl be far away. Maybe whenyou cone back ir the spring we can meer up again.

I'd lile that. Are you sut, you will be alrightl

UOIHLR SlvANanll BEWCK appea mjatically.

MOTHERSWAN: Pemy, come along, darling, we'll be lare.

I dont like to leave you here like rhis but I really have togo now. Good-bye md rhank you again, I von'r forset

PEN ryh Es UGLY in hq Nit78' tbel LeaM in the dffedion ofthe other swan.As sbe kat:es, UGLY again lnarc her 'bonk'.

Hohk!

Come with mel The others won't mindspring we'1l return together and I' helpfaniiy.

oh,I couldnt posibly. . .

you lind yourMuiic No, 16 NO\/ r\T SEEN YOU

Y',,IVE SEEN BUTTERFLIES ON BLUEBELLSDRINKING IN THF, DFIflCOB\ LB\ I]',J Tf]l SUr\llCH l, )HININC,rVI SEEN THEM TOOfVE SEEN VOODLANDS N THE AUTUMNFALLING LEAVES OF EVERY SHADE AND HUEI THOUGHT I KNE\f \(/HAT BEAUTIFUL \T/ASBUT NOI( TVE SEEN YOU

T\IE SEEN \(ATERFALLS CASCADI]\'GSPARKLING IN TIIE LIGHTDAMSEL FLIES THAT DANCE THEIR DANCEFROM MORNING TILL MGHTI'VE SEEN RAINBOVS RTACHING SKYI/ARI)PASS BET\IEEN TI-IE CLOIJDSTHEN FADE FROM VIF,\gI THOUGHT I KNX\fl \THAT BIAUTIFL,']- \i/ASBUT NO\(/ IVE SEEN YOU

AND THOUGH I'VF, SFFNTFII \(/TLOV'S VTEPING BRANCHESTTJE MISTY MORNING AIRA CLEAR AND STARRY NTGHTFL{S NOTHING TO COMPARE ,,JflITH YOU

TVE SEEN SVALLO\SS IN THE SUMMER\{'T]EELING OVERHEADI HA\E SEEN THE SILKVORMSPINNING GOSSAMER THRIADl HAVE SEEN THE GOLDEN SUNSETOVER THE HORIZONPAINTING SKIES OF PTNK AND BLUEI THOUGHT I KNX\(T Y/HAT BEAUTIFT]L \OAS3UT NOV TVE SEEN YOUNO\f fVE SEEN YOUOH NO'i/ I'VE SEEN YOU

UGLY:

UGLY doubleaks and kohs ccnfused.

HONK!

(UGLY, She von\ remembs me. I bet she doesn't even come

back. But if she does . . . why wouLd she want to have

anlthing io do vith me)

Music No. 16a PR.E VARTS I(Irotrlrnental)

At thdt noment d kge BI |LLFROG hops ap beside UGLY car,ling a rolhd ap

fupad under bi: am. The BULLFROG placa tbe lib on the soui.l anll hops

onto i. LIGLY tt xrtt anlj couv\, atvming it to be soneone e\e ta ta'nt him

BT]LLFROG: Ribbn, ribbn, whoops, pardon rne.

BIIT,FROG: Sorry, Fealhen, I didn'r mean to male you iump. Not that

there\ anlthing wrong wirh jumping of course - it son ofmru ir the lamily or junps in the family depending on

\(antl

Vell, go on, you might as well get it o{f your chest tellme how ugly I an.

HONK! 75

UCLY becoma dapondent as tlft thought .fdwns on him th' loneane as bea tifrlds PENt\ry,rll not wdnt ta haw anytbinsto do uitb soneone a: ugb a' hin

UGLY kolzs at the BULLFROGfoT tbelirst tine.

(BULLFROG:) . . . fiere, see. I qean join rhe do6, if we're ralkins 'ugly'they don't come much more aesthetically- challenged thanme. J Lnon *h.r yo rlrouble s - you ve been preeninsyourself too nuch.

\{har do you meal

You've got !9y4 in the mouth. Voo ha, ha, ha. [o,4 UTLNCZ) Nothing. I'm g€tiing nothing.

I want to be left on my own.

Now thaCs just dornright anti-social. Hing on. lcrea^ ,nt 'o', I've gor a hunan in my ttuo r. (Aeain the BULL-FROG goes into byst*ics bst non rcali<es that he s kughingalonel Oh well, I know how you fee1, but you mustn't letit depress you. I sraned our as a blob o{ jeily and n's been

downhill ever since.

UGLY actual\ kohs as &oush b k @dtnins to tbe BULL.FROG

I say to myseJf, "I'rn just a hrndsome prince ia frogtclorhing and one day someone's going to come along and

kiss me aod release ny imer beauty". paa@ And chen Isay to myself, "Nah, ger rea1, who walts to snog a frog!"

TbisJinally gas thrc"sh to UGLY @ho ldask ,itb the BULLFROG tbis time.Ugly?

Th€re. I hope you feel berter now.

\(/oa, woa, woa. H.ng on a minute. Do you mind if I hopoff and come bacl on aeaio?

UGLY:

BULLFROG:

UGLY:

BULLFROG:

BULI,FROG:

UGLY:

BLTLLFROG:

UGLY:

BLTLLFROG:

He naku afake e:cir and re.attry.

UGLY:

BULLFROG:

You Lnow what our trouble is?

No.

Our 'inage' isn't in vogue. That's all. It\ a quesion ofr*re. Bur you mrr\ my word.. one dal 'ugll r ill be in

I nean, have a word with yourself, Feathers. \(rho am ! tocall you uglyl Look * me . . .

76 HONK!

(BIJ'I"LFROGl)

Music No. 17 \(ARTS AND ALL(Bulifrog, Ugly, Froglels, Con1pmy)

tr YOUJUST SIT TIGHT ON YOUR LILI?ADEACH SILLY FAD \NLL PASSTI-IEN THOSE \(HO SPORTTHIS SEASON'S LOOK.*,ILL FALL FLAT ON THEIRASK-YOUR.MOTI]ER,\ITIAT.IT'S.CALLEDFOR FASHION TS A FICKLE THINGBUT JUST YOU VAIT AND SEETHE DAY \VILL COME \ITIEN \(T'RI TN sTT'I-EAND THEN I GUARANTEF .

OUT THEI.ESOMEONE'S GON$A LO\T YERSOMEONI'S GONNA LOVE }'F.RVARTS AND ALLOUI THERE

JUST AROI,'I.JD THE CORNIRIN AMONGST THE FA(INASOMEONT'S GONNA FATT FOR YOUTHOUGH TM T\?AI{NOSAURUS REXYSOME \x{LL FIND ME SEXY IN MY \qAYTHOUGH TT MAY TAKE SOME TIMETO FIND 'EM\{TIEN YOU DO YOU'LL HAVE A BALL,COS OUT THETTI SOMEVHBRESOMEONE'S GONNA LOVE YER\./ARTS AND ALT

(entbuiasucatly) Do yor rcally believe thrt?

Of course. If I didn\, I might as well jack ir atl in anddonate my legs to g*ronomic research. I,n relling you,Feathen, you've got ro iook on the suany side o{ rhe lilypad.

THE UGLIEST OF CREATURESHA\T A FEli/ REDEEMING FEATLIR.ESSO V'I]Y NOT LET YOUR BETTER POINTS

UGLY:

BULLFRO(;i

BULLFROG:

UGLY:

BUUFROG:

UGIJ:

BULLFROG:

Aa Two n.- " d r lO\Kl. z

(BI,'LLFROG'

UGLY:

SHINE FORTH)

A MOUTII THAT RUNS FROM EAST TO \rcSTIS BOT]ND TO I,{AKE YOU LOOK DEPRESSEDIT'S BETTER IF THE CORNERSBOTH POINT NORTH

That's the idea . . .

SO DON'T GO INTO HIDINGT}.IERE'S NO NEED FOR DISGUISEEVIN SOME IOTATOES HAVE GOT MCE EYES

I'm rellinsyou, Fearhen -

OUT THERESOMEONE'S GONNA IOVE YTRSOMEONT'S GONNA LO\E ]TR

I{ARTS AND ALL

Now you're aorking my language!

OUT TTIERIIN A MUDDY PLTDDLESOMEONT NEEDS A CLTDDLETHOUGH THE CH,{NCT IS SMALL

IT'S TRUE]

JUST THINK I(HJENE\TR YOU NEED BOOSTINGONT DAY YOU'LL BE ROOSTING \ITIH A MATE!THOUGH IT MAY TAKE SOME TIMETO FIND 'EM\XTIEN YOU DO YOU'IL HAVE A BALL

.COS OUT THEfu]SOME\flHERE SOMEONE'S GONNA LOVE YER\(ARTS AND ALI,

BOTH:

78 FIONK!

BULLFROG:

FROGLITS:

BUILFROG/UGLY:

Theyoxnger nenbers oftle COMPANY, *es'ed as FROGLETS, drc @edbd

BULLFROG: TE1I hiN, Kids!

I ROULI I s: \( )\1lWHl RF OUI 'tHIRI:\/E DON'T KNOW \TTIERISOMEONE IflLL CARETHEY'RE GONNA I-OVE ]'I]R ]i{TARTS AND ATL!SOME\THERI OUT IIIERE\(/E CAN'T SAY \fiIEREBU'T SOMEONE IS GONNA FALL FOR YOU

THOUGI I TM TY}L\NNOSAIJ']IUS REXYSOME \I.II-L FIND MI SEXY II\'MY \I/AY

THEY'LL FIND YOU SEXY

THOUGH IT MAY TAKE SOME TIMETO FIND 'EM\IFIEN YOU DO YOU'LL Ii{VE A tsALL

IfE KNO\f YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BALL

'COS OUT THERI SOME\OHERISOMEONE'S GONNA LOVE 1TR

Ihe Ht ofthe COILPANY, aka drclset d FROGLETS, ter.

COMPANY: SOIVIEONE,S GONNA rOVE tTR

BI,'I,LFROG/UGLY/MENr

FROGIETS:

ALI-:

OUT THEITLSOMEONE'S CONIbJA I-OVE YERSOMEONE'S GONNA LOVE YER\/ARTS AND ALIOUT TI IERIIN A MUDDY PIJDDLTSOMTONE NIEDS A CLDDLE

FIONK!79

(BULLFROG/UGLY/MEN'

FROGLtrTS/\TOMEN:

TI]OUGI I THE CHANCE IS SMALL IT'S TRUE

SOMEWHERE OUT TrIETiEIfI DON'T KNOV \/I IEREsOMEONI Y4T,L CARITLIEY'RE GONNA I,OVI YER \i'ARTS AND ALLsOME\NHERE OUT THERT\VE CAN-'T SAY TJ(/IIERE OR 'il/FIEN THOUGIITHE CHANCE IS SMAI-L IT'S TRLIT

JUST THN.JK \ITIENEVER YOU NEID BOOSTINGONE DAY YOU'LL BE ROOSTING \{l]TH A MA"IF,!

SOON fLL BE ROOSTING \I/]TH A MATFI

SOON YOU'LL BE ROOSTING

TIIOUGII lT MAY TAKI SOtvIE TrMETO FIND 'EM\{HEN YOUDO YOU'LL HAVE A BALL

\(/E KNO\{ YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A tsALL,BALL, BALL, BALL, I|ALL

,COS OUT:IHERESOME\flHERE SOMEONE'S GONNA LOVE YER

OUT THERESOME\ITIERD SOMIONE'S GONNA LOVE YER

OUT THERISOME\OHERE SOMEONT]'S GONNA LOVE TTRrJfAR'I'S AND AI I,

BULLFROG:

UGLY:

FROGLETS/\TOMEN:

BULLFROG/UGLY/MEN:

FROGLETS/VOMEN:

COMPAI\ry;

SOLOFROCLET:

COMPANY:

-*rys*,,,.80 HONKI

(COMPANY' VARTS AND ALL\(/ARTS AND ALI

UGLY:

Music No. 17A I/ARTS OFF(nstrumentd)

Tte FROGLETS di'pe$e.

BULLFROG: Must hop,I,tl be seeing yer, Fe:rhers. And remember, oneday ir vill be us who are the flavou of the month - oops,what am I sayhgt

Good.bye. ud rr l ou e.er Lnd 1ou*elf ne;r,he dr,.k1rddo c&n,I'd Iov€ you ro me* my frmily.

BULLFROG: ri/ell I hope you find ,em alright. Sray warm, say cheeriut.

See yer. Ribbn, ribbit.

Music No. 17B ?OST-VARTS(tnstrumenrrl)

nv BULUROC hop" ot again. Vu<" .top,. tJLLy toob"s abour htn, not *,et:,!tch @a) to ,,m. h u gatins da.k. Suddnb a bBhr rcreh bcan .hin^ onrchin. He stares traulxed in ts lp"n

FARMER'SVOICE:

A net drops oaer UGLY

Hont, honk, honk.

I'\.no good you yruSglirg "nd honkirg. I ve gor a frmity

ro feed and you'li ruke a fine suoday roisr. -

HonklHonkl

\frell what have we here) A nice plunp tirtte duckting.

UGLY:

FARMER S

VOICE:

UGI-Y:

UGLY:

CAT:

CAT:

Aa Two ut-*rm HONKT

FARMER'SVOICE Now, where,s my knife? phew, irt a bit brass monkevs

out here tonighr. Darn, I must've lefr it in my car.

W hat lhc FARMU t loot.tep: rerrcaung n ie nud. tfu LaT,udd"at\ pop, up/lom nauhere an.l

'@' I tC I Y i " $. ""t

CAN

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

CAT:

UGLY:

A car door slans sbat.

Hello, Ducky. I see rhe macram6 clases paid off.

You again. How did you find me?

Oh, r lirtle bird told ne.

Well you're roo 1ate. I'm going to be eten by rhe people.

TsL. Such a vasre.

Even if you hdped me ro escape you'd only eat nc your-sel{.

True.

Vell you're nor going to get me.

Oh, no. Het coming back.

Now listen, Ducky. I have what I think you will agree is avery lemprinS prupo.iion - !hich miglr JJ,r \ru.b u,both.

\/ell,I dont like oruges ifthat'span of the plan.

If you *ay here ir will be your turn to be a 'dresed duck',but if you come virh me I will rake you b:ck to rhe fannand you will ger ro.ee yorr morher. . . ior o1e las, ( me.

Enher way I ger earen, righr?UGLY:

.ry."

HONK!

cAn

ty/e heat a p prw hine fo o t steps.

I7e11, you canl have ir borL ways.

Quick. Make up ).our nind.

Alrighl you're on.

7be C4T qa;chly slxb* the net @;th h1, cku,.

7he two hurry of as the light k,1m rcta,rx and sbine, onto the empt! net

Vell curdle the cream on my cornflakes , het escapedl

FARMER'SVOICE:

Scene Five

lc c4.r tead u?t y.dwdl: h L bturl,okt ot t<ure. otd a rhe,cne pros,t*es ttby.is to sno.::-h:!.,t1 AI ncnbe., aJ tup cou"pA w 1",^ " ii""f ,t i"ilhtt? ue 'ft UCLY lbe L4T and tDA tt ugttnsthrcugh the.not

Aftl don' ,e rny lurn) bbine\. Fpmember rhi, wa) ,rtea:t you ger ro see your morher rg:in.

Music No. 18 TTaERIJZZARD(compaq.)

THE SI]I\ IS COLD AND VATERYTHE PONDS Aru DEBPLY FROZENOF ALL THE TIMES FOR TRAVELLINGIT'S NOT \J(/HEN \iT'D HAVE CHOSEN

Are you sue ro krow your sry bac!, ro rhe ou.Lvrd)we,eem ro be goins roud in Lircle\.

Shut up. It's &is snow. ft makes everything look rhe same.

Il

I

i

I)

I

I

I

FEMALEsoLo:

UGLY:

FEMALEsoLo: fr HF sKx s Atrf LREy AND MINA( \u

I A BLTZZARD \0'QU[D SEEM CERTATNI AND EVENGOOD KjNG Ty,ENCFSIAS

I WOULD NOI DRA\ BACK HISCURTAJNI

I MMMAI{. MMMAH, MMMAH. MMMAHLMMMAH. MMMAH, MMMAH

farr. arr. enI an. an. aH.

I au. au nu.I

Te!u:.d,uchaa dttu" in an tn"r*nnLat. ttu44 aL us*LaLyandve LA t st degh 48 t h/ough tbe <noa. ty/e dL",.p tDA ,ttu*tt ry. h,. ,nable rc.eeUCLY. throush rhe btirh,tt, d^pitp parst.e neht belie k^ rtit,W",t"",,i )m"

UGLY:

CAT:

IDA:

CHORUS:

I cant see beyond the end of rny beak!

Keep going, it mut be close now.

Hellol Are you out therel h anybody out rhere?

The storm continues to boal

CHoRUS: (sdrcdsticdth)

THE \i/EATHER'S TURNTD OUT MCE AGAINBUT SADTY IOR O1JR HEROTHE \)('.IND CHITL FACTOR TENDS TO KEIPTTIE TEMPIRATURE STJ}ZF,RO

+ CAT/UGLY: THE BITING COLD

THI SMRLING SNO\(/IT'S HARD TO CATCII A BR.EATH

AND THOUGH V4 HATE TO SAY THE I/ORDTIITY'RE FACING CERTAIN

CHORUS:

IIONK]

(cHoRUS' FAC]NG CERTAINFACING CERTAIN. . .

Lt:::": bkes ".:..:" a,e tpt !;.htGtyd\j rtu C47 .onrt.etl b*ierlfrnea,rh a h,K vo@ drirq dxemLbte ont.y a tuuhohacotkpsedon ttesu.ta,,;,,1;:";;;;,;:',.0' i t 'hc 'nou. dnd tDA

SOLO MALE/FEMALE: THI \rIND HAS BLO\{A\I

THI SNOT/ IN DRIFTSTOO BEAUTtrUL FOR \TORDS

SOLO MALE:

ALI-:

IT MAY IOOK GOOD FOR CI.IR]STMAS CARDS

BUT NOT FOR CATS AND BIRDS

Music No. 19 TRANSFORI,IATToN(Jgh rda, penny)

nr snoa on the graand k"gtn: h nett. IDA ,tit\ ,: rcw ho",l rc, bodj. A, fie .,o" *"t6 ,k ,",;nd Ee^ b t (.ka. b.v+ia8 *"

parion. whe," we i* _a rlr *r*i i t,i'ii'!"3,1::r::."::;" :.!;nel ton a a a?prcad, bx ic.y,1ane.

(zErr quiet\)Honeyt... Oh, no... My baby!

)l:i:i !:,* ^ .t: Iilb:h ftie. rc s-abbk a, the .to! ,ta, ,u-a,nd,uor r. tt u ro toauzl. <he vnh"s n he. k*e,,obbitn.

IDA:

No. ror.like rhis. Nor after aU rhis dme.rnDg,,whar wa n for) \,/}ar qas rtelltfle tiiel Ir cant end like rhis. Ir.an,r . . .

:::,:aLit.:.,:,,: tDA. rA rHtR \wA^..MotHt R wA\ dad Rfv4cx ha.eLn.erca behthd ho, ecampanrcd h) pEN/ti:/.

FATHERSVAN: Nor wil n, my dear.

-s1,"' -

IDA paases as she acknoatedges $e prcsence of tt{ Stv.ANS.

1.11..,r.,0: M), o,hy i, d d. t,\ rr nrv rJulr. Hewrnderd rs"1.lron.,hc ne.r ijs .p,ns. r :ho,ld h*"8on:,{e: hln bu,I had h,, o,other. rni,nro.. ,o *,,, rcoxron I JUn leave ,hem. And now. n"q I.n roo hLe

MOTIIER$/AN:

IDA:

IDA:

MOTHER SVAN ?aa bq uing anund lDA.

( V_ .1. my oe,rr. For r he s r mrh or a mor he-, rea., crnthrw rh. sroniesr frosr.

Oh, if only I couid believe that.BE\/ICIC you must. Fo! irhar do we h:ve if we don,t have hope)IDA.t'atl, ta the BMut auj weep, m the snou thrcet^s,, h6 @"n ,,"h,,. BeL,; ;. ; ");:,::, :-'

I GI v \tx tun. a@a!

n te uct y 'oum;- rhe;;;;il:,iii;iffii;",Zfi;":,fr,:;

E_,"1,ared ^, Lpaut{,t,r,n. D, rn nt ja wn i,. t cLy,*,;;:.',.A::,;tn tbe me la? sno@uater,

UGLY: r'm . . . I,m not a duck, I,m nor a duck. I,In a svan!As the nasic sodn UGLY proadty dtsphys hi: new ptunage.

Honk!

fuddenb UGLy,ees rDA.

Mama!

nerface one anothd in sitence

UGLY/IDA:

JUST KNO\X,TNG YOU VTRE OUT THERF.H!lPID MI TO GET BYAND NOI'/ I/E'RE RITAIITEDI CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH

';:r^"lf,l aab,a " Fon khnd ,h" oh-.h,cp s,x/A \tr. ptNTw p,.h4

ili

i

11

i

i

I

1r

j

I

n

l

85 HONK!

PENIIJY: l.\ h:ni lr\ him. rarhtr. t he cygne I rold you abour, rheonp whosred mv lile./7o UGl )rDo

'ou,emember me)

l?a,Jel oh. come on, say yo, *rn..U.i -.r/:bbt ot . .. ol cor"rr I remember you. Hoq could IlorBer you) You re rhe rnos beruritut rhing t.ve <vd ,een.

\X eJL you.hould rrke a took a, louown relie. tion.

IVE SEIN RAJ\Bo\/s REALHINC 5Kl.wAP.DIJASS BETWEIN THE CLOI DSTI{EN FADE FROM V]IIrI THOUGHT I KNITO \NTIAT BEAUI'IFUL !(/ASBUT NO1'( T\E STIN YOU

AND THOUGH I'VE SEEN THE MLLO\(i5ri{EEPTNG BRANCHESTHE MISTY MORNING AIRA CLEAR AND STARRY MGHTHAS NOTHING TO COM?ARE V4TH YOU

And you knew? You klew r was a swan.

Of couN I did. I hr-\ \ hy I *ked you ro come wirh u,, ifonly your wingr had been lrrong Moush.

\/e11, now you cu come wirh us and learn our v.",.

Ard rny nofier) Car she come too?

OI .ou^e I cant. tm ,rs r b:gg1 otd d. ck, I , an, rea. hyou rhe ways ot rhe swans.

But you taught me to swim?

UGLY:

PENNY:

PEN}IYlUGLYI

UGLY:

PENNY:

FATHERSVAN:

UGLY:

IDA:

UGIY:

HONK!87

UGLY:

IDA:

IDA:

UGLY:

IDA:

{nd lrom wh-r Lenember rhar nerrJy rinnheo ne oft-tt. hardly .urpri'rng rea]l". trrc" me react-Ee, ,*u roswim

But I want you to come.

L an, come wirh you. ml ptr.e i. brLA on .h" bte q irhyou, rrth"r. bhs hlm. Thev wy bjrd" ot r ferhenhouldrror k ,oga he! Jnd ) our pL.e t wjrh rhe sr rrs nos rndlthinlr t Lnow "omeone who\ rurler kF"n ut )ou lhoulo

MOTHERS\TAN:

IDA:

IDA kok hno@inety to@ad pE^Ny.

FIE \/AS DIFFERINTHI Ii(/AS DIFIERENI FROM THE REST

Bur I've only just found you. I'm not sure I waft ro leave

Of come 1ou do. Now go on. berore I ger rI rermt lnduruffe\Jry bu, rou make .ure you come b/ck md lisirus, r d rhe ducklft. rro the tenate WAN| Laok ahe-hrm lorme, wonl you)

Cood'bye. my dear. I hi, mu,, be reru hrd ror you bur Ipromise he llbe srfe wnh us.

I m sure he wilJ. 6tu 3rres t GLy d fnat b"p wei'. za anthenl tf,r'r see lou fly.

IDA uatcha.UGLY and ttn SVANS teiLe . okt of silht of ttre audience. IDAcontimks to shout eicoffilgement.

Go on you can do itl Take a nur ar it! ThaCs the w:y!

l-DA .hp, UGt Y! *..p,,Jut lake ofl a.1(1rDakh\ rlre,wAN\ Jt, of. \hclattau<then @t!b he, etes and r!)aL", ta ucfy

HONK!

OF COURSE HE CAN'T BEIONG \YIIH MEI KNO\f,I SHOULD I.IAVE GUESSEDHE \(ASN'T I,TINT TO MOTHERHE Ti/ASN'T MINE TO RF,ARANOTHER DREAM GETS \i/ASHED AVAYANOTFIER DREAM ANOTHER MOTI-IER'S TEAR

l DA,oat M R ro, hl h !,he s rttA \', rh2h, pa, t" lr,tt t,e, pJ^. A, t t9 IJ, in thcdt'taa,c. at:1t" be sn . Ke/' b 'be audrc nc . tDA tooh< pt ztett. >"e , iuu, tr",JbinsswANS.

One,two,rhree...!

At thdt moment UGLY and pE^Nyredppear khind IDA.

UGLY:

IDA:

UGLY:

Honkt (ltusic stops)\ou <lidnl reaLlv think ld teave voubehindl

Oh. bL, you mu,r. You musr rh,n^ rbou, your"ett noo.It\ vou life udyou belons wirh rhe swan(.

But whyl I donl cue whose egg I c:me out of, you aremy morher. you rrired me rnd r har.. whar , oum,.

\fell . .

Lt raj<e. .on. ro make r sorlo, and rou ,rid voursefrha' he duckyard would bF borins iI $e dI tooked ,hesam€, so, I've deci&d ro come back wirh you , to bedifferenr.

\0e are both conring back.

To be the firsi swans on tle lake. r,ve been ditferent alt mvl:fe. I p+ dirfe.enr A " ducllinp mo nov |t be yL,,r i.d,lte,Fn, i\ r ,wan. I lile heins nle. I like mv honk. I ]itrebeingdif{erenr!

UGLY:

r

Music No. 19A MELTING MOGGY(C,t)

I've just gor a little uafinished busines.

Act Two ,q*-rm HONK!--.. 89

IDAi Ylu JJe..flJniv rhr.4D,4 t,g,,hen ba rtn\optoudol voJ. VeL wh/r rrc qe wriring ror? lcant vair ro see Drake's reaction. r think he mighi lay aness and whar lb!'nisht rurn i"to do"sniU"aithiniing

IDA nakes ta leal,e. UGLY boLts bdch.

UGLY:

UGLY goa orer to the fnzm \nowman, uhich still contuins the CAT. LtGLytaps the ire ahich drcps away ta re@at tbe CAT.

CAT: Flello Du. . . Du . .. Du.. . Swannyt S,n^nny/ (A ldhkon) svanee (,Jedicdt b.qb) Hov r love y€r, how r tov€v€r . . .

YOU CAN ILAY \vITH YOIIR DUCKLN.{TIL YOU GOOSE ITYOU CAN CHICKEN YOIJR S\/ANUNTIL YOU GROUSETOGETHER I(/E COT'LD FRICASSEEYOUR MOTHERIT'SACMZYLI...IT'SACR{ZYU,.,IT'S A CR.{ZY LI . .:THE VEATHER'S TI,T.NED OUT NICT AGAINIT'S A CN.A.ZY TITTLE GAME CAr$D . . .

I quit! I give up! I sure erl I've been vorLing too hard......Aaaarrgh!

1he A I *n" out scrun,ng Th" tdppJ | rc lahSh toEelhe- at i. wt d,anat;,albtrandtnsarcund rhm ro rhe ducbatd.

HONK!

Scene Six

1l)e nhabiknt, of rhe d,cqattt, led g r/,e nau otpruao rc l-eet the,tuminr r"*^.r0 r,,, "r!irl,"ohi/e Dr t KLt,rc\. u,t

Music No. 20 ACT TVO FINALB LOOK AT HIM (Reprise)(company)

DRAKE/MAUREEN/GRACE/DUCITUNGS: Hurra\l (Etc)

LOOK AT Htr\fDID YOU IVER SEE A FINER BIRD

Honk!

DRAKE/MAIJ'REEN/GRACF/DUCKLINGS: HARK AT HnvI

tritr HffiiltrilH3r srr \E Vr HIARDIN THIS TflHOLE SFIEBANGMA}'BE YOU'LI FORGryF IN AITAND IOT HO?FWTIH ENOUGH SOFT SOAPIEAD OLR GANG?

or,o:l:I r.orsNe \ou. I.m iu,r hrppy ro se" 1ou :JJasau. And ,, inuodu(e ro, ,q.om"6n'-' I n;. ;, 1,.rn,

Hello.

(Ec h elou s h) Het\a, p en ny IDRAKE:

GMCE ptxha her uay n thefvt.

DUCKLINGS: IOOKATHtM

",.,4ld44eli.tirr,.: .

Iij=; [li.#j sii i"5,i:-",#tg ,:.,;:,i5rerrnquEh fi€ Red Band. .

Apptusefion the assenbted. ?a,ttry, st,ltkd b MA IREEN.

V/err jr $ irh pride, m\ d€arb,,.d"",h; j,]i;.*ii;; i J:,,"";;;0"*,* n".",

Mue appkase fron tu UREEN, who suddmg reatkes that she b ckpping alora.

Ard hr rr b" tnuwn thar. nom rhir dry fonh, rh" RedBand shatJ be knoq n o the C) gn"( fnnB,

GRACE/MAIIREEN,/lDA/DUCKUNGS/DRNKE:

GRACE:

DRAKF,:

LOOK AT Hft,LOOKATUS,SEE THE DIFFERINCE\!TIY DID vT EVER THINK Hn4 A DLD?

i,t#il"5y,ffitr;s1it#J,::":: "ry

*,h,"s"d b'*"* rDA and DRAKE rbe ruRKEy ru1x into thecreanng n a state of great exciemmt.

TTIRKEY:

AIL:

TURKEY:

ALI:

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

\i/har?!

I made it through Christm*sll!

LOOK AT HIMALL THE SPLENIDOLIR OF A NOBLE S'O(AN

HONKl

(DUCXIINGS'

AI-L:

DUCKUNGS

AND \iT'VE GOT HI,I\4 AS A BROTHIR

IOOK ATHIMFROM A DUCKIING TO A PARAGON

IOOKATHIM

ALL;

GRACE:

ALL:

GRACE:

ALL:

.i/E IfON'T SI(/AP H[4 FOR ANOTHER

f ^lov rHa.r you.Rf BACK oN rHf r AKEI

L YOU'RE BACK ON THT LAKE

f lnov'sr vor woN T r EAVFI

LPROMISE YOU VON'T IIAVF

YOIJR EK{MPLE'S THTRE TO TAKEJUSI BELIEVTIN YOT]RSELFDON'T BE LTFTON THT SHELFFETLING THAT ALL HOPE IS DEAD AND GONEAND YOU MAY FINDIN YOUR OvN \TAYYOU'RE A SIOAN

Honk!

THE END

Music No.2l C[TRTATN CALLS(rnsrurnerrat)

Music No, 21A "RnD ARRO,'/S" BO!/S MUSC(Optionat Instrurnenral)

MFN:

Music No 21A

)iffi;;o o.. r*"on*,

OUT THIRESOMEONT'S GONNA LOVE TTRSOMEONE'S GO\NVA LOVT )TR!(/ARTs AND ALIOUT TIIERED\i A MLIDDY PUDDLESOMBONE NEEDS A CTJDDLETHOUGFI THE CHANCE IS SMALL II'S TRUE

SOMEWHIRE OUT THEREVG DON'T KNOW \{lIERF,SOMIONB \0ILL CARETHIY'RE GOAN{A LOVT YERrifiARTS AND ALLSOME\/HERE OUT THERE\ I-CAN"J SAY WHI RT OR \{ Hr\ THOL CHTHE CHANCE IS SMALI,IT,S TRI]F

--'.

JUSI l HTNK !(IIF\E\,TR YOL NEED EOOS I]NCoNI DAy yoL LI Sl noo:rNc !0r rH a l\,l,{rrt

SOON I'IL BE ROOSTING \{,'lTH A MATI!

SOON YOU'LL BE ROOSTIAIG

THOUGH IT MAY TAKE SOME TIMETO FIND 'EM\{TIEN YOU DO YOU'LI HAVE A BAIL

VI KNOr,)r YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BALL,BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL

VOMEN/KIDSr

BULLFROG/MEN:

UGLY:

\/OMEN/KIDS:

BULLFROG/UGLY/MENr

VOMEN/KIDS:

HONlO

As nwic goa halftenpa ttn COMpAhy bo@.

OUT THERE SOMETflHERESOMTONE'5 GONNA LO\,T YER.{/AX.TS AM) AI I!/AX.TS AND ALLT/ARTS AND AIL

lMusic No.21B PLAY-OUT(bstrumental)l

ff{\fg'o'tt E,esilrcd. tuil pterce rep.Ee No. )l .Bow

I

I